Latest / The Danger Zoo / Borrowed Skin / Boo Hag

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Borrowed Skin / Boo Hag · The Danger Zoo

0:03
Password accepted. Welcome to the Danger Zoo.
0:09
Welcome to the Department of Anomalous and Non Human Genetic
0:12
Entities, Reconnaissance and Zoological Occult Operations.
0:16
I am Coyote, the game warden, and I'm here with my boys and
0:21
Saudi and Hazy. They went up a level, so they
0:23
got some new equipment. You guys want to read that off?
0:26
Yeah. Do it.
0:32
Oh, am I going first? Sure.
0:35
Well, so my new thing that I have, it's called the glass Man
0:43
Shield. That's not the new thing you
0:45
have that yet. The new thing you have is in
0:47
yellow. OK I I know I see it.
0:51
I just my first time seeing the glass man shield too.
0:56
You have that from when you fought Zamaya the dragon.
0:59
Oh, I got to keep that. Yeah.
1:01
Yeah, and I didn't get to keep my spear.
1:04
Oh fucking cry about it cunt. You got the axe from the
1:07
zombies. The undead.
1:09
Technically the. Fucking useless ass regular ass
1:11
axe. Next time, don't lose your
1:13
spear. What do you want?
1:15
Get him. Maybe you start holding on shit.
1:18
Yeah, you've lost two weapons. And died.
1:21
And night out, can't talk. Night out lost his knife in the
1:23
last map and he never went back to pick it up.
1:26
Oh. And still got my bow.
1:29
Just run down to Walmart, get another knife.
1:32
So anywho, so we had the tanks armor because you know, I am the
1:38
party's tank, so the armor should be named after me.
1:43
The same ballistic proof vest with alloy steal from a tank.
1:50
There's upgrades and enhancements and then there is
1:53
me ripping plating off an M1 Air Abrams and shoving in a tactical
1:57
vest because Kevlar feels like pyjamas.
2:02
Pieces of a tank force fitted into a vest that now weighs
2:06
approximately like regret plus pride.
2:09
It smells faintly of diesel and poor decisions.
2:13
So, fun fact, if you didn't know, this Coyote Abrams will
2:17
run off a diesel. They run off AJP 5.
2:20
Big difference. Look man, look.
2:23
Do I? Do I look like a tank boy to
2:24
you? No, I'm a train boy, Goo.
2:28
Tweens. That's right, not the one on
2:31
tracks. Move, move along, hazy.
2:36
What's your What's your new thing you got?
2:40
Well, it says NWO detects unnatural frequencies and tracks
2:47
fresh frequency trails with a with a successful perception
2:52
instinct wisdom. Check NWO, which stands for New
2:57
World Optics, a pair of cheap 90s new metal sunglasses grabbed
3:03
with the spectral grasp arm at a gas station, accidentally
3:07
warping the lenses. Now they reveal people's
3:10
frequencies, their underlying energy signatures.
3:14
Humans resonate steadily, while supernatural beings pulse on
3:19
different wavelengths. If the trail is fresh, the way
3:22
you can track the lingering frequency of someone or
3:24
something that recently passed through, very nice.
3:28
That's. Pretty cool.
3:29
That's pretty. Cool.
3:30
Very nice. I see what you did with the NWO.
3:34
Yeah, and we got a new member. Grandpa, Grandpa's here.
3:39
Say hello, Grandpa. Hi, Grandpa.
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Hi, Grandpa. We I invited grandpa because
3:45
pretty Kitty is not able to join us so we were lacking on the
3:48
bald white men with glasses. So I have a quota to fill.
3:52
Get out of minority. Yeah, So you guys, I have failed
3:57
to bring Grandpa up to speed with anything.
3:59
I just kind of hired him because I used to serve with him and I
4:02
hired him through a temp agency when I saw his name and he has
4:05
no idea what we're doing besides basically supernatural
4:09
mercenaries. So please, if you have questions
4:12
Grandpa, ask them or you guys can bring them up to speed.
4:15
Seems to be a reoccurring trend with you Coyote.
4:19
Hiring people I know, yeah. Just off the cuff.
4:24
It's a good old boys club, yeah. Nope, not that.
4:30
Well, I mean. Sounds like it by definition.
4:33
That's all, be fair. Yeah.
4:37
Technically, Hazy's the Gypsy. That's because no, no females
4:41
want to hang out with us. We have fun here.
4:44
What's the hell with the females that's gay?
4:46
He's got that right, you know? You know women like Dicks.
4:50
Therefore, liking women makes you gay.
4:54
Let's be honest. The straightest thing a man can
4:58
do is dominate another man. That's all I'm saying. $20 is
5:02
$20. I agree, that's so masculine.
5:07
Yeah, the Greeks determined this thousands of years ago.
5:11
That's true. Well, is that all the questions
5:13
you have about the campaign, grandpa?
5:16
Yeah, I just know it's either anti-gay or super gay, depending
5:20
on how you look at it. Oh well, it's just part of the
5:23
fun as you find it out. We love to ride that line, pun
5:27
intended. Or like flirt it I.
5:30
Mean you know, you know we like spiders and.
5:33
No, we don't. Zombies with big boobies and.
5:36
Why? Thanks.
5:38
All right, well, if we don't have anything else thoughty, do
5:41
me a favour, go ahead and read that mission.
5:43
Start here. I'm honoured that you think I
5:45
can read. I will try my best after the
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Great Calamity, the White Coffin and Sipsy Alabama Retrieval
5:54
mission. Oh, sorry.
5:57
I'm I'm going to do unspeakable things to you.
6:06
Hey, we're in Georgia, buddy. It's it's going to be
6:08
noticeable. Go on.
6:11
The team hauls the coffin through North Georgia's hardwood
6:15
forest, reaching a Riverside cabin.
6:19
The Riverside cabin is a compact timber lodge tucked against the
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Chattahoochee's bend. A single large main room holds a
6:26
heavy wooden table, a worn couch on a green rug, and a simple
6:31
hearth. 2 small bedrooms sit off the side, each with narrow beds
6:37
and plain blankets. Those blankets look very colored
6:41
to me from here, but I might just be.
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Far from plain. They're plain colored.
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OK, there you go. Plain colored.
6:51
A modest kitchen corner with a cast iron stove lines one wall
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at at entrance, where at the entrance, I'm assuming is a
7:00
large room with a pool table and a chess set with three windows.
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Looking over the river. You know, this is the type of
7:07
place that like women dream of being impregnated at.
7:12
Sure. Look man, I'm women.
7:17
I told you to stay out of my Kindle.
7:20
So all that smut you're eating? We're all gathered here at the
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fucking table eating dinner after a hard, hard travelled Rd.
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Up here up the Chattahoochee River.
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Way out on Chattahoochee. Make it hotter than a hoochie,
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coochie. But as we're sitting here eating
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and I tell you guys, all right, so the coffin is in the broom to
7:46
the South of me. I shoved it in there.
7:48
It's not. It's not touching the ground.
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I barricaded the window so nothing can get in there.
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Put a bunch of salt all over the place and I put some protective
7:56
sigils all over it now. We're not going to need those,
7:59
right? Sigils.
8:02
Any of that. I also put a protective sigil on
8:05
everyone's butt hole here just to be safe while.
8:08
You. That's what you were doing back
8:09
there last night. No, I was doing other stuff.
8:12
This was like 5 minutes ago. I did this to you.
8:14
Keep up. Any of your.
8:16
Best thanks. That's what my wife says.
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Well, while we're sitting here, I turn the radio on and you hear
8:23
a police scanner go off. All units stand by for an ATL
8:28
and a BOLO. What does that mean?
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Bolo. ATL and BOLO.
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Be on the lookout, Be on the lookout.
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OK, what about Atli? Don't remember.
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Then why the fuck did you say it?
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Ass ass to ass to leather. ATL hoe.
8:48
Attempt to locate. Oh well, that's not fun.
8:52
Attempt to locate and be on the lookout.
8:56
Be advised there's an active arrest warrant for Hazy.
8:58
Adult male, approximately 5 eleven, 140 lbs long black hair
9:03
past his ears, approximately 4 inch black beard.
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Often wears a grey dark sweater, tactical vest, gloves.
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He is of gypsy descent and is armed.
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Be advised intelligence reports indicates this particular gypsy
9:16
specimen demonstrates the rare and highly concerning ability to
9:19
read written language. Repeat suspect can read units.
9:25
Units are advised 200 estimate cognitive capabilities.
9:28
Subject is wanted in connection with the following charges.
9:31
Aggravated assault on a minor felony, child abuse, assault
9:35
causing bodily injury, endangerment of a child.
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Possible weapons violations pending investigation.
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Incident involves video evidence allegedly showing the subject
9:45
striking an 8 year old male juvenile while the child was on
9:48
the ground. Subject was last seen travelling
9:50
the east of Sipsey, Alabama. If located, detained and
9:53
notified county dispatch immediately.
9:55
Use caution and BOLO OH. You're going to talk that one?
9:58
I'll fuck that kid. Is there a tip line?
10:05
1800 call now. They did not.
10:08
They did not put a tip light on there, but I'm sure you can.
10:10
How useful was that bull bulletin?
10:13
They got you down pretty good there.
10:16
Oh no, no, they nailed me to AT. All right, time to shave, dye
10:20
your hair and strip down. Now even the part where you
10:22
almost beat an 8 year old to death just for just for.
10:27
Y'all, y'all wouldn't Hey to be to be honest, fuck that kid,
10:31
right? No, there was a 12 foot zombie
10:35
deer standing in front of you and you decided to kick the 8
10:38
year old on the ground instead. That makes sense to me,
10:42
actually. It was pretty fine though.
10:47
Now you got to BOLO and now you got to be careful around people.
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This is why we're in the woods. Your choices have consequences.
10:56
You guys must say the thing. I'm not really good at being
10:58
careful, all right? All you got to do is not beat
11:01
small children. I'm going to be honest.
11:05
Or at least look around, make sure there's no cameras.
11:08
OK, or snitches. We're preaching the wrong thing
11:11
here. The not beating children should
11:14
be the highlight of this conversation.
11:17
Yeah, of course. Is there anything you guys want
11:20
to do before we go to bed for the night?
11:23
So what are these yellow things on the table?
11:25
Are those candles or is that food?
11:28
They're candles. It's.
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A lot of candles. Can I eat 1?
11:32
They're for the love of God. You can.
11:35
Is it lit? Not anymore.
11:38
You blew it out before you ate it.
11:40
Yeah. All right, eat it.
11:45
Oh, Grandpa, just so you're aware, you can see on the
11:46
screen, I'll roll the dice for everyone, and then you just add
11:50
whatever your modifier is. We do this number here so people
11:52
don't cheat. He thinks that we were cheating.
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Technically, that wouldn't stop people from never mind, don't
12:01
worry about. It also for your investigation
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stuff I was doing the swapping it where like high was bad or
12:10
low was bad. I'm just going to roll for you
12:12
and not say it in this. Tell you what?
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Tell you if you see something or not something.
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Bottom like this? Nice.
12:19
OK, So what I'm actually going to do instead of eating that
12:23
candle, I see outside that there is a axe.
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You ate it. OK, So what I'm going to do
12:28
after I finish eating that candle then is I'm going to go
12:31
outside. I want to grab that axe on the
12:35
stump that's to the east from the front door.
12:39
You go through the side door here, you go out there and you
12:42
grab the axe. What is everybody else doing?
12:45
Jose, we don't really know what's around in this building,
12:48
correct? No, I mean, we explored the
12:52
bedrooms to the West. We, you know, we started the
12:56
fire over here. We put the coffin in the room to
12:59
the South of me and we know there's a pool table and a chess
13:03
table in the room to the right of us.
13:05
That's in the kitchen to the east of us as well.
13:09
Yeah, there's also some sausage links in the kitchen that
13:11
actually. Look pretty good.
13:13
I got your sausage links. Oh.
13:15
I'm there kitchen it is. Is that like a storage area or
13:20
like a work shed to the east? Well, I see the outhouse.
13:24
Why the fuck does the outhouse have a sink?
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That's the nicest outhouse I've ever seen.
13:28
It's not really a sink, it's just a bowl of water.
13:31
I'll say if anything I'd go explore that that workshop it
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looks like almost to the east before you go to the out house.
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Yeah. Yeah, Hazy goes to the kitchen.
13:43
I'm going to I'm going to make everybody some snacks.
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Night Owl goes to the workshop out here and you're at the door.
13:53
It looks more like a shed to me. Let's see if it's unlocked.
13:58
This one is a shed, yes. Suck it, night owl.
14:02
Fine, sorry, the fucking shed. It's a what is a Roadhouse?
14:07
Yeah, what? Roadhouse.
14:08
Roadhouse. Roadhouse, Grandpa.
14:12
What do you want to do? I guess I'm going to screw it.
14:15
Go to the kitchen, see what's. Search the kitchen, see if
14:20
there's what food we got. What's cooking?
14:23
OK. You guys want to do an
14:24
investigation role see sure. Do you have a car 98 on your
14:30
back? It's supposed to be a Henry
14:33
single load, or originally it's supposed to be just a Henry.
14:39
OK. Hey Zia, are you looking for
14:40
food or are you looking for just looking?
14:43
I was just going to make everybody some snacks so they
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don't snitch. You know me out to the FBI.
14:49
You're making snacks. Little little bribery.
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Yeah, little bribery. Snacks.
14:56
You, you can't stop me. I'm just going to do it.
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No matter what, grandpa. So you find a little scribbled
15:05
piece of paper in one of the drawers next, or underneath the
15:09
cutting board that says don't sleep by the river with your
15:13
back laid bare for the Boo hag drift silent on the mountain
15:17
air. If you wake up hollow and
15:19
stripped of your skin, you'll know she was there and she let
15:22
herself in. Win back your hide for the full
15:25
moon climbs high, or she'll wear your face till the day you die.
15:30
Yeah, that's fucking terrifying. What the fuck, let's go find
15:34
another place. I'm good.
15:36
I found a Valentine's note. So just don't sleep naked.
15:40
Don't sleep naked and the old lady won't steal your skin.
15:42
And got it. Maybe I wanted to steal my skin.
15:46
So who wants to volunteer to go sleep naked tonight?
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I'm going to take the first ship whenever we go to sleep tonight,
15:53
so you guys are aware. OK.
15:55
Oh, you're staying up OK. Yeah, people are fucking trying
15:59
to kill us. There's literally cops looking
16:01
for Hazy. Yeah, but we're not hazy, so
16:04
we'll be fine. Fuck the police.
16:06
We're not hazy, but the Veil's looking for us.
16:09
The Veil Grandpa's A-Team I used to work for that's also looking
16:13
for this coffin that we've been hired to move back home to West
16:17
Virginia. Mountain Mama.
16:19
So there's a little bit of info for you.
16:23
Is it my turn again? I have something I want to do.
16:26
Yeah, it's your turn again. I'm you know what, I'm going to
16:30
let that one slide. I'm it's.
16:35
Because I gave him a reach around.
16:37
There's a pile of rocks slightly to my northwest.
16:42
I want to flip over the rocks I. Assume you want to look
16:46
underneath them when you flip them.
16:49
Sure. Nope, just slip them.
16:53
Hey, you never know. You flip them and you see some
16:57
grubs. Can I eat?
16:59
Them a little a little lizard just takes off towards the
17:02
river. Get.
17:04
Away. Can you eat the grubs?
17:05
Yes, absolutely. You can eat the grubs.
17:06
OK. Well, I eat the grubs does.
17:11
He have autism. Moving on night out, what are
17:14
you doing? I want to see this doors
17:17
unlocked and then investigate this shed or workshop, whatever
17:21
the hell you want to call it. OK, let's see if it's unlocked.
17:26
So yeah, that'd be 17. OK, yeah, you got to open the
17:30
store and it's creaks open and you step inside, right?
17:37
Yeah, investigate. See what I can find.
17:40
Where would you like to investigate?
17:43
Let's start over the workbench right there to the southwest, or
17:46
the chest, whatever it's called. Oh well, this is happening
17:51
faster than I expected. Oh.
17:53
Shit. That's what my last girlfriend
17:55
said. Well, she was tied up.
17:57
I'd say that too. You know my axe.
18:02
Yeah, we both do. Oh, so you find.
18:06
Hey, yeah, we do know your axe. What the fuck?
18:10
You find? An old hunting charm necklace.
18:13
It's bone entwine. Neat.
18:17
Don't put it on. Hold on, let me roll something.
18:20
Oh. Fuck.
18:22
And he turns into sand. Wow, what a hell of a fucking
18:26
way to start turning the sand. OK, yeah, you put it on.
18:30
Good for you. That is so ominous.
18:35
Yeah, I don't. I don't like how you said that.
18:38
I'm not ominous, I'm American. What?
18:41
I don't. See, you're on.
18:42
Actually, you're part Mexican, so.
18:45
Moving on, Hazy. What are you doing, girl?
18:48
I guess I'm going to bring out my charcuterie board.
18:52
You know that I've prepared. Put it on the table.
18:56
You're a charcoochie board. Charcoochie.
19:00
And then I'm going to go outside like head that way.
19:04
Wow, what a great mom. You made snacks for us before
19:07
you went outside. Don't don't tell on me.
19:10
Appreciate it. I'm going to start eating it
19:11
while you're going. Why is it so like you're eating
19:15
a Dick? That's how you eat your
19:16
charcutchi. That's how I eat Charcutchi baby
19:22
AC goes outside. What are you doing outside?
19:27
Let's see, I guess I'm going to go towards the dock and look out
19:31
into the, you know, the water reminisce a little bit.
19:35
As he's walking past me, I put my leg out and trip him.
19:40
Oh, are you doing a standoff right now?
19:45
No, it's just a little friendly. It's it's a little friendly
19:48
prank. All right, roll for it. 19.
19:55
What's your AC AZ? 19.
19:59
Oh my my bad I forgot I put I put a point in the strength when
20:03
I leveled up. So actually 20.
20:05
But you know, you'd be at what are you talking about?
20:07
You're, you got 22 strength. That's only 17.
20:11
Oh shit, yeah, you're right, my bad.
20:13
Wait, didn't I roll 15? Yeah, 15 + 2. +6.
20:21
Oh, yeah, I forgot. That's attitude.
20:22
Yeah, no, you're right. You're right.
20:24
That's 21. Eat shit, Hazy.
20:31
Give us a fall sound. That's how you fucking fall.
20:39
You, you need to be arrested. That's fucking insane.
20:42
Don't fall like that anymore, Grandpa, what are you doing?
20:48
I'm going to look at whichever like those bedrooms with the one
20:52
closest to the water, so the one with the green, red bed.
20:57
I'm just going to see if there's anything weird in those rooms or
21:00
that room, such as like, you know, someone with no skin.
21:06
So you come out to the main room here?
21:09
Yeah, you, you, you go into the the northwest bedroom and you're
21:15
going to investigate. Dang.
21:18
OK, OK, let me pull it up. You found something?
21:23
You found a used pocket pussy? Perfect.
21:30
You find underneath one of the beds a small overturned jar of
21:34
dry rice under the green bed. Someone knew something about
21:39
some Sparets? I don't know what that is a
21:44
reference to. But my character know anything
21:47
about that? Your character he.
21:51
Is old and wise. No, you just see a bunch of rice
21:56
in a jar and it's spilled. You could say something to
22:00
somebody. 00. Does that work like spill salt?
22:05
Technically, Night owl would know.
22:07
I would know what it means. And maybe hazy.
22:10
We're going to find out Hazy. Do you know what that means?
22:13
Nope. OK so just night owl and I know
22:15
what that means. All right.
22:18
Well, for the time being, I'm not going to touch it and I
22:21
would probably walk out. And since your character is the
22:24
closest, I would ask you about it.
22:26
Oh, OK, so you come out coming to me.
22:29
What's up? As I shoved charcuteries in my
22:32
face. I'm hold.
22:35
What's up? Wake you up, fellow.
22:42
So if you're actually, yeah, I'm like, well, there's some rice
22:44
over in that bedroom underneath one of the beds stepped over.
22:49
Probably still good though. OK, as you tell me about this,
22:52
I, I hear rice in the bedroom and I get up to go get it and
22:55
then you say it's tipped over and I sit back down and I go, no
22:57
thank you. Nope, leave it alone.
23:00
What the fuck? I will not be.
23:02
I will not be touching that rice.
23:04
I'm going to come skipping into the room.
23:06
Hey guys, is there anything you guys want me to touch?
23:10
Oh God no. Last time you tell us something,
23:12
you got a bowl open on you. No, sorry.
23:15
Sammy's not here. Sorry.
23:17
You could have said no, there's no kids in here for you to kick.
23:19
But I got a really cool arm. Damn.
23:22
It OK, bye. I'm going to kick rocks, I
23:25
guess. Give me one second, I got a
23:26
phone call. Riot.
23:30
Totally ruined the magic. Spilt rice, you see.
23:34
Sorry, I had to hang up on my kid.
23:39
So no, don't touch that rice. The reason why you have rice
23:42
there and why there's a broom hanging over the front door of
23:45
the cabin is any particular Appalachian monsters come in
23:48
here? They kind of have to stop and
23:51
they have to like count straws or have to count rice.
23:53
It's kind of like the fairies on Supernatural.
23:56
We don't speak of the name, it's.
23:58
A deterrent? So leave everything alone on the
24:03
front porch. Well, I.
24:05
If you could touch it if you want, but I wouldn't.
24:07
I for one, I'm going to you see there is like a little like
24:13
Cliff in the bottom right hand corner of the map.
24:16
I want to go get on top of that Cliff.
24:20
All right, you travel SE all the way down to these rocks over
24:24
here and you're going to climb it.
24:27
So go ahead and we will do an athletics role.
24:33
Oh no. Oh no.
24:39
We roll that. That was kind of it kind of, you
24:41
know, it wasn't completely, it got stuck on the wall.
24:45
OK, shut up nerd. Go touch some grass.
24:47
You know what? For one Peck on the cheek, I'll
24:51
give you a re roll. You act like that's a
24:53
punishment. I know that's all he's been
24:55
wanting to do. Let's.
24:56
Go baby, what do you get? 18.
25:02
OK, you climb to the top of this Ridge and you get to the top
25:06
here and you can see you can't see really anything to the
25:09
South. There's too many trees blocking
25:11
your way. Still, you can see over the
25:13
river. You see the river is pretty
25:16
calm. It's it's nice and easy.
25:18
But then you see something Bob up for a quit 2nd and it just
25:22
goes right back into the water. Nope.
25:25
And it Let's see, let's give you a perception rule. 1.
25:34
Yeah, you're not really sure what that was?
25:36
But it was something, that's for sure.
25:39
It was something weird. Do I notice the book in the
25:44
river directly to the north? That's not a book, that is the
25:48
logo for the map that we use from Dice Grimorium.
25:52
Thanks Dice Grimorium, go support them on Patreon and
25:55
shit. Thanks, Dice Grimorium.
25:58
Is. There anything else to inspect
26:01
in here or is that just a table over there to the North East of
26:05
the room I'm in? That's a good question.
26:10
You can do whatever your heart desires, pumpkin.
26:14
God dammit, that's not a good answer.
26:17
It's a good answer. It's not the answer you want.
26:20
Yeah, no shit. I guess I will go and
26:22
investigate what looks like the other crate to the northeast.
26:28
Yeah, you just turn over a table and another rat runs by you.
26:32
This one stops and he looks back at you.
26:34
This rat looks familiar to you and he he looks at you like you
26:37
look familiar and then he takes off.
26:41
I don't like that. It was obviously Ratatouille.
26:46
Yeah, must have been. Well, I guess since everybody's
26:49
like in investigation mode, I noticed this and I'm going to go
26:53
run through the kitchen into that storage room to the South
26:56
of it and investigate. How do you notice everyone's
26:59
investigation mode? Everyone's all the time.
27:01
I mean, everybody's just looking at shit being mean to me and
27:05
stuff, so I'm just going to buy my business in the storage room.
27:09
You deserved being tricked you. Physically assaulted a child on
27:14
multiple occasions. Same child.
27:16
God, Kate, you're still talking about this?
27:19
Jeez. No, we're not.
27:21
The cops are. I fucked that kid.
27:24
All right, so you're going South, you said where the coffin
27:26
is. No, no, no, no.
27:28
Through the kitchen to that storage room to the South there.
27:32
Oh, OK, so you go to the kitchen to the South in the storage room
27:36
and you want a investigation? Sure.
27:40
What's your stat? What's some stats bro Let.
27:44
Me. See your staties girl.
27:48
Oh, it's just a one. I just noticed there's cut
27:51
chairs in the bedrooms. There are.
27:55
Hell yeah, bro. Why wouldn't there be?
27:59
What the fuck is this? My mom said good things come to
28:02
those who wait. There's a cook chair at work.
28:05
Hell yeah, bro. All right, hold on.
28:11
Let's see. Let me see what you find.
28:14
Oh, I got to roll AD 8 for you. Hold on.
28:16
Oh no. 7. No.
28:20
What number was that? 7.
28:23
We. We.
28:24
I don't know what language that is.
28:26
Is it Peru Fonte? Just sweet Napoleon.
28:31
Shut up, French boy. Oh.
28:34
You find 50 feet of braided river rope.
28:38
What? Oh hell yeah.
28:41
It smells damp, like algae. What?
28:45
Makes a rope, a river rope. Because it's moist.
28:51
God, educate yourself. I'm.
28:56
Well, I'm allergic to mildew, so I'm going to put that down on
28:59
the floor. Anybody else can enjoy that
29:02
Wait? Did you touch it?
29:03
Yep. Did I touch it?
29:05
You said you put it down on the floor.
29:07
Sounds like you touched it. Sons of bitches, maybe I did
29:10
touch it. All of a sudden, you see the
29:13
Alabama's Highway Patrol helicopter circling over.
29:17
We got them boys. All right, you're going to make
29:21
a constitutional roll real quick.
29:23
Oh shit. What's the Constitution?
29:27
Let's see. The one that says Constitution.
29:29
So what was that? A 15?
29:32
So is it 16? Yeah, OK, Yeah, You drop that
29:35
and, you know, you clap your hands off and all is well.
29:38
That ends well. Is it?
29:41
Sweet. Should.
29:44
Have picked it up with your weird hand.
29:46
I'm going to go in the other bedroom and see if this if I see
29:49
any of the same like you know, stuff underneath the beds or
29:52
anything like investigating that room.
29:54
Don't forget to investigate the cut chair.
29:56
OK, you go into the bedroom to the West of you and the door
30:04
slams behind you and the lights go off and then all the all of
30:08
the candles go out and now you're going to make your first
30:11
ever scaredy puss roll. Yay.
30:16
I don't know can you get? Can you see that it's 93 on my
30:18
screen? I can pretty screenshot this.
30:20
So the problem with that grandpa is you're scaredy puss, right?
30:24
Is is a 21, so you have to roll underneath that number.
30:30
That's. Oh you, you scare scared.
30:33
You, you shit your pants. You scared?
30:37
Well, OK, see what's going to happen is you start hearing a
30:41
voice telling you don't trust that one.
30:45
And that's it. That's all you hear is a voice
30:48
telling you don't trust that one.
30:50
I'm that one. They call me that guy.
30:54
He's talking about that fart that you want to take.
30:57
Yeah, I wouldn't trust the fart either, not at your age.
31:01
Am I able to walk out of the room?
31:03
Yeah, as soon as you hear that thing, the door just kind of
31:06
creaks back open on you and the candles light back up.
31:10
Quick question just from like a character thing, wouldn't my
31:13
character have made a noise that anyone would have heard like
31:15
that I was scared or would I the only one that like died more
31:17
freeze? Are you more froze?
31:21
The door slammed right next to me but I was eating and the
31:25
noises I make when I eat are pretty loud so I did not hear
31:29
the door slammed next to me or you whimper in the other room.
31:33
1. Of these banana shaped fruits
31:38
come from. You're welcome.
31:43
Grandpa, do you want to exit that room?
31:45
Yes. All right, you exit the room.
31:49
Let's see, what am I going to do the rock to myself?
31:54
I'm going to flip it over. It's like a little kid looking
31:59
for a fucking buried treasure. Oh please, Candy.
32:04
Do I flip over the rock? Do I succeed?
32:08
Never. You must dig a hole to China.
32:12
My head cannon is he's trying to think up a way to punish me for
32:16
wasting my turn. No, you, you flipped it over.
32:18
You flipped it over. What's your AC?
32:23
Did you add in my new armor on the AC or do I need to add that?
32:27
It it's added. So 18.
32:32
OK, OK, cool. You're bitten by a copperhead.
32:37
Ah, you got to watch out for nails.
32:40
Jackass. You're going to die.
32:43
Better put a tourniquet on. Here's what I Here's how I
32:46
react. Are you ready for this?
32:48
Ready for some voice acting? Let's go, Shakespeare.
32:52
So I come running down the Cliff or the boulders, wherever they
32:57
are, and a dead Sprint back to the building, screaming, and the
33:05
night out here sees me blur past the window.
33:11
I run through the front door holding my hand, and I look at
33:14
you and I go wow me, wow me. Just they bit me.
33:22
Who said it was your hand? Thank you, beat me to a night
33:25
out. I look at thought in.
33:26
I look at your hand and there's nothing wrong with their hand,
33:30
but you notice some droplets of blood.
33:33
On your pants. On your pants.
33:36
No. Yes.
33:39
It found the smallest target to hit.
33:45
That's me. Why?
33:47
Why is it all we learn? Dicks I.
33:51
Don't know. All right.
33:52
I pulled the knife off the charcuterie board.
33:53
I'm like, drop your trowel. No.
33:56
Got to suck out the venom. Yeah, I'll let you suck it out.
34:00
You're not drop drop your pants. Can I go go ahead, start sucking
34:05
baby. Hey, I want to come running out
34:07
and light a cigarette and watch. Don't forget to sit in the cut
34:12
chair. Sit in the chair.
34:15
Who do you do the dare for? Grandpa, do you?
34:18
Would you like a reaction to this situation you're
34:20
witnessing? I would my character smokes
34:23
because now he does probably also start smoking like fucking
34:28
degenerates. Start sucking, baby, I run my
34:32
fingers through your hair. I look at your manhood and all
34:38
around. I even lift it up a little bit
34:40
and I move the testicles and I look at yoga.
34:43
There's nothing here. Like literally there's, there's
34:49
here. There's no wound here.
34:52
Oh. You're hearing any?
34:53
Oh, it's cold out here, I get that.
34:55
It's fine, man. Whoa, dude's here.
34:58
Well, since we're. Already here, you might as well,
35:02
you know, like. I rolled a ball tap.
35:04
I can't just. I go to ball tap you, but I
35:12
accidentally just like stick my finger in your pee hole a little
35:15
bit. You, you throw it like I, No,
35:17
you just. Fail.
35:21
A crit fail would be like you accidentally jerk me off.
35:26
I pulled my finger back and you just hear a little.
35:33
I go, I go to the fucking kitchen and I'll wash my fucking
35:36
hands. Put your pants up.
35:38
So where did I get bit at you? Didn't get bit.
35:41
The snake tried to bite you and its fangs hit its zipper and it
35:43
made it bleed a little bit on your pants and you just
35:45
panicked. I want to go back up on my
35:49
Cliff. Oh my God.
35:52
No, no, no. It's your.
35:53
It's your turn. You wait.
35:56
So right at that window to the east of the pool table.
36:01
Is that like a cellar door or what?
36:05
No, that's a stack of Timba. Bunch of logs for the fire.
36:10
Timbuktu. All right, I guess we're done in
36:16
here then. Or are we?
36:18
Sure, sure, sure, sure. I just do a general initiative
36:23
role or not initiative but investigation role for the whole
36:26
spot. Yeah, you look around and you're
36:29
like, it's dusty. It's real dusty in here.
36:36
OK, then I'll leave. Back to you, hazy smoking.
36:42
What are you doing all? Right, I guess I'm going to pull
36:44
my pants back up and go towards. The hold on.
36:49
Why were your pants down? No.
36:50
You didn't mean it. Why do you think?
36:53
Are you am I going to walk out of this kitchen?
36:55
You 2 are doing docking stations.
36:57
No, he was in the cook. Chair So he was about to witness
37:01
the sexual act of the century. Of course he was excited.
37:06
Can't blame a man for dreaming. OK, pants up.
37:11
Go do something besides assault a child.
37:14
At least you pull your pants up for that all.
37:18
Right. I'm going to walk towards the
37:20
pool table room and towards that I guess living room area towards
37:28
the South. OK, and when you walk in you
37:33
notice that all the windows are open in here and you distinctly
37:38
remember that I told you I had shut and secured all the windows
37:41
when we first got here. It didn't side.
37:45
I don't like that. And you just hear a woman
37:49
humming outside. Just it sounds like an
37:51
Appalachian folk tune kind of humming.
37:54
Is it like a like a whimsical hum?
37:57
Nope, close the window. There's a full of whimsy.
38:00
Hazy. If you're ever going to listen
38:01
to me this one time, just fucking close the windows.
38:03
Don't do it. Well, you don't know.
38:05
Don't you met a game? I do like me some folk tunes.
38:10
Looks like a perfect opportunity to jump to the window.
38:13
But Hazy does like does love jumping through windows, but all
38:15
the windows are open. Yeah, there's no temptation.
38:19
So you got to close them first to jump through.
38:21
So like, would you, would you consider that humble?
38:25
Whimsical. It is.
38:29
It is melodic. But it doesn't have any whimsy
38:33
to it. No.
38:35
The whim factor is just not there.
38:38
It's very motherly sounding to you.
38:42
I do. I do love my Appalachian
38:44
mommies. God forbid we have a good family
38:53
vibe going. That's what I'm saying.
38:55
Wait a minute. Absolutely.
38:56
Not that's not very nice sounding to me.
38:59
OK, what do you want to do in this room?
39:02
Well, I guess investigate. In general or an area?
39:07
I also want to go look out the window towards said whimsy.
39:13
It's not whimsy. You look out into the woods and
39:16
you see a ghostly figure of a woman from old and aged like the
39:23
late 1800s. She points N past you like she's
39:29
pointing into the building and then just with a slight breeze
39:37
she's gone. I'm.
39:40
Going to go across the radio. Anybody else seeing any creepy
39:44
old bitches that just disappear in the wind?
39:47
Nope. Just a creepy rat.
39:50
Nope. All right, so we got a rat, we
39:53
got a creepy woman. Anybody else?
39:56
Got a thing? But I did find a necklace.
40:00
I mean, yeah, Coyote was on his knees in front of me about to
40:02
suck me. I go over the radio.
40:06
I was not about to suck him. I was going to cut his Dick off.
40:11
Right, your finger entered my pee hole.
40:15
That's different. I don't know if you've ever
40:17
gotten your penis sucked. That's not part of it.
40:20
It's not. I told you to stay off Walking
40:23
Street. My uncle told me it was.
40:27
Jesus. All right, we're going to call
40:30
it for the night. Gentlemen, Everyone, I'm going
40:33
to take the first watch You guys fucking go get in the beds.
40:35
Aw. What if I want to sleep on the
40:38
Cliff? Hold on, hold on.
40:40
I just want to state that I'm going into whichever pet didn't
40:43
have the rice underneath it and in the room where something
40:46
didn't happen. Which which one had rice
40:49
underneath it? Well I don't know if y'all know
40:53
but I like to sleep naked under the stars so I'm going to go
40:56
outside and strip down naked. OK thoughty hazy you guys go
41:00
back to the cliffs. Enjoy your night out there.
41:04
Hope you don't get bit by the same fucking snake grandpa.
41:09
What You said the rice is in the northwest bedroom.
41:13
You could sleep in the southwest bedroom if you want.
41:16
No, no. No good.
41:19
I mean you, you can also take the couch over there.
41:21
You can watch the front door. I'm going to be in the pool
41:24
room, keep and watch because I can see most of the places
41:27
through the windows. Quick question, that where that
41:30
tree is, you said you got a fireplace in that tree.
41:32
Is there a window right there or is that just a solid wall?
41:36
That is a solid wall girl. Awesome.
41:40
I'll take the room to have the rice.
41:42
All right, Night owl goes to Northwest room with the rasp.
41:47
Don't eat that rice. Nope.
41:49
You know, you know better. You want the you want the red
41:51
Ranger bed or you want the green Ranger bed?
41:53
Red Ranger, baby. Well, when it's my turn, I'm
41:58
taking Green Ranger baby JDF all day.
42:01
Grandpa, you're going to take that couch?
42:05
Yeah. All right, Grandpa takes the
42:07
couch. My girls over here, they're
42:11
going to go outside and sleep on this Cliff face here, guys, you
42:17
guys make. It up in there.
42:20
I am going to go sit on the pool table and I will wake you guys
42:26
when it's no longer my turn for watch.
42:30
Sure you will if you don't fall asleep.
42:32
Give me you know what? You're going to stop calling my
42:36
storytelling right here now, Sir.
42:40
That's why we're supposed to be watching pairs.
42:44
I got those two outside. It'll be all right.
42:46
Yeah. So the Chattahoochee murmurs
42:48
outside, cicadas seeing like, static in the trees as the sun
42:51
turns the sky pumpkin orange. Before setting, I take guard
42:55
duty while the rest of my team tucks in for the night.
42:59
All of the Danger Zoo falls into deep slumber, dreaming of, you
43:03
know, whatever you're into. Like distilleries run by goth
43:06
baddies, jugglets on trampolines, other people having
43:10
less money than them. Nope.
43:11
Nope, baby birds. Not here.
43:14
Kicking that one. Kid Good Christian women, Good
43:17
Christian women. Cooking and cleaning houses.
43:20
Who's that for? No.
43:21
One's for you grandpa. You're welcome.
43:23
And Catholic furry femboys cleaning their gaming setup in
43:26
maid outfits. Don't worry thoughty, I got you
43:28
girl. Finally dawn breaks and along
43:33
with it the silence. You all hear this blood curdling
43:37
scream just. It was you, wasn't it?
43:43
What the fuck? I don't know.
43:45
What are you, what are you, what are you gentlemen doing?
43:48
Where'd the sound come from? Came from the pool room.
43:52
Going to the pool room. Yeah.
43:55
I'm going to wake up. Wake up.
43:57
I'm going to wake up, turn and look at Hazy, be like, oh, good
44:02
morning, it's OK. I'm going to slap him on the
44:07
ass. Go ahead and jump up.
44:10
Anyways, running towards the poor room where the scream is
44:14
coming from all. Right, so Night Out and grandpa
44:17
are definitely going to be the first ones to make it in.
44:21
Oh fuck, I'm going to tell Thadi to hold on to me and I'm going
44:23
to use my grappling hook to shoot us towards that direction.
44:28
OK, spider man. Yeah, no.
44:32
So my experience is telling me that I'm not doing that.
44:36
It'll work this time, I promise. No, I'm just going to calmly
44:42
scale down this Cliff. Anyways, while you guys are
44:46
doing that, these two busting through the door following the
44:50
screaming sound and they see a ghastly sight.
44:52
Me sprawled out across the pool table.
44:57
The the felt beneath me, dark and wet.
45:00
My skin is gone, not torn off, not scattered, missing entirely.
45:08
My body is raw and trembling, every nerve screaming in the
45:10
cold mountain air. The room smells coppery and
45:13
damp, like river water mixed with sweat.
45:16
The pool balls lie scattered in the floor where I thrashed
45:18
awake. My eyes are wide, unfocused,
45:21
panic struck as I try not to touch anything.
45:24
I'm gasping like something just crawled out of my lungs.
45:27
Oh. Oh, so something hurts, oh
45:30
Jesus, oh. I look on my hands.
45:33
Oh, that's not good. Kick up.
45:35
No, don't do that. Look at the fog gun.
45:38
Disinfect the wound. You ain't got no scan,
45:40
Lieutenant Dan. I look over at grandpa and I'm
45:44
like, how bad is it? Tell good, good tell you
45:47
honestly. Just don't look at any mirrors.
45:50
You'll never have to worry about sunburn again.
45:54
Oh good. Or blinking.
45:57
But there's so much dirt, noise, veins are.
46:01
Are you guys doing anything to help me or are you just staring
46:03
at this? Yeah, no give.
46:05
Definitely putting some bandages on.
46:07
Oh yeah. Yeah, painted.
46:09
Yeah, that'll help. Oh, don't touch me, don't touch
46:11
me. To to be fair, I probably would
46:14
just stand there and stare. Yeah.
46:18
At least for a few seconds. Yeah.
46:19
And then start looking around. Is is there, is there anything
46:22
else that like, you know, catches our eye other than the
46:26
the man with no skin? Yeah.
46:30
Is the window open somewhere? What?
46:32
Wait, weren't you supposed to be on watch?
46:35
So. You fucking fell asleep again,
46:38
didn't you? Look, I don't have skin, OK?
46:40
This is not the time you're going of course stuff.
46:44
Where was the last place you saw it?
46:46
We'll start looking there. On me.
46:56
Do you want me to call my mom? She can find anything.
47:01
It's always the last place you look.
47:03
So thuddy and hazy are they're on their way in.
47:07
Let's go ahead and give you guys a perception roll to see if you
47:09
see anything on the way in. Like his skin.
47:12
What are your what are your steps, boys one. 0.
47:20
Nope, just another day. Do do do do do do skip it along
47:24
holding hands. Just skip it in.
47:27
Damn. You 2 just come in here and you
47:29
see me just I'm just standing here and I'm like trying to pull
47:35
out my wife's a tattoo artist. So I got a bunch of like second
47:37
skin and I'm trying to pull it out and slowly and apply it to
47:40
myself without my fingers touching each other.
47:43
And I was like and neither night owl or grandpa is fucking
47:46
helping me or just. Let me fuck you up with that, I
47:49
said. Bandages.
47:50
Jesus Christ. I don't want to, I'm just
47:52
getting a nice grand. I'm going to go whoa.
47:55
He's not a skinwalker. Charcuterie, anybody?
47:58
And I'm going to go back to the kitchen.
48:00
Oh no. I'm going to vomit as soon as I
48:04
enter the room. I fucking vomit.
48:08
Could you get some Saloni? This is this is just a salami.
48:13
Yeah, please. And the cheddar.
48:16
The Cheddar. Coos the Coos.
48:18
All I got is the gobble ghoul. It takes a goo.
48:24
It's so hard to talk like that. All right, we're bandaging me
48:28
up. And I think that's why we're
48:30
going to call it for today's episode is you got a skinless
48:33
coyote. If only someone had warned me
48:39
about, I don't know, like a note they had found in the kitchen
48:43
somewhere about not falling asleep at their back in the
48:45
water. Only someone found that.
48:48
I'm going to show you the note as soon as we can.
48:51
Hey, you kind of look like. This oh hindsight.
48:56
Oh shit. You didn't happen to sleep with
49:00
your back to the river, did you? You won't believe in
49:04
coincidences, but let me tell you.
49:05
All right, that's it for today's episode.
49:08
Everybody, everybody say goodbye.
49:10
Bye. Transmission loss Teen status
49:17
unknown.