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Voddie Baucham - Not of This World Session 5_ Raising Kids in a Wicked World · Voddie Baucham Sermons

0:09
Speaker 1: Well, last session, we're looking at raising children in the
0:14
Speaker 1: midst of this culture that is opposed to the gospel.
0:19
Speaker 1: We looked at not loving the world and then this
0:24
Speaker 1: picture of biblical manhood and womanhood that is under attack.
0:28
Speaker 1: Along with that attack comes this attack on the fruit
0:33
Speaker 1: of that relationship between men and women and that fruit
0:37
Speaker 1: is children. It's the next generation. We are seeing birth
0:44
Speaker 1: rates plummet all over the world. Replacement rate is 2.1
0:50
Speaker 1: children per woman in a culture. Don't ask me how
0:54
Speaker 1: you get 0.1. Well, replacement rate is 2.1. That's a
0:59
Speaker 1: healthy culture, right? It's reproducing. It's at least replacing itself.
1:06
Speaker 1: It's at least not stagnating and dying all over the world,
1:12
Speaker 1: especially all over the Western world, we're seeing cultures that
1:16
Speaker 1: are far below that. Right now in academia, colleges are
1:26
Speaker 1: talking about the demographic cliff. Say that real fast, like
1:32
Speaker 1: 10 times, the demographic cliff. And what that refers to
1:36
Speaker 1: is the fact that Coming up in these next few years,
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Speaker 1: the number of 18-year-olds available for colleges is going to
1:48
Speaker 1: be far less than it's ever been. And so colleges
1:51
Speaker 1: and universities are having to compete for fewer and fewer students.
1:57
Speaker 1: On another front, people are now looking at the fact
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Speaker 1: that this largest generation is moving into retirement. And there
2:08
Speaker 1: are far too few workers to actually support that generation
2:15
Speaker 1: in their retirements that are now lasting longer than ever before.
2:21
Speaker 1: Beyond that, there is this sense of what demographers refer
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Speaker 1: to as a point of no return. And it's somewhere
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Speaker 1: around 1.4, a birth rate of about 1.4. Most of
2:31
Speaker 1: Europe is below that already. Places like Japan and other
2:41
Speaker 1: places in Asia are well below that. The lowest birth
2:44
Speaker 1: rates in the world are in South Korea. Their birth
2:48
Speaker 1: rates are 0.7. Yeah, that's half of the point of
2:54
Speaker 1: no return. 0.7. And this has tremendous implications, catastrophic implications
3:03
Speaker 1: in a culture. And we could talk for a while
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Speaker 1: about the economic implications and demographic implications, but the spiritual
3:16
Speaker 1: implications are what matters. Countries have tried. They've tried in
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Speaker 1: South Korea. They've tried in Japan. They tried in Russia.
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Speaker 1: Russia's birth rates are catastrophic. Russia's in deep, deep trouble.
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Speaker 1: China's in deep, deep trouble. And you You hear that
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Speaker 1: and you're like, well, aren't there like a billion Chinese? Yes.
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Speaker 1: But when you look at the coming generations, China is
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Speaker 1: about to fall off a demographic cliff. It's going to
3:45
Speaker 1: be catastrophic for them. And it will probably lead to
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Speaker 1: desperation on their part. Russia, same thing. Catastrophic. And they've tried.
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Speaker 1: They've tried incentivizing people. They've tried giving tens of thousands
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Speaker 1: of dollars per child. They've tried, you know, giving stipends
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Speaker 1: to families who will have children, and it has not
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Speaker 1: impacted the birth rates. Never before in the history of
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Speaker 1: the world have birth rates fallen so far, so fast,
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Speaker 1: and stayed so low for so long. Usually you only
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Speaker 1: see this in places where there's war and famine, right?
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Speaker 1: But But that's not what we're experiencing. What we're experiencing
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Speaker 1: is a lack of love for children. What we're experiencing
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Speaker 1: is a reworking of our priorities. And there's also another
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Speaker 1: piece of this. There seems to be a blind spot.
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Speaker 1: I watched a special, and it was a special on,
5:02
Speaker 1: you know, women, you know, later in life. And there
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Speaker 1: was a doctor and there was a lawyer and there was,
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Speaker 1: I forget what the other woman was, these three women and,
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Speaker 1: you know, high-powered sort of executive types or whatnot. And
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Speaker 1: they hadn't had children and they were, you know, now
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Speaker 1: in their 40s. And what was amazing was how these high-powered,
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Speaker 1: highly educated women did not understand how rapidly a woman's
5:38
Speaker 1: fertility window closes. And they just thought, you know, just
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Speaker 1: whenever they felt like it, you know, just whenever they
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Speaker 1: felt like it. And it's not the case. It's not automatic.
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Speaker 1: And the longer you wait, the more difficult it becomes.
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Speaker 1: And it's heartbreaking. It's heartbreaking. Even when couples get married nowadays,
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Speaker 1: you know, I used to call them yachts, right? Not
6:11
Speaker 1: like the yacht, the big boat yacht, but yacht, Y-O-T.
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Speaker 1: In other words, we get married and then maybe we'll
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Speaker 1: start having kids in a year or two, right? You
6:21
Speaker 1: can't call them yachts anymore because now it's a year
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Speaker 1: or five. And I can't tell you how many times
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Speaker 1: I've sat across from a couple and with whom I
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Speaker 1: had the conversation up front that went something like this.
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Speaker 1: If you're not ready to have kids, you're not ready
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Speaker 1: to get married. When you get married, start having kids.
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Speaker 1: There is no guarantee. Have kids. We're not ready for kids. Well,
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Speaker 1: then you're not ready for marriage. Oh, no, they go, hey,
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Speaker 1: we'll get married. We'll have kids in a year or
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Speaker 1: two or a year or a few. And then a
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Speaker 1: few years later, they're sitting across from the counseling table again,
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Speaker 1: now with tears in their eyes because when they decided
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Speaker 1: to say, God, now we give you permission to give
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Speaker 1: us children. It didn't happen. They thought that they would
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Speaker 1: just be able to snap their fingers and pregnancy would
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Speaker 1: just come. And it didn't happen. And then a miscarriage happened.
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Speaker 1: And then it didn't happen again. And all of a
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Speaker 1: sudden their world comes crashing down because they took fertility
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Speaker 1: for granted and prioritized everything else. over bringing children into
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Speaker 1: the world. And I'm not talking to you about this
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Speaker 1: as someone who's always understood this and who's always gotten
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Speaker 1: this right. I told you Bridget and I got married
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Speaker 1: and we're going to be here in Ephesians 6, I promise.
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Speaker 1: So Bridget and I got married somewhere between my sophomore
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Speaker 1: and junior year. And we had our first baby 10
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Speaker 1: months after that. Because we were what you call efficient.
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Speaker 1: And then a few years later, our next child came along.
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Speaker 1: And so we had our daughter, and then we had
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Speaker 1: our son. And then there was so much external pressure
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Speaker 1: In this culture of a boy for me and a
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Speaker 1: girl for you and praise the Lord, we're finally through, right?
8:32
Speaker 1: And Bridget had her tubes tied. And the way I
8:43
Speaker 1: describe it is we went to a doctor and we said, doc,
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Speaker 1: we need you to say a prayer for us. Speak
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Speaker 1: to God on our behalf. And with your scalpel and
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Speaker 1: your sutures, tell God he is no longer welcome in
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Speaker 1: this part of our lives. And that's what he did.
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Speaker 1: A couple years later, massive conviction. Bridget comes to me
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Speaker 1: one day. She gets down on her knees and says
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Speaker 1: she needs to ask me for forgiveness. Now, a man's
9:20
Speaker 1: sitting there, his wife comes, gets on her knees and says,
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Speaker 1: I need to ask for forgiveness. Like, immediately. Man, she's
9:29
Speaker 1: about to confess something. She's about, she's, really? She's about,
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Speaker 1: don't tell me, don't tell me that that, don't tell
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Speaker 1: me who he is. Don't tell me who he is.
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Speaker 1: I'll start a prison ministry, I promise. Don't. She says
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Speaker 1: to me, I'm so sorry that I got my tubes tied.
10:00
Speaker 1: I was like, what? She said, yeah, we shouldn't have
10:03
Speaker 1: done that. I said, babe, that happened on my watch.
10:09
Speaker 1: I said, I believe that patriarchy stuff. That happened on
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Speaker 1: my watch. I'm sorry that I didn't lead you better
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Speaker 1: through that. Forgive me. She said, do you mean it?
10:20
Speaker 1: I said, yes, babe, I mean it. She said, okay,
10:23
Speaker 1: because there's this procedure. It's very expensive. And I said,
10:30
Speaker 1: we'll figure it out. And we went to another doctor.
10:37
Speaker 1: And we said, doctor, the prayer that that last doctor
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Speaker 1: prayed for us, unpray it. Fix it. does all of
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Speaker 1: his tests and takes all of his scans and he
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Speaker 1: comes back and he says, I'm sorry, I don't know
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Speaker 1: how to tell you this, but the way that he
11:01
Speaker 1: did this, I can't undo. It's one of the most
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Speaker 1: difficult moments that I've experienced as a husband. Because on
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Speaker 1: the one hand, I was devastated. But on the other hand,
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Speaker 1: I knew that my wife was not only devastated, but
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Speaker 1: she was devastated because I was devastated. So I was devastated,
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Speaker 1: but I couldn't be too devastated because I didn't want
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Speaker 1: her to be more devastated by my devastation. So we
11:31
Speaker 1: just sat with it. We just sat with it. And
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Speaker 1: I know what you're thinking. You said that happened after
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Speaker 1: you had two kids. It did. It happened after we
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Speaker 1: had two kids. And then the Lord put it on
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Speaker 1: our hearts to be open to adoption. And he brought
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Speaker 1: us seven children in nine years through adoption. So when
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Speaker 1: I talk about this, I'm not talking to you as
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Speaker 1: a man without scars in his area. As a man
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Speaker 1: who's always gotten it and understood it in this area.
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Speaker 1: but I'm seeing it and I'm seeing it more and
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Speaker 1: more and more. One of the reasons that in vitro
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Speaker 1: fertilization became a frontline issue in this recent election is
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Speaker 1: because we are putting off pregnancy and childbearing longer and
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Speaker 1: longer and longer and doing things to ourselves in order
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Speaker 1: to prevent it. for longer and longer and longer. And
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Speaker 1: there are more and more problems with fertility. It's real.
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Speaker 1: We live in a culture that doesn't love children. And unfortunately,
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Speaker 1: as Christians, we've adopted this same idea. If you don't
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Speaker 1: believe me, just watch a big family walk into a church. Amen.
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Speaker 1: I'm not talking about a church with a whole bunch
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Speaker 1: of Sprinter vans outside. I'm talking about a church with,
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Speaker 1: you know, a bunch of other kind of stuff outside, right?
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Speaker 1: Just watch a family walking through the church. Watch people.
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Speaker 1: Watch people. Watch a young woman, a young woman with
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Speaker 1: a bunch of kids, and see how people in church
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Speaker 1: treat that young woman with a bunch of kids. like
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Speaker 1: she's been sex trafficked. That's their attitude toward a young
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Speaker 1: woman with a bunch of kids. How awful it must be.
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Speaker 1: That's in the church. We don't love children. We don't
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Speaker 1: see the fruit of the womb as a blessing from God.
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Speaker 1: We just don't. We see it as interfering with our
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Speaker 1: ability to enjoy the finer things in life, when ironically,
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Speaker 1: there are no finer things in life. All right, that's
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Speaker 1: my introduction. Ephesians chapter six. We're still in the household codes, right?
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Speaker 1: And remember, all of these are areas where there are
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Speaker 1: battles in our culture. All of these are areas where
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Speaker 1: we're looking at God's design and we're saying no. Ephesians
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Speaker 1: chapter 6, beginning of verse 1. Right after his teaching
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Speaker 1: on wives and husbands, the next logical thing for him
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Speaker 1: to cover is the fruit of that relationship, and that's children. Children,
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Speaker 1: obey your parents in the Lord. For this is right.
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Speaker 1: And this is the first thing that I want to say.
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Speaker 1: That children, that's the natural progression. We get married. We
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Speaker 1: have children. We get married and we welcome children. We
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Speaker 1: come together as husbands and wives and we welcome children.
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Speaker 1: Because another thing that we're doing now in all of
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Speaker 1: this is... We're moving forward with this idea of I
15:53
Speaker 1: don't need a man. I freeze my eggs till I'm ready,
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Speaker 1: and then I'll find a donor, and then I will
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Speaker 1: intentionally bring a child into a situation that used to
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Speaker 1: be considered a tragedy. I will intentionally rob the child
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Speaker 1: of a father. Let me celebrate this. No. No. It
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Speaker 1: is the outgrowth. It is the fruit of that relationship.
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Speaker 1: It is the fruit of that one flesh union. Children,
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Speaker 1: obey your parents in the Lord. It is a wonderful gift.
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Speaker 1: And I'm saying this to you as someone who grew
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Speaker 1: up without my father. I didn't realize how much that
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Speaker 1: impacted me. I really thought I was okay. You know
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Speaker 1: when I realized that it wasn't okay? When I realized
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Speaker 1: that it had impacted me? The day my daughter was born.
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Speaker 1: I know a lot of men get emotional when their
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Speaker 1: first child is born, right? I was a wreck. They
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Speaker 1: put her in my hands, and I remember immediately thinking,
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Speaker 1: please clean her up. But then after that, I just
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Speaker 1: started weeping like chest-heaving cry. And Bridget said, baby, you okay?
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Speaker 1: And I couldn't even speak. I couldn't even speak. And
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Speaker 1: it was not, she's looking at me as her husband.
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Speaker 1: It was not. I'm so overjoyed that God has given
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Speaker 1: me a daughter. I'm so, it wasn't that at all.
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Speaker 1: It wasn't a moment of being overjoyed. You know what
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Speaker 1: was going through my mind at that moment? How could
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Speaker 1: my father have experienced this moment and then allowed anything
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Speaker 1: in the world to cause him to leave me? It
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Speaker 1: had never hit me before. But in that moment, I
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Speaker 1: was like, it would take a team of wild horses
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Speaker 1: to separate me from this little girl, to cause me
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Speaker 1: to abandon this little girl and not be everything she
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Speaker 1: needs every moment that I'm able. How can he do that?
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Speaker 1: It's a wonderful gift that God gives to children. I
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Speaker 1: understand there are situations and circumstances where it's just not possible.
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Speaker 1: People die and other things happen. I get that. Things
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Speaker 1: become out of our control, but our goal and our
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Speaker 1: passion ought to be that we would have healthy marriages,
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Speaker 1: that would result in the fruit of children who have
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Speaker 1: the great benefit and blessing of the picture of the
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Speaker 1: relationship between Christ and his church modeled before them all
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Speaker 1: the days of their life. That ought to be our
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Speaker 1: goal and our passion. And that's not to make anyone
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Speaker 1: who has any other circumstance to feel any kind of way.
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Speaker 1: That's not what I'm saying here. As I've said, I
19:47
Speaker 1: recognize that there are things that happen. Chalices die. I
19:55
Speaker 1: recognize that. People leave. I recognize that. But this is
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Speaker 1: still what we strive for. Amen? This is still what
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Speaker 1: we strive for. It's one thing for us to be
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Speaker 1: in a situation where sometimes things happen. But in our culture,
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Speaker 1: we live in a culture where they sell cakes for
20:19
Speaker 1: divorce parties. Go to a party city or whatever you
20:28
Speaker 1: have here. I don't know whatever they have in Arizona,
20:30
Speaker 1: but go to one of these places where they sell
20:32
Speaker 1: all the trimmings and trappings for parties and there will
20:37
Speaker 1: be an aisle devoted to celebrating your divorce. That can't
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Speaker 1: be us. That can't be us. We must always consider
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Speaker 1: that tragic. Because this is God's design. That beautiful, glorious
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Speaker 1: one flesh union that bears fruit. Children, obey your parents
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Speaker 1: and the Lord, for this is right. When he gives
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Speaker 1: his children, what ought we to do? Look at these
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Speaker 1: first couple of verses. Children, obey your parents and the Lord,
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Speaker 1: for this is right. Honor your father and your mother.
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Speaker 1: This is the first commandment with a promise that it
21:25
Speaker 1: may go well with you and you may live long
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Speaker 1: in the land. Really simple. Really simple. When our children come,
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Speaker 1: with all these elaborate goals and, right, I want my
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Speaker 1: child to be this, I want my child to be that,
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Speaker 1: Don't get all bogged down with that. Don't make it complicated.
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Speaker 1: Make it really simple. Teach your child to do what
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Speaker 1: they're told when they're told with a respectful attitude. Do
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Speaker 1: that right there. Do that right there. And I'm not,
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Speaker 1: am I making that? Nope. Children obey their parents in
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Speaker 1: the Lord. If a child doesn't do what they're told,
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Speaker 1: they haven't obeyed. Amen? Amen. We need to teach our
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Speaker 1: children to do what they're told. By the way, if
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Speaker 1: a child doesn't do what they're told when they're told,
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Speaker 1: then that means that they have exercised delayed obedience. And
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Speaker 1: it's funny, in the Greek and also in the Hebrew,
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Speaker 1: delayed obedience is disobedience. So some of y'all get that
22:32
Speaker 1: on the way out, right? So if I don't do
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Speaker 1: what I'm told, I disobeyed. If I don't do what
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Speaker 1: I'm told when I'm told, I've disobeyed. We must teach
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Speaker 1: our children to do what they're told when they're told.
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Speaker 1: By the way, are they going to do this perfectly?
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Speaker 1: I'll answer that question with another question. Do you do
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Speaker 1: it perfectly with your heavenly father? Huh? The moment you
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Speaker 1: do it perfectly with your heavenly father, you can expect
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Speaker 1: your child to do it perfectly with you, their earthly
23:08
Speaker 1: mother and father. Yet, even though it's not done perfectly,
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Speaker 1: it's what we strive for. And honor your father and mother.
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Speaker 1: The first commandment with a promise that it may go
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Speaker 1: well with you and you may live long in the land.
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Speaker 1: So if they do what they're told and they do
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Speaker 1: it when they're told, but they don't do it with
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Speaker 1: a respectful attitude, they still violate the fifth commandment. Because
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Speaker 1: the fifth commandment is honor your father and your mother.
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Speaker 1: We teach this. Here's what's interesting. Here's what's interesting. When
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Speaker 1: it comes to the wife and her duty toward her
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Speaker 1: husband and the husband and his duty towards his wife,
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Speaker 1: we're pressed toward the gospel. We're pressed toward this picture
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Speaker 1: of who we are in Christ and the our equipping
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Speaker 1: and our motivation for this obedience. When it comes to
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Speaker 1: the children, we get law. We get the fifth commandment.
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Speaker 1: We get law. Why? Because our children are not saved. Amen?
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Speaker 1: Our children come to us and they're not saved. So
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Speaker 1: we give them the law. Give your children the law.
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Speaker 1: Because the law is a tutor and a mirror. And
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Speaker 1: it is the law That points us to our sinfulness
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Speaker 1: and points us to our need for a Savior. And
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Speaker 1: so here Paul starts with the law, the fifth commandment.
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Speaker 1: Teach your children to obey, to do what they're told,
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Speaker 1: to do when they're told, and to do it with
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Speaker 1: a respectful attitude. And constantly remind them that it is
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Speaker 1: what the law requires of them while simultaneously reminding them
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Speaker 1: that their disobedience to this assures them of their need
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Speaker 1: for a savior who will rescue them from their sin.
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Speaker 1: This is incredibly important in our day and age because
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Speaker 1: now we have this permissive parenting and gentle parenting. And
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Speaker 1: I mean, I... At the airport. I'm at the airport.
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Speaker 1: And I'm standing and I'm like, sometimes my sweet wife
25:49
Speaker 1: has to help me. She has to help me with
25:52
Speaker 1: my face. And she literally, she will literally go, babe,
25:56
Speaker 1: your face. And I'm like, oh, okay. I know exactly
26:01
Speaker 1: what she's talking about, right? Because I'm standing there and
26:04
Speaker 1: I'm like, you know, are you serious right now? And
26:09
Speaker 1: part of me, if I'm honest, part of me is
26:13
Speaker 1: looking for my mama. Because I'm like, if that was me,
26:20
Speaker 1: I would have died today. Amen. A couple of things
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Speaker 1: I never doubt. I never doubted that my mother loved me.
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Speaker 1: She absolutely loved me. And I was also really sure
26:42
Speaker 1: that under the right circumstances, she'd kill me. Because she
26:48
Speaker 1: loved me. And now, there's a generation of children who've
26:59
Speaker 1: never heard a hard no. And you can tell by
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Speaker 1: how many times they have to be told a soft no.
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Speaker 1: That they've never heard a hard no. They've never been taught,
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Speaker 1: you must do what you're told when you're told with
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Speaker 1: a respectful attitude. And when you see it, it's shocking.
27:29
Speaker 1: Because it's not a part of our culture today. Today
27:33
Speaker 1: we put children in the horrible position of having to
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Speaker 1: parent themselves. Sweetheart, do you want to put that down
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Speaker 1: right now? Okay, sweetheart, how about you want to put
27:46
Speaker 1: that down, or do you want to do, you know,
27:48
Speaker 1: here's your choice. You're the parent, not me. I'm going
27:51
Speaker 1: to give you a choice, baby. I'm going to allow
27:55
Speaker 1: you to be the authority in your own life, and
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Speaker 1: I'm going to do anything but stand 10 toes down
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Speaker 1: and tell you, stop that, and have you know exactly
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Speaker 1: what will happen if you don't. I'm going to do
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Speaker 1: anything but that. And it's horrible because children are not
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Speaker 1: made to live like that. And that's what we're seeing
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Speaker 1: all around us. There are entire like TikTok pages and
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Speaker 1: YouTube channels devoted to this stuff. Scripture makes it really simple.
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Speaker 1: Teach your children to do what they're told when they're
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Speaker 1: told with a respectful attitude. How do we do that?
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Speaker 1: I'm glad you asked. We do that through formative discipline
28:52
Speaker 1: and corrective discipline. The overwhelming majority of our discipline ought
28:56
Speaker 1: to be formative discipline. What's formative discipline? Formative discipline is
28:59
Speaker 1: the instruction that we give to our children, teaching them
29:03
Speaker 1: what our expectations are, what God's expectations are. here's what
29:13
Speaker 1: you do, here's how you do it. We need to
29:16
Speaker 1: be spending time teaching our children that. Don't just say share.
29:23
Speaker 1: What is sharing? Here's what sharing looks like. Instruct our children.
29:34
Speaker 1: And then not only instruct our children, but warn our children.
29:41
Speaker 1: How do we warn them? Bring the scriptures to bear.
29:43
Speaker 1: This is what Paul does here. Children, obey your parents
29:48
Speaker 1: and the Lord for this is right. Honor your father
29:49
Speaker 1: and your mother. This is the first commandment with a promise.
29:51
Speaker 1: So there's what the scripture says. That it may go
29:54
Speaker 1: well with you and you may live long in the land.
29:57
Speaker 1: There's the warning. There is a blessing that is attached
30:03
Speaker 1: to your obedience, and there are consequences that are attached
30:07
Speaker 1: to your disobedience. So formative discipline, instruction, warning. Next level
30:17
Speaker 1: is reproof. Instruction and warning, that is giving you information
30:26
Speaker 1: before an infraction has come. Reproof. That is me showing
30:34
Speaker 1: you that there has been an infraction. What the infraction
30:40
Speaker 1: is and how it is that you need to correct
30:45
Speaker 1: your behavior. Warning, instruction, reproof, correction. There has been an infraction.
31:01
Speaker 1: There has been Warning, there has been instruction, there has
31:05
Speaker 1: been reproof, and yet there continues to be infraction, so
31:10
Speaker 1: now there will be correction. What's correction? Spank your kids
31:15
Speaker 1: early and often, please. It's what the Bible has given
31:24
Speaker 1: to us. If you strike them with the rod, they
31:28
Speaker 1: will not die. Folly is bound up in the heart
31:33
Speaker 1: of a child, but the rod of correction will drive
31:35
Speaker 1: it far from them. Here's what's ironic. There are a
31:40
Speaker 1: lot of us who are afraid of that because we
31:42
Speaker 1: don't want to abuse our children, right? I don't want
31:46
Speaker 1: to abuse my child. I don't want to hurt my child.
31:50
Speaker 1: First of all, you're not wiser than God, and you
31:53
Speaker 1: don't love your child more than God does. Amen? So
31:58
Speaker 1: let that go. Secondly, think about how foolish that would be.
32:02
Speaker 1: Think about if your child, for example, is bitten by
32:05
Speaker 1: a snake, right? Y'all got snakes here in Arizona. Y'all
32:10
Speaker 1: got some bad snakes here in Arizona. Here's one thing
32:14
Speaker 1: I'm grateful for. I no longer have to worry about
32:17
Speaker 1: black mambas in my backyard. Amen. Praise God for that, right?
32:23
Speaker 1: No black mambas. But your child is bitten by a snake.
32:27
Speaker 1: You take your child to the emergency room and You know,
32:29
Speaker 1: and what happened? My child was bitten by a snake.
32:32
Speaker 1: What kind of snake? This kind. Because you kill it,
32:36
Speaker 1: cut the head off, and you take it in with you.
32:38
Speaker 1: So you can say this kind. So they can give
32:41
Speaker 1: the child the antivenom. Now imagine you've shown them it
32:44
Speaker 1: was this kind of snake that bit my child, right?
32:46
Speaker 1: I've tied that thing off, and here it is, and
32:48
Speaker 1: now they come with a needle, and they're getting ready
32:50
Speaker 1: to give your child a shot so they can give
32:52
Speaker 1: them the antivenom. And you say, oh, no, no, no, no, no, no,
32:54
Speaker 1: don't do that. That will hurt my child. And as
32:57
Speaker 1: a parent, I do not want to inflict pain on
32:59
Speaker 1: my child. It's ridiculous, right? No, you allow your child
33:14
Speaker 1: to experience the temporary pain of the antivenom so that
33:17
Speaker 1: the venom can be driven out of them. Exact same
33:21
Speaker 1: thing with the rod. Allow your child to experience the
33:26
Speaker 1: temporary pain of the rod so that the venom of
33:30
Speaker 1: their folly can be driven from them. And the great
33:36
Speaker 1: irony is there are so many parents who abuse their
33:39
Speaker 1: children because they refuse to spank them on the regular.
33:45
Speaker 1: Because now what happens is it builds up and it
33:49
Speaker 1: builds up and it builds up and instead of a
33:52
Speaker 1: regular tap, tap, There's an explosion. I am not talking
34:08
Speaker 1: about abusive beatings of our children. We do the same
34:11
Speaker 1: thing with this that we do with the passage about
34:15
Speaker 1: wives submitting to their husbands. We go to the wildest
34:19
Speaker 1: extreme imaginable and we say there's either refusing under any
34:26
Speaker 1: circumstances to spank a child, or there is no more
34:31
Speaker 1: wire hanging. Okay, y'all don't even know that. But like
34:37
Speaker 1: there's nothing in between, and there absolutely is. There is wise, biblical, God-honoring, correction.
34:54
Speaker 1: followed by reconciliation that can be brought to bear on
34:59
Speaker 1: a child. Children, obey your parents in the Lord for
35:12
Speaker 1: this is right. Honor your father and mother. First commandment
35:16
Speaker 1: with a promise that he may go well with you
35:19
Speaker 1: and you may live long in the land. our desire
35:22
Speaker 1: for our children is that they would experience this blessing.
35:27
Speaker 1: And so we train our children. We discipline our children
35:33
Speaker 1: and disciple our children because our desire is for them
35:37
Speaker 1: to experience this blessing. We bring the law to bear
35:41
Speaker 1: in our children's lives so that the law can be
35:44
Speaker 1: a mirror and a tutor and point them to their
35:47
Speaker 1: need for a savior. And then verse four, Fathers, do
35:52
Speaker 1: not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up
35:56
Speaker 1: in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. Those two words,
36:00
Speaker 1: the best way to interpret those two words, teach your
36:02
Speaker 1: child to believe like Christians and teach them to behave
36:05
Speaker 1: like Christians. Those two words correspond to the two halves
36:08
Speaker 1: of the book of Ephesians. Instruct your children and disciple
36:19
Speaker 1: your children. How do we instruct our children? Well, let
36:24
Speaker 1: me give you a few tools. Let me give you
36:26
Speaker 1: a few tools. One tool that we need to be
36:29
Speaker 1: using with our children is catechism. Amen. We need to
36:34
Speaker 1: be using catechism with our children. What is catechism? Catechism
36:37
Speaker 1: is actually a pedagogical method. It's teaching the rudiments of
36:42
Speaker 1: anything through the use of questions and answers. There's actually
36:48
Speaker 1: a catechism to the U.S. Constitution that we use to
36:51
Speaker 1: use in, you know, one-room schoolhouses all around this country
36:57
Speaker 1: to teach little children the fundamentals of the U.S. Constitution,
37:02
Speaker 1: a series of questions and answers. Theologically, we use catechism
37:10
Speaker 1: to teach the rudiments of the Christian faith. The most
37:13
Speaker 1: famous catechism is Westminster Shorter Catechism, right? What is the
37:19
Speaker 1: chief end of man? Chief end of man is to
37:23
Speaker 1: glorify God and enjoy him forever, right? That's the first
37:27
Speaker 1: question of the Westminster Shorter Catechism. And there are many catechisms.
37:32
Speaker 1: And people come up to me and go, okay, what's
37:33
Speaker 1: a good catechism? Well, a good catechism is the one
37:37
Speaker 1: that was designed to teach your church's confession of faith. Well,
37:44
Speaker 1: what's my church's confession of faith? Well, if you don't
37:47
Speaker 1: know that, you might need to find another church. But
37:50
Speaker 1: maybe not. Maybe you just haven't gotten that far. Maybe
37:53
Speaker 1: you should just go ask. Maybe you should just go ask,
37:56
Speaker 1: what is the confession of faith that most closely aligns
37:59
Speaker 1: with who we are theologically as a church? Because that's
38:03
Speaker 1: how catechisms work. They teach the fundamentals of our confessions,
38:13
Speaker 1: the truths that we hold dear. Catechize your children. We're
38:20
Speaker 1: good Reformed Baptists, and so we use the catechism for
38:23
Speaker 1: boys and girls and then Spurgeon's catechism. You use the
38:28
Speaker 1: catechism when they're young, as soon as they become verbal, right?
38:31
Speaker 1: I love the catechism for boys and girls. Who made you?
38:33
Speaker 1: God made me. What else did God make? God made
38:36
Speaker 1: all things. Why did God make you in all things?
38:38
Speaker 1: For his glory. How can you glorify God? By loving
38:41
Speaker 1: him and doing what he commands. Why ought you to
38:43
Speaker 1: glorify God? Because he made me and takes care of me.
38:47
Speaker 1: I mean, come on now. You're just getting the rudiments
38:51
Speaker 1: of the faith. And you're starting from the beginning. And
38:54
Speaker 1: there's like 105 or 109, depending on which one you use,
38:58
Speaker 1: questions that grow in their length and complexity. That gives
39:05
Speaker 1: a theological foundation, a biblical foundation. Secondly, Scripture memory. Scripture memory.
39:12
Speaker 1: Our kids need to be memorizing Scripture. And if you
39:16
Speaker 1: don't believe that they can memorize Scripture, Just put on
39:20
Speaker 1: the most popular rap song and watch them go. You
39:26
Speaker 1: will be amazed. because they know it get it in
39:36
Speaker 1: there get them to memorize scripture get them to memorize
39:39
Speaker 1: catechism and I know the objection wait a minute you're
39:43
Speaker 1: talking about all this rote memorization stuff right I don't
39:47
Speaker 1: want to just cram this down my child's throat I
39:50
Speaker 1: want them to grow to love God on their own. Okay, great.
39:54
Speaker 1: Do you want them to grow to love reading? Yes.
39:58
Speaker 1: And yet you teach them the rote memorization of the alphabet.
40:06
Speaker 1: It's pedagogy. We make our children memorize what matters. Teach
40:14
Speaker 1: them the scriptures. Get it in there. Get it in there.
40:22
Speaker 1: Teach them the great hymns of the faith. Amen? I
40:29
Speaker 1: love all music. I love contemporary church music. I do.
40:35
Speaker 1: But teach them the great hymns of the faith. There's
40:38
Speaker 1: a reason that those hymns are the great hymns of
40:41
Speaker 1: the faith and have stood the test of time. Teach
40:45
Speaker 1: it to them. You connect them to the history of
40:48
Speaker 1: the church and you connect them to the church around
40:50
Speaker 1: the world. It's amazing how hymnody does that. You're in
40:57
Speaker 1: a church you've never been before, and maybe this church
41:00
Speaker 1: is from a different tradition than you, you know, maybe, whatever.
41:03
Speaker 1: Maybe they even speak a different language than you, and
41:05
Speaker 1: all of a sudden, you hear the tune of a
41:09
Speaker 1: familiar hymn, and you go, these are my people right here.
41:17
Speaker 1: It connects us across geography. It connects us across history.
41:24
Speaker 1: Do that. Do that with your children. Have them memorize
41:30
Speaker 1: the great hymns of the faith. Have them memorize important
41:33
Speaker 1: passages of scripture. Have them memorize catechism. Do that with
41:38
Speaker 1: your children. The other thing that I would encourage is
41:42
Speaker 1: I would encourage you to have family worship on a
41:45
Speaker 1: regular basis in your home. Gather with your children. Gather
41:51
Speaker 1: together to read together and pray together and sing together
42:00
Speaker 1: Not for 30, 45 minutes every day, but maybe for five, 10.
42:12
Speaker 1: When should you do it? Whenever it works for your family.
42:15
Speaker 1: Does it work to do it first thing in the morning?
42:17
Speaker 1: Do it first thing in the morning. Does it work
42:19
Speaker 1: to do it after breakfast? Do it after breakfast. Does
42:22
Speaker 1: it work to do it at dinnertime or after dinner?
42:24
Speaker 1: Do it at dinnertime or after dinner. Does it work
42:27
Speaker 1: to do it another time? Figure out what time works.
42:30
Speaker 1: And if you can't find a time that works, your
42:32
Speaker 1: family might be too busy. Gather together. Make that the
42:48
Speaker 1: center and core of your identity as a family. We
42:53
Speaker 1: belong to God. We are dependent upon God. And we
42:58
Speaker 1: gather together regularly, preferably daily, to remind ourselves, to remind
43:03
Speaker 1: one another of our dependence upon our great God. And
43:08
Speaker 1: we read together and we pray together and we sing together.
43:14
Speaker 1: And it holds us together. It's a beautiful thing. Otherwise,
43:22
Speaker 1: we just become a family that only reaches out to
43:24
Speaker 1: God when the wheels fall off. rather than a family
43:32
Speaker 1: that consistently reminds itself who we are and whose we are.
43:41
Speaker 1: Engage in regular family worship. It is an incredible blessing
43:46
Speaker 1: to every member of the family. It's a blessing to
43:51
Speaker 1: husbands and heads of household. It really is to have
43:55
Speaker 1: that accountability. There is nothing that will spur you on
43:59
Speaker 1: toward pursuing spiritual maturity, like the accountability of leading your
44:04
Speaker 1: family regularly and family worship. It's encouraging to wives and mothers. Listen,
44:12
Speaker 1: the number one prayer that, I mean, pastors will tell you,
44:17
Speaker 1: ask a pastor, pastor, what's the number one prayer that
44:19
Speaker 1: you hear from married women in the church? That my
44:24
Speaker 1: husband will be the spiritual leader of our home. I
44:27
Speaker 1: just want my husband to be the spiritual leader of
44:29
Speaker 1: our home. Interestingly enough, man, if you start doing this,
44:36
Speaker 1: that prayer request will change. And the prayer request will be, Pastor,
44:41
Speaker 1: just pray that I will learn to follow my husband's
44:43
Speaker 1: spiritual leadership at home. And ladies, can I just encourage you?
44:57
Speaker 1: If your husband does this, if your husband steps up
45:01
Speaker 1: and he tries something, If he steps up and inconsistently
45:09
Speaker 1: and imperfectly, he brings your family together to read together,
45:13
Speaker 1: pray together, and sing together. When you feel the urge
45:19
Speaker 1: to correct him or criticize him, this is what I
45:22
Speaker 1: want you to do instead. Get a sledgehammer and go
45:27
Speaker 1: outside and knock holes in your house because that will
45:31
Speaker 1: be more productive. Tear your house down before you tear
45:38
Speaker 1: down a man who's trying to figure out how to
45:40
Speaker 1: be the spiritual leader in his home. It's an encouragement
45:51
Speaker 1: to children. It's an encouragement to children. Spiritually, it's an
45:58
Speaker 1: encouragement to them. Intellectually, it's an encouragement to them. It's beautiful.
46:05
Speaker 1: It encourages the whole family. It's an encouragement to your
46:09
Speaker 1: whole family when you go through trials and difficulties together.
46:17
Speaker 1: It's a simple thing. Don't make it complicated. Don't make
46:21
Speaker 1: it complicated. Five minutes. Five minutes. Let's just read something together.
46:28
Speaker 1: Maybe make a comment on it. Let's just pray together.
46:33
Speaker 1: Maybe take a few requests for what's going on in
46:35
Speaker 1: the day. Let's sing something together. Maybe just a verse
46:41
Speaker 1: from a familiar hymn. Just a chorus that we can
46:44
Speaker 1: sing together. Let's just do that. You will be amazed.
46:47
Speaker 1: You will be amazed at the benefit that that will
46:50
Speaker 1: bring to you and your children. And when you put
46:54
Speaker 1: all these things together and it becomes a lifestyle, it's transformational.
47:09
Speaker 1: I would say that there's few things that will have
47:13
Speaker 1: this impact. I don't know that there's anything that will
47:15
Speaker 1: have this impact on you as a family. If number one,
47:22
Speaker 1: you recognize the blessing of children, prioritize the blessing of children,
47:29
Speaker 1: welcome children into your home, stay together as a couple,
47:34
Speaker 1: raise your children, be that, glorious picture of the relationship,
47:39
Speaker 1: that glorious, imperfect picture of the relationship between Christ and
47:42
Speaker 1: his church. Discipline your children. Disciple your children. Have your
47:54
Speaker 1: children memorize the catechism, memorize scripture, memorize hymns of the faith,
47:59
Speaker 1: and then engage in regular family worship together. These simple things.
48:10
Speaker 1: And it will be imperfect. It will be inconsistent. But
48:19
Speaker 1: let's say you only make it half the time. There's
48:31
Speaker 1: a Wayne Gretzky quote that I love. Wayne Gretzky, arguably
48:36
Speaker 1: the greatest hockey player that has ever played in the
48:40
Speaker 1: talked to Wayne Gretzky about how many shots he took.
48:43
Speaker 1: And Wayne Gretzky said, you miss 100% of the shots
48:48
Speaker 1: you never take. So you only make 50% of the
48:58
Speaker 1: time gathering together for family worship. You will miss 100%
49:04
Speaker 1: of the time that you refuse to start. And God
49:12
Speaker 1: will bless it. Them that honor me, I will honor.
49:19
Speaker 1: That's his promise. And he's worthy of it. And there's
49:26
Speaker 1: no better investment that you can make. There's no guarantee
49:36
Speaker 1: that this will bring you the family of your dreams
49:38
Speaker 1: and that But we don't do this because it brings
49:43
Speaker 1: us a guarantee. We do this because our God is
49:46
Speaker 1: worthy and it is our desire to honor him and
49:51
Speaker 1: to call on him to bless us and to bless
49:56
Speaker 1: our children and our children's children. Let's pray. Father, how
50:11
Speaker 1: we praise you and thank you for the time that
50:15
Speaker 1: we've had here today, for the investment that's been made
50:19
Speaker 1: in us today, for the blessing that it has been
50:22
Speaker 1: to be together today, to gather around your word. We
50:28
Speaker 1: thank you for the investment that you've made in us
50:30
Speaker 1: and we pray that it will bear much fruit. We pray, Father,
50:36
Speaker 1: that as we think about gospel-centered lives in the midst
50:42
Speaker 1: of a culture that is anything but. That we would
50:48
Speaker 1: recognize our own need for the person and work of Christ.
50:53
Speaker 1: And beyond that, recognize the need of our spouse and
50:57
Speaker 1: our children, our friends, our family, our neighbors. And that
51:06
Speaker 1: in recognizing those needs, Submit ourselves to you, trusting you
51:13
Speaker 1: to make us ready and able to bring the gospel
51:19
Speaker 1: to bear as and when you bring opportunities to do so.
51:25
Speaker 1: And Father, we do pray that it would bear much fruit.
51:30
Speaker 1: For it is our desire that Christ would indeed have
51:33
Speaker 1: the fullness of the reward for which he died. Make
51:39
Speaker 1: that our greatest hope. And may we live like it is.
51:45
Speaker 1: For Christ's sake. And we ask this in his name. Amen.