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Why Do Narcissists Get So Angry When You Move On? · The Mental Healness Podcast

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  So why do narcissist get so damn angry when you move on?
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  Like why are they so furious? Why do they throw these big, big
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  huge grown adult temper tantrums when you move on, even even when
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  they themselves have already moved on?
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  What's going on inside the mind of a narcissist?
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  Y'all? That's what we're talking about
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  today, y'all. If you're new here, my name is
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  Lee Hammock. I'm a diagnosed narcissist
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  myself and we're talking about the mind of a narcissist today
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  that like, why the hell do these narcissistic people just
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  continuously get pissed off when they see you moved on or, or, or
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  when they heard that you've moved on?
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  Like why can't they just be happy for you?
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  So let me stop right there. They're not going to be happy
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  for you. Like very rarely will a
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  narcissist be happy that you moved on and found somebody
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  else. I'll just say it straight up
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  right there. Very rarely is a narcissist or a
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  tax person, whoever going to be just just elated that you moved
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  on and that you found the love of your life and that you're
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  doing better without them. Very, very rarely, mainly
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  because look narcissist egos, our egos are attached to like
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  getting rejected. Our egos are attached to our
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  like our inner self. And like, I know the ego is part
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  of the inner self, but our egos are attached to everything that
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  we do in life. So even if we've moved on and we
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  are seemingly happy, we appear to be happy in a new
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  relationship, we find out one of our exes moved on.
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  It's going to it's going to startle, startle us.
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  And the questions that inside of ourselves, are we going to start
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  asking is like, is there a new person better than me?
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  Are they clapping their cheeks better than I did?
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  Or do they have more money than I do?
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  Are they taller? Are they shorter?
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  Are they, are they bigger? Are they skinny?
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  Are they did it something like that.
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  They're smarter. Do they have more education?
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  What do they have that I don't have?
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  What is it about me? We're going to start attaching
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  our our worth and value to what you are doing.
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  And some of them will just outright let you know, some of
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  the, some nurses well outright let you know that they are
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  attaching their worth and their value to you.
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  Because you'll see, especially if y'all have kids, if y'all
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  have kids, they're going to lose their damn minds.
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  I promise you. They're going to start saying
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  that they don't want anybody else around their kids.
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  Even though they had their new, they had the new supply around
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  the kids before that you even knew about them.
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  Like the like the kids told you about the new supply, like the
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  kids told you about them, the kids decided the kids told you
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  like, hey mommy, mommy has a new boyfriend or mommy, hey, daddy
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  has a new girlfriend. Like the kids told you about the
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  new supply. The narcissist didn't even do
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  it. So again, it's hypocritical.
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  It really is. The double standards absolutely
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  apply here. You do not get to do what I am
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  doing right. You do not get to do what I am
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  doing. I don't care what I've done.
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  I don't care where we are. I don't care how things ended.
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  I don't care how things look. You do not get to do what I have
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  done. And that's just, yeah, that's
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  literally the bottom line of it right there.
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  I know some people are going to say, well, Lee, that's not fair.
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  Yeah, yeah, of course it's not fair.
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  Nothing when you're dealing with a narcissist is fair.
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  Let's keep it hiding ready like nothing that nothing that occurs
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  is did like nothing dealing with a narcissist is going to be
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  fair. I'm just keeping it real with
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  you. Nothing, nothing.
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  Why would it be like seriously, why would anything be fair when
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  you're dealing with a damn near sometimes a psychopathic person
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  that doesn't care about you? Why would any of that be fair?
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  And that's why I just tell. That's why I tell people so many
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  times, like when you're dealing with a narcissist and you decide
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  that you get ready to move on. Just be prepared, right?
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  Just be prepared for what comes next.
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  I'm not telling you to not move on.
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  I know, I know people are just like, well, that doesn't, that
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  doesn't seem fair. They get to move on, but we
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  don't. I did not say that.
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  I said just be prepared for this person to probably throw a damn
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  temper tantrum because you have moved on.
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  You see what I'm saying? They're going to throw a temper
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  tantrum because you have moved on, because you decided that
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  they, well, you did, You didn't want to be with this person
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  anymore. They're probably going to throw
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  a temper tantrum like you didn't want you.
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  The fact that you're not single for the rest of your life is
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  going to piss them off. The fact that you want to be
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  with somebody else and you searching for happiness and
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  words, it's probably going to piss them off.
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  And yes, they're going to start doing petty things.
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  They're going to start showing up with the kids late.
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  They're going to start denying their time with the kids, right?
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  They're going to Start Stop letting you do face FaceTime
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  calls with the kids. If they have the children,
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  they're going to be making alimony payments later.
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  They're going to be making child support payments later.
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  They're going to be doing things to irritate your soul.
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  They're going to be doing things to make your life harder.
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  Because now once they find out you moved on, their their minds
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  are going to try to shift to trying to beat on their chest.
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  Like my mind is going to shift. Like if I found out you moved
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  on, yes, I have my eyes closed. I'm going in there.
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  I'm going in my narcissist, my narcissist treasure treasure
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  chest, right? If I found out you moved on and
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  we have kids, right, I'm going to try to make your life harder
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  because I don't want to think about you spending time with the
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  other person. So if you need me to watch the
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  kids or whatever and it's my day and I think you're going out,
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  going out on a date like it's Friday or Saturday, hell, now
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  I'm going to be sick. I'm going to ghost you.
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  I'm not going to pick the phone up.
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  I'm going to fake something happening.
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  I'm going to do whatever it takes as many times as it takes
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  to make myself feel better. And yes, yes, yes, y'all, that
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  is absolutely 100% childish as hell.
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  I said it. It's childish as hell because
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  most narcissists have a very childish mindset, have a very
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  childish mentality. I think that whatever I, I think
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  that I can do whatever I want to do and you can't do what you
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  want to do. That's just not how the mind of
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  a narcissist works out. I'm being and I'm being real.
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  That's really is not how the mind of a narcissist works.
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  Like I'm thinking to myself that like the way things are going
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  for me right now, I want to be in control.
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  I want to be in charge. I want to have the I want to
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  have the power and whatever I need in this situation to be
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  able to push forward. I need this to happen this way.
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  So you have to empower yourselves because if you don't,
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  this is going to be out. You have to do it anyway,
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  regardless of what the narcissist says, because their
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  egos are hurt because they get so angry that you've moved on.
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  Do it anyway. Of course.
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  Y'all, be safe and be careful because are some narcissists
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  willing to crash out and ruin their own lives in order to
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  spite you? Yeah, there are some narcissists
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  out there that will try to take. They will try to, they will try
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  to harm you. They will threaten, they will
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  both threaten to harm you and your new person and harm
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  themselves. They'll threaten to, they'll
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  threaten to unalive you. They'll threaten to unalive you
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  because of it. You know what I'm saying?
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  They'll because you moved on, because you're happy and you're
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  hitting their little baby egos, you're cracking their little
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  baby egos, the little fragile egos.
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  They'll threaten to harm you even if they have someone else.
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  That's why when I'm talking to people over zoom and stuff like
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  this, right, I'll do my one on ones over zoom at
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  mentalillness.net. I tell people I just like just
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  because they had like when people are telling me they'll
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  they'll say like, well, Lee, I hope that they find someone else
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  so that I can they they will leave me alone and I have to
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  tell people I like look, I got to keep it real with you.
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  I have to keep it hot and ready with you.
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  Even if they find someone else, it probably does not mean
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  they're going to leave you alone.
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  Even if they find someone else, it does not mean that that
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  person will leave you alone. This is not how it works in the
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  mind of a narcissist. Just because I find someone else
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  does not mean I'm going to leave you beat does not mean I'm going
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  to leave you alone. Does not not mean I'm going to
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  let you have a free life and be able to do what the hell you
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  want to do. That's not how this works,
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  y'all. It really is.
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  This is not how it works. Believe it's not fair.
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  Of course it's not fair. Y'all, you're dealing with a
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  narcissist. Like, why do y'all think like,
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  yeah, why I think fairness applies here?
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  I feel like in order to heal, we got to understand, like, why do
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  we think fairness applies to narcissist?
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  If you're dealing with a narcissist, why do we think
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  fairness applies to this relationship?
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  Because it doesn't. That's this look, that's us
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  living in delusions. If we think fairness applies
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  here, dealing with an abuser, dealing with a manipulative
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  person, dealing with a toxic narcissistic person, fairness is
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  not part of this, of the, of this dynamic.
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  It does not work that way. You, you, it's not going to be
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  fair. It just isn't.
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  But it doesn't have to be fair for you to be in charge and take
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  your power back. It doesn't have to be fair for
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  that to happen. You know what I mean?
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  It really, it really doesn't have to be fair for you to be in
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  control and you to be you to feel powerful and things like
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  that. Because narcissists and toxic
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  people alike are going to keep doing this type of toxic weirdo
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  stuff. I'm just keeping it real, y'all.
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  This, this is me keeping it real like you keeping it real.
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  I have to y'all. I have to absolutely keep it
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  real because if I don't, somebody else will.
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  Somebody else will. I have to keep it real or
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  somebody else will. I'm a rapper now.
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  I'm the narcissist, the rapper. Yeah.
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  Why the hell did they get so angry?
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  Because, like, yeah, look out. My ego, I bring it brings shame
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  into my life because it opens up a whole new treasure chest of
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  stuff within myself. It's not a treasure chest in
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  this situation. It's like a chest of.
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  It's like a Pandora's box of horribleness because like a
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  toxic, toxic chest and there there's no treasure here.
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  When I open this chest, there's no treasure.
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  I thought I thought it was treasure, but it ended up being
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  a cursed. It ended up being a cursed,
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  something cursed like a month open up the mummy's tomb or
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  something like that, right? This is what happens when I see
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  you as somebody else. It automatically makes me start
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  questioning my own worth and my own value.
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  That's why narcissists get so angry.
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  That's why they get so pissed off.
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  That's why they do this and do that.
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  Like they literally get angry and pissed off because they see
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  you living your best life and it makes them feel bad about
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  themselves. Like even even like being
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  realistic out, realistic out. Even if the person is not as
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  physically attractive as a narcissist doesn't have as much
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  money as a narcissist doesn't, you know, if whatever it is
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  doesn't match up to the narcissist, they will still, it
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  still hurts their ego. It still hurts their ego.
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  Now I'm going to end it with this job.
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  Is there a chance that the narcissist will try to be nice
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  to your new partner? Yeah, they will absolutely try
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  to be nice to your new partner. Sometimes will, sometimes they
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  will. Sometimes they will try to be
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  nice to your new partner in order to get try to get your new
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  partner on their side so they can further the manipulation.
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  They're trying to make your new partner a flying monkey of
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  theirs. They're trying to make your new
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  Boo do their bidding. So when you go to your new
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  partner and you say, look, my ex is crazy and they're abusive and
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  your new partner be like, they're really nice to me.
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  I don't know, Let me handle, let me, I'll, I'll do the middle.
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  I'll be the middle man or the middle woman.
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  You know what I'm saying? Be careful that they're
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  happening, that that doesn't happen all too often, but it
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  does happen. Or sometimes your partner will
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  fall for the narcissist charm and the narcissist still won't
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  really like them. They'll be, they really is still
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  part of the plan, part of this manipulative plan in order to
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  get more people on their side in order to hurt you further.
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  It's still hurting you further because you see your partner not
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  believing anything you said and choosing A narcissist over you a
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  lot of times. And that sucks.
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  That can suck to you. They can absolutely just be
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  devastating to a lot of people in this situation, but here we
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  go anyways y'all let's wrap this thing up.
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  Like I said, I always keep it high and ready.
• 11:37
  Mental illness.net for all things Lee Hammock.
• 11:40
  You can check out my courses, my support group, my one on ones,
• 11:43
  everything is on there y'all my books.
• 11:45
  Click one of these to stay on the channel, watch another video
• 11:49
  and I am out. Peace.