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A Very Personal Mission with Jessica Ella · The Trauma Therapist

0:00
Speaker 1: Welcome to the Trauma Therapists podcast. My name is Gaming Person.
0:04
Speaker 1: I interview incredible people who've dedicated their lives to helping
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Speaker 1: those who've been impacted by trauma. A big thank you
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Speaker 1: to our sponsors and our guests who are supporting this show.
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Speaker 1: So five four, three, two and one our folks, welcome
0:20
Speaker 1: back to the podcast. Super excited to have my guest today,
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Speaker 1: Jessica Ella.
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Speaker 2: Jessica Welcome, Thanks for having me.
0:27
Speaker 1: Welcome. Jessica is Australia's leading women's trauma expert, speaker and
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Speaker 1: founder of the Uruka Healing Modality. After surviving profound childhood
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Speaker 1: trauma and transforming her pain into personal power, she's spent
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Speaker 1: the past six years working one on one with thousands
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Speaker 1: of women to help them heal, reclaim their identity and thrive.
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Speaker 1: Jessica combines somatic therapy, subconscious reprogramming, energetic healing and memory
0:54
Speaker 1: processing in her practice and teacher training programs. She lives
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Speaker 1: on the Mornington Peninsula with her two sons a partner,
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Speaker 1: and it's committed to guiding women from survival into freedom,
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Speaker 1: love and power. All right, Jessica, Obviously, just a little
1:09
Speaker 1: bit about you before we get going. Share with our
1:11
Speaker 1: listeners where you're from originally and where you are currently.
1:15
Speaker 2: Yeah, so do you mean location wise?
1:18
Speaker 1: Yeah?
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Speaker 3: Well yeah, yeah, I'm born and raised on the Mornington Peninsula,
1:23
Speaker 3: so I've always been here.
1:26
Speaker 2: Yeah, I love it here. Try to Australia in Australia. Yeah,
1:30
Speaker 2: in Australia.
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Speaker 3: Yeah, it's a beautiful, a beautiful coastline down the morning
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Speaker 3: Ten Pinsula. So it's in Victoria in Australia, Okay, and
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Speaker 3: yeah it's beach side, very beautiful.
1:46
Speaker 1: So let's start get into this. How did this journey
1:51
Speaker 1: start for you?
1:53
Speaker 3: It's it's interesting it really started for me. Healing and
1:59
Speaker 3: therapy was was kind of my obsession. It was never
2:03
Speaker 3: actually something that I had planned on doing as a career.
2:06
Speaker 3: I was actually a wedding planner, which is like very
2:09
Speaker 3: very opposite.
2:11
Speaker 1: Well some would say it's dramatic. Well, marriage is traumatic.
2:16
Speaker 3: Yeah, and it's a traumatic job planning people's weddings. But yeah,
2:21
Speaker 3: so I was a wedding planner, but I was.
2:23
Speaker 2: I became.
2:24
Speaker 3: I studied a certification called Fada healing and it's a
2:29
Speaker 3: bit bit more on the spiritual side, and I did
2:32
Speaker 3: that about fifteen years ago and it kind of just
2:35
Speaker 3: unlocked something in me where I've always been a very
2:38
Speaker 3: logical person raised by a very spiritual mum, and so
2:42
Speaker 3: it was always this like, Okay, I understand that that works,
2:46
Speaker 3: but how does that work? Why did that work? What
2:49
Speaker 3: did she do in this you know, in this session?
2:52
Speaker 3: And how do how does everything? How does everything work?
2:54
Speaker 3: Has basically been my obsession, and I kind of then
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Speaker 3: it unlocked this, Okay, what about the brain? What about psychology?
3:04
Speaker 3: What about human connection? What about And I started just
3:07
Speaker 3: going down this path of any certifications I could find,
3:11
Speaker 3: any different types of healing, any different types of therapy,
3:15
Speaker 3: I'd try them, and if they worked, I would need
3:18
Speaker 3: to understand how they worked, so I would go and
3:20
Speaker 3: study it. And at the time it was really just
3:25
Speaker 3: it was just a passion. It was never, like I said,
3:28
Speaker 3: going to be a career. But under the undercurrent of that,
3:32
Speaker 3: which I obviously didn't realize until many years later, was
3:34
Speaker 3: that I was also trying to understand how it works
3:37
Speaker 3: so that I could heal myself. And I was also
3:40
Speaker 3: very focused in on trauma specifically, and big trauma specifically,
3:45
Speaker 3: because I was wanting to heal my own trauma and
3:49
Speaker 3: understand why I was the way that I was, So
3:51
Speaker 3: there was that personal driving force that was fueling this passion.
3:56
Speaker 3: But that's really how it started is just having had
3:59
Speaker 3: a therapy session myself that was alternative, which was the
4:02
Speaker 3: Theta healing session, and then going wait a minute, what
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Speaker 3: is this? What is this and how does this work?
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Speaker 3: And it just sent me from there.
4:12
Speaker 1: You said you wanted to understand how you were the
4:14
Speaker 1: way you were? How were you.
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Speaker 2: I was? So my background is like I had a
4:22
Speaker 2: lot of repressed memory.
4:23
Speaker 3: So my way of dealing and coping with what was
4:26
Speaker 3: happening to me in my childhood was by repressing it.
4:29
Speaker 3: So there was always a lot of confusion around as
4:32
Speaker 3: I said, why I was the way I was, and
4:34
Speaker 3: the way that I was was that I was always panicked.
4:38
Speaker 3: I was. You know, if I would go out and
4:40
Speaker 3: have some drinks with my friend I friends, I would
4:43
Speaker 3: end up on the bathroom floor, curled up in a ball,
4:45
Speaker 3: emotional crying, not really understanding why I had so many feelings.
4:50
Speaker 3: I thought about dying every single day. I was very
4:54
Speaker 3: obsessive suicidal thoughts, and I kind of, for a long
4:58
Speaker 3: period of time, thought that that was normal more. But
5:00
Speaker 3: then as I got a little bit older, I realized, oh,
5:04
Speaker 3: not everyone's like this, Not everyone's feeling like this, not
5:07
Speaker 3: if everyone's thinking this, And yeah, it was the only
5:10
Speaker 3: way I can describe it was that there was like
5:12
Speaker 3: this darkness inside me that followed me around, and I
5:15
Speaker 3: didn't know why it was there, but I knew that
5:17
Speaker 3: it was heavy and that I just Yeah, so if I.
5:21
Speaker 1: Met at this time that you're describing, First of all,
5:27
Speaker 1: with all due respect, are we talking about interpersonal violence abuse? Yeah?
5:34
Speaker 3: You have repressed Yeah, so okay, Wow, we're talking So
5:40
Speaker 3: my father and my grandfather, physical abuse, torture, sexual abuse,
5:46
Speaker 3: that verbal abuse, like yeah, quite consistent sexual abuse from
5:51
Speaker 3: my father, and a few incidences of like physical like
5:55
Speaker 3: I'm per fully deaf in my left ear. I was
5:57
Speaker 3: hit so hard, like a lot of yeah, a lot
6:00
Speaker 3: of different different types of abuse. But also really with
6:04
Speaker 3: my father, a lot of like psychological confusing games, and
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Speaker 3: you know, a different treatment of me versus my siblings,
6:15
Speaker 3: like getting them to open gifts in front of me
6:17
Speaker 3: when not giving me a gift, and you know, just
6:20
Speaker 3: forgetting my birthday intentionally and just constantly criticizing, constantly putting
6:26
Speaker 3: me down, and you know, trying to like morph into
6:30
Speaker 3: who he wanted me to be, so, you know, doing
6:34
Speaker 3: what I thought he would want me to do, and
6:35
Speaker 3: then he would still criticize for that. So just my
6:38
Speaker 3: whole identity was really wrapped around around that trauma. It
6:42
Speaker 3: was really just like rooted I have to be to
6:45
Speaker 3: survive him, to survive them.
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Speaker 1: Wow. So you talked about going out drinking with your friends,
6:54
Speaker 1: ending up oftentimes in the bathroom floor during this time, Again,
7:00
Speaker 1: all of this was repressed, so you weren't like drawing
7:03
Speaker 1: a direct line from what am I doing? Well, it's
7:06
Speaker 1: because of what the hell happened to me? You weren't
7:08
Speaker 1: thinking that way. No, So okay, so how do things
7:12
Speaker 1: unfold for you?
7:14
Speaker 3: Yeah, so I think a lot of like I've come
7:16
Speaker 3: to realize that, you know, the moments where I repressed it.
7:20
Speaker 3: There was a lot of part of like the torture
7:23
Speaker 3: and a lot of the threats. There's a lot of
7:25
Speaker 3: threats around being killed if I was to tell anybody.
7:28
Speaker 3: So there was like a process of having having to
7:30
Speaker 3: forget and obviously and I loved my dad too. I
7:34
Speaker 3: wanted to continue to him to be for him to
7:36
Speaker 3: be my dad. So it was like this solution from
7:38
Speaker 3: my brain. And the way that it unfolded was I
7:44
Speaker 3: I got became really sick with lime disease, and off
7:48
Speaker 3: the back of like some treatments, I was really intensely
7:52
Speaker 3: doing meditations and trying to just calm my nervous system
7:56
Speaker 3: and create safety in my body. And I created so
7:59
Speaker 3: much safety that one day I was doing this, you know,
8:02
Speaker 3: follow your intuition meditation, and I came to this, came
8:08
Speaker 3: to this. It was a part where you're guided to
8:10
Speaker 3: this room and there's three boxes and you're supposed to
8:13
Speaker 3: open one of these boxes and there's a message for you.
8:16
Speaker 3: And I opened this box and these memories came out.
8:19
Speaker 3: And this is where it kind of gets confusing for
8:21
Speaker 3: some people is that although I repressed it, I had
8:25
Speaker 3: flashbacks of the trauma at least every week, but sometimes
8:29
Speaker 3: every day. But I've actually developed ways to cope with
8:33
Speaker 3: those flashbacks where I didn't actually have a narrative around
8:39
Speaker 3: what was happening. So I would have these flashbacks with
8:43
Speaker 3: my father of these horrific things, and the way that
8:46
Speaker 3: I would cope is that I would blink my eyes
8:48
Speaker 3: really hard, and I would say, you're disgusting for thinking
8:51
Speaker 3: about that, And so I would put it back onto myself,
8:54
Speaker 3: push it back down, and I never actually had to
8:56
Speaker 3: look at what was happening. And in this meditation, I
8:59
Speaker 3: saw all these memories and I'm like, oh, that's really strange.
9:02
Speaker 3: Why are these memories in there? And because I was
9:05
Speaker 3: obviously in an altered state for the first time in
9:08
Speaker 3: my life, I had that moment that of oh, wait
9:12
Speaker 3: a minute, why is that happening. Why is my dad
9:15
Speaker 3: doing that to me? Those are real memories? Why why
9:19
Speaker 3: why is he doing this? Oh my gosh, my dad
9:21
Speaker 3: is my dad's My dad's a pedophile, my dad's an
9:23
Speaker 3: abuse a my a bad dad. And so it was
9:26
Speaker 3: like a it was a moment where I saw them
9:29
Speaker 3: for what they were and that then unlocked everything.
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Speaker 2: I was the worst time in my life.
9:36
Speaker 3: I was just every every night as I would go
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Speaker 3: to bed, hit with more and more memories and it's
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Speaker 3: like my brain just up was like unlocking everything that
9:45
Speaker 3: was there.
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Speaker 1: Did you manage that?
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Speaker 2: Not very well? Yeah, it was. I had two young
9:53
Speaker 2: kids at the time. My boys were wow, like one
9:57
Speaker 2: and a half or two, two and four.
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Speaker 3: Yeah, I was running my wedding planning business, and yeah,
10:05
Speaker 3: it was. It was intense. It was a really really
10:09
Speaker 3: bad time. I was on the phone too. There's a
10:12
Speaker 3: helpline in Australia called the Blueknot help Line and they
10:15
Speaker 3: are specific for complex trauma. So I was on the
10:19
Speaker 3: helpline and I was using all of the tools that
10:23
Speaker 3: I that i'd learned and what I'd created, and yeah,
10:27
Speaker 3: just one memory at a time really, to be honest,
10:30
Speaker 3: like it was this pool of like I can't cope
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Speaker 3: with this, and then I have to. I can't cope
10:38
Speaker 3: with this, I have to and just pulling myself out
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Speaker 3: of that hole and going one more session, one more memory,
10:44
Speaker 3: one more day, and just kind of getting through that way.
10:48
Speaker 1: One more session. Meaning were you in therapy at the time.
10:52
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, so like one more Yeah, so I was
10:56
Speaker 3: doing I started doing ifs at that time, and then
11:00
Speaker 3: I was also doing like I don't So at this
11:02
Speaker 3: point I had created a created a ruka as well,
11:05
Speaker 3: and so I was doing a lot of things on
11:08
Speaker 3: my on my own mind as well. So I was
11:10
Speaker 3: helped like processing some of my own memories and noticing
11:13
Speaker 3: subconscious beliefs that were there, and I was kind of
11:16
Speaker 3: spreading it across doing things myself. Having a friend who
11:19
Speaker 3: also practices, helping me, doing ifs, calling the helpline. So
11:24
Speaker 3: just like as many tools as I could kind of
11:26
Speaker 3: just to yeah, to get to get through that time.
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Speaker 1: And Jessic a damn intense. I mean, come on, let's
11:35
Speaker 1: just say it is right. I mean, but you put
11:39
Speaker 1: first of all, thank you for coming on here and
11:42
Speaker 1: sharing that and to deal with that to move through that, right,
11:48
Speaker 1: I mean the strength you have, thank you.
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Speaker 3: It is like it it's an internal strength. And I
11:59
Speaker 3: think some people ask like how, and it's like I
12:02
Speaker 3: don't even know. I don't actually there's no like tool
12:06
Speaker 3: or like no, it's just like it. It would happen,
12:11
Speaker 3: and I would be like, no, you're not giving up.
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Speaker 3: You're not giving up today one more day, keep going,
12:15
Speaker 3: you can do this. Like my own my own life
12:17
Speaker 3: coach in my mind, were.
12:22
Speaker 1: You talked about thoughts of death. You said, did you
12:28
Speaker 1: ever try to commit suicide? No?
12:31
Speaker 3: I didn't, So I'd planned it a couple of times,
12:34
Speaker 3: and you know how it planned out for like Okay,
12:37
Speaker 3: it's going to happen now, it's time. It's going to
12:39
Speaker 3: happen this weekend. But I would always get there and
12:42
Speaker 3: have that same thought of like what if you just
12:46
Speaker 3: try this, or what if you.
12:47
Speaker 2: Just do what? Like one more?
12:49
Speaker 3: Like there was always just this like, oh, like there
12:52
Speaker 3: is hope, like just just try one more thing, or
12:55
Speaker 3: I'd manage to sort of break myself out of it.
12:57
Speaker 3: And then when I had my kids, it was kind
12:58
Speaker 3: of like a lot of my journals read you know,
13:02
Speaker 3: a lot of darkness when all of this was happening
13:04
Speaker 3: and I'm struggling and I can't cope, and I think
13:08
Speaker 3: a lot of people.
13:08
Speaker 2: Don't realize as well as I was.
13:10
Speaker 3: Like, like I said earlier, I loved my dad, So
13:13
Speaker 3: realizing all of this and having to cope with all
13:16
Speaker 3: of this, I had to cut him out of my life.
13:18
Speaker 2: He was still in my life, and so there was like.
13:21
Speaker 3: Grief and terror and grief and terror and grief and
13:24
Speaker 3: terror in circles and so but yeah, I had my
13:28
Speaker 3: kids at that point, and so it was like all
13:31
Speaker 3: my journals just read like I have to stay for them.
13:34
Speaker 3: I refuse to pass this on, to pass trauma onto them,
13:39
Speaker 3: and it's not their fault what happened to me. So
13:42
Speaker 3: I'm going to process that and not pass anything onto them.
13:46
Speaker 3: So they were a really big driving force of getting
13:49
Speaker 3: me through.
13:51
Speaker 1: Let me just remind everyone speaking with Jessica Alla, founder
13:54
Speaker 1: of the Ruka healing modality, which we're going to get
13:58
Speaker 1: into in just a minute here, or what were some
14:02
Speaker 1: of the things that allowed you to keep going? I
14:04
Speaker 1: mean you mentioned your kids, of course. Yeah, in terms
14:08
Speaker 1: of what else, modalities, treatments, therapists, friends.
14:14
Speaker 3: Partner, Yeah, No, it was me, like my I was
14:21
Speaker 3: in a really bad marriage at the time, and he
14:25
Speaker 3: was really unsupportive and really inconvenienced by the fact that
14:29
Speaker 3: this was all happening. So there was I was doing
14:32
Speaker 3: all of that alone. I wasn't actually even really allowed
14:34
Speaker 3: to speak about what was happening because he didn't want
14:37
Speaker 3: to know. So yeah, honestly, like I, it was having
14:42
Speaker 3: an understanding at that time already of the subconscious mind
14:47
Speaker 3: of memories, of you know, energetics of how memories, how
14:53
Speaker 3: memories work, and even of somatics, and of what was
14:56
Speaker 3: happening in my body. And so because I'd done ten
15:00
Speaker 3: years up to this point of research and of studying,
15:05
Speaker 3: I had this it did. It stopped me from feeling
15:09
Speaker 3: a lot of the time because I was very analytical,
15:11
Speaker 3: so it was like, oh, okay, this one wants to
15:13
Speaker 3: be this memory wants to be processed, and this is
15:16
Speaker 3: coming from you know, this place, and this is what's
15:19
Speaker 3: happening in my body right now. And I, you know,
15:21
Speaker 3: I had that analytical side and understanding, but I was
15:24
Speaker 3: doing things like like like putting myself like going into
15:28
Speaker 3: my subconscious mind and looking at what are the beliefs
15:31
Speaker 3: that I created in these moments, What are the beliefs
15:34
Speaker 3: that I've created from each of these different traumatic memories
15:39
Speaker 3: about who I am and what I deserve and how
15:41
Speaker 3: the world works. And so there was a lot of
15:43
Speaker 3: looking at my beliefs around safety and around what it
15:47
Speaker 3: is and isn't safe to do and to be. And
15:50
Speaker 3: I was going into each of these memories, and the
15:52
Speaker 3: way that I was actually processing them, which is the
15:55
Speaker 3: method that I now use, is that I would be
15:58
Speaker 3: taking myself into a face to brainwave or into like
16:01
Speaker 3: a hypnotical ec state, and I would go back into
16:04
Speaker 3: the memory and I would I would I would put
16:07
Speaker 3: myself back into it, but I would bring my oldest self,
16:11
Speaker 3: the age that I am now into the memory, and
16:14
Speaker 3: I would allow myself to change the memory. So memories
16:17
Speaker 3: where I was being abused, I would fight back if
16:20
Speaker 3: I felt that I wanted to fight back, but I
16:22
Speaker 3: would get my body involved as well, so I would
16:24
Speaker 3: be shaking or I would be punching or kicking and
16:27
Speaker 3: moving my body, and I'd be saying these things out
16:30
Speaker 3: loud while I was in that theater brainwave, so my
16:34
Speaker 3: brain and my body was pairing it together. So I
16:36
Speaker 3: would be screaming and yelling and crying and getting those
16:40
Speaker 3: emotions out whilst I was actually visually imagining processing. I
16:45
Speaker 3: did a lot of techniques where I would like pretend
16:47
Speaker 3: I was pointing a shrink ray gun at my father
16:50
Speaker 3: and shrinking him down really small and popping him in
16:52
Speaker 3: the bin and trying to like, you know, make him
16:55
Speaker 3: smaller in my mind so that I wasn't so terrified
16:58
Speaker 3: of him, because there was a period there where I
17:01
Speaker 3: was really terrified that he was going to come and
17:03
Speaker 3: kill me because he'd said that that's what he'd do.
17:05
Speaker 3: So I was constantly, yeah, using these using these techniques,
17:10
Speaker 3: putting myself into that into that state, and when I
17:14
Speaker 3: would get really stuck and there was things that I
17:17
Speaker 3: felt like I couldn't process myself because obviously we can't
17:20
Speaker 3: do it all ourselves, and that was a very you
17:23
Speaker 3: know I'd learned to do it all myself. I learned
17:25
Speaker 3: how to repress myself, I learned how to survive as
17:28
Speaker 3: a child, so I was very hyper independent. So at
17:32
Speaker 3: some point I realized I need some external help, and
17:34
Speaker 3: that's where I started to call the helpline and they
17:37
Speaker 3: were very holistic practitioners as well, so that was where
17:43
Speaker 3: one lady said to me, you're very like you've done
17:46
Speaker 3: a lot of really good processing of the memories and
17:50
Speaker 3: you understand them, but it sounds like you haven't really
17:53
Speaker 3: felt everything that needs to be felt and for a
17:55
Speaker 3: period of time, you need to stop being so analytical
17:58
Speaker 3: and stop working on the subcond just and the beliefs
18:01
Speaker 3: and what is this and where does that come from,
18:03
Speaker 3: and be in your body and feel everything.
18:04
Speaker 2: And I was like, oh, very.
18:08
Speaker 3: Insightful, so that I imagine, yeah, very scary. So that's
18:13
Speaker 3: when I leaned into somatics and breath work and understanding
18:17
Speaker 3: how to speak to the body and asking my body
18:19
Speaker 3: what it needs and how it wants to move, and
18:22
Speaker 3: started to process things at that body level. And that
18:25
Speaker 3: was when it really sort of all came together because
18:28
Speaker 3: I realized that it has to be all of that's
18:31
Speaker 3: what That's where those four pillars of Aruka came from,
18:33
Speaker 3: because it was like, oh, even if you process things
18:37
Speaker 3: visually and your mind knows that you're safe, your body
18:41
Speaker 3: doesn't know still and they're connected, but they're also very separate.
18:45
Speaker 2: And so the nervous system and the.
18:47
Speaker 3: Body and you know, implicit memories stored within the body
18:50
Speaker 3: is like that. It doesn't know that it's past. It
18:53
Speaker 3: thinks that it's still current. So pairing that all together
18:56
Speaker 3: was what just made it go and everything came together.
19:02
Speaker 1: Jessic go, let me just say, you are freaking amazing.
19:06
Speaker 1: You are. Come on, you are just like listening to you,
19:11
Speaker 1: looking at you having gone through this and the way
19:14
Speaker 1: you did and the strength you had and you know
19:19
Speaker 1: how you survived. You know, some might say, well that's
19:24
Speaker 1: you've got to do it, but I just want to
19:27
Speaker 1: acknowledge that. Thanks and you're so inspiring. You're welcome. How
19:34
Speaker 1: let's talk about the Ruka method. How I'm imagining this
19:37
Speaker 1: is how it started laid out for us. How did
19:40
Speaker 1: you create this?
19:43
Speaker 3: Yeah, so over that ten years when I was sort
19:46
Speaker 3: of when I was studying, I was collecting that information
19:49
Speaker 3: and when I started practicing I again it was it
19:54
Speaker 3: was a hobby. So I'd sold the wedding and events
19:57
Speaker 3: business and realized that, oh, I'm in a constant state
20:01
Speaker 3: of stress and panic. I probably need to like calm
20:03
Speaker 3: down a little bit. And so I thought, you know what,
20:08
Speaker 3: I'll start doing some therapy slash healing sessions for my friends.
20:11
Speaker 3: I've done all these certifications. I really love it. Fifty dollars,
20:15
Speaker 3: come to my house, lay on my couch, and we'll
20:17
Speaker 3: do some sessions. And it spread like wildfire. So within
20:22
Speaker 3: the first year I ended up seeing nearly four hundred people,
20:27
Speaker 3: which is funny because everyone was like, you're supposed to
20:30
Speaker 3: be resting, this is supposed to be a rest year,
20:34
Speaker 3: but it was also meant to be. So what I
20:37
Speaker 3: realized was that once I started practicing, it was kind
20:40
Speaker 3: of this feeling of like, well, the NLP is really good,
20:44
Speaker 3: but you kind of need to do this, as wow,
20:47
Speaker 3: we kind of need to do the hypnotherapy or you
20:49
Speaker 3: kind of need to do the belief work. And the
20:52
Speaker 3: belief work is really good and really powerful to work
20:54
Speaker 3: with the subconscious, but like, the memories are still unprocessed,
20:58
Speaker 3: and so memory processing is really good in the MDR
21:01
Speaker 3: is really but then you don't you don't do the
21:02
Speaker 3: bleass and then the body's not included. And it was
21:05
Speaker 3: kind of this process of like, oh, I've been to
21:08
Speaker 3: all these therapists and studied all of these things which
21:10
Speaker 3: are good for one part of healing, but they're not
21:13
Speaker 3: the whole complete method and they're not incorporating all pillars.
21:16
Speaker 3: And I was thinking, you know, this is why people
21:19
Speaker 3: spend so many years having to go through all different
21:22
Speaker 3: types of therapy and spending so much money because what
21:26
Speaker 3: as actually and.
21:27
Speaker 1: Not knowing where to go, not.
21:29
Speaker 3: Knowing where to go, yeah, right, and maybe finishing belief
21:34
Speaker 3: work or hypnotherapy or belief work and thinking, yeah, I
21:37
Speaker 3: feel like good, you know, I feel good in my
21:39
Speaker 3: mind now, or I feel like I'm a better version
21:41
Speaker 3: of myself, but I'm still having all these flashbacks and
21:44
Speaker 3: I'm still waking up in a panic, and even though
21:47
Speaker 3: my mind feels good, my body doesn't know that I'm okay.
21:49
Speaker 3: And kind of then they searching for something else, and
21:52
Speaker 3: then they're going down this path and people do heal
21:56
Speaker 3: once they've kind of ticked off these four pillars. So
21:58
Speaker 3: I thought, what would happen if I started to practice
22:01
Speaker 3: intuitively and I started to incorporate and create a session
22:06
Speaker 3: where they can process the memory, but off the back
22:09
Speaker 3: of processing the memory, we regulate their nervous system throughout
22:12
Speaker 3: and at the end so their body knows that they're safe.
22:14
Speaker 3: And then what if we looked at the subconscious beliefs
22:17
Speaker 3: they created in that memory and shifted those subconscious beliefs afterwards.
22:22
Speaker 3: And what if at the same time, I was making
22:24
Speaker 3: sure that they were in their body and feeling everything
22:27
Speaker 3: that needed to be felt, asking their body how it
22:29
Speaker 3: wanted to move, what the words are that they needed
22:32
Speaker 3: to say out loud? Because a lot of therapy is
22:34
Speaker 3: done in the mind. Talk to your in a child,
22:36
Speaker 3: in your mind. And I thought, what would happen if
22:38
Speaker 3: we think about the power of words and NLPs a
22:41
Speaker 3: lot of you know, talking about words and the power
22:44
Speaker 3: of words and the power of speech. And so it
22:46
Speaker 3: was like, what would happen if we did it out loud?
22:48
Speaker 3: What would happen if they were saying those words out
22:50
Speaker 3: loud but they were in a theater brainwave and they
22:54
Speaker 3: were it felt like it was real and they were
22:56
Speaker 3: in this like hypnotic state, And what would happen if
22:59
Speaker 3: we included nyer jet into that and I was the
23:01
Speaker 3: witness of all of this happening, and I was helping to,
23:05
Speaker 3: you know, on a quantum level, shift everything. What would
23:08
Speaker 3: happen if I did that? And I did that, and
23:10
Speaker 3: it was fucking wild. So these people just started healing,
23:16
Speaker 3: like and memories that they were bringing to me were
23:20
Speaker 3: shifting very quickly, and they were feeling like new people,
23:24
Speaker 3: and they were coming for a few sessions and noticing
23:27
Speaker 3: huge progress, to the point where I had two psychologists
23:30
Speaker 3: come to me who said, if you saw one of
23:33
Speaker 3: my clients that I've had for ten years, and I
23:35
Speaker 3: don't know what you did, but do it to me.
23:37
Speaker 3: I want to see what you did, tell me what
23:39
Speaker 3: you did. And so I would do it, and they
23:41
Speaker 3: one of them actually signed up to do the course
23:43
Speaker 3: with me because she was so mind blown by the
23:47
Speaker 3: progress that she saw in her client that she had
23:49
Speaker 3: not been able to make any groundwork with. And so
23:53
Speaker 3: it just was this thing of like it was never planned.
23:57
Speaker 3: It was just okay, well, I've seen four one hundred people.
24:00
Speaker 3: Now people are knocking down my door, people that were
24:03
Speaker 3: really struggling, Like I was getting messages every day, I'm suicidal,
24:07
Speaker 3: I don't want to live anymore I've been referred to
24:09
Speaker 3: you please, can you see me tomorrow? And being the
24:12
Speaker 3: people pleaser that I was at that time, I was
24:16
Speaker 3: fitting people in. I had no boundaries. I was burning out.
24:19
Speaker 3: And a friend of mine who had done a life
24:21
Speaker 3: coaching certification, said, can you teach me what you're doing
24:24
Speaker 3: and then you can start referring people onto me. So
24:27
Speaker 3: I wrote it all down and it took me like
24:30
Speaker 3: a month, and then she said, honey, this is the
24:32
Speaker 3: whole certificate. This is a whole course. You should see
24:35
Speaker 3: if you can get this like certified and everything. And
24:38
Speaker 3: because this is a whole course, you should start selling it.
24:40
Speaker 3: And so I let her do it, and then I
24:43
Speaker 3: went down that path and one hundred and fifty students
24:46
Speaker 3: around the world later, it was yea meant to be.
24:52
Speaker 1: Jessica. You know, the way you talked about your story
24:58
Speaker 1: and your journey, I think answers my question that I'm
25:06
Speaker 1: about to ask you. But why do you think that
25:15
Speaker 1: you were able to create this method that, from the
25:19
Speaker 1: way you described it came at trauma from like a
25:23
Speaker 1: three sixty degree way, right. It wasn't just with the
25:30
Speaker 1: intellectual or the somatic. But why did it come out
25:35
Speaker 1: this way do you feel.
25:37
Speaker 3: Because I mean, my personal opinion of this is that
25:42
Speaker 3: a lot of people who create, say, for instance, like
25:45
Speaker 3: a psychology degree, or a lot of people who are
25:48
Speaker 3: intellectual or who have like a research background, maybe don't
25:53
Speaker 3: necessarily have intense levels of childhood trauma. And so I
25:58
Speaker 3: had a very personal mission. It was a very very
26:00
Speaker 3: personal mission to me to uncover and unlock how healing
26:04
Speaker 3: works at the deepest level possible, because it was like
26:06
Speaker 3: I need this, and if I need this, other people
26:09
Speaker 3: need this. And so I think that my obsession and
26:13
Speaker 3: my personality has always been how does it work? How
26:16
Speaker 3: does it work? Not even just with healing. I think
26:19
Speaker 3: that part of my personality that had to understand the
26:22
Speaker 3: how and if there was any gaps, anythings of like
26:25
Speaker 3: oh why does that happen?
26:27
Speaker 2: Why does the brain do that? Or why does this happen?
26:29
Speaker 2: It was like I need to know.
26:31
Speaker 3: I need to research and uncover until I figure it out,
26:33
Speaker 3: not just for everybody else, but for myself. So I
26:37
Speaker 3: think a lot of like personal experience and wanting to
26:42
Speaker 3: actually heal myself, and I think I read a lot
26:47
Speaker 3: a lot of places when I was trying to heal
26:48
Speaker 3: from father daughter, sexual abuse, and complex trauma. It was
26:51
Speaker 3: kind of like, you'll learn how to cope with it,
26:54
Speaker 3: You'll learn.
26:55
Speaker 2: How to manage it.
26:55
Speaker 3: And I was like, no, no, no, no, no, no no.
26:59
Speaker 2: We're not doing that. We're not doing that.
27:01
Speaker 3: We're fixing it. I will find a way to fix it.
27:03
Speaker 3: And so it was that part of my personality that
27:05
Speaker 3: was quite determined. But the personal experience, because a lot
27:09
Speaker 3: of people working with people's pain don't necessarily have haven't
27:13
Speaker 3: experienced that same level of pain, and so they don't
27:17
Speaker 3: know what to do with it because they have an
27:18
Speaker 3: experienced it, Whereas I have somebody come to me with
27:21
Speaker 3: pretty much any level of trauma at this point, and
27:24
Speaker 3: I know what to do with it because I've healed
27:25
Speaker 3: it in myself. I've been there, I've researched, and I
27:29
Speaker 3: won't practice on somebody until I've know that it's it's
27:32
Speaker 3: you know, healed in myself.
27:34
Speaker 2: So I think that's where it comes from.
27:38
Speaker 1: Okay, when you how do you how are you defining healing?
27:42
Speaker 2: How am I defining it?
27:45
Speaker 1: Well?
27:45
Speaker 3: For me, it's when you're almost like a different version
27:51
Speaker 3: of yourself.
27:51
Speaker 2: So, like I always say to people.
27:53
Speaker 3: The version of you that you had to become in
27:55
Speaker 3: order to survive is a completely different version of yourself
27:58
Speaker 3: that you have to become in order to thrive. So
28:02
Speaker 3: a lot of our personality is made up from the
28:05
Speaker 3: subconscious belief Our personality is essentially our subconscious beliefs about
28:10
Speaker 3: who we had to be. And if you had to
28:12
Speaker 3: be someone who was like small and quiet and you know,
28:15
Speaker 3: and you're someone who felt helpless and weak and defenseless.
28:18
Speaker 3: And the version of you that you're going to become
28:21
Speaker 3: is very different to the version of you that you
28:24
Speaker 3: become once you hear, which is to me free, powerful,
28:28
Speaker 3: able to accept love, be loved, you know, believing that
28:32
Speaker 3: you're worthy, having high self worth, more confidence. To me,
28:37
Speaker 3: healed is as well like not having flashbacks, being able
28:41
Speaker 3: to think about those memories and going that was pretty
28:44
Speaker 3: messed up, but nothing's happening in my body and it
28:48
Speaker 3: doesn't affect my life anymore. It's not who I am.
28:51
Speaker 3: And I think that for me, especially people with complex trauma,
28:54
Speaker 3: there needs to be this split between that's what happened,
28:56
Speaker 3: but it's not who I am, because it becomes who
28:59
Speaker 3: we are, and you think that you think that that's
29:03
Speaker 3: who you are. I'm this traumatized person. I'm disgusting. If
29:06
Speaker 3: that disgusting things have happened to you, you take on
29:09
Speaker 3: that identity. So for me, it's this separation of that's
29:13
Speaker 3: the trauma, and that happens then and that's here, but
29:16
Speaker 3: this is who I am now and it doesn't affect
29:18
Speaker 3: me anymore. That's that to me. Is that to me
29:22
Speaker 3: is healed. It doesn't, It doesn't control your life, doesn't
29:24
Speaker 3: affect your life.
29:29
Speaker 1: Wow, now, Jessica, you you're incredible. I mean really, just
29:39
Speaker 1: to hear what you've gone through and how you put
29:45
Speaker 1: all this together is inspiring. I mean, thank you. Lack
29:49
Speaker 1: of a form better word. How do people learn about you,
29:53
Speaker 1: learn more about what you're doing and continue to knock
29:57
Speaker 1: your door down? How do they? So?
30:02
Speaker 3: I have a website, Jessica Alla dot com dot au,
30:06
Speaker 3: and I have so many things on there, like I
30:08
Speaker 3: have a self led program that kind of teaches people,
30:11
Speaker 3: you know, the stages that I went through and the
30:13
Speaker 3: realizations that I had. And a lot of people say
30:16
Speaker 3: to me, like it's like, you know what I need
30:17
Speaker 3: right before I need It'm like, that's because I've done it.
30:20
Speaker 2: So there's there's programs there.
30:21
Speaker 3: I've got a community within that, and I have an
30:23
Speaker 3: online clinic where my top five therapists out of out
30:27
Speaker 3: of all of them, have handpicked five that I did
30:29
Speaker 3: additional training with, and they see all of my clients now.
30:33
Speaker 3: So I've actually taken a step back from from that,
30:35
Speaker 3: which was a good move for me. So they see
30:41
Speaker 3: all of my clients out there have amazing results. And yeah,
30:44
Speaker 3: so that's kind of the Jesscala dot com. Dot you
30:47
Speaker 3: is the best place to go for everything. The certification
30:50
Speaker 3: is on there. So for anyone that's thinking I kind
30:52
Speaker 3: of want to learn how to do this and blend
30:54
Speaker 3: all of this together, it's all it's all on the
30:58
Speaker 3: same on that one website there, so they can have
31:00
Speaker 3: a little look around.
31:02
Speaker 1: Okay, we'll have all that linked up at the show
31:05
Speaker 1: notes page at the Trauma Therapist podcast dot com. Jessica, Yeah,
31:11
Speaker 1: I loved having you here. Appreciate you sharing, vulnerably sharing
31:17
Speaker 1: your story, and love to have you back at a
31:19
Speaker 1: later date.
31:20
Speaker 2: Thank you. I love that. Thank you so much for
31:22
Speaker 2: having me.
31:24
Speaker 1: You're welcome. We'll be in touch. Thank you.
31:26
Speaker 2: Thank you.