Latest / WILD SOUL ALCHEMY PODCAST / Same Train, Different View

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Same Train, Different View · WILD SOUL ALCHEMY PODCAST

• 0:00
  In a co-working session I was in today, a mom was talking about
• 0:05
  how when her son was little, there was times he'd wake up
• 0:09
  from sleeping and wouldn't like it would be immediately would
• 0:13
  reach into his diaper and start smearing the shit on the wall
• 0:18
  right next to his crib, and she was going on about how awful it
• 0:24
  was, and she had to do this alone because her husband worked
• 0:29
  away. And let's be honest, like that is a very shitty, yeah,
• 0:36
  you're that situation. And but my brain went immediately to aw.
• 0:45
  He was just waking up and journaling his dreams on the
• 0:49
  wall with the only thing he had available. And so, just as a
• 0:56
  joke, I had messaged her and was like, "Well, after the first
• 1:00
  couple times, I would have put paint in his bed so that he had
• 1:05
  different tools to use, and we all started laughing. And the
• 1:10
  turn, the call turned into a giggling fest with every mom
• 1:14
  sharing their own version of this. And I wonder, like, if
• 1:19
  this mom had this version of this story as soon as she opened
• 1:25
  the door to get her child from his sleep, like how much
• 1:32
  different that situation would have gone. Like she might have
• 1:35
  opened the door and giggled and been like, "Oh, I lock my little
• 1:40
  poopy Picasso, and clean the baby up, and even snap a picture
• 1:45
  of the wall for future reference when he becomes very famous. And
• 1:51
  like cleaning the situation up would have been different, and
• 1:54
  then even affected her whole day. And five years later, she's
• 2:00
  going through her memory, and boom, she sees her little poopy
• 2:04
  Picasso again. And in that moment, she was stressed, like
• 2:08
  she's still carrying the stress today about it. And we know what
• 2:12
  stress does to the body, and it sets the whole tone for her day.
• 2:15
  So this was the same wall, the same shit, just two completely
• 2:21
  different ways the morning could have gone, and the only
• 2:25
  difference is how she framed this whole situation, and that's
• 2:30
  what we're talking about today. Hey, hey, I'm Ginger, and this
• 2:34
  is Wild Soul Alchemy. So the last episode we talked about
• 2:38
  just putting one foot in front of the other, whenever we see
• 2:43
  that big mountain in front of us, and today I want to talk
• 2:47
  about what happens when we get stuck, frustrated, and I start
• 2:55
  feeling like life is happening to me and blocking me from going
• 2:59
  any further. And when I first started shifting my perspective
• 3:04
  about 10 years ago and working on being more positive in life,
• 3:09
  I heard this story and or I'm sorry, not story. I heard this
• 3:13
  theory and it really stuck with me. And now 10 years later, like
• 3:19
  it's really how I am able to hear stories that we can all be
• 3:26
  like, we can all agree it's a very shitty situation. Yes, I'm
• 3:31
  going to use that through the whole show. The things that
• 3:34
  amuse me, and we can have the same story but two different
• 3:41
  ways to look at it, and so I help a lot of my friends. They
• 3:46
  like to call me and go over things like this because it's
• 3:50
  just it's easy for me. And the the the theory is we are all on
• 3:57
  this train, and the train is going to the same destination.
• 4:03
  We're all riding the same train. The destin, the final
• 4:06
  destination, like we all know what that is. We don't make it
• 4:10
  out of this life alive, right? If we can't control the train or
• 4:15
  the destination, or even the people that are around us on the
• 4:20
  train, what can we control? We can control which side of the
• 4:25
  train we sit on. So this theory goes that the one side of the
• 4:31
  train is looking out at the rocky cliffs, the barren
• 4:38
  landscape, the the dark tunnels, the bad weather, and it it just
• 4:45
  it's a gloomy picture is what I'm trying to paint here. It
• 4:49
  it's not very like exciting, or that leaves you feeling
• 4:53
  miserable, leaves you deep in thought, feeling trapped on a
• 4:58
  stupid train ride. Can't wait to get off, wishing the train would
• 5:02
  go faster so you could just go on about your day.
• 5:06
  Or the other side, you see the shoreline, and I always imagine
• 5:14
  I'm going down the the Pacific Coast, and so I'm seeing the
• 5:19
  Pacific Ocean, the waves crashing, the sunshine, the the
• 5:26
  all of the color like it looks like an amazing day, and I can
• 5:30
  just sit there and like enjoy looking at the scenery. It
• 5:34
  doesn't. I still go through the same tunnel, but I'm enjoying my
• 5:38
  ride, and so this means that where you choose to put your
• 5:43
  attention on is how you're going to feel about your life and
• 5:49
  whether it's beautiful and worth noticing just while you're going
• 5:53
  along the ride because we're all stuck on the ride. Remember, and
• 5:57
  this is how, like 10 years ago, I was sitting on the the side of
• 6:05
  the train that had the poor view. I had everything I needed,
• 6:11
  but because I was looking out the side of the train at
• 6:14
  everything that was missing, I had a barren landscape, of
• 6:18
  course. And that's when I decided that that wasn't how I
• 6:23
  was going to live my life anymore, and I wanted to cross
• 6:28
  over to. I saw the people on the other side who just accepted
• 6:33
  that we were all on this ride together, and they were enjoying
• 6:36
  their ride. And so I crossed the aisle and decided to just accept
• 6:43
  the route. We don't always get to choose the terrain the train
• 6:47
  cuts through, or whether we have to go through dark tunnels. Like
• 6:52
  those tunnels are still real, but so are the mountains that we
• 6:56
  get to look at and watch the sunrise or the sunset over, and
• 7:00
  we get to choose which side of the aisle we're sitting on, and
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  delays may happen, and the tracks might get a little bumpy.
• 7:09
  But we need to stop fighting the route because honestly, that's
• 7:14
  fucking exhausting. And the train keeps moving anyways, so
• 7:19
  accepting the route isn't really giving up. We just need to put
• 7:24
  our energy where it can actually do something. Like the chick
• 7:29
  sitting on the the seashore side, she's putting her energy
• 7:35
  into thinking about how wonderful life is, and then that
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  leads to thoughts of like all of the other wonderful things that
• 7:45
  she can do in the future, and I'm not saying that she's
• 7:50
  pretending everything's fine. Some tunnels are really long and
• 7:55
  really dark. You're allowed to feel that, but if we just look
• 7:59
  at the silver lining of everything and not build a house
• 8:04
  in the dark tunnel, it makes the ride a lot better, right? Like
• 8:08
  put yourself in these the each side of it, and how does that
• 8:12
  feel in your body? What are your thoughts when you are sitting on
• 8:16
  each side of this? So I had said we're not trapped in the seat,
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  you can stand up and you can cross the aisle and look out the
• 8:24
  other window. You can have, you can take control over where you
• 8:28
  focus, and it's going to feel awkward because standing up on a
• 8:33
  moving train, it gets a little shifty. Who knows? Like if we
• 8:37
  hit a bump, or my luck, I stand up and the train like comes to
• 8:43
  an immediate stop. Have you ever been on the metro and the train
• 8:47
  is coming to a stop and throws your body? Yep, that's right
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  when I would stand up. And there's people looking at you
• 8:54
  when you stand up, wondering like why can't you just sit down
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  and and be like the rest of us instead of like hopping all
• 9:03
  around the train. You know that kid that you're like, just sit
• 9:06
  in one seat. You're not allowed to change your seats because
• 9:08
  you're bothering everyone around. Yeah, this situation.
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  And I'm not saying that the people who are wanting to sit
• 9:15
  down are wrong or any like that's not. We're not sitting
• 9:18
  here talking about train etiquette. They can do what they
• 9:20
  want. We're talking about ourselves, and I'm sorry. You
• 9:23
  can change your seat as many times as you want, whether it
• 9:25
  irritates people or not. Like I said, we're all going to the
• 9:28
  same place. They can just be irritated about it if they want
• 9:31
  to, and this is your life, not theirs. Is what I have to say
• 9:35
  about that. Like you have to find a seat that's comfortable
• 9:38
  for you. Like Goldilocks, she didn't just stop at one.
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  She was like, "Nope, I want absolute comfort, and I'm gonna
• 9:45
  keep trying until I find it." And sometimes you might like
• 9:49
  find yourself like when you get off of the up to change your
• 9:53
  seat, you might find yourself sitting back on the other side
• 9:58
  of the aisle, and you can. Cross again. You don't have to stay
• 10:02
  there. Nothing is permanent in this life if you don't make it.
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  So you can either leave the train feeling miserable about
• 10:11
  your life and what all was missing from it, or you can feel
• 10:15
  you can leave feeling fulfilled. It isn't really the journey
• 10:20
  that's the difference. It's the window you sit at, and we can
• 10:23
  take our power back in this decision. So remember, I said I
• 10:27
  had the big house, the perfect yard, and everything that I
• 10:32
  could possibly want. I was just looking out the wrong side of
• 10:38
  the train. The train wasn't the problem. It was the window I
• 10:42
  decided to sit at. I didn't want my kids to be sitting next to me
• 10:47
  on the train, looking out the same miserable window and
• 10:52
  feeling like their miserable fucking seat was permanent. And
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  so I wanted to stop teaching them that we had to sit still
• 11:01
  and fit in with everybody else on the bus, and so I got my ass
• 11:05
  up and moved to the other side because our kids are always
• 11:09
  watching us, and that's the gift I want to give to them, and
• 11:13
  that's the ride I want them to remember. So whenever you start
• 11:16
  catching yourself sitting on the, I'm gonna call this like
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  the miserable view side of the train. You'll feel it. Things
• 11:26
  will start feeling heavy. You'll start getting bitter. You will
• 11:31
  just start doing things to just like survival mode again, just
• 11:35
  getting through it. And every time you catch it, I want you to
• 11:39
  consciously get up and move your ass to another seat. Find
• 11:42
  something out the other window, like your kids laugh or the
• 11:47
  light out the kitchen window, like watching the sunset or the
• 11:51
  sunrise while you're watching dishes was always a big one for
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  me. And just find things that that are your sunshine or your
• 12:00
  seashore, the waves crashing on the beach. Come tell me on
• 12:06
  Instagram at Wild Soul Alchemist what you saw out your window. If
• 12:11
  you know anyone who is also or maybe on the miserable side of
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  the train and has been there for a little while, send this
• 12:20
  episode to her. Sometimes all it takes is someone tapping you on
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  the shoulder and pointing at the other window and showing you an
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  empty seat. Invite her even to the next episode, which is about
• 12:33
  why we feel crazy for wanting something different and a
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  perspective shift on how to get through that without feeling
• 12:42
  insane, stay curious, wild soul. Toodles.