Latest / After Maghrib 🌙 / CRAZY Muslim Reddit Stories

Transcript

CRAZY Muslim Reddit Stories · After Maghrib 🌙

• 0:00
  In the name of Allah, the benefits and the merciful this
• 0:02
  Mullah Rahmad Rahim Salaam alaikum and welcome back to the
• 0:05
  late night buzz the After Mahra podcast where week in week out
• 0:08
  we have continuous weekly conversations.
• 0:11
  Myself say that Ali rather we I've never said say it before on
• 0:14
  the podcast by before by the way so this is the first time I used
• 0:17
  the word say it. I know as well as my Co host
• 0:19
  Ahmed who I see every week. Yeah and I think I see him more
• 0:22
  than I see a lot of important people in my life.
• 0:27
  You are important, Ahmed. Of course, but in yeah, I'm
• 0:30
  going to start that again, my dear, please, please.
• 0:31
  Don't start again, no. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
• 0:34
  We're. Keeping it so I'm the.
• 0:44
  Same Alex. Abdullah.
• 0:46
  How are you? Abdullah.
• 0:47
  Abdullah, do you know why I wanted to start again?
• 0:50
  I was going to say life is full of dilemmas, but you're not one
• 0:52
  of them. But anyway.
• 0:56
  This guy's a poet. We know it.
• 0:58
  Marshall Law. No, you're rhyming.
• 1:00
  No, I'm rhyming, Yeah. Yeah, I'm trying to think of
• 1:02
  something that rhymes with that. But yeah, we're good.
• 1:05
  We're on A roll. Maybe we'll drop some bars later
• 1:07
  on. Shuckle, Marco.
• 1:08
  Abdullah, Markushi. All good, all good.
• 1:10
  Last week we celebrated the 15th of Shaban Abdullah and now we're
• 1:16
  just prepping, prepping, prepping for the holy month.
• 1:20
  I've tried to do some fasts this month and it feels like it's
• 1:23
  getting harder, but it should be getting easier because obviously
• 1:26
  the holy month is around the corner, but I think it's in my
• 1:28
  mind, you know, by the end of the fast, I'm like, that was all
• 1:30
  right, but during the day I'm like, yeah, it's it's tough.
• 1:33
  Yesterday I fasted and around 3 PMI was like, I really, really
• 1:39
  need water. But Hamdulillah, you know, these
• 1:41
  are like great opportunities for us to to get the fasts in before
• 1:46
  the holy month comes. It's so must a hub and of course
• 1:49
  it's it's a great preparation for our body, our mind, but most
• 1:52
  importantly our soul. So yeah, trying to make the most
• 1:55
  of it, man. Just.
• 1:56
  Trying to send reaping those rewards and, you know, set
• 1:58
  yourself in time for Ramadan where you can prepare yourself
• 2:01
  naturally, I think you know, in the last two or three days.
• 2:03
  By the way, this has got nothing to do with preparing for
• 2:05
  Ramadan, but I've actually been having lunch quite late.
• 2:09
  OK, so I'm eating around 6:37. OK, So you're kind of getting.
• 2:12
  So I think I'm, I'm, I'm sort of trying to get into the shift,
• 2:15
  your shifting the eating habits. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 2:18
  And I think that helps. It does, but you saw.
• 2:19
  Program yourself. And I've noticed as well, just
• 2:21
  even aside from fasting. But when you reduce the amount
• 2:24
  of food you have generally day-to-day, yes, over a week or
• 2:29
  two your body adjusts to it naturally.
• 2:31
  It does we. Have those Fat Heavy Meals,
• 2:33
  Donna Kebab, Half Pounder and you know what I mean.
• 2:36
  All that like these different things or your body is like a
• 2:39
  bit of an anomaly. Do you know what I mean?
• 2:41
  So your your body goes into a a mode of of shock because there's
• 2:46
  a lot of grease and fat and heavy food that's getting put
• 2:48
  into your body and that shifts us to being more used to having
• 2:53
  bigger appetites and bigger meals.
• 2:55
  So maybe we should slowly eat less shall and get used to have.
• 3:00
  I keep thinking about caffeine. Like, how am I going to survive?
• 3:02
  You know, I've been thinking, how can I reduce coffee now the
• 3:07
  caffeine because it's dangerous fasting.
• 3:09
  I can have two, three cups a day.
• 3:10
  Fasting, fasting, especially fasting during work days like
• 3:13
  during the week, like yesterday morning I fasted, it was a work
• 3:19
  day and the first 2-3 hours like I said were hard, hard, hard.
• 3:22
  And that was because of my caffeine addiction, which I now
• 3:25
  realise is an addiction. Where's my coffee?
• 3:27
  But yeah, you you have to find a ways to get around it and during
• 3:30
  the nights I think like hydration, high fiber, high
• 3:35
  energy food, potassium foods, all of those things they help
• 3:38
  obviously throughout the rest of the day.
• 3:40
  They do. They do plan.
• 3:41
  You know you mentioned 15 shaban yeah.
• 3:43
  Which we hand Allah the whole shiawal celebrated the
• 3:47
  auspicious birth. Yeah, of the Imam of our time,
• 3:49
  Mehdi May Allah Hassan's reappearance.
• 3:51
  And you know, I was thinking after the podcast we had with
• 3:54
  Said Ali Khali, I really loved the episode by the.
• 3:57
  Wicked episode. Just so I listened to it twice.
• 4:00
  Yeah. Although we had it here live.
• 4:01
  You listened to it. I listened to the conversation
• 4:03
  twice, that's how. That's how much?
• 4:05
  Even just a 15 shot bomb podcast, it's it's a podcast all
• 4:08
  year. Round it was a way for us to
• 4:10
  connect, truly connect with our living Imam.
• 4:13
  And I was thinking, you know, even after attending the the
• 4:16
  mold events, you know, celebrating his suspicious
• 4:18
  birth, I was thinking imagine one day Ahmed, yeah, one day we
• 4:22
  have that opportunity, Oh my God, that blessed opportunity.
• 4:25
  So I truly hope it happens that we can have the best of guests.
• 4:31
  We can have the most deserving guests.
• 4:34
  In fact, not even guests. We go home and he hosts.
• 4:36
  We don't imagine having Imam Al Mehdi on the aftermath of
• 4:39
  podcast. We are.
• 4:40
  We're not deserving to even be there like in Charlotte we are.
• 4:44
  But it's just the thought of it is just crazy.
• 4:47
  Well, I was thinking I was like, how do, how do I speak?
• 4:49
  I'm like, I can't talk. You know what we started out.
• 4:51
  I remember when when I when I did my first day I had a big TV.
• 4:54
  It's about 8 years ago 8-9, nine years ago now.
• 4:57
  And Ajamir Taki, the first thing he said to me on the 1st day
• 5:01
  when we started, he said to me, he said our vision for this
• 5:05
  channel for Adelbate TV is to one day have the holy awaited
• 5:09
  Imam come onto our platform to broadcast his his sermons around
• 5:13
  the world. You know there's a hadith from
• 5:16
  the holy Imams where where we talk about the covenant that the
• 5:19
  Imam brings and how it's broadcasted around the world,
• 5:22
  how he gives us as as his so-called representatives or his
• 5:26
  Shia the opportunity to share his message to the world.
• 5:28
  That's why we have media you know and at times like this
• 5:31
  Muslim media is so important. So yeah, man, I I fully I see
• 5:35
  the vision. I see the work that Adelbate
• 5:38
  TV's doing after Mahadev under Adelbate TV's doing and a lot of
• 5:42
  the other sheer media platforms is all united in the cause of
• 5:46
  the holy Imam and that should continuously be our.
• 5:48
  Goal And if someone wants to watch Adelbate TV, it's now as
• 5:51
  simple and easy as grabbing a fire stick.
• 5:54
  Yeah, and the fact you can partner up with Adelbate TV and
• 5:57
  it automatically you get a free Fire Stick.
• 5:59
  You get a free Fire stick and to be honest bro, come to think of
• 6:02
  it as well, why are we a lot of us paying money towards Netflix
• 6:07
  and Disney and other kind of streaming platforms which may
• 6:10
  not use their profits for the right causes?
• 6:12
  When you can subscribe to Adelbate TV, which has four
• 6:16
  channels as the generic channel, the Quran channel, 24/7.
• 6:20
  It has the documentaries channel.
• 6:21
  And of course, Adelbate TV is known for its global
• 6:23
  documentaries filmed over dozens of countries.
• 6:27
  Yeah. And of course, lastly as well,
• 6:29
  the kids channel, the brand new kids channel, kids are facing
• 6:32
  dilemmas day in, day out, which we're going to get to dilemmas
• 6:34
  as well. But this is what our, our, our
• 6:38
  communities need. This our families need media for
• 6:42
  children, you know, under 16 or up to the age of Baloch for
• 6:45
  boys, I'd say. I'd say zero to 16 is like the
• 6:47
  key critical age group, which is in many ways targeted by the
• 6:52
  society we live in, in terms of ideological threats, societal
• 6:55
  threats. So yeah, but really, really
• 6:58
  encourage that. The Holy Household.
• 7:00
  For every household. For every household, elevates,
• 7:02
  liquidly, weights and Charlotte. You know, I really love that
• 7:05
  tagline. But I think enough of LBTV for a
• 7:07
  second and let's yeah, yeah, let's enter the world of
• 7:10
  dilemmas and dramas. So we were thinking of doing
• 7:13
  this discussion guys kind of looking at a lot before we get
• 7:17
  into the holy month talking about maybe some of the dilemmas
• 7:19
  that you have, OK. We've had a lot of really
• 7:22
  spiritually enlightening conversations and maybe we want,
• 7:25
  we want to have a bit of not like a light hearted
• 7:27
  conversation but maybe something which is a bit more relatable to
• 7:30
  your day-to-day life or to our day-to-day lives as well.
• 7:33
  So we asked you on the Instagram channel, we have just under 1000
• 7:37
  followers on the Instagram channel and on that Channel you
• 7:41
  guys are the executive producers of this show.
• 7:43
  So you help us decide titles, you help us pick thumbnails, you
• 7:48
  get to see behind the scenes footage, stuff like that.
• 7:50
  So join that if you haven't already.
• 7:52
  And we asked you for a series of dilemmas and saying we got
• 7:55
  dozens and dozens and dozens of responses, Did we?
• 7:59
  And I'm scrolling now and Marshall Law is like dilemma
• 8:03
  after dilemma after I don't. Know if that's good or bad
• 8:05
  thing, is it? You know, I I think it's good.
• 8:08
  And you know, I think just before we mentioned the first
• 8:09
  one and and delve in, someone may say why are we even
• 8:13
  discussing dilemmas. And I thought to myself, like
• 8:15
  when we asked that question on Instagram, number one, that sort
• 8:18
  of helps us understand our audience, you know what they
• 8:21
  face, what challenges they're going through, you know, what
• 8:24
  issues they have that we can relate with and relate with the
• 8:27
  entire audience. Because there's no point
• 8:28
  sometimes speaking about a discussion where our audience,
• 8:31
  I'm not really engaging or sort of benefiting from rather this
• 8:35
  actually helps us. But the most important one is
• 8:36
  that people actually have dilemmas, like they don't know
• 8:39
  who to ask. Yes, not that we're the best of
• 8:41
  people, but I think we're the most relatable people when it
• 8:44
  comes to this. I I.
• 8:45
  Genuinely believe that the whole of the Internet.
• 8:47
  It is because one man's dilemma is a million others, yeah.
• 8:51
  You're right and both. Like you said, some people like,
• 8:54
  don't have a community, so it may not be in an environment
• 8:57
  where they've got a lot of the dilemmas talk about that, talks
• 8:59
  about the lack of relatable friends, friends they can go to,
• 9:02
  good influences, bad influences, and like people who they're
• 9:06
  surrounded by or even not surrounded by anyone at all.
• 9:08
  So yeah, let's get into it. Pick one that you like.
• 9:11
  Okay fire them back and forth at each other because there's so
• 9:14
  many. There is a lot on my days.
• 9:18
  Should I go first? OK.
• 9:20
  Bismillah. Bismillah.
• 9:21
  Bismillah. Sorry to interrupt your viewing
• 9:23
  experience of after marketer, but we hope you're enjoying the
• 9:25
  episode. But we have some really exciting
• 9:27
  news to bring you from our sponsor today and that is Quiz
• 9:31
  14. Quiz 14 have very kindly
• 9:34
  sponsored this episode of the After Marketer podcast and they
• 9:37
  have some really exciting offers ahead of the month of
• 9:40
  Shahramovan. Brothers and sisters, the first
• 9:42
  offer being is this beautiful the month of Ramadan calendar
• 9:46
  which has daily prayers, challenges and reminders getting
• 9:49
  you and your loved ones closer to Allah.
• 9:51
  Sapana Watala Make the most of the holy month and have this in
• 9:54
  your home and ensure to get one and gift it to your loved ones,
• 9:57
  your friends, your family or even your neighbors.
• 10:00
  The second product on Sisters is one that you will love.
• 10:04
  It's so suited to aftermath of listeners and that is the quiz
• 10:07
  itself that contains 50 game cards that you can play with
• 10:11
  Double S, with teams or even individually.
• 10:13
  This is something that is really fun.
• 10:15
  We've tried it ourselves. It has Islamic trivia questions
• 10:18
  for you to ask and play in a group, and Charlotte one of
• 10:20
  those post Iftar activities for you to enjoy with your friends
• 10:24
  and family as well. Another thing to add about the
• 10:27
  month of Ramadan calendar that has daily recommended
• 10:30
  supplications both in the Arabic language and English and
• 10:33
  inshallah this will allow you and your family members to be
• 10:36
  motivated throughout this blessed month.
• 10:38
  So you brothers, sisters, you can get hold of the quiz and the
• 10:41
  calendar on Instagram by going to the page at 14 quiz.
• 10:45
  That's one for quiz on Instagram.
• 10:48
  And remember of course it's great for on Mavan, but you can
• 10:51
  use these products well, especially the quiz all year
• 10:54
  round. So it's a great opportunity to
• 10:56
  give to someone. This even for aid or even after
• 10:59
  Shahramovan. So make sure you get on onto it
• 11:00
  now. Support your local Shia business
• 11:03
  and order it in time for the blessed month of Ramadan.
• 11:06
  And now back to the After Maghrib podcast.
• 11:10
  I think this is a good one, taking your kids to a school's
• 11:14
  friend's birthday party and the parents are drinking alcohol.
• 11:18
  OK, OK, good. I like it.
• 11:22
  Yeah. Good place to start.
• 11:24
  Firstly, how old is your kid? OK, because bro, if you're
• 11:29
  taking your kid to a birthday party, I'm hoping that kid is
• 11:33
  young because, well, maybe not. Maybe you're I'm assuming that
• 11:37
  they're going into their kids school friend's birthday party.
• 11:40
  Does it make sense? Yeah, yeah, yeah, The school
• 11:42
  friend's birthday party. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 11:44
  But the. Parents are having alcohol at
• 11:46
  the party. OK, OK.
• 11:48
  Yeah, yeah. So what happens there?
• 11:50
  There's like, there's a few things that come to my mind, but
• 11:53
  the first thing that that comes to my mind is just being sure
• 11:56
  that your children are are in and amongst the right group of
• 11:58
  people. And a lot of the time, let's be
• 12:00
  real there, there are fantastic people who are not Muslims who
• 12:03
  will drink alcohol. So you'll meet people, you know,
• 12:05
  people at work, people at school, just everyday, people
• 12:08
  who are nice guys, nice people of course who don't believe in
• 12:11
  Islam. So for them, alcohol is not
• 12:13
  prohibited but at the same time as well making sure that our
• 12:16
  children are or even our siblings if we're young enough
• 12:19
  or aware that, you know, there are do's and don'ts and there's
• 12:23
  crowds that are better to be around of and some that are not.
• 12:25
  I would say it's best to avoid such an environment or to be in
• 12:30
  such a scenario, but sometimes you can't really control.
• 12:32
  It you, you won't be able to tell it.
• 12:33
  You you won't be able to tell why I say this and why I I
• 12:36
  wanted this to be the first one because I was in a similar
• 12:38
  scenario. Really.
• 12:39
  Believe it or not Ahmed, a few months ago, my my eldest
• 12:43
  daughter, she went to her school's friend's birthday
• 12:46
  party. Literally after school she went
• 12:50
  two hours. We got her back.
• 12:53
  But before that it actually happened.
• 12:55
  I spoke with the parent. I was like firstly, what is the
• 12:58
  food? I don't know.
• 12:59
  Is it halal? You know is there anything like
• 13:02
  like what's the ingredients? And and and you know her, the
• 13:04
  mother was very accommodating where she was like, you know,
• 13:07
  I'll make sure I don't put this. I don't mix that.
• 13:09
  I don't do that. Not saying I didn't trust her
• 13:11
  but I made sure I asked a million questions.
• 13:13
  So I understand wholly what is happening, what's going on with
• 13:16
  the food. So from that aspect, I was
• 13:19
  absolutely fine. And I was happy.
• 13:21
  And I knew, for example, the issues of gelatin, stuff like
• 13:24
  that. Yeah, no problem.
• 13:26
  An hour and a half later, I went to collect my daughter.
• 13:27
  Yeah. So I entered and the parents, I
• 13:32
  think the girl's uncle or whatever it was, they were in
• 13:35
  the kitchen and they were drinking alcohol, Right.
• 13:37
  OK. This friend, by the way, was not
• 13:39
  a Muslim, was a school friend. And the first thing the the
• 13:44
  father of the girl said to me is, can Ioffer you a drink?
• 13:47
  And I was like, no, I'm fine. And then he was like, OK, what
• 13:52
  about water? And now I'm thinking, what if
• 13:53
  there's been alcohol in that cup before I'm going.
• 13:56
  I'm like Habib, I'm very fine. Rahmala Aldek, basically in
• 13:59
  English. I'm saying thank you very much.
• 14:00
  I appreciate it. I'm absolutely fine.
• 14:01
  I was thirsty. But I was like, you know, I'm
• 14:03
  very good. So I I I tried to make sure
• 14:06
  like, I don't slip in that scenario.
• 14:08
  I'm not on that gathering. I could have went and joined
• 14:10
  them in the kitchen, said hi, how's life?
• 14:13
  How are you? You know, quickly, I took my
• 14:14
  daughter. Yeah.
• 14:15
  I need my love. Happy birthday.
• 14:18
  Let's go. It's not our place.
• 14:19
  I mean, we don't have a wajib if we can say, yeah, we've done
• 14:22
  what we came to do. Yeah, when we left.
• 14:24
  Yeah, and we say Wajib is cultural.
• 14:26
  Yeah, not not wajib as a compulsory.
• 14:28
  Religiously, but in terms of cultural.
• 14:30
  Being respectful. Yeah, you've done your duty of
• 14:33
  attending an invitation. Yeah.
• 14:35
  And, well, you know, sometimes you go to, like, these
• 14:37
  barbecues. I can imagine, like if you have
• 14:40
  a work BBQ or like, school friend, like you said.
• 14:42
  Yeah. And and you think it's like a a
• 14:44
  normal casual environment and formal environment, but
• 14:47
  obviously like beer is very prevalent in those kind of
• 14:49
  environments. So and like I said, talking to
• 14:51
  the children and making them aware that look this, we can
• 14:54
  have fun, you can play with your school friends, but stay away
• 14:57
  from the alcohol, don't touch it, don't drink it, try, do you
• 15:00
  know what I mean? And just to explain why as well,
• 15:03
  that's good. I think that's cool.
• 15:04
  Let's let's move on to another one.
• 15:06
  Just before we move on, there's this new thing called Halal
• 15:08
  Bear. But that's a conversation for
• 15:10
  another day. Conversation for another day
• 15:12
  bro. OK cool.
• 15:14
  My Sunni friends abandoned me after they knew I was a Shia.
• 15:17
  I missed them. My Sunni friends abandoned me
• 15:20
  after they found out I was a Shia and I missed them.
• 15:22
  What do you think? I'll be very honest and I'll say
• 15:27
  God took you away from them. I genuinely believe, like for
• 15:31
  someone to you know, you share the same faith, right?
• 15:35
  Yeah, you share the same Lord, you share the same prophet, the
• 15:39
  same Quran, the same Kabla, the same everything, pretty much
• 15:41
  everything. You define your Archaea and your
• 15:43
  theory and your whatnot, so we don't want to get into like
• 15:46
  polemics and stuff. But the main 'cause you share
• 15:49
  everything got to do with Laila, Allah, Muhammad as well, Allah.
• 15:52
  For them to leave you years after that friendship.
• 15:56
  God took you away from them. Trust me, trust me.
• 15:59
  Because either they can influence you one day or you can
• 16:02
  get into a fight with them one day.
• 16:03
  Not for them to reach that stage years down the line to find out
• 16:06
  your Shia and they leave you don't even chase them.
• 16:10
  What do you mean you miss them? You may miss memories with them,
• 16:13
  you may miss the good times with them, but the fact they left you
• 16:16
  and abandoned you and neglected you because you're Shia.
• 16:20
  Keep that door closed. Keep that door closed.
• 16:22
  Yeah, and you know, the foundations of friendship are
• 16:25
  built on things like sacrifice, built on trust, built on even
• 16:31
  compromise. At times they compromise to the
• 16:33
  point where you may say or believe one thing and I may say
• 16:37
  or believe another, but we agree to disagree.
• 16:40
  That is friendship, because friendship is.
• 16:42
  I will give you benefit of the doubt.
• 16:43
  You know, we talk about friendship and brotherhood of
• 16:45
  Islam. We talk about giving 70 excuses
• 16:47
  and things like that. Going putting yourself in harm's
• 16:50
  way to protect your friend, your companion, the rights of a
• 16:53
  companion. These are all things that we
• 16:54
  learn, of course, you know, and someone who's who abandons you
• 16:59
  on that, it might to give benefit of the doubt.
• 17:02
  If they are someone who genuinely cared about you, maybe
• 17:05
  they've been ill educated about what Shiism is.
• 17:08
  Maybe they've got the wrong impression about the sort of
• 17:10
  family you're brought up in. So in my opinion, I'd say the
• 17:12
  first thing one should do is maybe try and talk to them.
• 17:15
  So what's the problem? Have you got a misconception?
• 17:19
  Is there something I can answer for you?
• 17:21
  But generally speaking, if they know you and they love you and
• 17:24
  they trust you, your actions should speak for itself and you
• 17:28
  should. I mean, you're probably
• 17:29
  representing the faith properly, inshallah.
• 17:32
  And if you are, then a good friend wouldn't abandon you.
• 17:35
  Maybe they'll approach you and ask questions.
• 17:37
  Maybe they'll ask, I appreciate I love you as a human being, but
• 17:40
  can I ask why you believe this or why you do that?
• 17:42
  And then that's where seek dialogue.
• 17:44
  If that is happening, keep that friendship going as far as you
• 17:47
  can because. You're making an effort.
• 17:49
  You're making an effort and inshallah you can guide them
• 17:51
  towards the right part at the end of the day.
• 17:52
  Allah. And it can change the hearts at
• 17:54
  any time. But the fact they close the door
• 17:57
  on you, well leave that door closed.
• 17:59
  Yeah, trust me, Stay far away from that.
• 18:01
  There's a lot of friends we had growing up.
• 18:03
  Because I wouldn't consider them Sunni, by the way, for someone
• 18:06
  to a Sunni does not do that. Yeah, you're right.
• 18:08
  Trust me. Believe me, they may be extreme
• 18:10
  in their views. Those who done this to this Shia
• 18:12
  brother or sister, I'm not sure who it is.
• 18:14
  Yeah, I mean, for them, I, I, I don't, I don't think at all.
• 18:17
  They even consider you as a Muslim.
• 18:19
  So there's a lot of things that are that can go wrong down the
• 18:22
  line if you try to keep that friendship or chase that
• 18:25
  friendship. I missed them, but if you really
• 18:27
  missed them, I would say pray for them and ask a lost panel
• 18:29
  with Allah to guide them. Yeah, yeah, like that.
• 18:32
  Yeah, True friend wouldn't do that.
• 18:33
  Yeah, I'm not just Sunni friends bro.
• 18:35
  You can have non-muslim friends. You can have let's say even
• 18:39
  sometimes Shia friends. So I don't want to go into like
• 18:41
  Maharaja where sometimes friendship break over because
• 18:44
  you follow a different merger. Sometimes you know friendships
• 18:47
  break over because what one day you decided to do hazard this
• 18:51
  way. One day you decided to break
• 18:53
  your fast at this time. One day you decided, you know
• 18:56
  there's a hundred and million things I.
• 18:57
  Saw I saw Shaheli posted something really nice on
• 19:00
  Instagram I think. I don't know if you saw it.
• 19:02
  It was. It was basically a conversation
• 19:04
  with your mum which basically posed questions that we would
• 19:09
  ask the Imam if he were here Allah and what he did was he He
• 19:12
  answered those using a hadith from the previous imams because
• 19:16
  when one imams speaks as if as if the.
• 19:17
  All of us. Have spoken.
• 19:19
  So one of the questions is what should we as the Shia do at
• 19:24
  times like this? The world is is difficult and
• 19:26
  there's so many challenges. And the answer from one of the
• 19:29
  holy Imams in the Salaam was talking about unification of the
• 19:33
  Shia on the course towards a last planet Ireland was awaiting
• 19:37
  the Holy Imam, unification of the Shia, Bro.
• 19:42
  You know where the Imam says follow those with knowledge to
• 19:45
  the to the 4th Joaquin. In his Rebeto Sogorah, the 12th
• 19:49
  Imam says that he's talking about like trying to build a
• 19:52
  connection with the scholars, looking for truth, looking for
• 19:54
  help, but ultimately understanding everyone's on
• 19:56
  their journey. So yeah, I agree with you.
• 19:58
  I know we kind of got off a bit on that dilemma, but yeah, bro,
• 20:01
  got to stay united for sure. Yeah, honey, the the reason why
• 20:07
  I said Maraja, because it's a big one and our communities,
• 20:10
  sadly, they face this well, yeah, I'm going to go to the
• 20:14
  next dilemma because there is so many and we're going to try to
• 20:17
  get through as much as we can. This was interesting because I
• 20:21
  think I can relate to it possibly.
• 20:22
  You and I know a lot of people can relate to this one.
• 20:26
  My friends putting on music in the gathering or in their car.
• 20:32
  What do I do? What do I say?
• 20:34
  Yeah, it comes back to also friendship.
• 20:37
  OK. Our true friends, respectful of
• 20:41
  you, your opinions, your beliefs.
• 20:43
  Because true friends, like you said, say, will be accommodating
• 20:46
  to you. When you speak to strangers,
• 20:48
  sometimes you ask a stranger to accommodate for you.
• 20:50
  You might be in public and you ask for a place, a place to
• 20:53
  pray, for example, and a stranger at times will be
• 20:56
  accommodating. So surely your friend, if
• 20:58
  anything, will be very accommodating.
• 21:00
  So a true friend will allow you to share your your opinions with
• 21:06
  them, your beliefs with them, and even your request with them.
• 21:09
  So a true friend will allow you to ask.
• 21:11
  That should make you feel comfortable to say, listen, I'm
• 21:13
  really sorry, I'm not comfortable with the loud music.
• 21:15
  Can you put it down a bit, please?
• 21:17
  You know, especially like in the car, you know there's 234 people
• 21:19
  in the car. You can say like, can you just
• 21:21
  turn the music off? Let's have a conversation,
• 21:23
  Whatever. Good friends, they might laugh
• 21:25
  and tease, but they'll respect it now.
• 21:27
  If they are persistent with it, then I would personally avoid
• 21:32
  that. Personally avoid it because
• 21:34
  speaking from experience, music in the car is the most addicting
• 21:38
  form of music. I've always said it like for me,
• 21:41
  when I used to listen to music back in the day, primarily it
• 21:44
  was in the car, primarily I was driving.
• 21:46
  I was loving it. Loud music, Bass.
• 21:48
  All of that. They see me rolling.
• 21:50
  They see, yeah, yeah, yeah. No comment.
• 21:54
  But yeah, like, you know, that's where music can be at its most
• 21:58
  dangerous and influential. You know, stuff a lot you you.
• 22:00
  Every journey you go on is, is a risk in some form, all right.
• 22:04
  You're taking a risk when you go on a journey in the car.
• 22:06
  So you don't want to be doing something Haram or the
• 22:09
  environment of Haram at any point in your life, especially
• 22:12
  when you you know you're in a car.
• 22:13
  You know what can get tricky is that sometimes some of your
• 22:16
  friends, what's Haram to them in terms of music can be different
• 22:20
  as halal and Haram to you. Yeah.
• 22:23
  You know some people can go as I don't want to go to like fick
• 22:26
  and stuff but some people, some people who follow certain
• 22:28
  Maraja, they allow certain instruments certain like
• 22:32
  classical music. Others know complete blank
• 22:34
  blanket no music at all. So I think fast you go
• 22:37
  understands is it legit for them That's one thing to factor in.
• 22:42
  But I think the main the main important bit is the way you
• 22:45
  said how you approach it, how you request it.
• 22:48
  And I and I think if you are on the receiving end of that
• 22:50
  request please turn off the music or please turn down the
• 22:53
  music or possibly please change the music and make it more
• 22:55
  halal. I have no idea that don't see it
• 22:58
  in a negative way. I've always said you know why
• 23:01
  and I relate this. There was one time my brother I
• 23:03
  was speaking with, you know his his missus, his wife are left
• 23:07
  from home. Like he always tries to tell her
• 23:10
  what to do in her eyes, but for him he goes, no, I'm just
• 23:14
  telling her bro this is Haram. This is halal.
• 23:15
  This is Haram. This is halal.
• 23:17
  So I came to the conclusion that if you're on the receiving end
• 23:22
  of someone telling you this is wrong, this is right, this is
• 23:24
  wrong. Don't see as someone's being
• 23:26
  nagging, someone being negative, someone you know, killing the
• 23:29
  vibes, killing the mood. No.
• 23:30
  In fact, see, as that person Allah has send them to you to
• 23:34
  remind you to stay to what's halal.
• 23:37
  The fact you're friends with someone who can remind you to
• 23:39
  stay within the path of sarat. And what's the name?
• 23:42
  Yeah, bro, that's that's something you never want to lose
• 23:44
  out from. Yeah, don't you know Think bad
• 23:46
  of them, Aslan. Thank them and then thank Allah.
• 23:48
  Now you have friends like them. Because Allah, we have friends
• 23:52
  out there, Ahmed. Yeah.
• 23:53
  Who can take us to the pits of Hellfire?
• 23:56
  Or they can take us to the seven heavens.
• 24:00
  It's that close. And I would say just to answer
• 24:03
  the brother or sister. It's a sister.
• 24:07
  If you do find yourself being influenced negatively, minimize
• 24:13
  that friendship. Yeah, I agree.
• 24:16
  Just because you're best friends or BFFS or whatever is yeah, you
• 24:20
  can remind them so much to a certain extent, but the
• 24:23
  sometimes you can get it, can it can, you know.
• 24:25
  It pull you down. It takes you.
• 24:27
  As we always say. Unless you slip.
• 24:28
  You are the average of the five people you spend the most time
• 24:32
  with. I strongly believe in that
• 24:33
  philosophy, Ahmed, I'm going. To end up putting that on a
• 24:36
  T-shirt. Yeah, it's true, bro.
• 24:39
  It's true. Think about your five closest
• 24:41
  friends and think about their personalities, their approach,
• 24:45
  the way they speak, the slang they use.
• 24:47
  Like all of these kind of things, they interest who they
• 24:49
  listen to, speakers, scholars, what they talk.
• 24:52
  Do you know what I mean? You tend to be in and around
• 24:55
  that opinion. Well, there was a brother,
• 24:56
  Subhanallah, the brother, just the other day, not too long ago,
• 24:59
  he was, he was, he was, he's looking to get married and he
• 25:02
  was like very scared because like, I know the family, but I
• 25:05
  don't know the girl. Like I know the mum, I know the
• 25:08
  dad, I know the brother, I know how they are.
• 25:09
  But I don't know the girl. And what he's seen online of
• 25:12
  what she has allowed the world to see, in my opinion is that
• 25:16
  he's not sort of fully content with if she is that right spouse
• 25:21
  material for him. But I was like, maybe find out
• 25:25
  on about her friends, you know, ask around, how was her friends?
• 25:28
  And then you'd know, because I think a girl is really that
• 25:31
  reflection of those around. How the how did you spend it to
• 25:34
  marriage, huh? How did you?
• 25:35
  Everything goes back to marriage, Baba.
• 25:37
  Life is about getting married. OK, on the topic of bad friends,
• 25:39
  I've got quite, quite outlandish.
• 25:41
  One, I'm 23 and I've got two other friends of the same age.
• 25:46
  We have a friend that's called her Mary who wore hijab pray
• 25:49
  five times a day, came from a strict Muslim household,
• 25:51
  etcetera. One day I found out that Mary
• 25:55
  ran away from her home and is now living with a non mahram
• 25:58
  who's now her boyfriend from work.
• 26:00
  He is not a Muslim and her parents are absolutely,
• 26:03
  absolutely distraught and broken.
• 26:05
  The whole town knows as she is used as an example for parents
• 26:08
  towards their kids. Long story short, I'll speak it
• 26:11
  to my other friend Sarah about Mary and about how what she did
• 26:16
  was wrong and how we should, somewhat, as practicing Muslims
• 26:19
  at least, try and get her back and tell her what she done is
• 26:23
  wrong. Sarah completely disagrees,
• 26:25
  saying she felt sorry for Mary and that she's now and that
• 26:28
  she's a laughingstock and she's happy that she's living happily
• 26:30
  and free away from her strict Muslim household.
• 26:35
  I'm absolutely gobsmacked. All three of us are Muslims.
• 26:38
  I tried explaining to Sarah that her way of thinking is wrong and
• 26:42
  that as Muslims she and that as Muslims we should be helping
• 26:46
  her. Long story short, how can we
• 26:48
  how? How do we go about this?
• 26:50
  OK, so Mary is a convert. No, no, no.
• 26:53
  It's just fake. Names.
• 26:54
  They're three friends. They just made-up names.
• 26:56
  There's one. Round from home and two people
• 26:57
  were discussing it. OK, cool.
• 26:59
  All right, look, and I'll tell you my opinions.
• 27:01
  On that, but did you say there was a convert there somewhere?
• 27:03
  No, no, there's no convert. No, it's just fake names.
• 27:05
  OK, OK. OK.
• 27:06
  OK. Yeah, fake names, but basically.
• 27:08
  Aliases. Aliases.
• 27:10
  Yeah. FBI.
• 27:11
  More transfer. Names.
• 27:13
  Basically they this. I think this case study is very
• 27:18
  common. It's it's a it's a genuine
• 27:20
  story. By the way, I just really
• 27:21
  changed the names I. Like, I'm sure we all know
• 27:24
  similar stories. Some of us have been involved in
• 27:28
  stories like that, where someone we know or a sibling or a friend
• 27:32
  or a cousin or whatever it might be, so they exist.
• 27:36
  The first thing I'd say is we should never in my humble
• 27:39
  opinion never make judgements and share information which we
• 27:43
  may not know to be true. Especially when you're speaking
• 27:46
  on in representation of the family of of a girl or a boy
• 27:51
  who's run away from home, right. So you can never say look at
• 27:53
  that family they're so bad their child run away.
• 27:56
  But you don't know the circumstance.
• 27:57
  You don't know the situation. You don't know what the parents
• 27:59
  like, or the OR the child is like, or what they've been
• 28:01
  through and and their own struggles, their own jellies, in
• 28:03
  my opinion. Like you should probably have
• 28:04
  some some sort of traumatic experience.
• 28:07
  Yeah, yeah. It's trauma, bro.
• 28:08
  It's it's family trauma. It's childhood trauma.
• 28:10
  Whatever it is, it's a combination of different factors
• 28:14
  which have gone into something could have.
• 28:15
  Been treated incorrectly. At home, you get what I'm
• 28:17
  saying. So like we shouldn't, we
• 28:18
  shouldn't share that involuntarily to the.
• 28:20
  Community as friends, what what would you go about doing?
• 28:24
  So if I had the friends that run away for a boyfriend, is that
• 28:29
  what we said? Yeah, so let's say he ran away
• 28:31
  to his girlfriend. Yeah.
• 28:32
  A work boyfriend. What?
• 28:34
  What do I do? And let's say, for example,
• 28:36
  Ahmed's telling me, oh, let her live life.
• 28:38
  Is that what's happening? Yeah, yeah.
• 28:39
  That's why I'm on the SO. You're still close with him.
• 28:41
  And I'm still close with him. He's run.
• 28:44
  Away. Run away, OK?
• 28:46
  Would you talk to him or no? I think I would, yeah, I would.
• 28:49
  Why would I abandoned him? Yeah, I'm the same.
• 28:54
  Yes, what they're doing is wrong.
• 28:56
  Yes, what the? The fact that in the first of
• 28:59
  all, the relationship, that's not halal, it's a sin.
• 29:04
  I sin differently just because they sin like that.
• 29:08
  Why would I look differently? I'm not.
• 29:10
  We always use that phrase. You know, we're not my so mean.
• 29:12
  Yes, I know we're not my so mean.
• 29:13
  We should try to live like them and be like them and refrain
• 29:16
  from sinning at all. But that sin doesn't make them
• 29:20
  evil. That sin doesn't make it make
• 29:22
  them as a human being, like not deserving of, you know,
• 29:26
  reminders and guidance and things like that.
• 29:28
  And I think you should keep that relationship and persuade them
• 29:31
  to make that relationship Highland, a loss of Highland
• 29:34
  with Allah. You know, it allows you to get
• 29:35
  married. Why become boyfriend and
• 29:37
  girlfriend when you can be husband and wife, right.
• 29:39
  Yeah. And I I, I think that's the sort
• 29:41
  of advice I would give. Yeah.
• 29:43
  And if you truly, I don't know, you can't get out that
• 29:46
  relationship and they're the world to you and you don't want
• 29:49
  to go back to the old ways and you don't want to repent, make
• 29:52
  it halal, the least you can do. Especially if if if in the
• 29:55
  dilemma, they're all still Muslim.
• 29:57
  Yeah, and I'm sure they'd. Believe it.
• 29:59
  Oh, you said the the. Other thing as well is said is
• 30:02
  is they. Wasn't Muslim.
• 30:03
  I think they all. Three.
• 30:04
  All three of them are. Muslim No, the part that she's
• 30:07
  with is not the part. That is not.
• 30:08
  Muslim, but the point being. Is like if the.
• 30:10
  That complicates the. Believer that the Muslim has
• 30:13
  moved out, then you know you can speak to them.
• 30:16
  But for me, it would be about trying to keep them part of the
• 30:20
  community to some degree. Because when they've when
• 30:23
  they've excluded themselves, they've isolated themselves from
• 30:26
  the environment or the community of Islam.
• 30:29
  Try your best as a friend to keep them in touch with it, you
• 30:33
  know, checking on them. It doesn't even have to be like
• 30:35
  preaching to them or bring them to dark mail or Jalis.
• 30:38
  Just check in with them and make sure they have a good Muslim
• 30:41
  friend. I think that is probably the
• 30:43
  biggest loss for them because. Yeah.
• 30:45
  In the long run, you can potentially make that
• 30:48
  relationship halal, get married, make the boyfriend a Muslim,
• 30:52
  whatever. But then she's now traumatized
• 30:55
  and doesn't want to be associated with the religion,
• 30:57
  and it matches of the backlash she's faced.
• 30:59
  And imagine how many people have cut her off.
• 31:02
  Yeah, so that's probably the biggest thing you'd want to fix
• 31:04
  for. Them I heard a story.
• 31:05
  I heard a story last week from from a friend of a friend.
• 31:10
  Basically a a friend told my friend the story who told me
• 31:14
  very similar to this about how in their family something
• 31:18
  traumatic happened. Very similar.
• 31:20
  Subhan Allah child ran away. The whole community cut off the
• 31:23
  family of the child and the parents were distraught that the
• 31:26
  child ran away. OK, now my friend told me this
• 31:30
  and said that yeah, they're they're still in touch with
• 31:32
  their sibling. It was a sibling who ran away.
• 31:36
  So I said OK at first I was like, how can you stay in touch?
• 31:39
  Just they did some really messed up things.
• 31:40
  But then I thought about was actually.
• 31:41
  As in, they run away because they wanted to exit, like the
• 31:43
  Islamic environment. Is that what it was?
• 31:45
  Yeah, it was something along those lines.
• 31:47
  I don't want to get into too much detail because it's quite
• 31:49
  unique case, but and the point being is, is that I kind of get
• 31:52
  it because you've got to play the long game like you, you have
• 31:55
  to work on supporting these people firstly from a social and
• 31:58
  a mental and emotional perspective.
• 32:00
  They've been cut off from all their families and friends.
• 32:02
  You don't want to turn them into someone who has started from
• 32:05
  scratch with a new life, hates religion, hates what the
• 32:08
  religion has become and those who represent the religion.
• 32:11
  So keeping them as a friend 1st and then obviously trying your
• 32:15
  best to speak to them when the chance comes and they will open
• 32:17
  up to you when you are approachable.
• 32:20
  So yeah, I agree with you to the point, like trying your best to
• 32:23
  be a good Islamic influence, but at the same time a good like
• 32:26
  human. If you do nag them like what
• 32:28
  you're doing is wrong, I think that pushes them further and
• 32:30
  further away. Yeah, yeah.
• 32:31
  You have to let them open up in. There, I've always said, like
• 32:34
  never pinpoint, like I've never said it here, but like when I
• 32:37
  speak with people, but stop telling them, putting them down,
• 32:39
  tell them this is wrong. They know it's hard on.
• 32:41
  Tell them how to make it hard on this is wrong.
• 32:43
  Okay. How do I make it right?
• 32:44
  The thing is, we just love pointing and saying this is
• 32:46
  wrong, this is we love it. Human means they just love
• 32:49
  telling people off, putting people down and telling the
• 32:52
  world and gossiping about them all around the world, but never
• 32:54
  showing them, advising them, guiding them, holding their
• 32:56
  hands, whatever it is. Oh, what'll I bring them back?
• 32:59
  And I say this, bro, what will I say this?
• 33:02
  I grew up in a beautiful community.
• 33:05
  I grew up with a community that has made me mean.
• 33:08
  I can say OK And I have a law of friends and I have friends of
• 33:12
  friends. And I have handed.
• 33:14
  I've been blessed without I'll say hundreds of friends.
• 33:16
  Allah has been so muscal to me that wherever I go, I never feel
• 33:20
  I'm alone. OK.
• 33:21
  I've reached that stage where I I can click, I can talk, I can
• 33:27
  there's I don't have an issue having friends.
• 33:30
  I know a lot of people face this.
• 33:32
  But the reason why I say this, when I grew up, I used to have
• 33:35
  some friends who never had that. I used to have some friends who
• 33:40
  whether my friends fathers will tell them off whether community
• 33:44
  members will come to my friends and say huh look at this guy and
• 33:48
  look at other way hang with other way.
• 33:50
  Well that used to hurt me. I'm I'm not better than no one
• 33:54
  else, and I'm being very honest. But when you say that your son,
• 33:56
  the son doesn't even go to the mosque anymore, it makes them
• 33:59
  feel like I can't use the words here, but what makes them feel
• 34:03
  like? Rubbish.
• 34:05
  The worst of the worst. Yeah, yeah, of course.
• 34:07
  Yeah, I get. That, yeah.
• 34:08
  And imagine. You.
• 34:10
  See a community member? Well, the brain is like 1415.
• 34:14
  Yeah, he does something wrong. Give him a chance.
• 34:19
  Give him a chance. Chat to him.
• 34:21
  Want to chat to him privately? Yeah, yeah.
• 34:23
  People love to do it in public. And they show, oh, I'm better
• 34:25
  than you, I'm better than all of you.
• 34:27
  And now where are they? I just think where they are.
• 34:30
  Well, not where they are. Well, they've left a lot of
• 34:33
  things within Islam because of scenarios and situations.
• 34:38
  They say their community is judging.
• 34:40
  Someone told me last month one of my friends who's who is still
• 34:45
  Muslim, similar, not I would say similar but they're still Muslim
• 34:48
  but they don't come to the mosque as much.
• 34:49
  And I spoke to him, I was like why?
• 34:51
  Like you know, I've been close with him for like a number of
• 34:54
  years. So I'm now at a stage where I
• 34:56
  can talk to him and ask direct questions.
• 34:59
  And I asked him why. He said because you the
• 35:00
  community's too judgement too judging.
• 35:03
  They judge me too much like they're way too judge mental of
• 35:06
  me. If I do with all wrong, someone
• 35:09
  will come and tell me off. Let me do it.
• 35:11
  Let me do what I want. I said to bro at times like this
• 35:13
  people may just want to help you.
• 35:15
  Maybe they're advising you they're doing.
• 35:16
  He said no, people judge me. If I wear my ring on a different
• 35:19
  finger, they'll judge me. I said I can't fault you.
• 35:23
  I understand you like you're trying to make your effort.
• 35:25
  If you're doing with law, at least you're doing it right.
• 35:28
  It's you know, it's and but of course there's cases where
• 35:30
  people say, look I want to help you perfect it and but everyone
• 35:34
  should look at themselves first and foremost before going to
• 35:37
  someone else. Do not throw stones in the glass
• 35:40
  house and you can't judge. Someone.
• 35:42
  I love that. You you can't judge someone
• 35:44
  until you are at a point yourself where you are my soul
• 35:47
  man. We're not at that point.
• 35:48
  Of course there's I'm going to build my own roof and you can't.
• 35:51
  You have to try your best to submit the approach.
• 35:53
  The clerk of advising someone. We always talk about.
• 35:57
  In the case of the World Law, we talk about the the way Marvel
• 36:00
  has someone saying advised the Elder instead of going to him
• 36:03
  like yo old man, you're praying you'll do well, no, they showed.
• 36:06
  Him. They didn't tell him off.
• 36:09
  They didn't tell him off. They didn't hear correctly.
• 36:12
  Yeah, but look, there's these, this.
• 36:15
  We can go on for ages about this dilemma, but it comes back to
• 36:18
  to. I love how you see, you know,
• 36:20
  don't throw stones on a glass house.
• 36:22
  You know, I always hear this. And as you said this,
• 36:24
  something's final. I just kicked back to my mind
• 36:27
  where I'm not going to go into too much detail, but I remember
• 36:31
  there was this brother where he was like, look at him, look at
• 36:35
  him, look at him. You know when we were in school,
• 36:38
  when we were back in school, you know, on graduation day, they
• 36:41
  went up straight and they shook hands with the opposite gender.
• 36:45
  Me. No, I didn't.
• 36:46
  I I didn't shake hands. I said no Haram, I'm not.
• 36:51
  And look what the guy is now anyway.
• 36:52
  But yeah, yeah, that moment of like, arrogance.
• 36:58
  And there was this. There was when I was young,
• 37:00
  there was a guy in the mosque while we were praying.
• 37:02
  We must have been like 10 years old.
• 37:05
  The guy we went into Sajud in Salah, it was at Madrasa.
• 37:08
  So on Sunday school, he's we're in Sajud.
• 37:11
  He stopped. He started doing this like
• 37:12
  elbowing me. I was like, what's going on?
• 37:14
  So I like, resisted. I was like 1012, I started doing
• 37:17
  it back. So after Salah, I was like,
• 37:19
  what's going on? He's like, yeah, I wanted to
• 37:21
  test if you were concentrating your prayer.
• 37:23
  I was like bro you you elbowed me first and you're testing me
• 37:26
  like anyway but this is subhanallah like you know the
• 37:29
  way our our our minds work sometimes we should give benefit
• 37:32
  the doubt to each other and ask if they give this and.
• 37:34
  There's no everyone. And you know, you gave an
• 37:36
  example of of of something you're related to about, you
• 37:39
  know, everyone's judging me. Yeah, Sometimes I think we think
• 37:42
  people are judging us. You understand?
• 37:45
  I think we overthink it. No.
• 37:47
  Yeah. Yeah.
• 37:47
  My my point is, my point is we allow it to consume.
• 37:51
  Us. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 37:51
  We might be so hell bent on making sure we look good, smell
• 37:55
  good, we, you know what I mean? Like trying to keep up with with
• 37:58
  the the Joses is the phrase, you know trying to keep a reputation
• 38:01
  and image active and constant. I think I've the last.
• 38:06
  I think subhanallah since I've got married I got rid of that
• 38:09
  from other personal level. Like obviously you have to have
• 38:12
  a level of self respect you've. Got high standards there.
• 38:16
  What do you mean? You put me down?
• 38:18
  Yes, a lot. Joking.
• 38:19
  Nah, man. No, no.
• 38:20
  Like I think there has to be a level of self respect where you
• 38:23
  you hold yourself to a degree of and a standard like you said,
• 38:27
  but not to the point where you're doing it because someone
• 38:29
  else is doing it. Like, I'll never understand.
• 38:31
  I've never been into like, the latest shoes, latest phones.
• 38:36
  I'm not saying there's anything wrong with it, but just on a
• 38:38
  personal level, I don't get it. Some people do it because they
• 38:40
  have a genuine interest in technology or fashion or
• 38:43
  whatever, but some people do it because other guys have got it.
• 38:46
  Well, we upgrade, we upgrade our iPhones, but we don't upgrade
• 38:49
  our salar. Asset.
• 38:51
  We download the latest, we download the latest updates.
• 38:54
  When it comes to, I don't know, FIFA PlayStation after my review
• 38:58
  and. Things like this updates.
• 39:00
  But no one's updating the Quran recitations.
• 39:03
  Yeah, you're right, bro. And there's so much things, I
• 39:05
  think if you think about it, all of these things that we allow it
• 39:08
  to consume our lives is all the worldly matters.
• 39:11
  Yeah. And I think if we can forgive
• 39:13
  and forget, Allah will remember us.
• 39:15
  Yeah, trust me all. Right.
• 39:17
  Let's move on. We'll maybe do like two or three
• 39:19
  more. All right.
• 39:19
  OK. So should we get out of the way
• 39:24
  shaking hands? I think we should do the shaking
• 39:28
  hands, bro. There is 10s of them, tens. 10S
• 39:31
  Yeah, maybe. Like hundreds of people, people
• 39:33
  saying asking hands look shaking.
• 39:35
  Hands. Hands, bro.
• 39:36
  It's not that deep, look. Shake my hand, shake my hand, I.
• 39:39
  Said, Do you know what it is? It's not, it's not the biggest
• 39:43
  issue we face as a Western Shire community, It's really not.
• 39:46
  But the fact that we have this issue look goes to show that,
• 39:49
  that we're still on a journey, right?
• 39:50
  I'll tell you my opinion. My opinion first and foremost is
• 39:54
  follow what your mudra says. Say this is Stanim I love.
• 39:56
  Preserve him and lengthen his life.
• 39:58
  Preserve him and protect him, he says.
• 40:02
  He basically says you should not shake the opposite gender's hand
• 40:05
  unless it is extremely difficult or unbearable to do so.
• 40:09
  Right. So which I find to be quite, in
• 40:12
  my opinion, quite subjective. And that's that's a good thing,
• 40:15
  because you can judge the situation based on your own
• 40:18
  principles, your own opinions and your own circumstances.
• 40:21
  So if the situation is going to cause you harm or unbearable
• 40:25
  difficulty, then don't do it. For example, if I don't know I I
• 40:31
  really don't want to give a scenario.
• 40:32
  But if you're like a place of work and you know if you don't
• 40:35
  interact with whatever it is, you may lose your job, the job
• 40:39
  may lose your livelihood and therefore you can't feed your
• 40:41
  family, then that will cause you unbearable difficulty.
• 40:44
  It makes sense and this is the way I see it.
• 40:46
  Of course I'm not a marriage or whatever, but your marriage will
• 40:49
  tell you the the the reasoning that you should follow.
• 40:54
  So that's all I'm gonna say on it.
• 40:56
  You can't blanket say it's Haram or halal or it's very subjective
• 40:59
  according to my merger. Interesting.
• 41:02
  I know you've obviously got a different opinion on it.
• 41:04
  No, I don't have a different opinion.
• 41:06
  We live in a society where you can't say no to shaking hands
• 41:08
  and people will get it. The thing is, I think the first
• 41:11
  thing when it comes to shaking the hands of the opposite
• 41:13
  gender, see what losses. It's not allowed.
• 41:17
  It's not allowed if if you are truly facing a difficult
• 41:22
  scenario where I don't know it can be relating to a Haraj, you
• 41:26
  know some Maraja say when you reach like this level of you
• 41:29
  said hardship or something like this, there is a point where I
• 41:32
  think you can give in but it doesn't mean you do give in.
• 41:35
  Yeah, yeah and yeah that's true. Like if I think of it what is
• 41:38
  going to give me difficulty there?
• 41:42
  There isn't anything that I I can give an explanation.
• 41:46
  This is why I think everyone has it differently.
• 41:49
  So something that may be easy or hard for me, something that's
• 41:53
  hard or easy to them. So I I really don't know where
• 41:55
  that balance is or what to give. But ultimately bro, just
• 41:58
  remember Allah says is Haram, Haram and.
• 42:00
  Look bro, it goes beyond shaking hands because we've got
• 42:03
  questions here about so if someone asked, I can't find it,
• 42:05
  but someone asked about fist bumping in my university.
• 42:08
  I go to a university, which is Mick.
• 42:10
  Someone said, Can I fist bump? Some people will get hugs.
• 42:13
  Like we grew up in a society where you go to mixed schools,
• 42:16
  girls will hug you or university girls will hug you or even in
• 42:19
  workplaces sometimes like girls will come and hug you like you
• 42:22
  can like say, look, sorry. I'm.
• 42:24
  I'm really sorry. I'm.
• 42:25
  I don't do that stuff. Do you know what I mean?
• 42:27
  And they might be like, what? OK.
• 42:28
  And then they'll remember it. They'll move on.
• 42:30
  And you know things will just carry on.
• 42:32
  They'll you'll move past. If anything people gave respect
• 42:34
  to you because you have core principles and values that you
• 42:36
  adhere to. You live your life by, so yeah.
• 42:40
  And I would say, by the way, when you refuse that handshake,
• 42:43
  yeah, I think it's the most amazing.
• 42:47
  It's a good feeling. Feeling of the day euphoria.
• 42:49
  Because number one, you know you remember the law #2, you know
• 42:52
  Allah is watching you and you know that this is the wrong act
• 42:54
  to act upon. OK, but I think the most harage
• 42:58
  bit here what's the harage in English like?
• 43:01
  The most difficult uncomfortable feeling is is for the receiving
• 43:06
  end, the person who extended their hand for.
• 43:09
  Example. Because I don't think we should
• 43:10
  be the ones extending hands. By the way, you know there's
• 43:13
  Muslims who go straight up. They should, they shouldn't put
• 43:15
  yourself. They should be throwing
• 43:17
  milkshakes instead of handshakes.
• 43:18
  But but honestly, realistically, just don't extend your hand.
• 43:22
  Of course bro, do. It's very simple, like put your
• 43:24
  hand on your chest. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 43:26
  Just say. You don't need me to say I'm
• 43:28
  sorry. Trust me.
• 43:30
  People now live in in a world where they know Muslims don't
• 43:32
  shake hands, man. I do this tactic.
• 43:34
  And and then when you shake hand, they say, oh, the Muslims
• 43:37
  shook my hand. She shook my hand.
• 43:38
  He shook my hand. I try and do this tactic a lot,
• 43:41
  so when I when I walk into like work, meetings or meet because I
• 43:44
  meet clients a lot, I'll make sure it sounds a bit cheesy.
• 43:48
  But I'll try and make sure that my hands are full.
• 43:51
  So I'm carrying a laptop bag or a bottle of water.
• 43:53
  I'll be like, oh, hi, how are you?
• 43:54
  And I'll, do you know what I mean?
• 43:55
  I'll signal or I'll put my hand on my chest or something similar
• 43:58
  just to to, you know what I mean?
• 44:00
  Make it show that I'm occupied and I'm busy.
• 44:03
  I'm rushing. I'll walk past.
• 44:04
  I'm like, hello and do you know what I mean?
• 44:06
  Because people, you know, they you can play off cool or like
• 44:10
  you said, you can even just say you can put your hand on your
• 44:12
  chest. You can if anything.
• 44:13
  It's a lot of respect. Yeah.
• 44:15
  Let's move on. Can I add one more thing by the
• 44:16
  just one because I just remembered the scenario.
• 44:18
  I saw a video a few years ago, and it just serves my memory
• 44:22
  now. There was a Muslim brother who
• 44:25
  went on live television, I think it was in Australia.
• 44:28
  OK, so he brang roses with him. So he brang a bunch of flowers
• 44:34
  onto the show. And by the time he got to the
• 44:37
  show, he had one more, one more rose remaining.
• 44:41
  And the presenter, you know, extended her hand to welcome him
• 44:43
  on the show and he gave her the flower instead of the handshake.
• 44:46
  He gave her the Rose. And she was shocked.
• 44:49
  And she was like, I don't know, flower on the handshake.
• 44:50
  Why can't I shake my hand like she felt offended?
• 44:52
  He goes, I'm giving you the flowers you see as I'm
• 44:54
  respecting you. Like I understood his point of
• 44:57
  view and and you know it. It makes you think like you have
• 45:00
  to go prepared. Like he this guy knew he's going
• 45:03
  to enter a western organization full of non maharams and
• 45:07
  everyone's going to start extending their hands.
• 45:09
  The least I can do is try my best to not let them feel
• 45:13
  disrespected, but rather often them something worthy of
• 45:16
  respect. Yeah, I saw something similar
• 45:18
  and I think it was European University where in in the
• 45:21
  graduation ceremony a guy went like this and he didn't shake
• 45:25
  the the principal's hand and the principal was so mad they gave a
• 45:28
  speech like a an Islamophobic. Speech Was this in Norway?
• 45:32
  Norway, I think. Yeah, I've seen this nonsense.
• 45:34
  Anyway, let's move on. Sid.
• 45:35
  Have you got another dilemma that you like?
• 45:38
  That. Have come to my.
• 45:38
  Mind, there's more. Let me choose one.
• 45:40
  Hang on, hang on, hang on. So many about.
• 45:44
  There's a lot of marriage ones. A lot of marriage, a lot of
• 45:46
  relationships, opposite gender. OK, OK.
• 45:50
  Oh, this is amazing, my wife says.
• 45:54
  Not my wife. I'm reading someone's wife.
• 45:57
  My wife says how money is hers and mine is all ours.
• 46:01
  Can I hide my bank statement from her?
• 46:06
  What do you think? So he's saying that his money is
• 46:09
  ours, but he will start. No, no, no.
• 46:11
  So he's saying his wife, she's telling him that her money is
• 46:16
  hers and his money is him and hers, basically.
• 46:21
  So can he hide his bank? I think he's trying to say
• 46:23
  basically, can I not show her how much I'm earning?
• 46:25
  I don't know. I have no idea.
• 46:26
  OK, it's an interesting one now. I don't know if there's like a
• 46:30
  hint of of sarcasm to that or not, but look, I don't know the
• 46:34
  look. As far as I understand, Islamic
• 46:36
  perspective on it is, is your wife's money is hers Islamic?
• 46:40
  It is hers. What she earns is for her,
• 46:43
  basically, and what she's earned and saved is hers.
• 46:46
  Don't interfere with it. It's not your business
• 46:48
  Islamically, OK, if she volunteers to contribute, to
• 46:52
  share, that's her decision entirely.
• 46:54
  As a man, or at least for us, we believe that our responsibility
• 46:58
  is to provide and protect and be a leader and a father and
• 47:01
  whatever it is. You know, there's the whole
• 47:03
  discussion on this and my understanding of it is that as a
• 47:07
  male, your responsibilities include provision of of food and
• 47:13
  and shelter for your wife and and the family.
• 47:16
  You know, when she enters your home, she's leaving the the
• 47:19
  guardianship of her father at Forkley speaking or her family.
• 47:23
  You are there then her protector.
• 47:26
  So she hides her money from you. You can't do nothing about it,
• 47:30
  bro. Your money is literally there
• 47:32
  for the family. This is the way I see it.
• 47:35
  Can you hide your bank statement?
• 47:36
  I don't know. That's getting a bit like too
• 47:37
  deep. That's my How how would you hide
• 47:40
  your bank statement? Like, would the letter come home
• 47:42
  the same? It comes through the letterbox.
• 47:44
  She brings in another note. The letter opener.
• 47:46
  She opens it, scans it, and she comes in.
• 47:49
  You told me you only got 3K this month, but here's a 3400.
• 47:52
  Where's that 400? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 47:54
  Yeah. That's interesting on that side
• 47:55
  of things that you sorry man, you got to deal with that.
• 47:58
  Yourself. But but on the level I think
• 47:59
  just to address it, let me address it as well.
• 48:01
  Like you said, her money is her money.
• 48:05
  Yeah, the wealth she has is her wealth.
• 48:06
  Whatever she has, Allah is given to her is hers and it belongs to
• 48:09
  her and whatever she wants to do with it.
• 48:11
  Habibi is her choice. Yeah, but at the same time,
• 48:14
  gong, gong. Gong, gong, gong.
• 48:16
  You should have. You should have a relationship
• 48:18
  where you can be transparent and you can advise and support each
• 48:21
  other. This is my opinion.
• 48:23
  Yeah, that's if we all live in La La Land.
• 48:25
  The problem is, no, everyone lives in this La La Land, right?
• 48:28
  So I I think for us to get to Lala land, we have to understand
• 48:31
  what Islam is telling us. You understand?
• 48:33
  So if Islam says it's her money, she doesn't want you to put your
• 48:36
  nose into her money. Why put your nose in there in
• 48:39
  the first? Place.
• 48:39
  Fair enough. Fair enough.
• 48:40
  Look, I, I yeah, I agree. But like I said, the only thing
• 48:43
  I feel is like as a man you have to be.
• 48:47
  In my opinion, you have. You have to give your wife the
• 48:51
  respect she deserves by being transparent with her about where
• 48:55
  things are at financially, OK? He doesn't need to tell her
• 49:00
  everything. No, you don't need to tell her
• 49:01
  everything, but you can give her an indication.
• 49:03
  OK, you know, we're doing good. We're not doing good.
• 49:05
  We're saving, we're growing, we're spending whatever it is.
• 49:08
  So she knows. Because then if if she knows
• 49:10
  that Hamden lie, you got a raise and you're saving 1002 thousand
• 49:14
  $3000 a month or pounds per month, and she knows that she
• 49:18
  can, maybe she has the opportunity to leverage her
• 49:20
  money for something personal or something that she wants rather
• 49:25
  than needs, for argument's sake. Some may not choose to do that.
• 49:28
  But look, it's a sensitive topic.
• 49:31
  Different people have different. Opinions.
• 49:33
  I I don't think it should be sensitive at all.
• 49:35
  No, but it is a sensitive topic for people.
• 49:37
  That's what I'm saying. It is a sensitive topic for
• 49:39
  people. Like for some people, it's kind
• 49:41
  of like why we live in a world now where you cannot survive on
• 49:44
  one's salary and you can't, in many cases, you.
• 49:46
  Can't. So they're telling me the men
• 49:47
  expect their wife to chip in. There are men who expect their
• 49:50
  wife to chill. Of course there are.
• 49:51
  They're not. Saying they should.
• 49:52
  No, no, no, of course there are. If there's men that have the
• 49:54
  expectation from their wife, they're not men.
• 49:57
  I, I and the eyes of Allah. Soprano matala.
• 49:59
  This is wrong. But I'm saying that it exists so
• 50:02
  we live. And I'm not saying it's chill,
• 50:04
  hear me out. I'm.
• 50:05
  I'm not saying it's unreasonable for them to expect that because
• 50:08
  for men who are not brought up in a in a mindset where they
• 50:12
  know that the expectation is on them and then let's say they're
• 50:15
  not brought up in a religious environment, they all grew up
• 50:18
  thinking, well, my, my sister studied to be a dentist and my
• 50:21
  mum is a doctor. And why?
• 50:23
  I mean, I've grown up in a world where my family work and they're
• 50:26
  female and they contribute and they share bills.
• 50:28
  So I expect the same with my wife, for argument's sake.
• 50:30
  Or you may even have the flip side where a girl is brought up
• 50:33
  and she she studies and she wants to become an expert in the
• 50:35
  field and she says, look, I want to put my expertise to use and I
• 50:38
  want to build a family with. I'm not going to in a world
• 50:41
  where everything is so high. In the UK, we're in a recession.
• 50:45
  I will not do nothing if my husband is struggling.
• 50:48
  But look, that's what I'm saying.
• 50:49
  Like, for every situation, it's very circumstantial.
• 50:51
  It's different. So you get me?
• 50:53
  Some husbands will work extra jobs, put extra money in the
• 50:57
  bank, food on the table so their wife does not have.
• 51:01
  To Ahmed, I fully go. I'm just playing devil's
• 51:03
  advocate, yeah. But I'm saying like, look, I
• 51:06
  respect the guys who go out who put their their health.
• 51:11
  I don't say like this, but put themselves maybe secondary for
• 51:15
  the comfort of their wife and their kids for our good sake to
• 51:17
  be primary. I respect that as a man.
• 51:20
  OK, but now is is, according to this dilemma, is her money her
• 51:24
  money? Yes, yeah.
• 51:26
  So he shouldn't have an expectation.
• 51:29
  I don't want to drag on drag on with this, but the fact her
• 51:32
  money is her money there should be no expectation that she will
• 51:35
  decide to chip in. But the most beautiful thing I
• 51:38
  think from my wife if she does have finances and she does know
• 51:41
  the husband is struggling, he's working hard, Well I will.
• 51:44
  I will ease the guys heart. Your husband would truly
• 51:48
  appreciate you. Well, La Laveen, if you can chip
• 51:51
  in, yeah. But there should be an
• 51:52
  expectation, yeah. But there should never ever be
• 51:55
  an expectation. And and his wife is wrong, by
• 51:57
  the way, by his money is ours. It's not.
• 52:00
  Yeah, what do you mean his money is?
• 52:02
  Ours. No, it's not.
• 52:03
  A lot of people, it's not her. Right.
• 52:05
  All the money he earns does not all belong to both of them.
• 52:09
  He just needs to maintain her, do you understand?
• 52:13
  So there's a whole. Wall to this very.
• 52:15
  Technically, yeah, yeah. Yeah.
• 52:16
  Point being is he uses his money to spend on her and his kids for
• 52:19
  our goodness sake. For her and her kids.
• 52:21
  Yeah, and hit their kids, yeah. Yeah, but to a certain standard,
• 52:25
  yeah, of course that she's Mistura and that she's, you
• 52:27
  know, she's she's under a roof fed.
• 52:30
  She's being fed. The basics are available to her,
• 52:34
  not, you know, buying the designer Gucci bags or going to
• 52:37
  the, I don't know, the beaches in Dubai and Turkey and things
• 52:40
  like that. No, no, no, no.
• 52:41
  That's not his job. Yeah.
• 52:43
  Look, I'll be honest then. We all on a journey.
• 52:46
  I think when you get married, you constantly learn.
• 52:49
  You have fights, you have arguments, you have deep
• 52:51
  discussions, difficult discussions.
• 52:53
  Sometimes there'll be laughter, tears.
• 52:55
  Sometimes there'll be great days where you, you, you spend and
• 52:58
  you get great things. You go on holidays.
• 53:00
  Sometimes there'll be difficult days where you're struggling to
• 53:02
  put food on the table, metaphorically speaking.
• 53:05
  Or maybe you can't afford something you really want, or
• 53:07
  you want to go somewhere and you can't.
• 53:09
  The point being is you have to work together.
• 53:13
  I really, really mean this. You have to find a middle
• 53:16
  ground. You have to be transactional,
• 53:20
  yeah. But also be understanding, OK,
• 53:24
  as a guy, maybe sometimes me, maybe I'm too transactional.
• 53:28
  I might think of it as a balance sheet.
• 53:30
  No, you can't do this. You can't spend the money to do
• 53:33
  this because we're saving for that.
• 53:35
  OK, fine. This is where the Hold Your side
• 53:37
  kicks in. No, I'm serious though.
• 53:38
  You've got to be corporate about it.
• 53:40
  But at the same times you also have to be understand the
• 53:42
  emotion. Of course.
• 53:43
  Anyway I must. Be an accountant for his
• 53:45
  relationship. Well, no, they're both.
• 53:49
  No, you've got to know how to make one more LCD.
• 53:51
  All right, guys. The next one.
• 53:53
  Let's move on to the next one. Go on, What's the one give you
• 53:55
  one? Go for it.
• 53:57
  How long will you be going? About. 40-50 minutes.
• 54:00
  OK. We'll do one, one more, maybe
• 54:02
  one or two. OK, I've got a dilemma.
• 54:05
  I have a crush on a non-muslim guy.
• 54:07
  Well he goes to a nearby university and we're both second
• 54:10
  year undergrad students. Now I know that I want to be
• 54:13
  married, but later down the road as I want to get a PhD first.
• 54:17
  I never dated in my whole life. I am practicing Muslim who's
• 54:20
  very serious about our religion. But I don't look Muslim because
• 54:23
  I don't wear a hijab and I'm kind of liberal.
• 54:26
  I really want to get to know him better.
• 54:28
  But there's also something in the back of my head telling me
• 54:31
  to stop because I'm afraid of going down the Haram path.
• 54:34
  What should I do? I'm deeply confused.
• 54:38
  I hope everyone heard that at home, said your first thoughts.
• 54:41
  So she's a Muslim, she's at uni, she's practicing, but she's
• 54:45
  liberal. She's practicing, doesn't work
• 54:48
  her job, she's liberal. She wants to finish her PhD,
• 54:52
  then she wants to get married and she wants to know if she can
• 54:55
  date this guy who's not a Muslim.
• 54:57
  But she's worried. She's got, she's completely.
• 54:59
  But she doesn't want to fall into Haram.
• 55:01
  Yeah, she's completely the fact she doesn't want to fall into
• 55:03
  Haram is a great place to be. Yeah.
• 55:05
  And I think that's a great starting point And if you if if
• 55:08
  you know when you go to into a business you know you you you
• 55:12
  have to find solutions to problems and you have listed a
• 55:15
  number of problems bro. You can find solutions to them
• 55:18
  one by one. But the fact I I don't know the
• 55:20
  fact the man is not a Muslim in the 1st place.
• 55:23
  How on earth are you going to try?
• 55:25
  Tell him. You know, come towards the path
• 55:27
  of Islam when you're telling me No offence sister, you're not
• 55:30
  wearing the hijab and you're very liberal.
• 55:32
  How does? That she's got enough phrase he
• 55:33
  might become Muslim. She's got enough phrase.
• 55:37
  She can make him Muslim. I'm I'm not saying you're
• 55:40
  negatively, but I'm saying if, if, if, if you, if you are
• 55:44
  trying to keep things halal before working on others.
• 55:47
  I think you go work on yourself. That includes men as well.
• 55:51
  I'm not just mentioning hijab here.
• 55:53
  I don't, I don't want people to think I'm just focusing solely
• 55:57
  from this entire dilemma on hijab.
• 55:59
  But I think that's a very important place to stop because
• 56:02
  I think if you look after your hijab, it's not just, it's not
• 56:05
  just a clothing, it's once you put on the hijab, would you even
• 56:08
  have the thoughts of dating and a Muslim do you understand?
• 56:13
  Because once once you have that barrier, it becomes social hijab
• 56:16
  as well. It can also become a digital
• 56:18
  sort of hijab. I don't know.
• 56:19
  It's a bit of a tricky 1 because she's got the right intention,
• 56:22
  because she has the intention she doesn't want to fall into
• 56:24
  Haram and she is a practicing Muslim and Hamdulillah and I'm
• 56:27
  sure. There's a lot of people who live
• 56:30
  like this where they don't have Muslims in their areas.
• 56:32
  Yeah, they live in predominantly white areas, so this is the
• 56:36
  closest that they can. You know, sometimes the solution
• 56:39
  as a Muslim is that this is your jihad and Neffs, that struggle
• 56:44
  is a reward for you. Yeah.
• 56:45
  But you can potentially marry that person if you can ensure
• 56:49
  you can make it halal, you can, but yes, it'll be a difficult.
• 56:53
  Part Listen, if you want to make habibi, if you want to make it
• 56:56
  halal, listen. Now we're going to enter a
• 56:57
  discussion of temporary marriage and we're going to.
• 56:59
  I don't want to enter that. I don't open a kind of once.
• 57:02
  Do you understand? So it's a bit of a tricky, I
• 57:04
  don't know, Ahmed. I'll let you share some thoughts
• 57:06
  and maybe I'll bounce back off you.
• 57:07
  No. No problem.
• 57:10
  So there's the what you can do, what you should do.
• 57:13
  You can't really say what you should do because, again, it's
• 57:15
  circumstantial in terms of what you can do.
• 57:17
  Of course you can. You can find a way to to marry
• 57:20
  the brother, to bring him towards the religion.
• 57:22
  Of course he has to become a Muslim to marry a female sister.
• 57:26
  That's just the filk behind it. So he has to marry.
• 57:29
  He has to convert to Islam, to book, to marry a Muslim girl.
• 57:32
  She said that he wasn't at the same union right?
• 57:34
  Or am I mistaken? Well, let's study together.
• 57:37
  And the same union close, close. Unis close, binary unis.
• 57:39
  But point being, is he if he wants to marry, yes, but humble.
• 57:42
  But look, my humble opinion is when you recognize what you have
• 57:49
  the gift of religion, you would never want to jeopardize that
• 57:54
  when you consider your future. So when you marry outside your
• 57:58
  religion or maybe someone who's not practicing the religion, you
• 58:04
  are jeopardizing generations of beliefs that have led you 1400
• 58:10
  years later to be a practicing Muslim.
• 58:12
  You don't want to discontinue that belief in the line to come.
• 58:16
  That's the way I see it. So choosing a spouse is very
• 58:19
  important in that decision making process and very
• 58:22
  important for your answer for your lineage.
• 58:25
  Your old lad was going to come and you don't want them to on
• 58:27
  the Yamukayama be like you were the point in our lineage where
• 58:32
  Islam stopped being practiced because you made a bad decision.
• 58:34
  I'm not saying that marrying someone who's not Muslim is a
• 58:37
  bad decision. I'm saying that when you marry
• 58:39
  someone who's joining the religion, inshallah, the brother
• 58:41
  joins if they get married or whatever, but that they are
• 58:44
  joining for the right purposes and he's aware of it and so on
• 58:48
  and so forth. And it doesn't jeopardize the
• 58:50
  faith because the faith could come, should come before the
• 58:52
  romance, Do you know what I mean?
• 58:53
  So that's my like primary opinion.
• 58:55
  My secondary opinion I agree with you said in terms of the
• 58:58
  hijab. And just on a side note, because
• 59:00
  we had loads of questions about hijab and sisters who are
• 59:03
  struggling with their hijab and people who are insulting them
• 59:06
  for wearing hijab and those who have taken off their hijab.
• 59:10
  The hijab itself is a symbol of strength.
• 59:15
  It's like the sisters carry way more than we do as men because
• 59:19
  they are visibly Muslim through that hijab.
• 59:22
  It could be any race in the world, but when you put on the
• 59:24
  hijab, people know you're Muslim, you are following, save
• 59:27
  it to the side. Alamin, you're following like
• 59:32
  you're following all of these divine, inspirational women who
• 59:37
  set the standard for perfection for for females and even for
• 59:42
  males, to be honest, to learn from.
• 59:43
  So that's it's pride. It's a token of pride.
• 59:45
  When you wear the hijab, I think the right you'll attract the
• 59:49
  right kind of guy as well. So maybe without the hijab, you
• 59:52
  might gain more attraction from those who are looking for girls
• 59:55
  who don't wear hijab. Do you see what I mean?
• 59:57
  So if you wear a hijab, maybe you want maybe a Christian or
• 1:00:01
  someone else. An atheist may not be like,
• 1:00:03
  yeah, I wouldn't marry a hijab, you know what I mean?
• 1:00:06
  So there's an automatic filtering process that comes
• 1:00:09
  with it. And we'll say that's like, you
• 1:00:10
  get me so. Yeah, it's very.
• 1:00:13
  I don't wanna comment too much on it, this is just my thoughts
• 1:00:15
  on it. But I would say, I mean, if
• 1:00:19
  you're saying I wanna hold off from marriage until I finish my
• 1:00:23
  PhD, that can be many, many years.
• 1:00:27
  What are you gonna do to your feelings, To your desires, your
• 1:00:31
  intentions, your interactions? There is so much.
• 1:00:34
  That can happen the. Fact, why would you put marriage
• 1:00:40
  as last resort? You know, Subhan, a lot, a lot
• 1:00:42
  of people say, you know, similar to those people who say, you
• 1:00:44
  know, I'm going to sin, sin, sin for the rest of my life when I'm
• 1:00:47
  50, when I'm 50 years old, I'm going to go to the cabinet, I'm
• 1:00:51
  going to go to the House of Allah.
• 1:00:52
  I'm going to perform hygiene. Allah is going to forgive me.
• 1:00:54
  Hang on, hang on, hang on, hang on, hang on.
• 1:00:56
  That mentality of I'm going to live forever and then repent to
• 1:01:00
  Allah, Subhana or Ta'ala. Who says you're going to live
• 1:01:02
  until you're 50? I agree with that, but.
• 1:01:04
  You may die after listening, because I may die on the way
• 1:01:07
  home. Doing your sin and then
• 1:01:08
  repenting is about removal of bad deeds.
• 1:01:11
  No, I'm saying having the intention of I get married.
• 1:01:13
  Later we even must have had by getting an education and then
• 1:01:16
  saying I want to commit to a marriage after you're not
• 1:01:19
  sinning with the thought of I'm going to Yolo.
• 1:01:22
  One life, bro. The more you delay, the more you
• 1:01:24
  delay marriage and make it as your last priority and it
• 1:01:27
  becomes your last. You're allowing the path of sin
• 1:01:30
  to open to you. That I agree with, but that's
• 1:01:32
  separate. But the point being is she's not
• 1:01:34
  saying. No, she's saying I want to get
• 1:01:36
  married, but I want to finish my PhD about.
• 1:01:39
  The hypothetical if she could sit in the.
• 1:01:41
  I'm just sticking to this scenario itself, yeah.
• 1:01:43
  And I'm trying trying to say and if you're thinking, you know,
• 1:01:46
  I'll get married after my PhD. What it's a risk to delay all
• 1:01:50
  that? When you're 35 years old, I
• 1:01:52
  don't know how old the sister is.
• 1:01:53
  Yeah, but let's be real. Man, yeah, you're right.
• 1:01:55
  Like there's risks that could open up.
• 1:01:57
  Yeah, I think it's different to like sitting and saying yeah,
• 1:02:00
  one day I'll pray, one day I'll fast, whatever because you're
• 1:02:03
  constantly doing something Haram basically, where whereas if
• 1:02:08
  you're pursuing education or whatever, there's no Haram with
• 1:02:11
  that, but there there's a risk that you could fall into Haram
• 1:02:14
  by delaying marriage for. Sure.
• 1:02:15
  You know, speaking about these delays and we were, we were
• 1:02:17
  speaking about hijab a bit early on with this dilemma.
• 1:02:20
  You know there are sisters out there who delay putting on the
• 1:02:23
  hijab and they say when I'm older I will put it on, the same
• 1:02:29
  thing applies. You don't know how long you're
• 1:02:31
  going to live. Yeah, honestly.
• 1:02:33
  You could apply this to everything.
• 1:02:34
  Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah.
• 1:02:35
  Salah, growing a beard, going, praying, whatever.
• 1:02:39
  Going for Hajj. It could be applied to so many
• 1:02:41
  things. You know, all the wajibats, you
• 1:02:44
  know what I mean? So stopping is.
• 1:02:47
  Etcetera to see. Stopping a sickness, Stopping.
• 1:02:49
  Listen to music, stopping. Looking at something you should
• 1:02:51
  be looking at. Like these are things that
• 1:02:53
  people would do. It'd be like, yeah, tomorrow.
• 1:02:56
  Or like just flawless conscious. What's the one I'm looking for?
• 1:03:01
  You're blissfully ignorant about it, like you're living in La La
• 1:03:04
  Land, like you said. Like you're you're in La La Land
• 1:03:07
  and you're sitting and you're like, yeah, yeah, I'm enjoying
• 1:03:09
  it. Let me enjoy it right now.
• 1:03:10
  At some point in my future, I'll stop.
• 1:03:12
  Well, I think of, you know, let me do it later.
• 1:03:14
  I'll delay, I'll procrastinate. I think about it, you know, blah
• 1:03:17
  blah, blah. It's not worth it.
• 1:03:19
  Wallah. It's not worth it.
• 1:03:20
  All right. You want to get married?
• 1:03:21
  You're practicing, bro. This is the son of Rasul Allah
• 1:03:24
  Muhammad Sallallahu Ali, Hawaii Wasalam.
• 1:03:26
  And he says if you want to follow my son bro, what path is
• 1:03:29
  the path of marriage? I'm going to, I'm going to do a
• 1:03:33
  just to wrap up here and do a little like a bit of a role play
• 1:03:36
  with you, OK. A lot of work.
• 1:03:37
  So there's been a lot of questions or dilemmas about
• 1:03:40
  flirtation. OK, I want you to respond.
• 1:03:46
  How you would respond, you'll say to Ali Rodowi, Wash Allah,
• 1:03:50
  you've just finished an event Milad de Mama Ali or something
• 1:03:54
  and you get you look amazing. You're in a three piece suit,
• 1:03:56
  you come off the stage and sister comes up to you, OK?
• 1:03:59
  What are you doing to me, Ahmed? Sam Ali kum Saeed.
• 1:04:05
  Alaikum Salam rahmatullah. Saeed, I really loved your
• 1:04:08
  station. You are amazing.
• 1:04:10
  Thank you so much. How long are you in town?
• 1:04:13
  Have you like, Have you come to this place before?
• 1:04:16
  How long am I in town? Allah?
• 1:04:18
  Like I'm running away from this event.
• 1:04:20
  What's going on now? Come on, bro.
• 1:04:21
  No, but. Realistically, should such a
• 1:04:23
  thing happen or just say alaikum Salaam, keep us in your dials.
• 1:04:26
  Thank you. Right, so you lock it off every
• 1:04:29
  course I want to finish. It you have to act like it's
• 1:04:32
  happening. How's it happening?
• 1:04:34
  I know I'm in town are. You coming back next week for
• 1:04:36
  the event? No, I'm.
• 1:04:38
  I'm actually going back home to be with my family.
• 1:04:42
  OK, so you're married Hamdullah. It's how's How's that?
• 1:04:45
  It's amazing. God's given me two children.
• 1:04:48
  Oh, OK. All right.
• 1:04:49
  Well, nice to meet you. Oh.
• 1:04:54
  You have to shut off. You smashed it.
• 1:04:56
  No, no. In Charlotte this never happens.
• 1:04:58
  This should such a thing happen. We've all been in similar
• 1:05:01
  scenarios, I think, yeah. Anyway, yeah, you have to, you
• 1:05:05
  minimize the point of contact. I I think we had the
• 1:05:08
  conversation back in season one, I think where we spoke about
• 1:05:14
  digital hijab people sliding into the ends.
• 1:05:17
  Bro, go to anyone who forget me, man.
• 1:05:22
  Go to anyone who like recites or gives lectures.
• 1:05:26
  They have to deal with scenarios like this 24/7.
• 1:05:28
  Yeah, but how they respond to them is the best thing.
• 1:05:32
  The best thing is you don't respond to them.
• 1:05:33
  But I would say if there's a Salaam alaikum, just reply to
• 1:05:36
  the alaikum Salaam. They said the best one I've.
• 1:05:40
  Heard is the recite finished reciting and I think it was
• 1:05:44
  during Ziyad or something. And then he's finished.
• 1:05:46
  He's come down and some uncle comes up to him.
• 1:05:50
  He's like Mullah sent to him that that was great Mullah.
• 1:05:53
  Are you single by the way? It's baffles like what's going
• 1:05:56
  on. He's like, here's my daughter.
• 1:05:58
  Would you be interested? What the hell putting?
• 1:06:01
  Your daughter on display like that.
• 1:06:03
  And until now, the the the guy was confused.
• 1:06:05
  He's like, I don't know how to respond in a situation like
• 1:06:07
  that. Saranda PTSD.
• 1:06:08
  How about you traumatized? I was straight up say if if I
• 1:06:13
  was even single. By the way, I think, I think the
• 1:06:16
  fact that conversation was about marriage should be legit.
• 1:06:22
  But yeah, I I think it can get difficult, you know, these
• 1:06:24
  interactions. You're right.
• 1:06:26
  Well, a lot of them. And I think they again dangerous
• 1:06:30
  by the day. 100%. Because there's.
• 1:06:32
  More and more avenues where people can flat now.
• 1:06:34
  I think our communities now, it's tough for a lot.
• 1:06:36
  I don't want to speak about our communities in a bad way, but I
• 1:06:38
  think sometimes our communities has allowed this to happen where
• 1:06:42
  sometimes we can help hold events.
• 1:06:45
  Yeah, that There's no like checks and balances when it
• 1:06:48
  comes to social hijab. I agree and look even in the
• 1:06:52
  events and look we don't want to cuss out anyone and put anyone
• 1:06:55
  down because there are events which do an incredible.
• 1:06:58
  And your bro, there's people taking selfies with the with the
• 1:07:01
  sisters. Yeah.
• 1:07:02
  So things like this, this is, this is a thing.
• 1:07:04
  Yeah. Events like that, like I said,
• 1:07:08
  we've, we've many of us have been to them.
• 1:07:10
  Many of us have been in those environments and many people are
• 1:07:14
  learning I think and those events which aren't doing that.
• 1:07:16
  So those which are are keeping a fantastic partition and
• 1:07:20
  segregation. Even in those events, there's
• 1:07:22
  still a risk. So you know, it can only be
• 1:07:24
  controlled to a degree. So the responsibility is always
• 1:07:28
  individual. Collective comes second.
• 1:07:30
  It comes second. You know, like you, you do your
• 1:07:34
  part, like we always say, do your duty to your best, leave to
• 1:07:36
  God the rest, right so you so you do your part.
• 1:07:40
  You keep your own distance. You keep your own hijab as a
• 1:07:43
  male or a female and you know you won't attract that
• 1:07:46
  attention. So it's and look, we'll be,
• 1:07:49
  we'll be real because you and I, Hamdullah, we are able to serve
• 1:07:52
  the community. We have a lot of people who
• 1:07:55
  watch the pod or who come up to us maybe in events and in public
• 1:07:59
  and at times I think when people are in positions where they're
• 1:08:02
  more visible. Yeah.
• 1:08:04
  You, you may have this issue more often than not where you're
• 1:08:07
  speaking or you're reciting or whatever it might be and people
• 1:08:10
  come and see you and they come and talk to you.
• 1:08:12
  So it's more important than those positions to be more self
• 1:08:16
  accountable basically. Yeah.
• 1:08:18
  How was that scene? I think it's good.
• 1:08:20
  And I and I and I and I I I actually enjoyed.
• 1:08:23
  You ask that dilemma to me or shall I say that role play that
• 1:08:25
  scenario? You like me as a girl, yeah.
• 1:08:29
  He doesn't know. What to say?
• 1:08:31
  I don't want to flirt. No, But it makes me think
• 1:08:35
  because. No, because it it puts me in my
• 1:08:37
  place. Like, yeah, yeah, yeah, I even
• 1:08:39
  if I'm not taking that approach, I should be taking that
• 1:08:41
  approach. Yeah, nothing.
• 1:08:44
  Sometimes we forget because sometimes it's like online.
• 1:08:46
  Now you're talking about in person, but it's online is even
• 1:08:48
  worse. Yeah, yeah.
• 1:08:50
  That's allahu Alam. Inshallah, we stay far away from
• 1:08:53
  such people. Behind the screen, you've got to
• 1:08:54
  be careful. God forbid, you know.
• 1:08:56
  What You're posted on the Sheer Celebrities tick tock.
• 1:09:00
  No comments. OK guys, I hope you enjoyed the
• 1:09:04
  episode as much as we did. Firstly or lastly, I just want
• 1:09:08
  to thank quiz 14. Unbelievable.
• 1:09:11
  Really fun. Exciting quiz which you can play
• 1:09:15
  during Ramadan, after Ramadan, after Maghreba home after you
• 1:09:20
  have dinner. With your.
• 1:09:22
  Friends, your family put that random one.
• 1:09:25
  A random one. So these are like.
• 1:09:27
  No. So these are these are not
• 1:09:29
  quizzes. This is the quiz and these are.
• 1:09:31
  Ramadan cards, by the way, this is very beautiful because, you
• 1:09:34
  know, I can show the audience. Does it show?
• 1:09:37
  No, no. close, not close. OK, so basically for the entire
• 1:09:41
  month of Ramadan, there is a card that you can take out.
• 1:09:48
  You basically place it here in the living room, in the bedroom,
• 1:09:53
  in the kitchen, other side of the door, where whatever's more
• 1:09:55
  suitable place for you in the house and it tells you Ramadan.
• 1:09:59
  Day one. There's one for every day of the
• 1:10:02
  of the month and it gives you a supplication, a prayer in
• 1:10:05
  English and in Arabic. But the nice beautiful thing I
• 1:10:08
  love about this, it tells you what to do.
• 1:10:10
  It motivates you to do something to take it closer to a loss upon
• 1:10:15
  Matala. Like for this one.
• 1:10:17
  I'm not sure if I'm allowed to share share it by Will.
• 1:10:20
  So the challenge or the motivation for Ramadan day one
• 1:10:23
  is begin with a sincere intention for spiritual growth
• 1:10:27
  during Ramadan. That's really nice.
• 1:10:30
  Yeah. And if I didn't have this, would
• 1:10:31
  I even have that intention? Yeah, I'm being real.
• 1:10:35
  I'm. Going to read a couple gone.
• 1:10:36
  This one says wake up for Fajo today and reflect on the
• 1:10:39
  blessings of a new day. This one says take a few minutes
• 1:10:42
  today after each prayer for personal reflection and
• 1:10:45
  self-awareness. This one says start a charity
• 1:10:47
  jar contributing a small amount every day but these are nice
• 1:10:51
  small achievable daily things and obviously like you said the
• 1:10:54
  dot R here both in English and in Arabic is really cool.
• 1:10:56
  Get this guys, you can get it on quiz 14 on Instagram.
• 1:11:00
  Make sure you check them out, they're running a shutter bond
• 1:11:02
  offer where you can get both items for £20 only which I think
• 1:11:06
  is very very reasonable 20 lbs. You can give this to friends,
• 1:11:10
  family, the best way to start the holy month and like we said
• 1:11:13
  this quiz 50 cards, trivia, Islamic cards, games you can
• 1:11:17
  play on your own as a couple or even in teams.
• 1:11:22
  Really, really cool games on the Quran or the ages 9 upwards.
• 1:11:26
  So you can even play it with your younger siblings, your
• 1:11:28
  kids, your cousins, whatever it might be.
• 1:11:30
  Make sure you check them out guys, quiz 14.
• 1:11:32
  They are fantastic young couple from our community who are doing
• 1:11:35
  incredible service and who have got, you know, martial law very
• 1:11:39
  far in their their desire to serve the community and serve
• 1:11:42
  our last month Allah through something which is engaging,
• 1:11:45
  relatable, modern and aesthetically gorgeous as well.
• 1:11:49
  It's really good looking. So yeah, make sure you get it.
• 1:11:51
  I love the idea. I love the concept.
• 1:11:53
  I love the intention behind it as well as people behind this.
• 1:11:57
  Yeah, 100%. May Allah bless them and
• 1:11:59
  inshallah allow them to grow and inspire generations to come for
• 1:12:04
  something this small becomes something so big.
• 1:12:06
  Inshallah and Ahmed, we are Shia Muslim podcast.
• 1:12:09
  There's one dilemma we have to do and then we can end it, OK
• 1:12:13
  And I think this is a dilemma that deserves a minute or two.
• 1:12:19
  Who? Do I subscribe to on YouTube?
• 1:12:22
  No, no no. It's got nothing to do with
• 1:12:23
  after. Mahrim, not a long one.
• 1:12:24
  It's got nothing to do with after Mahrim.
• 1:12:26
  No, it's actually one of them that came in.
• 1:12:28
  I I like. I generally want to ask this and
• 1:12:30
  I was hoping you do pick it up. It's where's it going now?
• 1:12:33
  OK. My potential wife.
• 1:12:37
  So everything goes back to marriage.
• 1:12:39
  My potential wife follows a different merger.
• 1:12:42
  Say we did this. No, we didn't.
• 1:12:44
  OK, OK. My potential wife follows a
• 1:12:47
  different merger. How can we go about living our
• 1:12:50
  future lives? I think you're the best one to
• 1:12:52
  answer this. Why?
• 1:12:54
  Because you're sick at this stuff.
• 1:12:55
  Well, my wife follows the same words as me.
• 1:12:57
  But look, I don't think, I don't think.
• 1:12:59
  Like I said earlier, I don't think it should be a problem at
• 1:13:01
  all. It should not be a problem at
• 1:13:03
  all. You mentioned in the beginning
• 1:13:05
  how we follow. We have so much in common with.
• 1:13:11
  You're talking about someone who follows to show you, like
• 1:13:15
  follows it A-Z the way you do. The interpretation of the
• 1:13:19
  scholars may be different, and even then the majority, 95% of
• 1:13:22
  it is the same. There shouldn't be a problem.
• 1:13:25
  And if that is a sticking point for you, then you need to.
• 1:13:28
  You need to distance yourself from a world where that is
• 1:13:31
  causing division because you will just subdivide yourself
• 1:13:34
  even further than. I don't think it should be even
• 1:13:37
  a talking point. I really really don't.
• 1:13:39
  I don't think you should even think about The Mirage.
• 1:13:43
  I think I know with the community it's different.
• 1:13:45
  So community A family marries community B family and then that
• 1:13:49
  might but look you want to break those barriers.
• 1:13:51
  You want to you want to grow and mingle the community to be
• 1:13:55
  followers of the Holy Imam. The only way we can build a
• 1:13:57
  nation of of unsolved of the Imam is to be united.
• 1:14:01
  Basically the way we raise our families, the way we see a lost
• 1:14:04
  Poddala is island bait Quran like this.
• 1:14:07
  Yeah, I just, I don't think we should even consider that.
• 1:14:10
  Because when I say you're amazing, you're the one to
• 1:14:12
  answer this. Nah, bro.
• 1:14:13
  What? Lala?
• 1:14:14
  You believe the exact same thing.
• 1:14:16
  I believe the exact opposite. I'm joking, that's what.
• 1:14:19
  I'm saying yeah, You and B, for example, we believe in two
• 1:14:21
  different we have, we follow two different Balaja, yes.
• 1:14:24
  It's never been a issue for US. Ever, ever.
• 1:14:27
  Like, it's never even been a like.
• 1:14:30
  I don't even think we've disagreed on anything
• 1:14:32
  fundamental. You know, by the way, only when
• 1:14:34
  I started working at Helibe TV. Let me just say this, and we'll
• 1:14:38
  wrap up here only when I started working at Helibe TV that I
• 1:14:41
  realize where there's more to life than which merger you
• 1:14:44
  follow. Really.
• 1:14:45
  Yeah. There you go, bro.
• 1:14:46
  This is for you. I've never thought about this.
• 1:14:48
  This is literally like because before I joined Helibe TV, I
• 1:14:53
  wasn't surrounding myself with people outside my own community,
• 1:14:58
  for example, or with people who differ in terms of which merger
• 1:15:02
  we follow. And so, I mean it was an eye
• 1:15:04
  opener and I'll, I'll be comfortable to share and say
• 1:15:07
  I'll I was like what they believe in the same thing I do,
• 1:15:11
  like we were like programmed in such a way.
• 1:15:14
  And I think This is why it affects us sometimes in the
• 1:15:16
  future when it comes to marriage that we have such thoughts.
• 1:15:18
  She follows us from merger. Is it gonna affect our lives
• 1:15:21
  bro? Allah, it's not even not even
• 1:15:22
  it's not. Even.
• 1:15:24
  I won't say it affects your lives, but I say it can be
• 1:15:26
  challenging and it can be tricky sometimes.
• 1:15:29
  You may have seafood, seafood issues.
• 1:15:32
  You may have musical instrument issues.
• 1:15:35
  You may have failure at different times.
• 1:15:37
  Believe it, 20 minute gap. The husband doesn't suck. 10
• 1:15:41
  minutes later, the wife is still eating.
• 1:15:42
  Like what on earth is going on? It's you can work.
• 1:15:45
  It's not the end of the. World big deals like.
• 1:15:47
  Not the end of the world. Like culturally you have other
• 1:15:49
  issues. Yeah, yeah, you speak.
• 1:15:50
  Different languages. You have one's A1's a vegan and
• 1:15:53
  one's a carnivore. Like, do you know what I mean?
• 1:15:55
  Like when it comes to other things.
• 1:15:57
  One's a carnival. Sorry, did you say Carnival?
• 1:15:59
  Carnivore. Carnivore.
• 1:16:01
  Sorry. Yeah, yeah.
• 1:16:01
  No. Like, as in when it comes to
• 1:16:03
  other things, people don't. They make it work, right.
• 1:16:06
  You know the answers we made you tribes to get to know each
• 1:16:08
  other. Like the point being is if you
• 1:16:10
  were homogeneous then it's boring.
• 1:16:12
  It's fun being different. I love it.
• 1:16:14
  I love it. It's fun.
• 1:16:16
  I love it. You love it.
• 1:16:17
  So it is what it is. You should become the marriage
• 1:16:19
  expert. No, bro, I'm definitely.
• 1:16:22
  I think you are the solution. You are the solution to every
• 1:16:25
  problem. No, bro, don't say that.
• 1:16:26
  I love it. You are.
• 1:16:28
  I really, really hope at one point I can say I've done all
• 1:16:32
  right. You are the air to the winds and
• 1:16:35
  the nor the sun Wow accent. All right, guys, I think it's
• 1:16:41
  too late. Let's.
• 1:16:41
  Say you said you want to. It's past midnight.
• 1:16:43
  So I said I need some sleep and so do I.
• 1:16:46
  Take care. We will see you next week.
• 1:16:47
  We're getting close to the whole month, so make sure we hit that
• 1:16:50
  subscribe button and don't miss out any conversation in the next
• 1:16:53
  few weeks. We will see you next week.
• 1:16:55
  Thank. You Salaam alaikum allahi or
• 1:16:59
  barakatu much of A don't cut the recording.