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Quick Lift: Leading Through Bad Bosses (and Not Becoming One) · Loud & Lifted

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  Welcome to Loud and Lifted Quick Lift, your under
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  10 -minute hit of a clarity in action. I'm your
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  host, Betsy Ham. Today, we're ripping a few pages
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  from Meeta Malik's playbook, The Devil Emails
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  at Midnight, aka how to spot bad bosses in others
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  and ourselves and lead better, starting today.
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  Her new book is a candid look at 13 types of
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  bad bosses, including the chapter where Meeta
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  owns the time she was one. The throw line, we
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  can't change other people, but we can change
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  ourselves. And we can lead with courage when
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  we're stuck in tough cultures. Here are the takeaways
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  and what to do next. Key takeaway number one,
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  start with you. Self -awareness is the lever.
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  Meeda shared the story about how she was a bad
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  boss after she was dealing with guilt after her
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  father's death. And the reality is we all have
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  our bad boss moments and you have to take a minute
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  and reflect on this. I mean... Don't get me wrong.
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  I have definitely had my bad boss moments where
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  I was the bad boss. And one example I think of
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  early in my career, let's talk about something
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  that happened a long time ago because it seems
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  easier. I had people report to me when I was
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  fairly young and they were older than me. And
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  I really struggled with holding them accountable.
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  And I wanted them to like me and I wanted them
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  to respect me. So I kind of let them walk all
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  over me thinking that was a way to get them.
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  to like me. Now, I'm sure they probably did because
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  a lot of them are doing whatever they wanted
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  to, but that's not a good boss. I needed to set
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  expectations and be very clear on what they were
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  responsible for doing and hold them accountable.
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  And that was certainly one of my bad boss moments.
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  Don't worry, there's plenty more, but we'll save
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  that for another day. So I think this also ties
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  nicely into what we talked about in Lindsay's
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  episode where she said you need to take a step
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  back and ask your team members, how can I be
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  a better boss for you? So that's our takeaway
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  here and our action item is ask the people who
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  are on your team. How can you be a better boss
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  for them? And then fix one of those leadership
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  habits. It's really easy to point out the flaws
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  in other people, but at times we need to take
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  a step back and make sure that we are showing
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  up as good as we can. Next, respect is non -negotiable.
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  Correct misnaming, mislabeling in the moment
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  and back others up. Meet a story about her boss
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  who kept calling her the wrong name. Literally
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  was making me cringe as she told the story. Having
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  somebody who was so disrespectful that they couldn't
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  call you the right name for months. This wasn't
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  one time. It was for months. He knew her name
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  and chose not to use it. That is just. mortifying
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  to hear that she had to go through that. And
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  what I think is equally as disturbing is nobody
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  else around her stood up for her. So if you see
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  something, say something. It's bad enough that
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  that behavior was going on, but the fact that
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  nobody else had her back and said, Hey, you probably
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  should stop calling her this is just baffling
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  to me and you know sometimes it can be a name
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  that someone's using and I go back to times especially
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  when you're younger in your career you might
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  be labeled the marketing girl or the intern and
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  some of those things are just not being respected
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  so if this is happening you need to have the
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  action item of sticking up for yourself and as
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  I mentioned also sticking up for other people
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  if you see something say something whether it's
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  to you or to someone else on your your team.
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  Next up, you can't outwork a bully. Meeta talked
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  about how she was driven by fear. She had a boss
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  that was just so intense and so demanding. And
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  so she worked really, really hard and really,
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  really long because she just tried to stay out
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  of her way and under the radar. But eventually
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  that's not sustainable. So she became disengaged
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  and became not a great employee. So if you're
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  in this situation, you really do need to figure
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  out how you can get help. Sometimes that requires
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  documenting, getting allies, and maybe it's choosing.
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  Do you escalate it? Do you go past that person
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  to someone else? Do you try to get a different
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  role within the organization? Or do you have
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  to work on your exit plan? No matter what your
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  situation is, if you're being disrespected or
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  you're being bullied by your boss, you definitely
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  have to do something about that. That's not a
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  situation that you can stay in in a toxic environment.
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  So as we even discussed in past episodes, it's
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  figuring out how do you get out of that situation?
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  Is it transferring to another department? Is
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  it going around that person, which you have to
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  be very, very careful if that's your choice,
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  to be able to escalate it, or maybe it's time
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  to see if you're able to move on. Next is re
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  -engage the disengaged. Now, when Meeta was telling...
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  the story about the napper. It was kind of funny
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  having a boss who was literally falling asleep
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  in meetings is just wild. I can't imagine consistently.
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  I think we probably all can think of a meeting
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  where we've been in where somebody was falling
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  asleep. I definitely have had that happen in
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  the past, but consistently falling asleep, the
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  dude was disengaged, right? And that's not good
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  for culture. It's not good for the environment.
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  And his boss wasn't holding him accountable.
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  And if you're in the situation where somebody
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  is disengaged, maybe they're not actually falling
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  asleep in meetings because that kind of is the
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  extreme. But if you know that there's somebody
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  in your team that's disengaged, you have to have
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  the conversation with them. Sometimes somebody
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  needs to have just that nudge to be able to be
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  honest. Maybe they are very unhappy. Maybe there's
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  something else going on. So first is kind of
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  seeking to understand, is there something going
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  on? Are they having issues in their personal
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  life that need to be dealt with? But maybe they
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  need that permission that this isn't working
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  and it is okay for them to move on. And while
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  this typically needs to come from a manager,
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  it's not a bad thing that if you see somebody
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  on your team that you have a good relationship
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  with, that you do say the same thing to them.
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  Hey, what's going on? I'm just checking in. Are
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  you OK? Is there anything you need help with?
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  Is there anything going on in your personal life
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  that's impacting how you're showing up at work?
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  It's just having somebody feel like they care
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  and also giving them that opportunity to maybe
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  share something that they haven't been comfortable
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  to in the past. So the takeaway here is if you
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  say to someone, hey, I've observed A, B, and
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  C. How are you? What would it take to make you
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  excited to work here again? Then listen and co
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  -plan next steps. It may be getting them re -engaged
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  and it may be time for them to move on. And the
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  last takeaway is if you're dealing with any of
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  these bad bosses that we discussed from the book,
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  if you're stuck, set an expiration date. You're
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  gonna have bad bosses. It's not... if it's when
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  and it's how often. And sometimes you can work
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  through that and sometimes you have to move on.
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  So if that's the case, then figure out how you're
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  going to move on. And this goes back to making
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  sure that you're building up your personal brand,
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  you have a good image and you're getting that
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  exposure. Whether it's inside your company, maybe
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  there's a role that you can move to in a different
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  department, but maybe you need to look elsewhere.
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  So making sure that you have your LinkedIn profile
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  buttons up, that your resume is updated. And
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  today's environment, those are things that you
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  should always be staying on top of. You just
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  never know. But set an expiration. How long are
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  you able to handle this situation and what are
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  you going to do to get out of it? Assuming that
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  your boss isn't going somewhere. Sometimes you
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  get lucky and they do. But if not, you need to
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  have that plan, whether it's finding another
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  job within your company or looking elsewhere.
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  The other thing I thought that was great that
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  you talked about is while this is going on, doesn't
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  feel good, right? You have to start rebuilding
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  your confidence outside of work. So maybe you
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  start doing a running club or maybe you start
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  going to yoga or going to the gym or volunteering
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  but finding things that you like to do that are
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  going to make you feel good because nobody feels
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  good when they're in a bad work environment.
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  all the time. So takeaways from here is schedule
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  one confidence -fueling activity weekly, whether
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  it's writing, volunteering, or coaching a sport,
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  and protect it like it's a meeting. And then
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  the second part is pick that expiration date.
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  Maybe it's six months from now, maybe it's 12
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  months from now, maybe it's only 90 days. But
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  update your resume with specific wins, grow internal
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  and external exposure, and line up some projects
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  that showcase your value. It's inevitable. You're
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  going to have bad bosses. Some you can work with
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  or work around. others, you'll have to decide
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  what your next step is in or out of the organization.
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  But always have a plan and always have self -awareness.
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  No one is perfect, but make sure you aren't taking
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  on the traits of being a bad boss. And if you're
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  not sure, ask the people around you. As always,
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  if this episode hit, please share it with a friend
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  and be sure to follow us on Instagram for a daily
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  dose of development. Until next time, stay loud,
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  stay lifted and don't send any emails at midnight.