Latest / I Said No Gifts! A comedy interview podcast with Bridger Winegar / Michelle Collins Disobeys Bridger

Transcript

Michelle Collins Disobeys Bridger · I Said No Gifts! A comedy interview podcast with Bridger Winegar

• 0:08
  Speaker 1: And I invited you here.
• 0:13
  Speaker 2: Thought I made myself perfectly clear. When you're a guess
• 0:18
  Speaker 2: to my home, you gotta come to me empty. And
• 0:25
  Speaker 2: I said, no, guests, your own presences presence enough, and
• 0:31
  Speaker 2: I already had too much stuff, So how do you dare.
• 0:36
  Speaker 1: To surbey me?
• 0:49
  Speaker 3: Welcome to I said, no gifts. I'm Pritchard Wineger and
• 0:54
  Speaker 3: I'm totally disoriented. I'm in the studio feeling normal and
• 0:59
  Speaker 3: not normal and very off. And so that's the energy
• 1:04
  Speaker 3: that I'm kind of trying to put out into the world. Why, well,
• 1:07
  Speaker 3: I have some bad news to report. Yesterday I stood
• 1:12
  Speaker 3: up for myself. Somebody cut in front of me in line,
• 1:15
  Speaker 3: and I cleared my throat, and so I don't think
• 1:18
  Speaker 3: that they'll ever do that again, you know, And I
• 1:21
  Speaker 3: probably won't either, because it was very uncomfortable and the
• 1:24
  Speaker 3: ensuing confrontation when I was asked, did we cut in
• 1:28
  Speaker 3: front of you? I didn't want to have to answer
• 1:30
  Speaker 3: that question, and I did, and then it was just
• 1:32
  Speaker 3: a disaster. So from now on, just steamroll me. Whatever.
• 1:37
  Speaker 3: Is there anything else going on? Not as far as
• 1:41
  Speaker 3: I can tell. I'm just I think what's happening is
• 1:46
  Speaker 3: they've started wrapping the baby bell cheese and paper. And
• 1:49
  Speaker 3: this is a new experience. I don't know if you've
• 1:51
  Speaker 3: had the baby bell cheese in the past. It used
• 1:53
  Speaker 3: to be a more crinkly paper or crinkly wrap, and
• 1:56
  Speaker 3: now it's a paper. And now the rest of my
• 1:59
  Speaker 3: life has been thrown off course. So before anything else
• 2:02
  Speaker 3: bad happens, let's just get into the podcast. I love
• 2:05
  Speaker 3: today's guest. It's Michelle Collins. Michelle, Oh my god, I said, no.
• 2:09
  Speaker 1: Gifts for sure. It is like psychically you know me
• 2:12
  Speaker 1: so well to even open with standing up for yourself
• 2:15
  Speaker 1: because I always stand up for myself. You do, Yes,
• 2:17
  Speaker 1: I have personal problems because of it, like not.
• 2:20
  Speaker 3: Good what like what are you standing up for yourself
• 2:22
  Speaker 3: in like in minor situations?
• 2:24
  Speaker 1: Well, it happened to me funny enough, and hello listeners,
• 2:27
  Speaker 1: and I'm so thrilled to be here. And I just
• 2:29
  Speaker 1: you put me in such a good, lovely place as
• 2:32
  Speaker 1: a person.
• 2:32
  Speaker 3: Well, I've been wanting to have you here for years,
• 2:34
  Speaker 3: but you know, space and time and all these things
• 2:38
  Speaker 3: get in.
• 2:38
  Speaker 1: The way, all those continuums. I always say that. Yes, Well, anyway,
• 2:41
  Speaker 1: I was coming here from New York, where I was
• 2:44
  Speaker 1: there for work, and I was at the airport and
• 2:47
  Speaker 1: actually this was in DC, so you know there was
• 2:49
  Speaker 1: like a different clientele in DC. I had a connection
• 2:51
  Speaker 1: right right, And I'm in line for United Airlines Group one.
• 2:55
  Speaker 1: Not to brag, I'm no Delta, I'm no Delta.
• 2:58
  Speaker 3: Col I'm a United Airlines Section seven. Usually are you ismile?
• 3:03
  Speaker 1: What's your airline?
• 3:05
  Speaker 3: Literally? Any airline is that right? And I always ended
• 3:08
  Speaker 3: up in either what section F or Section eight? So
• 3:12
  Speaker 3: it's a tough uh, It's it's hard being me.
• 3:15
  Speaker 1: That does suck for you. I'm not gonna lie because
• 3:17
  Speaker 1: the truth is I used to be like you, always
• 3:19
  Speaker 1: like cheapest flight, done, done done, and then I made
• 3:22
  Speaker 1: a decision I'm going to commit to one airline. It
• 3:24
  Speaker 1: has backfired many times, but I will tell you that
• 3:28
  Speaker 1: the Group one boarding it does. I get stressed about
• 3:33
  Speaker 1: things that haven't happened, so like boarding with a bunch
• 3:35
  Speaker 1: of people, getting a bag space, all these things will
• 3:38
  Speaker 1: keep me up at night the night before.
• 3:39
  Speaker 3: Right, of course, I'm nuts. No, I think that that's
• 3:42
  Speaker 3: totally rational. Okay, when I'm standing in line, I'm already
• 3:45
  Speaker 3: arguing with someone on the flight about well I need
• 3:47
  Speaker 3: to put my bag in the overhead storage. I will
• 3:50
  Speaker 3: not check the bag.
• 3:52
  Speaker 1: I check three bags and have overhead storage and an
• 3:55
  Speaker 1: under the seat unless I'm in the exit rodwhich how
• 3:57
  Speaker 1: are you alive? This is what I'd like to know.
• 4:00
  Speaker 1: Say to me, because you know I'm very buff. Sure,
• 4:02
  Speaker 1: it's wheeling. It's wheeling the bags. I don't go to
• 4:04
  Speaker 1: it in no yoga, nothing, And that's it.
• 4:06
  Speaker 3: Entirely travel and luggage.
• 4:07
  Speaker 1: Entirely Sam Sinai based. Yes. But anyway, So I was
• 4:11
  Speaker 1: waiting in group one. There was an elderly man in
• 4:13
  Speaker 1: front of me. Easiest way to describe the man in
• 4:16
  Speaker 1: front of me, and this is not meant in any
• 4:18
  Speaker 1: good or bad way. Like able bodied Stephen Hawking, he
• 4:21
  Speaker 1: was about ninety five.
• 4:22
  Speaker 3: Can I say that I have no idea to be
• 4:24
  Speaker 3: totally a same That's.
• 4:25
  Speaker 1: Why I'm confused. Leave it in anyway he was, but
• 4:28
  Speaker 1: exactly the same face, same age, right, but standing and anyway.
• 4:33
  Speaker 1: Behind us was a guy who had wrap around yellow
• 4:35
  Speaker 1: tinted sunglouda problem already a problem, possibly soul patch. Okay, oh,
• 4:43
  Speaker 1: younger wife or girlfriend. They call group one, mind you,
• 4:46
  Speaker 1: we are in line behind all the other ones. He walks,
• 4:49
  Speaker 1: not just around me, but around the old guy. I
• 4:53
  Speaker 1: big mouth. Go excuse me? I say to the old guy,
• 4:57
  Speaker 1: I go, are you group one? He goes, yes, I go,
• 4:59
  Speaker 1: me too, We're all in group. But also the assumption
• 5:02
  Speaker 1: that I, in my Asos bootcuts would not be in
• 5:06
  Speaker 1: group one. It offended me very deeply. I thought, I
• 5:09
  Speaker 1: mean I didn't have make sure you go to hell?
• 5:12
  Speaker 3: Count Dari. How did he respond?
• 5:13
  Speaker 1: Not well? And he got behind me and then me
• 5:15
  Speaker 1: and the old man. I said, the entitlement because you
• 5:18
  Speaker 1: have to always have to find a friend.
• 5:19
  Speaker 3: Oh yeah, of course, of course. Otherwise everyone feels like
• 5:23
  Speaker 3: everyone's looking at you, and it's just like, well, no,
• 5:25
  Speaker 3: we need everyone on my side.
• 5:26
  Speaker 2: Now.
• 5:27
  Speaker 3: Oh I'm a hero.
• 5:28
  Speaker 1: I'm the hero.
• 5:28
  Speaker 3: I know this was uncomfortable for everyone, but I'm the hero.
• 5:30
  Speaker 1: Now. That's how I feel. That is if there's a
• 5:33
  Speaker 1: word for that mental illness, maybe narcissism, I don't know,
• 5:36
  Speaker 1: I have it. And then he was like I know.
• 5:40
  Speaker 1: And then we ended up sitting next to each other,
• 5:41
  Speaker 1: me and the old man on the flight, and he
• 5:43
  Speaker 1: offered me the oldest mint in history from his pocket,
• 5:47
  Speaker 1: and I said, oh, I'm okay. And then he really
• 5:48
  Speaker 1: wanted to talk to me, and it was my fault.
• 5:50
  Speaker 1: But I was so tired and then I kind of
• 5:52
  Speaker 1: was like, wait, I'm again. I'm the problem because I initiated,
• 5:55
  Speaker 1: I broke. You created this whole world for yourself and him. Anyway,
• 5:59
  Speaker 1: the point is is that I like to stand up
• 6:00
  Speaker 1: for myself. I have hundreds of stories every day like that.
• 6:02
  Speaker 3: I need to be better at it. But you know,
• 6:04
  Speaker 3: yesterday it was like, well this just led to nothing.
• 6:06
  Speaker 3: They already got to buy their thing. It's not like
• 6:08
  Speaker 3: they got behind me.
• 6:09
  Speaker 1: They didn't get behind you.
• 6:10
  Speaker 3: No, they were done with their transaction.
• 6:13
  Speaker 1: Where were you?
• 6:14
  Speaker 3: It was a place called Lemon Poppy Kitchen LPKI got
• 6:17
  Speaker 3: in front of you shut a healthy California.
• 6:23
  Speaker 1: Poppy kitchen call. I can't believe it.
• 6:27
  Speaker 3: Wonderful restaurant, usually a wonderful clientele. Wow, I will say.
• 6:32
  Speaker 3: My friends and I sat down to eat and we
• 6:34
  Speaker 3: watched as they Later on, they caught my eye, these
• 6:37
  Speaker 3: people who had butt in front of me. They were
• 6:39
  Speaker 3: getting into their car. It was not only like a
• 6:41
  Speaker 3: Tesla suv. It was with the doors that go up,
• 6:44
  Speaker 3: and I thought, okay, well I'm vindicated.
• 6:46
  Speaker 1: They told the DeLorean Tesla. You know with the moment
• 6:48
  Speaker 1: you said, getting into their car, it used to be
• 6:50
  Speaker 1: BMW might go to a whole carr and I said,
• 6:54
  Speaker 1: it's going to be a Tesla with the wings.
• 6:55
  Speaker 3: I'm in shock with the wings. You know, a lot
• 6:57
  Speaker 3: of normal people are now driving Tesla's, but the wings
• 7:00
  Speaker 3: come into play. There's a select group and they had
• 7:03
  Speaker 3: a license plate that said, and so I feel bad
• 7:08
  Speaker 3: even drawing this musical group into it, because it's not
• 7:11
  Speaker 3: their fault.
• 7:12
  Speaker 1: Do you know this?
• 7:13
  Speaker 3: Of course they're perfectly good, But like these people that
• 7:17
  Speaker 3: they decided that's their license plate. I mean everything about
• 7:20
  Speaker 3: it was such a perfectly tied bow for me. And
• 7:22
  Speaker 3: it's just like good for me for clearing my throat.
• 7:25
  Speaker 1: Yes, their minds have been rotted by ecstasy. I've decided.
• 7:28
  Speaker 1: These are people who have been rotted, disemboweled by drug usage.
• 7:34
  Speaker 1: And they can't even see lines. They don't even know
• 7:37
  Speaker 1: what a line is anymore except a very specific kind.
• 7:40
  Speaker 3: They swerved out of the parking lot and out of
• 7:41
  Speaker 3: my life. Yes, you know, maybe I should learn the
• 7:45
  Speaker 3: right lesson from this. And it was okay for me
• 7:47
  Speaker 3: to stand up.
• 7:48
  Speaker 1: I think it's fine for you. I listen. I'm all
• 7:50
  Speaker 1: for people standing up when it's right, and I want
• 7:52
  Speaker 1: you to know I've done wrong things people have set
• 7:54
  Speaker 1: up to me and I bowed out tail between legs.
• 7:57
  Speaker 1: I also know when.
• 7:58
  Speaker 3: To wow is do you have Is there any pushback
• 8:01
  Speaker 3: from you when the person first approaches with your error?
• 8:05
  Speaker 3: So like, because I feel like that's my natural thing
• 8:07
  Speaker 3: of like, oh, well, I didn't do anything wrong, but
• 8:09
  Speaker 3: naturally i've you know, you've done something wrong.
• 8:11
  Speaker 1: Like I feel like I've accidentally gotten in front of
• 8:13
  Speaker 1: someone in a line. You know, oftentimes it's like a
• 8:15
  Speaker 1: mess of a line. You don't realize right, and then
• 8:17
  Speaker 1: when there's a look thrown, I go, oh my gosh,
• 8:20
  Speaker 1: were you in line? And then I retreat. I mean,
• 8:23
  Speaker 1: I'm the first one. I'll go to the very back
• 8:25
  Speaker 1: of the line, like I have good person.
• 8:28
  Speaker 3: Yes, I'm off to jail.
• 8:30
  Speaker 1: I'm gonna actually just lock myself into I go to
• 8:33
  Speaker 1: Tesla and no ac lock the windows, facemash the window.
• 8:35
  Speaker 1: It's fine. I don't mind.
• 8:37
  Speaker 3: Do you have a lot of problems on planes in general?
• 8:39
  Speaker 3: Because you travel a lot more than I do, and
• 8:41
  Speaker 3: I feel like I travel not that often and I
• 8:43
  Speaker 3: run into at least one situation on every flight.
• 8:47
  Speaker 1: Not too many problems.
• 8:49
  Speaker 3: Honestly, no, I think I just have problems with people
• 8:51
  Speaker 3: in general.
• 8:52
  Speaker 1: I don't see that for you. I could see that
• 8:53
  Speaker 1: for me because I'm very like you know, I'm painting
• 8:56
  Speaker 1: myself to be the worst human alife. I'm also in
• 8:58
  Speaker 1: a weird place today, so of all days to be
• 9:00
  Speaker 1: talking about myself. But you seem so easy going. I
• 9:02
  Speaker 1: can't see it.
• 9:03
  Speaker 3: I love that I'm projecting anything close to that image
• 9:07
  Speaker 3: to me.
• 9:07
  Speaker 1: Yeah, you're not. What's your sign? Don't don't kill me
• 9:11
  Speaker 1: for asking?
• 9:11
  Speaker 3: Can you guess? Try to get virgo. I'm a Libra Libra,
• 9:15
  Speaker 3: that's my moon. What does that mean for me?
• 9:18
  Speaker 1: Oh no, no, okay, I don't know. I'm a cancer at
• 9:21
  Speaker 1: the Libra moons. All I know is that I should
• 9:23
  Speaker 1: be sobbing at another moment.
• 9:24
  Speaker 3: Okay, And I feel like that's kind of what I
• 9:27
  Speaker 3: should be sobbing at every moment of every day.
• 9:29
  Speaker 1: I want to ask you a quick question. Do you
• 9:30
  Speaker 1: have diagnosed or self diagnosed ADHD?
• 9:34
  Speaker 3: Okay? This is a very good question because the listeners
• 9:37
  Speaker 3: are starting to ask.
• 9:38
  Speaker 1: Okay.
• 9:39
  Speaker 3: Some listeners have reached out and been like, it sounds
• 9:41
  Speaker 3: like you might have ADHD and then, uh, what I
• 9:44
  Speaker 3: did with that information was just talk about it on
• 9:46
  Speaker 3: the podcast and then did no research. I like, I've
• 9:51
  Speaker 3: looked or I've heard that, like when you think you
• 9:54
  Speaker 3: have ADHD, you just go to your GP or whatever
• 9:56
  Speaker 3: and they just they ask you that list of questions
• 9:59
  Speaker 3: that's like are you easily distracted? And well, it's hard
• 10:02
  Speaker 3: for me to say. I'm I don't have anybody else's viewpoints,
• 10:06
  Speaker 3: so I'm like, sure, yeah, I'm easily distracted, but it
• 10:08
  Speaker 3: might just be a normal person. So I'm not sure
• 10:10
  Speaker 3: how to actually drill down and see if I actually
• 10:14
  Speaker 3: have ADHD.
• 10:15
  Speaker 1: Well, I don't take medication really for it, but I
• 10:18
  Speaker 1: know also not diagnosed professionally. But I just it's like take, take, take,
• 10:22
  Speaker 1: whenever I take those quizzes. Can you fill a form
• 10:24
  Speaker 1: out with no problem with ease? Like what sort of
• 10:28
  Speaker 1: form for example, if you need to get to your
• 10:30
  Speaker 1: passport renewed like things like that, Right.
• 10:31
  Speaker 3: I feel like I can fill out that sort of form. Yeah,
• 10:34
  Speaker 3: but I feel like, you know, I'll sit down to
• 10:37
  Speaker 3: do something and then I mean suddenly there are nine
• 10:41
  Speaker 3: other things I've gotten done before the initial task, and
• 10:43
  Speaker 3: I can't remember what listeners were like, Bridge, that sounds
• 10:46
  Speaker 3: like you have ADHD. What like the symptom was, But
• 10:51
  Speaker 3: more and more I feel like maybe I should look
• 10:54
  Speaker 3: into it. But then I'm on medication, which is not
• 10:56
  Speaker 3: a problem.
• 10:57
  Speaker 1: But are you on ADHD medica?
• 10:59
  Speaker 3: No? I'm like, what does that do? In general?
• 11:04
  Speaker 1: Car would know it's gonna make you focus lock in,
• 11:07
  Speaker 1: which is what I need. I mean, people always like,
• 11:09
  Speaker 1: write a book. I go, I can't. Even I can
• 11:11
  Speaker 1: write a blog post if that makes sense. I can
• 11:13
  Speaker 1: write something if I know that day it's going out
• 11:15
  Speaker 1: there us. But you're gonna tell me to write into
• 11:18
  Speaker 1: this vacuum of time.
• 11:19
  Speaker 3: See that's my problem. Yeah, if I'm up against a
• 11:22
  Speaker 3: very close deadline, sure of course I'm going to do it.
• 11:25
  Speaker 3: What other choice do I have?
• 11:27
  Speaker 1: And it'll be great.
• 11:28
  Speaker 3: But if it's months away, well I have I need
• 11:31
  Speaker 3: to mop the counter. It's well slop the counter, so
• 11:35
  Speaker 3: I must have ADHD. If I'm moping counter, you're to
• 11:38
  Speaker 3: mob the counter. No, it's it is hot slop. If
• 11:42
  Speaker 3: I have months to work on something, I'm just like,
• 11:44
  Speaker 3: who cares about this? Do you leave piles of things
• 11:46
  Speaker 3: around your house? Or you seem I'm gonna say this,
• 11:49
  Speaker 3: and this may be a stereotype. You do seem neat.
• 11:51
  Speaker 3: I am neat. I will say I'm neat. My siblings
• 11:55
  Speaker 3: neither are four of us. There are two that are
• 11:57
  Speaker 3: not neat, and then my other brother and I are
• 11:59
  Speaker 3: very very neat people. So but I don't know, there's
• 12:05
  Speaker 3: a bit of ADHD that runs in the family because.
• 12:07
  Speaker 1: The neatness goes against the ADHD rain. Like I can
• 12:11
  Speaker 1: be I'm neat with food. I don't like having plates
• 12:13
  Speaker 1: out like anything in the fridge. I like keeping it
• 12:16
  Speaker 1: or everything out right. And I'm not a hoarder, not
• 12:18
  Speaker 1: to rag, but I will toss, I'll donate, get it
• 12:20
  Speaker 1: out of the house. I also bring a lot of
• 12:22
  Speaker 1: stuff in, okay, And when, for example, let's say I'm
• 12:25
  Speaker 1: running late for dinner, I come home, there's a pile
• 12:29
  Speaker 1: of makeup, there's a pile of my clothes. Interesting, and
• 12:32
  Speaker 1: then I'm like, oh, that pile is there. Okay, So
• 12:34
  Speaker 1: if you open up a drawer, perhaps it'll be like
• 12:36
  Speaker 1: I'll know it's in there, but it will not be
• 12:39
  Speaker 1: container stored into something nice.
• 12:40
  Speaker 3: It'll be a little bit I mean you, I have
• 12:43
  Speaker 3: what is known in my home as the napkin drawer,
• 12:45
  Speaker 3: and if you saw this thing, you might be able
• 12:47
  Speaker 3: to diagnose fifty mental illnesses because this is a disaster
• 12:53
  Speaker 3: in a way that's I can't defend myself in any
• 12:57
  Speaker 3: possible way. It's just take out now cans when they're
• 13:01
  Speaker 3: not used. I throw them in the drawer.
• 13:03
  Speaker 1: I like that. I do that sometimes, but I do
• 13:04
  Speaker 1: it in the fork and knife drawer in the corner. Okay,
• 13:07
  Speaker 1: the Jersey Mikes, you'll see. It's almost like.
• 13:09
  Speaker 3: I've got Jersey Mike napkins.
• 13:11
  Speaker 1: So you're getting bad. Those are some good ones. You
• 13:13
  Speaker 1: can peel them away and just see, Like if I've
• 13:16
  Speaker 1: gained weight, you'll know from the napkin drawer your life.
• 13:19
  Speaker 1: So this fish is eating Yeah, truly, it's like the
• 13:22
  Speaker 1: rings on a tree, except it's like on my thigh.
• 13:24
  Speaker 1: They're like, oh. The reason really why I ask about
• 13:27
  Speaker 1: the ADHD is because this and I've talked about this
• 13:30
  Speaker 1: on my Patreon show plug get over There, thank You,
• 13:33
  Speaker 1: which is justice sensitivity, and it's something that I could
• 13:37
  Speaker 1: never put into words why I was the way I was.
• 13:40
  Speaker 1: I'm not only like that with myself. If I see
• 13:42
  Speaker 1: other people being treated unfairly, especially people who are you know,
• 13:47
  Speaker 1: need maybe someone to stick up for them or whatever. Right,
• 13:50
  Speaker 1: I am the FIRS. I love to step in. I
• 13:52
  Speaker 1: will involve myself interest. And I learned within the past
• 13:55
  Speaker 1: six months something called justice sensitivity that people with ADHD
• 13:59
  Speaker 1: have where if they feel for themselves or someone else
• 14:01
  Speaker 1: that something is unjust. It keeps me up at night.
• 14:04
  Speaker 1: And that's really true. So someone skipping in line, I'm interesting, yeah,
• 14:08
  Speaker 1: and I can remember times when people have skipped me
• 14:11
  Speaker 1: in line. One woman who was on the phone and
• 14:13
  Speaker 1: I was like, excuse me. I was in a foreign
• 14:14
  Speaker 1: country as well, so she's in Italy whatever, and I said,
• 14:17
  Speaker 1: you know, I'm standing here and she was like, I'm
• 14:20
  Speaker 1: with him to some guy in front of her. It
• 14:22
  Speaker 1: was actually clever, and I was like, you're not with him.
• 14:25
  Speaker 1: I know you're not with him. You're on the phone.
• 14:27
  Speaker 1: And she ordered in front of me, and I thought
• 14:29
  Speaker 1: the Charles de gall This woman food so rude. And
• 14:34
  Speaker 1: then I was with someone who was like, just let
• 14:36
  Speaker 1: it go, and I was like, I can't let it go.
• 14:38
  Speaker 1: Like she got me, I.
• 14:40
  Speaker 3: Do okay, I do that. I mean, I don't act
• 14:42
  Speaker 3: on it. I don't do anything to rectify the situation.
• 14:45
  Speaker 3: But yeah, that sort of thing will just ring around
• 14:47
  Speaker 3: in my head for weeks.
• 14:48
  Speaker 1: Yes, me too, it's crazy. Uh. Or if like you know,
• 14:52
  Speaker 1: but then again, if I've gotten great service in a store,
• 14:55
  Speaker 1: or if someone does a solid for me in a store,
• 14:57
  Speaker 1: maybe a coop on whatever, I don't even wait till
• 14:59
  Speaker 1: like to the car to leave a five star Google review.
• 15:02
  Speaker 3: Oh you're leaving reviews.
• 15:03
  Speaker 1: Oh. I constantly boost people too, because I'm like, it's right.
• 15:07
  Speaker 1: You gotta go both ways. You can't just complain. You
• 15:09
  Speaker 1: also have to give right. I'll skan QR codes. I
• 15:12
  Speaker 1: bought a watch recently. It is a Swatch. I have
• 15:15
  Speaker 1: a theory they're coming back. I don't really want to
• 15:16
  Speaker 1: talk about it, but I gotta swatch skin. Irony at
• 15:21
  Speaker 1: the outlets in New York, Okay, had the best experience there.
• 15:24
  Speaker 1: These other people were debating a watch. They were with
• 15:26
  Speaker 1: a different sales lead who also seem nice. I was like,
• 15:28
  Speaker 1: you gotta buy the watch and you gotta leave a review,
• 15:30
  Speaker 1: and they bought it and left. We were all there
• 15:32
  Speaker 1: leaving reviews like, oh.
• 15:34
  Speaker 3: I will leave a review if I'm asked by the establishment,
• 15:37
  Speaker 3: or if I really love the place but it's under
• 15:40
  Speaker 3: a secret name, and I will also complain. I mean,
• 15:43
  Speaker 3: but it has to be really true in justice. If
• 15:45
  Speaker 3: I'm going to complain, oh me too. I lightly try
• 15:48
  Speaker 3: not to. I know, I have to know it goes,
• 15:49
  Speaker 3: the problem goes all the way to the top. It
• 15:52
  Speaker 3: can't be like, oh, the employee was me who cares.
• 15:54
  Speaker 3: A lot of employees are having bad days. But if
• 15:57
  Speaker 3: it feels like, oh, this is a company wide problem
• 16:00
  Speaker 3: or something, tip tap typing away, and I know it'll
• 16:05
  Speaker 3: make no difference.
• 16:06
  Speaker 1: But one of the bravest things we could ever do,
• 16:08
  Speaker 1: and I'm not suggesting we do it now, is swap
• 16:10
  Speaker 1: phones and read each other as one star Google reviews.
• 16:14
  Speaker 1: I think that would that would be for me at least,
• 16:18
  Speaker 1: it's so revelatory.
• 16:20
  Speaker 3: I would feel so naked.
• 16:22
  Speaker 1: Oh not comfortable with that, absolutely up and look and
• 16:27
  Speaker 1: just panic right here. I know we're recording.
• 16:29
  Speaker 3: I know I could tell you. I know the last
• 16:32
  Speaker 3: place I left a one star review, and it feels
• 16:34
  Speaker 3: like the community is coming together to leave a lot
• 16:36
  Speaker 3: of one star reviews for this particular restaurant that moved
• 16:38
  Speaker 3: in and it feels good to be part of the team.
• 16:41
  Speaker 3: That's like, no, you're not going to move in and
• 16:44
  Speaker 3: charge that much for a hamburger.
• 16:45
  Speaker 1: Wait, which restaurant is it?
• 16:46
  Speaker 3: I won't say it here here in la obviously it's here.
• 16:50
  Speaker 3: It's in Highland Park and it was new ownership and
• 16:53
  Speaker 3: they just kind of flipped the business model and suddenly
• 16:56
  Speaker 3: the neighborhood was just burning them down in a way
• 16:59
  Speaker 3: that is calmuck. So I think that was the last
• 17:01
  Speaker 3: time I left your review. And it felt good.
• 17:03
  Speaker 1: Sometimes it does. I hate to say it.
• 17:05
  Speaker 3: Yeah, it's a little revenge, a little something.
• 17:08
  Speaker 1: It feels better to be nice, right, everybody in this
• 17:10
  Speaker 1: day and age, it's nice to be a little nice.
• 17:12
  Speaker 1: Try it. It's it makes you feel good.
• 17:14
  Speaker 3: It really does feel better to be nice.
• 17:17
  Speaker 1: Compliment people.
• 17:17
  Speaker 3: But when do you get an opportunity I talk to everybody.
• 17:20
  Speaker 1: I'm really and I'm I'm middle aged now, but I
• 17:23
  Speaker 1: know that in ten twenty years, when I officially amountedly,
• 17:26
  Speaker 1: it's going to be a problem. I already know.
• 17:27
  Speaker 3: I'm I know you're just like chatting up strangers.
• 17:30
  Speaker 1: God, so I talk.
• 17:32
  Speaker 3: Oh I wish I wish I had that ability.
• 17:36
  Speaker 1: You know, it's funny when people do it to me.
• 17:38
  Speaker 1: I hate it. Isn't that interesting? I go crazy I'm like,
• 17:40
  Speaker 1: don't like. If someone's like, oh I like that shirt,
• 17:43
  Speaker 1: I'm like, uh, cucko, Like, don't want to talk to them.
• 17:46
  Speaker 1: But when I do it, I'm like, this is great.
• 17:49
  Speaker 1: They're a loving mess.
• 17:51
  Speaker 3: I think that's I can see that.
• 17:53
  Speaker 1: Actually, I mean I'm nuts anyway, what else? What else
• 17:57
  Speaker 1: is going on?
• 17:58
  Speaker 3: Well, I feel like there's I'll tell you something. It's
• 18:00
  Speaker 3: going on. It's not something I want to talk about.
• 18:01
  Speaker 3: It's not something I'm comfortable with. Michelle. I was excited
• 18:05
  Speaker 3: to have you here on the podcast today. You know,
• 18:07
  Speaker 3: it's been years in the works. I thought we'll have
• 18:10
  Speaker 3: a wonderful time. It'll feel like this reunion, and then
• 18:13
  Speaker 3: we'll go on with our lives. The podcast is called
• 18:17
  Speaker 3: I said no gifts. Yes, we came to an agreement
• 18:21
  Speaker 3: that you'd be on the show, and I thought you
• 18:23
  Speaker 3: would play by the rules. I thought you would have
• 18:25
  Speaker 3: some level of dignity when you came on, and then
• 18:28
  Speaker 3: that was all kind of wiped out when you walked
• 18:31
  Speaker 3: into the studio holding what could not more clearly be
• 18:35
  Speaker 3: a gift? Is it a gift for me?
• 18:37
  Speaker 1: It is? Okay?
• 18:39
  Speaker 3: Instead of gorgeous purple bag? Should we open it?
• 18:41
  Speaker 1: Here?
• 18:41
  Speaker 3: On the podcast.
• 18:42
  Speaker 1: Yes, but the bag in itself is part of the gift.
• 18:45
  Speaker 3: Well, let's take a look at this.
• 18:49
  Speaker 1: I didn't even know that this was like a thing,
• 18:51
  Speaker 1: but it is in a Runway Tjmax. Stopping back now
• 18:55
  Speaker 1: before you open it. There's two things in here. One
• 18:59
  Speaker 1: is they're the same thing, different sizes. One is mine.
• 19:03
  Speaker 1: But that's why it's part of the story.
• 19:05
  Speaker 3: It's part of the sts.
• 19:07
  Speaker 1: I got us matching leotards and we're going to.
• 19:10
  Speaker 3: So chy what a t would make me?
• 19:17
  Speaker 1: Forget it, kid, I'd be tossing you into the stands.
• 19:19
  Speaker 1: People wouldn't know what to do with themselves.
• 19:24
  Speaker 3: Wait, so Runway, is this a new store?
• 19:26
  Speaker 1: Okay, so no, so listen, there are certain it's actually
• 19:29
  Speaker 1: all part of the story. I didn't even make really
• 19:31
  Speaker 1: all the connections. It's all connected.
• 19:32
  Speaker 3: Okay, everything is well, that's very true.
• 19:35
  Speaker 1: I pass out. So TJ Max has a designer faction.
• 19:39
  Speaker 3: Okay, offshoot, one.
• 19:41
  Speaker 1: Might even say, yes, move it from your beautiful face. Uh,
• 19:44
  Speaker 1: that they only have in certain stores, usually in sort
• 19:46
  Speaker 1: of well to do well healed neighborhood called Runway where
• 19:50
  Speaker 1: they get designer things. In Europe where I lived for
• 19:53
  Speaker 1: a couple of years. Amazingly, they call it t Kmax
• 19:56
  Speaker 1: because England had a store called TJ's. Oh, they weren't
• 20:01
  Speaker 1: allowed to call a TG, so they just said t
• 20:03
  Speaker 1: K because it's next to it on the keyboard. That's
• 20:05
  Speaker 1: the only reason.
• 20:06
  Speaker 3: What does TJ stand for?
• 20:07
  Speaker 4: Do we know?
• 20:09
  Speaker 1: I can't my mind when some are dark, and I won't.
• 20:12
  Speaker 3: Be able to say it on a least look into
• 20:13
  Speaker 3: that they.
• 20:14
  Speaker 1: Must stand for, like THEO James from Down to Abbey?
• 20:17
  Speaker 1: Who would it stand for? Tommy Lee Jones?
• 20:19
  Speaker 3: T LJ Max A TJ Max? Okay, it was called TK.
• 20:22
  Speaker 1: T K Max in Europe and I lived in Amsterdam
• 20:24
  Speaker 1: and they would get stuff from pradam Um. I mean
• 20:26
  Speaker 1: they would get like I am bringing mellow cucinelli. However
• 20:29
  Speaker 1: you say it here they get that too sometimes. But
• 20:31
  Speaker 1: here in LA they have a lot of Runway Max stores,
• 20:35
  Speaker 1: and in Miami, which is where I'm from. When I
• 20:38
  Speaker 1: was home in Miami a couple of weeks ago, I
• 20:41
  Speaker 1: found a sweater at the Runway Max in Boca Raton, Florida.
• 20:47
  Speaker 3: Have you been I haven't been to Boca Raton. I
• 20:49
  Speaker 3: love saying it though.
• 20:50
  Speaker 1: It is mellifluously it's such a beautiful word to say.
• 20:53
  Speaker 1: It's two words, really, But they have a fantastic runway
• 20:57
  Speaker 1: Max in Boca. No I should.
• 20:58
  Speaker 3: We got to get into the Boca.
• 21:01
  Speaker 1: There's two really good ones. And this is like hot tea.
• 21:03
  Speaker 1: As they say hot TJ. I'm spelling the hot DJ
• 21:06
  Speaker 1: Boca and West Palm Beach has a t came our
• 21:09
  Speaker 1: TJ Max runway. Mind blowing. That one is really untouched. Okay,
• 21:14
  Speaker 1: so I go. I find literally the most beautiful fitting
• 21:17
  Speaker 1: sweater I've ever found in my life. Okay, it is
• 21:20
  Speaker 1: like and I'm tall, I'm six to one. The sleeves
• 21:23
  Speaker 1: are below the hand. I look like Ariana Grande. I
• 21:25
  Speaker 1: never had a sweater be so perfectly proportioned on my body.
• 21:30
  Speaker 3: I run into similar problems.
• 21:31
  Speaker 1: I believe that actually, yes, and it's when you find
• 21:33
  Speaker 1: that thing, Oh.
• 21:35
  Speaker 3: It feels like, oh maybe I am meant for this world.
• 21:38
  Speaker 1: I'm yes, I'm telling you that. I talk about this
• 21:42
  Speaker 1: fore because also big feet. I'm an eleven. There are
• 21:44
  Speaker 1: a lot of women who are elevens, and we're painted
• 21:46
  Speaker 1: to be some kind of freak. I don't think we are.
• 21:48
  Speaker 1: It's two millimeters bigger than a size nine I mean,
• 21:50
  Speaker 1: it's not a big deal.
• 21:51
  Speaker 3: What is that in Men's like a nine, a US nine,
• 21:54
  Speaker 3: and I think I'm a nine and my foot's not big.
• 21:56
  Speaker 1: That's what I'm saying.
• 21:57
  Speaker 3: Okay, so where's my camera?
• 22:00
  Speaker 1: Listen? I like, storm out, I rip the mic out
• 22:02
  Speaker 1: of its.
• 22:04
  Speaker 3: Who lives?
• 22:06
  Speaker 1: My head hits the light. I'm like, I have to
• 22:08
  Speaker 1: get out of your ie. Feel dropped? Anyway? I I
• 22:12
  Speaker 1: hope I have two hours of the story. Okay, please, Okay?
• 22:15
  Speaker 1: So I buy this sweater. It's from Helmut's lang Oh
• 22:18
  Speaker 1: German designer. Not familiar, are you not very austere? I
• 22:22
  Speaker 1: would say almost like poor man's Jill Sander a little
• 22:25
  Speaker 1: bit cheaper, certain, because Jill's expensive. Anyway, get the sweater,
• 22:28
  Speaker 1: take it back to New York. I'm like, this is
• 22:31
  Speaker 1: my sweater of the winter, like Song of the Summer
• 22:33
  Speaker 1: is my sweater the winter. I go to leave my
• 22:37
  Speaker 1: apartment that I'm staying in a it's a sublet in
• 22:41
  Speaker 1: New York to catch my flight to come here to
• 22:43
  Speaker 1: laure and I think, which sweater am I going to bring?
• 22:46
  Speaker 1: I gotta bring my sweater the summer winter?
• 22:48
  Speaker 3: You need this coast needs to see.
• 22:49
  Speaker 1: It exactly it was my debut in this sweater. Yes,
• 22:56
  Speaker 1: and also I like to usually look good at the airport.
• 22:58
  Speaker 1: I guarantee you that I like to look go to
• 23:00
  Speaker 1: the airport. I like to dress.
• 23:02
  Speaker 3: I recently gave up on that.
• 23:03
  Speaker 1: You know what, I do find it makes the travel
• 23:06
  Speaker 1: day better. I don't know how else to explain it.
• 23:08
  Speaker 1: I usually like I didn't have makeup on that day
• 23:10
  Speaker 1: because I had an early fight, But I usually like
• 23:11
  Speaker 1: to go with makeup, and I just I feel better.
• 23:13
  Speaker 1: You never know who'll sit next.
• 23:14
  Speaker 3: To you, right, That's true Future Today's Show story.
• 23:17
  Speaker 1: Yeah, okay, go I run downstairs. I'm gonna two story
• 23:21
  Speaker 1: walk up with my big ass seventy pounds saands tonight. Right,
• 23:25
  Speaker 1: so of course my weekend dry put the sweater on
• 23:27
  Speaker 1: top kills me and my carry on that has all
• 23:29
  Speaker 1: my equipment and everything. I go down to the Uber.
• 23:32
  Speaker 1: I load up the Uber like, uh, I don't know
• 23:36
  Speaker 1: where I thought it. I loaded the Uber truly like
• 23:39
  Speaker 1: a union member. I mean, I'm just like, all right, Chollie,
• 23:42
  Speaker 1: back it up like I'm just in it. I'm in it.
• 23:44
  Speaker 1: We get in the car. He starts driving away. Halfway
• 23:48
  Speaker 1: to the airport, I realized my sweater fell out of
• 23:50
  Speaker 1: my bag. You knew it was going there. I didn't.
• 23:52
  Speaker 3: I didn't think fall out of your bank in the apartment, or.
• 23:55
  Speaker 1: I believe I'm almost one thousand. Listen, if I get
• 23:58
  Speaker 1: back to the apartment and it's in that apartment, I'm
• 24:00
  Speaker 1: going to like in shawshank faults in the rain, tears, tears.
• 24:04
  Speaker 1: I'm ninety percent sure. Let's call it ninety five that
• 24:07
  Speaker 1: it fell out when I was loading the bag in
• 24:09
  Speaker 1: because I had it all tucked up and I was like, ready,
• 24:11
  Speaker 1: you know, so what have I done while here? So
• 24:14
  Speaker 1: first of all, now this gets to your gift.
• 24:16
  Speaker 3: Okay, should we open it?
• 24:19
  Speaker 1: Yes? Should I? Should? I set it up before you
• 24:21
  Speaker 1: open it up? The setup is now. I go to
• 24:24
  Speaker 1: the airport. A girl has to be cozy on the plane.
• 24:26
  Speaker 1: I also sit in the exit seat by the door.
• 24:28
  Speaker 1: There's cracks. Okay, I'm the first one to get sucked out.
• 24:33
  Speaker 3: You feel the breeze, you do? You? It is colder
• 24:38
  Speaker 3: by the scary it is I'm telling here, you feel
• 24:41
  Speaker 3: that get.
• 24:42
  Speaker 1: Not in United not in those seven So I have
• 24:47
  Speaker 1: to buy a sweatshirt of pork?
• 24:49
  Speaker 3: And which store do you turn to?
• 24:51
  Speaker 1: Well, folks, there's only one store, the Nemans of Newark
• 24:56
  Speaker 1: Hudson News. Maybe you've heard of it.
• 24:58
  Speaker 3: Now.
• 24:59
  Speaker 1: This is in Terminal A, which is actually nice New
• 25:00
  Speaker 1: Wark Terournal. I'm a big defender of Newark Airport, but
• 25:04
  Speaker 1: anyone who's flown in the past year or two knows
• 25:07
  Speaker 1: that they have very specific sweatshirts now in every city.
• 25:10
  Speaker 1: Now you can open up your get into this. It's
• 25:12
  Speaker 1: the top one because there's to.
• 25:16
  Speaker 3: You.
• 25:17
  Speaker 1: Yes, it's about opening.
• 25:19
  Speaker 3: Oh yeah, okay, okay, I mean, first of all, I
• 25:21
  Speaker 3: just want to comment. This is a sweatshirt and it's
• 25:23
  Speaker 3: so soft.
• 25:24
  Speaker 1: Okay, this is part of a story.
• 25:26
  Speaker 3: It's just crazy.
• 25:26
  Speaker 1: Here we go.
• 25:27
  Speaker 3: Ready, we're opening gorgeous New Jersey sweat like this. I
• 25:33
  Speaker 3: know you what, it's tasteful.
• 25:35
  Speaker 1: Wait, I agree.
• 25:36
  Speaker 3: My boyfriend's from New Jersey.
• 25:37
  Speaker 1: Are you joking? No, I'm actually not even being funny.
• 25:40
  Speaker 1: This whole thing was meant to bring you that sweatshirt.
• 25:42
  Speaker 3: I know.
• 25:42
  Speaker 1: I'm I'm an agnostic, but I believe in God when
• 25:45
  Speaker 1: things like this happen.
• 25:46
  Speaker 3: The problem is he's Italian and he's from New Jersey.
• 25:48
  Speaker 3: I'm famously anti both.
• 25:51
  Speaker 1: Huge mistake. I'm very pro both I'm very pro New Jersey.
• 25:55
  Speaker 1: I am a big Jersey to New Jersey my one
• 25:57
  Speaker 1: of my favorite states in the United States. Wait to look.
• 26:00
  Speaker 1: I hope it fits. It's a medium or large. I
• 26:01
  Speaker 1: didn't know. I got myself put it on.
• 26:02
  Speaker 3: I'll put it on for until I get hot.
• 26:04
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I got myself the two XL. Does your boyfriend
• 26:06
  Speaker 1: want this one? No?
• 26:08
  Speaker 3: You want it? You don't connect us that sweet?
• 26:10
  Speaker 1: Okay two?
• 26:11
  Speaker 3: It actually gay men cannot have matching anything.
• 26:14
  Speaker 1: Well, then I should give it back because I mean
• 26:15
  Speaker 1: at this point, but you don't think this is kind
• 26:17
  Speaker 1: of cute.
• 26:18
  Speaker 3: I really and it feels soft. I can't believe it.
• 26:20
  Speaker 1: So here's the thing. Wait, it actually is so cute
• 26:23
  Speaker 1: on you. I have to get out of the studio.
• 26:24
  Speaker 1: I feel trapped. I feel trapped. Wait no, I'm sorry, producers,
• 26:28
  Speaker 1: no britchet.
• 26:29
  Speaker 3: Let me get a look on give you.
• 26:31
  Speaker 1: I'm like attracted to you in it. I'm not being funny.
• 26:33
  Speaker 1: I feel scared. Well look like wait, stop, I feel crazy.
• 26:38
  Speaker 1: You look like you're about to, like say, in a
• 26:41
  Speaker 1: frat house, and I'm very into it.
• 26:43
  Speaker 3: This is a good sweater and it's my color, it's
• 26:46
  Speaker 3: your color.
• 26:46
  Speaker 1: So here's the thing. So they had this one. They
• 26:48
  Speaker 1: had like navy with white stripes. But I have been
• 26:50
  Speaker 1: obsessed with these because it's I'll tell you how much
• 26:52
  Speaker 1: I paid, because it's part of it. How much do
• 26:54
  Speaker 1: you think I paid for these?
• 26:54
  Speaker 3: Okay, this is for two. I would say two sweatshirts
• 26:59
  Speaker 3: is probably a eighty dollars thirty.
• 27:01
  Speaker 1: Four ninety nine for two for two. That's stupid. Whoa,
• 27:06
  Speaker 1: this is what I'm saying. And hire me to influence,
• 27:10
  Speaker 1: to get all the people.
• 27:11
  Speaker 3: Yes, none of that makes any sense at all.
• 27:14
  Speaker 1: And it's embroidered, and yes it's literally.
• 27:16
  Speaker 3: It's not just printed all. Something's wrong at that airport.
• 27:21
  Speaker 3: They have a leak. They have a leak.
• 27:23
  Speaker 1: So then wait, so now I have to wear this.
• 27:25
  Speaker 1: Now it's adorable, and you on me it is hideous.
• 27:27
  Speaker 1: It what it is. It's not great. I mean I
• 27:30
  Speaker 1: also got a huge size. I just looked. I'm in jeans.
• 27:33
  Speaker 1: I just look by the time I got off the flight.
• 27:34
  Speaker 1: You know, I always say val Kilmer back from the beyond.
• 27:37
  Speaker 1: So anyway I get into LA, I'm wearing this. I
• 27:40
  Speaker 1: go to budget rent a car to get my shitty rental.
• 27:43
  Speaker 1: Even though I also love budget, I like things that
• 27:44
  Speaker 1: are like a little shitty. I never That's why I like,
• 27:46
  Speaker 1: you know.
• 27:46
  Speaker 3: A little texture.
• 27:48
  Speaker 1: Yeah, Like I don't want to go to like Alamo.
• 27:51
  Speaker 1: Give me Budget, give me a car with like some issues.
• 27:54
  Speaker 1: That's how I am so anywake it to Budget and
• 27:57
  Speaker 1: I walk in and the guy working there is he
• 28:00
  Speaker 1: would be a fan of yours, okay, if you know
• 28:02
  Speaker 1: what I'm saying. And he's like hello, and I go Hi.
• 28:05
  Speaker 1: I go as a joke because I always have to
• 28:06
  Speaker 1: be funny and I'm unbearable. I go, don't judge me.
• 28:09
  Speaker 1: I go. I was forced to buy this. I lost
• 28:11
  Speaker 1: my sweater. I go, do you like it? He went no,
• 28:15
  Speaker 1: I said you don't like it? And I was kind
• 28:17
  Speaker 1: of like setting him up, obviously, but I was like
• 28:19
  Speaker 1: you don't like it? He goes, it does nothing for
• 28:21
  Speaker 1: your figure, and I was like, you're right. He was
• 28:25
  Speaker 1: right anyway, but I will keep this also mine. Then smelled,
• 28:28
  Speaker 1: I don't know, mind smells like a little oily. You're
• 28:30
  Speaker 1: smelled good. I sniffed it.
• 28:32
  Speaker 3: It smells nice, fantastic. Actually really, Uh, I can lounge
• 28:37
  Speaker 3: around the house. Yeah, I wonder what sort of pants
• 28:40
  Speaker 3: I could combine this with. Probably jeans off.
• 28:42
  Speaker 1: White sweatpants if you really want to go there, jeans hot.
• 28:46
  Speaker 3: This is something I could wear to the airport too,
• 28:47
  Speaker 3: because I've recently gotten to like soft, comfortable things to
• 28:50
  Speaker 3: wear at the airport rather than you know, I'm someone
• 28:52
  Speaker 3: who wears their outfit for the day up until bedtime,
• 28:55
  Speaker 3: up until I'm going to get in bad. Is that right,
• 28:57
  Speaker 3: even while when I'm sitting watching TV, like I'm loosening
• 29:02
  Speaker 3: up a little bit. I've gotten a lot of flak
• 29:04
  Speaker 3: for like Bridger, you're at home and you're not going
• 29:05
  Speaker 3: anywhere else, Why wouldn't you put on sweatpants or something?
• 29:08
  Speaker 3: But for whatever reason, I needed to be fully dressed
• 29:11
  Speaker 3: until the absolute end of the day for up until
• 29:14
  Speaker 3: just recently. So the fact that I go to the
• 29:16
  Speaker 3: airport in you know, sweatpants is a real shock to
• 29:20
  Speaker 3: my lifestyle.
• 29:21
  Speaker 1: It's a growth pattern and I like it.
• 29:23
  Speaker 3: For you, yeah, it might be, you know, it's a
• 29:25
  Speaker 3: journey I might get back to, you know, head towards
• 29:27
  Speaker 3: like wearing a suit to the airport.
• 29:29
  Speaker 1: Well, listen, you know, this is my issue with Americans
• 29:32
  Speaker 1: in general, is that men here never wear suits. You
• 29:34
  Speaker 1: never see a man in a suit. You go to London.
• 29:37
  Speaker 1: All the men employed all have suits and nice ones,
• 29:41
  Speaker 1: not like Joseph A Banks like they look.
• 29:44
  Speaker 3: Right, they're really like, this is my uniform. I'm gonna
• 29:47
  Speaker 3: take care of it.
• 29:48
  Speaker 1: Yes, but I also think women should dress up to
• 29:50
  Speaker 1: I'm not only I think it's time we start dressing
• 29:53
  Speaker 1: up again. Wow.
• 29:54
  Speaker 3: I like to put myself together, but I don't like
• 29:57
  Speaker 3: to wear. I think because I grew up in a
• 29:59
  Speaker 3: church like a bristle at, wearing too much, dressing, too
• 30:03
  Speaker 3: much dress clothes.
• 30:04
  Speaker 1: I can understand that. I think I would have thrived
• 30:07
  Speaker 1: in a church setting, as far as.
• 30:08
  Speaker 3: It's not too late, Michelle, let's get you meat.
• 30:11
  Speaker 1: You know, by the way, all right, I'm done for anything.
• 30:16
  Speaker 1: I love a Catholic. I think if I were to convert,
• 30:18
  Speaker 1: I would convert to.
• 30:20
  Speaker 3: Knowing everything we know.
• 30:22
  Speaker 1: Sorry, I love it, bit of glitz.
• 30:26
  Speaker 3: I mean, if you do love Glamor, there's no other
• 30:28
  Speaker 3: religion for you.
• 30:29
  Speaker 1: Hello, are you kidding me? I love it. I love Italy,
• 30:32
  Speaker 1: I love Oh.
• 30:33
  Speaker 3: I like Ireland like I have no other religion. It's
• 30:36
  Speaker 3: doing what Catholicism is doing. As far as glam the
• 30:40
  Speaker 3: pope were red loafers.
• 30:41
  Speaker 1: You know that. I remember that. Oh my course you
• 30:44
  Speaker 1: could forget I mean forget a Prada. Oh I love it.
• 30:47
  Speaker 1: I love Italy so much. I was just there for
• 30:48
  Speaker 1: a wedding. You would have the best time in that
• 30:49
  Speaker 1: sweatsheart in the switch. I can't even tell you like
• 30:53
  Speaker 1: the fact that you like the sweatshirt. I'm not playing
• 30:55
  Speaker 1: this up for the show. This is what will make me.
• 30:58
  Speaker 1: This is going to get me through my day. My
• 31:00
  Speaker 1: question about wearing house clothes in the house. Yes see,
• 31:03
  Speaker 1: I'm not a germophobe, and actually I think that one
• 31:06
  Speaker 1: of the reasons why I do get sick. Obviously, but
• 31:09
  Speaker 1: like I've had an okay, you're knock on wood with
• 31:11
  Speaker 1: not getting a cold so far, like a real one,
• 31:14
  Speaker 1: verge vergin. Then I get better. But I like wear
• 31:17
  Speaker 1: my shoes in the house, like my dirty New York shoes.
• 31:20
  Speaker 1: Not always. I don't stomp her on the bed or anything.
• 31:22
  Speaker 1: But like I'll forget, I'll come in, I'll drop bags
• 31:24
  Speaker 1: off or like shopping bags that have been on the
• 31:26
  Speaker 1: floor will come into the house. I will not put
• 31:28
  Speaker 1: my purse on the ground. I have a big rule
• 31:30
  Speaker 1: about this. Bad luck.
• 31:31
  Speaker 3: Oh oh, I didn't know that. Well, that explains my entire.
• 31:33
  Speaker 1: Life money flies out. That's what they say. Person Never,
• 31:37
  Speaker 1: ladies especially, do not put your bag. I see people
• 31:39
  Speaker 1: on the subway putting their backpacks on the floor. I'm like,
• 31:42
  Speaker 1: are you fucked up in that hat?
• 31:44
  Speaker 3: That's what very common.
• 31:46
  Speaker 1: Even the rats are like this. They're like, we're not
• 31:47
  Speaker 1: putting your bag bursts up in the air for the
• 31:51
  Speaker 1: rat anyway. But I really do think that a little
• 31:55
  Speaker 1: bit of germiness is good for you.
• 31:58
  Speaker 3: Like exposing small children to germs so they can grow,
• 32:01
  Speaker 3: you know. Yeah, resistance, I.
• 32:03
  Speaker 1: Think a little dooty bug here and there is good
• 32:06
  Speaker 1: for you. However, I don't like to get under the
• 32:09
  Speaker 1: covers in I'll sit on the couch in my street clothes, okay,
• 32:13
  Speaker 1: but I really will not get under I won't touch
• 32:15
  Speaker 1: my sheets in my street clothes, right, you do that?
• 32:18
  Speaker 3: I will not.
• 32:19
  Speaker 1: I will.
• 32:19
  Speaker 3: I'll lie on the top cover.
• 32:21
  Speaker 1: Interesting, but I won't pushing it a little.
• 32:24
  Speaker 3: And this is in La so in New York that
• 32:26
  Speaker 3: might be a different store.
• 32:27
  Speaker 1: That's fair.
• 32:28
  Speaker 3: If I'm under the covers in my street clothes, something
• 32:32
  Speaker 3: has gone horribly wrong, either emotionally or physically.
• 32:36
  Speaker 1: You're going to crawl in your jersey, ye it's.
• 32:38
  Speaker 3: Just like it's over. I'm in jeans in bed. But
• 32:42
  Speaker 3: what I don't like is when people really flinch when
• 32:45
  Speaker 3: you like sit down on a bed in your jeans.
• 32:47
  Speaker 3: It's like, it's what are you talking? What are you
• 32:50
  Speaker 3: doing in your jeens? That's so filthy that you're having
• 32:53
  Speaker 3: that reaction? Relax?
• 32:55
  Speaker 1: Wash your blanket. Have you heard of it? You can
• 32:58
  Speaker 1: just throw it in the wash.
• 32:59
  Speaker 3: No, people have lost it all together, right, I mean,
• 33:01
  Speaker 3: unless you were dealing with like biohazard material in your jeans,
• 33:06
  Speaker 3: go ahead, sit on the comforter.
• 33:08
  Speaker 1: Which on the subway, you are to be fair.
• 33:10
  Speaker 3: On the subway. And again that's a whole different situation.
• 33:12
  Speaker 1: I shoved a strange woman last week and a young
• 33:16
  Speaker 1: girl because I was on the subway there was a
• 33:20
  Speaker 1: puddle on the seat next to me, small clear poddle.
• 33:23
  Speaker 3: Oh no, probably water whatever.
• 33:25
  Speaker 1: So I had I had a little bag from a
• 33:26
  Speaker 1: place called Manga. You know this place?
• 33:28
  Speaker 3: Wait Manja, No, I don't think I do.
• 33:29
  Speaker 1: I almost brought your sweatshirt in a Manja bag, and
• 33:31
  Speaker 1: then I thought, because I have that here too, but
• 33:32
  Speaker 1: I was like not bringing it on delicious sandwiches hit
• 33:35
  Speaker 1: or miss anyway. So wait, it's like my lemon poppy
• 33:40
  Speaker 1: kitchen and me, oh, okay, sure. So I have my
• 33:43
  Speaker 1: back kind of resting on the seat. But you know,
• 33:45
  Speaker 1: it's a big poo poo to take a seat up
• 33:47
  Speaker 1: with your bag. Obviously it looks like a terrible person.
• 33:50
  Speaker 1: So the train is filling and this girl and I'm like, oh,
• 33:52
  Speaker 1: I don't want her to think that I'm putting my
• 33:54
  Speaker 1: bag here instead of her, So I move it to indicate, hey,
• 33:58
  Speaker 1: this is open, and flashed Gordon. In two seconds, she
• 34:03
  Speaker 1: comes over and goes to put her ass in the water.
• 34:07
  Speaker 1: And I had and she had very very long hair,
• 34:09
  Speaker 1: and I literally I touched this woman's there. I didn't
• 34:11
  Speaker 1: like it for you, but I pushed her. I pushed
• 34:14
  Speaker 1: her back. I went, don't and she looked at me
• 34:16
  Speaker 1: and I went, there's a puddle. And then we're the
• 34:18
  Speaker 1: best of friends.
• 34:19
  Speaker 3: Okay, so she was okay with it.
• 34:20
  Speaker 1: I mean she should have been kissing my feet.
• 34:23
  Speaker 3: Yes, But it was like in New York that behavior
• 34:26
  Speaker 3: is kind of okay. Everybody's a little bit like a
• 34:28
  Speaker 3: lot of things are a disaster. We watch out for
• 34:31
  Speaker 3: e shows.
• 34:31
  Speaker 1: You have to. That's why I do love New York
• 34:33
  Speaker 1: and people in New York down for a laugh Americans
• 34:35
  Speaker 1: in general. It took me leaving this country to have
• 34:38
  Speaker 1: a real appreciation for the American spirit. And I really
• 34:42
  Speaker 1: mean that.
• 34:42
  Speaker 3: Really, yes, Wow, what's going on in other countries? I've
• 34:46
  Speaker 3: never really noticed this that, Like, I haven't spent extended
• 34:49
  Speaker 3: amounts of time in other countries just humor listeners.
• 34:53
  Speaker 1: Not everywhere. Italians can be funny. I was in Rome
• 34:57
  Speaker 1: for this wedding. I mentioned it. How many times can
• 34:58
  Speaker 1: I bring it in? Can? We said? An account just
• 35:00
  Speaker 1: tick every time you bring it up? But I usually
• 35:03
  Speaker 1: I had never really had a great time in Rome,
• 35:05
  Speaker 1: and this trip I had the best time and everybody
• 35:08
  Speaker 1: was nice, like just it was I think, as it
• 35:10
  Speaker 1: wasn't so touristy. It was September. I highly recommend but
• 35:14
  Speaker 1: no I lived in you could call it a Scandinavian country,
• 35:18
  Speaker 1: the Netherlands or adjacent and nice people. Some were very fun.
• 35:23
  Speaker 1: I have Dutch friends, great people, and this is gohest
• 35:25
  Speaker 1: in England too. I think that you know when you
• 35:28
  Speaker 1: walk into a store here, or a restaurant whatever, they
• 35:30
  Speaker 1: want to know about your day. When you sit at
• 35:33
  Speaker 1: Fridays and they go how's your day? When you take
• 35:36
  Speaker 1: a seat, you recline in your local tgis and you know,
• 35:41
  Speaker 1: Bruce comes over and he goes, how's your day, and
• 35:43
  Speaker 1: you go, don't ask rust And then you have a
• 35:44
  Speaker 1: lap and he's like, tell me about it.
• 35:46
  Speaker 3: You both get it.
• 35:47
  Speaker 1: You get it. You go go home soon. I always end.
• 35:49
  Speaker 1: My favorite thing to do. I'm an unbearable person. Two things. One,
• 35:53
  Speaker 1: and I've talked about this on my show, is that
• 35:55
  Speaker 1: when it's Black Friday time, the quickest way to ingratiate
• 35:58
  Speaker 1: yourself with a shop key is go you work on
• 36:01
  Speaker 1: Black Friday the whole week leading up it's my Christmas.
• 36:04
  Speaker 1: I go, you work on Black Friday. They love it.
• 36:06
  Speaker 1: They go yes, yes or no. They either go thank
• 36:09
  Speaker 1: God no or they go can you imagine?
• 36:10
  Speaker 3: Yeah, what a great conversation starter the checkout line.
• 36:14
  Speaker 1: You work in Black Friday, you get discounts. I'm telling you,
• 36:17
  Speaker 1: they want to emote about Black Fight.
• 36:20
  Speaker 3: Of course, I've worked Black Friday before. It was hell
• 36:23
  Speaker 3: on Earth where best Buy.
• 36:24
  Speaker 1: I'm I can't believe what you're saying. Imagine you're spending
• 36:28
  Speaker 1: best Buy.
• 36:29
  Speaker 3: I don't know. I can't believe I'm saying, Oh yeah,
• 36:31
  Speaker 3: I was at best Buy. And I worked at Black Friday.
• 36:34
  Speaker 3: It was hell on Earth.
• 36:36
  Speaker 1: And this was I'm going to guess because I feel
• 36:38
  Speaker 1: like now Black Friday has changed and now it's like online, cyberminded.
• 36:41
  Speaker 1: But there were times for those too young to remember
• 36:43
  Speaker 1: where Black Friday was gang fights, middle fingers, lying, tense,
• 36:48
  Speaker 1: it was like the new Star Wars, like everyone went nuts.
• 36:50
  Speaker 3: Was it that peak Black Friday time? I would say,
• 36:52
  Speaker 3: I would say, right before it's you know, slow decline.
• 36:56
  Speaker 3: I shouldn't. I stoodn't the exact same place for probably
• 36:59
  Speaker 3: nine hours, just ringing up the same computer over and
• 37:02
  Speaker 3: over and over. They put me back near the washing machine.
• 37:06
  Speaker 3: That's a good place to be, though, don't you think,
• 37:08
  Speaker 3: who's not very pleasant? It's not very there's not much
• 37:11
  Speaker 3: to look at.
• 37:12
  Speaker 1: I could see that.
• 37:12
  Speaker 3: But Black Friday is not a pleasant time to be working.
• 37:15
  Speaker 3: So that's a great thing to bring up.
• 37:17
  Speaker 1: Well, I had a retail job, but I think it
• 37:19
  Speaker 1: was it was ninety eight, okay, jay crew. I was
• 37:21
  Speaker 1: in high school, sure, and then my mom worked at
• 37:24
  Speaker 1: the same store, but I think as she was older,
• 37:26
  Speaker 1: I don't think they put her on the Black Friday shift.
• 37:29
  Speaker 1: I'm almost sure because she was in her sixties. Okay,
• 37:31
  Speaker 1: and they knew better like trampled. Yes, no, no, no, whatever
• 37:35
  Speaker 1: happened to trampling? Yeah, we've got to get back to
• 37:37
  Speaker 1: tramp traveling in a minute. I'm sorry, clear the herd,
• 37:41
  Speaker 1: Charlotte Trampling. We need to bring trampling back. You know
• 37:46
  Speaker 1: why I keep people on their toes. We people gotten
• 37:48
  Speaker 1: too comfortable shopping. Absolutely not.
• 37:50
  Speaker 3: We need to strike the fear of trampling back into America.
• 37:53
  Speaker 1: Yes, brings the rhinoceray in. I say, we got a Jumanji.
• 37:57
  Speaker 1: These people back into shape.
• 37:59
  Speaker 3: The day this release, there will be nine tracking.
• 38:02
  Speaker 1: I mean really, that's the thing. And that's every time
• 38:04
  Speaker 1: I do something two days later people like you Eve,
• 38:06
  Speaker 1: I'm like, wait, this is pre the famed, the same
• 38:09
  Speaker 1: stampede of twenty.
• 38:10
  Speaker 3: Two historical Tramplin. We should So we're October sixth. Let's
• 38:16
  Speaker 3: just mark the date. We're talking about trampling on October sixth,
• 38:20
  Speaker 3: just to be clear.
• 38:20
  Speaker 1: It's like a hostage video. Yes, very smart, October sixth.
• 38:26
  Speaker 1: I used to go, I say, I actually love Black
• 38:29
  Speaker 1: Friday as a consumer back in its heyday, not for
• 38:32
  Speaker 1: the best buye of it all, because that was like
• 38:33
  Speaker 1: I didn't want to actually get shot. But as someone
• 38:36
  Speaker 1: who really loves you could say consumerism. I mean, I
• 38:39
  Speaker 1: love the bargain hunt for me, a hunt that's my
• 38:42
  Speaker 1: life for me, it's like the Hunt. It's like my
• 38:44
  Speaker 1: own personal game show. And I love game shows, so
• 38:46
  Speaker 1: it kind of all tracks. I just like shopping at
• 38:48
  Speaker 1: three in the morning. I think it's so fun to
• 38:51
  Speaker 1: be up in the middle of the night. And this
• 38:53
  Speaker 1: was always in Miami, going to Sawgrass Mills, one of
• 38:55
  Speaker 1: the best outlet malls in the nation and world, and
• 38:58
  Speaker 1: just seeing babies up three thirty in the morning and
• 39:01
  Speaker 1: the parents they all bring the suitcases and they load
• 39:03
  Speaker 1: them up with a didas and things to bring back
• 39:05
  Speaker 1: to you know, Brazil or wherever.
• 39:07
  Speaker 3: There's an uncanniness to being in a store at that
• 39:10
  Speaker 3: time of night. It's just like, oh this fields.
• 39:12
  Speaker 1: Yeah, it's like a sleepover. Yes, it's like a sleepover
• 39:15
  Speaker 1: with a bunch of crazy strangers. And I miss that.
• 39:19
  Speaker 1: I do, because now they don't keep the malls open late,
• 39:21
  Speaker 1: and I don't.
• 39:22
  Speaker 3: Know, it's all over. The wonderful days of everything being
• 39:26
  Speaker 3: bad on Black Friday are done.
• 39:27
  Speaker 1: Yeah, what the hell? But no Americans are nice? Going
• 39:31
  Speaker 1: back circling back. We are friendly, humor loving people when
• 39:35
  Speaker 1: you keep politics out of it.
• 39:36
  Speaker 3: I feel like I would thrive in another country.
• 39:39
  Speaker 1: Where would you like to go?
• 39:40
  Speaker 3: I mean in a Scandinavian country. I feel like I
• 39:42
  Speaker 3: would that sort of social atmosphere. I'd be perfectly fine.
• 39:46
  Speaker 1: I could see that. But you know, you say that,
• 39:48
  Speaker 1: and I don't think you realize how when you have
• 39:51
  Speaker 1: grown up here and how used to the warmth you are.
• 39:54
  Speaker 1: It really for me and I had an amazing time there.
• 39:57
  Speaker 1: I would go back like, I'm not like shitting on
• 40:00
  Speaker 1: their people because I've gotten flacked by this before. But
• 40:02
  Speaker 1: for me, it did slowly chip away at my spirit.
• 40:06
  Speaker 1: I'm being.
• 40:09
  Speaker 3: You're a different woman.
• 40:11
  Speaker 1: I'm being serious. Though. In London it's better because the
• 40:14
  Speaker 1: English are always always drunk and they're always down for
• 40:16
  Speaker 1: an lol, like they sure she love a little bit of.
• 40:18
  Speaker 3: A laugh that crunk, you know, but you well, is
• 40:23
  Speaker 3: there anything left to say about this beautiful sweatshirt? I
• 40:25
  Speaker 3: wish now so much time in Jersey here and there
• 40:28
  Speaker 3: a half Okay, I think it's really underrated. I grew
• 40:30
  Speaker 3: up in a state that was a real butt of
• 40:31
  Speaker 3: jokes Utah, so I always kind of you know, when
• 40:34
  Speaker 3: New Jersey was also, I felt a kinship for New Jersey.
• 40:38
  Speaker 1: I actually got canceled by New Jersey years ago.
• 40:41
  Speaker 3: You got canceled by New Jersey.
• 40:42
  Speaker 1: I haven't thought about this what happened. Okay. I hope
• 40:46
  Speaker 1: it's clear that I love New Jersey and that this
• 40:48
  Speaker 1: was clearly a joke. But you're gonna like this. So
• 40:50
  Speaker 1: before I was a comedian right out of college, I
• 40:53
  Speaker 1: was a legal secretary, okay, and I was blogging secretly.
• 40:57
  Speaker 1: That was like how I kind of got my start. Wonderful,
• 40:59
  Speaker 1: Thank you, that's what. That's the story.
• 41:02
  Speaker 3: What an incredible story. Thank you so much for being here, Michelle.
• 41:06
  Speaker 1: No, and there was a famous day in New York
• 41:10
  Speaker 1: that you may ring a bell for you, where the
• 41:12
  Speaker 1: whole city smelled like maple syrup. Do you remember that?
• 41:14
  Speaker 2: Oh?
• 41:14
  Speaker 3: Yes, yeah, of course.
• 41:15
  Speaker 1: So did you know that I broke that story?
• 41:17
  Speaker 3: No way, yes.
• 41:19
  Speaker 1: And I was the very first mention. I think maybe
• 41:22
  Speaker 1: someone of the radio said it, maybe before me, But
• 41:24
  Speaker 1: I was like the first written men show, the first
• 41:27
  Speaker 1: one brave enough to go public and say, hey, sniff, sniff,
• 41:32
  Speaker 1: the whole city smells like maple syrup. And I knew
• 41:33
  Speaker 1: this because I worked down on Wall Street. Again, Secretary
• 41:36
  Speaker 1: always sounds like I had some big job. I was
• 41:38
  Speaker 1: like eating alpo out of the can. I worked down
• 41:41
  Speaker 1: on Wall Street, but I lived near Columbia uptown, and
• 41:44
  Speaker 1: so I used to walk home, or like walk halfway
• 41:46
  Speaker 1: home as my exercise, and the whole walk, I'm like,
• 41:49
  Speaker 1: stinks like maple syrup. And then I had roommates and
• 41:51
  Speaker 1: I got home and my roommate, Sarah Smellon, was like
• 41:53
  Speaker 1: hy Sarah still friends with her. She was like, it
• 41:56
  Speaker 1: smells like syrup. Our room smelled like.
• 41:58
  Speaker 3: It, and I smell you want to smell disbodied from food,
• 42:04
  Speaker 3: pancakes have to be nearby.
• 42:05
  Speaker 1: It actually was sickening. It was nauseating, and I wrote
• 42:09
  Speaker 1: about it, and fast forward. The New York Times contacted
• 42:12
  Speaker 1: me for a quote because I was the very first
• 42:15
  Speaker 1: like blogger to write about this. This would have been
• 42:17
  Speaker 1: in whenever that happened two thousand and five or six.
• 42:19
  Speaker 3: Two thousand and five.
• 42:20
  Speaker 1: Okay, I know how I know so, and I said
• 42:24
  Speaker 1: something along the lines of, well, we just figured that
• 42:28
  Speaker 1: stench was coming from New Jersey, where most stenches originated.
• 42:33
  Speaker 1: I made a joke about New Jersey being smelly or
• 42:35
  Speaker 1: having industrial waste, which it does. For the record, I
• 42:39
  Speaker 1: love it.
• 42:40
  Speaker 3: But it doesn't.
• 42:41
  Speaker 1: Well, this is the thing, and people got I remember,
• 42:43
  Speaker 1: they got pissed me. But that story was why I
• 42:45
  Speaker 1: got fired from my job.
• 42:46
  Speaker 3: By the way, that's amazing because my.
• 42:48
  Speaker 1: Boss saw it. I was like, are you blogging from here?
• 42:50
  Speaker 1: And I went no, And I think I didn't get fired.
• 42:53
  Speaker 1: Excuse me. I ended up quitting to go work at
• 42:55
  Speaker 1: VH one. But that was like the breaking.
• 42:56
  Speaker 3: Out than Michael Syrup. Did they ever figure it out?
• 43:00
  Speaker 1: I don't think they did. I think a reporter years
• 43:02
  Speaker 1: later tried to find out and they do. Believe. Correct
• 43:05
  Speaker 1: me if I'm wrong that it was a chemical spell.
• 43:07
  Speaker 3: Wow, I think chemicals smell like maybe it was natural
• 43:11
  Speaker 3: flavoring or whatever.
• 43:12
  Speaker 1: It was delicious chemicals good to me. I look like
• 43:15
  Speaker 1: two faces girl? Did you get in the chemicals again?
• 43:18
  Speaker 1: I'm like, you caught me? I love chemis.
• 43:20
  Speaker 3: Well, you owe everything to New Jersey.
• 43:22
  Speaker 1: Actually in a way, yes, so my apologies to New Jersey.
• 43:25
  Speaker 1: I have spent a lot of money in your state.
• 43:27
  Speaker 1: I love Bergen.
• 43:28
  Speaker 3: I love this big mall with the ski jump or whatever.
• 43:32
  Speaker 3: The American American Dream's a tough name for a mall
• 43:35
  Speaker 3: that's failing.
• 43:37
  Speaker 1: It is failing, right, I think. So have you ever
• 43:39
  Speaker 1: been to the Mall of America?
• 43:40
  Speaker 3: No, I've never been to either of these malls. I
• 43:41
  Speaker 3: was obsessed with them as a kid. It's like, I
• 43:43
  Speaker 3: want to go to the biggest mall, but you don't
• 43:46
  Speaker 3: really Your parents don't really have a recent to vacation
• 43:48
  Speaker 3: near one of those malls. No anything vacation destinations. Maybe
• 43:52
  Speaker 3: I'll get to the American dream at some point. I'm
• 43:54
  Speaker 3: back in Jersey every once in a while.
• 43:56
  Speaker 1: So we're in Jersey is a boyfriend from Lyndhurst. Great
• 44:00
  Speaker 1: Costco's in New Jersey. New Jersey is a where I
• 44:03
  Speaker 1: believe I got COVID for the first time at a
• 44:04
  Speaker 1: Costco in Wayne. And also they have the best I
• 44:09
  Speaker 1: just I really am pro Jersey. If I had to
• 44:11
  Speaker 1: move back to New York, I would live in Jersey.
• 44:12
  Speaker 1: Probably a lot of people do. Yeah, well, I think
• 44:14
  Speaker 1: we should play a game. Okay, We're gonna play a
• 44:17
  Speaker 1: game called Gift to a Curse. But I need a
• 44:19
  Speaker 1: number between one and ten from you. I have to go.
• 44:22
  Speaker 1: I'll go eight.
• 44:23
  Speaker 3: Okay, I have to do some light calculating to get
• 44:25
  Speaker 3: our game pieces right now. You can promote, recommend, do
• 44:27
  Speaker 3: whatever you want.
• 44:28
  Speaker 1: Well, I have a show nearly every day on my Patreon.
• 44:32
  Speaker 1: It's called the Michelle Collins showpatreon dot com slash mish Call.
• 44:35
  Speaker 1: You can also go to my Instagram at mish call
• 44:39
  Speaker 1: and link it there. I also have a live show
• 44:41
  Speaker 1: in New York October twenty second at Joe's Pub called Wait,
• 44:45
  Speaker 1: why Don't I Know You? I had one here in
• 44:46
  Speaker 1: La sold out. I did five shows of Joe's Pub.
• 44:49
  Speaker 1: They nearly sold out, and then they were such a
• 44:52
  Speaker 1: rousing success that they gave me another night. And it's
• 44:54
  Speaker 1: really I'm proud of it, and I think people should
• 44:57
  Speaker 1: come see. It's funny.
• 44:58
  Speaker 3: Everybody goes see Michelle and yeah, listen to Michelle. Use
• 45:01
  Speaker 3: your internet to figure it out.
• 45:03
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I think you'd enjoy it. If you like If
• 45:05
  Speaker 1: you like this, if you like this, this is what
• 45:07
  Speaker 1: it is basically every day. It's just.
• 45:11
  Speaker 3: Wonderful.
• 45:11
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 45:12
  Speaker 3: No, this is a very smart show. People learn this
• 45:16
  Speaker 3: is I say it over and over. It's a utility. Ultimately,
• 45:18
  Speaker 3: they're getting their news from this. Let's check in with Oniz.
• 45:21
  Speaker 3: I want to see if TJ Max ever got if
• 45:23
  Speaker 3: we ever got to the bottom what TJ stands for.
• 45:26
  Speaker 1: Nobody knows.
• 45:27
  Speaker 3: Nobody knows. It's a mystery, is it.
• 45:30
  Speaker 5: Yeah, I tried to dig. There's some theories around, but
• 45:33
  Speaker 5: not not anything that's concrete.
• 45:34
  Speaker 1: It's it's just kind of vague. Yeah.
• 45:36
  Speaker 3: Wow, TJ. Max needs to speak to that. It's time
• 45:40
  Speaker 3: that they come clean on what TJ stands for.
• 45:42
  Speaker 1: Especially what with the popularity of Trader Joe's. You would
• 45:45
  Speaker 1: think they would want to differentiate.
• 45:46
  Speaker 3: Themselves unless it is Trader Joe's, and then they're like,
• 45:49
  Speaker 3: we cannot let this get out to the public. This
• 45:51
  Speaker 3: could ruin everything.
• 45:52
  Speaker 1: The maximum Trader Joe's. Just you go, and they do
• 45:54
  Speaker 1: have a lot of food items.
• 45:56
  Speaker 3: You get in the checkout line. You're going to be
• 45:57
  Speaker 3: buying some caramel core and you're going to be buying
• 45:59
  Speaker 3: some the ex brand chocolate.
• 46:02
  Speaker 1: You know, it's really funny. And then I saw so
• 46:04
  Speaker 1: I literally am there every day. I love it. It's
• 46:06
  Speaker 1: fine for me. It's like my museum. And they had
• 46:09
  Speaker 1: pumpkin spice cheesecake popcorn. Oh, and I actually thought the
• 46:12
  Speaker 1: devil is the Devil is among us. I couldn't believe
• 46:15
  Speaker 1: that that was something that someone thought this. There's a
• 46:18
  Speaker 1: market for this.
• 46:19
  Speaker 3: Where does the cheesecake come in at that? The pumpkin spice,
• 46:22
  Speaker 3: I get it like I throw the seasoning on it,
• 46:23
  Speaker 3: But then we're getting into like dairy tanginess.
• 46:26
  Speaker 1: I don't understand it. The creaminess. I don't like it
• 46:28
  Speaker 1: at all. Sorry, thank you?
• 46:29
  Speaker 3: Yes, okay, this is how we play Gift or a curse.
• 46:31
  Speaker 3: I'm going to name three things. You're gonna tell me
• 46:33
  Speaker 3: if they're a gift or a curse and why, and
• 46:35
  Speaker 3: then I'll tell you if you're right or wrong, because there
• 46:37
  Speaker 3: are correct dands. Oh my god, okay, all right. Number
• 46:40
  Speaker 3: one this is from a listener named Kendra. Gift or
• 46:42
  Speaker 3: a curse. Setting your clock a few minutes fast to
• 46:45
  Speaker 3: trick yourself into being on time. Gift Why.
• 46:49
  Speaker 1: I have worked on myself, but I used to be
• 46:52
  Speaker 1: chronically late, even though technically I was also late today.
• 46:55
  Speaker 1: But I told you guys, you were you were?
• 46:58
  Speaker 3: Yes, yes, I.
• 46:59
  Speaker 1: Was on time for the time that way. But as
• 47:02
  Speaker 1: someone who does run late and is constantly trying to improve,
• 47:05
  Speaker 1: I do think that that does work, and I have
• 47:08
  Speaker 1: no issue with it at all.
• 47:10
  Speaker 3: Wrong curse this the trick here I will say is
• 47:14
  Speaker 3: we're tricking ourselves. It works for maybe a month, and
• 47:18
  Speaker 3: then you get used to it, and then it's just
• 47:21
  Speaker 3: now you're just living by that time, and it's because
• 47:23
  Speaker 3: you're probably less on time to places because your clock's
• 47:26
  Speaker 3: all screwed up. You've totally bent your what you believe
• 47:30
  Speaker 3: time is, and you've taken yourself out of society. You
• 47:33
  Speaker 3: need to get it back. I know it might work once.
• 47:36
  Speaker 3: Maybe it'll probably work total a month. Then the trick
• 47:39
  Speaker 3: doesn't work anymore.
• 47:40
  Speaker 1: You're mistaken.
• 47:41
  Speaker 3: It's a bad, bad thing to do.
• 47:43
  Speaker 1: Typical of a former best Buy employee to state such lies.
• 47:48
  Speaker 1: I like it. We're not talking. We're not talking like
• 47:51
  Speaker 1: ten minutes. We're talking two three minutes in the range.
• 47:53
  Speaker 1: It helps.
• 47:54
  Speaker 3: You're wrong, Okay, you're wrong. You didn't get the point.
• 47:56
  Speaker 1: Wow.
• 47:57
  Speaker 3: Okay, but that's fine. Let's see if you do any better. Okay, okay.
• 48:00
  Speaker 3: The second one is from a listener named Dan Gift
• 48:02
  Speaker 3: her a curse perfumes at the dog groomer, for example, cotton, candy,
• 48:07
  Speaker 3: pumpkin spice, etc.
• 48:09
  Speaker 1: Now I don't have a dog pumpkin spice. I'm mad
• 48:14
  Speaker 1: I have to say curse. Why? Now? Listen I love dogs.
• 48:18
  Speaker 1: When I was at the outlets the other day, these
• 48:20
  Speaker 1: people came with nine Pomeranians. And if you don't think,
• 48:22
  Speaker 1: I did a twenty five minute set for every employee
• 48:24
  Speaker 1: there about it. They were on the floor and you
• 48:26
  Speaker 1: can call the store for proof. But I don't think
• 48:29
  Speaker 1: that dogs should smell unnatural. I think that they should
• 48:32
  Speaker 1: smell soapy. I love a soap smell scent. I like
• 48:34
  Speaker 1: a clean dog. Believe me. I don't love a wet
• 48:36
  Speaker 1: dog smell right, he does, but I do think that
• 48:39
  Speaker 1: it is chemically and unnatural.
• 48:42
  Speaker 3: Okay, wrong, Michelle. I'm so sorry to hear this look
• 48:48
  Speaker 3: on a human. No human should smell like a food.
• 48:51
  Speaker 3: When the soap smells like food for people, no thank
• 48:54
  Speaker 3: you with the dog. I love the dog to smell
• 48:56
  Speaker 3: like a treat. I talked to my dog like she's
• 48:58
  Speaker 3: a cookie. Anyway, I think bring her, bring her back
• 49:02
  Speaker 3: smelling like a what's a food?
• 49:07
  Speaker 1: Riggotni. I don't know why they came to mind.
• 49:09
  Speaker 3: Yeah, not RIGATONI, as long as it's not a savory food.
• 49:12
  Speaker 1: A sweet food.
• 49:13
  Speaker 3: No sweet food.
• 49:14
  Speaker 1: We were just talking about maple syrup smell smelling horrible.
• 49:16
  Speaker 3: There's no way starlight mint. I love my dog to
• 49:19
  Speaker 3: smell like starlight mint.
• 49:20
  Speaker 1: You think that, and you're wrong. One time I stayed
• 49:23
  Speaker 1: in a hotel which was so minty that my eyes
• 49:26
  Speaker 1: were on fire, and I had to leave in the morning.
• 49:27
  Speaker 1: This is true story. And people I had a show
• 49:30
  Speaker 1: at the time, and people were lice to have one
• 49:31
  Speaker 1: now too, by the way, but the people who listened
• 49:33
  Speaker 1: to me were like, that was a rat infested hotel
• 49:35
  Speaker 1: and they were using mint to get rid of rats.
• 49:38
  Speaker 1: And so you think you don't.
• 49:41
  Speaker 3: Oh no, you heard that. The rats are has step down, Kathy,
• 49:44
  Speaker 3: she did.
• 49:45
  Speaker 1: That's my new job. I'm like, oh, opening and the
• 49:47
  Speaker 1: rats are the rats are stepped down. She's not doing
• 49:50
  Speaker 1: a good job at the place.
• 49:51
  Speaker 3: She's not doing a good job. Well, she's no longer there,
• 49:53
  Speaker 3: so I guess she's I have.
• 49:55
  Speaker 1: To stop my feet walking back to this apartment building
• 49:57
  Speaker 1: to get all the rats out of the way. I'll
• 49:59
  Speaker 1: come it down there. Stop stop in the yard bridge.
• 50:01
  Speaker 3: Oh god, well she's done ratzarring. Maybe she'll come to
• 50:04
  Speaker 3: La to ratsar. I don't know.
• 50:06
  Speaker 1: Do they have a lot of rats here?
• 50:07
  Speaker 3: Oh my god, I've seen I think as many rats,
• 50:11
  Speaker 3: if not more, in La than in New York. I've
• 50:12
  Speaker 3: had some bad interactions with rats in LA.
• 50:15
  Speaker 1: That's a shame because I remember I love a possum.
• 50:17
  Speaker 3: Okay, I've recently like, I don't love them, but I've
• 50:19
  Speaker 3: recently stopped fearing them this month.
• 50:22
  Speaker 1: They're so sweet and cute. I watched a.
• 50:23
  Speaker 3: Video the other day of someone just petting it, putting
• 50:26
  Speaker 3: his hand in its mouth. It did nothing.
• 50:28
  Speaker 1: They're the cutest. There was one I think she passed
• 50:31
  Speaker 1: away named Heidi who was cross eyed. Can we pull
• 50:34
  Speaker 1: up it? Have you ever seen her? You must pull
• 50:37
  Speaker 1: up Heidi. Heidi was a famous cross eye possum. She
• 50:39
  Speaker 1: may have been an opossum, because I know they're different,
• 50:41
  Speaker 1: so please, I'm no different. Yeah.
• 50:44
  Speaker 3: I thought that people just had given up on saying
• 50:46
  Speaker 3: oh possum.
• 50:47
  Speaker 1: Like when they're like singing like, oh possum, my posa.
• 50:50
  Speaker 3: I figured we all possible. We were just like, well,
• 50:52
  Speaker 3: we'll just say possum.
• 50:53
  Speaker 1: No, I think it's different. We'll pull it up. But Heidi,
• 50:56
  Speaker 1: the look at her, that's real. Yes, she is an opossum.
• 51:01
  Speaker 1: Excuse me, looks she's so funny. I think she passed
• 51:04
  Speaker 1: the cutest rip And they used to put her in
• 51:07
  Speaker 1: little outfits. Heidi was a true star.
• 51:11
  Speaker 3: My entry point for possums was the babies. Once you
• 51:14
  Speaker 3: see a baby possum, you're like, Okay, I'm starting to
• 51:16
  Speaker 3: get what a weird little freak you are?
• 51:19
  Speaker 1: God bless, there's so cute. Also, baby skunks.
• 51:21
  Speaker 3: I love a baby skunk. Forget about it.
• 51:23
  Speaker 1: I'm locked and loaded in. There are just some animals,
• 51:27
  Speaker 1: like baby donkeys. You know, Angelica Houston has a donkey farm,
• 51:29
  Speaker 1: and I think she's doing life the.
• 51:31
  Speaker 3: Way I would like to do it. She's got a
• 51:32
  Speaker 3: lot of donkeys she does what does she do with them?
• 51:35
  Speaker 3: She just feeds them and pets.
• 51:36
  Speaker 1: And hangs out with them, cleans up their little blueberry duties,
• 51:39
  Speaker 1: you know.
• 51:39
  Speaker 3: For Angelica. Yes, she's so great.
• 51:41
  Speaker 1: I love her.
• 51:42
  Speaker 3: Okay, okay, you've gotten zero so far. Tough to hear.
• 51:47
  Speaker 1: Oh I drove all the way into the valley to
• 51:50
  Speaker 1: get zero.
• 51:51
  Speaker 3: Not taking the sweatshirt back, so I don't forget.
• 51:53
  Speaker 1: I have my own.
• 51:54
  Speaker 3: This final one is from a listener named Antonia. Gift
• 51:57
  Speaker 3: her a curse. Finding a piece of hair in your
• 51:58
  Speaker 3: food that you can immediately tell is yours curse?
• 52:02
  Speaker 1: Why listen? I don't care you know where to even begin.
• 52:08
  Speaker 1: I just finding hair in food is excuse me. Sometimes
• 52:11
  Speaker 1: that you have short hair, so you wouldn't necessarily know this,
• 52:13
  Speaker 1: but sometimes women you know are my hair falls out
• 52:15
  Speaker 1: quite a bit.
• 52:16
  Speaker 5: Oh.
• 52:16
  Speaker 1: In fact, there's for sure hair on me as we speak.
• 52:19
  Speaker 1: Nobody wants to pull a hair out because the shock,
• 52:22
  Speaker 1: the ice cold blood that runs through your system in
• 52:26
  Speaker 1: the figuring out period of whose hair is this? You know,
• 52:29
  Speaker 1: to quote Seinfeld when they bought the vodka and Aline goes, well,
• 52:32
  Speaker 1: it's a short hair, and Jerry goes, do you think
• 52:34
  Speaker 1: that makes it better? I mean, it's just it's a hair.
• 52:36
  Speaker 1: So hair. I thought you were going to say, because
• 52:39
  Speaker 1: this I could see as a gift, finding a hair
• 52:42
  Speaker 1: and a meal you didn't like, and then happy reason
• 52:45
  Speaker 1: to send it back and be like, you know, I'm
• 52:47
  Speaker 1: so nauseous.
• 52:48
  Speaker 3: I need to carry a little plastic bag of hair
• 52:50
  Speaker 3: around with your just plush. Well, I can't know my
• 52:53
  Speaker 3: hair isn't going to work. They'll know immediately that it's
• 52:55
  Speaker 3: my hair.
• 52:55
  Speaker 1: That's true. I'll give you how many forget your hair
• 52:59
  Speaker 1: after feathers? What you need? I have so much shit
• 53:01
  Speaker 1: flying off of me today. It's not even funny. I
• 53:03
  Speaker 1: think you have sweatshirt lint on your head. I just
• 53:05
  Speaker 1: noticed it. Yeah, you got it. Thank you, You're welcome.
• 53:08
  Speaker 3: That's my treat to the listener and the viewer. Curse.
• 53:12
  Speaker 3: You're correct, it's an absolute curse. I would much rather
• 53:15
  Speaker 3: it be somebody else's because when it's mine, the immediate
• 53:18
  Speaker 3: feeling is shame. I'm embarrassed. I'm like, oh God, And
• 53:22
  Speaker 3: I don't get to play the little detective of who
• 53:24
  Speaker 3: could this hair be? Who do I get to blame?
• 53:27
  Speaker 3: That's what I ultimately care about when I find a
• 53:29
  Speaker 3: hair in my food is getting to blame another person
• 53:32
  Speaker 3: one thousand to be robbed of that opportunity and have
• 53:35
  Speaker 3: a hair in your food, no thank you. I also
• 53:38
  Speaker 3: have real issues with restaurants that feel comfortable serving food
• 53:41
  Speaker 3: with onion skin and sprouts. Why fool me into thinking,
• 53:45
  Speaker 3: you know, sometimes there's onion skin.
• 53:48
  Speaker 1: No, listen. Sometimes you know when you slice an onion, yes,
• 53:52
  Speaker 1: and you get those little like in visit skins between
• 53:55
  Speaker 1: the rings. Right, of course, so sometimes in salads they
• 53:58
  Speaker 1: chop it up, but the invisit skin stay in.
• 54:00
  Speaker 3: Wow, that's a sloppy restaurant.
• 54:03
  Speaker 1: I won't name what it recently happened to me subway artist.
• 54:08
  Speaker 1: My ass, it's me doing Chicago anyway. Yeah, and sprout
• 54:14
  Speaker 1: a very anti sprout.
• 54:15
  Speaker 3: I like, I like a sprout on a sandwich on occasion,
• 54:17
  Speaker 3: but I feel like it's a you're playing a very
• 54:20
  Speaker 3: dangerous game with food poisoning.
• 54:22
  Speaker 1: First of all, it is a prime you're basically eating
• 54:25
  Speaker 1: a prime amount of dooty bug. I mean, it's so
• 54:28
  Speaker 1: full of dooty bugs. Yeah, and then just everything about sprouts.
• 54:32
  Speaker 3: If we could find a way to really make sure
• 54:34
  Speaker 3: those are clean. Sure, but you know, you hear stories
• 54:38
  Speaker 3: and there's always a news report that they're poisoning people,
• 54:41
  Speaker 3: and ultimately for what, it's not that good.
• 54:44
  Speaker 1: I have a question for you, what not to flip
• 54:45
  Speaker 1: the script here and be the host. You walk by
• 54:48
  Speaker 1: a restaurant they have a B grade? You go in
• 54:51
  Speaker 1: or no, I'll go in. Okay, same And.
• 54:53
  Speaker 3: I'll actually wait, I actually think a B grade restaurant.
• 54:57
  Speaker 3: You know, they're probably the food's probably a little better.
• 55:00
  Speaker 3: They're concerned about the food, they're not concerned about the
• 55:02
  Speaker 3: exact keeping everything in order.
• 55:04
  Speaker 1: So I agree with you, because I was supposed to
• 55:06
  Speaker 1: have dinner or have dinner with my friend. We just
• 55:08
  Speaker 1: didn't go where we intended to go with a friend.
• 55:10
  Speaker 1: A couple of days ago in New York, there was
• 55:12
  Speaker 1: a B grade. She went, I won't go in. I said,
• 55:14
  Speaker 1: you're joking. She goes. Her boyfriend is a manager at
• 55:17
  Speaker 1: a restaurant. She goes, you don't understand how many infractions
• 55:20
  Speaker 1: they have to get to get the bally like, even
• 55:22
  Speaker 1: when they get the A, they're not perfect. Like you know,
• 55:24
  Speaker 1: certain things are whatever to go down A grade, things
• 55:27
  Speaker 1: are bad below would be you're dealing in true.
• 55:30
  Speaker 3: Well, then, yeah, what's happening with the C? Why is
• 55:32
  Speaker 3: the sea allowed to remain open? Why are why is
• 55:34
  Speaker 3: the bee allowed? Why is it allowed also go in
• 55:37
  Speaker 3: the bee? You know, I believe in redemption, and I
• 55:41
  Speaker 3: feel like the the B maybe they're trying their best
• 55:44
  Speaker 3: to get back to an A and they're aware of
• 55:46
  Speaker 3: the problems.
• 55:46
  Speaker 1: Now, well that's maybe they're saying. Listen, there was a
• 55:49
  Speaker 1: restaurant in Fort Lauderdale. I'm dying to say the name.
• 55:52
  Speaker 3: You can say it, can I for sure? Okay, figure
• 55:56
  Speaker 3: we might have to beep it eventually.
• 55:57
  Speaker 1: But so there's a restaurant in for a Louderdale called
• 56:00
  Speaker 1: but it's gorgeous. It's like waterfront. You see the boats passing.
• 56:02
  Speaker 1: It's like really on a magical day in Florida, you
• 56:05
  Speaker 1: can really feel happy. There was an article my mom
• 56:08
  Speaker 1: sent to me the like I think it had roach chefs.
• 56:11
  Speaker 1: I think the chefs were it was a roach chef.
• 56:13
  Speaker 1: It was roach to too week. They had roaches. There
• 56:16
  Speaker 1: were so many roaches found there, and i'd e and
• 56:19
  Speaker 1: they're probably like three or four times in my lifetime.
• 56:21
  Speaker 1: So of course I'm like, well, now we can never
• 56:22
  Speaker 1: go back. But then it's like no, but now they're
• 56:24
  Speaker 1: not gonna be there's not gonna be a roach like
• 56:25
  Speaker 1: they have to. Yeah, now's the time to go.
• 56:28
  Speaker 3: To right, because I feel like the A restaurants they're
• 56:30
  Speaker 3: riding high. They they're not looking at their problems at all.
• 56:34
  Speaker 3: They're not even thinking about it. No, they're cruising along
• 56:36
  Speaker 3: and the roaches are sneaking in. Meanwhile b is swatting
• 56:39
  Speaker 3: them as soon as they appear.
• 56:41
  Speaker 1: That looks like my face when I read that article.
• 56:43
  Speaker 1: Do you see those two holes in that mouth? It's
• 56:45
  Speaker 1: just so funny.
• 56:46
  Speaker 3: It just looks like a ninja turtle, and it really does.
• 56:49
  Speaker 3: This will go to Instagram eventually and it'll be so compelling.
• 56:52
  Speaker 1: Oh, people are gonna love it. Look at your nice
• 56:53
  Speaker 1: phone case.
• 56:54
  Speaker 3: No, it's falling apart. Okay, well you got one out
• 56:57
  Speaker 3: of three. Okay, that's a perfect grade.
• 57:00
  Speaker 1: Sounds good to me. State school here, I come.
• 57:03
  Speaker 3: All right, Well we should answer a listener questions. Let's
• 57:06
  Speaker 3: let time people writing in. They're sending voice notes to
• 57:09
  Speaker 3: I said no gifts at gmail dot com. We're going
• 57:11
  Speaker 3: to answer a question on alyst. Will you play the question?
• 57:14
  Speaker 4: Hello Bridger and Lucky guest. I'm Liz from Milton, Delaware.
• 57:19
  Speaker 4: I was wondering if someone gives a gift such as
• 57:23
  Speaker 4: nuts or cheese or jam to someone who's not a
• 57:27
  Speaker 4: cook or doesn't really care to be in the kitchen,
• 57:30
  Speaker 4: is that a burden because that person then needs to
• 57:34
  Speaker 4: buy crackers or bread or has to think of an
• 57:37
  Speaker 4: idea for that item and maybe they don't want to
• 57:41
  Speaker 4: Or is it really truly a gift because you're providing
• 57:44
  Speaker 4: them with something to eat?
• 57:45
  Speaker 3: Thanks in advance.
• 57:47
  Speaker 1: I'm so happy her opening was so warm because I'm
• 57:51
  Speaker 1: not going to tear her apart as a results.
• 57:53
  Speaker 3: Do you feel like tearing her apart?
• 57:55
  Speaker 1: There is an instinct within me that says, of all
• 57:58
  Speaker 1: the questions to ask in the world, I've never gotten
• 58:01
  Speaker 1: a food. Funny enough, my mind goes somewhere else if
• 58:03
  Speaker 1: I get a food gift or I'm like they think,
• 58:05
  Speaker 1: because I eat a lot. You know, I'm so sick
• 58:06
  Speaker 1: as a woman who's grown up a millennial. No, this
• 58:09
  Speaker 1: is how broken I am so No. I mean, imagine
• 58:12
  Speaker 1: you get a first of all, who's giving blocks of
• 58:14
  Speaker 1: cheese as a gift? Is my thing? If you already
• 58:16
  Speaker 1: you know, if you come to someone's home, sure with
• 58:19
  Speaker 1: some cheese, there's an assumption that there's a cracker in
• 58:21
  Speaker 1: the house.
• 58:22
  Speaker 3: Right, right, they'd be wrong about me. I don't have
• 58:24
  Speaker 3: any crackers in my house, but I like to eat
• 58:26
  Speaker 3: a cheese. I don't see any problem. I feel like
• 58:29
  Speaker 3: she's got a problem with this. Why else would she
• 58:31
  Speaker 3: have sent the voice note And she's got a huge
• 58:33
  Speaker 3: problem with it. I don't cook. Bring me a jam.
• 58:36
  Speaker 3: I'll find something to spread that on. I might eat
• 58:38
  Speaker 3: it with a spoon.
• 58:39
  Speaker 1: I also don't cook. I'm happy you don't.
• 58:41
  Speaker 3: I mean, I'm not happy or proud, but it's my
• 58:43
  Speaker 3: life and the ADHD you know all the think so
• 58:46
  Speaker 3: I really do.
• 58:47
  Speaker 1: Oh interesting because I can't get it together to cook.
• 58:49
  Speaker 1: I'm like, I don't know what this is. I gotta
• 58:52
  Speaker 1: go and I leave. But I thought her question was
• 58:55
  Speaker 1: going to be, do you clear that they don't have
• 58:57
  Speaker 1: a nut allergy? I thought she was going an allergy room.
• 59:00
  Speaker 1: So for her to then suggests that buying a cracker
• 59:04
  Speaker 1: is such a burden for a generous listen, Darius expensive
• 59:08
  Speaker 1: these days. I would love to get some fake jam
• 59:10
  Speaker 1: and a big thing a breath.
• 59:12
  Speaker 3: I'll go out and buy some bread if I get that. Yes,
• 59:14
  Speaker 3: that's not a burden for me.
• 59:16
  Speaker 1: Give me a begin anything, but get out of here.
• 59:18
  Speaker 1: I genuinely my mind is erotted. But no, I think
• 59:21
  Speaker 1: it's She was such a nice girl and a beautiful voice.
• 59:24
  Speaker 1: I enjoyed listening to her, so I'm gonna let it go.
• 59:26
  Speaker 1: But no, I think that's fine.
• 59:28
  Speaker 3: I think that's perfectly fine. I welcome any you know,
• 59:31
  Speaker 3: as someone who's received literally every type of gift at
• 59:33
  Speaker 3: this point. Oh yeah, somebody brought a little jar of jam.
• 59:36
  Speaker 3: I'll figure it out.
• 59:38
  Speaker 1: Have you ever seen six degrees of separation?
• 59:39
  Speaker 3: No? What I didn't. I just thought that was like
• 59:43
  Speaker 3: a concept.
• 59:44
  Speaker 1: No, oh my, one of the girls, well, it was
• 59:47
  Speaker 1: a play, but then it was turned into a movie
• 59:50
  Speaker 1: with Will Smith, Stocker Channing, Donald Sutherland.
• 59:53
  Speaker 3: Oh my god, I just learned about this and Will
• 59:57
  Speaker 3: Smith plays like a gay character.
• 59:59
  Speaker 1: Yes he does, right, Michael Hall. I believe it was
• 1:00:01
  Speaker 1: written by John Guar and I just had to throw
• 1:00:04
  Speaker 1: that out there because it was killing me that I
• 1:00:05
  Speaker 1: didn't remember who wrote it. But it's essentially Will Smith
• 1:00:08
  Speaker 1: is cosplaying as a wealthy Upper east Side guy and
• 1:00:11
  Speaker 1: be friends the super rich families. These like nose in
• 1:00:15
  Speaker 1: the air Upper east Side families. But one of the
• 1:00:18
  Speaker 1: things they do is uh pot of jam. You know
• 1:00:21
  Speaker 1: that if you have to buy a gift for someone,
• 1:00:23
  Speaker 1: you get them a pot of jam. And it's just
• 1:00:25
  Speaker 1: it's actually considered one of the most elegant gifts you
• 1:00:29
  Speaker 1: can really buy, according to this movie from the nineteen
• 1:00:31
  Speaker 1: eighty Oh.
• 1:00:31
  Speaker 3: I agree nineties because a good jam is much better
• 1:00:34
  Speaker 3: than a bad jam. A bad jam, I have no
• 1:00:37
  Speaker 3: interest in that.
• 1:00:38
  Speaker 1: I've had bad jam.
• 1:00:39
  Speaker 3: I've had bad jam, and I've had My mom makes jam?
• 1:00:41
  Speaker 3: Does she incredible? Raspberry jam? Really difference with the seed
• 1:00:46
  Speaker 3: with the seed interesting delicious tart. Most like that most
• 1:00:51
  Speaker 3: jam you buy is too sweet?
• 1:00:53
  Speaker 1: I love a tart, jam I love. I'm not a
• 1:00:56
  Speaker 1: chocolate person, so I like an apricot and an orange
• 1:00:58
  Speaker 1: and greene like a freshman dream. That's haaven for me.
• 1:01:03
  Speaker 3: Take people, jam, I think I answer to the question.
• 1:01:05
  Speaker 1: Of jam and see you have to see six degrees.
• 1:01:08
  Speaker 3: This is the second time it's come up in two months.
• 1:01:10
  Speaker 1: So oh, it's a movie is coming on one of
• 1:01:12
  Speaker 1: the great soundtracks. The best acting you'll recognize half Anthony
• 1:01:15
  Speaker 1: rap is in it. JJ Abrams is in it.
• 1:01:17
  Speaker 3: It's just got everybody interesting. Okay, Well, I feel like
• 1:01:21
  Speaker 3: we answered the question perfectly. Me too, and I now
• 1:01:24
  Speaker 3: am I'm not even hot in the sweatshirt, by the way,
• 1:01:27
  Speaker 3: I usually get very warm in here.
• 1:01:28
  Speaker 1: Garbage. This is what I'm trying to say. I was
• 1:01:30
  Speaker 1: freezing on the flight. I'm like this polyester piece of shit,
• 1:01:34
  Speaker 1: seventeen fifty for what is that the only question?
• 1:01:38
  Speaker 3: That's the only question.
• 1:01:38
  Speaker 1: So that's it. That's not the whole show.
• 1:01:41
  Speaker 3: That's the show's over.
• 1:01:42
  Speaker 1: We've barely I'm plumbed feathers out here, but crotch here.
• 1:01:44
  Speaker 1: We barely even hit the hour.
• 1:01:46
  Speaker 3: I thought we barely hit an hour. Yeah, I've lost
• 1:01:50
  Speaker 3: I'm telling you. I have totally lost track of time, Michelle.
• 1:01:53
  Speaker 3: In a way, something's gone used to my biological like
• 1:01:56
  Speaker 3: internal clock used to be a Swiss act. You know,
• 1:02:01
  Speaker 3: I thought we had just gone the regular length of
• 1:02:02
  Speaker 3: an episode.
• 1:02:03
  Speaker 1: Well, because I make time pass so fast, it sounds
• 1:02:05
  Speaker 1: to me like I deserve a second point for changing
• 1:02:09
  Speaker 1: the time on a watch.
• 1:02:11
  Speaker 3: Well, listen, we can Analise has a gift a curse
• 1:02:14
  Speaker 3: we can do onalse is gonna read us there gift
• 1:02:17
  Speaker 3: to a curse and we both have to answer Analise,
• 1:02:19
  Speaker 3: do you know what it is? We weren't wearing the headphones?
• 1:02:21
  Speaker 1: Gift you a curse?
• 1:02:23
  Speaker 5: Decorating your Christmas tree for Halloween?
• 1:02:26
  Speaker 1: Oh well, my mind hurts from that one. I'm not
• 1:02:29
  Speaker 1: gonna lie. That gave me a little bit of a
• 1:02:31
  Speaker 1: brain pain.
• 1:02:33
  Speaker 3: Have you seen this happen before?
• 1:02:35
  Speaker 1: No?
• 1:02:35
  Speaker 3: Okay?
• 1:02:37
  Speaker 1: Can you no? Because I'm sorry? When do you put
• 1:02:40
  Speaker 1: the Christmas tree up? Okay?
• 1:02:42
  Speaker 3: Well that's a great question. That is a very good question.
• 1:02:46
  Speaker 3: I feel like there's one person I follow on Instagram
• 1:02:50
  Speaker 3: who's out of her mind, and I've spoken about her
• 1:02:52
  Speaker 3: on this podcast a lot of time, and she has
• 1:02:55
  Speaker 3: her Christmas tree up at times at least until Valentine's
• 1:02:59
  Speaker 3: Day becomes a Valentine's state tree. So a real tree,
• 1:03:03
  Speaker 3: it has to be a fake tree must be fake. Yeah,
• 1:03:05
  Speaker 3: otherwise she's begging for a home fire.
• 1:03:07
  Speaker 1: You know, needles galore? What is this train spotting three?
• 1:03:10
  Speaker 1: I mean, we can't have that, Okay, go on.
• 1:03:13
  Speaker 3: So I feel like there is a culture of this,
• 1:03:16
  Speaker 3: and so I wonder if there's some feeling of like, well,
• 1:03:20
  Speaker 3: we'll put up the tree then we want to well
• 1:03:22
  Speaker 3: we want it'll already be up for Christmas, but we'll
• 1:03:26
  Speaker 3: do Halloween. I mean, what do you think gift for
• 1:03:29
  Speaker 3: a curse?
• 1:03:30
  Speaker 1: Listen to me. Look, part of the joy of the
• 1:03:33
  Speaker 1: Christmas season, which I do partake in gladly, is the
• 1:03:38
  Speaker 1: specialness of saving joy for winter. You have to save
• 1:03:44
  Speaker 1: joy and lights. I mean, that's what makes visiting like
• 1:03:46
  Speaker 1: New York or London or a town that gets Christmas y.
• 1:03:49
  Speaker 1: That's what makes it fun. You get to go in November,
• 1:03:51
  Speaker 1: late November, December, see the lights, and then January comes
• 1:03:54
  Speaker 1: and they wax that, they rip it out from under you.
• 1:03:57
  Speaker 1: They go, no, it's over, so that you can appreciate
• 1:04:00
  Speaker 1: it while.
• 1:04:01
  Speaker 3: It's up right right.
• 1:04:02
  Speaker 1: So to me, I think putting your tree up in
• 1:04:04
  Speaker 1: October is sick, especially now that it's so warm in October.
• 1:04:08
  Speaker 1: Number one, But like, also save the joy, make it special.
• 1:04:13
  Speaker 1: So I think decorating also Halloween is a wicked holiday.
• 1:04:16
  Speaker 3: Well, you're famously kind of you don't celebrate any holidays.
• 1:04:21
  Speaker 3: You feel like this is a satanic You know.
• 1:04:23
  Speaker 1: You have a point. I don't really cell Wait, hold on,
• 1:04:25
  Speaker 1: I don't really celebrate holidays. Hold on, no, I actually
• 1:04:28
  Speaker 1: do celebrate like New Year's Christmas. I like, I don't
• 1:04:31
  Speaker 1: celebrate Christmas for religious reasons, but as an American, I
• 1:04:34
  Speaker 1: celebrate it for fun. It's fun. It's just fun to
• 1:04:38
  Speaker 1: you know, get dressed and things like that.
• 1:04:40
  Speaker 3: Yeah, so you're saying curse. Yes, I think I tend
• 1:04:46
  Speaker 3: to agree with that curse. And I think it's kind
• 1:04:48
  Speaker 3: of in the same realm we're doing this to Halloween now,
• 1:04:51
  Speaker 3: where it's like people are starting to decorate for Halloween
• 1:04:53
  Speaker 3: in August and now we're combining it with Christmas. With
• 1:04:56
  Speaker 3: the decorations, now, this is no longer special. Nobody knows
• 1:04:59
  Speaker 3: what this means. It's not the Christmas tree is not scary.
• 1:05:02
  Speaker 3: It's gotta be spooky. You've got to have a spooky decoration.
• 1:05:04
  Speaker 1: Yeah, that's why they're selling skeletons my size at home.
• 1:05:07
  Speaker 1: People put it on your house. If you care so
• 1:05:09
  Speaker 1: much about Halloween, go buy some cotton, put some spiderwebs.
• 1:05:12
  Speaker 3: Up, yes on October first, and have those things down
• 1:05:15
  Speaker 3: November first. I don't care what else is going on
• 1:05:18
  Speaker 3: in your life. Keep it together. I can barely tell
• 1:05:21
  Speaker 3: what time it is. Ever, I can't be driving past
• 1:05:24
  Speaker 3: Halloween decorations mid September.
• 1:05:26
  Speaker 1: When I see those spirit halloweens pop up in August,
• 1:05:28
  Speaker 1: I'm like sick. Ohs. Anyone buying your costume in August
• 1:05:31
  Speaker 1: is sick in the head. I don't want to see
• 1:05:33
  Speaker 1: skulls in August. I don't like it. I don't like
• 1:05:36
  Speaker 1: skulls in general. But because I don't like it's a
• 1:05:39
  Speaker 1: wicked holiday, I don't. I don't even like getny dressed
• 1:05:41
  Speaker 1: up for Halloween. People always think because I'm like a
• 1:05:43
  Speaker 1: funny girl and I like to laugh, they was going,
• 1:05:45
  Speaker 1: you must love Halloween. Hate I love to perform. Hate Halloween.
• 1:05:49
  Speaker 1: It's like how I hate Santa Coon.
• 1:05:50
  Speaker 3: They're just certainly I mean, who who among us likes Santa?
• 1:05:54
  Speaker 1: But there is a commonality there because it's people who
• 1:05:57
  Speaker 1: the whole year they're a little quiet, and I respect it.
• 1:05:59
  Speaker 1: This is their time to shine, then do it. But
• 1:06:01
  Speaker 1: it's just not my time. You know. They use Halloween.
• 1:06:04
  Speaker 1: They're like, this is the night I'm gonna slut it up.
• 1:06:07
  Speaker 1: I'm gonna really go nuts. It's like New Year's you know.
• 1:06:11
  Speaker 1: And I think that's great if that's how you let loose,
• 1:06:14
  Speaker 1: fantastic for me, that's the night that I want to
• 1:06:17
  Speaker 1: truly stain, be at my street, clothes under the covers,
• 1:06:19
  Speaker 1: shoes on, and not leave the house.
• 1:06:22
  Speaker 3: What am I going to get a holiday to slutt
• 1:06:24
  Speaker 3: it up? I don't get where's my holiday for slotting
• 1:06:28
  Speaker 3: around flooding?
• 1:06:28
  Speaker 1: Well, isn't that like pride? Don't be Oh no, that's wrong.
• 1:06:33
  Speaker 3: I feel like Pride's not even for me. They've kicked
• 1:06:35
  Speaker 3: me out of the community. They're keeping me at arms.
• 1:06:38
  Speaker 3: Leg what happens, I'll go with Arbor Day.
• 1:06:41
  Speaker 1: Tree holiday. You can't steal my holiday.
• 1:06:44
  Speaker 3: I've got allow that.
• 1:06:45
  Speaker 1: I have not allow you to impinge and infringe on
• 1:06:50
  Speaker 1: Arbor Day. What about there's got to be something for you.
• 1:06:53
  Speaker 3: Let's see May President's Day. You look like you could
• 1:06:56
  Speaker 3: president on President's Day. Oh yeah, I'm not. I so
• 1:07:00
  Speaker 3: I don't get Saint Patrick's Day.
• 1:07:01
  Speaker 1: What's your background?
• 1:07:02
  Speaker 3: Scottish? English, German?
• 1:07:05
  Speaker 1: Can you get your English passport?
• 1:07:07
  Speaker 3: I should look into that.
• 1:07:08
  Speaker 1: I really should, and then marry me. Sorry, boyfriend. We'll
• 1:07:11
  Speaker 1: have this episode as proof when we fell in love.
• 1:07:13
  Speaker 1: When you show to the government, I'm like, no, this
• 1:07:15
  Speaker 1: was the moment.
• 1:07:15
  Speaker 3: Sparks too.
• 1:07:18
  Speaker 1: We cut the pride stuff out. I'm like no, he
• 1:07:21
  Speaker 1: we locked eyes in our jersey sweatshirts and me.
• 1:07:24
  Speaker 3: We consummated the marriage with this audience. Oh well, I'm
• 1:07:30
  Speaker 3: going to look into a holiday to get slutty. We'll
• 1:07:33
  Speaker 3: find it. Yes, I'll find Easter.
• 1:07:35
  Speaker 1: Oh that's an easy one. Easter is an easy one.
• 1:07:38
  Speaker 3: Rabbit cost now, you know what?
• 1:07:39
  Speaker 1: Even saying that, I'm like, wait, maybe I do need
• 1:07:40
  Speaker 1: to slut it up on hall. I'm gonna be in
• 1:07:42
  Speaker 1: Miami on Halloween.
• 1:07:42
  Speaker 3: What was the last Halloween costume you had?
• 1:07:45
  Speaker 2: Oh?
• 1:07:45
  Speaker 1: My god, I gotta rack my brain. What was the
• 1:07:48
  Speaker 1: last hallowen? I remember that I spent a lot of time.
• 1:07:50
  Speaker 1: I was going to a party this years ago, probably
• 1:07:52
  Speaker 1: pre COVID, okay, and I thought it would be funny
• 1:07:54
  Speaker 1: now mind you, this was in like twenty nineteen. I
• 1:07:56
  Speaker 1: have to defend myself. But I thought it would be
• 1:07:59
  Speaker 1: funny instead of being a basic bitch, to be a
• 1:08:01
  Speaker 1: basic witch. So I bought uggs, I went to a
• 1:08:04
  Speaker 1: T shirt chop and I made the Starbucks logo with
• 1:08:06
  Speaker 1: a witch hat. I was like, bro, you are so funny.
• 1:08:08
  Speaker 1: In my mind, it was the only time I've ever
• 1:08:11
  Speaker 1: really put effort into a costume. Couldn't have been a
• 1:08:15
  Speaker 1: bigger loser on Holloway. I mean it was Oh. I
• 1:08:17
  Speaker 1: put a Starbucks copper on a broom. I was like,
• 1:08:19
  Speaker 1: this is so funny. People are gonna love my basic witch.
• 1:08:22
  Speaker 1: And then even having to say basic witch was humiliation
• 1:08:27
  Speaker 1: off off. I hated every second of that. I was like,
• 1:08:29
  Speaker 1: this is why I hate this holiday. When I was little,
• 1:08:32
  Speaker 1: I had some cute little costumes. I was a freaky kid,
• 1:08:34
  Speaker 1: so I was Skeletor one year star Field that was
• 1:08:38
  Speaker 1: pee wee Like I was like a bit of a
• 1:08:40
  Speaker 1: little weirdo.
• 1:08:41
  Speaker 3: Yeah right, I still am, well, you should dress up
• 1:08:43
  Speaker 3: this year.
• 1:08:44
  Speaker 1: I know what should I be? Pee wee again?
• 1:08:47
  Speaker 3: Pee?
• 1:08:47
  Speaker 1: I love me some peewee.
• 1:08:48
  Speaker 3: I got to buy a suit though, I mean it
• 1:08:50
  Speaker 3: requires that's an expensive costume.
• 1:08:52
  Speaker 1: Actually, I know back in my day it was some
• 1:08:54
  Speaker 1: toys arrests. It was like a right when you can buying.
• 1:08:56
  Speaker 3: On it, potentially a plastic Paul Ruben's face or something.
• 1:09:00
  Speaker 1: Literally what I had, I could be ed guyine. I
• 1:09:02
  Speaker 1: don't know. I would send the news this skin. I thought,
• 1:09:06
  Speaker 1: you're making.
• 1:09:06
  Speaker 3: A big mistake here, which is going topical. Don't go
• 1:09:10
  Speaker 3: topical on Halloween. You will regret it every time because
• 1:09:14
  Speaker 3: you'll look back and be like, oh my god, what
• 1:09:16
  Speaker 3: was I thinking?
• 1:09:17
  Speaker 1: Remember when I was Michael Ducoccus, No one liked that.
• 1:09:20
  Speaker 1: Everybody went, what is she thinking? And I said, people
• 1:09:22
  Speaker 1: are going to be a hit.
• 1:09:24
  Speaker 3: This is the year you should be Michael Ducaccus. Actually, yes,
• 1:09:26
  Speaker 3: this Marilyn Quail.
• 1:09:28
  Speaker 1: That's a good one. There you go, spring hairspray in
• 1:09:30
  Speaker 1: my mouth. I'm like, I'm a drunk. What was her thing?
• 1:09:32
  Speaker 1: I mean I was like ten when that happened, So
• 1:09:34
  Speaker 1: this is me.
• 1:09:34
  Speaker 3: Really what did she do?
• 1:09:36
  Speaker 1: She was an alcoholic and she used to drink hairspray.
• 1:09:38
  Speaker 1: Oh wow, yeah, I remember even as a kid, I
• 1:09:40
  Speaker 1: was like, bad bitch, I love it.
• 1:09:42
  Speaker 3: And you would drink hairspray by with the aerosol.
• 1:09:45
  Speaker 1: Yes, because I think that they were. This is, by
• 1:09:46
  Speaker 1: the way, I'm now lying. I don't know if this
• 1:09:48
  Speaker 1: is what happened out. She definitely drank hairspray that I remember,
• 1:09:51
  Speaker 1: But my theory is obviously that she was dangerous around
• 1:09:55
  Speaker 1: the sauce, and so they sauce freed the house and
• 1:09:58
  Speaker 1: then she was like, well, gotta get a work, and
• 1:10:00
  Speaker 1: then grabbed a white rain can and went to town.
• 1:10:02
  Speaker 1: And we don't consider that huffing because it's spraying. She's
• 1:10:06
  Speaker 1: drinking it. Have you ever killed a bug with hair spray?
• 1:10:09
  Speaker 3: I have no, I haven't, but it works. It seems
• 1:10:11
  Speaker 3: kind of humane.
• 1:10:12
  Speaker 1: I think so too.
• 1:10:13
  Speaker 3: Make them beautiful and then yeah, stop them out, freeze
• 1:10:15
  Speaker 3: them in time.
• 1:10:16
  Speaker 1: Yes, stunning. What are you going to be for Halloween? Bridge?
• 1:10:19
  Speaker 3: I have no plans this year.
• 1:10:21
  Speaker 1: The to Miami. I have a big apartment. I'm doing it.
• 1:10:24
  Speaker 3: The covers genes wait, I would love that.
• 1:10:27
  Speaker 1: Perfect for the government. They love that be like we
• 1:10:28
  Speaker 1: were closing up on well, then we're getting somewhere.
• 1:10:33
  Speaker 3: Okay, we're building a story. We're building a narrative.
• 1:10:36
  Speaker 1: Everyone has a story. Love her. I could be Kathili Giffert.
• 1:10:41
  Speaker 1: What would you call costume? This is hard?
• 1:10:44
  Speaker 3: Last year I went as Jessica Chessain, just trying to
• 1:10:48
  Speaker 3: run a few errands and it works perfectly, funny, it
• 1:10:50
  Speaker 3: worked perfectly. All I had to do is essentially put
• 1:10:52
  Speaker 3: on a wig in some ath leisure and get a
• 1:10:54
  Speaker 3: target bag.
• 1:10:55
  Speaker 1: Bam, that is good. Were you her in Molly's Game?
• 1:10:59
  Speaker 1: Or which version was her?
• 1:11:00
  Speaker 3: Out on the town? Just everyone leave me alone. I
• 1:11:02
  Speaker 3: just need to do a quick target trip. That's who
• 1:11:04
  Speaker 3: I was, and it works. I mean I did have
• 1:11:07
  Speaker 3: to explain it to every single person, which has its
• 1:11:10
  Speaker 3: ups and downs, but I think I got the costume correctly.
• 1:11:13
  Speaker 1: Yeah. I like that a lot. I think it's hard
• 1:11:15
  Speaker 1: being a celebrity, though not for me.
• 1:11:18
  Speaker 3: I pick a redheaded woman and I'm sot on my way.
• 1:11:21
  Speaker 1: I gotta pick a lady with big bones. Who would
• 1:11:23
  Speaker 1: that be? Don't say it. I'm going to be mad.
• 1:11:26
  Speaker 1: Whatever you say. I'm gonna be a fan in that.
• 1:11:28
  Speaker 3: We should have a quick conversation. This is I feel
• 1:11:31
  Speaker 3: like there should at least be an annual reminder to
• 1:11:33
  Speaker 3: every single person on earth. No one ever wants to
• 1:11:35
  Speaker 3: hear who they look like.
• 1:11:36
  Speaker 1: No, don't say it.
• 1:11:38
  Speaker 3: Why in the world would you ever tell somebody that.
• 1:11:41
  Speaker 1: Let me tell you something? It backfires every time I
• 1:11:43
  Speaker 1: think the like sometimes people will say when they think
• 1:11:46
  Speaker 1: is nice, and I'm like, all right, but I won't
• 1:11:49
  Speaker 1: even I'm not gonna say. But it's like it's tough, right.
• 1:11:52
  Speaker 3: You just don't like to hear it, and then you
• 1:11:54
  Speaker 3: start thinking like, oh, what like feature are they zeroing
• 1:11:57
  Speaker 3: in on? It will unsettle you for weeks weeks unless
• 1:12:02
  Speaker 3: it is objectively the most beautiful person alive, no one
• 1:12:05
  Speaker 3: wants to hear.
• 1:12:06
  Speaker 1: A thousand percent.
• 1:12:08
  Speaker 3: And it's shocking how many people don't know that.
• 1:12:11
  Speaker 1: Listen, I've done it, I've said, I said to people,
• 1:12:14
  Speaker 1: I'm sure because sometimes but in my mind it's always
• 1:12:17
  Speaker 1: some when I find attractive.
• 1:12:18
  Speaker 3: Everybody has their type, and your type might be unattractive
• 1:12:21
  Speaker 3: to the person by.
• 1:12:22
  Speaker 1: The way to most Now we're getting somewhere. Actually, yes,
• 1:12:26
  Speaker 1: that is my favorite.
• 1:12:27
  Speaker 3: It was a trap. It's a trap for everybody. Okay,
• 1:12:29
  Speaker 3: so that's a reminder. How did we get here? No
• 1:12:32
  Speaker 3: one ever knows on this podcast.
• 1:12:34
  Speaker 1: Where do we go from here? Did you see Rachel
• 1:12:37
  Speaker 1: Ziegler singing as to a concert with the pladi Oh, interesting.
• 1:12:41
  Speaker 1: No good, very good. I mean she's a real born
• 1:12:45
  Speaker 1: and bred talent, that Rachel. She's very good. Uh really
• 1:12:50
  Speaker 1: blew her pipes on every song. You know there was
• 1:12:52
  Speaker 1: not a moment of She's sang stars from Limaz you know, sure,
• 1:12:55
  Speaker 1: sure in every word.
• 1:12:56
  Speaker 3: My boyfriend was toured with Limaz.
• 1:12:58
  Speaker 1: No as who oh my gosh, he's that funny.
• 1:13:03
  Speaker 3: He's a funny man.
• 1:13:04
  Speaker 1: Hold on, I'm seeing lame Is tomorrow night here in
• 1:13:09
  Speaker 1: la Oh no way, Yes, I was saying, wouldn't that
• 1:13:13
  Speaker 1: be so exciting? Would you want to come? No, you're busy.
• 1:13:17
  Speaker 3: I've seen it once. That's nothing. It's a long show.
• 1:13:22
  Speaker 1: I not long enough. Call up Shoenberg and booble eel
• 1:13:28
  Speaker 1: because I've got notes. I say, more songs, more pain
• 1:13:33
  Speaker 1: I need, I need. You know what I saw? Can
• 1:13:36
  Speaker 1: I say one last thing?
• 1:13:36
  Speaker 3: Yeah?
• 1:13:37
  Speaker 1: Only because I really love the show. I spread the
• 1:13:39
  Speaker 1: gospel of the show to every show I go on
• 1:13:42
  Speaker 1: everyone I meet. Are you going to be in London
• 1:13:44
  Speaker 1: anytime soon?
• 1:13:44
  Speaker 3: No? I wish?
• 1:13:45
  Speaker 1: Why not?
• 1:13:47
  Speaker 3: I have no reason to be there.
• 1:13:48
  Speaker 1: Well, anyway, next time you go to London, listener and
• 1:13:52
  Speaker 1: you you gotta see Oliver Richard.
• 1:13:54
  Speaker 3: People love Oliver.
• 1:13:56
  Speaker 1: I hate children, you know that. I thought, I don't
• 1:13:59
  Speaker 1: want to see it. I don't care, and I went
• 1:14:03
  Speaker 1: almost as a favor. I went because a friend had
• 1:14:05
  Speaker 1: tickets and said, you want to go see it, and
• 1:14:07
  Speaker 1: I thought, well, I guess for free. I'll go to
• 1:14:09
  Speaker 1: anything for free, and I went. By the end, I
• 1:14:13
  Speaker 1: was buying merch. I was crazed. I was like out
• 1:14:15
  Speaker 1: of my head at Oliver, it's I think it might be.
• 1:14:18
  Speaker 1: Hello Dolly is one of the greatest shows I've seen live?
• 1:14:21
  Speaker 3: Did you see it with Bette Midler?
• 1:14:22
  Speaker 1: I was too poor. I saw with Donna Murphy, but
• 1:14:24
  Speaker 1: it was just as good. I saw with Gavin and
• 1:14:25
  Speaker 1: Beani and everybody, but it was Donna. Donna was great.
• 1:14:27
  Speaker 3: I got to see bet No dear luck unbelievable. I mean,
• 1:14:32
  Speaker 3: she's like a birthday party.
• 1:14:34
  Speaker 1: You're so it was. I couldn't the tickets looks.
• 1:14:36
  Speaker 3: We got a deal. Thank god.
• 1:14:40
  Speaker 1: I have no connections, so I had no deal. But
• 1:14:43
  Speaker 1: I saw Hello Dolly. Lay Miss is one of my
• 1:14:45
  Speaker 1: top of all time, but it was top three easily
• 1:14:47
  Speaker 1: of best live shows ever.
• 1:14:48
  Speaker 3: Okay, I'm gonna have to look into Oliver.
• 1:14:50
  Speaker 1: You have no clue what you're getting yourselves down the track.
• 1:14:52
  Speaker 1: Listen to the original with Jonathan Price. Okay, it'll really
• 1:14:56
  Speaker 1: get you in the mood. And I got to say everyone,
• 1:14:59
  Speaker 1: the those kids, I would have a child. I would
• 1:15:02
  Speaker 1: if I could guarantee talent. I'm being deadly serious. If
• 1:15:06
  Speaker 1: you could tell me, then shall have a child. And
• 1:15:08
  Speaker 1: then in five, six years, ten, fifteen, twenty years, your
• 1:15:11
  Speaker 1: kid will be blowing hole. That's not what I want
• 1:15:14
  Speaker 1: to say, blowing their pipes on a West End stage.
• 1:15:20
  Speaker 1: Forget it. In a second, roll the dice, see if
• 1:15:23
  Speaker 1: it happens. Oh, I couldn't possibly. Thank God for our
• 1:15:26
  Speaker 1: parents are so blessed. Of course we get to watch
• 1:15:28
  Speaker 1: us do what we do.
• 1:15:29
  Speaker 3: Shine. This is my parents, Oliver, this podcast.
• 1:15:35
  Speaker 1: I love it so much. Okay, I'm done. We can
• 1:15:37
  Speaker 1: wrap now. Thank you. I got the extra time I needed.
• 1:15:39
  Speaker 3: No, I'm so happy.
• 1:15:40
  Speaker 1: I had the best time.
• 1:15:41
  Speaker 3: Thank you. So I'm so happy to have the sweatshirt.
• 1:15:43
  Speaker 3: I'm so happy we actually got to do the podcast.
• 1:15:46
  Speaker 1: Me too. We I'm gonna ask you though, when you
• 1:15:47
  Speaker 1: get gifts, do you ever not like the gift that
• 1:15:49
  Speaker 1: people give you?
• 1:15:50
  Speaker 3: Oh?
• 1:15:50
  Speaker 1: I get a lot of crap, and you say.
• 1:15:51
  Speaker 3: It if it's really a bad item, we'll discuss how
• 1:15:54
  Speaker 3: bad it is.
• 1:15:55
  Speaker 1: Got it okay?
• 1:15:55
  Speaker 3: Good? You know, Usually it's like it's at least something
• 1:15:58
  Speaker 3: cute or interesting enough to like display or something. But
• 1:16:01
  Speaker 3: occasionally it's something that just has to be shoved in
• 1:16:04
  Speaker 3: a cupboard. And then there have been some real There
• 1:16:07
  Speaker 3: have been like I think three bomb gifts, which I
• 1:16:11
  Speaker 3: won't say which I leave that up to the listener
• 1:16:13
  Speaker 3: to guess. But otherwise it's something to talk about. What's
• 1:16:17
  Speaker 3: the best gift you've gotten. It's a very good question.
• 1:16:20
  Speaker 1: Have you always been? Is that like a common one?
• 1:16:22
  Speaker 3: Yeah, and I feel like it's a tie. I would
• 1:16:24
  Speaker 3: say for practicality, I got a car garbage can from
• 1:16:30
  Speaker 3: the comedy writer John Milstein, and it's changed my life.
• 1:16:34
  Speaker 3: The other thing that felt, I'm never getting married. I
• 1:16:36
  Speaker 3: have no interest in getting married, and I'm so jealous
• 1:16:38
  Speaker 3: of people who get married and get to get appliances
• 1:16:41
  Speaker 3: they don't need. Cola Skull gave me a very nice
• 1:16:44
  Speaker 3: waffle maker.
• 1:16:45
  Speaker 1: Wow, we love some Cola Skull. I mean, of course
• 1:16:49
  Speaker 1: brought the best gift.
• 1:16:50
  Speaker 3: It's truly one of those things where it is like
• 1:16:52
  Speaker 3: I would have never considered purchasing this waffle maker, and
• 1:16:56
  Speaker 3: now I have this nice you use it. I've used
• 1:16:58
  Speaker 3: it a couple.
• 1:16:58
  Speaker 1: Of gonna use this more than I don't care who
• 1:17:02
  Speaker 1: has won a Tony on this show. I don't care
• 1:17:04
  Speaker 1: what awards meaningless. I'm sorry. I I've won an award
• 1:17:11
  Speaker 1: in my time, and I think that you will get
• 1:17:13
  Speaker 1: more use out of your new jersey sweatshirts.
• 1:17:14
  Speaker 3: I'm going to make a waffle in this sweatshirt.
• 1:17:17
  Speaker 1: I'd like to see it.
• 1:17:18
  Speaker 3: Do everybody proud?
• 1:17:19
  Speaker 1: That's sweet? Okay, I'll accept. Thank you well, thank you
• 1:17:21
  Speaker 1: so much for having me. I adore you funniest before.
• 1:17:24
  Speaker 3: Before we exit, let let it be known.
• 1:17:26
  Speaker 5: Let the record show that you're both incorrect and that
• 1:17:30
  Speaker 5: decorating in the tree for Halloween is in fact a gift.
• 1:17:36
  Speaker 1: So selfish, go on listen.
• 1:17:40
  Speaker 5: I'm I am a big Halloween head, though, so I
• 1:17:42
  Speaker 5: I don't.
• 1:17:43
  Speaker 1: I really do have a horse in this race.
• 1:17:45
  Speaker 5: I love being able to celebrate it for a little
• 1:17:47
  Speaker 5: bit longer than we.
• 1:17:51
  Speaker 1: Can question.
• 1:17:53
  Speaker 5: Well, I have some good incandescent lights that are purple
• 1:17:58
  Speaker 5: and orange. I get some spooky decorations.
• 1:18:00
  Speaker 3: You think because you're behind that glass, you're safe.
• 1:18:03
  Speaker 5: Oh I know, I know.
• 1:18:05
  Speaker 1: I am Anally's. Can I ask you a question? Sure?
• 1:18:07
  Speaker 1: Are you particular about where you buy your Halloween uh?
• 1:18:10
  Speaker 1: Accoutrement or decor?
• 1:18:12
  Speaker 3: Like?
• 1:18:12
  Speaker 1: Will you go to Michael's or is that beneath you?
• 1:18:14
  Speaker 1: Are you kidding? I love a Michael's CIGARETI did, and
• 1:18:17
  Speaker 1: that's funny. And I want to ask another question. Do
• 1:18:19
  Speaker 1: you think your obsession with Halloween is connected to any
• 1:18:22
  Speaker 1: trauma from your child?
• 1:18:25
  Speaker 3: I think it is for everybody.
• 1:18:26
  Speaker 1: It has to be, I mean, for that's why I
• 1:18:28
  Speaker 1: don't like.
• 1:18:29
  Speaker 3: It, you know any interesting?
• 1:18:30
  Speaker 1: Probably?
• 1:18:30
  Speaker 5: Yeah, I think everybody has their own reasons for liking
• 1:18:33
  Speaker 5: scary things. I think for me it is a little
• 1:18:36
  Speaker 5: bit of like, I am an anxious person and it
• 1:18:39
  Speaker 5: is like, uh, it's controlled fears. And honestly, I'm to
• 1:18:44
  Speaker 5: bring it full circle to the beginning of the podcast,
• 1:18:46
  Speaker 5: surprised you don't like it more because Halloween and a
• 1:18:48
  Speaker 5: lot of films are all about standing up for yourself.
• 1:18:50
  Speaker 3: So interesting.
• 1:18:51
  Speaker 1: Yeah, We're gonna have to later episode because I'm not
• 1:18:55
  Speaker 1: seeing the connection there. But Iyadoria and I love you
• 1:18:58
  Speaker 1: and thanks for having me.
• 1:18:59
  Speaker 3: Thank you for being here and listener the podcast. You
• 1:19:02
  Speaker 3: know it's over, you know yet you kind of got tricked.
• 1:19:06
  Speaker 3: But this is the final part of the podcast where
• 1:19:09
  Speaker 3: I say goodbye. I kick you out of the boat
• 1:19:11
  Speaker 3: and you learn to swim. I love you goodbye. I said,
• 1:19:19
  Speaker 3: No Gifts is an exactly right production. Our senior producer
• 1:19:23
  Speaker 3: is on Alisa Nelson, and our episodes are beautifully mixed
• 1:19:26
  Speaker 3: by Ben Tolliday. The theme song is by miracle Worker
• 1:19:30
  Speaker 3: Amy Mann, and we couldn't do it without our booker,
• 1:19:33
  Speaker 3: Patrick Cottner. You must follow the show on Instagram at
• 1:19:37
  Speaker 3: I said no Gifts, That's where you're going to see
• 1:19:39
  Speaker 3: pictures of all these wonderful gifts I'm getting. And don't
• 1:19:42
  Speaker 3: you want to see the gifts?
• 1:19:44
  Speaker 1: And why did you hear? Fun?
• 1:19:48
  Speaker 2: A man myself perfectly clear? But you're I guess you
• 1:19:56
  Speaker 2: gotta come to me empty And I said, no, guest,
• 1:20:02
  Speaker 2: your own presence is presents enough. I already had too
• 1:20:09
  Speaker 2: much stuff, So how do you dare to surbey me?