Latest / AWAKEN with Dylan Ayaloo: Inner Work, Healing, Yoga & Meditation / [EP63] How to see your blind spots (and why other people see them first)

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[EP63] How to see your blind spots (and why other people see them first) · AWAKEN with Dylan Ayaloo: Inner Work, Healing, Yoga & Meditation

• 0:00
  The short answer, without giving it away completely, is that I don't believe, at least from my experience, or I haven't discovered a way yet for me, for myself, I speak for myself, for me to completely be aware of all the things that I'm not aware of.
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  Because that is basically, you know, a higher level of awareness, like consciousness, right?
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  Like we have then consciousness of all the things that we are not conscious about.
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  So that's kind of if there was such a thing as done, then that would be it, I guess.
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  So therefore, it is a continuous journey for us, you know, mere mortals, you know, the non-enlightened versions of ourselves.
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  but as far as you know i know from my experience of this work is that um there are sometimes little
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  clues um well firstly i'll start by saying that it's always easier for others around us to see it
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  hear it feel it first you know to get a sense of it first before we have a sense of our own you know
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  Or as people are like, I have a sense of my own patterns, let's say.
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  So the people around me, which is why I would say it suggests that community is a really powerful element.
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  Therefore, you know, our community.
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  the process in this case it's me who has hopefully done enough work on themselves
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  you know and is able to relate on some level even if you know whoever is facilitating hasn't been
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  through exactly the same thing but they have some version or variation of that and they have the
• 1:57
  ability to see it from an external perspective and not just see it but also be able to speak
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  it so therefore communicates it in a way that can be received so therefore you know you you you also
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  can see it but not only that from a facilitator point of view i would say that they have the
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  skill set they experience the ability to then guide you through a process you know out of that
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  place so out of let's say in this question it's out of let's say lack of awareness of the pattern
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  to awareness and then doing something about it, you know, like overcoming it, resolving it,
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  healing it, you know, whatever the variation is. So first part I would say is like having the,
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  you know, the kind of support structures around us. Because I think the way we are built as human
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  being is that, you know, we were not built to just operate as silos, like complete, you know,
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  disconnect from everyone and everything and just be completely separated.
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  You know, when we come together, you know, we're much more powerful than just a single unit.
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  So that's one thing.
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  And then, you know, there's only a certain amount of that.
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  Maybe sometimes, you know, we don't have access to the community or, you know, for whatever reason, right?
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  Like we don't have that.
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  I think the next part I would say is like as far as like self-guiding and bringing self-awareness,
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  the first part is realizing that you know i'm in a roller coaster i'm in the roller coaster
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  you know so it's like if it's the first time i'm going through it you know i will have less
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  awareness of of it so therefore i'm not aware until maybe the roller coaster has ended you
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  know and i've gone back maybe to the starting point let's say of the pattern so therefore
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  I'm in, you know, like, just like a tumble dryer, just get like tumbled around and around and around
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  until the tumble dryer stops. Then I'm like, oh, I was in a tumble dryer then. You know, that was
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  not comfortable. And the second, third, you know, following times, there is a bit more awareness,
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  because then we can say, hmm, this looks a little bit familiar. And then we get better and better
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  are actually seeing it and you know we can catch it we can catch the pattern out much earlier
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  so therefore what i mean like you know by stepping out of the roller coaster so when we see the signs
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  of like i you know this looks familiar i feel like i've been here before you know so we're starting
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  to predict obviously that's the one of the powers of our mind is that it's a pattern recognition
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  machine so there goes i think you know i've seen this pattern before so this time i can make maybe
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  a different choice um or the choice might might just be not going down the same path you know so
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  not participating with it that's already a different choice you know rather than just like
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  taking completely different actions so that in and of itself you know you could say is awareness
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  like it's I'm practicing awareness the other thing I'd say is the body gives
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  clues normally before we realize it on a let's say mind level you know so the
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  awareness body sensor kind of just give more direct and let's say instant
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  feedback so obviously you know when we're experiencing things emotionally
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  emotional component also has a physical component to it. So we experience things in our body as well,
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  which is why in our body of work, you know, I've not separated the physical, in our cases, you know,
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  the postural practice, the yoga practice, away from the transformation work or from the meditation.
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  So the meditation can help with awareness, the stepping out, you know, off the roller coaster
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  and seeing it. The body awareness can come from practicing body awareness so that therefore we can
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  to sense you know become aware of what information the body is giving which also helps with that
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  pattern recognition and pre-empting of the patterns at earlier and earlier stages before we actually
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  find ourselves in the tumble dryer itself and you know as you guys know from doing the work you know
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  being in the body and breath and body connection continues to cultivate awareness bring awareness
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  to see things in a different way, like from the lens of the physical body.
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  And then on the level of the mind, I would suggest that there is always some kind of
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  a narrative that's, you know, happening in the mind that's being played out, like is
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  playing out basically in the mind.
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  and normally there's some level of in the narrative you know either there is a question being asked
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  or there's an answer to a question you know that is like the background questions like why do I
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  always you know or why does this always happen to me or why can't I or why is it so hard you know
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  Those kinds of questions.
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  And firstly, it's actually paying attention to, you know, realizing like, okay, this seems to be the question I'm asking myself.
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  And sometimes actually just saying it out loud, you know, or just like saying it out mentally, like, okay, I'm seeming to ask myself this question of why am I not good enough, for example, right?
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  Like, why can't I?
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  Why does this happen to me all the time?
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  and it's asking a different question because questions are very powerful questions direct
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  the mind right so therefore when you see me doing interventions with people i would normally ask
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  questions because you know i want to guide the mind to finding certain answers you know to come
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  out of the let's say entanglement of the mind so why am i not good at this or why does you know
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  this happened to me all the time or you know life is unfair like there's a certain kind of theme
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  and an underlying question that shapes that theme so therefore by changing the question
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  sometimes it's just you know a flip of you know from a why to a what maybe or a how right like
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  why am i so bad at this it's like how could i you know get out of this situation or resolve this um
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  you know with ease or a question that I you know have practiced asking myself a lot over the years
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  is what am I not seeing yet that you know maybe life is trying to show me like trying to reveal
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  to me you know what is it that I can't see from you know the perspective I'm in the angle that
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  I'm viewing this thing from you know from where I'm standing and viewing this thing from so if I
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  change you know where I'm seeing it from can I see it in a different perspective therefore it gives me
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  a different light you know different awareness of it and then along the lines of that taking on from
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  what I started with you know if I can use my mind you know the mind kind of is good at imagining
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  things and this one is a little bit harder but I think you know it's possible if others can see
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  you know it much easier can i pull myself out of it enough to put myself in the perspective of
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  someone else looking in from outside into my situation does that give me a different perspective
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  you know in other words like what is it like for someone else to experience me like this or to be
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  on the receiving end of this communication or lack of communication or whatever right the situation
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  and all of this is kind of like teasing out you know trying to get a different perspective on
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  what can seem like you're in the roller coaster and you know it's like it's active and you're
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  trying to like pull yourself out so sadness is hard for the first time but you know not that
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  it gets easier but it does get a little bit easier every single time we go through it because
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  there's a little bit more space.
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  You know, we are, you could say,
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  not in the roller coaster so much the second time
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  and the third time and the fourth time,
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  you know, we go down that pattern.
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  And more than that, I've not found a more effective way
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  for me to be completely aware of myself,
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  you know, in the areas that I'm not aware of yet.
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  You know, like that is part of the work.
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  You know, so external perspective,
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  using breath and body
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  on the level of the mind
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  if you're not so stuck in the head
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  then asking a different question
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  can help
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  and then also when I talk about body
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  paying attention to emotion as well
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  what's the emotion I'm feeling right now
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  and even though I talk a lot about
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  and in our frameworks like feel, heal, manifest
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  yes, feel it
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  but I would say feel it
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  in as much as that we don't drown
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  ourselves in the emotion
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  know like I've caught myself as well where I'm just like drowning in the
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  emotion because I've felt it so much and there's a time and place to feel it to
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  become aware of it to acknowledge it and then there's a time to move like you
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  know move basically like start to take action or start to create movement in in
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  the direction you know of a certain results that I'm after it could be
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  anything could be resolving it could be healing it you know could be having some
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  space from it, whatever it is. So those are some things I'd offer.
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  Let me see if there's anything else.
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  Yeah. So breath, body,
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  emotion, mind, and then external.
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  But I still haven't, at least
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  in the last 20 years, found a way to, either with myself or with others,
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  where we could completely do it for ourselves
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  And I don't think we are meant to, you know, like it's it's we have a map of our in our own world and there's other people who have different map of the world.
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  And we are meant to actually collaborate and co-create and cooperate and support each other and contribute to each other.
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  and therefore we start to lift each other up,
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  like to elevate each other to different levels of awareness
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  and therefore the results that come from cultivating
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  and having that awareness from these practices.
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  So that's what I would say.
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  That would be my answer to it.
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  But I understand when we're in it, it's really hard to see it
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  hear it again one more part of it which is if all my inner work is being viewed through the awareness
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  i currently have how do i see beyond the edges of that awareness one more exercise i guess um i found
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  is basically like similar to what i just said before but like a different lens of it
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  is through the lens of time.
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  So how would a past me,
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  you know, if past me came to visit me
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  in the situation I'm in,
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  let's say if I find myself in the situation,
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  what would he or she say?
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  And if future me was to come back in time
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  and visit me while I'm going through this thing
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  that, you know, I'm struggling to have awareness of,
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  what would he or she say?
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  And that can offer a different perspective as well.
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  even though it's you, it's a different version of your past
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  and future. And obviously there's many versions of
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  past and future that can offer a different perspective as well
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  to a situation. So if future you came back and
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  was to offer up maybe
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  not just a solution but an awareness,
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  what would they say? What kind of questions would
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  what insights would they offer?
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  And I think future,
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  you know, me, you can generally
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  kind of give us a pretty good perspective.
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  Because if future you
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  has already solved present you's challenges,
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  which they have obviously
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  because they've made it there,
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  they will have something to offer.