Latest / Barely Legal HR / How to Get the Job (Part 1): Your Resume Sucks, LinkedIn Is Cancer & The Job Market Is a Fucking Joke

Transcript

How to Get the Job (Part 1): Your Resume Sucks, LinkedIn Is Cancer & The Job Market Is a Fucking Joke · Barely Legal HR

• 0:00
  unknown: Okay.
• 0:01
  SPEAKER_00: Tonight from the most unemployable girl in the world, how to get the job.
• 0:08
  SPEAKER_00: That's what we're talking about today.
• 0:10
  SPEAKER_00: I'm Sarah Savage.
• 0:12
  SPEAKER_00: No, we're gonna cut that.
• 0:14
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I'm Susha and how to get the job.
• 0:17
  SPEAKER_00: That's what we're talking about today.
• 0:18
  SPEAKER_00: So have you found that um your resume sucks?
• 0:22
  SPEAKER_00: By the way, it does suck.
• 0:23
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm gonna tell you why.
• 0:25
  SPEAKER_00: And we're gonna talk about um how are you applying for the job?
• 0:30
  SPEAKER_00: What are you saying on the application?
• 0:31
  SPEAKER_00: By the way, why?
• 0:34
  SPEAKER_00: And uh why does it seem like I don't get anywhere?
• 0:38
  SPEAKER_00: Why does it seem like I just can't get in front of somebody?
• 0:41
  SPEAKER_00: I never even get an interview request.
• 0:43
  SPEAKER_00: It's not just me, it's all of us.
• 0:46
  SPEAKER_00: Let's talk about this.
• 0:48
  SPEAKER_00: Is our series, this is our first series.
• 0:51
  SPEAKER_00: You're welcome, America.
• 0:53
  SPEAKER_00: We're gonna talk about how to get the job.
• 0:55
  SPEAKER_00: So, um, to my good friend Alan, how would you say you would describe the um the job uh process today, the job hunting process?
• 1:07
  SPEAKER_01: A joke?
• 1:08
  SPEAKER_00: A joke, bullshit, you know that's my favorite word, America.
• 1:14
  SPEAKER_00: So when you're looking for a job, where do you look for it?
• 1:18
  SPEAKER_00: We have been talking about this, so it used to be, guys.
• 1:22
  SPEAKER_00: Remember when Craigslist?
• 1:25
  SPEAKER_00: Craigslist, remember when that was a reputable place to go look for a job?
• 1:30
  SPEAKER_00: Right?
• 1:31
  SPEAKER_00: Back pages.
• 1:33
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, do you remember?
• 1:35
  SPEAKER_00: Do you remember when it used to be monster.com blast from the past?
• 1:39
  SPEAKER_00: Do you know that shit is still up?
• 1:42
  SPEAKER_00: Uh uh career builder, okay.
• 1:45
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, where else?
• 1:46
  SPEAKER_00: Some other fucking stupid ass places.
• 1:49
  SPEAKER_00: So indeed, it used to be that this was the place to go get a job, right?
• 1:57
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, and it was because you had to pay what 25 bucks, probably a hundred bucks now, to post a job.
• 2:03
  SPEAKER_00: So it used to be that if I'm paying to post this job, that it had to be reputable, right?
• 2:09
  SPEAKER_00: It couldn't be a scam.
• 2:11
  SPEAKER_00: It's a fucking scam.
• 2:13
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, LinkedIn, which is it's cancer.
• 2:16
  SPEAKER_00: It's cancer.
• 2:17
  SPEAKER_00: So it is Facebook for people on business.
• 2:22
  SPEAKER_00: I I I get I see people's wedding photos, okay?
• 2:25
  SPEAKER_00: I see people's uh like their the pictures of the kids and shit like that.
• 2:29
  SPEAKER_00: I don't have LinkedIn.
• 2:30
  SPEAKER_00: I I think it's bullshit.
• 2:31
  SPEAKER_00: I think it's bullshit.
• 2:33
  SPEAKER_00: Um, what else?
• 2:35
  SPEAKER_00: So Glassdoor used to be a place that you would look for jobs and you would um you I'm sorry, Glassdoor used to be a place that you would look at different companies and people would rate it, right?
• 2:48
  SPEAKER_00: Now it's become a decently reputable place to go and look for jobs because they post the jobs, they post their salaries, quote unquote, of places, and they um it's a reputable-ish place to go.
• 3:01
  SPEAKER_00: Zip Recruiter, which originally it was kind of like the kind of like the geo cities of fucking uh you know job hunting.
• 3:10
  SPEAKER_00: Now it's kind of decent, right?
• 3:11
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, and um what else?
• 3:15
  SPEAKER_00: Here's one of my secret weapons.
• 3:16
  SPEAKER_00: Remote rocket ship.
• 3:18
  SPEAKER_00: Have you heard of that one?
• 3:19
  SPEAKER_00: Remote rocket ship is actually really fantastic.
• 3:22
  SPEAKER_00: They pride themselves on being the place that it doesn't have jobs that are posted on LinkedIn.
• 3:30
  SPEAKER_00: So, what they do is they are scraping the internet with AI.
• 3:35
  SPEAKER_00: We're gonna get there, don't worry.
• 3:37
  SPEAKER_00: They scrape the internet and they're looking for jobs that are posted that are not on some of those bigger name platforms.
• 3:46
  SPEAKER_00: So there's so many ways that I can tell you I think it's beneficial to be looking for a job, but let me tell you, you know, the ins and outs on both sides.
• 3:56
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, so there's ATS, I'm gonna refer to that a lot.
• 4:00
  SPEAKER_00: Applicant tracking system, okay.
• 4:03
  SPEAKER_00: Software that is utilized to take all of your information, to take a oh yeah, and it is take all of your information, and you're applying for these jobs, and they're supposed to determine whether or not, or maybe it takes you all the way through the application process into their portal, into you get hired, you're in their HRIS or PEO, Professional Employment Organization, or HRIS, which would be Human Resource Information System.
• 4:34
  SPEAKER_00: Now, not all of them are linked.
• 4:36
  SPEAKER_00: Point being, you go through the application process and it has filters, right?
• 4:42
  SPEAKER_00: That maybe they are, honey.
• 4:45
  SPEAKER_00: They're utilizing AI to go through and filter through your shit and determine if they want to even hire you or not.
• 4:51
  SPEAKER_00: That is some bullshit.
• 4:53
  SPEAKER_00: When you you probably notice when you go through uh the job search process and you're looking for jobs, they are taking your information, right?
• 5:03
  SPEAKER_00: And uh it'll it may even say, Do you want me to auto-apply for you?
• 5:08
  SPEAKER_00: Do you want me to tailor your resume and apply for these jobs, right?
• 5:15
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, I'll apply for these jobs for you.
• 5:17
  SPEAKER_00: AI will thank you so much.
• 5:19
  SPEAKER_00: Apply for these jobs for you.
• 5:22
  SPEAKER_00: And um, I'm I'm gonna make it, I'm gonna tweak it so that the applicant ATS applicant tracking system will like you more.
• 5:30
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, essentially.
• 5:32
  SPEAKER_00: The problem with that is I don't know if some of you have tried this or not.
• 5:35
  SPEAKER_00: I've noticed I've gotten on the next day, and it's applying for all kinds of shit that I am not like physical therapist, fucking counselor.
• 5:43
  SPEAKER_00: God, I need the counselor, okay?
• 5:45
  SPEAKER_00: They're applying for fucking, you know, house cleaner and shit.
• 5:48
  SPEAKER_00: I can't even keep my own house clean, okay?
• 5:50
  SPEAKER_00: And it's it's going through all this shit, and I didn't apply for that.
• 5:54
  SPEAKER_00: I didn't want to apply for those things, but it's applying for all that shit.
• 5:57
  SPEAKER_00: You know what that means?
• 5:58
  SPEAKER_00: You know what that means?
• 5:59
  SPEAKER_00: It means they're taking your shit, everybody else's shit, okay, and it's applying for jobs that you are not qualified for, you didn't want, and it is overloading the servers on those ATSs.
• 6:13
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 6:14
  SPEAKER_00: So what that means is it's clogging up those servers, they are closing those jobs, okay, and so you only have so many jobs that maybe you even get looked at because you have uh it oversaturates the applicant pool.
• 6:33
  SPEAKER_00: And as a result, people looking at your people looking at everybody's shit and they're like, what the fuck is this?
• 6:38
  SPEAKER_00: And they're closing out this, you know, job posting.
• 6:42
  SPEAKER_00: And so that is why it is so difficult to be seen in front of a recruiter.
• 6:47
  SPEAKER_00: Now, some people say, I'm gonna get on LinkedIn and I'm going to uh personally reach out to that recruiter.
• 6:54
  SPEAKER_00: That is kind of a nice deal, right?
• 6:56
  SPEAKER_00: Like on LinkedIn, you're reaching out personally to that recruiter.
• 6:59
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, I just applied to xylophone.
• 7:01
  SPEAKER_00: I'm just making shit up here.
• 7:03
  SPEAKER_00: I just pledge to xylophone and I found the recruiter for xylophone, right?
• 7:06
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm gonna I'm gonna message them.
• 7:08
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 7:09
  SPEAKER_00: Let me tell you by the way, fucking hate that shit.
• 7:12
  SPEAKER_00: If I if I to MHR or whatever, and I'm for this company or whatever, do not message me.
• 7:19
  SPEAKER_00: I've got enough of that shit going on.
• 7:21
  SPEAKER_00: However, I have I've probably had one person through that, but I hate that shit.
• 7:26
  SPEAKER_00: We're oversaturated.
• 7:27
  SPEAKER_00: Second, everybody lies on their fucking LinkedIn, everybody lies on their fucking resume.
• 7:31
  SPEAKER_00: Let me tell you something else.
• 7:34
  SPEAKER_00: Why?
• 7:35
  SPEAKER_00: Do you hear me, America?
• 7:36
  SPEAKER_00: Lie.
• 7:37
  SPEAKER_00: Lie.
• 7:40
  SPEAKER_00: So they ask you if you have a bachelor's degree.
• 7:43
  SPEAKER_00: A lot of us don't have bachelor's degrees.
• 7:44
  SPEAKER_00: I I do.
• 7:45
  SPEAKER_00: I'm, you know, whatever.
• 7:47
  SPEAKER_00: Somebody gave me a degree, right?
• 7:49
  SPEAKER_00: If I can do it, you can't.
• 7:51
  SPEAKER_00: But that being said, lie.
• 7:55
  SPEAKER_00: Unless it's an educational institution, they're not paying that extra amount.
• 8:00
  SPEAKER_00: And yes, honey, it is extra to look for the education, okay, um, and and uh validate that.
• 8:09
  SPEAKER_00: So if you don't have it, it's okay.
• 8:11
  SPEAKER_00: Lie.
• 8:12
  SPEAKER_00: It's okay, it's okay, honey.
• 8:14
  SPEAKER_00: Another thing, if you have uh references, okay.
• 8:20
  SPEAKER_00: All my best friends, my fucking references, they all worked with me.
• 8:23
  SPEAKER_00: You know what I'm saying?
• 8:24
  SPEAKER_00: They all are and they know I'm not lying about my skills, okay?
• 8:29
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not lying about my job description, I'm not lying about any of that shit, and saying, Oh, I can I'm a I'm a fucking carpenter or some shit.
• 8:36
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not I'm a welder.
• 8:38
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not saying that shit.
• 8:40
  SPEAKER_00: But what I might lie about is maybe how long I was at that place, maybe how long I was at this place and that place.
• 8:46
  SPEAKER_00: Because there are places that maybe, and we've talked about this before, America.
• 8:52
  SPEAKER_00: Um, maybe I was let go for some bullshit reason.
• 8:55
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe, you know, shit happens.
• 8:58
  SPEAKER_00: I have a gap on my resume.
• 8:59
  SPEAKER_00: So the fuck what?
• 9:00
  SPEAKER_00: Say that you're still employed, say that you don't want them to contact your current employer.
• 9:05
  SPEAKER_00: I don't want them to know I'm leaving.
• 9:07
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm sorry, but lie.
• 9:10
  SPEAKER_00: And and have the people that are your reference checks, they can speak to your character, they can speak to the job duties that you do.
• 9:20
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 9:21
  SPEAKER_00: Don't ever lie about what you can or cannot do.
• 9:24
  SPEAKER_00: But if you need to lie about how long you've been there, if you need to lie about if I have a bachelor's degree or not, I don't give a fuck.
• 9:32
  SPEAKER_00: You know, like 99% of people that have a degree, it's like in English or history or some shit, and they're working in biosciences.
• 9:42
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm not joking, I'm not, I'm not making this shit up.
• 9:45
  SPEAKER_00: People will get jobs in um, you know, uh in fields that they don't have a degree in.
• 9:52
  SPEAKER_00: What do I care about?
• 9:53
  SPEAKER_00: I care about your experience.
• 9:55
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, what did I say?
• 9:56
  SPEAKER_00: Judge people on your performance.
• 9:58
  SPEAKER_00: What did I say, America?
• 10:00
  SPEAKER_00: I don't care if you smoke a crack pipe at the end of this day.
• 10:03
  SPEAKER_00: Come to work on time, do your fucking job.
• 10:05
  SPEAKER_00: You do your fucking job well.
• 10:07
  SPEAKER_00: I don't give a fuck.
• 10:08
  SPEAKER_00: So people don't typically work in the degree that they have.
• 10:14
  SPEAKER_00: When I see somebody bachelor's, master's degree, by the way, somebody has a master's degree, okay?
• 10:19
  SPEAKER_00: Or a bachelor's, doesn't matter.
• 10:20
  SPEAKER_00: You have a bachelor's degree from 12, 18, 25 years ago in computer sciences.
• 10:30
  SPEAKER_00: Does that does that matter now?
• 10:31
  SPEAKER_00: It doesn't.
• 10:33
  SPEAKER_00: It doesn't.
• 10:34
  SPEAKER_00: I care about your experience.
• 10:36
  SPEAKER_00: I care about your performance.
• 10:37
  SPEAKER_00: I care about can you do this fucking job?
• 10:41
  SPEAKER_00: And you did it prior?
• 10:42
  SPEAKER_00: You're good at it, right?
• 10:44
  SPEAKER_00: Which makes me to another thing.
• 10:46
  SPEAKER_00: Fucking assessments.
• 10:48
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, they putting you through assessments and shit like that.
• 10:51
  SPEAKER_00: I fucking hate that shit.
• 10:52
  SPEAKER_00: You know why?
• 10:53
  SPEAKER_00: Because it's all like, uh, here's a rhombus and here's a hexagon and here's an octagon.
• 10:58
  SPEAKER_00: Which comes next?
• 10:59
  SPEAKER_00: The fuck is that horseshit?
• 11:01
  SPEAKER_00: I don't want to see that.
• 11:03
  SPEAKER_00: That is okay.
• 11:05
  SPEAKER_00: You could easily argue, and a lot of people have.
• 11:08
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know why companies still employ this practice.
• 11:11
  SPEAKER_00: Is, you know, oh, uh, here's this logical, you know, if you know, green plus y equals yellow, then what is the then no, no, no, no, this horse shit.
• 11:21
  SPEAKER_00: Because does this have anything to do with the job I'm gonna be doing?
• 11:25
  SPEAKER_00: So there's a lot of people that have sued the company that they take these assessments on and they win.
• 11:32
  SPEAKER_00: You know why?
• 11:33
  SPEAKER_00: Because it's not about the job I'm gonna be doing, it's not about the job description, okay?
• 11:38
  SPEAKER_00: This is some logic, some bullshit, reasoning, whatever the fuck.
• 11:41
  SPEAKER_00: What if I'm neurodivergent?
• 11:42
  SPEAKER_00: Guys, you know I'm neurodivergent as fuck, okay?
• 11:46
  SPEAKER_00: So what if I can't fucking do this shit?
• 11:51
  SPEAKER_00: Because I'm neurodivergent as fuck.
• 11:55
  SPEAKER_00: I'm waiting for the dogs to get done.
• 11:58
  SPEAKER_00: We could even leave that in.
• 11:59
  SPEAKER_00: Like dogs, take two, take three.
• 12:04
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I I fucking hate seeing that.
• 12:06
  SPEAKER_00: And then so there are a lot of um, there's a lot of litigation that actually has come from that because people are neurodivergent because I'm not a good test taker, or whatever the fuck, but I might be really good at this fucking job.
• 12:19
  SPEAKER_00: Employers, do not pass somebody up because they didn't take the rhombus test or whatever the fuck.
• 12:26
  SPEAKER_00: So dumb.
• 12:27
  SPEAKER_00: So dumb.
• 12:29
  SPEAKER_00: So you're you're you're doing this job.
• 12:32
  SPEAKER_00: Actually, I would love to uh go through an application and actually go line by line and oh, you want this?
• 12:40
  SPEAKER_00: Do you want this answer?
• 12:41
  SPEAKER_00: Here's what I would say.
• 12:42
  SPEAKER_00: Here's what I would say.
• 12:44
  SPEAKER_00: Do you currently work there?
• 12:46
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, sure.
• 12:46
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 12:47
  SPEAKER_00: Do you want us to contact this uh company for a reference?
• 12:50
  unknown: No.
• 12:50
  SPEAKER_00: Uh or you can say yes, and they probably won't.
• 12:54
  SPEAKER_00: Let me tell you, those reference checks, they're gonna call who you put down.
• 12:57
  SPEAKER_00: They're not gonna call the company.
• 12:59
  SPEAKER_00: And if they do, by the way, okay, I've been there, I've been HR.
• 13:03
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, somebody calls me and they leave me a message.
• 13:06
  SPEAKER_00: I'm busy as fuck, by the way.
• 13:08
  SPEAKER_00: And somebody wants to call me and they're like, hey, um, can you tell me about John Smith and he worked there six years ago for two months?
• 13:17
  SPEAKER_00: Can you tell me about like was he really good at his giant?
• 13:20
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not calling you back.
• 13:23
  SPEAKER_00: I have way too much fucking fish to fry.
• 13:25
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I don't give a fuck.
• 13:26
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not calling you back.
• 13:28
  SPEAKER_00: So even if they say they pay a service to go check those references and call those prior companies.
• 13:35
  SPEAKER_00: I as the employer, I don't have time.
• 13:37
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not calling you.
• 13:38
  SPEAKER_00: I don't care.
• 13:39
  SPEAKER_00: I don't care about you, John Smith.
• 13:40
  SPEAKER_00: I'm sorry.
• 13:41
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I wish you well.
• 13:43
  SPEAKER_00: We should also play that.
• 13:44
  SPEAKER_00: I wish you well, like right here.
• 13:47
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I wish you well.
• 13:50
  SPEAKER_00: We'll put in we'll put in some like tunes also.
• 13:55
  SPEAKER_00: But the reason is like I don't have time, right?
• 13:58
  SPEAKER_00: Um, also, HR, if you're worth your salt, and most of you are not, let me just say, if somebody calls you and says, Um, are they eligible for rehire?
• 14:10
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, they usually ask a few questions.
• 14:13
  SPEAKER_00: When did they work there?
• 14:14
  SPEAKER_00: What the dates, what the title, maybe how much they made.
• 14:17
  SPEAKER_00: They don't ask that so much anymore because of those other um states that are that talk about transparency and wages, or you cannot ask those things until well, you can't ask those things ever, like how much did you make prior, especially California, right?
• 14:33
  SPEAKER_00: Leading the way.
• 14:35
  SPEAKER_00: That being said, most places, especially those that are hiring remote or you know, multi-state, which is a lot of them, they're only asking a few questions.
• 14:45
  SPEAKER_00: So dates of employment, maybe title, maybe, and if they're fucking stupid, are you eligible for rehire?
• 14:56
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 14:56
  SPEAKER_00: So if they're asking, are you eligible for rehire?
• 15:00
  SPEAKER_00: If you're fucking stupid, if you're not worth your salt, you hear me?
• 15:04
  SPEAKER_00: You don't fucking say yes or no.
• 15:06
  SPEAKER_00: You say we don't give out that information.
• 15:08
  SPEAKER_00: You know why?
• 15:09
  SPEAKER_00: Hey, America, let me tell you something.
• 15:12
  SPEAKER_00: If you're worried about getting a not good reference check from somebody, call that company.
• 15:18
  SPEAKER_00: Call that same fucking company that let you go or you're not really sure, and record it.
• 15:25
  SPEAKER_00: Say, hey, I'm doing a reference check on John Smith.
• 15:30
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, when did they work there?
• 15:31
  SPEAKER_00: What was their wage?
• 15:33
  SPEAKER_00: And uh, are they eligible for rehire?
• 15:34
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, why is that?
• 15:36
  SPEAKER_00: Even if they say eligible for rehire, yes or no, that already slander and defamation.
• 15:41
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, first off.
• 15:42
  SPEAKER_00: Second, if they're even stupider, and I have had it, I've heard it, okay?
• 15:47
  SPEAKER_00: And that HR person will go, oh, let me tell you, they blah blah blah blah blah blah blah.
• 15:53
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, fucking stupid.
• 15:56
  SPEAKER_00: You get that shit recorded, you take that.
• 15:59
  SPEAKER_00: You take that, take that for wrongful termination suits.
• 16:02
  SPEAKER_00: Boom.
• 16:03
  SPEAKER_00: Because these companies that want to keep you down, no, fuck that shit.
• 16:08
  SPEAKER_00: Use that shit against them.
• 16:09
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm telling you, I've worked for billion-dollar companies that want to keep you down, or they just have fucking stupid people in place, which is I mean, all the way to the top, all the way to the upper echelons, even me, right?
• 16:22
  SPEAKER_00: And they will say shit like that just because they want to be shitty, whatever the fuck, and they'll say shit like that that will get them in trouble, and it happens every fucking day.
• 16:33
  SPEAKER_00: And I have had to help protect companies from doing those things because some fucking asshole, some manager, mid-level manager, HR, who knows, legal counsel even makes those mistakes.
• 16:46
  SPEAKER_00: So then you have them on um on audio and they're defaming you.
• 16:51
  SPEAKER_00: They have to prove that shit in court.
• 16:53
  SPEAKER_00: Why am I not eligible for rehire?
• 16:56
  SPEAKER_00: Why are you saying I'm not a good worker?
• 16:58
  SPEAKER_00: Let's define that.
• 16:59
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, they're in so much trouble if they do that shit.
• 17:02
  SPEAKER_00: Now, if they're worth their salt, they'll go, I can't give out that information.
• 17:07
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, they worked here.
• 17:08
  SPEAKER_00: Goodbye.
• 17:09
  SPEAKER_00: Or if they're like me, I don't fucking have time for this, I'm not calling you back.
• 17:14
  SPEAKER_00: So, that being said, filling up the application, getting the job.
• 17:21
  SPEAKER_00: Interview questions.
• 17:22
  SPEAKER_00: If you love those interview questions.
• 17:24
  SPEAKER_00: So, interview questions are always like, Why do you want to work here?
• 17:30
  SPEAKER_00: You think I want to write some fucking fanfic about like, oh, I've always wanted to work for xylophone or whatever the fuck, right?
• 17:35
  SPEAKER_00: No, I want a fucking roof over my head.
• 17:38
  SPEAKER_00: I don't want to be out there selling handjobs for crack.
• 17:40
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, I want a fucking job.
• 17:43
  SPEAKER_00: I will eat grass before my dogs do.
• 17:45
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, they eat better than me.
• 17:47
  SPEAKER_00: But that being said, and my cats, I have four cats.
• 17:50
  SPEAKER_00: Do you guys know that?
• 17:51
  SPEAKER_00: Doesn't matter.
• 17:52
  SPEAKER_00: So is that why I'm single?
• 17:56
  SPEAKER_00: So you want to make sure.
• 18:01
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, where was I?
• 18:02
  SPEAKER_00: I lost my train of thought.
• 18:03
  SPEAKER_00: We're gonna delete this.
• 18:04
  SPEAKER_00: So you want to make sure when you're applying for jobs, oh yes, and you're um, and and they're asking, why do you want to work for blah blah blah?
• 18:11
  SPEAKER_00: Well, I just really think this is an innovative, incredible company that is growing.
• 18:16
  SPEAKER_00: I'm looking for stability when I look for a company, and honestly, the last company I'm coming from, there's been a lot of layoffs, and I really want to make sure this is a company I can grow with and stay with.
• 18:30
  SPEAKER_00: I don't want to stay with you either.
• 18:32
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but that being said, why are you leaving your past company?
• 18:37
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, I just I really want to grow.
• 18:39
  SPEAKER_00: I really want to progress.
• 18:41
  SPEAKER_00: I really want to move forward in my career.
• 18:45
  SPEAKER_00: That's what I'm doing.
• 18:46
  SPEAKER_00: I'm moving forward in my career with all of these.
• 18:48
  SPEAKER_00: You're not gonna tell them that like I'm suing my last place for discrimination because they're cocksuckers, right?
• 18:53
  SPEAKER_00: You're not gonna talk about like my my boss fucking sucks.
• 18:56
  SPEAKER_00: I fucking hate this place, I hate, I hate my blah blah blah.
• 18:59
  SPEAKER_00: Uh they don't even give us coffee and tea in the break room or whatever the fuck.
• 19:03
  SPEAKER_00: They're stingy as fuck.
• 19:04
  SPEAKER_00: Pizza parties, you know I hate that shit.
• 19:08
  SPEAKER_00: You don't want to talk about that shit, right?
• 19:11
  SPEAKER_00: So lie.
• 19:12
  SPEAKER_00: What did I say, guys?
• 19:14
  SPEAKER_00: Lie.
• 19:15
  SPEAKER_00: Lie.
• 19:17
  SPEAKER_00: So what else?
• 19:19
  SPEAKER_00: And they ask you things like, tell me about a time, guys.
• 19:22
  SPEAKER_00: These are manufactured.
• 19:24
  SPEAKER_00: You know I fucking hate recruiting, you know I fucking hate interviewing.
• 19:27
  SPEAKER_00: Because we all sit and lie to each other.
• 19:30
  SPEAKER_00: Because we all ask in each other, like, oh, why do you want to work here?
• 19:33
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, I why are you leaving your job?
• 19:35
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, I don't know.
• 19:36
  SPEAKER_00: I just I want to progress and okay, and um, it's you know, and and um tell me about your skills.
• 19:42
  SPEAKER_00: Well, those are all true, however, I I sit here and we're we're all we're doing according song and dance, okay?
• 19:53
  SPEAKER_00: You know all these questions already, they're manufactured.
• 19:56
  SPEAKER_00: I know these answers to these questions already, and I'm gonna be honest with you.
• 19:59
  SPEAKER_00: This is what I always say, and it's because I've worked in places that are almost every job I've had.
• 20:04
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, they all have customer service typefacing industries within the industry.
• 20:10
  SPEAKER_00: Can I have a conversation with you?
• 20:12
  SPEAKER_00: Can I have a conversation with you?
• 20:13
  SPEAKER_00: Because you know what?
• 20:14
  SPEAKER_00: I can teach everything.
• 20:16
  SPEAKER_00: Teach you everything about the job, but I cannot teach your attitude.
• 20:19
  SPEAKER_00: You have an attitude, you have a strong work ethic, that's all I need from you.
• 20:25
  SPEAKER_00: I don't need your fucking, I don't need your sob story, you're a fucking single mom, you fucking small town ass, like I okay, and look, I'm just making shit up.
• 20:34
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I got four cats, whatever.
• 20:35
  SPEAKER_00: I gotta feed them.
• 20:37
  SPEAKER_00: What I'm saying is we all have a story.
• 20:42
  SPEAKER_00: We all need a dollar.
• 20:45
  SPEAKER_00: A dollar is what I need.
• 20:47
  SPEAKER_00: So if I share with you my story, will you share your dollar with me?
• 20:54
  SPEAKER_00: That being said, it's a song and dance, it's courting.
• 20:59
  SPEAKER_00: We're all lying to each other.
• 21:01
  SPEAKER_00: Embellishing.
• 21:04
  SPEAKER_00: It's not even embellishing, it's not fabrications.
• 21:08
  SPEAKER_00: But we are talking about we want to we we want to come off the right way, right?
• 21:17
  SPEAKER_00: So things we can do to do such things, there are really hardball questions that employers will ask you that they're looking for you to trip up.
• 21:28
  SPEAKER_00: They're looking for those red flags, right?
• 21:30
  SPEAKER_00: A lot of them, if they don't cash those red flags, even when you give them to them to them, uh, then they're fucking stupid.
• 21:37
  SPEAKER_00: But that being said, um, don't ever ask about a couple things.
• 21:40
  SPEAKER_00: Don't ever, I hate this, but you should be able to.
• 21:42
  SPEAKER_00: Don't ever ask about time off.
• 21:44
  SPEAKER_00: Don't ever ask about work life balance.
• 21:46
  SPEAKER_00: They're gonna lie to you.
• 21:47
  SPEAKER_00: They're gonna lie to you.
• 21:48
  SPEAKER_00: Lie back.
• 21:50
  SPEAKER_00: Don't ever ask about um, yeah, just how much vacation, how much time off I get, what are my benefits?
• 21:57
  SPEAKER_00: How much do you pay towards this?
• 21:58
  SPEAKER_00: Because, oh, we have a very competitive.
• 22:00
  SPEAKER_00: Um compensation and benefits package.
• 22:02
  SPEAKER_00: Suck my dick.
• 22:03
  SPEAKER_00: They do not.
• 22:05
  SPEAKER_00: Unless it's comprehensive, okay?
• 22:07
  SPEAKER_00: Unless they pay all that shit for you, it's not.
• 22:09
  SPEAKER_00: It's not competitive, okay?
• 22:12
  SPEAKER_00: Um don't ever ask.
• 22:16
  SPEAKER_00: Um, oh, sorry, let me back up.
• 22:19
  SPEAKER_00: When they do ask you, what are your questions?
• 22:24
  SPEAKER_00: What are your questions?
• 22:25
  SPEAKER_00: Ask them these things.
• 22:27
  SPEAKER_00: Here's what I like to ask.
• 22:30
  SPEAKER_00: What is the most challenging thing about working for this company?
• 22:35
  SPEAKER_00: What is the greatest thing about working for this company?
• 22:37
  SPEAKER_00: You might ask that first, and then the challenging?
• 22:40
  SPEAKER_00: What would you say for the person coming into this role is the most challenging thing they're gonna be facing?
• 22:46
  SPEAKER_00: These are some good ones though.
• 22:48
  SPEAKER_00: I'm looking for stability.
• 22:49
  SPEAKER_00: Have you ever had layoffs?
• 22:51
  SPEAKER_00: Barring COVID?
• 22:52
  SPEAKER_00: Have you ever had layoffs?
• 22:55
  SPEAKER_00: Or reductions in force, RIF?
• 22:58
  SPEAKER_00: Have you ever had riffs?
• 23:00
  SPEAKER_00: Is there any fucking reason?
• 23:01
  SPEAKER_00: Is you know, is there any reason for that?
• 23:03
  SPEAKER_00: What do you think could have been avoided?
• 23:05
  SPEAKER_00: Also, what is the turnover in this company?
• 23:08
  SPEAKER_00: By the way, if they don't know that number, that's a problem.
• 23:11
  SPEAKER_00: They need to fucking know their turnover.
• 23:13
  SPEAKER_00: That means they don't give a fuck about employee engagement.
• 23:16
  SPEAKER_00: And even if you don't know the turnover percentage for this company, what is it for, let's say, this department or the executives?
• 23:26
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 23:28
  SPEAKER_00: What is the turnover for that?
• 23:29
  SPEAKER_00: Why do you think that is?
• 23:31
  SPEAKER_00: How do you think that can be mitigated?
• 23:33
  SPEAKER_00: They're not expecting you to ask these questions.
• 23:37
  SPEAKER_00: But you should do your homework and find that shit out.
• 23:42
  SPEAKER_00: Take.
• 23:43
  SPEAKER_00: Keep going.
• 23:43
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 23:44
  SPEAKER_00: What'd you say?
• 23:45
  SPEAKER_01: So listening to you describing the process of finding a job and all the ins and outs of it, you know.
• 23:53
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, the lying, the Lie! The ghosting, or whatever you want to call it.
• 24:00
  SPEAKER_00: Ghosting!
• 24:01
  SPEAKER_01: I couldn't help but think like they're always gonna ghost you.
• 24:04
  SPEAKER_01: You're one of a million.
• 24:09
  SPEAKER_01: Modern dating.
• 24:11
  SPEAKER_00: Ooh, yeah, that's a related point.
• 24:13
  SPEAKER_00: It is like modern dating.
• 24:15
  SPEAKER_00: Which I'm really good at, by the way.
• 24:17
  SPEAKER_00: Um dating modern?
• 24:18
  SPEAKER_00: Because I have four cats.
• 24:20
  SPEAKER_00: And let me tell you, I don't know why no one picks me.
• 24:24
  SPEAKER_00: So.
• 24:26
  SPEAKER_01: Not pick me enough.
• 24:28
  SPEAKER_00: Is it the cats?
• 24:30
  SPEAKER_00: It's not the cats.
• 24:31
  SPEAKER_00: In fact, maybe I should have more cats.
• 24:34
  SPEAKER_00: So, it is, like I said, it's a courting process.
• 24:39
  SPEAKER_00: But also, yeah, absolutely.
• 24:42
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, and but I think people also need to realize, and I say this from the other side of the counter, that we get hundreds, thousands, tens of thousands of applications.
• 24:54
  SPEAKER_00: As much as I wish I could send all of you a little letter about, like, hey, da-da-da-da.
• 24:58
  SPEAKER_00: You're gonna get an auto-generated if you're lucky.
• 25:02
  SPEAKER_01: So, is that to say, like, a girl gets way too many matches?
• 25:05
  SPEAKER_01: Yes.
• 25:06
  SPEAKER_01: So she can't be genuine to everybody.
• 25:08
  SPEAKER_00: I got like 8,000 likes on fucking Tinder.
• 25:10
  SPEAKER_00: I shut that shit off.
• 25:12
  SPEAKER_01: So every guy gets the same message, can message, you know?
• 25:16
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you, but no, thank you.
• 25:18
  SPEAKER_01: And that's just the start.
• 25:20
  SPEAKER_00: I don't love it.
• 25:20
  SPEAKER_01: I that's just the start before you even get an interview.
• 25:23
  SPEAKER_00: What I mean, can we cut to that meme where it's got the girl with the hot dog who and uh-huh, yeah.
• 25:28
  SPEAKER_01: Uh-huh.
• 25:29
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, it's like that.
• 25:30
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 25:31
  SPEAKER_01: How else is finding a job like modern dating?
• 25:35
  SPEAKER_00: Hmm.
• 25:36
  SPEAKER_01: You know how like people on their resume, they lie, right?
• 25:39
  SPEAKER_01: You know how you know how like men lie about their what their height and like oh yeah, definitely.
• 25:45
  SPEAKER_01: And women lie about their weight.
• 25:47
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe don't lie about like dick size, right?
• 25:49
  SPEAKER_00: Like, cause she's gonna fight out at some point.
• 25:52
  SPEAKER_00: Like, it's it's like don't be lying about like the things you can do.
• 25:56
  SPEAKER_00: So maybe you can lie about dick size, but like how you right?
• 25:59
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know.
• 25:59
  SPEAKER_00: Doesn't matter, got laid, but it better not be a micro penis, right?
• 26:03
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 26:04
  SPEAKER_00: So um, don't lie about what you can do with that penis.
• 26:09
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, it folds in half.
• 26:13
  SPEAKER_00: Can they do that?
• 26:14
  SPEAKER_01: Um, some can, I'm sure.
• 26:17
  SPEAKER_00: Can we can we cut and do some research?
• 26:24
  SPEAKER_00: I love you.
• 26:24
  SPEAKER_00: That was good.
• 26:25
  SPEAKER_00: That was good.
• 26:26
  SPEAKER_00: That has to be a cut.
• 26:27
  SPEAKER_00: Like, can we because I went off camera, I go, can we, can we, and I said that why um we're back.
• 26:34
  SPEAKER_00: No, I'm we're back.
• 26:39
  SPEAKER_01: You lied.
• 26:40
  SPEAKER_00: He lied.
• 26:41
  SPEAKER_00: His penis does not uh fold in half, like he said, but it reminded me of brunch.
• 26:48
  SPEAKER_00: So how you know the fold table.
• 26:50
  SPEAKER_00: Oh you know, except it didn't because it didn't fold.
• 26:53
  SPEAKER_00: It it doesn't matter.
• 26:54
  SPEAKER_01: It's sprung.
• 26:55
  SPEAKER_00: America.
• 26:55
  SPEAKER_01: Like a spring.
• 26:59
  SPEAKER_00: Keep me sprung.
• 27:01
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, so where were we?
• 27:04
  SPEAKER_00: We were talking about foldable penises.
• 27:05
  SPEAKER_01: Uh-huh.
• 27:06
  SPEAKER_00: Don't put that on your resume if you can't fold your penis.
• 27:08
  SPEAKER_01: I'm finding a job that resembles modern dating.
• 27:10
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, yes.
• 27:10
  SPEAKER_00: Uh-huh.
• 27:11
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you.
• 27:11
  SPEAKER_01: So, like people lie about their height, or their weight, you know.
• 27:16
  SPEAKER_00: Right, right, right, right, right, right.
• 27:17
  SPEAKER_01: Their income.
• 27:19
  SPEAKER_00: Or um that I'm brown, don't call ice.
• 27:22
  SPEAKER_01: They post AI generated photos to make their life seem more exciting than it actually.
• 27:26
  SPEAKER_00: But that's another thing.
• 27:26
  SPEAKER_00: So places like South Korea and many other places, I've heard um you that it that's another thing that that's another reason that LinkedIn is bullshit.
• 27:37
  SPEAKER_00: Because I can go look at this candidate.
• 27:39
  SPEAKER_00: I can go look at them, okay?
• 27:41
  SPEAKER_00: And go see them.
• 27:42
  SPEAKER_00: I can you know, see their male, female, non-male, whatever the fuck.
• 27:46
  SPEAKER_00: I can see what they fucking look like, okay.
• 27:49
  SPEAKER_00: Which I think, I mean, honestly, it'd be nice if we could have numbers.
• 27:53
  SPEAKER_00: So that's another interesting thing, right?
• 27:55
  SPEAKER_00: Because first off, that's another thing that I think should be it should be illegal if it if it isn't already, and honestly, people are suing companies over this.
• 28:02
  SPEAKER_00: Some of those applications will ask when you graduated high school.
• 28:08
  SPEAKER_00: That means they know your fucking age, right?
• 28:12
  SPEAKER_00: 17 or 18 at the time you graduated high school, right?
• 28:16
  SPEAKER_00: That's not fucking right.
• 28:18
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 28:18
  SPEAKER_00: Um, or they might ask when you graduated from college, but again, still that's kind of uh, but you could what's in a name?
• 28:24
  SPEAKER_00: Let's go to that.
• 28:25
  SPEAKER_00: What's in a name?
• 28:28
  SPEAKER_00: My name is Sucha, okay, but my name was the most, one of the most uh prevalent prolific female names in America in 1989.
• 28:41
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 28:42
  SPEAKER_00: Um, if my name is Agnes, okay, if my name is Eleanor, you can assume that I might be a boomer or even older.
• 28:52
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 28:53
  SPEAKER_00: What's in a name?
• 28:55
  SPEAKER_00: You can assume the maybe the region that you're from or the place that you're from.
• 29:00
  SPEAKER_00: My name is Ashwarya.
• 29:02
  SPEAKER_00: You can assume, right?
• 29:05
  SPEAKER_00: Um, if my name might be Chantelle or Jerome, right?
• 29:08
  SPEAKER_00: You can assume from certain demographics what race I might be, where I might be from, right?
• 29:17
  SPEAKER_00: So these are things to keep in mind, and I think it's total bullshit.
• 29:21
  SPEAKER_00: They should I personally I don't think they should be able to ask your name.
• 29:24
  SPEAKER_00: Should have an applicant number, and I'm sure a lot of you have heard, I think it was a Boston uh study where they sent out 1500 applications, completely identical.
• 29:36
  SPEAKER_00: They have black sounding names and white sounding names.
• 29:40
  SPEAKER_00: Guess who overwhelmingly got chosen over those uh black sounding names that had the exact same fucking resume?
• 29:48
  SPEAKER_00: Guess who overwhelmingly got interviews?
• 29:51
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 29:52
  SPEAKER_00: So just things to think about.