Latest / TWRS-Leadership Straight, No Chaser / Know Yourself Before You Lead Others

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Know Yourself Before You Lead Others · TWRS-Leadership Straight, No Chaser

• Scott Brandt: If you really don't know who you are as an individual, how do you go about leading others when you don't know your true self? Welcome back to Together We Are Stronger, Leadership Straight, No Chasers. And tonight we have Arky Jones on with us. And Arky, looking at kind of your intrigue with the the science behind human interactions, interacting with humans, what was it that really prodded you into let me dive into the science of how we interact with humans and then what is it that a lot of people are missing out when it comes to the science of dealing with humans? George R Dovolis: Mmm. Arky Jones: So firstly, I think that let's just let's just say this. Like before the early 1830s, there was a guy called Voot, and ⁓ he short shortly identified it wasn't a philosophy, it was a science. So let's there is science, but it's it's definitely not a settled science. Let's be absolutely clear on that. Humanity is is ever evolving. So in terms of the personality, in terms of the self, it is something that is It is a journey that is both universal. So every single human experiences it, but it is also incredibly individual. And so what what I like to do is firstly I like to pull things out a little bit just into into the broader scope, just to show just quite how ⁓ magnificent the the the the the personality is. So firstly, let's ex if we just for the argument's sake of this podcast, let's accept the Big Bang exists, okay? So before the Big Bang. There was infinite potential. Infinite potential exists before the beginning. And then everything came from that. And then after the Big Bang, stuff happened. I don't know what. But light came. And light shined on about 3% of the universe. 97% of it is dark matter. And that light shined on us. And so for me, personality is one of two things. It is things we can shine a light on and see. George R Dovolis: Okay. Arky Jones: And it is things that we kind of know ⁓ deeply. And I believe there is an inherent knowledge there from the universe, from our fellow peers, and from human lineage. And I I also think that it is environmental. So we are we are not it is not beyond our control, but there are influences there that are beyond that are not truly within our comprehension. But the stuff within our control is things like where you were born, the opportunities you were given, how you were raised, and then how you've interfaced with the world. So How how I would see personality just to establish the baseline is I separate it from the soul or or the the true core, the the essence of a human and put it into how we interface with the fur with the world that is being influenced by the aforementioned ⁓ the aforementioned things. And and obviously the one we can truly control is is the environment, the world and and how we choose to see it. George R Dovolis: Hmm Scott Brandt: It's a very interesting thing because I've always shared I'm like, if you don't like what's going on, if you don't like the growth that's taking place for yourself, look at where you're at, pick yourself up and move yourself. But it's interesting how a lot of people want to blame things outside of them. And it's like the only thing you can control is yourself. George R Dovolis: So. Scott Brandt: But for whatever reason, we have this fascination of let's not focus on ourselves and what we can control and try to find external circumstances that we can say, okay, here it is, this is what I need to change, but I have no control over that. And I find it's a very interesting thing when you look at humans in general about how instead of looking inward, they're always looking externally, trying to find something that they have no control over, but they think they do. And so it's just it it fascinates it fascinates me because. George R Dovolis: Mmm. Scott Brandt: Because we have leaders that are like trying to put people in a box and not understanding that everybody's different and so you've really gotta do the deep dive to get to know people differently and not stick ⁓ in a box and then really put the screws to them because we're all unique, we're all different. George R Dovolis: Mmm. Arky Jones: So let me just be let me be very clear here that one way to control is through external validation of self. And so from birth, we have been told over and over and over again, you need this to be happy, you need to do that to be happy, this is the way, this is how to think, this is how to consume. And so what they want to do is they want to lock you in a he said, she said. They said, because in doing so, it maintains a lack of self-ownership and authorship. And if you lack that, therefore you can be controlled. And so what that leads to is one of two things. One is, of course, the word itself control, ⁓ steering attention, which I believe is one of the most valuable universe valuable resources in the universe, attention. And two, is it George R Dovolis: Mm-hmm. Arky Jones: pushes you towards seeking external validation through things. And so what things are are like a new car, a bigger house if you already live in a safe neighborhood, a shiny new jacket on store credit. Things that make you a peacock in in a world where you're already far beyond a peacock, you're powerful beyond your imagination, but they want you to be a peacock. And the idea that that keeps you consuming. And so George R Dovolis: you Arky Jones: What I'm trying to say, ⁓ guys, is that the the the what you said, Scott, is 100% in my belief ⁓ valid and true, but I don't necessarily believe it's individuals' fault, and we'll get into what we can do later. But I just want to establish the baseline that they've been told from birth that this is the way, and the reason it is is it is marketing and and brainwashing and control. And in doing so, it forces consumption. What consumption does is it forces People to take debt. Let's establish for working people, money represents stored time. What it does is it makes you consume more than you you have and then puts you into debt, which puts you into the cycle of consumerism. And then you have to keep working to keep paying for things. But let's face it, one day after you've got the shiny new thing, you're straight away thinking, what's the next thing? And that is how, and this is, I use this metaphorically, but that is how the devil fools you. Scott Brandt: Hmm. It it it really i it it's one of those that when you look at leaders, like and the biggest thing that ⁓ me and George I I always get on this is like people are like, This is the only way. And so like this is how you do this, this is how you think, this is how you need to interact. And I'm like, there are so many variables out here that George R Dovolis: Exactly. Exactly. Mmm. Scott Brandt: We can't control. And so what worked for you as an individual may not work for somebody else, but it's the fact like the ingraining of this is how you need to think, this is how you need to act, this is how you need to go speak really puts you in a bind because then by not showing up as your true authentic self, you miss out on really getting to a different level when you interact with people. And I just I I'm like, if you have somebody that's like this is the only way to do it, I'm like, you gotta turn and run as quickly as possible because at the end of the day they're they're trying to sell something but they're gonna get you stuck because if you don't understand that there's so many variables and you can't control them all There's not a one way fits all everything. Arky Jones: So in terms of in terms of external validation, we are creatures of of tribes. We are people who need each other. And where external validation was useful is let's say, Scott, that you were a hunter, George was the fire maker and and controller of the fire, and I was the gatherer, so I would get the berries, okay. And and in in that each one of us had a role. But me as the berry guy would see things because I'm at the camp all the time on the outskirts on the peripheries. George is right in the center, maintaining the fire, and you're out hunting wild beasts and dragging them back in. Each has a role. And and and in that village, without without that codependency, without that cooperation, we would all perish in the olden days. And so what I'm trying to say is that external validation does have a role, but unfortunately, it is beyond your control that external validation. And so we've been we've been almost tricked into that that is someone else can tell you who you are. And the truth is, as soon as you outsource ownership of self, then you you lose control. Because in doing so, no one can ever tell you who you are, because your your self is not fixed. And what you mentioned about the box earlier is absolutely critical because yourself is not fixed. And in knowing that, there is a saying called memento more. Remember, you will die. And so therefore we are born, we have a journey, and then we move on. And so the the only thing that truly exists is any given moment. And and it's in those moments where we put our attention is the direction we will go in. But it is up to us to own the moments and where we put our attention. Because if we don't, then you're you're actually a passenger in your own life. George R Dovolis: Hmm. Wow, that is that is extremely deep. mean, you take a look at things and personalities wise, what is the one thing most people misunderstood about personality, their selves and others? Arky Jones: Yeah, no, absolutely. So one of the key things that people definitely misunderstand, and it's actually again, this is sold to them. Like this is you. This test is you. Now, let's actually take a step back because I would argue that life is a game, but it is a game for keeps. We play for keeps. The consequences are real. But one of the best things in life is play. George R Dovolis: Mm. Arky Jones: And so if someone can tell you that they can tell you who they are, you outsource ownership once again and you take the test and you're like, okay, that's me. It's not you. It is you at a moment of time. And I've used this analogy before, but I'll use it again. When we look in the mirror, we might ⁓ you know, put moisturizer on, we might trim our beards, we might make sure our nose hair isn't too long, we might ⁓ put makeup on, but we only see ourselves at that moment in the mirror. George R Dovolis: Mmm. Arky Jones: When we walk away, we might eat some ⁓ sandwich with lettuce on and get lettuce in our teeth. ⁓ you know, our beard might come out of place or her or whatever. I actually don't have much her, but ⁓ it's too too shiny with my lights, so I've got the hat on. But ⁓ you you get the joke, guys. ⁓ and but in the mirror at that time, it's that moment in time. And that is where I feel if people could just take personality as we've acknowledged already that we're already beyond our full comprehension in in history. George R Dovolis: Yeah. Arky Jones: We ha we have a lineage that is genetic components inherited from our worldly forefathers from the from from the beginning of from the beginning of the humans. And we have things we can and we can control in our life. So looking at that na that focus is where you put your attention and understanding that the personality is you based on the sum of all knowledge, the totality of all knowledge that you've acquired up until this moment. But The future is not yet written and the past has already happened. And so therefore, at any given moment, you can focus your attention. You can look at who you are. You can try to shine a light on the blind spots. And then you can try to change things that are of consequence to you. And and and so I've I've talked around it, but in answer to question, a personality test, in my opinion. George R Dovolis: Mm. Arky Jones: should only ever, ever give you a very, very narrow window of that moment of where you are right now. And you should not allow it to ever define you. Scott Brandt: Mm-hmm. So yeah, one of our ⁓ power partners that we have want to highlight them ADP. As a business owner, you didn't get into do the back end stuff, so being stuck in what doesn't fulfill you, what doesn't drive you. So if you're struggling with HR, payroll, compliance, George R Dovolis: Wow. you Scott Brandt: ADP is here to work with you to help you out on that back end so that way you can focus on your zone of genius, get where you really are strong in, and then hand that off to somebody that can compliment your weakness. If you want, ⁓ that'll be in the show notes, you can reach out and have a conversation with them. And it is a very interesting thing, Arky, when you look at personality exams, tests. There's so many out there. And when people will take ⁓ and then things switch like you had highlighted, it's not end all be all. But the thing is there are times that people can game the exam, the test, to try to give them what they want out of it. And so for that, how what would you suggest for individuals to really not game the situation, especially because if you're trying to gather some information here to really help you out with a certain situation going on, what would that be to keep it from them gaming the system to not to give them inaccurate information? Arky Jones: So I'll with this is this is not a shameless self plug. With with the test I developed, I deliberately made it that you select the exact percentage that you believe at that moment in time. And so so the key is that you believe. And so now I will answer the question. So in doing so, when when you game a system, when you game anything, the thing what you're doing is you are not asking the questions. Once the music has stopped. You are not asking the questions in the dead of the night when nobody else is watching, when you can't lie. You're not being you are not going to fool your subconscious. You're not going to fool the systems that make you tick. The reason you won't is because there's one person you cannot lie to, and it is yourself. So you can game away. You can make The story say whatever it wants, but it is not real to you. And so if we want to live in Neverland, then Neverland awaits. But the problem with Neverland is the boys never grow up. Hence, they're not fully living. And in order to fully live, you must examine the self. And in examining the self, you must be willing to look where the light doesn't shine and shine a light. Because if you don't, the Only one who loses is you, nobody else. George R Dovolis: Man, know, listening to you and understanding when you look in the mirror and all this stuff, I talk about it, you know, what beyond the appearance and finding out who you really are. And this is something that I'm listening to. And I came up a question is this the difference between understanding yourself. and limiting yourself. A lot of people try to figure out what is that understanding? What's the difference between the two? Arky Jones: So We must we must accept there are truths. And one of those truths is that no matter how much I want to fly, I cannot fly myself. I I I need a vehicle to do so. and I and I can only fall if I was to, you know, ⁓ n let's not even say it, but you you you can imagine. So so therefore that our bodies have limitations. Our minds I do I believe do not. I believe our minds are of of Power that is so unimaginable that everything in creation is is ⁓ is a gift from the universe, but also is from our minds. So, but the body has limitations. And so, in knowing that that we are limited, the question becomes more: how do we maximally operate within human limitations? And and this is something that each individual When they're asking the questions along the lines of how do I grow and how do I stop being limited, firstly, firstly, we must accept what we cannot control. So for example, if I've got, if I, if I'm if I'm blind, I cannot see. If if I'm deaf, I cannot hear. And what that means is that, but what can you do? And then look at the things you can control. Look at the things that bring you maximal. Genuine benefit, and then ask yourself if I put my attention to this, can I make my life my life one percent better? And and if the answer is yes, if it will make your life one percent better, then that is that is compoundable over time. If you look at it and you say to yourself, Will this make my life worse? But it's a hell of a lot of fun. That's a dice you've got to roll. I'm not promoting that. I'm just saying, you know, like you you you want to go, you wanna play darts and beer and poker with your mates and get absolutely shedded. This is a dice you have to roll. It doesn't mean it's wrong, but it it it is its eyes wide open. So what I try to do is I try to make a move where at the end of the week, I'm at least one percent better than the start of the week than I was at the beginning. And the idea is that the debt George R Dovolis: Mmm, yes. Yeah. Arky Jones: Is to myself because I I'll I can talk about external debt if need be, but for me, internal debt is a way of showing gratitude and respect to your deepest self. And if you leave yourself better by just one percent per week, then you're doing the right thing. Because we are fallible, we are made with free will, and in that free will gives you the right to make bad decisions. But you want your total debt to equal a net positive. And in that way, you are servicing yourself. And in that way, a rising tide raises all ships. So if you get better by one percent, your environment will get it by one percent. And of course, aim higher, but I'm I'm just I'm just trying to be be be human, really, with it. George R Dovolis: Mm. Scott Brandt: Yep. So right now if you're getting nuggets from the episode, hit the like button. If you're looking for these types of videos, hit the subscribe button. And really, like Arky's highlighting here, it's it's really gotta just look inward and you gotta ask yourself the questions. And like he's highlighted, there's nothing wrong. There's not no wrong choices. It's just what you decide to do is going to ⁓ compound and feed into those future things when they show up. George R Dovolis: Ooh. Ow. Scott Brandt: And so you just gotta ask yourself what is it that you want going forward? And so when you had highlighted the debt situation, it is a very interesting thing about how right now it's that sacrifice, but when you look at your future self, what is your future self gonna tell you? when you get there because of the sacrifice that you created, but that duh that you built up that is going to compound and push you forward. And so it is a very interesting aspect where people don't look at it that way. It it's hard for because I know you had highlighted the power of stoicism. And there's a lot of people that really get it confused with what the Stoics speak on and what they share. And then they wonder why they're stuck because they're interpreting it differently. And then like you talked about the words that you're using. You just have to be mindful about the words that you're using because that also impacts what you do, the actions that you take, which then results in the results that you receive. George R Dovolis: Exactly. Arky Jones: So the in in any like in in any given moment, in any given moment, you could burn your entire life down with with your words. And words have real meaning. Now thoughts, understand this guys, that you will think ten thousand, one hundred thousand thoughts a day. George R Dovolis: You Arky Jones: And if you acted on all of them, you'd already be in jail. All of us would be, or we'd be, you know, we'd we'd be in a wall in the car or or just in the basement rocking back and forward, wishing the day would end. So, so we we we don't manifest those thoughts into reality. But if you are mindful with your words, the spoken word, then that does manifest. And understanding that in mindfulness about your word choices. George R Dovolis: ha ha Arky Jones: in in selectivity and in understanding your thoughts and like a like a letter, you might read it, you might not, but once it's open, it manifests. Your words have meaning. Act like that. And if you act like your words have meaning, you will only say things that are meaningful. And therefore you will free yourself because you have controlled and commanded something that is almost beyond ⁓ our our full understanding, which is these these y you know what I mean, guys. It yeah, yeah. George R Dovolis: Yeah, I know exactly what you mean. And the one thing that I would love to know is when two people hear the same words, same exact words, why do they react differently and completely differently when they hear the same words? Arky Jones: Okay, look, I've ac I I've actually just got a a s a story to share you. And i it it's something that I I I'd be very interested in in your opinion on this, okay? But ⁓ anyone that's let's say worked in a office or let's say in the military or anywhere where there is a power imbalance, where there is a fixed hierarchy, and there is a there is a boss and there is a worker. Okay. So let's just let's just make a silly example here. George R Dovolis: Okay. Arky Jones: So I I I say to I say to George, George, ⁓ I George has asked me to laminate, ⁓ print and laminate cards, you know, to distribute around the office. ⁓ lamination obviously for hygiene, printing obviously we need we need the written word. So so I'm I'm laminating and and and then and then and then Scott comes in, he's the owner of the business, and me, and Scott's got five or six people around him, some maybe some young ladies, some young men, you know, he's feeling like he's the boss, you know, I'm in charge. And George R Dovolis: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Arky Jones: And I say and I say to Scott, let's say I'm twenty two years old and it's a genuine inquiry. ⁓ Scott, what ⁓ is is there a is there a printer that ⁓ is there a machine that ⁓ laminates and prints at the same time? Because ⁓ I I I don't say this to Scott, but in my mind it's like each print takes three minutes, lamination takes five minutes. If it was done at the same time, five minutes total job because print laminate, or maybe six minutes. We save three minutes per print. Anyway, it's it's a genuine inquiry. And Scott George R Dovolis: Yeah. Mm-hmm. Arky Jones: Kind of does that look around the room and quick little smirk on his face and he says, Yeah, you. That's what you're doing. You know, I you y you get it. Now, now, there's three ways I can take that. Now my now, and this is guys, this is the joke part, okay. This is the joke part, but the the thought in the head would be, Scott would look great without teeth. Do you know what I mean? That would be the thought in the head, but that's not the real life, because then you go to jail for ten years. So, so so George R Dovolis: Yeah. Yeah. Arky Jones: So so in there's it's there's three possible things that you can do. Is one is I could feel schmited, I could feel struck down because there's a power imbalance, I can't push back. ⁓ I I I I I and I know what he's doing, and he knows that I know what he's doing, and everyone else knows, but because he's the boss, he's got power, he's done that to make himself feel better. I could take it that way. Or I could understand that I need this employment, it's beyond my control, and he has George R Dovolis: Now! Mm-hmm. Arky Jones: in a way answered my question. So I now know we don't have that machine. So therefore my my eight minutes today or nine minutes, whatever the maths was, ⁓ is is needed to do this lamination and and distribution. So I can accept that as fact or I can go somewhere in between and be like, operating system upgraded. This guy is a total tool and ⁓ I shall no longer ask questions unless it's absolutely necessary to maintain my employment. George R Dovolis: Hmm. Arky Jones: So, so that's three different ways of seeing exactly the same situation. I and I am not here to say which way is right, but let me tell you this: the one where I don't react and I take ownership of the only thing that I can take ownership of, which for me would be option three, is the one that leads me to better outcomes in the future because I've been willing to upgrade based on information. And also, let's face it, everybody knows that the boss is a George R Dovolis: Hmm. Yeah. I think if it was, ⁓ maybe 10 years ago, he'd be missing teeth and that'd be me. Right. It's just, it's something that it's so funny how, how bosses and personalities clash and the personality of entitlement, because I'm the boss and on this, it really puts people in perspective. You know what? This guy is a Scott Brandt: Mm-hmm. George R Dovolis: you know, whatever you want to call it. This guy is not nice, not kind, but also it has that ripple effect throughout the whole office, right? And so when you have someone who's understanding and you're working with them, it changes your mindset. And it is so strange that you brought that up because I seen that I've been around that and it's like, what? You're not the owner of the story. You're just the GM of the story. You know, you don't So a lot of times it goes through the brain, the personality has this cockiness about them and they treat people with porness. And you're right, people have options. And you know, sometimes people will take option three and just keep going, doing their own thing. That's a great analogy. I love it. Thank you. Arky Jones: Yeah, it was ⁓ it's just something that I understand even even I've researched personality for decades and ⁓ I've written books before I I I I did this entire project, but I understand that even in spite of all this, and even though I fully accept it as beyond my control, there is something gluttural about it where you feel and you know. I I and that is I actually think that is a human survival thing. I think it's deep. George R Dovolis: Now. Mmm. Yeah. Arky Jones: I think it's old brain. I think it's lower brain. But the thing is that knowing it and seeing it comes back to what I was saying before, is you can then shine a light on it. Light only makes up 3% of the universe. 97% is dark matter. So where you shine that light, you know. And in knowing, there is power. And that is where you can take control. You can divine thyself through where you put your attention and what you take control of and let go what you can't. And and ultimately, if it was insurmountable, it is up to you to find a new a a a new job. And I I don't mean that badly. I'm not I'm not saying that casually. I'm saying no one is gonna do that for you either. In that in that in that narrow set of circumstances. George R Dovolis: No. You can only control your inputs. yeah, you're right. Actually, right on target on that one. Scott Brandt: Mm. Mm-hmm. So I wanna highlight another partner of ours, Dr. Joey. And if you're a business owner that you're stuck between half a million and three million in revenue and you just don't know what to do, you're trying to overcome and everything you try is just lean back to not overcoming. Or you have a team that's struggling and really need to exert and get better so that way you can increase revenue, reach out to Dr. Joey. That is his zone of genius, really helping business owners' teams Expand what they're able to do, overcome and build out the business and end up ⁓ impacting the clients that they work at a deeper level. So that will be in the show notes if you want to take the time have a talk with Dr. Joey. And so Argie, when you look at individuals, what is it that they truly miss out on when it comes to a deeper level of self-awareness? Arky Jones: So firstly, let me just give a little story. Okay. So one of my superpowers is pattern recognition, rapid pattern recognition. And I actually didn't realise this until very recently. It was in the latter part of my studies that that superpower was actually a vulnerability as well. Because I would often solve problems very rapidly in a room. George R Dovolis: Hmm. Arky Jones: And then basically assert that my solution was it's the quickest, it's the most efficient, and this is the way it's going to be done. What I've done is step back from that and allowed other people that think differently, a little bit slower. And I now try to be the last person to speak in a room. And it has done absolute wonders because I'm able to take more data in, more opinions, and then form a more fully sound. answer, a more fully comprehensive answer based on more data points and more brains. Now the reason I I I'm not trying to talk around the question because I'm going to come back to it, Scott. I just wanted to give some some that that in every person, even perse people who refuse to recognize their patterns, that they all have inherent worth, a deep inherent worth and value to add to this world. And and without diversity, without the tapestry of humanity that is woven, our our lives will be incredibly duller. If we were all the same. So I just want to say that absolutely at the beginning. However, of course, any individual who is is stuck in patterns, who is not is is not willing to look is not fully living. And and the reason they're not fully living is that the the we've already established the only thing that you have any semblance of control over is actions and and and words and deeds and doings. And and the way we do that is that we look at what has brought us up to this point. We look at the direction we're in. We focus in any given moment where we want to focus, and then that is the direction we go. If people aren't willing to do that, then unfortunately they are on a roundabout and it is just happening to them. And until they take the exit, they'll never get they'll never get off. Now, that being said, we do have people in our lives as well. And George R Dovolis: Hmm. Arky Jones: There are times, you know, the story of the two footprints in the sand, and then there's a time where there's one footprint as the other person carries. One thing that that that I never liked with that story is as beautiful as it is, I never liked the fact that at the end there wasn't a crossroads with all the different infinite directions you can go in. ⁓ And that is the point you need to stop and think. And any day can be a crossroad for any one of us. I and so each, if you act as if Scott Brandt: Hm. Arky Jones: Each direction you step has consequence. And and guys, I'm not talking about when you're going around the supermarket in in you know you're there for a reason, you are getting your groceries, but I'm talking that at any crossroad that you come at, and that is even a crossroad, like when you go to bed at night and and and everybody's sleeping and you're up with thoughts ruminating in your head. This is a crossroad. If you identify there's something you can do there and then. George R Dovolis: No Arky Jones: Or something that can be action tomorrow, note it down. And if something that can be done there and then do it. But if if you realize through self-reflection, there's absolutely nothing you can do, then utilizing ⁓ brain power on it, utilizing the basically our bodily systems, which is which is finite, is a complete waste of resources. And you have to learn to let it go. It it it's it's it's not Easy, but it's not impossible, but you have to be willing to look. So the answer is when at a crossroads, people must mindfully choose a direction, otherwise someone else will choose it for you. George R Dovolis: Mmm. That is wow, I don't even think about that. I'm writing this down and it really does hit me because so many people don't take the time to look at their patterns, their past, it just go and you know, decisions they make can really have some effect on them down the road financially, personally, and it's so it just made me really think about things. When you meet someone who is stuck, confused, and they're tired of repeating, doing the same thing, what would be the best advice to give them when someone's in that type of, you know, in that dynamic of themselves right now, just kind of figuring out what they want to do. Arky Jones: So first of all, I wanna say to that person, Well done. Very, very well done because you've asked the first question. You know something isn't right deep in the soul. You know in the boots that it doesn't feel right. So firstly well done because a lot of people can go through blind. You might it might be willful blindness, it might be they just don't know anybody, but they're blind. So first you must see George R Dovolis: Hmm. Mmm. Arky Jones: So they've taken the first step, they can see, they can identify their repeating patterns they don't like. Once you've done that, you're already winning. Then what you do is you ask yourself, what is it that is bothering me? So I I'm sorry to like let's be honest, guys, philosophy, unfortunately. Has been repeated for a thousand years. So anything I say now, someone would have said at some point in the time. So I'm gonna have to use it. I'm gonna use an analogy that someone else has said at some point. And the laminated one earlier I came up with this morning before I came on for you guys. So I I hope that's novel. ⁓ but but but let's say let's say that you have a a stack of mail ⁓ sat on sat on the desk unopened. Open it. Let's say you have a dishwasher that is half full with the sink half full. George R Dovolis: Mmm, yeah. was good, that was good, I thought it was true, that was good. Arky Jones: ⁓ rinse the dishes, put them in the dishwasher. So, small things that you can control, take ownership of it at the earliest opportunity. So, you are not to hold back ownership of what you can control at the earliest opportunity. That is step one. Step two is what can I actually do about this action? So you are taking these actions and things are moving, they're moving forwards, and they're moving forwards in a direction that they otherwise wouldn't be. George R Dovolis: Mmm. Arky Jones: If you weren't taking these directions, that then leads to, okay, but I still have this unopened bill for $780 that I only have $380 in the bank and it's due in three days. So then you can ask yourself, okay, so what can I actually do to stop this getting worse? You maybe could make a phone call to the provider or or or or borrow the money from a family or friend. Or th th there's a lot of things you could do, but but it it's taking steps towards that. But one thing that won't make it better is completely ignoring that. George R Dovolis: Mm-hmm. Arky Jones: Now let's forget about money for a moment and talk about anything. So let's say that you've got a phone call you need to make to a friend to apologize. Let's say there was a conversation that could have gone better. Let's say that you deliberately ignored someone yesterday because you were in a bad mood, not because they'd done something wrong. They are all things that you and you alone can rectify. The other thing that is key to this is that I actively will smile to a stranger. I I don't mean like delusionally smile, I just mean a glance and a smile and an acknowledgement. But if they don't smile back, I've all I'm already selfish because I've taken the pleasure in the original smile and controlled what I can control. I will offer someone help to carry something to the car. If they decline, it is no slight to me because George R Dovolis: You Arky Jones: I have already done what I can do to the fullest I can do it. And so, in short, is if you are able to take actionable real-world steps that are improving your life and act selfishly. Because by acting selfishly, in this case, what you're doing is you're being selfish to the self because you're making yourself do something that will bring you benefit. And George R Dovolis: Hmm. Arky Jones: In those small benefits, that's when that's when the game will begin to change. But firstly, you have to understand that it's your actions that lead directly to the next step and your attention is, as I said earlier, is the most priceless resource because where you put that is the direction you will go in. And also understand that you might not always get what you want, but everything that you find out subsequently from that is new information that you can use to then make new new decisions. Whereas If the head just goes into the sand, you'll never you'll never make those decisions or you'll never have the the information available. George R Dovolis: That was powerful. I mean, very well said. I mean, I already have two pages of notes of what you've been saying because it is, for me, man, you. what you're putting out there to completely make sense. And Scott and I talk about this all the time, decisions and breakthroughs and all these different things that people struggle with. I mean, these listeners got to get some nugget cause I know I did and I know Scott's writing around, but you know, I got to ask this last thing for you. know, I, Scott, I know has things, but when that time comes, and the good Lord takes you home. What do you want to leave your legacy? What do you want to leave behind? Arky Jones: So let me just say this firstly. ⁓ I'm not sure that what we're experiencing now is not part of a continual energy that is was never really begun and never really ends. So in terms of what the question you're asking to be clear, George, is what do I want to leave behind in the physical world that we ⁓ drawing while we're in this body? So that's a question that's more George R Dovolis: Yes. Arky Jones: Something I can answer. if if if if my if if anything, what I would like to do is people who know me or know of me stop and think about the actions that they take. And should ever they find themselves struck down by anger, struck down by jealousy, struck down by George R Dovolis: Please. Arky Jones: by emotions that are very human designed to make us survive, but beyond but they are they have lost control to them, they've surrendered the self to them. If nothing else, if they would just stop in that moment and ask why and then correct course based on that, they have already won because they have actually controlled something that is prime primeval, primordial. And ⁓ George R Dovolis: Yeah. Arky Jones: And and so fundamentally my my my my life would be better if people could exert a little tiny bit more self-authorship so they write their own story and self ownership, so they take ownership of themselves. And what that in course would do would lead to a world where where people understand that they will they are not perfect, they will fail. George R Dovolis: you Arky Jones: But in doing so that there is a message. So it's a bit of a long answer, but short version is stop and think. George R Dovolis: That was awesome. Thank you. I'm still writing stuff down. Scott Brandt: So Arky, I know you've talked about a little bit of the test that you have for the personality piece. So if individuals wanted to go deeper with that, where would that be for them to connect with you? Arky Jones: ⁓ thanks, thanks, ⁓ Scott. So guys, ⁓ personalitypeak.com, P-E-E-K. So take a peek at your personality. ⁓ what it does is it will give you a six-dimensional framework ⁓ where you can select as accurately as you can, ⁓ down to the one percent of how you feel at that moment in time. Of course, you you can you can drag it wherever you want and you can make it whatever answer you want, but if you want the if you want George R Dovolis: Hmm. Hmm. Arky Jones: the truth at that moment in time, select it as accurately as you can. And just to be clear, you don't even have to log in to get the results. It is the the the the first stage of results, which are enough to give you insight, ⁓ is is free without logging in. Now if you log in, you can then track that over time. Also this is this still has got no cost point. And then if you want to come deep into the journey, there's books, there's ⁓ there's there's much, much deeper dives and there's ⁓ specifics tailored to like George R Dovolis: and Arky Jones: ⁓ the way you interface with work, the way you interface with with other people. There's also, you know, I there's books on based on your arch types on how you handle humor. And and all of this is aimed not only to highlight your strengths, but to sh let you shine a light on areas and and because knowledge will give you the ability to look. All I ask is an open mind and a willingness to ask. Scott Brandt: That's huge. So the books and all that, that's all on the website too, or does that kinda lead ⁓ to where to go? Arky Jones: Yeah, I've I've got a I've sorry, Scott. ⁓ I've got a few older books. So before all this I wrote a book called Applied Stoicism. I wrote a book called ⁓ Don't Give Two Shits. And then I wrote a a dystopian science fiction novel called The Sydney effect. But this was all like ten, twelve years ago. And then it it it i particularly the stoicism and don't give too s words led to to the decision that I wanted to really, really deep dive into personality because I'd made hundreds of thousands of pages of notes of characters and character development. And what I noticed was there was that the tropes that applied to the characters applied to the people. And so therefore I extrapolated it out and then and then it became what it became many, many, many years later. Scott Brandt: Awesome. Yeah, we'll have them in the show notes so that way if anybody's looking for it, we'll be there for ⁓ and whatnot. So but other than that, like Arky shared here, if you're stuck and you're like, I don't know what to do, you've got to go deep. You've got to look and say, Are you allowing things to control yourself? Or are you stepping in and taking control so that way that you drive to the route you want to go instead of having it driven you somewhere else that you don't want to go? So but other than that, if you're looking for these types of videos, hit the subscribe button. We appreciate George R Dovolis: Mmm. Yes.