Latest / Rise & Realign: Conversations for the Sensitive Soul / Ep 7 | The Depth That Sensitive Hearts Carry

Transcript

Ep 7 | The Depth That Sensitive Hearts Carry · Rise & Realign: Conversations for the Sensitive Soul

0:02
Welcome to Rise and Realign, Conversations for
0:07
the Sensitive Soul. I'm Melissa, and this space
0:12
is for those of us who feel deeply, love fiercely,
0:16
and sense the world in ways that are hard to
0:20
explain but impossible to ignore. Here, we honor
0:25
your sensitivity as a strength, not something
0:29
to fix. So today I'm speaking as always from
0:39
my heart and being sensitive. You know, the best
0:48
way that I have come to describe it is this depth
0:52
of caring. I know the women. in my life whether
0:59
it's personally or professionally whether it's
1:02
a colleague or you know what we refer to as a
1:07
client um it's really the depths of their of
1:15
their caring that is so beautiful and so tender
1:22
and um Gee, I know personally, I have called
1:31
each of my children and still do sweetheart.
1:34
You know, I really feel like it's, it's so beautiful.
1:41
It's so sweet. It's so loving. It's so caring,
1:46
right? Like when you have this trait, and again,
1:50
this trait of sensory processing sensitivity,
1:56
or high sensitivity. It's equal between males
2:02
and females. So I have three children and two
2:06
are males. So I am amazed again at how deeply
2:16
caring, how sweet, how loving, and how attuned.
2:26
not only my children, but the people in my life
2:30
who are sensitive. And really, I speak from my
2:39
heart, you know, these conversations are for
2:42
the sensitive soul, because we grew up in a culture
2:47
that didn't honor it, didn't understand it, you
2:50
know, and that's a really important piece that
2:55
I speak from because, you know, blaming society
3:03
for not recognizing it, you know, or blaming
3:09
our parents, right, for how we felt, right? Like,
3:16
none of that actually nurtures us, you know,
3:20
none of that actually helps us to relax. into
3:25
our own beautiful hearts, right? It's not what
3:30
calms our nervous system so that we can feel
3:33
safe. And many of us have developed coping mechanisms
3:41
that they were meant to keep us safe, right?
3:50
I know many of the women I support, they're so
3:58
independent, right? And often feel like others
4:02
don't understand them. And that's a really important
4:08
piece to recognize, right? Like, so if we've
4:12
in a sense, withdrawn or retreated from social
4:16
gatherings or you know certain circles of people
4:20
um it's not because there's something wrong with
4:25
us per se that's our nervous system saying i'm
4:31
not feeling safe with these people right and
4:34
again it's not that necessarily we're around
4:37
people who would intentionally want to causes
4:43
pain or discomfort. It's more of that's how deeply
4:47
we feel things. That's how deeply we think about
4:51
our experiences, right? How we reflect and it
4:56
becomes overwhelming to our nervous system. So
5:00
I really want to raise awareness to the beautiful
5:09
and complexities of being a sensitive soul. Because
5:14
if your life, you know, appears to others, as
5:20
you know, you're doing something wrong, or you're
5:23
never going to meet, you know, that right partner,
5:26
or you're never going to this or that, like that's
5:29
coming from their limited perspective, right?
5:33
No one on the planet knows what it feels like
5:38
to be you. No one knows what your nervous system
5:42
feels like. No one knows the thoughts that are
5:45
coming into your mind that you are accessing.
5:51
No one knows. And so no one else has the right
5:56
to tell you what you should or shouldn't do.
6:02
I'm really speaking from a place of honoring,
6:05
right? Like as sensitive souls, you have your
6:14
own inner guidance. I mean, we all do, don't
6:17
get me wrong. But again, I'm speaking to the
6:20
sensitive souls, right? So your own inner guidance
6:24
is doing its best to guide you. I'll say, or
6:32
inspire you, right, to grow. But oftentimes,
6:37
that voice of the inner critic, you know, or
6:40
others who can't understand why you do what you
6:45
do. Again, it can just compound the issue. So
6:49
I've really come to embrace that when the people
6:55
in my life started to distance, whether it was
6:59
initiated by me or whether, you know, that's
7:03
just how things unfolded, I could see that this
7:07
was more about my nervous system, right? This
7:11
was more about me prioritizing my sense of calmness
7:17
and safety because As sensitive souls, right?
7:23
Like you're thinking about things more deeply
7:25
and you're also feeling the effects of exchanges
7:30
and experiences and what others say or do and
7:34
what life is just bringing to you. So it's really
7:40
important to see that there's nothing wrong with
7:45
choosing. or allowing life to guide you in a
7:50
direction that creates more space, more space
7:55
for you to relax, more space for you to connect
7:59
with your own mind and body and soul, you know,
8:03
to really hear that communication. Because again,
8:09
our nervous systems are more finely tuned for
8:13
a reason, you know, and we experience overwhelm
8:17
sooner than those who don't have this trait.
8:21
I mean, that's a sensory intelligence that we
8:26
can tune into and really develop when we understand
8:29
it, right? So it's not... You know, believe me,
8:35
you know, when I'm working one -on -one or in
8:38
groups with women, I'm the first one to say like,
8:42
I've been there, I've lived it. I'm not speaking
8:45
from, you know, the things that I've learned
8:48
through studies or others or research, right?
8:52
Like I reference those because it helps me make
8:56
sense. of my own lived experience, but there's
8:59
no judgment coming from me because I've been
9:03
there. I've lived life. I mean, if you've listened
9:07
to any of my other episodes, you've probably
9:09
heard me say I was pretty high strung and I didn't
9:13
think I would ever change. I actually didn't
9:16
believe I could. So I really am speaking to the
9:21
heart of sensitive souls so that you know you're
9:24
not alone. And there's nothing wrong with you.
9:28
Whatever age or stage you're going through, you
9:32
know, it's for your evolution as a very unique
9:36
individual. Right? I mean, we need to know ourself.
9:44
And through that process is how we heal ourself
9:47
because we learn to recognize patterns. We learn
9:51
to recognize the different voices, you know,
9:55
in our landscape and begin to realize some of
10:01
it is patterns that our ancestors, you know,
10:06
passed down to us. Some of it is just unresolved.
10:13
trauma, and you know, there's many, many places
10:18
that that can come from. But today, I really
10:22
want to stay focused on honoring your unique
10:27
feelings, sensations, and experiences. Because
10:33
I know in both my personal and professional life,
10:37
grieving, and anticipatory sorrow has been pretty
10:45
active and has sensitive souls. Again, when you
10:53
love so fiercely, it hurts really deeply. When
10:58
someone you love, you know, is going through
11:03
their own difficult stages, when someone you
11:07
love has transitioned, you know, out of this
11:11
physical world. Or when someone you love, you're
11:16
anticipating that that transition is coming soon.
11:21
And it's really important to know that those
11:27
deep feelings are about devotion. You know, it
11:31
speaks to how deeply you love, how deeply you
11:37
care. How connection is so important to you.
11:42
And it's something to allow yourself to be with.
11:52
It's not something that we want to push to the
11:55
side or rush through or escape from. You know,
12:00
so if you happen to be... One who is experiencing
12:05
grief at this time. And sometimes it's this time
12:10
of year as well, right? Like we're reminded of
12:14
family gatherings where those we love may not
12:18
be here anymore with us physically or with us,
12:22
you know, on this physical plane. And those are
12:28
raw and real feelings and they're valid and they're
12:32
so important to be with, you know, to allow yourself
12:38
to soften into those places. And, you know, if
12:42
emotion arises to, to let the emotions come,
12:46
to let yourself feel what you're feeling. to
12:51
honor it because it's all valid and it's all
12:54
true for you. And no one else knows what it's
12:59
like for you. And, and I know what it's like
13:05
to also be surrounded by people who do love you,
13:09
but may not know how to meet you where you are
13:13
because they are just having a different experience.
13:17
And that can be because um, of so many different
13:22
reasons, right? So I definitely appreciate, you
13:27
know, those who love us and show up for us and
13:31
support us in the best ways that they know how.
13:36
And it's still okay to feel like you're not sure
13:41
they really get you and get what you're fully
13:45
experiencing. And, and that's, that's part of
13:48
being human. right? We want to support each other
13:53
the best way we know how. And so for some people,
13:57
it's just not as precise per se. And that's okay,
14:06
right? The point is, is you're allowing yourself
14:11
to feel your feelings. You're allowing yourself
14:13
to express. your thoughts and feelings and emotions
14:17
with someone who does care about you. And this
14:22
is where discernment is really key. And this
14:26
is something that most of us learn to develop
14:29
in different stages. When we're younger, we may
14:38
decide that others aren't safe to share. And
14:42
then we keep things bottled up because we don't
14:45
feel like we're going to be understood or there's
14:48
self -judgment, right? But as we get older, we
14:52
do tend to say, I'm not going to share my thoughts
14:56
and feelings with that individual because maybe
15:00
they don't have the capacity to hold that space
15:04
for you. Not because they don't care about you
15:07
or love you, but because they just don't have
15:10
that bandwidth. Because that's something that
15:14
we do develop, you know. But I'm speaking to
15:20
you for you to honor you. And if it doesn't feel
15:24
safe to share, you know, your thoughts and feelings
15:28
with those around you, know that... Being with
15:34
yourself, right? Talking about it out loud allows
15:39
your nervous system to relax a little bit, your
15:45
breathing to deepen a little bit, and for you
15:48
to soften a little bit and allow those tears
15:51
to flow. You know, that's the most important
15:57
part that I've really come across on my own journey.
16:05
of awakening as a sensitive soul is, you know,
16:11
we've carried so much within us that is unprocessed.
16:16
And we don't need to wait for there to be somebody
16:20
else who can hold that space for us. You know,
16:25
that's where journaling is really helpful. You
16:28
know, grabbing a notepad or just a piece of paper.
16:32
And just allowing yourself to write. You know,
16:37
there's great power in our handwriting over typing.
16:42
There's great power in our voice. So some people,
16:46
you know, will pick up a recorder on their phone
16:50
and just start talking to that. That gives them
16:53
that more sense of like there's something listening,
16:55
you know. Others don't feel like they need to
16:58
record it and will just talk their feelings out
17:01
loud in, again, their own private space. But
17:06
I really want to encourage you to be with what
17:08
you're feeling, to speak out loud what needs
17:12
to be expressed. And again, writing is very powerful
17:19
as well. For the flow, right, of what's coming
17:26
up for you. It allows you to move it out instead
17:30
of it spinning within. And that's really important.
17:39
I just want to take a moment to pause, you know,
17:43
to just remind us all. This is not the time to
17:50
be pushing through. Right? Like this is the time
17:55
to honor what's real and raw for you. And this
18:00
is the time to connect with your own inner strength.
18:10
And again, when there's people in our lives who
18:14
love us and support us and we're ready to share.
18:18
You know, that's beautiful too. We certainly
18:21
want to, again, be discerning about who we can
18:27
feel safe enough to share with and do that. But
18:34
again, if you haven't yet found those individuals
18:38
or, you know, one is beautiful too, but you haven't
18:44
yet found that connection in a relationship where
18:49
you can share you know take care of you tune
18:54
into you allow yourself to feel and heal and
19:02
again grieving is it's not like you know it's
19:06
one hour one day because each of these experiences
19:11
are so unique you know about what we may be grieving
19:16
There's just countless reasons. Some of us grieve
19:24
an old life that we had with people in a certain
19:29
way. Some are grieving, again, the death of someone
19:36
they love very much from this physical world.
19:43
Even in that, you know, everybody has their unique
19:46
experience and perspective and understanding
19:51
about what death means. And that's also a very
19:58
tender place as sensitive souls. You know, I
20:03
know before my whole spiritual awakening in 2008,
20:08
I didn't know what death meant. I just know at
20:14
19, I was completely shocked when my brother
20:21
was in a motor vehicle accident that did take
20:27
his life. And that just sent me to the depths
20:34
of pain I didn't know I would recover from. My
20:44
parents, who I still don't know how they get
20:49
through every day, but I see their love and their
20:57
strength and their resiliency. And I remember
21:02
actually a day before I became a mom saying,
21:05
I don't think I could ever be a mom because I
21:09
know how painful it was. to lose my brother.
21:16
I cannot imagine the pain of losing a child.
21:21
And my mother said something to me that has always
21:25
stuck. You know, she just said that she was grateful
21:32
that she had 23 years with him, that she preferred
21:36
that over not having had him in her life. And
21:42
that was just really profound you know my mom
21:47
chose love and presence you know and that helped
21:56
me immensely um but again some of us you know
22:03
haven't experienced death um you know Some people
22:08
are adults and they haven't had anybody really
22:11
close to them, you know, die or experience some
22:18
really deep grieving, you know, when that happens.
22:22
And so, again, I just really wanted to speak
22:25
today to all of you who are feeling sorrow, are
22:32
experiencing grief. You know, heartache is real.
22:37
It's, it's real and it speaks to how deeply we
22:41
love, how deeply we care, how connected we feel
22:45
to others. You know, and sometimes people don't
22:51
know how much of an impact they've had on our
22:58
lives. You know, I personally, you know, I'm
23:03
going through something as well and This, you
23:12
know, she's really an angel who came into my
23:17
life at the perfect right time and supported
23:20
me in the ways that I absolutely needed. And,
23:27
you know, I just want to honor all the people
23:33
in our lives who have meant so much to us you
23:38
know and it doesn't matter whether they were
23:42
people who were in our lives for a very short
23:45
amount of time or in our lives for a very long
23:48
amount of time it's not about the length the
23:51
the duration right like it's about how much of
23:58
an impact they have had on our lives you know
24:05
so I definitely want to honor all of you listening
24:09
and all of you who are on this physical plane
24:17
or on the other side, you know, just acknowledging
24:21
that love heals. Love connects us. Love is alive.
24:30
So feel your feelings, you know, feel the sorrow.
24:34
Feel the connection that you appreciate so much
24:38
that you love and that you want to hold on to.
24:44
You know, and I really just want to remind you
24:53
that we can connect with each other through our
24:58
hearts. That's where our memories live in our
25:09
hearts. So let's remember why we're feeling what
25:16
we're feeling if you or someone you care about
25:20
is going through that process right now. It's
25:25
truly such a deep, caring, compassionate heart
25:30
and beautiful soul. So as a reminder, we are
25:42
here together to rise, reclaim, remember. Where
25:50
the heart leads, the body remembers, and the
25:55
soul awakens. And before we part, I invite you
26:02
to take just one gentle breath with me. I invite
26:08
you to place a hand on your heart and inhale
26:13
through your nose and just really breathe love
26:17
back into yourself. And I know I say one is always
26:26
better than none, but three for me is just really
26:32
that magical place of connection. So I encourage
26:38
you to continue if you so feel called to. And
26:43
if you're ready to rise out of old conditioning
26:47
and return to your own rhythm, you're always
26:52
welcome to walk with me. You can listen here,
26:56
join the Rise and Realign Lunar Letter, or explore
27:01
deeper support through the Realign journey. You'll
27:05
find everything at realignwithmelissa .com slash
27:11
links. So take good care of you. Much love and
27:17
light.