Latest / Pathological Positivity / Are Wealth and Money the Same Thing? Episode #673
Transcript
- This is Live On Purpose Radio, episode 673. Are wealth and money the same thing? Now is the only time to create and live the life you love. I'm doctor Paul Jenkins, the positivity psychologist. My job is to connect you to powerful positive psychology principles that immediately upgrade your relationships, business, and mental health. Are you ready? Let's jump in. Hello, everybody. Welcome back to Live On Purpose Radio. This is doctor Paul, the shrink who expands your life. You know, most people chase money thinking it's the key to wealth. But what if true wealth is something entirely different? In this episode, we're going to explore the two kinds of money, the surprising difference between wants and needs and why the freedom we're after may already be closer than we think. Discover how creating wealth leads to money, not the other way around, And how to live more fully on purpose by focusing on what truly matters. Are you ready? Let's jump in. This is something that has been on my mind a lot because I am reading now the second time through, 10 x is easier than two x by doctor Ben Hardy and Dan Sullivan. And just a little context around that, I joined Dan Sullivan's strategic coach program decades ago, like two decades ago. And that was at a different point in my career. And I'm realizing as I'm reading this book again and I say reading, I'm actually listening to it. I would encourage you to do the same. In fact, I'll put a link in the show notes for you to get the audible version of that because Ben and Dan do a little interview at each chapter break and it really enriches the conversation. But it's bringing a lot of things back to my awareness. And I'm looking back on my experience and realizing something. I have done the 10 x leap. I think I'm about to do another one. In fact, that's my intention, and that's why I'm so engaged in this book right now. Let's get back to today's topic. Is wealth the same as money? Most people treat them as interchangeable, but what if they're not? So money is often a means. Wealth is having what we actually want. So when we shift how we think about wealth, we begin to see why money follows wealth and not the other way around. So let's break this down first by looking at two kinds of money and only one is true wealth. So this is something I got from a previous financial advisor of mine. His name is Les McGuire and Les passed away shortly after he taught me this almost like he came to the planet to call my attention to this. And I know it's not about me, but the profound things that he taught me in a short period of time have resonated with me ever since. And this is one of them. He said, you know, Doctor. Paul, there are two kinds of people on this planet and there are two kinds of money. Yeah. First of all, I'm a psychologist. Two kinds of people? I'm interested. Tell me. And he said, there are those you know and those you don't. I think that pretty much covers everybody. Right? I have since revised what Les suggested there by defining seven key relationships. And if you're familiar with the seven, it's your creator, yourself, your spouse, your children, your extended family, other people, and things that's seven. And when you list them on your hands, you can cover five on one hand and then you have to switch to the other hand for two more fingers. And that's very handy because the first five are what Les was talking about your creator, yourself, your spouse, your children, and your family. That's on the first and the first five, and then the second five or the second two are other people and things. So the to summarize what less there's two kinds of people. There are those, you know, in other words, those on your firsthand, those in your inner circle, those that you're really close to. And there are everybody else. Right? Those you don't know. And that for me is represented by key relationship number six, other people. Now we'll come back to that in just a minute because relationship number seven is things including money. So let's go back to... Okay. There's two kinds of people. There's two kinds of money. There's the kind that is immediately valuable to you. It has intrinsic wealth. Alright. Meaning it's what you actually want to have. That's money. So for example, when I come home from a long day at the office or I'm returning home from speaking at an event in another state and I greet Vicki and she throws her arms around me, gives me a big old hug and a little smooch on the lips. And she says, Hi, honey. I missed you. I'm so glad you're home. Money. That's what I want. I want that closeness. I want that feeling. And it happens to me sometimes on the basketball court, more often than for a lot of guys my age because I've actually developed some pretty sweet skills out there. And let's say that I pull up from the three point line, and I release that cowhide globe with a mild arc and a gentle push, and the cowhide globe hits home. That's a line from Hot Rod Hunt that you used to call the games for the for the jazz. My favorite team. Swoosh. Money. The feeling that you get when you get what you want. Money. Okay. That's the first kind of money. What's the second kind of money? Well, it's the kind we usually talk about. It's the kind we have to trade or exchange to get what we want. And most people, when we talk about money, we're talking about that second kind. So U. S. Currency, the dollar, Japanese currency, the yen in the European community, it's the euro. This is the second kind of money, whatever it is that we get to exchange for what we want. And then less pointed out to me, he said, you'd trade the first kind of money with the first kind of people. In other words, you have enriching wealthy experiences with the people that are closest to you. Think about it. If you have a pocket full of currency, is that what you really want? No. The only reason you want it is because it's valuable to trade for something that you're then going to enjoy with the people who are closest to you, the first kind of people. You trade the second kind of money with the second kind of people. Alright. So somebody you don't know at all rushes up to you as you arrive at the airport and says, oh, I'm so glad you're here. And you're like, ew, get away from me. Right? I don't even know you. I don't wanna hug or a smooch on the lips. And I make that distinction because it's not that those people are not important. It's that they're not in your inner circle. You're they're not on your firsthand. They're not in your five key relationships. And so the best way to exchange value with them is using the second kind of money. So I sell books. For example, you can go to my website and order a block. You can buy my book, right, or my course or whatever. And there's people buying my course and even signing into my membership at Live on Purpose Central that I don't even know. I'm creating value for them. They're giving me a hug. No. They're giving me currency. What do I do with that? Keep it and and admire it? No. I go trade it for things that I'm going to enjoy with my family, you know, including having a roof over our head and groceries on our table. Do you see what I'm talking about? Alright. So two kinds of money. Let's get clear about that. Wealth is having the first kind of money. Let me say that again. Wealth is having the first kind of money. In other words, having what we want, what we really want. I'm going to get back to that in the third point that we're going to make today. But let's let's move on from this. Before we depart from this, though, just think about it. If we already have what we want, do we still need money to get it? And the answer is obvious. No. We've already got what we want. And if you have if you have a magic machine that just gives you everything that you want, what would you need money for? You wouldn't. That's my point. So wealth will make that distinction. Wealth is having the first kind of money. It's having exactly what we want. Alright. Now this brings up the second point I wanted to make with you today because there's this classic debate about wants versus needs. And if you join a personal finance course, for example, they usually will cover this point. Let's get clear about what you want and what you need. And there's a morality trap inside of there because the common belief is that it's wrong or selfish to want things that that's what gets people into trouble. So we reframe our wants as needs and then justify them. Let's get clear about what we need. And for this, I'm taking your ride back to parenting one zero one. I do a lot of parent coaching have done through my whole career. We've got a lot of great courses for positive parenting. And one of the things that we cover is the five freebies. The five freebies are things that your kids need, and you may not negotiate these. These are these are givens. These are freebies. You have to provide these for your kids, or you could be found negligent and go to jail or lose custody of your kids. Okay. That's at this level. Here's what they need. Five freebies. You're ready. And they're the same things you need by the way. Okay. Here we go. Number one, love. I put that first. And when I'm teaching parenting courses, that's your job as a parent to love your kids no matter what and even if. All humans need it. We need love. K? To love others and to be loved. So you need love. You need air. K? Newsflash, you can't survive without it. You need air. And it's abundant everywhere around you. Fortunately, that's awesome. You need number three, water. You can go a little longer without water than you can without air. Okay. What do you need next? Food, sustenance, nutrition. Alright. And you can go longer without food than you can go without water. What's the last one? Shelter. And that's more or less important depending on the climate or the environment that you live in. Those are the five freebies. You need love, air, water, food, and shelter, and check it out. You've already got it, Right? You already have what you need. Therefore, everything else is something that you want. Let's not get sucked into that worn out tradition of wanting something being morally wrong. Because what happens is that we reframe what we want as something that we need. Money is a good example. I need money. Do you know you need love, air, water, food, and shelter. Now would money be a useful vehicle or instrument or tool to help you get what you really want or need, what you need first, and then what you want. Yeah. That'd be great, but you don't need money. Let's get clear about this. I know there's going to be a little argument in your head about this. There was in mine for years, and I had to go through a bankruptcy to learn this. Do I need money? Apparently not. I lost it all. Do I have what I need? Yes. And I always have. And so have you. Now are there times when you've got a shelter shortage? Yeah. I know people who are, experiencing homelessness, for example. Right? Do they have shelter? Yes. The people I know who are experiencing homelessness are wearing clothing. That is shelter. Okay. Is it the best shelter? Probably not. Can we do better? Absolutely. Go back and listen to my interview with Jen Spencer a few episodes ago. She was in that place and now she's doing some powerful things to create better shelter for people experiencing homelessness. And it has nothing to do with a structure or building. So let's get clear about we have what we need. Can we upgrade that? Yes. Do we want to? Probably. Is that morally wrong? No. And this is something we get to deal with because that morality trap has us framing what we want as needs, and then we justify them. Now the word justification is interesting. You know, when you're working on your computer in your word processor and you want to create a document that's all nice and smooth on the edges of the text, right? So you justify it. You can right justify. You can left justify. You can center justify where everything is nicely aligned around along the center line. Justification is only necessary when something is crooked. Think about that. If you need to justify something, you believe at some level that it's crooked. And I would just invite you to come to terms with that. I'm I'm doing this myself. K? Because there are things that I want, and I've been trained, taught, and educated to think that, well, there's that there's something morally wrong with wanting something. I need to just focus on what I need. Well, I've already got what I need. Therefore, everything else is something that I want. We need very little. Most of us already have those needs met. You are listening to a podcast. You're hearing my voice magically through some device that you have. Interesting. So you've already got things you want. You've got everything you need. You've probably got a lot of what you want, and it's okay to want more on purpose. So let's get past the old guilt and shame approach to wanting something. Remember, wealth is having what you want. Okay? There's an abundance, and that's how we're going to define wealth. It has nothing to do with money, except that there's a correlation. So let's move on to what do we really want? This is the third point I wanted to make today, and then I'm gonna turn you loose to think about this. What do we really want? I think Dan Sullivan, the founder of the strategic coach, and I told you I joined his program years ago, and I'm really enjoying the books that he is writing with Ben Hardy right now. But, Dan defined this as four freedoms. And freedom might be synonymous with wealth. That's an interesting thing to ponder a little bit, but there are four of those freedom of time, meaning you can spend your time, however you choose freedom of money, which means that you have money to support spending your time, however you choose. In fact, money freedom is just a powerful tool that allows you to enhance the other three freedoms. And I believe that financial freedom, this is another idea that Les McGuire taught me. Financial freedom is when money is no longer the primary reason that you do or do not do anything. Let me say that again. Financial freedom or freedom of money is when money is no longer the primary reason that you do or don't do anything. If you're tracking this closely, what that means is financial freedom is a choice because you get to decide what is the primary reason that I do or don't do anything. But Doctor. Paul, you might be thinking, I actually can't afford to do this thing that I want to do. And my invitation to you would be to switch the narrative. As soon as your brain says, I can't afford, your brain's job is to keep you safe and prove you right. And so as soon as you say, I can't afford it, your brain is going to jump in and say, okay, I'll give you 10, 15 reasons why you're right about that. And you can come up with them, can't you? What if we switch that instead of saying I can't, which turns the power off on your brain, what if we switch that to how can I, How can I afford it? Now we've got the power on. Now your brain is free financially. K? Because you're saying money isn't the primary reason I'm gonna do or not do that. That's just one of the considerations that I get to figure out. That's part of the project. How can I afford it? Alright. A whole different mentality. So, we've covered two of the freedoms, freedom of time, freedom of money. Third is freedom of relationship. And this has to do with going to your key relationships that I summarized for you earlier and feeling a freedom and richness and wealth across all seven. Remember, they are your creator, yourself. Some people skip that one. They forget that it's a relationship and it is, okay. How do you treat yourself? And if I treated you the way you treat you, would we still be friends? Ponder that your spouse, your children, your extended family, other people and things. That's freedom of relationship, and you will find yourself moving toward higher level interactions and connection across all seven. That's freedom of relationships. Now, freedom number four is freedom of purpose. And, you know, I I know this about you because you're listening to Live On Purpose radio. You know that there is a higher purpose for you than what you have fully realized to this point. How are you going to get there? Well, by listening is one of those things. I'm going to give you another resource as we wrap up today. But your freedom of purpose allows you to connect to why you're on the planet in the first place. And a little heads up, it's not about you. It's sure it affects you. Your life gets better as you connect to that purpose. But your purpose also has to do with the ways that you can create value uniquely on this planet that extends beyond you. And when you create value for the second kind of people, you get the second kind of money. And that's where wealth and money intersect. Which of these freedoms do you already enjoy? Time, money, relationship, purpose? The the surprising truth about these is that they are available by choice. And that's why the rich get richer and the poor get poorer, perhaps because they focus on creating and choosing wealth through the four freedoms and then money follows money follows wealth. Don't chase money to get wealth, create wealth, and the money will come. Did you get something that you can use today? I told you that I would give you a resource. The upgrade. I offer membership at Live on Purpose Central, and that is awesome. And you'll get lots of great content there. I'm inviting you to a higher level to become a certified positivity practitioner to take these principles of positivity to a level where you can actually create value for others. And that's part of the wealth generation strategy. You can get to that. There's a link in the description, but you can also just remember liveonpurposeradio.com. That's the name of the podcast liveonpurposeradio.com/practitioner. And that will take you right to the sales page. We have breakthrough events, three day breakthrough events. You get mastermind groups and trainings that help you to create the wealth that we're talking about here. Freedom of time, freedom of money, freedom of relationship and freedom of purpose. How does that sound to you? If you're interested, come check it out. Thank you for listening. Will you please also share this episode with someone that you know would appreciate it and let's go apply it now to live on purpose. Did you get what you came for? Give yourself the gift of taking real action on what you realized today. Please share this episode with someone you know would value it, and leave us a rating too. It's time now to live on purpose.