Latest / The Play Therapy Circle / Episode 24- Christmas Special Part Two. 10 Things Every Play Therapist Needs to Know at Christmas

Transcript

Episode 24- Christmas Special Part Two. 10 Things Every Play Therapist Needs to Know at Christmas · The Play Therapy Circle

0:00
Hi there and welcome to the Play Therapy Circle.
0:04
Before we begin, Please note this podcast is for
0:07
informational and educational purposes only.
0:10
It does not provide therapeutic advice and listening does not
0:14
create a client therapist relationship.
0:17
All views expressed are my own and any case example shared have
0:21
been de identified to protect privacy.
0:24
If you're seeking personal support, please reach out to a
0:27
qualified mental health professional in your area.
0:33
Hi and welcome to an episode of the Play Therapy Circle.
0:38
I'm Kylie Ellison, a therapist, clinical supervisor and play
0:42
therapy trainer, and I'm so grateful you're here.
0:46
This podcast is a space for thoughtful, soulful
0:49
conversations about child centred therapy, play based work
0:53
and what it means to show up with presence and compassion,
0:57
both for our clients and for ourselves.
1:00
Whether you're a season play therapist, a student just
1:03
starting out, or someone deeply passionate about working with
1:07
children, you belong here. Hi everyone, and welcome back to
1:14
the Play Therapy Circle podcast. I'm your host, Kylie Ellison,
1:18
and I am so glad you are here. Welcome to Part 2 of our episode
1:24
on 10 things every play therapist needs to know at
1:27
Christmas. This episode is coming out the
1:32
week of Christmas. Oh, I just bumped the screen.
1:34
This is coming out the week of Christmas.
1:36
So I'm very excited for that. I hope that you guys are feeling
1:41
ready now for Christmas. If some of you listening at this
1:45
time when it's going to be released already on Christmas
1:48
break, that's amazing. I'm so happy for you.
1:52
I hope you're doing OK. So this episode is dedicated to
1:56
all of my child centre play therapist out there who are
2:00
heading into Christmas Day. This is for you.
2:03
So I want to talk a little bit about some of the things to hold
2:08
in mind and keep in mind as we're working during this year
2:12
because you are important too. So what do we mean when we talk
2:17
about looking after ourselves? Oh my gosh, that sounds like
2:19
such a loaded question, right? Because we are just as important
2:24
in the playroom in making sure that we're OK along with our
2:27
clients and supporting our clients.
2:29
So this time of year can be very challenging.
2:34
So when we talk about my first point here around the end of
2:38
year, fatigue is real. Oh, if you are feeling a little
2:44
bit fatigued right now, that's because oftentimes fatigue is
2:49
layered. It's not just December, it's the
2:51
whole year. It's the whole year.
2:54
So if you took a moment to kind of reflect, and I feel like I'm
2:58
going to do this for our last episode, it's just kind of like
3:01
a year in snapshot. And I feel like there's probably
3:04
so many apps and things out there.
3:07
I am so like behind with the times you guys around AI and
3:10
stuff like that. I'm sure there's apps that you
3:13
can, you know, put in your photos, if that's a thing like
3:16
your family photos. I'm not talking about client
3:18
work obviously, but just kind of your life and what you've done
3:23
this year to personally kind of reflect, not to share anywhere,
3:26
but just for your own reflections.
3:27
I imagine that if we had some sort of creative collage put
3:31
together or something, it would be huge for everyone listening.
3:36
It's been a year, you guys, it's been a year.
3:38
And I feel like maybe because I'm getting older as well, I
3:41
feel like I say that every year. So if you feel like you say that
3:44
every year, I see you as well. Maybe it's just the weight of
3:48
the years. I don't know.
3:49
That sounds very deep and way too deep for today.
3:52
But I think that when we talk about the different stresses
3:56
that we hold, there's the emotional holding for our
3:58
clients, there's the admin side of things, and then there's your
4:02
own life stresses thrown in the mix there.
4:04
So if you are feeling that culmination, there's good reason
4:08
for that. There's a lot going on.
4:10
So we may have also at this time a level of kind of our reduced
4:15
patience. So if you are feeling a little
4:18
bit more like your bandwidth is a little bit more limited,
4:22
that's important to take notice of.
4:25
And it's certainly not that you are failing in any way.
4:30
It's more just your capacity right now leading into the
4:34
holiday period. So your nervous system might be
4:37
a bit overloaded as well. That's just the nature of where
4:41
we were at at this time of year and that culmination of
4:44
everything we have worked on and supported and held space for
4:48
over the year as well. Compassion fatigue.
4:51
It's important to kind of note that without any shame that we
4:58
all work to the best of our abilities every day.
5:01
And I know that for every person listening that that is your goal
5:05
is to come into the playroom, hear children's stories, support
5:09
families, and be there for your community.
5:11
I have no doubt. But with that, eventually, if
5:15
we're not taking good enough care of ourselves, comes that
5:19
accumulation of that compassion fatigue and potentially burnout.
5:23
I, I want to call them different things.
5:24
I almost feel like that needs to be a podcast episode all on its
5:26
own because we need to dive into those definitions.
5:29
But I just want to highlight if there is any sense of compassion
5:32
for tech, that's OK to feel that as well and to acknowledge that.
5:35
Notice that in the lead up to Christmas fatigue deserves care,
5:40
not self criticism. So I feel like I can relate to
5:44
this a little bit. When you feel like in the lead
5:48
up to Christmas, you're maybe not getting everything done as
5:51
quickly as you like. Literally after recording this,
5:54
I have about half a dozen admin type tasks that I need to do and
5:57
it's Saturday and I'm doing it on a Saturday.
6:00
So I'm like the worst example, you guys, really?
6:03
That's OK. I know.
6:05
And the reason I can justify it. And everyone needs to have their
6:07
justification of how they make this work.
6:10
For me, I know I'm finishing up next week.
6:12
So it's kind of for me about wrapping up those admin tasks so
6:17
that I can truly have a break when we finish up next Friday.
6:20
So I think that as long as you have those boundaries in place
6:24
and those end goals, insight and you know you're going to have a
6:26
break, making sure that you are not being too hard on yourself
6:31
if you don't feel like you're getting everything done and
6:33
you're feeling that fatigue because that's real as well.
6:35
That's real number, the 2nd 10, Gosh, I'm losing count of the
6:39
numbers because I'm fatigued. Point #2 point #2 well,
6:43
technically over our 2 partert #7 but point #2 for this
6:46
episode, rest is not a reward, it's a clinical responsibility.
6:52
So anyone who is not going to take a break over Christmas.
6:56
So if you have so here in Brisbane, again, I'm just going
7:00
to talk to Brisbane. You guys, we have public
7:02
holidays for Christmas Day, Boxing Day and New Year's Day.
7:06
I think that's all of them. I could be wrong.
7:09
I'm pretty sure over that kind of period of time between
7:11
Christmas and New Year, there's yeah, a couple of public
7:13
holidays. So there may be some members of
7:16
our community who are only having those days off and
7:18
working in between. So if that's you, have you got
7:22
something scheduled soon where you will be able to have a break
7:25
because that rest is important for you to recharge.
7:28
And I truly, and I feel like I've documented this in previous
7:31
episodes, but I truly noticed it when I went away and had a, I
7:36
had my first week kind of off properly for the year, how much
7:39
better I felt when I came back. And that was only a week.
7:42
I mean, I got sick, but that was the germs on the plane.
7:45
But after, after that, I've noticed that even in my work in
7:49
the playroom, I've been able to be more present and I felt more
7:51
kind of re energised. So I do think there is lots of
7:54
benefits to being able to have that scheduled break.
7:57
So if you are not taking time off between Christmas and New
8:00
Year, do you have something planned soon?
8:02
Because that's really important. Therapist regulation impacts
8:06
client safety. Oh, I don't want to get too real
8:09
here for this episode. I think it's important because I
8:14
always, always lean into my tenants of CCPT.
8:16
If I can't be 100% present, I need to be.
8:20
So I'm certainly taking every step I can to make sure I am
8:24
present in the playroom. But if I'm not, I'm just making
8:28
sure that I'm acknowledging and recognising that and showing my
8:31
congruence in the playroom because kids will pick up on
8:34
that anyway and may even interpret it in a negative way
8:38
and sort of feel like they're boring us or, you know, they're
8:41
not good enough or all of that sort of transference,
8:43
countertransference. It can happen.
8:45
So just acknowledging if you're having a tough time to regulate
8:48
and really taking those steps to look after yourself.
8:50
So having a break helps. Rest supports attunement and
8:53
presence. It really does truly burnout
8:56
reduces therapeutic effectiveness.
8:59
I feel like I don't have to say that either.
9:01
If you're not really able to be present and you're just going
9:04
through the motions and you're exhausted, it, it will likely
9:09
have an impact potentially on your therapeutic outcomes with
9:11
your clients. So it's, it's not just a
9:15
privilege or a reward, it's, it's a necessity as part of your
9:18
practise. Rest is preventative, not
9:21
indulgent. So it's actually helping us get
9:23
through the year. And I truly am taking that
9:25
mindset into 2026. And I know I've talked about
9:28
this in previous episodes, so you guys already probably know
9:30
for our regular listeners, but I have scheduled breaks all next
9:34
year because I didn't this year and I'm exhausted.
9:39
So I learnt very quickly because I tend to be yeah, in that
9:43
space. I'll take that on board pretty
9:45
quickly and pivot. And I realised I needed regular
9:48
breaks next year. So that's really important as
9:51
well that you don't feel like you have to earn rest.
9:54
And for any of you who are constant goal setters like me,
10:00
constantly keep moving forward rather than taking those breaks,
10:04
you almost feel like you have to justify it.
10:06
Please don't feel like you have to justify it.
10:08
I'm talking to myself as I'm talking to you guys as well.
10:10
We don't need to justify it because it's actually part of us
10:14
being able to be the best version of ourselves in the
10:16
playroom for our clients. So it's actually really
10:19
important and ethical practise includes sustainability.
10:22
That is like going to be my catch phrase for 2026 because
10:26
having those regular breaks is going to help that
10:28
sustainability certainly for me as a practitioner.
10:31
So if you are thinking about that, if you're kind of
10:34
struggling with feeling tired over this Christmas holiday
10:39
period, reflecting on, yeah, those breaks, how you're able to
10:44
do that, I think breaks look different.
10:47
They look different for different people, but I also
10:49
think that breaks look different from short to long term.
10:54
So what do I mean by that? I feel like you can have breaks,
10:56
say with public holidays, so where you might have a
11:00
situation. So Easter is kind of an example
11:02
here in Brisbane. So in Brisbane we would have
11:04
Good Friday as a public holiday and Easter Monday as a public
11:08
holiday. So technically then if you have
11:10
Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Monday off, you've had like a four day
11:13
long weekend for me. And I'm just talking to me, you
11:17
guys, I have learnt this year that's not enough.
11:21
So if I feel like I am having that break and you know, I
11:27
should be recharged and I'm not, I'm questioning, you know, why
11:30
can't I do better and, and be more energised and more present
11:35
for my clients. What I've learnt this year is
11:37
I'm not fully recharged yet. It's not enough.
11:40
So we are going to be closing for a whole week of that
11:46
Christmas new period to have a proper like week and a half
11:49
almost off during that time. So that's one way to kind of
11:54
reflect on. Has long weekends been enough
11:57
for you? Do you just need more of those
11:58
in your schedule next year? Or do you actually need a proper
12:01
break? And everyone will be different
12:03
and have a different answer to that.
12:05
OK #3 for this episode #8 for those 10 things, you don't have
12:09
to reflect, review and reset all at once.
12:13
Oh man, this is me in real time. We may feel that pressure to
12:19
wrap up everything perfectly at the end of the year.
12:23
We know we work at the pace of the child, we work in a person
12:26
centred approach to therapy. We work with our communities and
12:32
our families holistically and not everyone is going to be
12:36
beautifully kind of wrapped up, finished and sorted by the time
12:41
you close your office. Say that for us, the 19th of
12:43
December. It just doesn't happen that way.
12:45
So don't feel that pressure to have ticked all those boxes,
12:50
completed all those tasks before you finish.
12:52
I'm literally talking to myself, you guys.
12:56
Oh man, don't do it. It will all be there next year.
12:59
That's that's a glass half empty approach.
13:01
But no, I think it's what is within our circle of influence,
13:05
what is achievable for us and being proud of that as opposed
13:10
to critical of that. So end of year reviews can feel
13:14
overwhelming. You can feel, you know, when
13:17
you're having those Christmas parties or you'll get get
13:20
togethers with your organisation or your team or whatever that
13:23
looks like for you. It can just be a year in review
13:27
being that was a lot, that was a lot.
13:31
So yeah, feel free to have that permission, but also too, I feel
13:37
like I'm really like not so positive today.
13:40
So I feel like I want to put a positive spin on it.
13:42
Certainly for many practitioners out there, you might have
13:45
started your own practise this year and that's incredible.
13:48
That's something to celebrate. That's amazing.
13:51
So there will be those interview reviews that are amazing.
13:54
So do that and celebrate that if that's for you.
13:57
Reflection doesn't need to be deep or complete, it can just be
14:01
now. Just how are you feeling coming
14:05
to the end of the year? And I invite all of you guys
14:08
listening to do this in your way, in your time, at your
14:12
leisure, maybe over the Christmas period, just take some
14:15
time to reflect. I know I'm going to be doing
14:17
that when I sit on the beach at Bagara in January, 1000% that's
14:20
exactly what I'm going to be doing.
14:22
And just honouring how hard me and the team have worked, all of
14:27
the incredible stuff we've achieved this year and
14:30
celebrating that as opposed to necessarily feeling like I
14:33
needed to take a whole bunch of stuff off.
14:35
January is allowed to hold reflection.
14:39
So that's what I just said that in terms of doing that myself in
14:43
January, if you don't feel like you can do that in the lead up
14:47
to Christmas and you just need a break and maybe January is your
14:51
time to reflect and decide on your intentions for 2026, I
14:56
think that's great too. Pausing is productive as well.
15:01
Oh, pausing is productive because what I've learnt this
15:05
year is that it's so important for us to have our cup full in
15:09
order to be able to help support others.
15:12
So if our cup is empty, we're not going to be able to do that.
15:16
So pausing, I find, and just having a break is, is really
15:20
helpful for me. So whatever works, I guess for
15:22
you in that space as well #9 point #4 for this episode.
15:27
Christmas self care doesn't have to look Instagram worthy.
15:31
The truth bombs, you guys, The truth bombs.
15:34
Oh, this is like a whole other episode.
15:36
I want to do all in its own around that phenomenon of the
15:40
Instagram moms. I don't know if anyone knows
15:42
about that. I probably talked about that
15:43
before on the podcast. That's just what immediately
15:45
fired in my brain when I thought of that.
15:49
Take that pressure off that you don't need to have it posted
15:56
online. You don't need to have evidence
16:00
that you have kicked goals, that you are amazing and killing it.
16:04
You may want to though. I mean that's totally fine as
16:06
well, but don't feel like it needs to be Instagram worthy.
16:09
I really love this title. The nervous system care is often
16:13
boring and repetitive. I actually, I want to like jump
16:17
sideways for a second. As you guys know, I've been
16:20
trying to post on Instagram and Facebook to kind of keep you
16:23
guys updated about my life. And that was one of the things
16:25
that I was grappling with was this whole idea of, well, I, I
16:28
can't have a bit of a boring life.
16:31
So what am I going to post on Instagram?
16:33
So it's generally just me chatting because I really don't
16:36
have a lot that's hugely exciting happening, but that's
16:41
OK as well. That's that's life.
16:44
The social media version is just like 1% and then like 99% exists
16:50
outside of social media. So do what works for you.
16:53
And if it's repetitive and boring and just grounding and
16:56
just unique to you, great. Do it because that's what's most
16:59
important. It may look like for you over
17:03
the Christmas period, fewer social events.
17:06
Maybe you don't want to go to a whole bunch of things like
17:08
everyone's posting on social media about maybe it's like you
17:11
that you like to go to bed early.
17:13
So our ritual here is that we love to watch a Christmas movie
17:16
and make hot chocolate, but you can bet I'm in bed by 9, I'm in
17:20
bed by 9. So if you're not having big
17:23
nights, even I was saying to my kids yesterday, I was like, and
17:26
they're obviously older now, but I was saying to them, we should
17:29
go around and drive around the streets and have a look at the
17:31
Christmas lights because that's always really fun, get you into
17:34
kind of the festive spirit. And we were all just kind of
17:37
literally like, yeah, I guess we could like it was we're all
17:41
tired. It's all the end of the year.
17:43
So I kind of went, oh, we, we should be doing that.
17:47
But maybe we won't. Maybe we actually won't.
17:51
Maybe we will just look at our own Christmas lights.
17:53
I don't know. I think it's do what's right for
17:56
you and for your family. Absolutely simplifying meals or
18:00
maybe just those quiet transitions after work.
18:03
Just not so much chaos or hecticness or social events or
18:09
just social engagements. Because self care should reduce
18:13
stimulation, not add to it. Where's all my extroverted
18:17
introverts at? Yay, I see you.
18:21
We like to go to a party for about 5 minutes and then we
18:26
smoke bomb and leave because we've got nothing left in our
18:30
social battery. We will do that for about yeah,
18:33
5 or 10 minutes. So it needs to restore you, not
18:38
what looks good. Oh, there we go you guys.
18:42
Holy moly, all the truth bombs today.
18:44
The last point I want to tell you guys for play therapists
18:48
child's and play therapists at Christmas time.
18:50
Ending the year without guilt is a skill.
18:55
Guilt often shows up when slowing down productivity
19:00
culture infiltrates our helping professions, including us.
19:05
So you are allowed to emotionally soften before the
19:10
break. And letting go protects
19:13
longevity, longevity in the field.
19:19
So we can feel that guilt, especially coming into the end
19:23
of the year when we're not doing our client work, we're not, you
19:28
know, in the trenches of our private practise, whatever that
19:31
looks like, because our culture, community culture.
19:34
And again, I can talk to Brisbane and talk to my local
19:38
area. Certainly it's about the culture
19:42
of being busy as being valued in our community.
19:46
So that can come into the helping profession, including
19:49
child centre, play therapist as well.
19:52
And we can feel that guilt about taking a break about what's
19:56
going to happen for our clients, how is our work going to change
19:59
in the new year, all of those things.
20:02
But letting go of that guilt can help you in your longevity of
20:07
your work because otherwise it can really weigh you down and
20:11
have the opposite effect. So ending early or doing less is
20:16
not abandonment. It's about sustainability as an
20:20
act of care for future clients. I think when we feel about this
20:26
guilt or we notice this guilt, it will be about our current
20:30
clients and how we're supporting and serving them.
20:33
I really like this point. It's something that I often lean
20:36
into as well. And what I'm taking into 2026 is
20:40
that I want to be sustainable in my ability to provide my
20:44
services across everything that I do.
20:46
I have so many different aspects of the work that I do that I
20:50
don't want that to fall down if I I'm exhausted and burned out.
20:55
So I actually want to take those breaks so that I can be the best
20:58
version of myself that I can be. So I hope that that message
21:02
connects for you because I know in the helping space, we can
21:06
feel so much guilt about taking that time off and feeling like
21:10
we're letting our clients down. And I actually think, as I've
21:13
just got to mention in those points, it's about the long
21:15
game. It's about I want to be able to
21:17
serve my community for many years to come, not just in the
21:20
next 6 months or 12 months. So how, how do I manage that?
21:26
It's a marathon, not a Sprint. How do I manage that so that I
21:29
can be the best version of myself?
21:31
And we can't just work indefinitely.
21:33
We have to take those breaks to be able to recharge.
21:36
And I think that that's what I've learned this year most
21:39
definitely. So I hope that resonates for you
21:41
too. And I hope that it gives you
21:42
that permission, if you are feeling that guilt, to let that
21:45
go because you are doing your future clients a favour by doing
21:50
that, because it means you're going to be the best version of
21:51
yourself next year to be able to serve more, more families in
21:55
your community. So that is the end of our
21:59
episode, Part 2, Part 2. You guys of 10 things we needed
22:04
to know at Christmas time. I'm going to do a final, final
22:07
mini episode to wrap up our 2025 year before I go, as this
22:15
episode will fall just before Christmas, I believe.
22:19
I would like to wish everyone listening a very Merry Christmas
22:23
because that is what we say in Brisbane.
22:25
So I'm saying where I am locally for those of you
22:29
internationally, happy holidays. I hope that each of you get that
22:33
chance to connect, recharge, and yes, just feel that sense of
22:43
attunement and alignment and joy that the end of the year can
22:49
bring us when we get to stop and reflect for whatever period of
22:53
time that you end up getting that sense of, of, of downtime.
22:58
I also want to acknowledge though, that for many of our
23:01
listeners internationally, Christmas or the holiday period
23:06
may be a really tough time for you as well.
23:08
So I just want to normalise that, acknowledge that and send
23:12
you all of my love because it is not an easy time of year.
23:18
I want you to feel like you are seen and heard during this time,
23:23
that you and your feelings are valid and it's important that
23:29
you take care of yourselves during this time.
23:31
So please look after each other and yourselves.
23:35
Be kind to you more so than ever over this Christmas holiday
23:40
period and and holidays going into the new Year.
23:43
Thank you so much for your support.
23:45
I hope that this episode has been a gentle and kind reminder
23:50
to each of you to look after yourselves.
23:52
And I will see you for one final episode in 2025 and then can't
23:57
wait to connect with you again in 2026.
23:59
So thank you so much for your support.
24:02
Talk to you soon. Bye.
24:07
Thank you so much for being here for another episode of The Play
24:10
Therapy Circle. If anything resonated with you
24:13
today, I'd love it if you could follow the podcast, share it
24:17
with a colleague, or leave a short review.
24:19
It really helps others find our circle.
24:22
And if you have a topic or question you'd love me to
24:24
explore, I'd love to hear from you.
24:27
This space is for you, and I want it to feel like a
24:30
conversation. Until next time, take care of
24:34
yourself and remember you belong here.