Latest / Success Story with Scott Clary / Lessons - The Exact Strategy That Pulled Me Back From Financial Ruin | Luke Lintz - Business Recovery Expert
Transcript
- 0:00In this lessons episode, discover how to manage overwhelming stress during your first business venture.
- 0:05Learn how to build resilience in the face of debt, uncertainty, and pressure.
- 0:08Understand how early life experiences can shape your mindset and uncover healthier ways to cope
- 0:13while staying productive and focused.
- 0:15So what would be the advice for somebody who's going through their first business and is in debt
- 0:32and owes investors money or owes somebody money and they're just trying to figure out,
- 0:36you know, how do I, how do I keep going when I'm dealing with all this bullshit because all this
- 0:42bullshit is normal for entrepreneurs, for anybody who's taken a risk and built something,
- 0:46but for the first time you're going through it is very stressful.
- 0:49So what's the advice for people like how did you go through it? Was it just,
- 0:53because you could have gone two ways, you could have said, I'm never fucking doing this again,
- 0:57your families, they're supportive, but they're probably all like a little bit pissed off.
- 1:01So what do you, what do you suggest to that first time entrepreneur?
- 1:04Yeah, the go in the two ways is very true. It's kind of like with a lot of things.
- 1:10Like for example, if you grow up in a household that's extremely toxic, a lot of the kids grow up
- 1:16two different ways. One, they take those toxic attributes and they bring that into their adult life
- 1:23or the second way is they want to get as far away from that as possible.
- 1:27And so they do everything they can to get as far away. It's usually like very polar opposite.
- 1:32And so like I think that's very similar with going the two ways when you're under extreme
- 1:38amount of stress and entrepreneurship, especially when it's your first business.
- 1:42For me, just when you were asking that question, I was thinking back to the mindset I was in back then.
- 1:48And I remember it being so hard every single day, I would wake up with so much stress on my mind
- 1:56constantly. And what I would do is I would just numb myself out from reality by just going straight
- 2:02to my desk every single day and literally working 14 to 16 hours a day. I wouldn't talk with anybody.
- 2:10I wouldn't say anything if people asked about how the business was going. I wouldn't talk about
- 2:15it because it was just so much pain inside. And so I really just thought that I could work through it.
- 2:22And if I was working constantly, that I would get to a place where I was out of this pain,
- 2:28of this stress. And it's very interesting that me and my brother have constant conversations.
- 2:35Now my brothers, so like because our little brothers are completely part of the business as well.
- 2:40And we actually look back on those times and reminisce on those times. I laugh at them,
- 2:45you know, it's literally in such a good way. It's like wow, like because it's such it's such a
- 2:50perspective shift of being able to have such a low point in your life where now I'm able to,
- 2:58like now I go through hard times still, you can't get away from problems in life. It's not possible.
- 3:03Problems go through every stage of life. And if you go down a street and look at people who are
- 3:10walking down the street, every single person is facing their own problems, whether they're rich,
- 3:14poor, whether they're happily married, every single person has their own problems. And so
- 3:21being able to have that perspective shift of looking back on like what you thought was just,
- 3:26you know, just the worst time of your entire life is pretty, pretty fun.
- 3:31Well, it's good. After he got there, it's not good in there. Do you think that the way you dealt
- 3:40with it is the best way to deal with it? And I don't have an opinion or I don't know what the best
- 3:46way to deal with it is I've never had, oh, my family, $300,000. That to me would be super stressful.
- 3:53I don't know how I deal with that. I don't know if I deal with it well at all. I mean, I've had
- 3:58investor money before, but it's like different when it's family because you don't want to lose
- 4:04anyone's money. You don't want to invest your money either, of course. But family, it's like,
- 4:07family's going to be with you forever, no matter what, no matter what business fails, they're
- 4:12going to be around. So how do you think that was like the smartest way? And not just,
- 4:16not just don't answer that question just from the perspective of like this specific problem,
- 4:21answer from the perspective of any time you're dealing with something that is a degree more stress
- 4:29than you're used to dealing with. What is like the healthiest way to work through that?
- 4:33Because even if you owed somebody family, $300,000 or you owed investors $10 million and things
- 4:39aren't going well, what's like the way to work through that? So you can still be effective,
- 4:44but you don't like you still protect your mental health? Yeah, I personally believe that
- 4:52there are so many statistics out there about stress killing and stress causing diseases inside
- 4:58of your body and stress being the biggest cause of cancer, stress being the biggest leading
- 5:05indicator of early death. I think stress kills more than any single other thing, any workout routines,
- 5:12any any health diets, all of that. I think stress kills more than that. So I think figuring out
- 5:21ways to eradicate stress of your life is the number one priority that people should be working towards.
- 5:27And it's very, very difficult during times like that where you know, it is very stressful like being
- 5:34$300,000 in debt at such a young age. What I did was I just numb myself out from reality
- 5:40as much as possible. And I created a safe space with work. So everything else outside of work wasn't
- 5:47safe and work was safe. And so I still have this to this day where every single morning, most of the
- 5:54time I wake up with anxiety, even though there's not really anything to be anxious about. And it's
- 5:59because for a four year period of time, I train myself to every single day I wake up, I wake up
- 6:05with anxiety to get as fast as possible to my computer desk to start working. And so it's like your
- 6:12your brain is a computer and it can be trained. And when you train and start away for such a long
- 6:17period of time, it's very hard to train it out of that. Do you think that's healthy? No, I don't
- 6:22need to tell you at all. It definitely. I didn't know that's how you are. Yeah. Yeah. You like,
- 6:27so when you work, when you first start working every morning, it's from a place of, it's almost
- 6:33from a place of like a little bit of fear, very anxiety-based. And is that, I mean, that thing that
- 6:39happened with your family when you were young and you owed the money. How long did that last? How long
- 6:43was that period? Oh, wow. Three years. Three years. Yeah. That's some trauma, dude. Yeah. That's
- 6:50some trauma built up trauma. So when you talk about like stress being like a silent killer,
- 6:55have you, I mean, this is say what you want to say, but you've not tried to like do work to try
- 7:00and unwind that trauma. For sure. Because now you don't have these money issues. You have
- 7:06business, you have stress, but you don't have like you have experience. You understand that
- 7:12$300,000 first of all is not a lot of money in business contacts, but it can be repaid. Any
- 7:17amount of money can be repaid and any amount and no problems are so significant enough,
- 7:22especially what we're dealing with. I mean, maybe there are people that have much bigger problems
- 7:26than us than they do, but the stuff that we deal with on a day-to-day, even in a business,
- 7:30even if it's doing very well, you're still going to be alive tomorrow. The business is going to keep
- 7:34carrying on. So have you tried to like go through like, I don't know like therapy or anything like
- 7:42fast that you don't approach each day with trauma, but like you have a different perspective? Dude,
- 7:46for sure. Yeah. I've been in therapy for the past 10 months, weekly. So this is more of a new thing.
- 7:53For sure. And do you find that it's working? Yeah. The therapy that I go to wasn't directly
- 7:59for stress. It was mainly for relationships and it was because of like childhood trauma that was
- 8:06built up and created the type of person I am. But a lot of things, a lot of the problems that we face
- 8:12today, I think come from childhood experiences. And so unpacking a lot of the things that I
- 8:18faced as a child in my childhood was able to give me more clarity in terms of how I operate day-to-day,
- 8:26even so much as why do I operate from an anxiety-based framework and why do I operate where I feel the
- 8:33need to be constantly working? And it comes from childhood of the feeling of not being good enough
- 8:39for only being good if I perform in a certain way and things that are trained into you. I mean,
- 8:44sometimes, sometimes, like, someone's dark side can actually help them in their career. And it
- 8:52seems like it actually has helped you in your business, but it may not be the healthiest way
- 9:00to do what you do. And you thought about that before, like, your dark side helping you? For sure.
- 9:04Yeah. I think my childhood and my dark side, like you're saying, has helped me tremendously in
- 9:13business, but has been a huge detriment in every single other area of my life. What was the thing
- 9:18in your childhood that you think led to this feeling of anxiety? It was probably just
- 9:24sort of further doubled down on when you owed your family some money. I'm sure that didn't help
- 9:30at all, but it came from much earlier. Well, we get unpack a lot here. Like, I could speak about
- 9:36this for hours. Like, I spoke hundreds of hours of my therapist. Yeah. But yeah, my parents went
- 9:43through a divorce when I was at a very young age. And the thing that was very unique about our
- 9:51situation and very difficult was the child custody case. And so whenever two parents get divorced
- 9:57with kids, like, if they can't work it out themselves, then it goes to the court system to be
- 10:02able to figure out the child custody. And sometimes it goes like 50 50 or sometimes like they can't
- 10:10agree on anything. And so we started off 50 50 between our mom and our dad. And then our mom
- 10:16pretty much like completely parental alienated us from our dad. And so people don't necessarily
- 10:24know what parental alienation is. But it's basically like instilling beliefs and instilling
- 10:31sort of thought systems inside of a kid's mind. That's like very susceptible to, you know,
- 10:37yeah, influence. And so she instilled these thoughts that her dad wasn't safe and that the only
- 10:43person that was safe was basically her. And pretty crazy thoughts like things like sexual abuse inside
- 10:51inside of our minds when it never really happened. And then it would lead to so many different
- 10:55things where we went into CFS, which is basically like child custody services in Canada. And
- 11:02all of these things. And that brought its own set of problems. But basically within all of that,
- 11:08I was the person who stayed quiet throughout it all. So I was like the stationary ones.
- 11:13Stay quiet. The majority of brothers. Yeah, like my older brother was the one who talked
- 11:19to adamantly about a lot of things because he was the one who my mom like mainly worked with.
- 11:25So to speak. And then my little brother acted out throughout all of them. And so he basically
- 11:33was deemed that he had ADHD. And so he got put on medication at a very young age. And it led
- 11:40to his own problems with that that he has been able to get over tremendously. And he's an amazing
- 11:46human being now. But myself, what I did was I just stayed quiet. And so I went through a period of,
- 11:52you know, getting a very lack of attention. And this is trauma building up. Yeah, I'm not saying
- 11:57anything else, speaking out. You're not dealing with that. Yeah. And so like my parents, well,
- 12:02my dad ended up getting custody of us. And he grew us into like the people we are today, the
- 12:08men we are today. And so like my dad is the person who I have to thank for the people who me and my
- 12:14brothers are today. And the reason we are today, he was an amazing dad with the stuff that he was given.
- 12:21And you know, the situation that that was. But yeah, throughout all that, it was the lack of
- 12:27attention that I had. It was that I was never really taught how to showcase my emotions. And
- 12:37to acknowledge my emotions inside of my head. And then to actually communicate those emotions.
- 12:42And so it led to just the ridiculous amount of problems. But in business, it was definitely,
- 12:49it definitely helped me out in the business. Thanks for tuning in. If you found this valuable,
- 12:54don't forget to hit that subscribe button so you never miss an episode. And if you want to dive
- 12:58deeper into this conversation, check out the links in the description to watch the full episode.
- 13:03See you in the next one.