Latest / We! / I Am Excited to Learn How to Keep Moving Forward Because I Don’t Want to Go Back to Who I Used to Be — The Emotional Growth That Helped Me Trust My Higher Power as I Become the Person I Was Born to Be

Transcript

I Am Excited to Learn How to Keep Moving Forward Because I Don’t Want to Go Back to Who I Used to Be — The Emotional Growth That Helped Me Trust My Higher Power as I Become the Person I Was Born to Be · We!

0:01
SPEAKER_01: If you felt lonely, isolated, disconnected, with an empty feeling inside and just yearning for more, knowing something is missing, then this podcast is for you.
0:16
SPEAKER_01: So here's your host, Joe Mittigan.
0:27
SPEAKER_00: Hello, and welcome to We.
0:32
SPEAKER_00: There comes a point in our healing when something begins to change.
0:39
SPEAKER_00: For a long time, I thought healing was about fixing what hurt.
0:44
SPEAKER_00: I wanted to understand my pain.
0:46
SPEAKER_00: I wanted to understand my fear.
0:50
SPEAKER_00: I wanted to understand why I felt so lonely, overwhelmed, anxious, angry, or stuck all the time.
0:59
SPEAKER_00: And you know what?
1:01
SPEAKER_00: Little by little, I began to heal.
1:04
SPEAKER_00: But something happened that I wasn't really expecting.
1:09
SPEAKER_00: As I started healing, I began to realize that I didn't want to go back to the person I used to be.
1:19
SPEAKER_00: Not because that person was bad, of course.
1:22
SPEAKER_00: That person, the old me, was doing the best I knew how to do.
1:28
SPEAKER_00: Though, quite honestly, I was simply surviving.
1:32
SPEAKER_00: I was reacting to life through the pain, through my fears.
1:37
SPEAKER_00: Of course, the old beliefs and the experiences that had shaped my entire life.
1:43
SPEAKER_00: But as I began to understand myself emotionally and spiritually, I started to see something I could never see before.
1:54
SPEAKER_00: Healing wasn't only changing how I felt, healing was changing who I was becoming.
2:02
SPEAKER_00: And that realization, quite honestly, was pretty exciting.
2:07
SPEAKER_00: But to tell you the truth, it was more than just a little scary.
2:12
SPEAKER_00: Because when we begin letting go of who we used to be, we don't always know exactly who we're becoming.
2:22
SPEAKER_00: The old version of ourselves, it's familiar.
2:27
SPEAKER_00: Old thoughts are familiar, old relationships are familiar, old reactions are familiar.
2:37
SPEAKER_00: Even old pain can feel familiar.
2:41
SPEAKER_00: And sometimes, believe it or not, those familiar feelings feel safer than the unknown.
2:49
SPEAKER_00: Even when we know the familiar isn't where we want to live anymore.
2:55
SPEAKER_00: And that's where I found myself.
2:58
SPEAKER_00: I knew I wanted to keep moving forward.
3:01
SPEAKER_00: I knew I didn't want to go backwards.
3:04
SPEAKER_00: But I was beginning to understand that moving forward would require something more than simply changing my circumstances.
3:13
SPEAKER_00: I had to learn to trust the person I was becoming.
3:18
SPEAKER_00: And even more importantly, I had to learn to trust that my higher power might know who that person was before I did.
3:30
SPEAKER_00: Maybe I didn't need to have the rest of my life all figured out.
3:35
SPEAKER_00: Maybe I didn't need to know exactly where this journey was taking me.
3:40
SPEAKER_00: Maybe my responsibility was simply to keep growing, keep healing, keep learning, and keep taking the next step.
3:52
SPEAKER_00: Because perhaps the purpose of everything I had been through wasn't simply to help me feel better.
4:00
SPEAKER_00: Perhaps it was preparing me to become someone new, someone more loving, someone more peaceful, someone more courageous, someone more connected, someone capable of living with purpose and helping other people along the way.
4:23
SPEAKER_00: And today, I have to tell you, I'm pretty excited because I never look back, and I am super excited that I'm always moving forward.
4:34
SPEAKER_00: I'm excited to discover who I'm becoming tomorrow because today it's been a pretty good day.
4:43
SPEAKER_00: My name is Joe Mittig, and this is We.
4:48
SPEAKER_00: Welcome everybody.
4:50
SPEAKER_00: Welcome to the We podcast.
4:52
SPEAKER_00: And as always, I want to just tell you how grateful I am that you're all here with me.
4:57
SPEAKER_00: And it's been an exciting week.
5:01
SPEAKER_00: This weekend has been kind of peaceful, quite honestly.
5:04
SPEAKER_00: My world is one of those that's kind of I'm a half empty nester.
5:09
SPEAKER_00: I'm a two-thirds empty nester.
5:11
SPEAKER_00: My oldest son is in college now, and my dog of almost 12 years, Zeus, passed away a couple of weeks ago.
5:19
SPEAKER_00: So used to be a household of four, and the two loudest ones, my dog and my oldest, are now in their next adventure.
5:28
SPEAKER_00: And myself and my youngest son, Ryan, you know, we have a wonderful time together.
5:33
SPEAKER_00: Ryan spends a lot of time with his mom.
5:35
SPEAKER_00: So my silence and my stillness has really been quite amazing.
5:39
SPEAKER_00: And I have to tell you, I'm excited to share that the peace in my heart today is really it kind of takes my breath, to be honest with you.
5:48
SPEAKER_00: Sometimes I remember back on how just chaotic and how crazy and how painful and how hurting and all of life used to be.
5:56
SPEAKER_00: And now it's just not.
5:58
SPEAKER_00: It's really not.
6:00
SPEAKER_00: And, you know, this is a great topic I have for us today.
6:04
SPEAKER_00: The whole idea of moving forward and the emotional growth that helped me move forward, and this whole concept of not only what a higher power is, but trusting a higher power and then acting on it based on trust.
6:21
SPEAKER_00: You know, I've said years ago, what is faith?
6:24
SPEAKER_00: Faith is trust and action.
6:26
SPEAKER_00: And you can have all the faith in the world, but if you don't take action on it, nothing really changes.
6:32
SPEAKER_00: And, you know, I'm here to share that it's time.
6:38
SPEAKER_00: And, you know, the The We podcast is a podcast where I have a calling, quite honestly, to challenge some of the social norms.
6:49
SPEAKER_00: If you've listened to any of my podcasts, I do it around a religion a lot, with no judgment, no right or wrong.
6:56
SPEAKER_00: I'm a guy who says, if the it is working for you, please keep doing it.
7:01
SPEAKER_00: And I applaud you.
7:03
SPEAKER_00: And your it and my it are, I'm sure, very different in a lot of ways.
7:10
SPEAKER_00: But the reason for the podcast originally, its initial form, and this is my 52nd episode, was to truly honor this thing called spiritual growth, people considering themselves more spiritual than religious.
7:25
SPEAKER_00: And the reason I talk from that side is because that's my path.
7:32
SPEAKER_00: Now, if I was deeply religious or in the Christian world, or you know, more from a place of the Bible, I would be here sharing those experiences, but I'm not, you know, religion didn't work for me.
7:50
SPEAKER_00: I have some wonderful people that it worked for their whole lives.
7:54
SPEAKER_00: Some of the kindest, most loving people were deeply Catholic.
8:00
SPEAKER_00: My priest, Father Cam, he saved my life.
8:05
SPEAKER_00: And I don't mean figuratively, I mean literally.
8:09
SPEAKER_00: It was a man that in the eighth grade, my dad was never around, and he would go out of his way to come pick me up, take me in the car, and he's the one that helped me, taught me how to lift weights.
8:23
SPEAKER_00: Now, as I grew older, he knew straight up I did not believe his message from the pulpit.
8:30
SPEAKER_00: I didn't, but I believed his living, and that's what I talk about here.
8:37
SPEAKER_00: I talk about a monolithic God and love.
8:40
SPEAKER_00: The foundation of all essence is a monolithic God and love.
8:47
SPEAKER_00: How you get there, I'm not to judge.
8:50
SPEAKER_00: I can only share my experience, strength, and hope.
8:55
SPEAKER_00: So I'm glad you're here.
8:58
SPEAKER_00: I've said it a thousand times.
9:00
SPEAKER_00: If you can make it through my podcast, you are an absolute spiritual warrior.
9:05
SPEAKER_00: My last podcast on sexual abuse, it's one of the top podcasts now out there in my episodes.
9:12
SPEAKER_00: And you can make it through that.
9:14
SPEAKER_00: I applaud you.
9:15
SPEAKER_00: That was not an easy conversation.
9:18
SPEAKER_00: And it was one, it was, it was actually the one podcast that it took me a long time in preparation.
9:27
SPEAKER_00: You know, I'm a guy that pretty much I speak from the heart and I share what I'm feeling, I share my experience, I let everybody know.
9:37
SPEAKER_00: I'm not a doctor, I'm not a researcher, I'm not a therapist, I'm certainly not a teacher.
9:43
SPEAKER_00: I'm just a guy.
9:44
SPEAKER_00: And, you know, I say that all the time, but I'm not kidding.
9:47
SPEAKER_00: I'm just a guy.
9:48
SPEAKER_00: And it's interesting because if you saw me, if you would say, Well, who is this Joe guy?
9:53
SPEAKER_00: You know who I am?
9:54
SPEAKER_00: I'm the man sitting next to you at church.
9:57
SPEAKER_00: I'm the man sitting next to you at the baseball game.
10:00
SPEAKER_00: Look across the grocery aisle.
10:02
SPEAKER_00: You'll see me.
10:03
SPEAKER_00: I'm right there.
10:05
SPEAKER_00: That's me.
10:06
SPEAKER_00: Nothing more, nothing less.
10:08
SPEAKER_00: I have the same struggles as you do.
10:11
SPEAKER_00: I have the same challenges you do.
10:13
SPEAKER_00: The literal only difference with me and most, I've been on a conscious path since 1990.
10:21
SPEAKER_00: My first conscious, my first therapy session where I learned about the inner child was February the 16th, 1990.
10:30
SPEAKER_00: And for a lot of you on this podcast, you were young, probably really young in 1990, pre-millennia, pre-internet, pre-cell phone, pre-texting, pre-google, pre-everything the world says as normal today.
10:47
SPEAKER_00: And my first conscious thoughts were a couple years before that.
10:52
SPEAKER_00: And you know, and I say that.
10:54
SPEAKER_00: So what makes me a little different than most practice, but doesn't make me any different.
11:01
SPEAKER_00: It doesn't.
11:02
SPEAKER_00: And that's why I share from the heart.
11:05
SPEAKER_00: I just share me.
11:07
SPEAKER_00: And you know, you and me were the same.
11:11
SPEAKER_00: And that's why I call the podcast the We Podcast, a community and connection in a divided world.
11:19
SPEAKER_00: And the divided world isn't the sense of person to person or essence to essence.
11:26
SPEAKER_00: It's because we're all around the world, literally.
11:30
SPEAKER_00: And I want to welcome people from around the world.
11:32
SPEAKER_00: The We podcast is literally exploding.
11:35
SPEAKER_00: Welcome everybody in Norway, United Kingdom, Canada.
11:40
SPEAKER_00: Thank you.
11:41
SPEAKER_00: Thank you for your support.
11:42
SPEAKER_00: Thank you for being here.
11:44
SPEAKER_00: Thank you for telling people about what we're doing.
11:46
SPEAKER_00: Kenya, Malaysia, South Korea.
11:50
SPEAKER_00: I mean, I have to literally just stop sometimes.
11:55
SPEAKER_00: I am so humbled.
11:56
SPEAKER_00: I don't, you know, it brings tears to my eyes.
11:58
SPEAKER_00: It really does to think that people around the globe are listening to this message.
12:04
SPEAKER_00: And it doesn't really surprise me, not because I'm anything special.
12:09
SPEAKER_00: And when I say that, I'm not putting myself down.
12:12
SPEAKER_00: I'm not.
12:13
SPEAKER_00: I'm just a guy.
12:14
SPEAKER_00: And I'm not kidding.
12:15
SPEAKER_00: But it's humbling.
12:17
SPEAKER_00: It is.
12:17
SPEAKER_00: The biblical quote, ye shall do what I have done in grander things.
12:22
SPEAKER_00: The technology of today allows people to reach the globe with a click of a button.
12:30
SPEAKER_00: And that's exactly what's happening with the Wii Podcast.
12:33
SPEAKER_00: And I am extremely grateful that you're here.
12:37
SPEAKER_00: The overarching foundation of why I believe this is so important, the message I put out there, is because we are the generation of change.
12:48
SPEAKER_00: We just are.
12:49
SPEAKER_00: I've done numerous podcasts on this.
12:52
SPEAKER_00: I have a keynote presentation I do on this particular topic.
12:55
SPEAKER_00: You know, I literally believe over the next 10 years that the masses can heal the physical ailments of the world, of the globe.
13:05
SPEAKER_00: A lot of you know I did a TEDx a year ago or so in South Africa, and I learned that the continent of Africa, 400 million people, don't have running water.
13:16
SPEAKER_00: And I just didn't know before.
13:18
SPEAKER_00: And, you know, I'm a guy that can't unsee something.
13:22
SPEAKER_00: I can't like, oh, be really bothered by it on a Tuesday and wake up on a Wednesday and act like there's nothing wrong.
13:29
SPEAKER_00: I can't do it.
13:30
SPEAKER_00: It's not me.
13:31
SPEAKER_00: And that's really the foundation of how the Wii Podcast was started, truly, on that concept right there.
13:37
SPEAKER_00: And because of technology, because of the global economy, because of the long-term caregivers, because of Generation Lab and other things, we literally have the capacity as a humanity to make sure that the people on the globe that are in the poorer communities with less resources, the rest of us, if we share 1%, simply 1% of the wealth, there would be no human on the planet that didn't have running water.
14:12
SPEAKER_00: And I'm gonna share a story later on how that all came true, literally.
14:16
SPEAKER_00: And my nonprofit, Project Smile, helped.
14:20
SPEAKER_00: And that's one of the reasons I'm here.
14:22
SPEAKER_00: How the Wii podcast was started, I came back from South Africa.
14:26
SPEAKER_00: I started a live stream called We and Go Figure, and got that live stream up to over 50,000 people.
14:35
SPEAKER_00: And my very last guest, his name is Farhan, he's an owner of a development company in Dubai, was my last guest.
14:43
SPEAKER_00: And I'm gonna share that story on how this man's spiritual essence and his spiritual communion is about giving back.
14:51
SPEAKER_00: I literally just saw a presentation that he gave on LinkedIn, and I'm gonna talk about that later.
14:58
SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna tell that story on the why we need to move forward.
15:03
SPEAKER_00: Because together we're changing the world.
15:05
SPEAKER_00: We really are.
15:06
SPEAKER_00: We're healing the world.
15:07
SPEAKER_00: And from the physical sense of things, basically it's money.
15:12
SPEAKER_00: That's it.
15:13
SPEAKER_00: The only reason human beings don't have running water, money.
15:17
SPEAKER_00: The only reason there's the simplest of diseases, literally, one of my groups in Uganda, these kids they have no shoes.
15:28
SPEAKER_00: No shoes.
15:30
SPEAKER_00: Well, we got them shoes, but we have to get them nets.
15:33
SPEAKER_00: They have no air conditioning.
15:34
SPEAKER_00: They they they sleep in big ass huts.
15:37
SPEAKER_00: But because if they get bit by mosquitoes, malaria kills them.
15:42
SPEAKER_00: Like I don't know how many kids a year, but a bunch.
15:45
SPEAKER_00: Crazy.
15:46
SPEAKER_00: Doesn't need to be that way.
15:47
SPEAKER_00: And I believe with awareness, we can heal all of that.
15:51
SPEAKER_00: The human physical challenges of the world like that, I really do.
15:56
SPEAKER_00: And you know, that's a big reason I'm here.
15:59
SPEAKER_00: That's a big reason to bring awareness to that type of stuff.
16:01
SPEAKER_00: You look at most of my social media, and please follow me around on my different social media platforms.
16:07
SPEAKER_00: And I always have to kid because I wish I'd write them down.
16:10
SPEAKER_00: I don't know the platform's names off the top of my head.
16:13
SPEAKER_00: I know LinkedIn.
16:14
SPEAKER_00: Oh, Instagram is one, Facebook is another.
16:17
SPEAKER_00: I don't know.
16:18
SPEAKER_00: Y'all know them better than I do.
16:19
SPEAKER_00: Look up my name, Joe Mediga.
16:22
SPEAKER_00: Something you'll find me.
16:23
SPEAKER_00: And follow me, please.
16:25
SPEAKER_00: Why?
16:25
SPEAKER_00: Because what are you going to see there?
16:26
SPEAKER_00: You're going to see Joe promoting Joe.
16:28
unknown: No.
16:29
SPEAKER_00: No.
16:29
SPEAKER_00: You're going to see Joe promoting Project Smile.
16:32
SPEAKER_00: And please put the message out.
16:34
SPEAKER_00: We can help others.
16:35
SPEAKER_00: We really can.
16:36
SPEAKER_00: And that's all about healing of humanity.
16:39
SPEAKER_00: It is.
16:39
SPEAKER_00: My ultimate goal: heal humanity one smile at a time.
16:43
SPEAKER_00: My little nonprofit is about helping bring water.
16:47
SPEAKER_00: What's yours?
16:48
SPEAKER_00: And I know a lot of you don't have a nonprofit, which is fine.
16:52
SPEAKER_00: But there's also ways you can give back.
16:54
SPEAKER_00: And the moving forward and the living from the highest of you is about figuring out your action steps on a daily basis that you can add to start giving back a little bit.
17:08
SPEAKER_00: And that we're going to talk about that later on in the show.
17:11
SPEAKER_00: And the foundation of this show, the true foundation, is to help people heal.
17:19
SPEAKER_00: You know, we live in an era of time where humanity as a concept, the entire humanity consciousness of humanity is waking up.
17:31
SPEAKER_00: It's waking up to the feminine side of herself.
17:35
SPEAKER_00: It is.
17:36
SPEAKER_00: And I always use the example of 100, 200 years ago, the owning of a human perfectly fine.
17:42
SPEAKER_00: I literally, my last podcast was a story which would have been I spoke to the grandson, who's now 76 years old.
17:54
SPEAKER_00: So it had been his grandfather, however, whatever era of time that was, where he used his wife in a community neighborhood as a prostitute to make money and thought nothing of it.
18:08
SPEAKER_00: And the community did zero, not a nothing.
18:12
SPEAKER_00: Think about how unconsciously dead that humanity had to be, that consciousness had to be.
18:20
SPEAKER_00: Well, when I think about it, that was probably around the 1900s, somewhere at that time.
18:26
SPEAKER_00: What the heck?
18:27
SPEAKER_00: 50 years before that, owning a human was okay here in the United States.
18:32
SPEAKER_00: Well, I share all that because we now, I'm not saying there's not an epidemic of human trafficking and all of the abuse out there.
18:42
SPEAKER_00: There is.
18:44
SPEAKER_00: And there's a global fight to heal it.
18:48
SPEAKER_00: There's a global fight to stop it, to shift it, to change it, to grow, because humanity's waking up.
18:56
SPEAKER_00: Perfect example.
18:57
SPEAKER_00: And as we wake up, there are the rest of us, the 99.99% of us, that are in a place to where we're going through things inside of ourselves that you might not have before.
19:13
SPEAKER_00: And you're waking up spiritually, but the challenge is the more you wake up spiritually, there's going to be emotional challenges that you have to walk through.
19:21
SPEAKER_00: There are.
19:21
SPEAKER_00: There just is.
19:22
SPEAKER_00: The concept of the new thought movement of 40 years ago, it worked forever.
19:27
SPEAKER_00: The changing of your thoughts.
19:29
SPEAKER_00: Great.
19:30
SPEAKER_00: Is it a wonderful technique?
19:32
SPEAKER_00: Yes.
19:32
SPEAKER_00: Is meditation a fabulous support?
19:35
SPEAKER_00: Yes.
19:36
SPEAKER_00: Do either one of them heal?
19:37
SPEAKER_00: H-E-A-L anything?
19:39
SPEAKER_00: Does it heal anything?
19:42
SPEAKER_00: No, it doesn't.
19:43
SPEAKER_00: I literally just saw a clip on a reel where a lady, 4,000 years at the best school in the freaking planet, and our brain controls everything.
19:55
SPEAKER_00: We can just poofo, click go, and it's all done if we want it to be.
21:10
SPEAKER_00: So if you've had voices in your head that are driving you nuts, we've got techniques to help.
21:16
SPEAKER_00: It's called a first step.
21:18
SPEAKER_00: Start writing them down.
21:19
SPEAKER_00: If you've got angst and you're taking your stuff out on your wife, fellas, have you started the 15 minutes of beating the bed?
21:27
SPEAKER_00: There's several things I'm going to talk about every podcast before I get into the topic of the podcast.
21:32
SPEAKER_00: And one of it is emotional release in a healthy way.
21:36
SPEAKER_00: I have zero tolerance for men taking their anger out on women.
21:40
SPEAKER_00: Zero.
21:41
SPEAKER_00: Less than zero.
21:42
SPEAKER_00: Nada.
21:43
SPEAKER_00: It has to stop.
21:44
SPEAKER_00: How?
21:46
SPEAKER_00: I hear a lot of influencers, I hear a lot of people out there saying how horrible.
21:49
SPEAKER_00: But how?
21:50
SPEAKER_00: The how to, fellas, is get a bunch of pictures of people you don't like, including your wife every once.
21:56
SPEAKER_00: Well, she doesn't have to know.
21:58
SPEAKER_00: She's gonna push her button.
21:59
SPEAKER_00: She's In your world to push your buttons.
22:02
SPEAKER_00: It's not her responsibility for your rage.
22:05
SPEAKER_00: It's okay.
22:06
SPEAKER_00: Put her picture in the pile, though.
22:07
SPEAKER_00: And on Saturday before the football game, when you when your buddies are drinking and having beer, go into one of their extra bedrooms with a Wolfleball bat and start beating the bed on those pictures.
22:17
SPEAKER_00: 15 minutes a week, fellas, that's all I'm asking.
22:19
SPEAKER_00: 15 minutes a week.
22:21
SPEAKER_00: I promise you, your entire life will change in 90 days or less.
22:25
SPEAKER_00: It'll change in 90 days or less if you just get the release valve of rage out in a healthy way on the bed instead of drinking beer all day long.
22:37
SPEAKER_00: Silence.
22:39
SPEAKER_00: You know, people wonder how do they find their higher power?
22:43
SPEAKER_00: How do they know where their higher power is?
22:46
SPEAKER_00: If the higher power is in us, Joe, how do we do it?
22:49
SPEAKER_00: The how-to, how do we follow it?
22:52
SPEAKER_00: You have to be able to hear it.
22:54
SPEAKER_00: Well, how do you hear it?
22:55
SPEAKER_00: It's the quiet voice.
22:57
SPEAKER_00: How do I get to the quiet voice?
22:59
SPEAKER_00: Practice silence.
23:01
SPEAKER_00: Now, silence isn't no movement.
23:03
SPEAKER_00: And silence doesn't, silence is no external stimuli, no radios, no talking, no internet, no kids, no flipping of the reels, all that stuff.
23:13
SPEAKER_00: And notice the big thoughts and listen for the small thoughts.
23:18
SPEAKER_00: Listen.
23:19
SPEAKER_00: And I'm asking everybody, and I've been doing this now for several weeks, and I hope there's a lot of you on here now that can say, Yeah, Joe, you know, I've gotten in the routine.
23:28
SPEAKER_00: I got up a little earlier, and I've started my five minutes of pursuing silence.
23:35
SPEAKER_00: I say to people all the time, if I can go five or six hours, you can go five or six minutes.
23:42
SPEAKER_00: About two months ago or so.
23:45
SPEAKER_00: I was, I follow my higher power voice almost exclusively now.
23:50
SPEAKER_00: I really do.
23:51
SPEAKER_00: And that's one of the advantages because I spent so many years healing the pain.
23:58
SPEAKER_00: All unloving, shame-based, guilt-based, hurt-based, hate-based voices in your head come from a hurt little kid in your heart.
24:08
SPEAKER_00: All the voices in your head, that's why the affirmation concept doesn't work.
24:14
SPEAKER_00: All the voices in your head are sourced from a hurt in your heart.
24:19
SPEAKER_00: All of them, 100% of them, are sourced from the hurt in your heart.
24:26
SPEAKER_00: Heal the hurt in your heart, the voices go away.
24:29
SPEAKER_00: And as a lot of you know, but I know a lot of new people, welcome to everybody new.
24:35
SPEAKER_00: I spent seven years starting in April of 1994 when I had memories of being sexually abused as a little boy.
24:45
SPEAKER_00: Brand new memories.
24:46
SPEAKER_00: I was 31 years old.
24:47
SPEAKER_00: I spent the following seven years in silence and solitude, isolation, literally with just me.
24:58
SPEAKER_00: Seven years.
24:59
SPEAKER_00: I had a therapist, that was it.
25:01
SPEAKER_00: I moved to a city, Gainesville, for three of those years, 50 miles away from everybody in the nighttime because I lived in a business district.
25:10
SPEAKER_00: I was three miles from a living human, literally.
25:14
SPEAKER_00: And I spent that time healing.
25:16
SPEAKER_00: I did, giving a voice to the darkest parts.
25:19
SPEAKER_00: It's called inner child work, dual hand journaling is what that's called.
25:23
SPEAKER_00: I have numerous podcasts on dual hand journaling.
25:26
SPEAKER_00: And that's how you heal.
25:28
SPEAKER_00: You give a voice to your darkest parts.
25:31
SPEAKER_00: You give a voice to your deepest emotional hurting parts.
25:36
SPEAKER_00: Give them a voice through the dual hand journaling.
25:39
SPEAKER_00: Eventually, you're going to feel grief.
25:42
SPEAKER_00: As you emote the grief, you will be amazed at how wonderful eventually you feel.
25:48
SPEAKER_00: I've got a great story I'm going to talk about on that topic later on in the episode of a woman that I've been working with now for a while, and it's working.
25:58
SPEAKER_00: And her spiritual communion now is her words.
26:04
SPEAKER_00: Joey, it's just hard for me to comprehend because it works.
26:07
SPEAKER_00: It really does.
26:08
SPEAKER_00: Why?
26:09
SPEAKER_00: Well, because the feminine side of self is waking up.
26:12
SPEAKER_00: And if the feminine side of self is waking up, if the feminine side of self is where your spiritual communion is, your emotional emotional sense is there too.
26:22
SPEAKER_00: And if God is love, if we're trying to commune with this thing called God or higher power or oneness or universe or Jesus or whatever adjective you're putting on your divinity, right?
26:34
SPEAKER_00: If you described it with one word, you would call love the word.
26:38
SPEAKER_00: Well, love is an emotion.
26:40
SPEAKER_00: The challenge is to really have communion, oneness with this higher sense of self.
26:45
SPEAKER_00: You have to have oneness with your emotions.
26:48
SPEAKER_00: The challenge is as we go emotionally inside, there's so much suppressed emotion because we grew up in an era of time 30, 40, 50 years ago, where emotional support, it wasn't a thing.
27:02
SPEAKER_00: We just weren't.
27:02
SPEAKER_00: We lived in an unconscious society.
27:05
SPEAKER_00: We did.
27:06
SPEAKER_00: Good or bad?
27:07
SPEAKER_00: No.
27:07
SPEAKER_00: Hurtful or hateful?
27:09
SPEAKER_00: No.
27:09
SPEAKER_00: Simply unconscious.
27:10
SPEAKER_00: Our parents did the best they could.
27:12
SPEAKER_00: And we were emotionally neglected and abandoned because of it.
27:16
SPEAKER_00: We just were.
27:17
SPEAKER_00: It's not a bad thing.
27:18
SPEAKER_00: I'm not judging, it's just the facts.
27:20
SPEAKER_00: Well, today it's up to us to give a voice to the hurt little kid that wasn't given a voice 50 years ago, 55 years ago in my world, 60 years ago in my world.
27:32
SPEAKER_00: And people say, well, that happened 50 years ago.
27:35
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, no kidding.
27:36
SPEAKER_00: I know.
27:37
SPEAKER_00: And if it wasn't still affecting you today, you wouldn't make that reactionary comment.
27:43
SPEAKER_00: Period.
27:44
SPEAKER_00: It wouldn't.
27:45
SPEAKER_00: Well, we're going to talk about all that too.
27:47
SPEAKER_00: We are.
27:48
SPEAKER_00: Because that's what we're here to do.
27:50
SPEAKER_00: And when you understand that we are an emotional being, and we're as a human being, we have two sides of self, the male side and the female side, the male side, mental, physical, the female side, emotional, spiritual.
28:04
SPEAKER_00: Humanity has been dominated for millennia from the mental side of self.
28:10
SPEAKER_00: Good or bad?
28:11
SPEAKER_00: No, just what it's been: the brain and the physical.
28:15
SPEAKER_00: If you were smart and you could physically dominate, you conquered, you controlled.
28:20
SPEAKER_00: Period.
28:20
SPEAKER_00: Ask the Roman Empire, Mr.
28:23
SPEAKER_00: Caesar.
28:24
SPEAKER_00: He wasn't a very loving guy.
28:26
SPEAKER_00: He killed anybody that didn't agree with him.
28:27
SPEAKER_00: He killed their families first and then them.
28:29
SPEAKER_00: Why?
28:30
SPEAKER_00: Control.
28:32
SPEAKER_00: Is that a big ex uh an exaggerated example?
28:35
SPEAKER_00: No, it's not.
28:37
SPEAKER_00: Look at the history of the church and governments a thousand years ago.
28:44
SPEAKER_00: They dominated their male dominance.
28:47
SPEAKER_00: And quite honestly, just look at history.
28:49
SPEAKER_00: 50, 60, 70 years ago here in the United States, 98% male dominated, men dominated.
28:57
SPEAKER_00: Now, male energy isn't just in men, everybody.
29:01
SPEAKER_00: It's gender, it's not gender specific, but the feminine side of self is waking up in men and women.
29:10
SPEAKER_00: And quite honestly, men are women are much more in tune with their feminine energy than men are.
29:17
SPEAKER_00: I have come across some of the most powerful women ever that have been on a spiritual and an emotional journey the past 20, 30 years, that in their most wounded states of emotional reactionary life, in their most addictive satiation times of their life, their gut instinct was still available to them.
29:39
SPEAKER_00: Could they follow it?
29:40
SPEAKER_00: No.
29:41
SPEAKER_00: Was it available?
29:42
SPEAKER_00: Yes, it is.
29:44
SPEAKER_00: How do I know that gut instinct thing?
29:46
SPEAKER_00: Because literally, after all these years, about 90 days ago, my own intuition, gut instinct started opening up.
29:54
SPEAKER_00: And that's why women that go through the emotional growth and the spiritual wisdom and then add their instinct, their intuition to it, they're powerhouses.
30:04
SPEAKER_00: And quite honestly, in my opinion, women are the true, are going to be are the true essence of the healing of humanity.
30:12
SPEAKER_00: And I believe that with all my heart.
30:13
SPEAKER_00: I really, really do.
30:15
SPEAKER_00: And from that sense, feminine, male side, feminine side, the emotional side, there's four emotions mad, glad, sad, and scared.
30:24
SPEAKER_00: And we have to be able, we have to be willing to emote all of those.
30:30
SPEAKER_00: Mad, glad, sad, and scared.
30:32
SPEAKER_00: And the delusional ridiculousness that the spiritual process is all about the happy and the joyous and the wonderment and the free.
30:40
SPEAKER_00: It's all BS.
30:42
SPEAKER_00: And if you live in some nonsense that says, oh, if I just to pray more, then God's gonna make everything.
30:48
SPEAKER_00: No, God's not codependent, folks.
30:51
SPEAKER_00: God will give you the strength and courage to walk out of your challenge, and God will give you the grace and the glory when you're on top of the mountain.
30:58
SPEAKER_00: You will.
31:16
SPEAKER_00: That's why I was an F you God guy.
31:19
SPEAKER_00: And for those of you that don't know what that means, you know, I was in so much pain for so many years, I just knew for a fact there couldn't be a God.
31:28
SPEAKER_00: No way.
31:29
SPEAKER_00: And I was never atheist, but that's why I say F you.
31:32
SPEAKER_00: I was an F you God guy.
31:33
SPEAKER_00: And now I consider myself a God guy.
31:36
SPEAKER_00: And I said, there's no way there could be a God and me be in so much pain.
31:41
SPEAKER_00: There's just no way.
31:42
SPEAKER_00: And then later, much later, eight, nine, 10 years later, I heard the voices say, God didn't cause your pain.
31:49
SPEAKER_00: God's not the reason you're in pain.
31:51
SPEAKER_00: You are, Joe.
31:53
SPEAKER_00: Your environment neglected you, your environment abandoned you, and your behaviors as you got older doubled and tripled.
32:02
SPEAKER_00: Every time you drank, Joe, you abandoned yourself.
32:05
SPEAKER_00: Every time you acted out, Joe, you neglected yourself.
32:08
SPEAKER_00: Every time you caused somebody else pain, you abused yourself, Joe.
32:11
SPEAKER_00: That's why codependence is such a toxic stem of our society, quite honestly.
32:18
SPEAKER_00: And this this episode is about codependence.
32:21
SPEAKER_00: And I'm gonna bring some, I'm gonna challenge some of the human norms around that entire concept.
32:27
SPEAKER_00: I am, because I I got a story I'm gonna tell.
32:31
SPEAKER_00: And I always say there's nothing more toxic than sexual abuse, and I believe that with all my heart.
32:37
SPEAKER_00: There is.
32:38
SPEAKER_00: And addiction just freaking kills.
32:40
SPEAKER_00: You know, addiction kills, it kills the soul, it kills the spirit, it kills, it kills.
32:46
SPEAKER_00: And literally, physically, you drink too much, you're gonna die.
32:49
SPEAKER_00: Your liver just stops and you die.
32:51
SPEAKER_00: And same with drugs, of course, but codependence, it's like the silent killer.
32:58
SPEAKER_00: And what does it kill?
32:59
SPEAKER_00: Does it kill physically?
33:01
SPEAKER_00: No, not literally, not literally, physically, but what it kills is esteem.
33:07
SPEAKER_00: What it kills is self-worth.
33:09
SPEAKER_00: What it kills is personal value.
33:12
SPEAKER_00: And we're gonna talk about that today because I literally watch people that have the whole Allen AA is for the alcoholic, you know, the the person addicted, and the A, the 12 steps in the addiction process of alcohol or drugs or food or sex, whatever.
33:34
SPEAKER_00: It's the powerless process to a substance that the you know, the 12 steps of Bill W created around alcoholism 100 years ago.
33:44
SPEAKER_00: Well, Al-Anon is for the person, was typically it was basically created way back when to help the partner of the alcoholic stop rescuing the alcoholic and stay with themselves.
33:57
SPEAKER_00: Find your own sense of self and stop rescuing somebody else and labeling it love because it's not.
34:02
SPEAKER_00: And you know, I was talking about that in the last episode, where for every perpetrator out there, there's 50 victims.
34:09
SPEAKER_00: Some perpetrator, there's 250 victims.
34:13
SPEAKER_00: A lot of those perpetrators, they're just lost souls.
34:16
SPEAKER_00: Do I think we could heal some of them?
34:18
SPEAKER_00: Yes, I do.
34:19
SPEAKER_00: And like I've told everybody, you break the law, I take you to jail.
34:23
SPEAKER_00: And I did listen to the last episode.
34:25
SPEAKER_00: But that last episode was more about the 50 people who the perpetrator hurt.
34:31
SPEAKER_00: And are you healing?
34:33
SPEAKER_00: I gave the story about sexual abuse in my lineage, stopped with me because I chose to heal.
34:43
SPEAKER_00: I chose to feel the depths of my pain.
34:45
SPEAKER_00: I chose to get the support needed so that I could give a voice to my most powerless part, a seven-year-old little boy who was terrorized by two 18-year-olds.
34:55
SPEAKER_00: And I gave a voice to that part.
34:57
SPEAKER_00: And if I can, you can.
34:59
SPEAKER_00: We're the generation of change.
35:01
SPEAKER_00: That's how we heal, literally.
35:04
SPEAKER_00: And, you know, my foundation message is if I can, you can, literally.
35:15
SPEAKER_00: And I mean that wholeheartedly.
35:17
SPEAKER_00: There is nothing special about me, nothing.
35:20
SPEAKER_00: And I say that nothing uniquely different about me.
35:25
SPEAKER_00: There's not a characteristic I have that anyone listening here doesn't have.
35:30
SPEAKER_00: There's not a resource I have that anyone listening doesn't have.
35:34
SPEAKER_00: Everything I have, you have available to you.
35:37
SPEAKER_00: Literally.
35:38
SPEAKER_00: I started homeless and now I'm a global podcaster.
35:42
SPEAKER_00: Because I'm special?
35:43
SPEAKER_00: No.
35:44
SPEAKER_00: Because I had a million dollars?
35:45
SPEAKER_00: No.
35:45
SPEAKER_00: Because I was famous?
35:46
SPEAKER_00: No.
35:46
SPEAKER_00: None of those things.
35:48
SPEAKER_00: Because I started.
35:50
SPEAKER_00: Why is Joe a global podcaster?
35:52
SPEAKER_00: Joe's not a global podcaster.
35:54
SPEAKER_00: We is a global podcast.
35:57
SPEAKER_00: And we, you and me, this is ours.
36:01
SPEAKER_00: Not Joe's.
36:02
SPEAKER_00: It's ours.
36:04
SPEAKER_00: How do I know?
36:05
SPEAKER_00: Because how else would that be?
36:07
SPEAKER_00: I have to just tell you this.
36:09
SPEAKER_00: I'm when I say I'm not special, I'm not unique.
36:14
SPEAKER_00: There, there's nothing in me that all of you don't have.
36:18
SPEAKER_00: Truly, and I'm not kidding.
36:20
SPEAKER_00: You know, I struggle with money.
36:22
SPEAKER_00: I struggle.
36:23
SPEAKER_00: I was, I couldn't stay married.
36:25
SPEAKER_00: You know, I raised two boys by myself.
36:28
SPEAKER_00: I haven't had a female partner in a decade.
36:30
SPEAKER_00: You know, so those of you that are single, those of you that wonder if you're going to ever have a partnership in your, I get it.
36:36
SPEAKER_00: You know, I wonder sometime if I'll ever have a partnership in my life again.
36:40
SPEAKER_00: I do.
36:40
SPEAKER_00: I do.
36:41
SPEAKER_00: Now for 10 years I chose not to because I chose to give all my overflow to my kids, but I wonder that now.
36:48
SPEAKER_00: So there's not a there's not an issue you have in your external world.
36:52
SPEAKER_00: I don't literally have as we're speaking.
36:54
SPEAKER_00: Do I have a million dollars in a bank?
36:56
SPEAKER_00: No.
36:57
SPEAKER_00: I've got a business that pays my bills.
36:59
SPEAKER_00: I've got a house that I've got equity in.
37:02
SPEAKER_00: Period.
37:02
SPEAKER_00: Do I have big savings?
37:04
SPEAKER_00: No.
37:04
SPEAKER_00: How did I do this?
37:06
SPEAKER_00: Herodas.
37:08
SPEAKER_00: My mother died.
37:09
SPEAKER_00: When my mother died, she worked for 40 years.
37:13
SPEAKER_00: Myself and my three sisters all got a little bit of money.
37:16
SPEAKER_00: I invested what I got in a piano for my youngest son, part of school for my oldest son, a basement where my youngest son lives, and the Wii podcast.
37:27
SPEAKER_00: Why?
37:28
SPEAKER_00: Because I want to get the message out.
37:31
SPEAKER_00: Truly, why am I doing the Wii Podcast for the one person?
37:35
SPEAKER_00: If there's one person I can help, then the seven years of misery I lived in, it's all worth it.
37:41
SPEAKER_00: And I was thinking, literally, I literally, right before I got on the show tonight, I pulled up and the Wii Podcast is ranked 57th in the globe right now, tonight.
37:53
SPEAKER_00: And I'm looking around and I am like humbled by the podcast and these people around the Wii Podcast.
38:02
SPEAKER_00: Amazing global figures with amazing messages and amazing personalities and wealth and so much hope and so much wisdom.
38:14
SPEAKER_00: And we is right in the center of them.
38:16
SPEAKER_00: Why?
38:17
SPEAKER_00: Because it's not Joe, folks.
38:19
SPEAKER_00: It's the message.
38:20
SPEAKER_00: It's my divinity speaking to your divinity.
38:23
SPEAKER_00: And together, we're doing this together.
38:26
SPEAKER_00: Some of the names on that list: Megan Kelly, fabulous.
38:30
SPEAKER_00: Tucker Carlson, amazing.
38:32
SPEAKER_00: Jamie Kern Lima, fabulous.
38:35
SPEAKER_00: One of my most favorite person, people ever, Michelle Obama and President Obama.
38:41
SPEAKER_00: And even though, quite honestly, I might have some political differences with President Obama, I have never, ever in my entire life been more inspired by one human being than Mr.
38:55
SPEAKER_00: Obama.
38:56
SPEAKER_00: And I'm sitting here saying the Wii Podcast shares the same stage.
39:01
SPEAKER_00: Why, folks?
39:02
SPEAKER_00: Because we're doing it together.
39:04
SPEAKER_00: Us.
39:05
SPEAKER_00: It's not the man, it's the message.
39:08
SPEAKER_00: And the message in me is the message in you.
39:11
SPEAKER_00: I say all the time, there's nothing different about me.
39:14
SPEAKER_00: Who would I be?
39:15
SPEAKER_00: You know, my son's, I was never a baseball coach.
39:19
SPEAKER_00: My kids have elite talents, not because of Joe.
39:22
SPEAKER_00: I can't throw a baseball.
39:23
SPEAKER_00: Literally, I can't throw a baseball.
39:25
SPEAKER_00: But I could bring the first aid kit.
39:28
SPEAKER_00: My son was a catcher and he'd get beat up, he'd get bruised.
39:33
SPEAKER_00: And then literally for five years, if any of these boys needed a band-aid, they'd yell for Papa Mitt.
39:41
SPEAKER_00: I'm Papa Mitt to all of my son's teammates.
39:46
SPEAKER_00: Now I was that, I was just another dad.
39:49
SPEAKER_00: And I always was Papa Mitt.
39:52
SPEAKER_00: I was the guy because my son needed, you know, band-aids more than most, being a catcher.
39:59
SPEAKER_00: That boys, they would scuff their knees, they would get big calluses, whatever they would call me.
40:06
SPEAKER_00: From young, nine, 10 years old.
40:10
SPEAKER_00: Five of those boys got drafted just this past draft.
40:15
SPEAKER_00: 30 or 40 of those boys now are playing college baseball.
40:19
SPEAKER_00: My son started his first college.
40:21
SPEAKER_00: My son always played up, he's always been an elite player, so he always played up an age.
40:26
SPEAKER_00: And in 2029, the summer draft of 2029, look for the name Mittig.
40:31
SPEAKER_00: You'll see my son.
40:32
SPEAKER_00: Because of me?
40:34
SPEAKER_00: No.
40:35
SPEAKER_00: No.
40:36
SPEAKER_00: Because he's been taught his whole life.
40:39
SPEAKER_00: There's a God inside him, and his skills are of God.
40:42
SPEAKER_00: And it's up to you to live those talents.
40:45
SPEAKER_00: And that's the thing I can say that I always did.
40:48
SPEAKER_00: I always taught my kids.
40:49
SPEAKER_00: And that's what I'm sharing here.
40:51
SPEAKER_00: And that's what I want to talk about today is the reason we want to move forward.
40:58
SPEAKER_00: Like, what is the real reason?
41:00
SPEAKER_00: Because we were all born to live as the grander sense of ourselves.
41:07
SPEAKER_00: And I don't care where you started, I know 99% of you never would not have started where I started.
41:15
SPEAKER_00: Homeless, seven years in a warehouse.
41:18
SPEAKER_00: No.
41:19
SPEAKER_00: Most of you started in a very different place.
41:22
SPEAKER_00: And I'm going to ask the question now, you know, because it's important.
41:26
SPEAKER_00: We want to bring conscious awareness to your conscious path.
41:29
SPEAKER_00: Do you remember what your first conscious thought was?
41:32
SPEAKER_00: Mine was the police officers are not trying to get me to stop driving.
41:37
SPEAKER_00: They're trying to get me to stop drinking and driving.
41:41
SPEAKER_00: That was my first conscious thought after my second DUI.
41:45
SPEAKER_00: Many, many years ago.
41:46
SPEAKER_00: What was yours?
41:47
SPEAKER_00: Write it down.
41:49
SPEAKER_00: And then think about the conscious thoughts you have.
41:52
SPEAKER_00: And what is that?
41:53
SPEAKER_00: On a conscious thought is on a Tuesday you see something a particular way, and a Wednesday you see it differently.
42:00
SPEAKER_00: That's conscious thought.
42:02
SPEAKER_00: That's conscious awareness brings spiritually aware.
42:06
SPEAKER_00: Now, when you wake up and you have something different, the living of it is called spiritual growth.
42:14
SPEAKER_00: And literally, that's why the second part of this podcast, right?
42:18
SPEAKER_00: The emotional growth and the spiritual growth that took me so I could trust my higher power.
42:24
SPEAKER_00: It's in the trusting of the higher power, it's in the trusting that there's something else guiding you that helps you to move forward.
42:34
SPEAKER_00: And it's time for us as a humanity, because that's how we heal, to start figuring out what it is you, what are you going to start doing on your Tuesday morning that is making sure you're constantly moving forward?
42:54
SPEAKER_00: Emotionally, you're going to be growing.
42:56
SPEAKER_00: Emotionally, you're going to be shifting.
42:58
SPEAKER_00: Emotionally, you're going to go deeper.
43:00
SPEAKER_00: Emotionally, you're going to heal.
43:01
SPEAKER_00: Yes, of course.
43:03
SPEAKER_00: Wonderful.
43:04
SPEAKER_00: Different topic.
43:06
SPEAKER_00: I'm talking about moving forward from a position of guidance system, a part of you guiding you.
43:14
SPEAKER_00: And the guidance system, in one of my podcasts, way back when, when I lost my dad, that was a podcast I did back in January.
43:22
SPEAKER_00: And I will tell you, folks, I am very connected.
43:25
SPEAKER_00: I am very practiced.
43:26
SPEAKER_00: I share that from a place of humility.
43:29
SPEAKER_00: I share that from a place that says, if I can, you can.
43:32
SPEAKER_00: That's for darn sure.
43:34
SPEAKER_00: Because I never was searching for a relationship power greater than myself.
43:38
SPEAKER_00: I was never searching for a relationship with a power greater than myself.
43:42
SPEAKER_00: Never.
43:43
SPEAKER_00: Not at all.
43:45
SPEAKER_00: And as I just kept emotionally healing and emotionally healing, all I ever wanted to do is stop hurting.
43:51
SPEAKER_00: That's it.
43:52
SPEAKER_00: Nothing more, nothing left.
43:53
SPEAKER_00: Wanted to stop hurting.
43:54
SPEAKER_00: Well, as I stopped hurting, that emotional side of me, the awakenings.
44:00
SPEAKER_00: Started to happen.
44:01
SPEAKER_00: I could feel, I could sense, I could hear a voice that wasn't mine.
44:06
SPEAKER_00: My first book, Inner Child Has Rights Too, channeled through me.
44:10
SPEAKER_00: Two and a half years into sobriety, 106,841 words.
44:16
SPEAKER_00: Visit my website, folks, joemitiga.com, and download the book.
44:21
SPEAKER_00: Join one of the book clubs.
44:23
SPEAKER_00: You know, that website, we're working on it.
44:26
SPEAKER_00: For those people who are going to be listening to this podcast a year from today, go to jomitiga.com and download all my books.
44:34
SPEAKER_00: The first one is called Filling the Void.
44:36
SPEAKER_00: Used to be called Your Inner Child Has Rights To.
44:38
SPEAKER_00: Now it's Filling the Void, a common man's quest to become one with God.
44:43
SPEAKER_00: And that whole idea, right?
44:45
SPEAKER_00: It was channeled through me.
44:47
SPEAKER_00: It wasn't me.
44:47
SPEAKER_00: I was a math guy.
44:48
SPEAKER_00: I would hear voices.
44:50
SPEAKER_00: I would hear literally a voice.
44:52
SPEAKER_00: And I used to say, I'm not writing.
44:54
SPEAKER_00: The voices say, You're writing, Joe.
44:56
SPEAKER_00: I'm not writing.
44:58
SPEAKER_00: You're gonna write, Joe.
45:00
SPEAKER_00: Now, let me put it in context.
45:02
SPEAKER_00: At this point, I'd already moved out of Gainesville.
45:04
SPEAKER_00: I was there over two years.
45:06
SPEAKER_00: I'm now living in a room.
45:08
SPEAKER_00: My counselor had a room.
45:10
SPEAKER_00: Now, this is back when a room cost a hundred and it's either$190 or$200 a month.
45:17
SPEAKER_00: I had a room and a bathroom.
45:20
SPEAKER_00: No TV, no phone, a car that didn't work, almost no money.
45:24
SPEAKER_00: I lived on less than$3,000 a month for seven years.
45:27
SPEAKER_00: Now I'm in this room and I would sit endless hours battling with my own voices, hearing voices.
45:37
SPEAKER_00: And I'm literally arguing.
45:39
SPEAKER_00: At the time I didn't know it was a higher power talking to me.
45:42
SPEAKER_00: What the heck would I know about that?
45:44
SPEAKER_00: But it was.
45:45
SPEAKER_00: And then eventually I got legal side pieces of paper and I started writing.
45:49
SPEAKER_00: And the whole book, 275 words, came through me.
45:53
SPEAKER_00: That book will be out to the public here very soon called Filling the Void.
45:58
SPEAKER_00: Please rate it and share your feedback with me.
46:01
SPEAKER_00: I really look forward to hearing your feedback.
46:04
SPEAKER_00: And join one of the book clubs because we're creating an entire system to help people truly use the book.
46:11
SPEAKER_00: What is the book?
46:11
SPEAKER_00: It's my story on how I gave a voice to my inner child and how I used the 12 steps to commune with God.
46:17
SPEAKER_00: That's it.
46:18
SPEAKER_00: That's my whole book.
46:19
SPEAKER_00: And read it, see what you think, do the exercises.
46:25
SPEAKER_00: And it will help the concept of moving forward.
46:29
SPEAKER_00: And why do you want to do it?
46:31
SPEAKER_00: Because I can promise you, you would you'll enjoy having a life where your voices aren't torturing you, where the angst in your heart isn't part of your day, where the dull ache in your belly goes away.
46:47
SPEAKER_00: You will.
46:48
SPEAKER_00: And how do I know?
46:49
SPEAKER_00: Because I don't have that anymore.
46:51
SPEAKER_00: I don't.
46:51
SPEAKER_00: I live a very blissful life.
46:54
SPEAKER_00: And that's what I want to talk about, because this whole concept, the whole idea that money and fame and location and building something big and all that causes serenity.
47:08
SPEAKER_00: It's not true.
47:10
SPEAKER_00: Not.
47:10
SPEAKER_00: And I'm gonna talk about that here at the end of the podcast.
47:14
SPEAKER_00: And I'll tell you the facts.
47:16
SPEAKER_00: I'll show you literally the facts on how I know that's not true, let alone my own story.
47:21
SPEAKER_00: What causes all that?
47:23
SPEAKER_00: Healing.
47:24
SPEAKER_00: When we emotionally heal the wounds of our past, when there's no emotional angst in our belly, then the voices in our head go away.
47:33
SPEAKER_00: And when you heal the angst in your belly and the voices go away, that's serenity.
47:38
SPEAKER_00: And from a place of serenity, there's a place of okayness.
47:42
SPEAKER_00: From a place of okayness, there's a sense of fullness.
47:45
SPEAKER_00: From a sense of fullness, and you start giving that fullness back out into the world, that's where you live from grace instead of gratitude.
47:52
SPEAKER_00: And that's what this whole process is about.
47:55
SPEAKER_00: That's what the whole we movement is all about.
47:58
SPEAKER_00: That's how we heal humanity.
48:00
SPEAKER_00: Joe's goal is a hundred million downloads a month because I want to help a hundred million people heal the emotional sense of themselves by learning how to dual-hand journal, to learning how to write down the voices.
48:15
SPEAKER_00: And if you're going deep, get yourself support, find you, and then find your things that you're gonna help give back to.
48:24
SPEAKER_00: You know, it's interesting because I'm now investigating a couple of different uh a couple of different nonprofits that are making true differences.
48:36
SPEAKER_00: And as I do it, I'm gonna have the found founders of these nonprofits on the show.
48:43
SPEAKER_00: And I'm starting to create a list and I'm starting to interview people to start having guests on the Wii podcast.
48:50
SPEAKER_00: And I've already checked a bunch of people off because I'm not gonna have a guest on here that's gonna tell you what to do person.
48:57
SPEAKER_00: I'm only gonna have people on here, and I don't care their fame, I don't care how important they are or how much money they make and how many people follow them on TikTok.
49:07
SPEAKER_00: I don't care.
49:08
SPEAKER_00: I care if they've got the ability and the wisdom and the humility to share their experience, strength, and hope.
49:14
SPEAKER_00: I want to know what they did on their darkest day on a Tuesday, and then what they did the following Tuesday, what they did the following Tuesday.
49:20
SPEAKER_00: Because if they don't tell us what they did on a Tuesday when they're dark, there's no sense of hope that when they get glory, when they live the success.
49:29
SPEAKER_00: And a lot of you are on are in those dark Tuesdays.
49:34
SPEAKER_00: You are, and I'm sorry.
49:37
SPEAKER_00: And if I can get out, you can get out.
49:39
SPEAKER_00: Pray for strength, pray for courage.
49:42
SPEAKER_00: Do what I did.
49:43
SPEAKER_00: I didn't ask to be rescued, I prayed for strength and courage from a power greater than myself.
49:48
SPEAKER_00: That's how I kept moving forward, and I kept moving forward.
49:51
SPEAKER_00: And over time, I'm gonna have others with the same stories, their stories, their styles.
49:58
SPEAKER_00: Mr.
49:58
SPEAKER_00: Farhan, which I'm gonna talk about Farhan and what he did in such a wonderful way in the next episode, in the Thursday episode.
50:06
SPEAKER_00: But it's really one of those ideas that the more okay you are, now it's time to shift from constantly trying to be more and okay, more okay, to giving back.
50:21
SPEAKER_00: I literally see it on LinkedIn.
50:23
SPEAKER_00: I mean on a daily basis, where I see numerous people.
50:28
SPEAKER_00: I just got another self-help degree, and I just got another, just went to another retreat in freaking Brazil.
50:36
SPEAKER_00: And I felt the most peaceful I ever did because I was in error, and I see it over and over and over.
50:41
SPEAKER_00: And I asked myself the question, I can't, I think this is wonderful.
50:45
SPEAKER_00: I do.
50:46
SPEAKER_00: And that doesn't create grace, you know, folks.
50:51
SPEAKER_00: Most of you on this podcast, now there's a bunch, there's some, you're in dark spots.
50:57
SPEAKER_00: There they are, but a lot of you aren't.
51:00
SPEAKER_00: And what you're missing, what you're literally missing, and you're hearing it here, it's time for you to figure out your give back.
51:08
SPEAKER_00: It's time for you to figure out what you're gonna be doing on a Tuesday morning to start giving back just a little.
51:15
SPEAKER_00: Why?
51:15
SPEAKER_00: Because you've got the overflow to do it, you've got the wisdom to do it, you've got the you've got the warrior in you to do your next it.
51:25
SPEAKER_00: How do I know that?
51:26
SPEAKER_00: Because if you can make it through my podcast, if you're a repeat listener of my podcast, it means you are a spirit, a true spiritual warrior.
51:34
SPEAKER_00: There's two people on this podcast, people that are so freaking wounded and so much hurt and so much, they're here for hope and just grasping for anything.
51:43
SPEAKER_00: And the rest of you, the other 80% of you, everything I'm saying is validating a truth that's already in you.
51:50
SPEAKER_00: I'm mirroring back something you've always known, but you don't see it on the pulpit.
51:55
SPEAKER_00: You certainly don't see it from other influencers.
51:57
SPEAKER_00: You see it, you hear it here.
51:58
SPEAKER_00: You're already there because you've done a lot of work.
52:02
SPEAKER_00: You've been the 20-year 12-stepper, you've been on your conscious path for 10 years, you've stopped drinking years ago.
52:08
SPEAKER_00: And oh, yeah, by the way, I always have to bring this up.
52:11
SPEAKER_00: When was the last time you went 30 days without drinking?
52:14
SPEAKER_00: When's the last day you went time, fellas, you went 30 days without sex?
52:18
SPEAKER_00: When was the last time you went 30 days without some type of mind-numbing substance?
52:25
SPEAKER_00: And why do I always bring that up?
52:27
SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna make sure I bring it up every podcast, because it was February the 13th, 1994, when I asked myself that question for the very first time.
52:38
SPEAKER_00: When was the last time I went 30 days?
52:41
SPEAKER_00: Actually, 90 days.
52:43
SPEAKER_00: The answer I was 15.
52:45
SPEAKER_00: And my sobriety day is April the 16th, 1994.
52:51
SPEAKER_00: My alcohol sobriety day is February 13th, 1994.
52:56
SPEAKER_00: So when was the last time, folks?
52:59
SPEAKER_00: And I hear the voice.
53:00
SPEAKER_00: Well, you know, it's a Friday.
53:02
SPEAKER_00: Saturday, Joe.
53:03
SPEAKER_00: What would a football game be without my beer?
53:06
SPEAKER_00: It'd be a football game.
53:07
SPEAKER_00: That's what it would be.
53:09
SPEAKER_00: Well, you know, Joe, it's Tuesday night and I play, I play peanut with the fellows.
53:14
SPEAKER_00: Or, you know, I've got my bowling league, Joe.
53:16
SPEAKER_00: What would my women think if I didn't drink with them?
53:19
SPEAKER_00: Well, they would think that you're on a diet, you actually got some wisdom to you.
53:23
SPEAKER_00: There's zero health to alcohol, folks.
53:25
SPEAKER_00: Zero.
53:26
SPEAKER_00: Do I have anything against alcohol?
53:28
SPEAKER_00: No.
53:29
SPEAKER_00: But I do have something.
53:32
SPEAKER_00: I am very challenged by what it does to the physical body, and even more challenged on the why.
53:39
SPEAKER_00: Because 99% of you are drinking or drugging or sexing or acting out somehow somehow.
53:44
SPEAKER_00: If you are, not all of you are, but a lot of you are, because you're suppressing an emotion.
53:50
SPEAKER_00: You're suppressing an emotion.
53:52
SPEAKER_00: I'll never forget I had a nightmare one time and I hadn't stopped drinking yet.
53:57
SPEAKER_00: I had stopped, I was in that battle in the beginning, and I had a nightmare of my little kid pulling away from me and me pouring alcohol on his head.
54:08
SPEAKER_00: Jack Daniels on his head.
54:10
SPEAKER_00: Hey folks, you know what?
54:12
SPEAKER_00: Every time you drink, there's an emotional little kid in you that's getting alcohol on their head.
54:18
SPEAKER_00: And if you think that's vulgar, if you think that's hateful, if you think that's harmful, tough.
54:23
SPEAKER_00: It's true.
54:25
SPEAKER_00: So, what's the last time you went 30 days, 60 days, 90 days?
54:28
SPEAKER_00: Give it a shot.
54:30
SPEAKER_00: If you can do it effortlessly, then ask yourself why on day number 91 would you go back to it?
54:36
SPEAKER_00: If you can't do it effortlessly, get some help.
54:39
SPEAKER_00: Just get some help.
54:40
SPEAKER_00: Why?
54:41
SPEAKER_00: Because you're gonna feel better.
54:42
SPEAKER_00: You're gonna emotionally heal, you're gonna emotionally grow, and you're gonna physically feel better if you don't have substance in your body all the time.
54:49
SPEAKER_00: And this casual nonsense, well, I only drink every other fourth Thursday.
54:53
SPEAKER_00: Okay.
54:54
SPEAKER_00: Am I gonna actually hammer that?
54:57
SPEAKER_00: No, you're an adult, figure it out, and try going without that once in a while and just see because there might be something under there you need to discover.
55:06
SPEAKER_00: Might be.
55:07
SPEAKER_00: And it's a good thing, it's really a good thing.
55:12
SPEAKER_00: I can tell you, in this whole process of discovery, right, in my whole process of grieving and healing, the moving forward part, the hardest time in my entire life was when the seven years of grieving had stopped and life hadn't started.
55:35
SPEAKER_00: And I'm not kidding.
55:37
SPEAKER_00: It was an era of time, it was about a year in there, where I was so lost and I was so confused, and I was so alone, and I was I didn't know what to do with myself.
55:56
SPEAKER_00: I had been working for pennies to survive because I was hurting all the time, and I was grieving literally on a daily basis, seven years worth.
56:05
SPEAKER_00: So now we're talking the eighth year, right?
56:08
SPEAKER_00: And I had no television, I went a decade, no TV at all, zero.
56:13
SPEAKER_00: Never even, never even saw one.
56:15
SPEAKER_00: I wasn't in a grocery store for 10 years, and what happens was I meet a friend, her name was Donna, and she was just the sweetest, kindest human on the planet.
56:28
SPEAKER_00: And we became friends, and she introduced me to her kids, and we started dating a little bit.
56:36
SPEAKER_00: And she was I introduced her to my therapist, so she knew about the inner child, she knew my path, she knew the intensity of my path, and she was just so kind.
56:49
SPEAKER_00: She would, she literally helped me like come back into the world in that year, truly.
56:57
SPEAKER_00: For a lot of you that don't know, I was in that seven years and I would go out into the woods.
57:04
SPEAKER_00: And numerous times I would walk as far out into the woods as I can up in the North Georgia mountains, and I would just stay out there.
57:11
SPEAKER_00: I would stay as long as I could.
57:13
SPEAKER_00: I would try to bring a little bit of food.
57:15
SPEAKER_00: I never became a frontier man in like could find berries and like survive out there.
57:19
SPEAKER_00: That I could never do that.
57:21
SPEAKER_00: I'd bring a little bit of food so I could stay as long as I could.
57:24
SPEAKER_00: I'd stay a day or two, and I'd always try to find a creek to be next to.
57:28
SPEAKER_00: And numerous times I'd be out there and myself and the trees, there was no difference.
57:34
SPEAKER_00: The veil was literally removed, myself and the trees.
57:38
SPEAKER_00: And I remember thinking back then that if I would have had my choice, I would have hitched hike west, found 5,000 acres, figured out how to, you know, be the frontier man and live off the land, and I'd have gone and I'd have stayed in bliss with the trees.
57:56
SPEAKER_00: The challenge was I was too close to my family.
57:58
SPEAKER_00: I had parents that were still alive.
58:00
SPEAKER_00: I wasn't dating anybody at the time, but my family ties.
58:03
SPEAKER_00: I grew up deeply traditional Italian, and family is everything to me.
58:09
SPEAKER_00: It really is, still is.
58:10
SPEAKER_00: And my parents were still both alive.
58:12
SPEAKER_00: And it was because of that bond with my parents, which I never saw even at these times, that I could never just go get lost in 5,000 acres because I would have.
59:08
SPEAKER_00: It scared the bejesus out of me.
59:11
SPEAKER_00: I was like, what the hell is that?
59:14
SPEAKER_00: And she laughed.
59:16
SPEAKER_00: She said, Joe, you're in the milk section.
59:18
SPEAKER_00: Well, the decade that was gone, grocery stores had advanced.
59:24
SPEAKER_00: Then we go buy the produce and it starts raining on the produce.
59:28
SPEAKER_00: And some of the things that society caught up with, I was completely away from and out of nowhere, I'm like in it again.
59:35
SPEAKER_00: And as crazy as it sounds, Donna was the sweetness that just helped me through that.
59:40
SPEAKER_00: And I have some other friends.
59:41
SPEAKER_00: Summer was around a little bit, and other people were around, but she was the main one, which kind of helped me figure out how to do life again, not processing every minute of every day.
59:54
SPEAKER_00: And the moving forward, I just kept taking another step and another step.
59:59
SPEAKER_00: It wasn't until much later that I really learned that I could ask God for guidance.
1:00:06
SPEAKER_00: While I was processing all the time, I would say I would ask for strength and courage, but I never really asked for guidance.
1:00:13
SPEAKER_00: It was later where I started asking for guidance.
1:00:16
SPEAKER_00: And I've shared the story.
1:00:18
SPEAKER_00: I started a business and I got into, I eventually got married and all that, which that isn't really what today's episode is about, but here we are today.
1:00:27
SPEAKER_00: And through that period, I started to grow.
1:00:33
SPEAKER_00: I got real involved, even more involved with 12 steps.
1:00:36
SPEAKER_00: I started working the steps, and I came to understand what the 12th step is.
1:00:42
SPEAKER_00: For those of you that don't know, 12-step programs are 12 action steps to get you closer to a power greater than yourself.
1:00:49
SPEAKER_00: 12 steps have nothing to do with alcohol, nothing to do with sex, has nothing to do with food, had nothing to do with any of that nonsense.
1:00:55
SPEAKER_00: Zero nada.
1:00:56
SPEAKER_00: Has nothing to do with that.
1:00:58
SPEAKER_00: Which all what are you talking about?
1:00:59
SPEAKER_00: Alcoholics Anonymous.
1:01:00
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, no kidding.
1:01:01
SPEAKER_00: But it has nothing to do with alcohol.
1:01:03
SPEAKER_00: Nothing.
1:01:04
SPEAKER_00: AA is a 12-step approach to giving you a different action step instead of drinking.
1:01:11
SPEAKER_00: When you're in the center of AA, you have plenty of action steps to do instead of drinking.
1:01:16
SPEAKER_00: And quite honestly, the relationship you build with a higher power is the gap between you and your last drink.
1:01:23
SPEAKER_00: And that's where eventually, through the whole discovery process, there's 12 steps.
1:01:27
SPEAKER_00: They're all discovery steps.
1:01:30
SPEAKER_00: First one is powerless, the twelfth one is service, and there's identification of discovery between there.
1:01:36
SPEAKER_00: It's why eventually you hear people say, I'm a grateful, recovering alcoholic.
1:01:41
SPEAKER_00: I remember the first time I thought, I heard that, I said, that is the stupidest thing I've ever heard.
1:01:45
SPEAKER_00: Who the heck could be a grateful anything in these bozo rooms?
1:01:49
SPEAKER_00: That was how I used to think about it.
1:01:51
SPEAKER_00: And what I realized is that over time, the gratitude was because they had created such a strong communion with their higher power that their need for alcohol was removed because their communion with the higher power was greater than that.
1:02:06
SPEAKER_00: And I just thought that was amazing.
1:02:08
SPEAKER_00: I never knew what the hell they were talking about until later.
1:02:11
SPEAKER_00: And then eventually I became a grateful recovering alcoholic.
1:02:15
SPEAKER_00: I did.
1:02:16
SPEAKER_00: And as all that happened, in my own process, I really thought in the emotional side of all this, because it's 12-step folks, 12-step programs are not about emotional growth.
1:02:27
SPEAKER_00: They're not, they're not designed for emotional growth.
1:02:30
SPEAKER_00: It's what therapy's for.
1:02:32
SPEAKER_00: That's inner child work and all that.
1:02:33
SPEAKER_00: That is not 12-step.
1:02:34
SPEAKER_00: 12-step, don't drink and kill yourself today if you're an alcoholic.
1:02:37
SPEAKER_00: That's what 12-steps are.
1:02:39
SPEAKER_00: If Alanon, don't lose yourself today, you know.
1:02:42
SPEAKER_00: That's what it's for.
1:02:43
SPEAKER_00: It's not about personal emotional growth.
1:02:46
SPEAKER_00: It's a different thing, inner child work.
1:02:48
SPEAKER_00: Well, for me, when I really felt like I'd healed the core of my addiction, I thought I had conquered the world.
1:02:59
SPEAKER_00: And then I had to start working on my codependence.
1:03:04
SPEAKER_00: And I don't think there's anything more emotionally more challenging than healing your codependence.
1:03:11
SPEAKER_00: First off, it's very, very hard to see.
1:03:13
SPEAKER_00: Secondly, it brings up all sorts of neglect and abandonment issues.
1:03:19
SPEAKER_00: And thirdly, it's such a confusing thing because the belief system in your human consciousness of your old you, you really think that the action steps you're taking are love.
1:03:31
SPEAKER_00: You've convinced yourself society says it's love, but in reality it's codependence.
1:03:36
SPEAKER_00: And how do you know the difference?
1:03:38
SPEAKER_00: And this is where I challenge people all the time, literally all the time, when I support people.
1:03:44
SPEAKER_00: And just so everybody knows, when I say my clients, really the best way to talk about the people I support, I've supported people for 30 plus years in my 12-step service.
1:03:55
SPEAKER_00: I charge nobody anything.
1:03:57
SPEAKER_00: Everything is free.
1:03:58
SPEAKER_00: It's overflow.
1:03:59
SPEAKER_00: It's me giving back my wisdom and my support and my love to people.
1:04:05
SPEAKER_00: That's what it is.
1:04:05
SPEAKER_00: That's what the Wii Podcast is here.
1:04:08
SPEAKER_00: Any of the websites that I support, Divorce Post or any of the other ones, I am not affiliated with them at all.
1:04:15
SPEAKER_00: Zero.
1:04:16
SPEAKER_00: I share about it.
1:04:18
SPEAKER_00: Divorce Post especially is the one I've been sharing about.
1:04:20
SPEAKER_00: Not that I know these people, I've never met these people.
1:04:23
SPEAKER_00: I still can't, I don't, I don't know how to get them.
1:04:25
SPEAKER_00: So, but I have no affiliation with them at all.
1:04:29
SPEAKER_00: I share it because I see it.
1:04:32
SPEAKER_00: I saw the founder, and this is an enlightened, spiritually enlightened person, deeply emotionally connected to her heart, the founder of that organization.
1:04:40
SPEAKER_00: And it's a give back organization.
1:04:44
SPEAKER_00: I have a passion for that.
1:04:45
SPEAKER_00: My role here at the We Podcast is to be the voice, our voice as we grow a bigger, as a bigger footprint.
1:04:53
SPEAKER_00: The We Podcast is awareness, and then I'm going to be sharing my places that I find that are support back.
1:05:02
SPEAKER_00: So right now I'm looking for an online support for addiction and recovery.
1:05:08
SPEAKER_00: I'm looking.
1:05:09
SPEAKER_00: I think I found a place.
1:05:10
SPEAKER_00: And I haven't talked to him yet.
1:05:12
SPEAKER_00: And I've got two different nonprofits that are where Joe's going to give my$40.
1:05:20
SPEAKER_00: And if you want to, they'll be on my website.
1:05:22
SPEAKER_00: You can donate there too.
1:05:24
SPEAKER_00: But I'm going to be always encouraging to ask you, what's yours?
1:05:27
SPEAKER_00: Go find yours.
1:05:28
SPEAKER_00: Well, when I realized how difficult codependence is, I never went to Al-Anon meetings, but I became very familiar with that concept.
1:05:38
SPEAKER_00: And the story I want to tell today is because today I see people that will stay stuck in the taglines of a program instead of moving forward.
1:05:56
SPEAKER_00: And that's one of the challenges I'm going to put back out on the people today.
1:05:59
SPEAKER_00: I'm talking You 20-year 12-steppers out there.
1:06:02
SPEAKER_00: I'm not talking to a brand new person.
1:06:04
SPEAKER_00: This conversation for the next 15 minutes, it's for you, 20-year 12-steppers.
1:06:08
SPEAKER_00: And why do I get to say it?
1:06:10
SPEAKER_00: Because I'm a 33, 32-year 12-stepper.
1:06:13
SPEAKER_00: Okay.
1:06:14
SPEAKER_00: So I'm talking to you 10-year 12-steppers, 15-year, 20-year 12-steppers.
1:06:19
SPEAKER_00: Let me make it as clear as I can possibly make it to you.
1:06:23
SPEAKER_00: The 12-steps are not designed to give you a scapegoat perspective to stay small.
1:06:32
SPEAKER_00: Nada.
1:06:34
SPEAKER_00: Zero-ness.
1:06:35
SPEAKER_00: And I see it all the time.
1:06:39
SPEAKER_00: 12 steps, special.
1:06:41
SPEAKER_00: Now we're talking Al-Anon.
1:06:42
SPEAKER_00: You heard me talk about AA, you heard me talk about addicts.
1:06:46
SPEAKER_00: You know, you know my, if you've been around, you know my bigness associated.
1:06:52
SPEAKER_00: I am empathetic as all get out for the alcoholic who can't stop drinking.
1:06:56
SPEAKER_00: I'm big and angry for the alcoholic that takes his rage out on partners around.
1:07:03
SPEAKER_00: I can only speak from the male side.
1:07:05
SPEAKER_00: I've never sponsored a female alcoholic.
1:07:07
SPEAKER_00: And 98% of the male alcoholics I've sponsored, at some point, they take their rage out on their partners.
1:07:15
SPEAKER_00: And I have no tolerance for that.
1:07:17
SPEAKER_00: None.
1:07:18
SPEAKER_00: That's why I say go get your 15 minutes of rage out.
1:07:22
SPEAKER_00: So, but this time I'm talking about the codependent side, the other side, the the person, the male or female who lives in the belief system, it's their responsibility to rescue.
1:07:34
SPEAKER_00: How do you know that belief system?
1:07:36
SPEAKER_00: If in your, when you're hearing your thoughts, if somebody else's name is in your thoughts, that's codependence.
1:07:44
SPEAKER_00: For example, I have to help them.
1:07:46
SPEAKER_00: No, you don't.
1:07:47
SPEAKER_00: I have to fix them.
1:07:48
SPEAKER_00: No, you don't.
1:07:49
SPEAKER_00: I have to take care of them.
1:07:51
SPEAKER_00: No, you don't.
1:07:52
SPEAKER_00: Now I'm not talking about moms and dads with children.
1:07:55
SPEAKER_00: I'm talking about moms and dads with other adults.
1:07:58
SPEAKER_00: That's what I'm talking about.
1:07:59
SPEAKER_00: I'm not talking about parenting.
1:08:01
SPEAKER_00: I'm talking about caregiving, rescuing.
1:08:05
SPEAKER_00: It's a falsehood.
1:08:06
SPEAKER_00: It's just a falsehood.
1:08:07
SPEAKER_00: It's not true.
1:08:08
SPEAKER_00: And most people, well, I have to.
1:08:10
SPEAKER_00: I have to take care of them.
1:08:11
SPEAKER_00: It's my responsibility to take care of them.
1:08:13
SPEAKER_00: It's I have to.
1:08:15
SPEAKER_00: And they label the taking care of delusion love.
1:08:20
SPEAKER_00: It's not.
1:08:21
SPEAKER_00: In fact, if you're the person out there that keeps your alcoholic partner from hitting a bottom, you're putting nails in his coffin.
1:08:29
SPEAKER_00: Hear me.
1:08:30
SPEAKER_00: And I know that probably sounds hateful.
1:08:32
SPEAKER_00: I really don't care.
1:08:33
SPEAKER_00: If you're keeping your alcoholic partner from hitting a bottom, you're you are participating in their death.
1:08:41
SPEAKER_00: I said that to a person not long ago, my couple up in Connecticut, which by the way, they're doing fantastic.
1:08:48
SPEAKER_00: I said to the female, get out, get away, go get safe, and keep your backside on your couch.
1:08:55
SPEAKER_00: But I have to this, no, you don't.
1:08:56
SPEAKER_00: Keep your backside on your couch.
1:08:58
SPEAKER_00: And to her credit, she did.
1:09:00
SPEAKER_00: And she felt a lot of grief.
1:09:03
SPEAKER_00: She felt a lot of pain.
1:09:04
SPEAKER_00: She felt a lot of angst.
1:09:06
SPEAKER_00: She felt a lot of misery.
1:09:08
SPEAKER_00: She grieved her grief while she stayed on her couch.
1:09:13
SPEAKER_00: And during that time, those three or four days where she's on her couch, getting support from her mother and her family and grieving her feelings, her alcoholic husband met his demons.
1:09:25
SPEAKER_00: Literally, his devil voices, his massive voices, his loneliness, his angst, his I can't breathe, his bottom, his hurt.
1:09:35
SPEAKER_00: I want to kill myself.
1:09:36
SPEAKER_00: They took the gun, they took the keys.
1:09:38
SPEAKER_00: He couldn't kill himself.
1:09:39
SPEAKER_00: So it's all BS.
1:09:41
SPEAKER_00: But you know what happened because he was in massive amounts of pain because the wife didn't rescue him?
1:09:49
SPEAKER_00: That's right.
1:09:50
SPEAKER_00: He reached out.
1:09:51
SPEAKER_00: He called his sponsor eventually.
1:09:53
SPEAKER_00: He's now back in the program, probably close to a month.
1:09:56
SPEAKER_00: And she's feeling better than ever.
1:09:59
SPEAKER_00: So codependence is so toxic and confusing.
1:10:06
SPEAKER_00: So I have empathy for it.
1:10:07
SPEAKER_00: I do.
1:10:08
SPEAKER_00: I'm strong about it because it's social delusion.
1:10:12
SPEAKER_00: It's socially made up.
1:10:15
SPEAKER_00: Your responsibility is to take care of you.
1:10:19
SPEAKER_00: Other people's responsibilities take care of them.
1:10:23
SPEAKER_00: I've got a guy, John, who's going to be on this show as a guest, and who told his 20-year-old daughter, something like that.
1:10:31
SPEAKER_00: I'm going to have him tell the whole story.
1:10:33
SPEAKER_00: No, you can't come home.
1:10:35
SPEAKER_00: She was addicted to drugs.
1:10:36
SPEAKER_00: No, you can't come home.
1:10:38
SPEAKER_00: And he said, Hardest thing we ever did, Joe.
1:10:41
SPEAKER_00: My wife and I cried for a week.
1:10:45
SPEAKER_00: They thought they were giving her a death sentence.
1:10:48
SPEAKER_00: But they knew if they kept rescuing her from her pain, she was going to kill herself on drugs.
1:10:53
SPEAKER_00: The great news about this story, 15 years later, this girl got into treatment.
1:10:59
SPEAKER_00: She's now literally a therapist in drug rehab.
1:11:03
SPEAKER_00: Do all of them make it?
1:11:05
SPEAKER_00: No, unfortunately.
1:11:07
SPEAKER_00: No.
1:11:08
SPEAKER_00: But rescue doesn't work.
1:11:11
SPEAKER_00: And the rescue, 99.9% of the time, is because of your own pain.
1:11:17
SPEAKER_00: Period.
1:11:18
SPEAKER_00: Well, at Al-Anon, what Al-Anon does is Al-Anon basically makes sure that you see your side of the street and you let the alcoholic see theirs and you see your side.
1:11:28
SPEAKER_00: And you just keep saying, Well, you know, it's how I perceive things.
1:11:31
SPEAKER_00: And I have to make sure that I'm seeing things right.
1:11:33
SPEAKER_00: And I have to this and I have to that, which is all wonderful when it's just you and you're a couple years in.
1:11:40
SPEAKER_00: Now let's fast forward 10 years.
1:11:42
SPEAKER_00: If you've been an Al-Anon for 10 years and you still have a drunk in the household, why?
1:11:48
SPEAKER_00: Why?
1:11:50
SPEAKER_00: Sooner or later you have to ask yourself that question.
1:11:53
SPEAKER_00: What's even worse is that I see people, they will not justify the unloving behavior, but they can guard themselves from acting as if the unloving behavior is hurting them by saying, Well, it's just how I perceived it.
1:12:15
SPEAKER_00: He didn't really mean to yell at me.
1:12:17
SPEAKER_00: He was drunk.
1:12:17
SPEAKER_00: So I have to take my fear and my anger to my meeting because, you know, he's being him, and I have to take my stuff to my meeting.
1:12:28
SPEAKER_00: It's great.
1:12:29
SPEAKER_00: My question is, why are you still there?
1:12:31
SPEAKER_00: And that's what we're going to talk about right now, folks.
1:12:34
SPEAKER_00: I have a long-term gentleman that I've supported for years.
1:12:42
SPEAKER_00: He's not quite as sober as me, but he'd been around a long time.
1:12:46
SPEAKER_00: He's just freaking nuts.
1:12:47
SPEAKER_00: He's been nuts, he's always nuts, and he's still nuts.
1:12:52
SPEAKER_00: And his wife, I don't know her as well, but they're both in a program.
1:12:58
SPEAKER_00: He hasn't drank probably, I don't know, 15, 18 years.
1:13:01
SPEAKER_00: Wife in the program and Alan even longer.
1:13:03
SPEAKER_00: And long story short, the toxic nonsense that happens from the emotional immaturity of the alcoholic causes deep angst and deep harm in the household.
1:13:22
SPEAKER_00: Just does.
1:13:24
SPEAKER_00: And this particular experience, and why I'm bringing this up, is because this particular experience, multiple decades ago, this couple had three kids, and interestingly enough, and both parents are in 12-set programs, but interestingly enough, all three of their kids became heroin addicts.
1:13:47
SPEAKER_00: All three became heroin addicts.
1:13:50
SPEAKER_00: You know, the heroin on the street.
1:13:56
SPEAKER_00: No, I'm not.
1:13:59
SPEAKER_00: But what type of environment creates a childhood world where three of three all become heroin addicts?
1:14:13
SPEAKER_00: And it's an environment of emotional toxicity, period.
1:14:19
SPEAKER_00: And I'm going to share both sides of that emotional toxicity, and then I'm going to share why I'm actually bringing that up today.
1:14:26
SPEAKER_00: Because the dad, he's calmed, he's old now, but he's calmed, was a toxic screamer, yeller, cusser, making less than, putting the boys down.
1:14:40
SPEAKER_00: Was there any type of physical abuse?
1:14:42
SPEAKER_00: No.
1:14:43
SPEAKER_00: You know, I'm sure they got slapped a little bit.
1:14:45
SPEAKER_00: But like physical abuse, no, sexual abuse, absolutely zero.
1:14:49
SPEAKER_00: But just emotional toxic abuse.
1:14:52
SPEAKER_00: Emotional toxic abuse.
1:14:54
SPEAKER_00: And the dad had come in screaming, hey, blah, blah, blah, you know, and and when the kids were little, four or five, he'd pick them up, put them around his waist, the kids would lock their arms around his neck, and then he'd let go.
1:15:09
SPEAKER_00: Now, here's a six-year-old, four-year-old.
1:15:11
SPEAKER_00: How long do you think a four-year-old can hold on before eventually the four-year-old has to let go in terror?
1:15:18
SPEAKER_00: And then he'd catch him right before he hit the ground.
1:15:20
SPEAKER_00: It's toxic garbage.
1:15:25
SPEAKER_00: And no one ever said anything.
1:15:29
SPEAKER_00: No one ever did anything.
1:15:30
SPEAKER_00: I was never close enough to say or do anything.
1:15:34
SPEAKER_00: It was never really my place to intervene.
1:15:37
SPEAKER_00: Now, what am I talking about?
1:15:38
SPEAKER_00: Joe, I thought you were talking about the Alan on side.
1:15:40
SPEAKER_00: I am.
1:15:41
SPEAKER_00: Because you know what is even more toxic than the dad being so abandoning and abusive to the kids emotionally, is the mom sitting there watching it.
1:15:53
SPEAKER_00: The mom doing nothing.
1:15:55
SPEAKER_00: The mom not stopping it.
1:15:57
SPEAKER_00: The mom not throwing the drunk out.
1:16:00
SPEAKER_00: Well, I can't be.
1:16:01
SPEAKER_00: No, that's BS.
1:16:04
SPEAKER_00: Three kids, he'd have to work just like I did.
1:16:07
SPEAKER_00: I gave 40% of my income to my past wife for 10 years.
1:16:13
SPEAKER_00: She would have been financially fine, probably better off.
1:16:16
SPEAKER_00: So the dad, toxically abusive.
1:16:25
SPEAKER_00: Yelling, cussing, screaming, clingy, you know, and the mom not protecting the kids.
1:16:36
SPEAKER_00: Which is more abusive?
1:16:39
SPEAKER_00: My opinion, the mom.
1:16:42
SPEAKER_00: Why?
1:16:43
SPEAKER_00: Because the dad is abusive, but the mom was neglectful.
1:16:49
SPEAKER_00: Period.
1:16:50
SPEAKER_00: Did that cause all three of their kids to be heroin addicts?
1:16:53
SPEAKER_00: Did those kids have a choice when they were 17, 18, 19 years old when they popped their first pill?
1:17:00
SPEAKER_00: No.
1:17:01
SPEAKER_00: No.
1:17:02
SPEAKER_00: Why?
1:17:03
SPEAKER_00: Because all their friends were doing it.
1:17:05
SPEAKER_00: Well, why did they do it, Joe?
1:17:07
SPEAKER_00: Why?
1:17:09
SPEAKER_00: Because their esteem, their value, their worth, and their okaineness was crucified by somebody who was in AA and by somebody who is in Al-Anon the entire time.
1:17:24
SPEAKER_00: That's a fact.
1:17:25
SPEAKER_00: It's a true story.
1:17:28
SPEAKER_00: So kids, when they're around their peers, it's hard enough with the biggest of big, with the most confident, with the most self-esteem, with the highest esteem to say no.
1:17:43
SPEAKER_00: They didn't have a prayer because their only solace, their only community, their only communion was with their friends.
1:17:52
SPEAKER_00: Whatever their friends did, they did.
1:17:55
SPEAKER_00: Period.
1:17:56
SPEAKER_00: And in this era of time, when I learned that the drug of choice back then, now we're talking good 20 years ago, probably, was five dollars a pill.
1:18:08
SPEAKER_00: And it was chemically designed.
1:18:09
SPEAKER_00: Once you took one, you were hooked.
1:18:12
SPEAKER_00: That's how it was designed.
1:18:14
SPEAKER_00: These boys didn't have a prayer.
1:18:17
SPEAKER_00: One of these boys died.
1:18:19
SPEAKER_00: And two of them made it.
1:18:23
SPEAKER_00: Two of them now are grown and working and whatever.
1:18:27
SPEAKER_00: Well, why do I bring that story up?
1:18:30
SPEAKER_00: Because way back when one of these boys had a baby, and that baby is now 16 years old.
1:18:41
SPEAKER_00: 17 years old.
1:18:43
SPEAKER_00: And that baby now, she lives in that same environment.
1:18:48
SPEAKER_00: And the toxicity in the environment is the same.
1:18:54
SPEAKER_00: Is it aggressive and abusive and cussing?
1:18:57
SPEAKER_00: No.
1:18:58
SPEAKER_00: But the alcoholic, who now is probably, I don't know, 25 years sober, clingy, surrogate spouse, lovey dovey, dovey, dovey.
1:19:12
SPEAKER_00: Oh, come sit on my lap.
1:19:14
SPEAKER_00: No sexual abuse, folks.
1:19:15
SPEAKER_00: No, because if there was, you know, I would be telling you right now.
1:19:18
SPEAKER_00: And what's worse is the mom is teaching the daughter the cliches of the program.
1:19:27
SPEAKER_00: Well, he's just been him.
1:19:29
SPEAKER_00: Just ignore it.
1:19:31
SPEAKER_00: He's just, you know, he is who he is.
1:19:34
SPEAKER_00: You just have to accept him for him.
1:19:37
SPEAKER_00: You just have to, you know, it's how you perceive it.
1:19:42
SPEAKER_00: I'm trying not to cuss.
1:19:44
SPEAKER_00: But this, folks, is as toxic of abuse as there is and cloaking it in 12 steps.
1:19:56
SPEAKER_00: That is emotional trauma happening.
1:20:01
SPEAKER_00: And this precious little girl, she's got all sorts of issues.
1:20:05
SPEAKER_00: Of course, she's in psychiatrist.
1:20:07
SPEAKER_00: I said just the other day, by the way, did anybody go into the psychiatrist with her and tell the family history?
1:20:15
SPEAKER_00: Same environment raised three heroin addicts.
1:20:19
SPEAKER_00: Did anyone tell the psychiatrist of this granddaughter that?
1:20:25
SPEAKER_00: I never got an answer.
1:20:27
SPEAKER_00: Well, you can't, it's anonymity.
1:20:30
SPEAKER_00: That's dog.
1:20:32
SPEAKER_00: I'm trying not to cuss.
1:20:33
SPEAKER_00: That's just false.
1:20:34
SPEAKER_00: That's a lie.
1:20:35
SPEAKER_00: That's toxic.
1:20:37
SPEAKER_00: That's cloaking 12 steps.
1:20:41
SPEAKER_00: That's using 12 steps and Al-Anon techniques to create neglect, to justify.
1:20:51
SPEAKER_00: Literally, the mom is teaching a six, 17-year-old girl how to use the 12 or the Al Anon techniques to justify being abused, to close herself down, act like it didn't happen, look at your own stuff, and accept him for who he is.
1:21:16
SPEAKER_00: She's a child and the mom's not protecting her.
1:21:21
SPEAKER_00: And believing she's doing the right thing.
1:21:26
SPEAKER_00: Because it's a 12-step in Al Anon.
1:21:30
SPEAKER_00: That's garbage.
1:21:34
SPEAKER_00: Complete and utter garbage.
1:21:38
SPEAKER_00: There have been different times with my oldest son.
1:21:41
SPEAKER_00: My oldest son and his mother have some challenge because he's asked and he's asked and he's asked and he's asked his mother to stop texting him all the time.
1:21:52
SPEAKER_00: She is this sweet, kind hello is 40 words, goodbye is 140 words, and how are you is 700 words.
1:22:02
SPEAKER_00: So I loved her.
1:22:03
SPEAKER_00: She's the sweetest, kindest human on the planet.
1:22:06
SPEAKER_00: For my oldest son, it drives him nuts.
1:22:09
SPEAKER_00: But you know what I taught my oldest son?
1:22:11
SPEAKER_00: Block her.
1:22:13
SPEAKER_00: Block her.
1:22:14
SPEAKER_00: You're 19 years old.
1:22:16
SPEAKER_00: Block her.
1:22:17
SPEAKER_00: You've asked and you've asked and you've asked and you've asked.
1:22:21
SPEAKER_00: And when you ask for your needs, if the human you're asking for can't give you your needs, it's up to you to take care of you.
1:22:29
SPEAKER_00: Now, a lot of people would say that's disrespectful, Joe, to his mama.
1:22:33
SPEAKER_00: That's a load.
1:22:35
SPEAKER_00: His mother's not respecting his needs.
1:22:38
SPEAKER_00: Period.
1:22:39
SPEAKER_00: How do I know?
1:22:41
SPEAKER_00: Because I'm the one that taught him how to ask for his needs kindly, repetitively, over and over and over and over.
1:22:49
SPEAKER_00: So I said in this particular environment to the young girl, you ever think about blocking him?
1:22:56
SPEAKER_00: Oh, I would get in so much trouble, Mr.
1:22:58
SPEAKER_00: Joe, if I blocked him.
1:23:01
SPEAKER_00: That's going to be a conversation I can't have with mom and dad because this child will get multiple texts from her grandfather throughout the day.
1:23:15
SPEAKER_00: And is he trying to hurt her?
1:23:20
SPEAKER_00: No.
1:23:21
SPEAKER_00: In his twisted brain, he literally believes he's showing her love.
1:23:28
SPEAKER_00: He's not.
1:23:30
SPEAKER_00: And the mom is so emotionally closed down and makes it through her day with the cliches of Al Anon, and she's teaching this little girl to do the same thing, who's not a little girl anymore.
1:23:46
SPEAKER_00: And folks, that's where I say the 12 steps are not designed to keep you small.
1:23:56
SPEAKER_00: And if you're using them to keep you small, it's time to stop.
1:24:01
SPEAKER_00: Read the 12th step.
1:24:04
SPEAKER_00: The 12th step says, now that we've gained the promises of the program, it's time for us to give back.
1:24:10
SPEAKER_00: It's time to us to live.
1:24:12
SPEAKER_00: It's time for us to go out in society.
1:24:14
SPEAKER_00: It's time for us to be big.
1:24:15
SPEAKER_00: It's time for us to be the biggest us we can possibly be.
1:24:19
SPEAKER_00: That's what it's like to live in God's image, to be the best you.
1:24:25
SPEAKER_00: For those of you out there right now that are using the 12-step program to cloak your toxic environment.
1:24:32
SPEAKER_00: I'm looking at my side of the street.
1:24:35
SPEAKER_00: I'm going to ask you, why are you still on the same street?
1:24:40
SPEAKER_00: At certain places in time, you have to change the street.
1:24:47
SPEAKER_00: I did.
1:24:48
SPEAKER_00: Actually, I didn't.
1:24:49
SPEAKER_00: My past wife walked in.
1:24:52
SPEAKER_00: Joe, I divorced you.
1:24:54
SPEAKER_00: And I don't love you anymore.
1:24:57
SPEAKER_00: Why didn't she love me anymore?
1:24:59
SPEAKER_00: Because I couldn't put give her what she needed.
1:25:04
SPEAKER_00: I, in Joe's belief, had a God of my understanding, and I was not, could not, and would not put her in front of that.
1:25:14
SPEAKER_00: Just Joe's interpretation.
1:25:17
SPEAKER_00: So for those of you out there that are in those relationships now, that it's toxic, but you're making it because you're a 12-stepper and you're using the program to make it, folks, it's time to now use the program and to use the strength and courage of a power greater than yourself to change the street, to get into a world that mirrors your glass full instead of staying in the world of your glass empty and managing your glass empty world by using the cliches of the program.
1:25:54
SPEAKER_00: Now, if you're brand new, do what the heck you have to do to get okay first.
1:25:59
SPEAKER_00: I'm talking to you, Miss 10-year 12-stepper.
1:26:03
SPEAKER_00: I'm talking to you, Mr.
1:26:04
SPEAKER_00: 15-year AA 12-stepper.
1:26:07
SPEAKER_00: I'm talking to you, ma'am, Miss 20-year 12-stepper.
1:26:10
SPEAKER_00: In this particular example, this person could be 40-year 12-stepper.
1:26:16
SPEAKER_00: And she's teaching her own granddaughter to close down emotionally to protect the drunk who's still a drunk.
1:26:29
SPEAKER_00: How do I know?
1:26:29
SPEAKER_00: Because his behaviors are not of God, they're of his addiction.
1:26:34
SPEAKER_00: Is he drinking?
1:26:35
SPEAKER_00: No.
1:26:36
SPEAKER_00: But his behaviors are that of an addict.
1:26:40
SPEAKER_00: And it's time.
1:26:43
SPEAKER_00: The 12th step is when we decide how do we truly know what it's like to live the moving forward.
1:26:55
SPEAKER_00: How do we know?
1:26:56
SPEAKER_00: How do we know when we're doing it?
1:26:58
SPEAKER_00: We know when we're doing it, when we're literally in that place where we've got enough overflow that we start A, giving the overflow to ourselves first, which means we get out of toxic and we give into self-love first.
1:27:12
SPEAKER_00: And then B, for those of you that are already in that place and you're looking for your next thing, it is in the place of overflow.
1:27:21
SPEAKER_00: It's in the place of giving back.
1:27:23
SPEAKER_00: Farhan, the founder of Revo, the story I'm going to tell in much more detail in my next episode.
1:27:30
SPEAKER_00: This man has a whole presentation about if all of your gifts are from God, right?
1:27:35
SPEAKER_00: We all believe that our grace and our gifts are from God.
1:27:38
SPEAKER_00: Then it's time to give back in that same grace of God.
1:27:42
SPEAKER_00: That's his message.
1:27:44
SPEAKER_00: And let me just tell you how I know that is the truth.
1:27:47
SPEAKER_00: Because so many people really believe they're going to feel better, they're going to feel whole, they're going to feel wonderful.
1:27:51
SPEAKER_00: Their life is going to be better because they just need more money.
1:27:55
SPEAKER_00: They just need the next job.
1:27:56
SPEAKER_00: They just need a new location, the new wife.
1:27:58
SPEAKER_00: How do I know that's not true?
1:28:00
SPEAKER_00: Because there are the most successful people in the world out there.
1:28:06
SPEAKER_00: And I've got a list right here.
1:28:07
SPEAKER_00: I'm going to name some of these names.
1:28:09
SPEAKER_00: If I read the names of these 20 people, I can 99% guarantee you in the modern era, anybody that has television in the modern era, every human on here, now every person doesn't know each one of these, but if I put this list of 10 out there, everybody on the globe would know some one of them.
1:28:28
SPEAKER_00: That's how famous, wealthy, traveled the world, global travelers, big musicians, millions of people love them, more money than month, done anything and everything they want.
1:28:40
SPEAKER_00: So why is it, if that was the end goal, if that brought them serenity, if that brought them oneness, if that brought them wholeness, if that brought them everything they needed, like most of us believe, then why did Elton John start the AIDS Foundation?
1:28:57
SPEAKER_00: Why did Michael J.
1:28:58
SPEAKER_00: Fox start a Parkinson's foundation?
1:29:02
SPEAKER_00: Why did LeBron James start the LeBron James Family Foundation?
1:29:07
SPEAKER_00: Why did Magic Johnson?
1:29:10
SPEAKER_00: Why did Bon Jovi?
1:29:11
SPEAKER_00: Why did Dolly Parton?
1:29:13
SPEAKER_00: Why did Leonardo da Vinci, Leonardo DiCaprio?
1:29:19
SPEAKER_00: Why did they start something new?
1:29:21
SPEAKER_00: Why did Matt Damon start water.org?
1:29:25
SPEAKER_00: Why?
1:29:27
SPEAKER_00: These are handsome, wealthy, anybody they want, anywhere on the planet, could do anything they want.
1:29:34
SPEAKER_00: Why in their later years now?
1:29:39
SPEAKER_00: And I don't know the ages of these.
1:29:42
SPEAKER_00: I know a lot of those have been around a long time.
1:29:44
SPEAKER_00: Elton John's been doing it forever.
1:29:46
SPEAKER_00: Why?
1:29:48
SPEAKER_00: Because the way they live serenity is not by their money, is not by their fame, it's not by their travel, is not by the number of cars they have.
1:29:57
SPEAKER_00: It's by giving back.
1:29:59
SPEAKER_00: Period.
1:30:00
SPEAKER_00: So doesn't it make sense if somebody with all the money and all the fame and all the travel and anything they want, handsome people like Matt Damon and you know, handsome men and women like that, you know, I don't know their marital statuses.
1:30:18
SPEAKER_00: I hope they're all married.
1:30:19
SPEAKER_00: I don't know.
1:30:20
SPEAKER_00: I even know these people, folks, and I don't watch TV.
1:30:23
SPEAKER_00: My bottom line is they could be on any podcast, they would be invited to any party, they would be anything and anything they wanted.
1:30:31
SPEAKER_00: They could be around any environment they wanted.
1:30:34
SPEAKER_00: Why are they starting nonprofits?
1:30:37
SPEAKER_00: The answer is because something inside of them feels good when they do it.
1:30:43
SPEAKER_00: Period.
1:30:45
SPEAKER_00: So let's take that back to the rest of us, the me and you's.
1:30:49
SPEAKER_00: What did Joe do?
1:30:51
SPEAKER_00: I started Project Smile.
1:30:52
SPEAKER_00: You know, Project Smile is Project Smile is not little nonprofit I started.
1:30:56
SPEAKER_00: I say nonprofit, it's me.
1:30:58
SPEAKER_00: I'm the sole donor of Project Smile.
1:31:00
SPEAKER_00: I give about$300 a month to two different caregivers in Uganda.
1:31:05
SPEAKER_00: I said, less than a car payment a month.
1:31:10
SPEAKER_00: And the very first time I did it, I gave$50 to a little girl named Patricia because she had broken her arm.
1:31:17
SPEAKER_00: We just had to give her some money now.
1:31:19
SPEAKER_00: She's having challenges with that arm.
1:31:22
SPEAKER_00: So I'm bringing this up because we can all do it tomorrow, Tuesday.
1:31:33
SPEAKER_00: I don't care where you are in your life.
1:31:36
SPEAKER_00: I don't care how successful or not successful.
1:31:40
SPEAKER_00: I'm telling you the way you gain a sense of serenity, a sense of fullness, a sense of true okayness, a true sense that you're moving forward.
1:31:53
SPEAKER_00: Yes, of course, all the emotional healing.
1:31:56
SPEAKER_00: Yes, of course, becoming aware of old behaviors.
1:31:59
SPEAKER_00: Yes, of course, creating loving and supportive environments.
1:32:03
SPEAKER_00: Oh, yeah, by the way, have you told somebody you love them today?
1:32:06
SPEAKER_00: This young, I keep calling her a little girl because I've known her freaking forever.
1:32:09
SPEAKER_00: I've started texting her every day.
1:32:11
SPEAKER_00: I love you.
1:32:12
SPEAKER_00: I just started.
1:32:14
SPEAKER_00: I barely know her.
1:32:16
SPEAKER_00: But every day she's gonna get a text from Mr.
1:32:19
SPEAKER_00: Joe saying, How are you today, sweetie?
1:32:21
SPEAKER_00: I love you.
1:32:22
SPEAKER_00: I'm proud of you.
1:32:23
SPEAKER_00: I heard you had a tough night last night.
1:32:25
SPEAKER_00: I love you and I'm proud of you every day.
1:32:27
SPEAKER_00: Now, am I blaming her caregivers?
1:32:31
SPEAKER_00: I don't know if they do that or not.
1:32:32
SPEAKER_00: No, but what can I do today?
1:32:36
SPEAKER_00: I can text this young woman that I love her and I did.
1:32:39
SPEAKER_00: I can text her that I'm proud of her and I did.
1:32:42
SPEAKER_00: I started my little nonprofit and I'm helping people with minimal amounts of money, and so can you.
1:32:49
SPEAKER_00: You want your life to feel better, you want your world to be better, you want to wake up a month or two from today and just really feel like your world has moved forward.
1:33:00
SPEAKER_00: Keep growing, keep healing, keep giving a depth to the darkest parts.
1:33:06
SPEAKER_00: But if you really want to feel like you're moving forward, there's a power grander than you that will guide you into something where you're giving back something.
1:33:21
SPEAKER_00: Matt Damon, I heard that particular organization, if I'm not mistaken, has raised over$100 million.
1:33:28
SPEAKER_00: Now, based on his wealth and fame and stature and big heart, he has the capacity to attract$100 million.
1:33:39
SPEAKER_00: We don't, folks.
1:33:41
SPEAKER_00: You and I don't, but I can promise you you've got$20 that you could give somewhere.
1:33:49
SPEAKER_00: I guarantee you you've got 30 minutes once a month to go volunteer somewhere.
1:33:56
SPEAKER_00: Get involved somewhere.
1:33:58
SPEAKER_00: People feel isolated, people feel alone, people feel not worthy, people feel not wanted.
1:34:04
SPEAKER_00: Take action, give of your service.
1:34:09
SPEAKER_00: The greatest way not to feel alone is get up and go find someplace to volunteer.
1:34:15
SPEAKER_00: Every organization out there needs money, time, wealth, or treasures.
1:34:22
SPEAKER_00: Every organization does.
1:34:24
SPEAKER_00: That's all that's missing.
1:34:25
SPEAKER_00: And for people that have money, give it.
1:34:28
SPEAKER_00: For people that have time, give it.
1:34:31
SPEAKER_00: For people that have wisdom, give it.
1:34:34
SPEAKER_00: You want your world to feel better.
1:34:37
SPEAKER_00: What's the how-to?
1:34:39
SPEAKER_00: How do you feel better?
1:34:40
SPEAKER_00: And how will you literally look back a year from today?
1:34:45
SPEAKER_00: If every other week you volunteered at the school to help with kids that have challenged, if you volunteer at the hospital and go hold the baby, if you volunteer at the food line, I don't know where your volunteer is.
1:35:01
SPEAKER_00: You want to feel, you want to experience a different tomorrow.
1:35:05
SPEAKER_00: You want August the 30th, 2027 to literally feel completely different than today.
1:35:14
SPEAKER_00: Find your place and start giving back.
1:35:18
SPEAKER_00: Five dollars or five million.
1:35:20
SPEAKER_00: It doesn't matter.
1:35:21
SPEAKER_00: It isn't the quantity, it's the following of the guidance system that's in you.
1:35:28
SPEAKER_00: We all have the same guidance system.
1:35:31
SPEAKER_00: We all have the same divinity.
1:35:33
SPEAKER_00: The We podcast exploding around the globe because my divinity is talking to yours.
1:35:39
SPEAKER_00: You are true spiritual warriors, or you would never be able to be on this podcast.
1:35:44
SPEAKER_00: You're true spiritual warriors because you made it over an hour and a half on this podcast.
1:35:48
SPEAKER_00: Living your spiritual warrior on the Tuesday morning, as you've already done your emotional growth, or as you're continuing to do your emotional growth, it's time to find your thing to start giving back to.
1:36:26
SPEAKER_00: One I'm gonna be volunteering for.
1:36:29
SPEAKER_00: How do I volunteer?
1:36:30
SPEAKER_00: If I get this place and I can create, if I can sense that the founder has his higher power in place, I will put him on my website on this podcast, and I will tell all of you, every podcast, about this particular organization.
1:36:44
SPEAKER_00: What does Joe get out of that?
1:36:46
SPEAKER_00: Helps me feel better, helps me sleep at night.
1:36:49
SPEAKER_00: Do I make money off it?
1:36:50
SPEAKER_00: No.
1:36:51
SPEAKER_00: No.
1:36:52
SPEAKER_00: The other one is a man that's literally hands on the ground in South Memphis doing things in South Memphis for really challenged people.
1:37:04
SPEAKER_00: That's a particular organization, again, once I get his permission, that I'm personally going to give my$10 to.
1:37:10
SPEAKER_00: And then there's another organization where she is literally creating an income opportunity for women that have been trafficked.
1:37:17
SPEAKER_00: So the other three, I haven't even got the permission from this first one, but all four of them over time will be on my directory page of the Wii Podcast.
1:37:29
SPEAKER_00: Why?
1:37:30
SPEAKER_00: Because all of them, I live what I teach, I live what I share, and I live a cool life.
1:37:39
SPEAKER_00: I really do.
1:37:41
SPEAKER_00: I live a life that's blessed from the inside out.
1:37:47
SPEAKER_00: Do I have more money than month?
1:37:49
SPEAKER_00: No, I've got one good car.
1:37:52
SPEAKER_00: My other car.
1:37:53
SPEAKER_00: And my oldest son has it.
1:37:54
SPEAKER_00: My other car, my son, Ryan and I, we joke all the time because the front end, it rattles.
1:38:00
SPEAKER_00: We're like, so one of these days, Dad, this car's just gonna stop.
1:38:03
SPEAKER_00: I know when it stops, then we'll get another one.
1:38:07
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, that's where I live right now.
1:38:10
SPEAKER_00: Do I have more money than month?
1:38:12
SPEAKER_00: I am blessed to say I have enough money each month.
1:38:15
SPEAKER_00: You know, the last time I was on vacation, besides the cruise that Miss Wendy gave me, I don't know, 30 years ago at least.
1:38:23
SPEAKER_00: Do I have all sorts of no clothes?
1:38:26
SPEAKER_00: No, I don't.
1:38:27
SPEAKER_00: I'm just a normal guy, just like y'all.
1:38:29
SPEAKER_00: I am no different than any of you.
1:38:30
SPEAKER_00: Now, there's some of you I can tell you, you have a lot more or money than month, but I don't.
1:38:35
SPEAKER_00: But I can pretty much guarantee you, I will put my sense of serenity, my sense of wholeness, my sense of overflow equal to or greater than most of you.
1:38:45
SPEAKER_00: And I say that honestly.
1:38:46
SPEAKER_00: I want you all to live where I live.
1:38:50
SPEAKER_00: Every time I'm on WhatsApp with my caregivers, every time I get a picture, look at my stuff, follow me on social media, look at Project Smile on social media.
1:39:00
SPEAKER_00: You'll see, you'll see.
1:39:02
SPEAKER_00: Right now, we're putting a video up on social media.
1:39:05
SPEAKER_00: Six months ago, I gave this group$150 and they planted beans.
1:39:10
SPEAKER_00: They're eating those beans for a year.
1:39:12
SPEAKER_00: Right now, just this past two weeks, I gave my other group$160.
1:39:17
SPEAKER_00: They planted an acre of corn, they call it mace.
1:39:22
SPEAKER_00: That corn will feed 22 kids for a year, 150 bucks.
1:39:29
SPEAKER_00: You wonder why my heart is so blessed?
1:39:31
SPEAKER_00: You wonder why my heart is so full?
1:39:34
SPEAKER_00: It's because I found and I'm following a part of me that every time I follow it, I feel divine.
1:39:44
SPEAKER_00: Every time I live it, I feel full.
1:39:47
SPEAKER_00: Every time I give back, I feel fuller.
1:39:50
SPEAKER_00: And the more I feel full, the more I want to give back.
1:39:53
SPEAKER_00: The more I give back, the more I feel full.
1:39:55
SPEAKER_00: And that's where I'm going to encourage all of you.
1:39:58
SPEAKER_00: Like I say, I do what I preach, I do what I teach, I do what I share.
1:40:02
SPEAKER_00: And you'll be hearing the names of these other places because if I can do it and feel the way I feel, why do I want you to do your it?
1:40:13
SPEAKER_00: It's because I want you to feel how I feel.
1:40:16
SPEAKER_00: Because as I can help 100 million people feel how I feel and I experience and I live in the sense of overflow, as I can help 100 million people do it, and 100 million people are giving back, that's how we heal.
1:40:31
SPEAKER_00: And as 100 million people are feeling better and they're healing more and they're giving back more, that's how humanity grows, and that's how humanity heals.
1:40:41
SPEAKER_00: And the more we grow and the more we heal, and the more we help others heal, the more we all benefit.
1:40:49
SPEAKER_00: And together, we're growing.
1:40:52
SPEAKER_00: Together, we're changing, and together we're healing humanity one smile at a time.
1:41:00
SPEAKER_00: And from around the world, welcome to we.