Latest / The Burnout Podcast with Fexingo: Workplace Exhaustion, Recovery, and Sustainable Careers / How Burnout Rewrites Your Career Story
Transcript
- Lucas: You know that moment when you're in a meeting, or maybe just staring at your inbox, and you catch yourself thinking, 'This isn't who I am'? Not in a dramatic way—just a quiet, unsettling recognition that the story you used to tell about your career doesn't fit anymore. Luna: Yeah, I've had that. It's like the script got rewritten while you weren't paying attention. Lucas: Exactly. And there's actually some fascinating research on this. A 2023 study in the Journal of Vocational Behavior tracked over 200 professionals for three years. They found that burnout often doesn't start with exhaustion—it starts with a shift in narrative. People stop seeing themselves as the protagonist of their career story and start seeing themselves as a supporting character, or worse, a victim. Luna: So the story changes before the symptoms show up. Lucas: Right. And that's what we're going to unpack today—how burnout rewrites your career story, and what you can do to take the pen back. But first, if this kind of practical, research-based conversation is helpful to you, I'll mention that the show stays ad-free because of listener support. So if you find value in episodes like this, you can help keep it that way at buy me a coffee dot com slash fexingo. No pressure at all—just a way for people who get something out of it to keep it going. Luna: Yeah, it really does make a difference. I've seen the numbers, and every contribution counts. Thanks to anyone who's already chipped in. Lucas: Alright, back to the story. So this study—they interviewed people every six months. And one of the clearest patterns was that before a major burnout episode, participants described their work like a novel they were trapped in. Instead of 'I chose this project because...', it became 'I have to finish this project or else...'. Luna: That language shift seems small, but it's huge. 'I have to' versus 'I choose to'—that's agency slipping away. Lucas: Exactly. And once that narrative takes hold, it colors everything. Promotions feel like traps. Wins feel like luck. Failures feel like proof that you never belonged. The researchers called it 'narrative foreclosure'—a term borrowed from gerontology, where older adults stop imagining new chapters for their lives. But here it's happening in your thirties and forties. Luna: Narrative foreclosure. That's a chilling phrase. So how do you reverse it? Lucas: Well, the study also pointed to a few things that helped. One was deliberately rewriting your career 'origin story'—not to make it false, but to highlight moments of agency you'd forgotten. For example, someone who felt stuck in a toxic workplace might remember that they actually chose to stay for a specific reason—like a sick parent or a skill they wanted to build. That reframing restores a sense of control. Luna: So it's not about pretending everything was your choice. It's about acknowledging the choices you did make, even within constraints. Lucas: Right. And another technique was something called 'outsider perspective'. They asked participants to describe their career as if they were a close friend looking in. And almost everyone was kinder to themselves when they took that third-person view. They could see patterns and strengths they'd been blind to. Luna: That makes sense. When you're inside the story, everything feels like a crisis. From outside, you see it's just a chapter. Lucas: Exactly. One participant in the study was a marketing director who believed she'd ruined her career after a failed product launch. But when she described it as a friend's story, she said, 'She took a smart risk in a tough market. That's not failure, that's data.' Luna: Wow. That's a complete narrative flip. And it probably unlocked energy she didn't know she had. Lucas: It did. She went on to start her own consultancy. But I want to be careful here: this isn't about 'just tell yourself a better story' and expect burnout to vanish. Burnout is real, and it requires rest, boundaries, sometimes medical support. But the narrative piece is often overlooked. If you don't address the story, you can recover physically and still feel empty. Luna: Because the meaning is gone. You've lost the plot. Lucas: Exactly. So today we're going to talk about three concrete steps to reclaim your career narrative. First, audit your internal language. Second, collect evidence of agency. Third, write a new chapter. Luna: Let's start with the language audit. What does that look like? Lucas: Simple but not easy. For one week, every time you catch yourself thinking or saying 'I have to', write it down. Then ask: 'Do I really have to? Or do I choose to? What's the consequence of not doing it?' You'll be surprised how many obligations are actually choices we've forgotten we made. Luna: I tried that years ago. I found that about 60 percent of my 'have-tos' were actually 'choose-tos'. It was liberating. Lucas: It's almost always over half. And the ones that are genuine have-tos—like payroll or safety compliance—you're at least conscious about them. That alone reduces the feeling of victimhood. Luna: So step two: collect evidence of agency. Lucas: Right. Go through your career timeline—last job, last five years, or even last week. List moments where you made a decision, big or small. You chose to apply for that job. You chose to speak up in that meeting. You chose to stay late to help a colleague. Write them down. This is your counter-narrative to 'I'm just a pawn'. Luna: And it doesn't have to be dramatic. Even choosing to turn off your Slack at 6 PM is an act of agency. Lucas: Exactly. And the third step—write a new chapter. Not a whole novel, just one paragraph. Where do you want your career story to go next? What kind of protagonist do you want to be? The researcher called this 'narrative expansion'—opening up possibilities instead of foreclosure. Luna: And it's fine if that paragraph changes. The point is to start writing rather than feeling like the story is already over. Lucas: Exactly. You could even do this as a letter to yourself from your future self. Something like, 'Dear past me, I know you're tired, but I want to tell you that the next chapter is really good. You start a side project that reminds you why you got into this field...' Whatever fits. Luna: I love that. It's kind of like giving yourself permission to imagine a different ending. Lucas: And that imagination is the first step toward real change. Because your brain can't work toward a future it can't picture. So we're not just talking about feel-good stuff here—this is cognitive science. Luna: So for someone listening right now who feels like their career story has already been written by burnout, what's the one thing you'd say to them? Lucas: I'd say: your story is not finished. The chapter you're in may be dark, but the book is still open. And you have a pen. Even if it's just a tiny margin note today, that's enough. Luna: That's a good note to end on. Thanks, Lucas. Lucas: Thanks, Luna. And thanks to everyone who supports the show. We'll see you next time.