Latest / Your Money, Your Rules | Financial Mastery, Wealth Mindset, Leadership Principles, Intuitive Decision-Making, Human Design / 114 | 3 Ways to Separate Your Net Worth from Your Self-Worth
Transcript
- 0:00Erin Gray: You ever catch yourself measuring your value by how much money you have or don't have, or maybe the revenue of your business.
- 0:07Erin Gray: This can be especially tricky for us female entrepreneurs, because I believe that a lot of us were taught that our value and our self-worth is to be measured by something external, outside of us, and today's episode is all about breaking free from that belief that your money defines your worth.
- 0:24Erin Gray: I'm going to share how to separate your financial situation from your self-esteem and your worth so that you can build a thriving business with confidence, not from a place of financial validation.
- 0:38Erin Gray: Do you want to create a system to stop avoiding your money?
- 0:41Erin Gray: Maybe you're feeling guilt and shame when it comes to your finances.
- 0:45Erin Gray: Welcome to your Money, your Rules.
- 0:48Erin Gray: I'm Erin, a former certified financial planner and CFO, and yet I used to avoid my money and had fear, no matter how much we had.
- 0:56Erin Gray: I can't wait to teach you how I overcame my money avoidance and started consistently managing my finances in a really simple way.
- 1:04Erin Gray: It's time to get comfortable with money.
- 1:07Erin Gray: If you're ready to untangle your relationship with money, not just on paper the deep in your body and your spirit.
- 1:14Erin Gray: I want you to know that you don't have to do this alone.
- 1:17Erin Gray: You know, so many of us carry stories about our worth, our worthiness, that get wrapped up in our bank accounts, in our income or how good we are or aren't with our money, and I want you to know that your value has never been defined by a number, nor will it ever be.
- 1:35Erin Gray: It is inherent.
- 1:36Erin Gray: Your worthiness, your lovability and your deservedness is just who you are.
- 1:42Erin Gray: In our one-on-one money sessions, we will gently separate your financial story from your personal worth.
- 1:52Erin Gray: You know, together we're going to create a clear, grounded plan that helps you feel safe, that you feel empowered and you feel aligned with your money and yourself.
- 2:02Erin Gray: And if that feels like something that you have been craving, I would love for you to book a session.
- 2:08Erin Gray: You can head over to my website, generatealifewelllivedcom, and I would be honored to walk this path with you.
- 2:15Erin Gray: So if you are like many entrepreneurs, especially women, those are primarily the people that I help.
- 2:22Erin Gray: I have helped some men, but obviously I market to women.
- 2:24Erin Gray: You may have learned people that I help.
- 2:25Erin Gray: I have helped some men, but obviously I market to women.
- 2:26Erin Gray: You know you may have learned to tie your self-worth directly to how much money you make or what you do or the value that you provide.
- 2:36Erin Gray: And I want you to know that your money is simply a tool to build your life and your business.
- 2:43Erin Gray: It is not a reflection of your inherent value, of your lovability, of your deservedness.
- 2:50Erin Gray: Those things are completely separate.
- 2:54Erin Gray: You know, if you're like many of the women that I help, you may have learned to tie your self-worth, your lovability, your deservedness to something outside of you, right To an external thing like conditional and, in this specific example, right To how much money you make or maybe the amount of money that you have.
- 3:14Erin Gray: And I want you to know that your money is simply a tool to build your life and your business.
- 3:21Erin Gray: It is not a reflection of your inherent value.
- 3:25Erin Gray: And the reason why that this is problematic when we put our worth, our deservedness, our lovability in something outside of us.
- 3:33Erin Gray: Because when it is tied to some external thing, like your bank balance or how much money you have in an account, you are going you could I don't want to say you're going to but right what happens is we fall into these cycles of self-criticism because when we put our worth on something external of us, it a lot of times we feel afraid to charge what our perceived value is because, deep down, we feel like our worth isn't enough unless we hit some type of financial milestone.
- 4:07Erin Gray: And if you're like me and most of my clients, you're going to constantly be moving this, this goalpost, right Versus knowing right that who you are, knowing your self-worth, knowing your lovability and deservedness, is who you are.
- 4:25Erin Gray: And this can create this unhealthy relationship with money.
- 4:29Erin Gray: And I always like to ask, like, does it actually serve you?
- 4:33Erin Gray: When you put your worth outside of yourself and those numbers change, do you make them mean something about you?
- 4:40Erin Gray: You know, and if you are, is that actually serving you?
- 4:44Erin Gray: Does that actually feel empowered?
- 4:46Erin Gray: You know, the first step is always awareness.
- 4:49Erin Gray: We don't have to go down the rabbit hole and sometimes you can easily identify, like I know that mine came from my upbringing, right, and I'm sure it also came from society.
- 5:00Erin Gray: I mean, think about how much, like report cards, if you were a straight A student, you got treated differently.
- 5:06Erin Gray: If you never missed a day of school, you got treated differently.
- 5:09Erin Gray: Like all of this praise comes from this external like.
- 5:13Erin Gray: How often are we taught to praise ourselves and celebrate ourselves just because of who we are?
- 5:19Erin Gray: Most of the time, we're taught it comes from some external thing, right.
- 5:22Erin Gray: So really identifying, you know, if it feels good to you, like where did this belief come from?
- 5:27Erin Gray: And we, once we know, like we can let it go, and if you don't want to, you know, search or figure it out.
- 5:35Erin Gray: And I don't even want to say search, like if you don't want to ponder this, that's okay too, like we can just release this, you know.
- 5:40Erin Gray: Two is really like, on a soul level, really starting to separate your value as a human from your finances.
- 5:50Erin Gray: And the reason why we know that this is not factual is because there are people that have way more money than you that feel really good about themselves, and there are people that have way more money than you that feel really bad about themselves, right, right.
- 6:06Erin Gray: And so we know that it cannot be because of money.
- 6:09Erin Gray: Money does not make us feel any certain way.
- 6:12Erin Gray: That has to come from within.
- 6:15Erin Gray: So you are worthy because you exist, because you are a once in a lifetime beautiful event, not because of what you can offer the world, not because of the zeros in your bank account, not because of you know bank account, not because of you know how much money you've made this this month.
- 6:35Erin Gray: You are worthy because you are here.
- 6:39Erin Gray: And the third step that I would recommend is start to use money as a tool to reflect your values, not to define who you are.
- 6:47Erin Gray: Because I will say this if you are attached or you believe that your money is who you are determines your worth, you know this because you can think back on when you didn't have as much money as you have now.
- 7:04Erin Gray: You're going to just amplify those feelings the more money that you have.
- 7:08Erin Gray: So it's really important to start breaking down and breaking apart.
- 7:12Erin Gray: Your identity has nothing to do with your money.
- 7:14Erin Gray: You are whole and worthy and lovable and loving and deserving because you are here.
- 7:23Erin Gray: So when you start to break apart, you know who you are as a person versus you know the money that you generate.
- 7:34Erin Gray: Making money becomes less about that validation and more about creating impact.
- 7:41Erin Gray: You get to see that the more money that you make is because you've served more people, not because you're more valuable, right?
- 7:50Erin Gray: Not because you finally get to say, okay, now I can appreciate myself.
- 7:57Erin Gray: You know, I was having this conversation with a client the other day and I said how often are you celebrating yourself?
- 8:03Erin Gray: And she was like not very.
- 8:05Erin Gray: I mean, I only will celebrate, you know, once I hit my goal, I'm like why?
- 8:08Erin Gray: Why would you ever withhold the fun, the love, the nourishment, the celebration from yourself until you hit that goal?
- 8:17Erin Gray: Like, you get to have fun and you get to enjoy and you get to celebrate yourself because of who you are, not because of some goal that you're reaching.
- 8:25Erin Gray: But I also understand that this is the world that we live in.
- 8:28Erin Gray: This is how most of us were brought up right.
- 8:30Erin Gray: Most of our parents weren't like.
- 8:32Erin Gray: I am so proud of you because you exist on this planet.
- 8:35Erin Gray: You know, most of us don't have those parents that were conscious enough and aware.
- 8:40Erin Gray: And I love you, mom, if you're listening and you know what.
- 8:43Erin Gray: You know how they learned that?
- 8:44Erin Gray: Because their parents did the same thing to them and their parents did the same thing to them.
- 8:47Erin Gray: Right, but we get to do it differently.
- 8:49Erin Gray: We get to do it differently for ourselves and we get to do it differently for our children.
- 8:53Erin Gray: So, you know, you get to say you know what I'm so proud of you?
- 8:57Erin Gray: Just because you, you were here today.
- 8:59Erin Gray: I love you.
- 9:00Erin Gray: I love you just as you are and everything else that you do is just.
- 9:04Erin Gray: You know, an add on it is.
- 9:05Erin Gray: It is not who you are.
- 9:10Erin Gray: So, celebrating your progress you know learning how to shift or or you know change your identity is start becoming the person or just decide, be the person that celebrates your progress, instead of looking at how far you need to go Like so often we think about how far we have yet to go versus how far we've come like celebrate everything.
- 9:34Erin Gray: And in the beginning this might be really hard for you.
- 9:36Erin Gray: I know when I was starting this journey I literally would take my journal and it would.
- 9:43Erin Gray: I would just sit there for minutes and be like what do I actually want to celebrate?
- 9:48Erin Gray: Because I was so hard on myself, and so this is a skill set and this is a practice that you get better at the more you do.
- 9:55Erin Gray: So you know celebrating every win along the way, no matter how small, and this is what I want to say.
- 10:02Erin Gray: There is no right or wrong here, but it feels so good in the body, it feels so good to say I am so proud of you.
- 10:10Erin Gray: I am like I'll cry right now saying it.
- 10:12Erin Gray: I am so proud of how far you have come.
- 10:15Erin Gray: Like that feels good, like that is the love that we are wanting, that our soul and our body.
- 10:22Erin Gray: This vessel is wanting, like why are we withholding that from ourselves?
- 10:25Erin Gray: Give that to ourselves.
- 10:27Erin Gray: You know, looking at your self-worth separately, so cultivating practices that help you connect with your inherent worth, right?
- 10:38Erin Gray: This can be through affirmations that feel good and true to your body.
- 10:43Erin Gray: This can be through mindfulness.
- 10:44Erin Gray: This can be through working with a coach.
- 10:48Erin Gray: You know, if you resonate with me, come schedule a one-on-one session and like let's start working on this together.
- 10:53Erin Gray: Like this is some of the best work that we will ever do.
- 10:57Erin Gray: You know, I say that we do money work and we do, you know, in the 3D we do do money work, but what we really do is soul work.
- 11:04Erin Gray: We do the loving ourselves work.
- 11:06Erin Gray: We do that deep soul connection, appreciation work that we have withheld from ourselves.
- 11:16Erin Gray: You know, really, starting to, one question I love to ask is at what point, what age was there?
- 11:24Erin Gray: And sometimes the answer is like I never felt this way.
- 11:27Erin Gray: But like when did you start to feel like you had to earn your worth?
- 11:30Erin Gray: Like, for me, it was probably in this.
- 11:33Erin Gray: This doesn't necessarily mean that this is what our parents told us, right?
- 11:37Erin Gray: This is just what we perceived to be what we had to earn.
- 11:42Erin Gray: You know, a lot of times around the age of 10, 12, 14, like our parents want to teach us, you know, to start generating money, to to learn the value of a dollar, to learn how to manage our money.
- 11:56Erin Gray: But sometimes it gets kind of murky or cloudy because it kind of was like, well, you need to earn your keep right, almost as if like just living and being, you know, living underneath the house wasn't enough.
- 12:12Erin Gray: It's like you have to earn it versus no.
- 12:16Erin Gray: Like what I tell our daughter now is like you know you are whole and worthy just for who.
- 12:24Erin Gray: You are Right, and it's important that you learn that how money is created.
- 12:29Erin Gray: Money is created based on the value that we provide to someone.
- 12:31Erin Gray: So it's important that you learn that how money is created.
- 12:32Erin Gray: Money is created based on the value that we provide to someone.
- 12:33Erin Gray: So it's important that you start to understand and learn how money works.
- 12:38Erin Gray: I'm not saying she needs to earn her keep and you know she's not worth it if she's not making money.
- 12:44Erin Gray: That's not what I'm saying.
- 12:45Erin Gray: I'm trying to teach her that you know generating money is an empowering thing, and why would we want to generate money?
- 12:53Erin Gray: But from that place of we are whole and we are worthy and we are lovable just as we are right now.
- 13:01Erin Gray: And I think that in a world where we're talking about abundance, sometimes that might be too far of a jump for our nervous system.
- 13:11Erin Gray: But I really think, getting to the place of sufficiency.
- 13:14Erin Gray: Because when we can get to the place of sufficiency, of having enough, of being enough right, then we can start to be like okay, you know more, we want more.
- 13:26Erin Gray: Or, and we want to have more, but not from the place of not enough, we want more because what are we capable of?
- 13:35Erin Gray: And so when we can really embrace sufficiency, embracing where we are right now, like there's the identity of, like who we are loving, who we are, and also externally, like what are the things that we are so grateful for right now?
- 13:54Erin Gray: And then, from there, wanting more, but not from a place of lack, from a place of sufficiency.
- 14:01Erin Gray: So, if you take anything away from today's episode, what I want you to really start to ponder is an understand and like there's one thing to know it intellectually, there is another for you to embody it to you, for you to feel it in your soul.
- 14:19Erin Gray: Right, you are worthy right now because you are here, because God's spirit source decided that you needed to be on this planet.
- 14:28Erin Gray: You know your money, your revenue, the amount in your accounts.
- 14:33Erin Gray: They do not define you how you want to use your money as a tool that's going to reflect your values, the life that you're building.
- 14:44Erin Gray: You know your purpose, how you want to circulate your money.
- 14:47Erin Gray: That is something we're celebrating.
- 14:49Erin Gray: But who you are as a person has has nothing to do with any external factor or any external thing, because as long as we put our worth in something external, it's always going to change Right and and we are disempowering ourselves by putting our worth and our lovability and something, anything, outside of us.
- 15:15Erin Gray: So if you are tired of constantly measuring your worth to your bank balance and feeling you know not enough or inadequate and you're really ready to connect your you know with your true value, I am here to help you and to support you and to guide you along your journey.
- 15:34Erin Gray: Like this is some of the my most favorite work to do with clients, because even though we are working through your money, we are really starting to work through and get to the heart of like really empowering you to come back home to yourself, to remember who you are, to remember that you are an amazing individual just because you exist, that you deserve to be celebrated, and that when we feel whole, when we remember right I always liked it's like we're not going out and finding or creating right, like we are remembering who we are, when we remember that we are whole, that we are worthy, that we are deserving of having everything that we want in this one precious life, that we are complete just as we are and that we can have things because we want them, not because we need them to feel any way about ourselves Like everything shifts to schedule a session.
- 16:32Erin Gray: You can head over to my website generate a life well, livecom and click on the link work with me and schedule a session.
- 16:39Erin Gray: You deserve to feel whole and worthy and deserving just because you exist.
- 16:48Erin Gray: I'm looking forward to working with you and until next time, I would love it If you would leave a review for this podcast.
- 16:55Erin Gray: It helps the show grow and I love hearing from you.
- 16:58Erin Gray: And if this episode resonated with you and you have a business bestie who is also avoiding her money, will you share this episode with her?
- 17:06Erin Gray: My mission is to help more female entrepreneurs feel safe and empowered with their money.
- 17:12Erin Gray: Okay, I'll see you in the next episode.