Latest / The Career Mentor Podcast with Fexingo: Finding Mentors, Sponsors, and Career Advisors / When Your Mentor Is Younger Than You
Transcript
- Lucas: So I want to start with a number that kind of stopped me. A LinkedIn survey from late last year found that 38 percent of professionals under the age of 30 have formally or informally mentored someone older than them. That's more than a third of young workers. Luna: That is a lot higher than I would have guessed. I think most people still picture mentorship as an older person dispensing wisdom to a younger one. Lucas: Right, and that image is baked into the word itself. Mentor in the Odyssey was an older guy. But the workplace has changed fast. A senior VP who's fifty might have zero instinct for how TikTok algorithms work, or how to run a Slack community, or what a younger customer actually wants. Meanwhile a twenty-five-year-old analyst lives in that world. Luna: Yeah, and I think that's the part that makes people uncomfortable. It's not just about a skill gap. It's about status. Admitting that someone junior knows something you don't. Lucas: Exactly. And if we've helped you think through a career move or a tricky workplace dynamic, we hope you'll consider supporting the show. It keeps us ad-free and independent. You can do that at buy me a coffee dot com slash fexingo. That's buy me a coffee dot com slash fexingo. Luna: And honestly, this episode is a good example. The idea of learning from someone younger is something a lot of us need practice with. Lucas: So the first barrier is ego. I've coached a few senior leaders who knew, intellectually, that they had gaps. But when I suggested they ask a junior team member to teach them something, they'd say things like, 'I don't want them to think I'm incompetent.' Luna: Which is ironic because the most competent leaders I've worked with are the ones who are openly curious. They ask questions constantly. Lucas: There's a concept called the 'experience trap.' The more experienced you are, the more you rely on pattern recognition from past success. That works great when the environment is stable. When it shifts, that same experience makes you blind to new signals. Luna: So the person who hasn't been on the job long doesn't have those blinders. They see the new landscape clearly. Lucas: Right. A younger mentor can give you something no older mentor can: a native understanding of the current moment. Not just tech, but cultural trends, communication norms, even what motivates a new generation of employees. Luna: So how do you actually go about finding one? It's not like you can post a LinkedIn status saying 'Looking for a mentor, must be under 30.' Lucas: You can't. And you shouldn't. The best approach is indirect. Think about a specific skill or domain where you know you're weak. Maybe it's social media analytics, or how to run a meeting on a platform like Discord, or even how to talk to Gen Z customers without sounding like a dad. Luna: I like that. Identify the gap first, then the person. Lucas: I call it the Three-Gap Audit. Write down three things: one, a technical skill you lack. Two, a cultural insight you're missing. Three, a relationship or network you don't have access to. Then for each gap, think of who in your organization—or even outside it—has that capability. They might be junior. Luna: So once you've identified that person, how do you approach them? Because if you walk up and say 'Will you be my mentor?' it's weird. Lucas: It is. I advise a much softer ask. Say something like, 'I've been trying to get better at X and I've noticed you're really good at it. Would you be open to a quick coffee where I can pick your brain?' That frames it as a learning conversation, not a formal mentorship. Luna: And it respects their time. You're not asking for a long-term commitment upfront. Lucas: Exactly. And if that first conversation goes well, you can suggest a regular check-in. But let it evolve naturally. I've seen cases where the younger person actually resists the 'mentor' label because they feel it implies a hierarchy they don't want. Luna: That's interesting. So some people prefer to think of it as a peer exchange, even when one side clearly has more experience overall. Lucas: Yes. And I think that's healthy. The label matters less than the substance. If you're meeting every two weeks and learning from each other, call it whatever you want. Luna: What about the reverse? Have you ever had a younger mentor? Lucas: I have, actually. A few years ago I realized I didn't understand how younger consumers were using TikTok for product discovery. So I asked an intern who was twenty-one to walk me through it. She ended up becoming an informal advisor for about six months. Luna: And what was the hardest part for you? Lucas: Honestly, the hardest part was not interrupting. I'd want to jump in with my own perspective, but I had to remind myself that the goal was to listen. She knew things I didn't. Luna: I think that's the core skill. Listening without defending. Because if you're busy explaining why your old way made sense, you're not learning. Lucas: And that's where a lot of senior people stumble. They treat the conversation as a debate instead of a learning opportunity. They feel the need to establish credibility. Luna: So what's the payoff? What do you actually get out of it? Lucas: I think the biggest win is adaptability. In a fast-changing economy, the people who can learn from anyone—regardless of age or title—are the ones who stay relevant. I saw a McKinsey report that said companies with strong reverse-mentorship programs had 23 percent higher retention among senior leaders. Luna: That's a big number. And it makes sense. If you feel like you're still growing, you're less likely to burn out or check out. Lucas: There's also a secondary benefit for the organization. When a junior employee gets asked for their expertise by a senior leader, it sends a powerful signal. It says this is a place where expertise matters more than hierarchy. Luna: It can also help with retention on the junior side. I've talked to Gen Z employees who left jobs because they felt their ideas weren't taken seriously. Lucas: Exactly. Reverse mentorship addresses that. It gives junior employees a voice and a sense of influence. Luna: One thing I want to touch on is the timing. Is there a right time to start looking for a younger mentor? Lucas: I'd say any time you feel your knowledge has plateaued in a specific area. But especially during times of technological change. Right now, with generative AI reshaping so many roles, a twenty-something who grew up with these tools might have instincts that a forty-something manager doesn't. Luna: So it's not about age. It's about proximity to the new thing. Lucas: Exactly. And that proximity isn't guaranteed by youth. But it's more likely. The key is to stay humble enough to seek it out. Luna: I think a lot of listeners might be nervous about actually taking that step. What's your one piece of advice for someone who's ready but scared? Lucas: Start small. Pick one person and one topic. Don't call it mentorship. Just ask a question. The barrier is almost always in your own head. Once you do it once, it gets easier. Luna: And if it goes badly? If they say no or seem uncomfortable? Lucas: That's fine. They might not have the bandwidth or the comfort level. You thank them and move on. The act of asking is itself a signal to yourself that you're willing to grow. That matters more than any single yes. Luna: Alright, so to wrap up: identify a gap, find someone who fills it, approach with humility, and listen more than you talk. Lucas: That's the framework. I'd love to hear from listeners who try it. We're on LinkedIn or you can reach us through the show page. And if you found this useful, consider throwing a couple bucks toward the coffee fund at buy me a coffee dot com slash fexingo. Luna: Yeah, that helps us keep making episodes like this. Thanks for being here. Lucas: Next time, we're going to talk about what to do when your mentor is also a competitor. That's a tricky dynamic. See you then.