Latest / Relatables / HOW TO TRUST!!

Transcript

HOW TO TRUST!! · Relatables

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Coming up on relatables, the fundamentals of where trust come
• 0:03
  Speaker 1: from and how to work on them in a healthy manner,
• 0:07
  Speaker 1: and it all comes back to.
• 0:08
  Speaker 2: Just the Relatables.
• 0:21
  Speaker 3: Podcast is hosted by myself, Jake Craig aka Duddy, and
• 0:24
  Speaker 3: my partner in c Like okay.
• 0:26
  Speaker 1: Mommy the goat aka the Goat, the goat of the relatables,
• 0:34
  Speaker 1: the people like the people I have chosen that, mate.
• 0:38
  Speaker 2: I don't think I've heard any rooms about that at all.
• 0:39
  Speaker 1: Do you know how like all these companies do like
• 0:42
  Speaker 1: vote for your favorite TikToker and vote for your favorite
• 0:44
  Speaker 1: artists and then they give you like three artists.
• 0:46
  Speaker 2: Vote for who you want to be president. But then
• 0:49
  Speaker 2: you've got to that's tomorrow, by the way, is it yeah?
• 0:52
  Speaker 3: Or like well like technically today, yeah, because it's the
• 0:54
  Speaker 3: fifth today.
• 0:55
  Speaker 1: I don't know if that one works and what I
• 0:56
  Speaker 1: was about to say, but they say, they say vote
• 0:59
  Speaker 1: for the best one in Australia and then you're given
• 1:01
  Speaker 1: like three options and you're like, my favorite TikTok is
• 1:03
  Speaker 1: not even fucking.
• 1:04
  Speaker 2: Their actually a good point.
• 1:07
  Speaker 1: I've always thought that. I was like, who creates this list?
• 1:09
  Speaker 1: Is this like TikTok's favorites or do you want to
• 1:11
  Speaker 1: actually give them an insight as to how the TikTok
• 1:14
  Speaker 1: awards work.
• 1:16
  Speaker 3: Because I remember learning about this I forgot so basically,
• 1:21
  Speaker 3: like all the biggest like I think, like some of
• 1:24
  Speaker 3: the biggest TikTokers in Australia.
• 1:26
  Speaker 2: Obviously I'm invited, Yeah, but.
• 1:28
  Speaker 3: You don't really get invited as an individual unless you
• 1:31
  Speaker 3: are like next level. What happens is TikTok sends invites
• 1:37
  Speaker 3: to all the agencies that have talent, and they don't
• 1:42
  Speaker 3: really care how big the talent is because it's like
• 1:45
  Speaker 3: they're just sent to the agency. The agency has a
• 1:47
  Speaker 3: bunch of talent, and then like you know, obviously the
• 1:51
  Speaker 3: individuals that are like the biggest, they'll probably send them
• 1:54
  Speaker 3: a personal invite.
• 1:55
  Speaker 2: I have no idea, but.
• 1:56
  Speaker 3: That's how because we went last year. Yeah, and we
• 2:00
  Speaker 3: the only reason we went is because we were about
• 2:01
  Speaker 3: to sign like where we were about to start a
• 2:04
  Speaker 3: trial with with like an agency company, like a like
• 2:08
  Speaker 3: a management company. Yeah, And the only reason we got
• 2:10
  Speaker 3: invited was because they got sin by. They asked, they
• 2:13
  Speaker 3: had they had to ask TikTok like can the boys
• 2:14
  Speaker 3: come in the TikTok? I think TikTok was kind of
• 2:16
  Speaker 3: I mean, and they're like, yeah, fuck it.
• 2:17
  Speaker 1: Whatever, and then we went, yeah, well it's not based
• 2:19
  Speaker 1: on numbers, which is what it is portrayed us.
• 2:22
  Speaker 2: Yeah weird.
• 2:22
  Speaker 3: Yeah, so it's really not. If you want to go
• 2:24
  Speaker 3: vote for your favorite TikTok for the TikTok Awards. I've
• 2:27
  Speaker 3: always thought it's like a race.
• 2:28
  Speaker 1: Whoever has the best time wins, but it's more like
• 2:30
  Speaker 1: whoever ticks all the boxes wins.
• 2:32
  Speaker 3: Yeah, fair, and like also there's probably people that so
• 2:36
  Speaker 3: who wanted who wanted when we were there, that girl
• 2:38
  Speaker 3: with the kids ship, Yeah, she's massive.
• 2:42
  Speaker 2: She she's huge family.
• 2:45
  Speaker 3: Yeah, she's got the most chaotic family ever. Her husband's
• 2:48
  Speaker 3: like Indy Clinton.
• 2:49
  Speaker 2: Indy Clinton.
• 2:49
  Speaker 3: She won well to the awards we went to, and
• 2:52
  Speaker 3: like she currently obviously she's not nominated again, but if
• 2:56
  Speaker 3: she was nominated again, she probably win again.
• 2:58
  Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah, you know what I mean. Yeah, like they
• 3:00
  Speaker 2: just don't nominate them twice.
• 3:01
  Speaker 1: Maybe that's the concept behind it, is like you can't
• 3:03
  Speaker 1: do it off who's the biggest because they win every year. Yeah,
• 3:06
  Speaker 1: I'm sure there's people bigger than Yeah.
• 3:08
  Speaker 3: The reason we're saying this is because we think we
• 3:09
  Speaker 3: should win.
• 3:13
  Speaker 2: The actually isn't There isn't a podcast award.
• 3:16
  Speaker 3: And you know what that's funny about that is there's
• 3:19
  Speaker 3: a lot of podcasts that are really big on TikTok. Yeah,
• 3:22
  Speaker 3: Like there's this one called The Morning Shift who have
• 3:25
  Speaker 3: like over a million followers.
• 3:26
  Speaker 1: They were they had that less than us and they
• 3:29
  Speaker 1: just went way past us and then we got the chocolates.
• 3:32
  Speaker 1: They have one point three All these huge followings on
• 3:35
  Speaker 1: for like podcasts, they should have a they should have
• 3:38
  Speaker 1: a category the best TikTok podcast. We're getting hard done,
• 3:43
  Speaker 1: please TikTok so like because there's no category.
• 3:46
  Speaker 2: That's why we're saying, Na, we don't want to go.
• 3:47
  Speaker 2: We don't want to go.
• 3:50
  Speaker 1: And Australia is the only country that does TikTok awards. No,
• 3:52
  Speaker 1: whether country does it, I don't want to get it
• 3:54
  Speaker 1: into a day. We have the TikTok Awards, but then
• 3:56
  Speaker 1: we don't pay our talent.
• 3:58
  Speaker 2: Yeah, we don't get the creative fun.
• 3:59
  Speaker 3: Yeah, we're so all the TikTokers out there that are
• 4:01
  Speaker 3: making tiktoks yeah, like and that's their like base, their
• 4:05
  Speaker 3: revenue is.
• 4:06
  Speaker 2: They're not getting paid for it unfortunately.
• 4:08
  Speaker 3: Yeah, the game is the game made a bunch of
• 4:11
  Speaker 3: Australian TikTokers.
• 4:12
  Speaker 2: They get massive on YouTube shorts for that reason.
• 4:14
  Speaker 1: Oh yeah, yeah, We're always going to go because it's
• 4:17
  Speaker 1: so much time spent into making these videos.
• 4:20
  Speaker 2: It actually is.
• 4:20
  Speaker 1: Some people just don't realize that. But anyways, Jake, what
• 4:23
  Speaker 1: I wanted to start the episode with. On the weekend
• 4:26
  Speaker 1: I celebrated my one year anniversary.
• 4:29
  Speaker 3: Congrats man in searches three six five days around wait yeah,
• 4:34
  Speaker 3: three six five days around the sun.
• 4:37
  Speaker 1: No one time around the sign. Fucking hell yeah, you
• 4:40
  Speaker 1: stuff me up.
• 4:41
  Speaker 2: One time around the sign with the missus.
• 4:44
  Speaker 1: Yeah yeah one congrats, thanks man, Thanks man. And beautiful
• 4:48
  Speaker 1: we went on a beautiful, romantic getaway up to Newcastle,
• 4:52
  Speaker 1: but we were having some really deep and interesting conversations huh.
• 4:56
  Speaker 1: And I don't know how it came into the common,
• 5:00
  Speaker 1: but we ended up talking about a bit of a
• 5:01
  Speaker 1: dangerous subject, but it came up in a nice, healthy way,
• 5:04
  Speaker 1: like each other's exes.
• 5:06
  Speaker 2: Oh yeah.
• 5:06
  Speaker 1: And I was learning a little bit about her previous
• 5:10
  Speaker 1: relationships and how other guys acted and.
• 5:15
  Speaker 2: Loved in a way.
• 5:16
  Speaker 1: And it was quite interesting and insightful for a man
• 5:19
  Speaker 1: hearing that because as a guy. You never get to
• 5:22
  Speaker 1: really see how other dudes love and how they act
• 5:26
  Speaker 1: in relationships because it's behind closed walls. And I was
• 5:28
  Speaker 1: hearing it from like the other partner's perspective, yep, And
• 5:31
  Speaker 1: I was hearing some story, not.
• 5:32
  Speaker 2: Saying that I'm better than them, even though I am,
• 5:35
  Speaker 2: but I was hearing some wild stories and I was like,
• 5:39
  Speaker 2: this is mind boggling.
• 5:41
  Speaker 1: And she was like gassing me up because I'm obviously
• 5:42
  Speaker 1: her boyfriend. And she was that the things I do
• 5:44
  Speaker 1: are good. This isn't here to say I'm better at
• 5:46
  Speaker 1: anyone else. But I was thinking, like, this is like
• 5:48
  Speaker 1: a really weird concept, like I I sometimes forget because
• 5:52
  Speaker 1: me and Jacob, like I don't know, so exposed to
• 5:54
  Speaker 1: the environments of dating that we forget that.
• 5:56
  Speaker 2: Some dudes are. The best way to describe it is trash.
• 6:06
  Speaker 2: I was trying to think of a nicer way to
• 6:08
  Speaker 2: put it.
• 6:08
  Speaker 3: But we have a lot of you said that's so, like.
• 6:13
  Speaker 1: Yeah, and we have a lot of female listeners, but
• 6:18
  Speaker 1: this segment, if you have any male friends, you think
• 6:21
  Speaker 1: a little bit on the edge of like maybe they're
• 6:24
  Speaker 1: not the best bloke or they're doing something a bit Yeah,
• 6:27
  Speaker 1: send this to them to get an inside of like.
• 6:31
  Speaker 2: Basically the bare minimum of dating. But we've done that before,
• 6:35
  Speaker 2: but this is.
• 6:35
  Speaker 1: More in like a useful, insightful way where you can
• 6:39
  Speaker 1: actually implement it.
• 6:40
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I think, and I also think like these are easy.
• 6:45
  Speaker 1: Yeah, oh yeah, that's basically yeah. So we're calling this.
• 6:48
  Speaker 1: Hey man, he's a hack. So any guys are just
• 6:55
  Speaker 1: joined from right now. Hey man, he's a hack. Don't
• 6:58
  Speaker 1: buy a flowers because you did something wrong. Buy her
• 7:01
  Speaker 1: flowers because you want to.
• 7:03
  Speaker 2: Facts bro, do it because you want to see her smile.
• 7:06
  Speaker 1: This is the one that made me come up with
• 7:08
  Speaker 1: the idea.
• 7:09
  Speaker 2: She was telling me.
• 7:09
  Speaker 1: She's like, you buy me flowers because you want to
• 7:11
  Speaker 1: and you want to see me happy, whereas in her
• 7:14
  Speaker 1: previous race relationships. And I'm sure a lot of girls
• 7:16
  Speaker 1: listening about there. I didn't realize guys do something wrong
• 7:20
  Speaker 1: and then they go, here you go, I bought this
• 7:21
  Speaker 1: because I fucking I don't know, didn't message you all
• 7:25
  Speaker 1: night last night.
• 7:26
  Speaker 2: Ah, here you go take this flowers. And I was like,
• 7:29
  Speaker 2: people do.
• 7:30
  Speaker 1: I'm like that just sounds like a like a double
• 7:32
  Speaker 1: wend disorder.
• 7:33
  Speaker 2: It's not really doing anything good. And also it's a
• 7:37
  Speaker 2: very common thing, like it's never happened to me. I
• 7:39
  Speaker 2: don't think it's happened to me.
• 7:40
  Speaker 3: Well, you know, actually what's na No, I won't say that.
• 7:43
  Speaker 3: But what I saw a video once and this guy
• 7:44
  Speaker 3: was making the he goes, I'm making this video because
• 7:47
  Speaker 3: I was at the shops and I bought some flowers
• 7:50
  Speaker 3: for my wife and you know, because I wanted to.
• 7:55
  Speaker 3: And the cashier was a man and was like, because
• 8:00
  Speaker 3: he bought the flowers, You're like, oh in the doghouse
• 8:01
  Speaker 3: eire as if like he had done something bad by
• 8:04
  Speaker 3: So it's like it's like a really well known thing
• 8:06
  Speaker 3: that guys will just get.
• 8:08
  Speaker 2: Flowers when they're in a bit of trub.
• 8:10
  Speaker 1: That's one thing that I didn't put on my hacks
• 8:12
  Speaker 1: I've got. We both have five eaches. Hey man, here's
• 8:15
  Speaker 1: a hack sort of talk to your friends and pull
• 8:18
  Speaker 1: them up when they say something that isn't right.
• 8:20
  Speaker 3: Yeah, here's a hack when your friends are having that
• 8:23
  Speaker 3: like locker room chat.
• 8:25
  Speaker 2: Hmm, maybe just be like not that funny.
• 8:28
  Speaker 1: Yeah, Because my girlfriend was explaining like cat calling and
• 8:32
  Speaker 1: like how girls feel and how she feels when people
• 8:34
  Speaker 1: get cat called, and she says the guys she probably
• 8:36
  Speaker 1: sees as the guys think it's harmless, but they don't
• 8:38
  Speaker 1: realize the impact of making a girl feel unsafe. But
• 8:40
  Speaker 1: I was thinking about cat calls, and most of the
• 8:42
  Speaker 1: time it's trades for some reason. And it'll be like
• 8:44
  Speaker 1: a couple of traders in the car and two of
• 8:46
  Speaker 1: them are instigating the cat calling, and there's maybe one
• 8:49
  Speaker 1: guy in the back who like doesn't really agree with
• 8:51
  Speaker 1: what they're saying or like. But I know it's easier
• 8:55
  Speaker 1: said than done. But it's probably good to just take
• 8:57
  Speaker 1: account of Billy and be like, hey man, that's kind
• 8:59
  Speaker 1: of not cool.
• 9:00
  Speaker 3: I think that's something maybe that's good to preach, is
• 9:04
  Speaker 3: you know, so we need to start practicing watch what
• 9:08
  Speaker 3: we preach, because like when we're young. When we were young,
• 9:10
  Speaker 3: obviously we were scared to do it, and I don't
• 9:12
  Speaker 3: think I would be scared to do it anymore.
• 9:14
  Speaker 2: And like, whenever I think.
• 9:16
  Speaker 3: One thing like to preach, obviously, like you're not going
• 9:18
  Speaker 3: to fix any sort of problem straight away, But if
• 9:20
  Speaker 3: we could just start to talk about like two I'm
• 9:23
  Speaker 3: not saying we're like the best examples of ever, but
• 9:24
  Speaker 3: just like b two guys that are twenty four nearly
• 9:27
  Speaker 3: twenty five fucking like we're obviously through that teenage. Yes,
• 9:31
  Speaker 3: like we and be people that talk about being like
• 9:36
  Speaker 3: you know the way that like because you think about, Okay,
• 9:39
  Speaker 3: remember this, we this was not even that long ago,
• 9:43
  Speaker 3: and it's I think it's terrible, and I want to
• 9:45
  Speaker 3: like call us out and I want to call friends
• 9:47
  Speaker 3: down on it. Guys will look at a girl and
• 9:49
  Speaker 3: be like, oh, she's like girl friend material, sex material,
• 9:53
  Speaker 3: like that type of shit when you're young. Yeah, And
• 9:55
  Speaker 3: I think like even in that situation, like if you're
• 9:57
  Speaker 3: out with your friends and they're like, oh, like look
• 9:59
  Speaker 3: at her, she's like beautiful, she's a girl from A two,
• 10:01
  Speaker 3: and then someone else goes like nah, like she just
• 10:03
  Speaker 3: looks fuckable. That's when I think you should pap up
• 10:05
  Speaker 3: and be like no, whoa, whoa, let's just chill here.
• 10:07
  Speaker 2: Yeah, it's and it's not going to be that awkward.
• 10:10
  Speaker 1: And if they say to you like, oh, don't be
• 10:12
  Speaker 1: a pussy, yeah, like just hold your ground and be
• 10:15
  Speaker 1: like no, I just don't.
• 10:17
  Speaker 2: I think that's cool.
• 10:17
  Speaker 1: I think it's really important to realize that in men's
• 10:22
  Speaker 1: eyes it seem as harmless fun, but it really does
• 10:25
  Speaker 1: have a big impact. On said person and their gender
• 10:30
  Speaker 1: as a whole, because all those though those things are
• 10:32
  Speaker 1: terrible if you go back to the.
• 10:34
  Speaker 3: Person, if like, if you imagine, here's okay, my first
• 10:36
  Speaker 3: one is, here's a hey man, here's a hack. Treat
• 10:39
  Speaker 3: a girl the way that you would want your sister
• 10:41
  Speaker 3: or your mum to be treated. Yeah, like and so
• 10:45
  Speaker 3: it's so simple. Yeah, so like if your friends are
• 10:47
  Speaker 3: talking about a girl, yeah, then imagine they were talking
• 10:52
  Speaker 3: about your sister. Yeah, that girl is probably someone's sister
• 10:56
  Speaker 3: or definitely someone's daughter.
• 10:58
  Speaker 2: Think about the way you want your daughter to be treated.
• 10:59
  Speaker 3: I think that's what we need to start, just at
• 11:00
  Speaker 3: least changing our mindset on is like when you hear
• 11:03
  Speaker 3: someone that is talking like that, us included, like if
• 11:07
  Speaker 3: we hear a friend talking ab we just need to
• 11:08
  Speaker 3: be like no, like imagine if like imagine if that
• 11:10
  Speaker 3: was your daughter and someone else was talking about your
• 11:12
  Speaker 3: daughter like that, what would you do?
• 11:13
  Speaker 1: Yeah, it's a simple just like not cool man, Like,
• 11:15
  Speaker 1: think about how she would feel if you heard what
• 11:17
  Speaker 1: you just said about.
• 11:18
  Speaker 2: It, and they'll be like, oh, like you're ruined in
• 11:20
  Speaker 2: the mood. It's like, yeah, but why is this the mood?
• 11:23
  Speaker 1: This the mood like yeah, and it's being like I'm
• 11:26
  Speaker 1: one hundred percent guilty of seeing things. I've probably done
• 11:29
  Speaker 1: things in the past that I'm not proud of, but
• 11:31
  Speaker 1: it's more so seeing things and not saying anything. Feels
• 11:34
  Speaker 1: I was too scared to voice what I believe. But
• 11:36
  Speaker 1: I think now I'm getting older and more comfortable in
• 11:38
  Speaker 1: my skin, I should I should be like nah, dude,
• 11:41
  Speaker 1: Like I think it's.
• 11:42
  Speaker 2: Yeah, less scared of the awkward situations.
• 11:45
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah, and realizing like I'm being true to
• 11:47
  Speaker 1: myself and like what I believe in is really important
• 11:51
  Speaker 1: for the outcome of like what I think the world
• 11:53
  Speaker 1: should be like, rather than just being like, nah, I don't.
• 11:55
  Speaker 2: Want to make this awkward.
• 11:56
  Speaker 3: Yeah, Like do you think it's crazy to think, like,
• 11:59
  Speaker 3: you know, you could hear a friend and back in
• 12:00
  Speaker 3: the day when you were younger, like talk about a girl,
• 12:02
  Speaker 3: and then you might just be like you let it
• 12:05
  Speaker 3: brush it off, but like just imagine if they were
• 12:07
  Speaker 3: talking about your girlfriend.
• 12:08
  Speaker 2: Yeah, Like, I don't know.
• 12:09
  Speaker 3: I think I think just like changing the perspective, like
• 12:11
  Speaker 3: imagine if this was someone you knew on a deep level.
• 12:13
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm even thinking, like we bring it back all
• 12:15
  Speaker 1: the time like this, it's obviously something hormone of going
• 12:18
  Speaker 1: on in your brain. But growing up as like a
• 12:19
  Speaker 1: teenage boy, like there's no education on not objectifying women.
• 12:27
  Speaker 3: Facts, bro, And why do fucking teenagers have access to pawn?
• 12:31
  Speaker 2: Yeah, you can go on there and they say are
• 12:32
  Speaker 2: you eighteen? All you have to do is click yes,
• 12:34
  Speaker 2: and it believes you're like yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 12:36
  Speaker 1: We're like there's so many hormonal changes going in a
• 12:39
  Speaker 1: guy's body and it doesn't help that, like we're Heap's horny,
• 12:42
  Speaker 1: and then we just see him as like.
• 12:43
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, she's just fucking sex material.
• 12:45
  Speaker 3: Yeah, and the night prior you were looking at fucking
• 12:48
  Speaker 3: porn because your friends told you they started watching ports.
• 12:50
  Speaker 2: You're like, well, I'm gonna do it now. Yeah, Like it's.
• 12:52
  Speaker 1: Weird, unhealthy and like, I don't know. Someone messaged us
• 12:57
  Speaker 1: and said that Victoria is trying to educate better on
• 13:00
  Speaker 1: sexual education and gender equalities, and yeah, that's right, stepping
• 13:05
  Speaker 1: in the right way. But New South Wales Queensland's all
• 13:07
  Speaker 1: really far behind and we're just learning about fucking power
• 13:09
  Speaker 1: dagorous theorem.
• 13:10
  Speaker 2: Shout out to Victoria.
• 13:11
  Speaker 3: Someone said to the episode, like, I'm from I'm a
• 13:14
  Speaker 3: teacher from Victoria, and I will let you know that
• 13:16
  Speaker 3: in sexual health education they've changed it to like shit,
• 13:20
  Speaker 3: we could go find it. But like, but Victoria is
• 13:22
  Speaker 3: talking about yeah, they're teaching young men.
• 13:25
  Speaker 1: It's changing the mindset because I'm thinking back of when
• 13:28
  Speaker 1: I was in school. She just like, that's just what
• 13:29
  Speaker 1: boys do. But that's not right. No, no, it shouldn't
• 13:32
  Speaker 1: be okay, So hey man, here's a hack. Plan a
• 13:35
  Speaker 1: date from start to finish, not figure it out on day.
• 13:39
  Speaker 2: Couldn't agree more. Fuck, I could not agree more.
• 13:42
  Speaker 1: These are, like you said, so simple, so simple, so effective.
• 13:46
  Speaker 1: I think planning a date I take you ten minutes.
• 13:49
  Speaker 2: It's so enjoying, honestly, honestly, it's so enjoyable.
• 13:51
  Speaker 1: Like now you go on TikTok, you stroll and fucking
• 13:53
  Speaker 1: TikTok looking at good places that you will even enjoyed
• 13:56
  Speaker 1: to eat, and then you go book it.
• 13:58
  Speaker 3: Next time you're taking a ship instead of strong TikTok,
• 14:01
  Speaker 3: just watching videos, squat chiktok looking for restaurants.
• 14:04
  Speaker 2: That's making.
• 14:06
  Speaker 1: So much title a toilet exactly, yeah, honestly, And then
• 14:09
  Speaker 1: think about a game I could like and go buy
• 14:11
  Speaker 1: an Uno deck, go buy a fucking little board game.
• 14:14
  Speaker 2: Go buying out four, Go do something. Just think outside
• 14:17
  Speaker 2: the box a little bit, use your brain. Hey, man,
• 14:21
  Speaker 2: here's a hack.
• 14:23
  Speaker 3: Actually give a shit about important dates like anniversaries, birthdays,
• 14:26
  Speaker 3: and Christmas. Valentine's Day is pretty fucking important to a girl.
• 14:29
  Speaker 2: Anniversary.
• 14:30
  Speaker 1: Oh the other day, I'm going to cool one of
• 14:32
  Speaker 1: our friends out, our audio audio fucking production technician man
• 14:36
  Speaker 1: on Patreon. We asked him about it. He's a good
• 14:39
  Speaker 1: example where we should have caught him out more. We
• 14:40
  Speaker 1: sort of did. Semi did, Yeah, we semi did. We
• 14:43
  Speaker 1: asked him about his anniversary, and we both said ours.
• 14:45
  Speaker 1: We're not trying to say that we're better than anyone else.
• 14:46
  Speaker 1: But he's like, I don't know, I'm not gonna what
• 14:48
  Speaker 1: do you say. I'm not gonna incriminate myself.
• 14:52
  Speaker 3: Yeah, he said the month and we were like, yeah,
• 14:54
  Speaker 3: but what day? Yeah, and I'm going to like you
• 14:57
  Speaker 3: kind of just did. Man, that was incrimination.
• 14:59
  Speaker 1: We should have went a little bit more, mate. You
• 15:01
  Speaker 1: should know that's a very important day. It's like the
• 15:03
  Speaker 1: day you committed to this person. Yeah, Like those days
• 15:06
  Speaker 1: are important. I don't know why, guys, I love them. Yeah, yeah,
• 15:11
  Speaker 1: they're sounding like i'm'm be the other half of this relationship.
• 15:13
  Speaker 2: I would know you want to know these.
• 15:19
  Speaker 1: Hey man, here's a hack. Relationships are work. Don't just
• 15:23
  Speaker 1: stop when you've bagged the girl.
• 15:25
  Speaker 2: Oh yeah.
• 15:28
  Speaker 1: A lot of guys will act like a lot more
• 15:30
  Speaker 1: than they are well, like.
• 15:33
  Speaker 2: During the chase. Yeah, but then yeah, once they've really as.
• 15:36
  Speaker 1: Soon as I've gone it, well, I've got her now,
• 15:37
  Speaker 1: I don't need a secured Yeah.
• 15:40
  Speaker 2: I could have roommate.
• 15:41
  Speaker 1: What you mean, That's that's what relationships are about.
• 15:47
  Speaker 2: Hey man, here's a hack. Actually ask her to be
• 15:50
  Speaker 2: your girlfriend. Yeah, not just like yeah, you're and me, We're.
• 15:55
  Speaker 3: You're going to be like, you're gonna be like, oh
• 15:57
  Speaker 3: so like I've planned the the day that we're getting married.
• 16:01
  Speaker 2: She's like, we're gonna ask me first? What are you
• 16:04
  Speaker 2: gonna ask me first? I think so many dudes need
• 16:06
  Speaker 2: to hear that.
• 16:07
  Speaker 1: Those words. We've said it before. Will you beat my girlfriend?
• 16:11
  Speaker 2: Five word? Yeah?
• 16:13
  Speaker 3: I don't think it's like you know, I remember the
• 16:15
  Speaker 3: show synopsis I did about nobody wants to have you
• 16:19
  Speaker 3: finished it yet?
• 16:20
  Speaker 2: Did you start it? I started in the Okay, in
• 16:32
  Speaker 2: that show That's fair. In that show they they two
• 16:40
  Speaker 2: like older, like fully grown adults.
• 16:42
  Speaker 3: Yeah, and you'd think that they'd be the type to
• 16:45
  Speaker 3: be like, you know, we're too mature to be like
• 16:47
  Speaker 3: asking each other to be boyfriend and girlfriend whatever. But
• 16:49
  Speaker 3: the guy, I'm going to spoil one thing for you,
• 16:52
  Speaker 3: hopefully watch it. The guy at one point does go.
• 16:56
  Speaker 2: Will you please be my girlfriend?
• 16:58
  Speaker 3: It was the best, and I was just like, oh,
• 16:59
  Speaker 3: it's a good like they're sending out a good message here.
• 17:01
  Speaker 2: Yeah, honestly it is.
• 17:03
  Speaker 1: Okay, Hey man, here's a hack message her when you're out,
• 17:07
  Speaker 1: letting her know your movements because she.
• 17:09
  Speaker 2: Loves you, because you love her. Yeah, like what I
• 17:14
  Speaker 2: never understood, Like, oh, sorry, I wasn't on my phone.
• 17:16
  Speaker 2: I like going on my phone while I'm out. Yeah,
• 17:18
  Speaker 2: to live in the moment, like it.
• 17:20
  Speaker 1: Takes fucking fifteen seconds, not even just be like, hey,
• 17:23
  Speaker 1: we're going to this bar now, Hey we're going to
• 17:26
  Speaker 1: Josh's house.
• 17:27
  Speaker 3: Yeah, leaving bar Josh's house.
• 17:29
  Speaker 1: That's all that's all they want, Yeah, I know, just
• 17:32
  Speaker 1: to know what's going on.
• 17:34
  Speaker 3: Ah, hey man, here's a hack. Try and fix the
• 17:38
  Speaker 3: problems instead of cheating your way out of it.
• 17:41
  Speaker 2: Double down. Yeah, the fucking hell I got one more.
• 17:44
  Speaker 2: I got one more to amen, here's a hack. Remember
• 17:47
  Speaker 2: she has feelings? Yeah, Oh, that one's deep. I know.
• 17:52
  Speaker 1: I don't understand how some people do their actions.
• 17:56
  Speaker 2: They think the person's not real or something. They don't
• 17:58
  Speaker 2: have emotions or they and they're not gonna get cold. Yeah,
• 18:04
  Speaker 2: some people in the world. My last one, Hey, man,
• 18:07
  Speaker 2: he's a hack.
• 18:08
  Speaker 1: Make her feel like the most important girl in the world,
• 18:11
  Speaker 1: because that's what she is to you, right.
• 18:14
  Speaker 2: Couldn't agree more.
• 18:16
  Speaker 1: As Rihanna said, I want you to make me feel
• 18:19
  Speaker 1: like I'm the only girl in the world, like I'm
• 18:23
  Speaker 1: the only one honestly, Just make it feel special, Like
• 18:29
  Speaker 1: what's the part of being in a relationship if you don't.
• 18:31
  Speaker 3: I know, it's so fucking we got I mean I
• 18:35
  Speaker 3: didn't look I thin't talking about it like.
• 18:37
  Speaker 2: We talked about it a lot, which is good.
• 18:38
  Speaker 3: I think all we have to do is keep talking
• 18:39
  Speaker 3: about it and eventually we'll get to more male listeners.
• 18:42
  Speaker 1: Yeah, send this to a man, like I think we
• 18:44
  Speaker 1: got like one more percent. The other day was prettypy
• 18:46
  Speaker 1: about I think we're eighty nine percent female.
• 18:49
  Speaker 2: We got that one percent more.
• 18:50
  Speaker 1: Send it out the message go or even just like
• 18:54
  Speaker 1: females listening, obviously we love you more, but like, I
• 18:58
  Speaker 1: don't know, if you have a younger brother, yeah you
• 19:00
  Speaker 1: don't have to tell them to listen to the pod.
• 19:01
  Speaker 3: But yeah, just like I don't know if you've never
• 19:03
  Speaker 3: heard Yeah, I don't know. I'm sure you tell you respectful.
• 19:07
  Speaker 1: Like I think we do have some messages from some
• 19:08
  Speaker 1: boys saying like, oh, it's so insightful and like good
• 19:11
  Speaker 1: to hear you guys talking about girls like my friends
• 19:13
  Speaker 1: don't do that and stuff like that, like they don't
• 19:15
  Speaker 1: have I don't know, the exposure or a big brother,
• 19:17
  Speaker 1: a good role model in their life to like they're
• 19:19
  Speaker 1: not perfect by any means. We say somethings wrong, but
• 19:21
  Speaker 1: like we try our best to make i don't know,
• 19:25
  Speaker 1: dating better an equal.
• 19:27
  Speaker 2: Nice Yeah, a nice world. We were.
• 19:29
  Speaker 1: Fuck yeah, I was gonna keep talking. I was gonna
• 19:31
  Speaker 1: say I was looking at confession sessions the other day. Yeah,
• 19:34
  Speaker 1: we're organizing it, and there were so many like bad
• 19:37
  Speaker 1: dates of all these dudes doing these trash and I
• 19:39
  Speaker 1: was like, fuck, I'm not exposed to this, it's so bad.
• 19:42
  Speaker 3: Well, yeah, I've never really been in just like a
• 19:43
  Speaker 3: bad date. Apart from thinking like yeah, I just didn't go.
• 19:45
  Speaker 2: Well we did because we go.
• 19:46
  Speaker 1: On them with girls and most of the time we're
• 19:49
  Speaker 1: normal and then the girls are normal than but for
• 19:51
  Speaker 1: the girls, like ninety percent of the dudes are just
• 19:53
  Speaker 1: like rocking up drunk. They're rocking up, smelling, they're rocking
• 19:56
  Speaker 1: imagine rocking up drunk.
• 19:57
  Speaker 2: And I was like, well, I was like, I just
• 19:59
  Speaker 2: just don't care. I actually was on a date once.
• 20:02
  Speaker 3: Okay, I haven't been on a million dates, like I
• 20:05
  Speaker 3: just like, but I was on a date once where
• 20:07
  Speaker 3: it was just like, you know, just.
• 20:09
  Speaker 2: Went out for dinner at a restaurant.
• 20:11
  Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, and the girls on a date with actually
• 20:15
  Speaker 3: told me she said like, oh, this is like it
• 20:18
  Speaker 3: was actually I don't even think.
• 20:19
  Speaker 2: We really labeled as that labeled it as a date.
• 20:22
  Speaker 3: Probably, I mean like but it also long story, but
• 20:27
  Speaker 3: basically because it wasn't labeled as a date, she said,
• 20:30
  Speaker 3: she was like, this is better than some of the
• 20:33
  Speaker 3: dates I've been on that are actual dates.
• 20:36
  Speaker 2: And I was like, what do you mean?
• 20:37
  Speaker 3: She goes one time, I want on a date with
• 20:38
  Speaker 3: a guy and it was just like he told me
• 20:42
  Speaker 3: to meet him here and he was just with his
• 20:44
  Speaker 3: mates playing soccer. In the park and they got drunk
• 20:47
  Speaker 3: and then we went out and just got.
• 20:49
  Speaker 1: Some Every girl has a story of a bad date,
• 20:52
  Speaker 1: but every guy doesn't, because girls like get it to date.
• 20:57
  Speaker 2: Weird.
• 20:58
  Speaker 3: Yeah, every girl has a story about a bad date,
• 20:59
  Speaker 3: but guys that's such a good point.
• 21:01
  Speaker 1: Because girls like they know it to date and they
• 21:03
  Speaker 1: put in like at least the minimal amount of effort.
• 21:05
  Speaker 2: Yeah, the date.
• 21:07
  Speaker 3: Yeah, anyway, let's move on, all right, Oddie, what I
• 21:16
  Speaker 3: want to bring up next is now, I think over
• 21:20
  Speaker 3: the years we.
• 21:22
  Speaker 2: Can say years now two years two.
• 21:24
  Speaker 1: Yeah, over the years of the podcast, we are experienced.
• 21:28
  Speaker 1: I think it has been portrayed that, and it's not
• 21:34
  Speaker 1: super wrong, but I think it's been portrayed that, Oddie,
• 21:36
  Speaker 1: you are more of a thinker.
• 21:39
  Speaker 2: And I am more of a non thinker. Is that
• 21:43
  Speaker 2: the word you're labeling as non figure? Now? Like, I
• 21:46
  Speaker 2: don't get it. I don't get a racing mind often, No,
• 21:49
  Speaker 2: But today, actually.
• 21:50
  Speaker 3: Something kind of weird happened to me and I was like,
• 21:53
  Speaker 3: and I was like, you know what, this Actually this.
• 21:55
  Speaker 2: Happens a bit. Maybe I do get a bit of
• 21:56
  Speaker 2: a racing mind. Okay, what are you thinking about?
• 21:59
  Speaker 1: So I would like you to send you through the
• 22:01
  Speaker 1: series of events that was going through my mind. So
• 22:04
  Speaker 1: I was on my way to the gym and I
• 22:07
  Speaker 1: was pulling out of my driveway.
• 22:09
  Speaker 2: And across the road there was a lady walking a
• 22:11
  Speaker 2: little small blue staffy hugest dogs ever and this blue
• 22:16
  Speaker 2: staff he reminded me of a blue staff. You have
• 22:17
  Speaker 2: a mate of mine from school named Kle.
• 22:20
  Speaker 3: Yep, Okay you so, And I was like, oh, yeah,
• 22:22
  Speaker 3: I remember blue staff he named Kay And then like,
• 22:25
  Speaker 3: you know Kale And I was like, oh, I haven't
• 22:26
  Speaker 3: seen Kale for a while.
• 22:27
  Speaker 2: And then I was like, oh, you know what that
• 22:29
  Speaker 2: reminds me of.
• 22:29
  Speaker 3: It was one time when I was young and one
• 22:32
  Speaker 3: of the first times, like I was out and we
• 22:35
  Speaker 3: were and I was like doing something naughty. I was
• 22:38
  Speaker 3: smoking weed, right, and Kle was coming that night. But
• 22:41
  Speaker 3: my stepmom's name is Kate.
• 22:43
  Speaker 1: And I got a text from Kle saying tell the boys,
• 22:45
  Speaker 1: I'm on the way. But I thought it was Kate
• 22:47
  Speaker 1: that texted me tell the boys, I'm on the way.
• 22:48
  Speaker 2: And I remember freaking the fuck out.
• 22:50
  Speaker 3: And so I'm just driving the gym like thinking about
• 22:52
  Speaker 3: all this, right, and I was like, and I remember
• 22:54
  Speaker 3: freaking the fuck out. But then I double checked my phone.
• 22:56
  Speaker 2: I was about to go tell the boys like my
• 22:58
  Speaker 2: mom's on the way. And then I go out and I.
• 23:00
  Speaker 3: Was like, check my phone, and I.
• 23:01
  Speaker 2: Was like, oh, it was Kale.
• 23:04
  Speaker 3: And I remember just being like the most relief I've
• 23:06
  Speaker 3: ever felt in my life that I didn't get caught.
• 23:08
  Speaker 2: But then.
• 23:13
  Speaker 3: And then that same night, another friend's mum that was
• 23:17
  Speaker 3: close with my step mom, Yeah, she actually came and
• 23:21
  Speaker 3: he wasn't answering his phone. She has dropping off some clothes,
• 23:24
  Speaker 3: so she came to the door and she saw everyone
• 23:26
  Speaker 3: in there. Obviously put two and two together. He goes
• 23:28
  Speaker 3: out and he's like, mom, don't come to the door.
• 23:30
  Speaker 3: And then she's she's like, while your eyes and he's like,
• 23:32
  Speaker 3: we went for a walk and it was windy.
• 23:36
  Speaker 2: Could cover it up.
• 23:37
  Speaker 3: And so then then he thinks he covered it up
• 23:40
  Speaker 3: again or relieved together like she.
• 23:42
  Speaker 2: Saw me there, she knows there, she knew what was happening.
• 23:44
  Speaker 3: And then and then like I think the next like
• 23:47
  Speaker 3: two days later, like the Monday at school, he goes, oh, yeah,
• 23:52
  Speaker 3: my mom, she like she knows what we were doing,
• 23:56
  Speaker 3: and she told me that she told you.
• 23:57
  Speaker 2: Almost I was like, shit, did you say?
• 24:00
  Speaker 3: It just gets It's like fuck it up. And so
• 24:03
  Speaker 3: that afternoon I went home and like, Kate actually wasn't
• 24:07
  Speaker 3: mad at me. Usually I would I know when she's mad,
• 24:09
  Speaker 3: like if she's about to like ring me for something,
• 24:11
  Speaker 3: she'd be waiting for daddy get home.
• 24:12
  Speaker 2: But she wouldn't talk to me that I just mad
• 24:14
  Speaker 2: at me.
• 24:14
  Speaker 3: But she wasn't actually mad at me. And I do
• 24:16
  Speaker 3: remember being like, okay, well, there's my chance to own up.
• 24:18
  Speaker 3: So I owned up to Kate about it. And then
• 24:19
  Speaker 3: she goes, actually, such and such his mum did actually
• 24:22
  Speaker 3: tell me, but I didn't tell her.
• 24:23
  Speaker 2: I knew that, so she thinks I was just don'ting
• 24:25
  Speaker 2: up to it right. And then and then that afternoon, my.
• 24:30
  Speaker 1: Dad gets home and the first thing he says to
• 24:32
  Speaker 1: me is, so, what's this year about smoking dope?
• 24:33
  Speaker 3: And I was like what? And so I just had
• 24:36
  Speaker 3: to confess, and then he goes, Okay, well it looks
• 24:38
  Speaker 3: like we won't be hanging out with that friend anymore.
• 24:40
  Speaker 2: And so then I remember all from looking at a dog.
• 24:43
  Speaker 2: I remember all this stuff. Right.
• 24:44
  Speaker 3: It takes me to this mad like crazy like moment
• 24:47
  Speaker 3: in my past when I was young, and so their
• 24:50
  Speaker 3: their like resolution to this problem was like, well, look,
• 24:53
  Speaker 3: you know, you're not going to be hanging out with
• 24:54
  Speaker 3: that friend anymore, and.
• 24:55
  Speaker 2: Like you're not gonna you're not led Statu's house. Yeah,
• 24:58
  Speaker 2: And so I said cool.
• 25:00
  Speaker 3: But what that led to was me just saying I
• 25:02
  Speaker 3: was staying at someone else's house and then staying at
• 25:05
  Speaker 3: his house.
• 25:05
  Speaker 2: Yeah. And so I was like, I.
• 25:08
  Speaker 3: Wonder if they handled that in the right way, because
• 25:11
  Speaker 3: what else it did was I also, then, let's say
• 25:15
  Speaker 3: I was doing something bad. If something bad were to happen,
• 25:18
  Speaker 3: I would have been too scared to call them, Yes,
• 25:21
  Speaker 3: And now I know now that I definitely could have,
• 25:25
  Speaker 3: and maybe they would have been mad, but they would
• 25:26
  Speaker 3: prefer to me to be safe. So what I was
• 25:29
  Speaker 3: thinking was, I think that a good conversation to have
• 25:34
  Speaker 3: with our girlfriends, right, because we aren't we're the type
• 25:38
  Speaker 3: to be like we're with a girl because like.
• 25:40
  Speaker 2: We think we could see a future with them.
• 25:42
  Speaker 3: So I think a conversation we should have with our
• 25:43
  Speaker 3: girlfriends is Okay, let's say we have a son or
• 25:46
  Speaker 3: a daughter and they're fifteen sixteen, and we find out
• 25:48
  Speaker 3: they smoked weed.
• 25:50
  Speaker 2: How would you like to handle the situation because I
• 25:53
  Speaker 2: know how I would like to handle it.
• 25:54
  Speaker 3: So so what I want to know is, do you
• 25:56
  Speaker 3: think this is a good conversation we should have with
• 25:58
  Speaker 3: our girlfriends.
• 25:59
  Speaker 2: I'm once I've had with you.
• 26:00
  Speaker 1: Oh no, I didn't do it with weed, but we
• 26:02
  Speaker 1: did it. I was talking about deep conversations we had.
• 26:04
  Speaker 1: We're talking about like raising kids and stuff, and it
• 26:07
  Speaker 1: came up to our upbringings, how our parents brought us up,
• 26:09
  Speaker 1: and we said, how would react if our children told
• 26:12
  Speaker 1: us they just got drunk, which is the same concept,
• 26:15
  Speaker 1: which he's maybe a little bit different, but oh yeah, yeah,
• 26:17
  Speaker 1: yeah yeah, And that was how we would react. And like,
• 26:20
  Speaker 1: I know a lot of parents taking into alcohol, like
• 26:23
  Speaker 1: don't want the kids to touch our cocohol till they eighteen,
• 26:24
  Speaker 1: And what ends up happening is they go sneak out
• 26:26
  Speaker 1: from fifteen to eighteen exactly. And I had I said
• 26:30
  Speaker 1: to my girlfriend that I'm happy for them to drink
• 26:34
  Speaker 1: at sixteen. I'll buy it for them. I'll buy them
• 26:36
  Speaker 1: a fucking six pack or something. And I want to
• 26:39
  Speaker 1: make sure that they know they can ring me no
• 26:40
  Speaker 1: matter what, which I sort of had a similar thing.
• 26:42
  Speaker 2: I probably could have ran my parents. They probably wouldn't
• 26:44
  Speaker 2: have picked up.
• 26:45
  Speaker 1: Yeah, no, because my parents would have been asleep because
• 26:47
  Speaker 1: I also didn't tell them where I was going, and
• 26:49
  Speaker 1: they didn't know what I was doing exactly. Yeah, it's
• 26:51
  Speaker 1: definitely a good conversation to have, and like also, I
• 26:55
  Speaker 1: think it also is really good understanding where your partner
• 26:59
  Speaker 1: and what she dealt with going kind of a stand.
• 27:01
  Speaker 3: So, yeah, where it went for me was like I
• 27:04
  Speaker 3: was the same, Like I would just you know, all
• 27:07
  Speaker 3: my friends would be going out and we would be
• 27:10
  Speaker 3: a little underage, Like we're not promoting that by any means.
• 27:12
  Speaker 3: I think it's bad, but you know, you'd want to go,
• 27:14
  Speaker 3: so you would lie to your parents. And there's every
• 27:16
  Speaker 3: chance in the world that they probably knew I was lying. Like,
• 27:19
  Speaker 3: thinking about it now, it's maybe they did.
• 27:21
  Speaker 1: Maybe they did, Like judge parroting too, because like we
• 27:23
  Speaker 1: say all these things, hey, I'm going to be a
• 27:24
  Speaker 1: healthy parent, and then like your kids are just gonna
• 27:26
  Speaker 1: lie to you anyway, you can't do anything about it.
• 27:27
  Speaker 3: And like by no means my parents strict, Yeah, and
• 27:30
  Speaker 3: I think they're the best parents ever. But it just
• 27:33
  Speaker 3: made me think and I was like, so what it
• 27:35
  Speaker 3: got me thinking was the way I would like to
• 27:37
  Speaker 3: deal with it, and I am actually because I thought
• 27:39
  Speaker 3: of it earlier, I haven't spoken to best since I
• 27:40
  Speaker 3: thought of this, but I'm actually really, I really am
• 27:42
  Speaker 3: keen to talk to her about it.
• 27:43
  Speaker 1: The way I would like to deal with it is
• 27:45
  Speaker 1: if I found out my kid got high or drunk,
• 27:48
  Speaker 1: I would just like to sit them down and be like,
• 27:51
  Speaker 1: first of all, if they were if they were keeping
• 27:52
  Speaker 1: it from me, I would just be like, look, I
• 27:53
  Speaker 1: know you know.
• 27:55
  Speaker 2: And the route I want.
• 27:56
  Speaker 3: To go is like maybe explain to them that the
• 28:00
  Speaker 3: reason why I don't drink and smoke, and then just
• 28:05
  Speaker 3: say to them like, look, obviously we don't want you
• 28:08
  Speaker 3: to be doing this like this is we want you
• 28:10
  Speaker 3: to be healthy and we want you to have a
• 28:13
  Speaker 3: childhood where you don't drink, I smoke, but we understand
• 28:17
  Speaker 3: that if it's if it's something you really want to do,
• 28:19
  Speaker 3: humans are pretty fucking clever and persistent and you're gonna
• 28:22
  Speaker 3: find a way whether we like it or not. So
• 28:24
  Speaker 3: all I want you to know is I don't want
• 28:26
  Speaker 3: you to do it, but if you're gonna do it
• 28:29
  Speaker 3: and something goes wrong, please call me. That's all I
• 28:33
  Speaker 3: think that's how I want to handle it. I don't
• 28:35
  Speaker 3: know if I can bring myself to buy my kid
• 28:37
  Speaker 3: alcohol underage, But I don't judge your decision of doing
• 28:39
  Speaker 3: that because the heeps of parents did it.
• 28:41
  Speaker 2: I know parents did it.
• 28:42
  Speaker 1: I would argue that you saying that you don't want
• 28:47
  Speaker 1: your kid to do it will make your kid want
• 28:49
  Speaker 1: to do it more.
• 28:50
  Speaker 2: And for you to figure.
• 28:52
  Speaker 1: Out that you didn't like drinking, you had to do it. Yeah,
• 28:55
  Speaker 1: that's why you figured it out. Like it's all good
• 28:57
  Speaker 1: and well to tell someone that, like it's like we've
• 29:00
  Speaker 1: got past addiction, Like this is what I call It's like, yeah,
• 29:03
  Speaker 1: fucking sick dad, Like I just want to have phone
• 29:05
  Speaker 1: with my friends. That's what i'd be, like, I'm just
• 29:06
  Speaker 1: gonna drink. Then it's a good point. There's so many
• 29:09
  Speaker 1: different ways in avenues to do it, and I'm more on
• 29:11
  Speaker 1: the approach of like he's my son, I've brought him
• 29:13
  Speaker 1: up or my daughter. I've brought them up in a
• 29:15
  Speaker 1: way that I think is healthy enough for them to
• 29:16
  Speaker 1: figure out their own path. I want them to try
• 29:19
  Speaker 1: it in a healthy manner rather than like, I don't know,
• 29:22
  Speaker 1: drink some shitty alcohol that they found on the side
• 29:24
  Speaker 1: of the road and got some fucking older boy to
• 29:26
  Speaker 1: buy it from him, or some shit true from a
• 29:28
  Speaker 1: reliable source, and then they figure out from the self
• 29:30
  Speaker 1: that they don't like it, and then it's their own journey.
• 29:33
  Speaker 1: Like there's only so much you can do as a
• 29:35
  Speaker 1: peran and it's like guiding them rather than telling them
• 29:37
  Speaker 1: what you think.
• 29:38
  Speaker 2: They should do.
• 29:39
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 29:40
  Speaker 2: Fuck, but I see what I can see why you
• 29:41
  Speaker 2: would do yours too.
• 29:42
  Speaker 3: I reckon, maybe maybe this could be a good Okay, ready,
• 29:46
  Speaker 3: so your kid goes out, gets drunk, and then you
• 29:51
  Speaker 3: find out, you have that conversation with him and you go, okay, look,
• 29:54
  Speaker 3: I know you're gonna do it.
• 29:56
  Speaker 2: Let me show you how to do it right.
• 29:57
  Speaker 1: I thought when before you're talking about weed, I thought
• 30:00
  Speaker 1: you were going to be like, all right, I'll show
• 30:01
  Speaker 1: you how to roll the fucking Yeah.
• 30:04
  Speaker 2: Let me show you how to do it right.
• 30:05
  Speaker 3: And just because like this is terrible to promote, like
• 30:08
  Speaker 3: I'm by no means I'm telling anyone to do this,
• 30:10
  Speaker 3: but like you can you ever have one of the
• 30:13
  Speaker 3: we've had the hangovers before where you have the hangover
• 30:15
  Speaker 3: and you're just like like, I'm not doing that again.
• 30:19
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, it's like you've.
• 30:20
  Speaker 3: Got to give him one of them.
• 30:24
  Speaker 2: Honestly, at eight, like it's hard to get one of them.
• 30:27
  Speaker 2: It actually is. You bounce back, yeah, so quick. You
• 30:30
  Speaker 2: can drink anything like it.
• 30:31
  Speaker 1: When you start hitting twenty twenty one, you're like, fuck, man,
• 30:34
  Speaker 1: I'm getting older.
• 30:35
  Speaker 3: Shit. I went to when I was away with family
• 30:39
  Speaker 3: a couple weeks ago, my uncle and his kid they
• 30:41
  Speaker 3: were drinking together, Like his kid's eighteen, and he's older,
• 30:44
  Speaker 3: like obviously in his forties.
• 30:45
  Speaker 2: Or something, and they were drinking the same amount.
• 30:49
  Speaker 3: Yeah, And what's crazy is my uncle got wasted and
• 30:53
  Speaker 3: the kid did and he could barely walk. He had
• 30:56
  Speaker 3: to be like carried to the car, like helped into
• 30:58
  Speaker 3: the car. He was wasted, didn't really remember any thing.
• 31:00
  Speaker 3: But with his son, he just like was holding a
• 31:04
  Speaker 3: conversation with people when you drank the same amount, apparently
• 31:06
  Speaker 3: you drink holding conversation. He felt a little bit dusty
• 31:09
  Speaker 3: the next day, but it was just I was just like,
• 31:11
  Speaker 3: how the fuck are you holding? Like the experience your
• 31:14
  Speaker 3: dad have on you, but he clearly is just his
• 31:16
  Speaker 3: age is getting to him.
• 31:17
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah, And it's funny, like the different relationships
• 31:20
  Speaker 1: that I don't know. Different families have with alcohol too,
• 31:22
  Speaker 1: like you see it on like Christmas and everything, like
• 31:24
  Speaker 1: oh you want to be here, like we're socializing, Like no,
• 31:27
  Speaker 1: I'm not a cocaine And it's always that awkward now
• 31:31
  Speaker 1: that I'm turning, like now you're older and like you
• 31:33
  Speaker 1: like it's assumed that you drink beer. It's just like
• 31:36
  Speaker 1: whenever you go to a social setting with like older people,
• 31:38
  Speaker 1: like you want to be And I was like, nah,
• 31:40
  Speaker 1: yeah I coke me just coke zero preferred place.
• 31:43
  Speaker 2: Yeah, that's so funny.
• 31:45
  Speaker 3: Sometimes I'll be like, I gotta get roundy tonight full
• 31:47
  Speaker 3: sugar coke.
• 31:49
  Speaker 2: Sugar coke for me.
• 31:50
  Speaker 1: It's funny thinking about I actually enjoy thinking about like
• 31:53
  Speaker 1: how old be as a parent. I was even picturing
• 31:55
  Speaker 1: like you sitting down with a little kid, and I
• 31:56
  Speaker 1: was thinking.
• 31:57
  Speaker 2: I was thinking, like this is what I was.
• 31:59
  Speaker 3: This is why I brought it up, because Okay, my
• 32:02
  Speaker 3: whole start of this was like I'm not a deep thinker,
• 32:04
  Speaker 3: but clearly I am a little bit because I went
• 32:06
  Speaker 3: through this whole because Okay, what else I was doing
• 32:08
  Speaker 3: while driving at the gym.
• 32:09
  Speaker 2: Was I went through this whole like rigmarole in my
• 32:13
  Speaker 2: brain of what I would be saying to my kid.
• 32:16
  Speaker 3: And then also I was like, I don't know why
• 32:19
  Speaker 3: I was thinking of this. I was saying it in
• 32:22
  Speaker 3: my head to my kid. Don't know what my kid
• 32:25
  Speaker 3: looks like. But then I was also like, Okay, so
• 32:28
  Speaker 3: that's one way I could do it. What about if
• 32:30
  Speaker 3: I was saying this. What if I was trying to
• 32:32
  Speaker 3: teach my kid a lesson but him and his mum
• 32:33
  Speaker 3: were divorced, And then I'm like, what would I be
• 32:36
  Speaker 3: saying to his stepmom? Like looks like I've got to
• 32:38
  Speaker 3: call his mom? And I was like, And then it's
• 32:40
  Speaker 3: got me thinking of like what's the dynamic. Like when
• 32:44
  Speaker 3: let's say I'm single and I meet a girl and
• 32:48
  Speaker 3: she's got a kid, Okay, I become the kid's stepdad.
• 32:50
  Speaker 2: Like, what's what's the dynamic?
• 32:54
  Speaker 3: Like when she kind of has to be in touch
• 32:57
  Speaker 3: with this guy and it's like you're fully going to
• 32:59
  Speaker 3: understand that, but like does she need to?
• 33:02
  Speaker 2: Is it?
• 33:03
  Speaker 3: Is it disrespectful if she just contacts this guy?
• 33:05
  Speaker 2: Like talking about I think I'm a deep thinker. If
• 33:10
  Speaker 2: you can let you can be whatever you want to be.
• 33:12
  Speaker 1: Man, I think I'm a deep thinker can be whatever
• 33:14
  Speaker 1: you want to be, honestly.
• 33:15
  Speaker 2: And I'm and I do this often.
• 33:17
  Speaker 1: I inspiral, keep it going, try and spire in like
• 33:20
  Speaker 1: a good direction.
• 33:21
  Speaker 2: Like at the start of that story, I was like,
• 33:22
  Speaker 2: where the fuck is Jake going of this? I will aspiral
• 33:26
  Speaker 2: how I want to spiral?
• 33:26
  Speaker 3: Alright, I will spiral it whatever way I feel like spiring,
• 33:29
  Speaker 3: whatever way my brain takes me.
• 33:31
  Speaker 2: That conversation could have went to, like so like how
• 33:34
  Speaker 2: good was we even? Or sixteen? That's where the spiral
• 33:36
  Speaker 2: could have gone. Oh yeah.
• 33:41
  Speaker 1: But so everyone out there that is like, how do
• 33:45
  Speaker 1: you want how do you want us to label you now?
• 33:48
  Speaker 2: So I'm a deep thinker and you're going.
• 33:50
  Speaker 3: To say everyone out there that listens to relateable.
• 33:52
  Speaker 2: Also a deep thinker. I think we've got something different.
• 33:54
  Speaker 2: This is what you say to everyone.
• 33:55
  Speaker 3: Okay, I listen to this podcast, and I bet you
• 33:58
  Speaker 3: used to say Oddie, real deep thing, Jake, pretty willy nil.
• 34:01
  Speaker 3: I wanted what I want you to say now is
• 34:03
  Speaker 3: Addie real deep thinker Jake.
• 34:04
  Speaker 2: Even deeper.
• 34:10
  Speaker 1: People can take that if they want, we have to
• 34:12
  Speaker 1: change your name to mummy, mate.
• 34:14
  Speaker 2: We can be mummy and mummy.
• 34:24
  Speaker 1: Alrighty Jake, the biggest theme on this podcast is relationships.
• 34:30
  Speaker 2: Hands down and deep thinking. Yeah, now it is.
• 34:33
  Speaker 1: After this episode, mate, we're just going to be going
• 34:35
  Speaker 1: deeper and deeper and deeper. Everyone's like, bring back the.
• 34:37
  Speaker 2: Deep chat everything Jake thinks about his deep guys, I'll
• 34:40
  Speaker 2: start labeling everything deep spiral and what is.
• 34:44
  Speaker 1: The key fundamental that makes a relationship work?
• 34:47
  Speaker 2: Band? Trust? Didn't tell you beforehand what we're talking about.
• 34:52
  Speaker 2: Now you're such a deep thinker, man. That was good.
• 34:55
  Speaker 1: All I think about is trust and love and and
• 34:59
  Speaker 1: once trust is gone, it's sort of like is the
• 35:03
  Speaker 1: relationship worth fighting for? And I wanted to do some
• 35:06
  Speaker 1: research on how can you regain trust and rebuild trust?
• 35:11
  Speaker 1: And actually, actually the literature, Jake was it was not
• 35:16
  Speaker 1: quite what I was looking for because it's kind of
• 35:20
  Speaker 1: just the choice, Like there was no there was no
• 35:24
  Speaker 1: science behind how to trust someone again.
• 35:26
  Speaker 2: It was more like if you've lost trust, yeah yeah, yeah.
• 35:29
  Speaker 1: So what I did find though, this was very interesting
• 35:31
  Speaker 1: and sort of you can make a more informed decision
• 35:34
  Speaker 1: if you understand how trust is formed, and then you
• 35:39
  Speaker 1: can make the informed decision of if you want to
• 35:41
  Speaker 1: rebuild trust. We've said person, So this is the key
• 35:45
  Speaker 1: fundamentals of what makes up trust in a relationship. It
• 35:49
  Speaker 1: is in reference to Francis Freer. I think her name
• 35:51
  Speaker 1: is sed Ted talk. It was in reference to business,
• 35:54
  Speaker 1: so I put it into personal relationships.
• 35:56
  Speaker 2: So oh interesting, Okay, yeah yeah, yeah yeah yeah.
• 35:58
  Speaker 1: She was talking on like businessusiness, business, and I was like, nah, nah,
• 36:01
  Speaker 1: fuck business.
• 36:01
  Speaker 2: I want to talk about love. Our business is loved.
• 36:04
  Speaker 1: Yeah, So the foundation of all relationships. If we trust
• 36:07
  Speaker 1: one another, the world would be such a better place.
• 36:10
  Speaker 1: But what if trust is broken? Can there be redemption?
• 36:13
  Speaker 1: Should you give someone a second chance? How do you
• 36:16
  Speaker 1: build trust in the first place?
• 36:17
  Speaker 2: All? Right, to build trust.
• 36:19
  Speaker 1: We must understand its components first, which there are three.
• 36:23
  Speaker 1: Number one authenticity. Authenticity you know what that is, yep,
• 36:26
  Speaker 1: being true to yourself. Number two belief in what you're saying. Okay,
• 36:31
  Speaker 1: So it's like when I'm telling you something, I actually
• 36:34
  Speaker 1: believe it myself.
• 36:35
  Speaker 2: You're not saying it as a question.
• 36:36
  Speaker 1: And it's also like it's basically saying I'm not lying
• 36:39
  Speaker 1: when I'm saying something. Okay, it's like coming from like
• 36:41
  Speaker 1: this is actually what happened, yea, like in my eyes.
• 36:44
  Speaker 1: And the third one is empathy, okay, which is the
• 36:48
  Speaker 1: biggest one. When all these three things are working, we
• 36:51
  Speaker 1: have great trust. But as soon as one of these
• 36:54
  Speaker 1: components start to wabble, the trust starts to feel shaky.
• 36:58
  Speaker 1: And that's when a relationship starts to feel shaky. And
• 37:01
  Speaker 1: if your trust starts the wobble, you need to understand
• 37:04
  Speaker 1: where and why trust start to feel wobbly and have
• 37:08
  Speaker 1: already made prescription to overcome it.
• 37:11
  Speaker 2: Cool, can I oh, you're gonna go on? Yeah?
• 37:15
  Speaker 3: I was gonna say so. Basically like, if you're like, fuck,
• 37:17
  Speaker 3: why don't I trust my partner? It's looking for the reason. Yes,
• 37:22
  Speaker 3: So the reason could be something they've done, or the
• 37:24
  Speaker 3: reason could be that you have trust issues from the past.
• 37:26
  Speaker 1: Yes, yes, yeah, And it's understanding where it's coming from
• 37:28
  Speaker 1: and whether or not you as a team can overlook
• 37:31
  Speaker 1: that thing. And they're the three pillars where you look
• 37:33
  Speaker 1: for it first and then understand, Oh, that's why I
• 37:36
  Speaker 1: feel like it's getting a bit shaky and I don't
• 37:37
  Speaker 1: trust them, So to three pillars. The most common wobble
• 37:40
  Speaker 1: is empathy. People believe that their partner is too distracted
• 37:45
  Speaker 1: and in it for individual gain. They're not in it
• 37:47
  Speaker 1: for the greater good of the relationship. So here's the prescription.
• 37:51
  Speaker 1: Identify where, when, and who is distracting your partner's empathy.
• 37:56
  Speaker 1: That should trace pretty perfectly to the cause of why
• 37:58
  Speaker 1: your partner has lack of empathy and trust has started
• 38:01
  Speaker 1: to wabble. And from here you can see the situation
• 38:04
  Speaker 1: for what it is and ask yourself if you think
• 38:06
  Speaker 1: your partner can overcome these distractions.
• 38:09
  Speaker 2: So that makes sense, Yeah, I was. I've found that
• 38:13
  Speaker 2: like really insightful.
• 38:13
  Speaker 1: It's just like it's understanding why they don't have empathy,
• 38:16
  Speaker 1: and that's why the trust is feeling like wait, that's
• 38:18
  Speaker 1: he's getting distracted by them. Yeah, and honestly by that bitch.
• 38:22
  Speaker 1: She emphasized that the first step to regaining empathy in
• 38:26
  Speaker 1: a relationship is putting down the phone, respecting each other's boundaries.
• 38:31
  Speaker 1: When it comes to all the apps, it is so
• 38:33
  Speaker 1: difficult to build from a start or even rebuild empathy
• 38:37
  Speaker 1: in the presence of a phone.
• 38:40
  Speaker 2: Whoa, because it's a distraction. It's a distraction.
• 38:42
  Speaker 1: It distracts your mind from this beautiful person in front
• 38:45
  Speaker 1: of you, and there's all these different determinants that are
• 38:47
  Speaker 1: like do I love her or do I like this
• 38:49
  Speaker 1: fucking chicken on Instagram. It's half nagud or.
• 38:50
  Speaker 2: Like wait, talking about phones is Yeah.
• 38:53
  Speaker 3: Beth was in her bathroom the other day and I
• 38:55
  Speaker 3: was watching the video of lego on TikTok and I
• 38:58
  Speaker 3: was in this video of TikTok logo.
• 39:00
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 39:01
  Speaker 3: She was saying stuff to me and I was like,
• 39:02
  Speaker 3: oh yeah, yeah, like i'd pause it, oh yeah, yeah,
• 39:04
  Speaker 3: put it back on it. She'd be like, are you
• 39:05
  Speaker 3: even listening? And I'm like, no, I'm watching.
• 39:07
  Speaker 2: Yeah, to throw my phone away so I could listen,
• 39:09
  Speaker 2: and I was like, sorry, I'm being rude.
• 39:10
  Speaker 1: That's the perfect example when like in my head I
• 39:13
  Speaker 1: was thinking, like if someone does something really bad, how
• 39:17
  Speaker 1: can you regain trust? And that's not really there's no
• 39:20
  Speaker 1: real answer to that. It's more like those little things
• 39:24
  Speaker 1: of like trusting each other and how to build the
• 39:28
  Speaker 1: best foundations to build a strong bond. And that's if
• 39:31
  Speaker 1: someone's doing something like that consistently, and then best say,
• 39:35
  Speaker 1: best started to trust you less because you were never
• 39:37
  Speaker 1: listening to her and you're thinking about it, You're.
• 39:38
  Speaker 3: Just stop talking to me, Yeah, just trust that I'm listening. Yes, yes, yes,
• 39:41
  Speaker 3: But that's.
• 39:41
  Speaker 2: An example of where you can rebuild it.
• 39:43
  Speaker 1: You can't rebuild it with all these terrible things like cheating,
• 39:45
  Speaker 1: But these little minute things that add up and make
• 39:48
  Speaker 1: a relationship unstable and untrusting is what you can rebuild from. Yes,
• 39:52
  Speaker 1: So the second most important component of trust is belief
• 39:56
  Speaker 1: in what you're saying, basically if you're lying or not.
• 39:59
  Speaker 1: This is all about communication. When emotions are involved, most
• 40:02
  Speaker 1: people really can't spit out what they're trying to say.
• 40:05
  Speaker 1: They just get jumbled up and confuse all the thoughts
• 40:09
  Speaker 1: and feelings in their mind, and the trust starts to
• 40:11
  Speaker 1: wobble more and more and you can't really get out
• 40:14
  Speaker 1: what you're saying or what happened in your eyes. So
• 40:17
  Speaker 1: the solution is really simple. And I don't never the
• 40:19
  Speaker 1: thought of this, but it makes so much sense. And
• 40:21
  Speaker 1: when I'm trying to talk to my partner about something
• 40:24
  Speaker 1: that like a tricky conversation, I kind of beat around
• 40:27
  Speaker 1: the bush.
• 40:27
  Speaker 2: Same not the right thing to do.
• 40:30
  Speaker 1: So when you spit out your point of view, spit
• 40:33
  Speaker 1: it out in a crisp half sentence, with like a
• 40:36
  Speaker 1: topics sentence, like at the start, that's what you're trying
• 40:39
  Speaker 1: to get across straight away. Yeah, and then give your
• 40:42
  Speaker 1: supporting evidence. So you can spit this out to your
• 40:45
  Speaker 1: partner so they can digest it really good. The information
• 40:48
  Speaker 1: is in like a good format to digest. And also
• 40:51
  Speaker 1: it's important in a relationship to let the person finish.
• 40:53
  Speaker 1: But normally when you're having a heated argument, the person
• 40:56
  Speaker 1: then goes, no, no, this is.
• 40:57
  Speaker 2: How it is.
• 40:58
  Speaker 1: So if you spit out your point of view in
• 41:01
  Speaker 1: the first line, no matter what, you've got your if
• 41:04
  Speaker 1: it was a cross, yeah, you've got it across, no
• 41:06
  Speaker 1: matter what, and you can both digest the information healthily. Yes,
• 41:09
  Speaker 1: which is really insightful because I often just would be
• 41:11
  Speaker 1: better around the bush. Try and like, I don't know,
• 41:12
  Speaker 1: but you worry about their feelings.
• 41:13
  Speaker 3: You don't want to say it in a way where
• 41:15
  Speaker 3: you're hurting their feelings because you don't want to hurt
• 41:16
  Speaker 3: their feelings.
• 41:17
  Speaker 2: You just want them to know that they've potentially hurt
• 41:19
  Speaker 2: your feelings.
• 41:19
  Speaker 1: And it's happened to me before, like we've had a conversation.
• 41:21
  Speaker 1: I was like, I didn't really say what I thought
• 41:22
  Speaker 1: I was going to say, Like I didn't get across
• 41:25
  Speaker 1: what I actually felt because we started to have a conversation.
• 41:27
  Speaker 2: I should really start with.
• 41:30
  Speaker 3: And it's not her fault that you didn't have the conversation.
• 41:32
  Speaker 2: That's just what happens. It's like, fuck, I didn't say
• 41:34
  Speaker 2: it at the start.
• 41:35
  Speaker 1: Yeah, that's what gets That's just what happens in a relationship.
• 41:38
  Speaker 2: I am. I really really need to work on that. Yeah.
• 41:42
  Speaker 1: And the third component is authenticity. Humans can sniff out
• 41:46
  Speaker 1: the moment when someone isn't being their authentic self. So
• 41:50
  Speaker 1: in many ways, the prescription is clear, be you.
• 41:54
  Speaker 2: You don't want to have an unauthentic wobble? Do you?
• 41:57
  Speaker 2: Be you?
• 41:59
  Speaker 1: If you hold back who you are, you're less likely
• 42:01
  Speaker 1: to be trusted, which I thought was a great sentence.
• 42:04
  Speaker 2: If you're being like if you.
• 42:05
  Speaker 1: It's also like, when I thought about that, a lot
• 42:07
  Speaker 1: of people think I'm too much, I won't be who
• 42:11
  Speaker 1: I actually am, and then there's no trust there because
• 42:13
  Speaker 1: they're hiding are they think they're going to be too much.
• 42:16
  Speaker 1: So it's really like playing on the fact of be
• 42:19
  Speaker 1: exactly who you think.
• 42:21
  Speaker 2: You are, know who you want your part, you don't
• 42:23
  Speaker 2: want you to be yeah yeah yeah yeah.
• 42:25
  Speaker 1: So to build trust, regain trust, and trust one another,
• 42:30
  Speaker 1: it all comes back to being your authentic self. Where
• 42:32
  Speaker 1: would you want to wear, pay less attention to what
• 42:35
  Speaker 1: you think people want to hear, and far more attention
• 42:38
  Speaker 1: to what your authentic, awesome self needs to say, and
• 42:41
  Speaker 1: in your relationship, build an environment that is safe to
• 42:44
  Speaker 1: be the person you're meant to be.
• 42:48
  Speaker 2: Fuck yeah, now I like that. It was really insightful.
• 42:53
  Speaker 1: Like when I was researching it, that's not the information
• 42:55
  Speaker 1: I was trying to find.
• 42:56
  Speaker 3: No, you well, yeah, you probably had like this preconceived
• 42:58
  Speaker 3: idea of what would that be like spat out to you. Yeah,
• 43:02
  Speaker 3: And it's basically the fundamentals of where trust come from
• 43:06
  Speaker 3: and how to work on them in a healthy manner.
• 43:09
  Speaker 3: And it all comes back to just being yourself, believe
• 43:12
  Speaker 3: in what you're saying, and try and say it in
• 43:15
  Speaker 3: a clear, concise way.
• 43:17
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 43:17
  Speaker 3: The thing I've taken away with the most from that
• 43:19
  Speaker 3: is definitely the if, like there is a chat to
• 43:22
  Speaker 3: be had, you need to know at least like you can't,
• 43:27
  Speaker 3: like you need to go into it knowing the first
• 43:29
  Speaker 3: sentence instead of instead of trying to spit like jibber
• 43:32
  Speaker 3: jabber until the sentence comes to you.
• 43:34
  Speaker 2: Yeah. So yeah, like you really need to put so maybe, Yeah,
• 43:37
  Speaker 2: you really do need to put thought into it.
• 43:39
  Speaker 1: And for me, my biggest takeaway was like empathy when
• 43:43
  Speaker 1: my girlfriend's talking and stuff, get off your phone, Noddy,
• 43:45
  Speaker 1: Like I don't need to fucking reply to Jake about
• 43:47
  Speaker 1: business right now? No, exactly, yeah, which I do all
• 43:49
  Speaker 1: the time, and I can wait yeah yeah, yeah. Honestly
• 43:52
  Speaker 1: all the time, I'm like, oh, I just got to
• 43:53
  Speaker 1: do this one second. And I should be like I
• 43:55
  Speaker 1: should be like, no, I didn't need to do this.
• 43:56
  Speaker 1: I don't even need to tell Jakes for the fucking
• 43:57
  Speaker 1: wait five minutes.
• 43:58
  Speaker 2: Yeah, after I'm exactly the same. Yeah, I am so bad.
• 44:03
  Speaker 3: Like for some reason, I'll be like, like if we
• 44:06
  Speaker 3: have a WhatsApp chat with our manager ping, or if
• 44:08
  Speaker 3: you message me, sometimes i'd be like, oh, you know,
• 44:11
  Speaker 3: I'll just be like like it's.
• 44:14
  Speaker 2: A zero reason as to why.
• 44:16
  Speaker 3: Yeah, but I'm like, oh, I need to figure that
• 44:18
  Speaker 3: out now, or I need to reply to that now.
• 44:20
  Speaker 2: I know, like and I was, but really, I think
• 44:23
  Speaker 2: about this.
• 44:24
  Speaker 3: If either one of us was to message the other
• 44:27
  Speaker 3: about something important per se, and we messaged and it
• 44:31
  Speaker 3: took maybe five minutes to reply, if I was desperate
• 44:35
  Speaker 3: for an answer.
• 44:36
  Speaker 2: I'd call you.
• 44:36
  Speaker 3: I'd call you until you answered. If I was desperate.
• 44:39
  Speaker 3: Nothing's ever that desperate.
• 44:41
  Speaker 1: No ever, we just build it up in our heads
• 44:43
  Speaker 1: that it is for no reason. So that's a takeaway
• 44:45
  Speaker 1: for me because I definitely build up this false thing
• 44:47
  Speaker 1: in my head that like I've got to do this
• 44:48
  Speaker 1: right now and I'm not going to realize that this
• 44:51
  Speaker 1: is affecting my relationship in a way.
• 44:53
  Speaker 2: Yeah, no, that's good.
• 44:54
  Speaker 3: One thing Beth is good at actually is like if
• 44:57
  Speaker 3: she is doing something where she knows it needs her
• 44:59
  Speaker 3: attention and I'm talking, She'll be like, I'm so sorry,
• 45:01
  Speaker 3: this is like something I have to sort right now.
• 45:03
  Speaker 3: She's like I'm listening, like, yeah, I'm sorry, this is
• 45:06
  Speaker 3: like something that's like red alert, and I'll.
• 45:08
  Speaker 2: Just be like, oh shit, like I'll wait, Yeah, that's
• 45:11
  Speaker 2: good too. I think there's nothing wrong with that.
• 45:12
  Speaker 3: I think it's like just let the person know that
• 45:15
  Speaker 3: like I don't, and by no means so I feel
• 45:16
  Speaker 3: like less important than what she's doing. But at that
• 45:19
  Speaker 3: moment I kind of end because what I'm talking about
• 45:21
  Speaker 3: is just dumb. I'm talking about like, oh, how good
• 45:24
  Speaker 3: was that sex we had last night? And she's got
• 45:25
  Speaker 3: someone at work being like I'm gonna quit, Like I
• 45:27
  Speaker 3: don't know, like she's like that like what I'm talking
• 45:29
  Speaker 3: about is stupid.
• 45:31
  Speaker 1: Yeah, And honestly, I've started to implement a little bit
• 45:33
  Speaker 1: more like I'm sure every person listening in a relationship
• 45:36
  Speaker 1: will been in a relationship.
• 45:37
  Speaker 2: As soon as there's a bit of downtime.
• 45:38
  Speaker 1: They just go on their phone and like instead of
• 45:40
  Speaker 1: like sitting on the bed or sitting on the couch
• 45:41
  Speaker 1: waiting for their partner, I don't know, do something like
• 45:43
  Speaker 1: that like best doing, they go on their phone and
• 45:45
  Speaker 1: detached from like the conversation and the environment they're in.
• 45:48
  Speaker 1: It was like I've been trying to put especially when
• 45:49
  Speaker 1: I'm with my part to put the phone down and
• 45:51
  Speaker 1: just like wait passionately and think about like us, which
• 45:53
  Speaker 1: I think is really healthy, healthy.
• 45:55
  Speaker 2: Yeah, wonder what we could do to try and put
• 45:56
  Speaker 2: our phones down.
• 45:58
  Speaker 1: And so I've been trying to charge in a different room. Yeah,
• 46:00
  Speaker 1: like when a planners.
• 46:02
  Speaker 2: Yeah, but like that's one of my STIPs. Really, these
• 46:05
  Speaker 2: things fucking ruined the world.
• 46:06
  Speaker 3: But they do, like even if thing about like if
• 46:09
  Speaker 3: like this isn't a bad time to go on my phone,
• 46:10
  Speaker 3: but yeah, like if Beth is like doing her makeup,
• 46:12
  Speaker 3: I'll just go on my phone to pass the time. Yeah,
• 46:14
  Speaker 3: but I mean but thinking about like I could just
• 46:16
  Speaker 3: be like I could just lay on her bed and
• 46:18
  Speaker 3: fucking I don't know, have a chat with her about
• 46:21
  Speaker 3: what her week has coming up, just simple shit like
• 46:24
  Speaker 3: because you never run out of stuff to talk about.
• 46:26
  Speaker 1: No, And I think that's that's working on empathy and
• 46:28
  Speaker 1: being there with her.
• 46:30
  Speaker 2: Yeah, she's healthy, so yeah, why like we have that.
• 46:33
  Speaker 3: It's like like a smoker or someone that vapes a
• 46:36
  Speaker 3: lot of the time, it's like they're addicted to the nicotine.
• 46:39
  Speaker 3: But another the other thing they're addicted to is the
• 46:41
  Speaker 3: action m you know, out of your pocket, vape or cigarette.
• 46:44
  Speaker 2: They're addicted to that action. I really want to get
• 46:46
  Speaker 2: less addicted to my phone.
• 46:47
  Speaker 3: So we're addicted to as soon as our brain knows
• 46:51
  Speaker 3: that we have a minute of nothing, give me some
• 46:56
  Speaker 3: fucking thing, give me something to do, give me some dopamine, man,
• 46:59
  Speaker 3: Like I would you know, I'm really really like this morning,
• 47:02
  Speaker 3: I ate breakfast and I was going about to go
• 47:05
  Speaker 3: on the balcony and then I was like, yeah, I'm
• 47:09
  Speaker 3: gonna sit on the table and just scroll my phone.
• 47:11
  Speaker 3: And then I'm and I made the active decision to
• 47:13
  Speaker 3: do it, and I was like, yeah, I shouldn't be
• 47:15
  Speaker 3: doing this, but I did it anyway.
• 47:16
  Speaker 2: You know.
• 47:16
  Speaker 3: It's like it's like it's like I catch myself, but
• 47:18
  Speaker 3: I still am just so addicted that I'm.
• 47:20
  Speaker 1: Like, it's like a drug. It's the same concept. It's
• 47:22
  Speaker 1: the same you gotta taper off, and like it's so
• 47:24
  Speaker 1: much easier than done. But I think every well, update everyone, Yeah,
• 47:29
  Speaker 1: I'm gonna try that. I'm gonna write it down so
• 47:30
  Speaker 1: I remember.
• 47:31
  Speaker 3: Yeah, maybe maybe we should go while Yeah, we should
• 47:36
  Speaker 3: make our phone wall screen.
• 47:37
  Speaker 2: Put your phone down? Why why are you picking this
• 47:39
  Speaker 2: up right now? Put it down? If it's pointless? Holy shit,
• 47:42
  Speaker 2: it's this is why we talk. You're a deep think about.
• 47:47
  Speaker 3: I was like, here's one more thing that you could
• 47:48
  Speaker 3: do if you feel just connected with your partner while
• 47:50
  Speaker 3: you're out.
• 47:50
  Speaker 2: Their house, and it's because you're on your phone.
• 47:52
  Speaker 3: Just FaceTime because then you're on your phone, but I
• 47:55
  Speaker 3: mean like while you're in bed together.
• 47:56
  Speaker 2: Just FaceTime, yeah, instead of texting. Yeah.
• 47:58
  Speaker 3: No, I mean like, as that joke didn't land away
• 48:04
  Speaker 3: well just on the episode.
• 48:05
  Speaker 2: Sorry, you're not the funny one anymore, mane, You're the
• 48:07
  Speaker 2: deep thing. I didn't think you were going to be
• 48:10
  Speaker 2: putting jokes out there.
• 48:11
  Speaker 3: Sorry, guys, Okay, thank you very much for listening. We
• 48:23
  Speaker 3: are up to page eleven in one hundred and nine
• 48:26
  Speaker 3: Things to say to shatter the male ego. All right, quote,
• 48:30
  Speaker 3: say to a man in the next Batman movie.
• 48:33
  Speaker 2: The Joker should be a woman. Okay.
• 48:36
  Speaker 3: When he presses you on this, say well, women are
• 48:40
  Speaker 3: more prosecuted in society, so I think she'd have actual
• 48:44
  Speaker 3: things to be upset about. As he stares at you,
• 48:47
  Speaker 3: stunned in silence, finish him off by saying and maybe
• 48:51
  Speaker 3: Tom Holland can play Batman. Caution, saying this to the
• 48:57
  Speaker 3: wrong man will turn him into the Joker in real life.
• 49:00
  Speaker 2: It's so random and wild. So do we have a
• 49:03
  Speaker 2: is it batwoman? No? You me? And the female woman
• 49:08
  Speaker 2: isn't a cat woman? A catwoman? And there's a bat woman?
• 49:10
  Speaker 3: Yeah, and like the female version of the Joker is
• 49:13
  Speaker 3: Harley Quinn. But I think it's funny to be like
• 49:15
  Speaker 3: the Jokers should be a female.
• 49:17
  Speaker 1: So I really want to jump on this bandwagon of
• 49:20
  Speaker 1: thinking you're a deep thinker. Yeah, but then like the
• 49:22
  Speaker 1: other side of the world is you were on TikTok
• 49:23
  Speaker 1: scrolling and you saw a book that said one hundred
• 49:25
  Speaker 1: and one words pissed men off, and you fucking bought us.
• 49:29
  Speaker 2: We bought it. Sick. How much was the away twenty
• 49:35
  Speaker 2: five came from?
• 49:37
  Speaker 3: Like Finland because that no one had it like a
• 49:39
  Speaker 3: finished bookstore.
• 49:43
  Speaker 2: Such a such a deep thinker. You are right, Oh,
• 49:46
  Speaker 2: we love you.
• 49:47
  Speaker 1: Know what to do Patreon actually episode every week five
• 49:50
  Speaker 1: stars you Oh yeah, we got to say that.
• 49:51
  Speaker 2: We keep forgetting five stars if you.
• 49:53
  Speaker 1: Enjoy the episode five star and the last thing Facebook group.
• 49:56
  Speaker 2: Is going great?
• 49:56
  Speaker 1: Yes, so go join everything links in the description of
• 49:59
  Speaker 1: this and the Lincoln buyo on Instagram.
• 50:00
  Speaker 2: We love a bite