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Happy Hour #128: Specific Type of Nerdery · Stuff Mom Never Told You

• 0:05
  Speaker 1: Hey, this is Annie and Samantha.
• 0:06
  Speaker 2: I'm welcome to stefan never told you objection of iHeartRadio,
• 0:18
  Speaker 2: and welcome to another edition of Happy Hour. As always,
• 0:23
  Speaker 2: if you choose to drink, have a drink, or whatever
• 0:27
  Speaker 2: you choose to do, do so responsibly. What are you
• 0:31
  Speaker 2: sitting on, Samantha, I.
• 0:33
  Speaker 1: Am actually slipping on some kombucha pineapple pink wava, very delicious.
• 0:38
  Speaker 2: You're in your pineapple kick Sti'll go.
• 0:40
  Speaker 1: I'm telling you, I'll love some pineapple so good.
• 0:43
  Speaker 2: I still have my frozen pineapple. So I think of things,
• 0:46
  Speaker 2: something could happen. So I kind of did intend for
• 0:53
  Speaker 2: this to happen, but this has become a very nerdy
• 0:57
  Speaker 2: string of content that we're putting out.
• 1:00
  Speaker 1: We are coming close to dragon cons we are. Maybe
• 1:04
  Speaker 1: that's what you're doing here, like you're gearing up for it.
• 1:06
  Speaker 2: I think so. I think I'm in the mindset of
• 1:09
  Speaker 2: got all these thoughts, all these things. I'm working on
• 1:12
  Speaker 2: an episode suggested by Jamie about shipping, and it's already
• 1:15
  Speaker 2: long and epic. I'm very excited about it. Long it is.
• 1:18
  Speaker 1: I don't know if I should thank Jamie or say why.
• 1:21
  Speaker 2: Jamis curse Jamie's name. Yeah, yeah, but it has been
• 1:27
  Speaker 2: it's a string of very nerdy content. And that kind
• 1:30
  Speaker 2: of got me thinking about something that I read. And
• 1:33
  Speaker 2: then a conversation I had with a friend, which is
• 1:36
  Speaker 2: what is a nerd? What does a nerd look like?
• 1:41
  Speaker 2: So I got to hang out with a friend I
• 1:44
  Speaker 2: haven't seen in a very long time recently, and he
• 1:50
  Speaker 2: he was I had come in on him and someone
• 1:54
  Speaker 2: else having this conversation about Barbie, and he was saying
• 2:00
  Speaker 2: something along the lines of like he just didn't get
• 2:04
  Speaker 2: he he never collected Barbie, so just didn't get it.
• 2:07
  Speaker 2: Not that he didn't like it, but he just.
• 2:08
  Speaker 1: Was, ay, did he like the movie?
• 2:10
  Speaker 2: Or yeah, no, he liked it.
• 2:12
  Speaker 1: Understand the movie because you know, this has become a
• 2:14
  Speaker 1: whole like litmus test on men in general.
• 2:18
  Speaker 2: So yes, now he got it. But he was just
• 2:21
  Speaker 2: it was almost like I was like a creature in
• 2:23
  Speaker 2: the zoom and he was like, did you have a
• 2:25
  Speaker 2: weird Barbie? Like all this stuff and weird Barbie? I don't.
• 2:33
  Speaker 1: I will say though, my weird Barbie was based on
• 2:35
  Speaker 1: Trauma So, which is used in a lot of like
• 2:38
  Speaker 1: criminal shows. Oh wow, yeah, anyway, going take this show
• 2:45
  Speaker 1: this episode down.
• 2:47
  Speaker 2: Oh, I love it. We should definitely come back to that,
• 2:49
  Speaker 2: maybe not in this one, yes, But it just kind
• 2:56
  Speaker 2: of made me laugh because he really didn't he didn't
• 3:00
  Speaker 2: have any experience with the with it. And it reminded
• 3:04
  Speaker 2: me of this article that I had popped up on
• 3:07
  Speaker 2: my alerts that was from Polygon, and it was about
• 3:13
  Speaker 2: how you never see the nerd that was depicted in Barbie,
• 3:17
  Speaker 2: which is a kind of a thirty nine year old
• 3:19
  Speaker 2: woman who is a mom who's into kind of a
• 3:23
  Speaker 2: more feminine, stereotypical fandom space, and that you wouldn't call
• 3:30
  Speaker 2: that a nerd. Wait.
• 3:34
  Speaker 1: So the idea was that America Ferrara's character was supposed
• 3:37
  Speaker 1: to be a nerd.
• 3:38
  Speaker 2: Yes, oh okay, yes, And it was really fascinating because
• 3:44
  Speaker 2: when I read it was like, oh, of course, yeah,
• 3:45
  Speaker 2: she's a nerd, Like she knew all of the like
• 3:47
  Speaker 2: Barbie facts, she knew all of the costumes and the
• 3:51
  Speaker 2: dates and all of that stuff, and that's sort of
• 3:54
  Speaker 2: what a nerd is and collects, you know, these dolls maybe,
• 3:58
  Speaker 2: which like collecting action figures. You know, it's the same thing.
• 4:03
  Speaker 2: But I think because our cultural understanding of a nerd
• 4:07
  Speaker 2: for so long has been gate kept, and it's been
• 4:09
  Speaker 2: white men and kind of the domain of what they like,
• 4:13
  Speaker 2: which is usually more science fiction and fantasy kind of stuff.
• 4:17
  Speaker 2: That that's what we think a nerd is, and it's
• 4:19
  Speaker 2: definitely been reinforced by media. Also follow up point, women
• 4:25
  Speaker 2: like that stuff too.
• 4:28
  Speaker 1: One of the first people I think doing you and Holly.
• 4:30
  Speaker 2: Yes, yes, So I don't want to like hide that
• 4:35
  Speaker 2: point obvious, gate that point at all because that has
• 4:38
  Speaker 2: been a fight to get recognized in those spaces. But
• 4:42
  Speaker 2: I think it also points to another issue is what
• 4:44
  Speaker 2: we're saying is frivolous worthy and what's frivolous and what's
• 4:49
  Speaker 2: worthy of like being a nerd, which kind of has
• 4:53
  Speaker 2: like a level of expertise attached to it.
• 4:58
  Speaker 1: It has definitely grown in culture from the eighties still today,
• 5:02
  Speaker 1: which I think a couple of like comedies have made
• 5:06
  Speaker 1: that defrudiation of like nerds are cool now.
• 5:09
  Speaker 2: Yeah, honestly yes, which is I got a lot of
• 5:14
  Speaker 2: thoughts about that. The article from Bolygon had a whole
• 5:20
  Speaker 2: point that like that was like a running joke on
• 5:23
  Speaker 2: the Big Bang theory was that like a girl enters
• 5:26
  Speaker 2: a comic book shop, whoa right and I have several
• 5:33
  Speaker 2: instances I can think of men saying to me with
• 5:37
  Speaker 2: very straight faces, very seriously, oh you're not like those
• 5:40
  Speaker 2: other girls you like comics, or oh you like this,
• 5:46
  Speaker 2: and I'm then they ask me how on the date?
• 5:49
  Speaker 2: I'm like, what is going on right now? Because your
• 5:54
  Speaker 2: your compatibility is literally just she knows who the winter
• 5:58
  Speaker 2: Soldier is? Maybe you need toffee things.
• 6:04
  Speaker 1: I love that because the new narrative and I love
• 6:07
  Speaker 1: seeing it lately has been women coming about being like
• 6:10
  Speaker 1: being told you're not like other girls is not a compliment.
• 6:13
  Speaker 2: Stop it.
• 6:13
  Speaker 1: And I'm like, oh I love this, Yeah, I love
• 6:16
  Speaker 1: this take. Let's do that.
• 6:19
  Speaker 2: I do too. I do too. That's another episode that's
• 6:22
  Speaker 2: been sitting in my outlines for forever because we have
• 6:25
  Speaker 2: like these very system with a lot of outlines. One
• 6:31
  Speaker 2: of them is I want to talk about women who
• 6:32
  Speaker 2: hate other women as like an identity trait, like that,
• 6:37
  Speaker 2: as if that's a good thing. So I do think
• 6:39
  Speaker 2: some women would hear this compliment from men and heavy
• 6:44
  Speaker 2: quotes and be like, oh, I'm not like those other girls.
• 6:47
  Speaker 2: But for me, it's just like might I stand out?
• 6:50
  Speaker 2: It's very off putting, a very suddenly I feel like, Oh,
• 6:56
  Speaker 2: I thought we were just having a conversation about a
• 6:58
  Speaker 2: thing we love, and now you've turned it into too
• 7:00
  Speaker 2: a power dynamic and a dating opportunity. Right.
• 7:05
  Speaker 1: Well, I loved this because again we're gonna come back
• 7:07
  Speaker 1: to it, I know, like later in a different episode.
• 7:10
  Speaker 1: But like, I've been thinking about this with different shows
• 7:12
  Speaker 1: because I think we're slowly getting away from that, but
• 7:14
  Speaker 1: there's still that moment of like being the girl with
• 7:17
  Speaker 1: the boys. Like even though the Barbie show was like
• 7:20
  Speaker 1: all that, but it's still kind of had that competitiveness
• 7:22
  Speaker 1: of being the girl with the boy whatever and needing
• 7:25
  Speaker 1: to be with a boy, but not like they finally
• 7:28
  Speaker 1: figured that out. Lots of conversation, we'renna talk about Barbie.
• 7:31
  Speaker 1: But like in the again, I'm still obsessed with Korean dramas, y'all.
• 7:35
  Speaker 1: I didn't put this in the entertainment thing, but yes,
• 7:36
  Speaker 1: I'm still obsessed with the Korean dramas. And almost in
• 7:39
  Speaker 1: every show, the women always come with the crew of
• 7:42
  Speaker 1: their friends, and I love that. I'm like, I have
• 7:45
  Speaker 1: yet to see like where the if they are without
• 7:48
  Speaker 1: their friends or if they don't have other girlfriends, they're
• 7:50
  Speaker 1: usually the quote unquote villain character, and I think that
• 7:54
  Speaker 1: says a lot and I really appreciate that.
• 7:57
  Speaker 2: I do too. I think, especially when you're looking at
• 8:02
  Speaker 2: it comes like sex in the city, where it's kind
• 8:03
  Speaker 2: of like every week there's a new dude. Yeah, but
• 8:05
  Speaker 2: your friends are still there, Like your friends are gonna stay.
• 8:09
  Speaker 1: Yeah, the dudes are undisposable. And don't get me wrong,
• 8:11
  Speaker 1: the Korean dramas have a lot of bad tropes and
• 8:13
  Speaker 1: they still do like pen women against women still like
• 8:16
  Speaker 1: they still have that dynamic. But I love that it's
• 8:19
  Speaker 1: not all the girls hate this one like that I've seen.
• 8:22
  Speaker 1: I'm sure there's movies and shows out there the people
• 8:24
  Speaker 1: are gonna be like, you have you seen this one
• 8:25
  Speaker 1: of them? But like the ones I've seen, they always
• 8:29
  Speaker 1: have a crew of two or three women with them
• 8:31
  Speaker 1: at all times, and I'm like, yeah, that's what I
• 8:34
  Speaker 1: love seeing.
• 8:35
  Speaker 2: Yes, there's been so much movement, like going back to
• 8:50
  Speaker 2: Dragon Con. I think the last time I was there,
• 8:54
  Speaker 2: I was very impressed, which is very sad, but I
• 9:00
  Speaker 2: was like, wow, this isn't much more like there are
• 9:02
  Speaker 2: a lot more women, there are a lot more people
• 9:03
  Speaker 2: of color. There's it's like more people feeling comfortable being
• 9:08
  Speaker 2: banish and like showcasing what they love. There's still a
• 9:12
  Speaker 2: lot of huge, huge problems, right, but it is getting better,
• 9:20
  Speaker 2: And I hate that that's such a like in so
• 9:23
  Speaker 2: many things like Dungeons and Dragons. I read an article
• 9:25
  Speaker 2: about that where they're like, why is it in every
• 9:28
  Speaker 2: depiction we see of it, it's all men playing and
• 9:31
  Speaker 2: they're all white men, and it's not what it is.
• 9:33
  Speaker 2: That's like not the reality of what it is. And
• 9:36
  Speaker 2: I think that's sort of the question here, is like
• 9:38
  Speaker 2: what we're thinking of when we think of nerd. There's
• 9:44
  Speaker 2: the it's too pronged. I mean it's multi pronged, but
• 9:48
  Speaker 2: like two main prongs. Is like we're thinking of what
• 9:51
  Speaker 2: a nerd looks like, and it's this one thing, and
• 9:53
  Speaker 2: that one thing has white men get kept and and
• 9:58
  Speaker 2: made it feel safe, and companies and the people behind it,
• 10:02
  Speaker 2: like all kinds of things made it feel unsafe, which
• 10:04
  Speaker 2: forces people out or keeps them from ever entering in
• 10:07
  Speaker 2: the first place. Like I didn't go into Genderson and
• 10:11
  Speaker 2: Dragons for a long time because I thought I would
• 10:12
  Speaker 2: be like attacked and feel very like it wouldn't be
• 10:16
  Speaker 2: a fun thing. It would be a scary thing. But
• 10:19
  Speaker 2: also that, like we've talked about in so many episodes
• 10:25
  Speaker 2: around fangirls and geek culture and the fake geek girl
• 10:29
  Speaker 2: and all this stuff, is that when something is more
• 10:33
  Speaker 2: traditionally girly, which, by the way, a big part of
• 10:37
  Speaker 2: this conversation is that toy companies majorly gendered toys that
• 10:41
  Speaker 2: did not need to be gendered, but they did.
• 10:45
  Speaker 1: That.
• 10:46
  Speaker 2: It's not it's frivolous or it's silly. It's not a
• 10:51
  Speaker 2: nerd thing. It's gross and we shouldn't be talking about it. Which,
• 10:56
  Speaker 2: by the way, the Barbie movie just became the first
• 11:00
  Speaker 2: movie with a solo female director to make a billion dollars,
• 11:02
  Speaker 2: so it seems like it's God following. It's got its
• 11:07
  Speaker 2: problems and we'll talk about it, but it's like the
• 11:10
  Speaker 2: argument they always make is that it won't make money.
• 11:12
  Speaker 2: It just does it right.
• 11:16
  Speaker 1: I want to again, we're gonna talk about this, but
• 11:18
  Speaker 1: I do want to reflect on how Greta Gerwig.
• 11:22
  Speaker 2: Uh.
• 11:23
  Speaker 1: There's a lot of conversations in what she's filmed and
• 11:25
  Speaker 1: what she's done in the past, and I wonder how
• 11:27
  Speaker 1: this is a built up to that, Like it's kind
• 11:30
  Speaker 1: of like, hmmm, I'm a little wary because like, I
• 11:34
  Speaker 1: want to watch and see what's happening, because I do
• 11:37
  Speaker 1: want to celebrate that. That's amazing, and I hope we
• 11:39
  Speaker 1: get to follow suit. But does that open doors for
• 11:41
  Speaker 1: women of color? Not necessarily? And that's hmmm again anyway, coming.
• 11:46
  Speaker 2: Back to yes, yes, yeah, no, there's a lot to
• 11:51
  Speaker 2: talk about there. But I think when I had this
• 11:55
  Speaker 2: conversation with my friend and he was so perplexed by
• 11:59
  Speaker 2: this whole thing, and I was thinking about, like, yeah,
• 12:02
  Speaker 2: it is such a it's such a fanish. It can
• 12:05
  Speaker 2: be like, yeah, you collect these dolls, you collect these costumes.
• 12:09
  Speaker 2: I wasn't really into Barbie, but I was super into
• 12:13
  Speaker 2: My Little Pony, and I uh, I always think about
• 12:19
  Speaker 2: this essay I read forever ago that was like my
• 12:23
  Speaker 2: Little Pony wasn't seen as a real fandom until men
• 12:30
  Speaker 2: entered it and they were Broni's and they take up
• 12:33
  Speaker 2: all the space. And it's like, but I've been here
• 12:35
  Speaker 2: this whole time. I've been here the whole time.
• 12:38
  Speaker 1: Why is it now just valid?
• 12:42
  Speaker 2: Yeah, And I think there's a lot of gendered stuff
• 12:45
  Speaker 2: going on here beyond what we're going to get into, because,
• 12:49
  Speaker 2: for instance, it is acceptable for like me to play
• 12:55
  Speaker 2: with like Marvel toys, that's that, that's almost you buy
• 13:00
  Speaker 2: society is a step up like okay, but for like
• 13:05
  Speaker 2: girls to play with my little ponies or for boys
• 13:07
  Speaker 2: to play with my little ponies, that's seen as a
• 13:09
  Speaker 2: step down. Like there it's a clear to me differentiation
• 13:16
  Speaker 2: between what we value and what we think is better.
• 13:18
  Speaker 2: So there's that also, though I hadn't really thought about this,
• 13:24
  Speaker 2: even though I've talked about it on the show. Uh,
• 13:28
  Speaker 2: you really don't see many older women and America Ferrer
• 13:33
  Speaker 2: wasn't even that old, but like, you don't see older
• 13:35
  Speaker 2: women who are fans of things in our entertainment that often,
• 13:39
  Speaker 2: especially moms.
• 13:41
  Speaker 1: Unless they're that crazy old lady. Yes, like crazy cat
• 13:46
  Speaker 1: lady or.
• 13:47
  Speaker 2: Like cringe worthy. She might be a stalker level or
• 13:52
  Speaker 2: she's a hoarder, or she's a hoarder. And so that
• 13:58
  Speaker 2: got me thinking about it because I I've had I
• 14:02
  Speaker 2: have sent text at like three am, like what's it
• 14:04
  Speaker 2: gonna say? But I'm forwardy and I'm still cosplaying. What
• 14:08
  Speaker 2: does that mean about me?
• 14:12
  Speaker 1: I go to dragon Con and most of the people
• 14:14
  Speaker 1: are they're all over twenty something, so like they're like
• 14:18
  Speaker 1: late twenties and older. So also, you can't really afford
• 14:20
  Speaker 1: it unless you got mama's money, true, daddy's money, somebody's money.
• 14:27
  Speaker 2: True. But I did think that was interesting because it
• 14:30
  Speaker 2: was just another example of how we've really like, I
• 14:34
  Speaker 2: think it would be more. We would not be as
• 14:38
  Speaker 2: I don't want to say surprised. I don't feel like
• 14:40
  Speaker 2: I was surprised, but it wouldn't feel so new if
• 14:42
  Speaker 2: I saw an older man being a fan and being
• 14:45
  Speaker 2: really fanish, especially around something that's more in that kind
• 14:51
  Speaker 2: of masculine sphere. It's true, we don't really see that
• 14:54
  Speaker 2: many women, older women doing that.
• 14:57
  Speaker 1: I wonder if part of that is because society sets
• 15:01
  Speaker 1: up for the women not to be able to have
• 15:03
  Speaker 1: hobbies anyway, because they are so busy and then tired.
• 15:10
  Speaker 2: Yes, yes, I thought about that too, because there's a
• 15:14
  Speaker 2: kind of infamous and fandom communities knowledge it's not true,
• 15:21
  Speaker 2: but there's like an understanding that women age out of
• 15:24
  Speaker 2: fandom by twenty five. Most women are done by then,
• 15:29
  Speaker 2: which I would assume has to do with that kind
• 15:35
  Speaker 2: of like maybe that's when you're starting a family, maybe
• 15:37
  Speaker 2: that's when you're doing X y Z. But I also
• 15:39
  Speaker 2: think like the gatekeeping part is a big part of it.
• 15:43
  Speaker 2: And I think while I do think nerds have become
• 15:48
  Speaker 2: more acceptable, like they're more they went mainstream. I don't
• 15:54
  Speaker 2: think women have women nerds have, but men male nerds
• 15:59
  Speaker 2: have so that that's more acceptable. And I feel like
• 16:03
  Speaker 2: this could be me projecting.
• 16:05
  Speaker 1: Well, it's also kind of that conversation that the body
• 16:08
  Speaker 1: like women, there's not been a love for mom bodies,
• 16:11
  Speaker 1: like the thing ye as where dad bodies were celebrated
• 16:17
  Speaker 1: to that point and being told again, this is attraction,
• 16:20
  Speaker 1: this is that level, but like women are like, no,
• 16:22
  Speaker 1: really don't like over the top masculine man. That's more
• 16:26
  Speaker 1: about the threat to us than anything else. But all
• 16:31
  Speaker 1: that to say is they also get more time. Again,
• 16:33
  Speaker 1: those standards are so different on like what people think
• 16:35
  Speaker 1: is attractive and what isn't. Yeah, and then being playing
• 16:40
  Speaker 1: by those roles.
• 16:41
  Speaker 2: Right, And I mean, there is such a toxic fandom
• 16:45
  Speaker 2: culture of you know, like there's been so many stories
• 16:48
  Speaker 2: about harassments that makes you feel unsafe. There's the fact
• 16:54
  Speaker 2: that most of are at conventions, at least most of
• 16:58
  Speaker 2: the characters you're celebrating or white men. So are you
• 17:01
  Speaker 2: gonna like gender swap or race swap. But also I
• 17:07
  Speaker 2: feel like there's a there's this idea that is still
• 17:11
  Speaker 2: hanging on that a woman who is a nerd, like
• 17:20
  Speaker 2: the expectations are different for men if they're a nerd.
• 17:23
  Speaker 2: It's sort of that like Sit commy, like the wife
• 17:25
  Speaker 2: is just nagging at me when I just want to
• 17:27
  Speaker 2: go do build my like Lego sets. I'm sorry, that's
• 17:29
  Speaker 2: very stereotypical, but you know what I mean, Like I
• 17:31
  Speaker 2: want to go just do my thing and they're nagging
• 17:34
  Speaker 2: at me. Whereas for women, I do think there is
• 17:36
  Speaker 2: this idea of like, well, she's shouldn't she be getting
• 17:39
  Speaker 2: a family? Shouldn't she be doing that? Like why she wasted?
• 17:41
  Speaker 2: Like she should be moved on from that childish stuff
• 17:45
  Speaker 2: by now, even though men are still doing it, Like
• 17:49
  Speaker 2: there's some kind of like you're still the idea is
• 17:53
  Speaker 2: still you're trying to attract this dude.
• 17:56
  Speaker 1: But then you also became the caretaker, So why you
• 17:59
  Speaker 1: waste time? I should be caring for your husband and
• 18:02
  Speaker 1: taking care of your health.
• 18:03
  Speaker 2: Yes, yes, there's something like I'm having trouble articulating it,
• 18:17
  Speaker 2: but there's there feels like there's this thing where women
• 18:20
  Speaker 2: feel like they have to give it up where men
• 18:23
  Speaker 2: don't where they feel like, well, then this will make
• 18:26
  Speaker 2: me seem even if I'm only twenty five, which is
• 18:29
  Speaker 2: what they age is. And that thing people repeat all
• 18:32
  Speaker 2: the time is that I'm not of marriageable quality. Something
• 18:36
  Speaker 2: is weird or off about me. I'm too old to
• 18:42
  Speaker 2: be doing this, and so I won't attract a man
• 18:45
  Speaker 2: in this very headed norm of understanding, and I don't.
• 18:49
  Speaker 2: I don't know. I feel like that's that's at play here.
• 18:53
  Speaker 2: I feel like there's some I feel like it's a
• 18:56
  Speaker 2: lot of Oh, I'm going to be harassed. Maybe I
• 19:01
  Speaker 2: have been. I have left because of it. I don't
• 19:04
  Speaker 2: feel comfortable or safe there. But also what if people
• 19:08
  Speaker 2: think I'm strange. I'm an old woman at twenty five
• 19:12
  Speaker 2: still doing a Star Wars cosplay, right.
• 19:16
  Speaker 1: But think about what is given to them to be
• 19:19
  Speaker 1: a child things child's obsession. When you have a little girl,
• 19:23
  Speaker 1: you see kitchen sets and playing house and playing these
• 19:28
  Speaker 1: things that by the time that you're older you should
• 19:31
  Speaker 1: be able to do that. So those kind of novelties
• 19:33
  Speaker 1: are gone. That's not a tobby you want anymore. Yeah,
• 19:37
  Speaker 1: unless you're you know, your hobby shopping and that's you
• 19:39
  Speaker 1: better have the money. But like that, so again that
• 19:42
  Speaker 1: that level, and then also the cost of some of
• 19:43
  Speaker 1: the things that are collectibles. Women do not did not
• 19:46
  Speaker 1: for the longest time, have the disposable income but to
• 19:48
  Speaker 1: do so or we're allowed to have a disposable income
• 19:52
  Speaker 1: to do so. So that has changed vastly. And then
• 19:56
  Speaker 1: you have boys who get all the toys from jump
• 19:58
  Speaker 1: from like small cars that they get as they're growing older,
• 20:02
  Speaker 1: but then they collect actual cars. I'm not collecting groceries.
• 20:06
  Speaker 2: I mean, don't get me.
• 20:07
  Speaker 1: Wrong, I love food, but that's right, like I said,
• 20:10
  Speaker 1: it's kind of a hobby. But you know what I'm saying,
• 20:14
  Speaker 1: like that level of like nurdering what you see and
• 20:16
  Speaker 1: what you don't. Again, this whole premise of like heteronormative
• 20:20
  Speaker 1: idea of the household is that the wife is at
• 20:22
  Speaker 1: home cooking. You come home from the man comes home
• 20:25
  Speaker 1: from work, gets given a beer, and he gets to
• 20:27
  Speaker 1: sit down and watch his TV or go to his
• 20:29
  Speaker 1: man cave or whatever whatnot, which I really hate those
• 20:32
  Speaker 1: phrases to continue with their hobby while she is prepping
• 20:35
  Speaker 1: your food and getting the house clean or whatever it is.
• 20:38
  Speaker 1: And because a lot of the households still uphold that
• 20:40
  Speaker 1: even though now that women have the job as well,
• 20:43
  Speaker 1: in that heteronormative idea, you've lost lost a lot of love.
• 20:48
  Speaker 1: Things get taken away from you, whether it's because you're tired,
• 20:51
  Speaker 1: whether it's because you're traumatized by something, or whether it's
• 20:55
  Speaker 1: because you're told it's not for you. Like things can
• 20:59
  Speaker 1: take it away, And I think that's more likely to
• 21:00
  Speaker 1: happen with women than it is with men.
• 21:03
  Speaker 2: Yeah, that's a great point because a lot of women's toys,
• 21:07
  Speaker 2: especially are very like you're a mom, you have to
• 21:11
  Speaker 2: take care of this baby, or like your mom, you
• 21:13
  Speaker 2: have to go cook or something like. And I enjoyed
• 21:17
  Speaker 2: some of those toys when I was a kid, But
• 21:18
  Speaker 2: for sure, I bet when you get older and you're
• 21:22
  Speaker 2: actually doing those things, you're like, you know what, I
• 21:25
  Speaker 2: don't want this.
• 21:26
  Speaker 1: I don't want this. Don't give me this anymore.
• 21:28
  Speaker 2: Because he's not a fun playtime thing.
• 21:31
  Speaker 1: Well, and then, like if you think about Barbie America
• 21:34
  Speaker 1: Ferrera's character, she works at the Barbie company, she's doing designs,
• 21:38
  Speaker 1: and she's doing these things, but by the time she
• 21:40
  Speaker 1: gets home, she's taking care of her kid and cleaning
• 21:42
  Speaker 1: the house, meaning this, like you don't have time because
• 21:45
  Speaker 1: like I'm thinking about drawing. It's one of those things
• 21:47
  Speaker 1: like people who are amazing at drawings, they quit because
• 21:50
  Speaker 1: they have other things to do, because you're not seen
• 21:52
  Speaker 1: as legitimate yea, even if you're talented.
• 21:57
  Speaker 2: Yeah, that's a good point too. I think that I
• 22:01
  Speaker 2: think the whole the time, and that can go beyond
• 22:07
  Speaker 2: just like what time is actually left in the day.
• 22:10
  Speaker 2: It could also just be like your stressed because you
• 22:12
  Speaker 2: had to do with all of this like patriarchy nonsense,
• 22:16
  Speaker 2: and you're too tired to do anything anymore.
• 22:18
  Speaker 1: I mean, for me, when I was working in the
• 22:21
  Speaker 1: world of DJJ and I don't get me wrong, now
• 22:24
  Speaker 1: I'm gonna haveb it, but like for the longest time,
• 22:26
  Speaker 1: I didn't do anything. I didn't do anything. After I
• 22:28
  Speaker 1: came home from work, I just stopped and I would
• 22:30
  Speaker 1: just sit and watch whatever I could and hope not
• 22:32
  Speaker 1: to move. Maybe I'll make something, but I'm done. I'm
• 22:35
  Speaker 1: like it was so done, whether it's on the road
• 22:38
  Speaker 1: all day, whether I'm still working, whether I'm thinking about
• 22:41
  Speaker 1: cases or whatnot. And then with that type of I
• 22:45
  Speaker 1: didn't have children to feed, I didn't have a you know,
• 22:48
  Speaker 1: a partner to care for necessarily, like there wasn't that
• 22:52
  Speaker 1: a dog, but like, you know, like that that's such
• 22:54
  Speaker 1: a whole thing. And so by the time you come home,
• 22:56
  Speaker 1: all you're ready to do is go to bed, like
• 22:59
  Speaker 1: essentially like sitting down until it's time for a bit
• 23:02
  Speaker 1: because you know you're so tired that you can don't
• 23:04
  Speaker 1: have that time.
• 23:06
  Speaker 2: Yeah, and women are more likely to do kind of
• 23:09
  Speaker 2: those empathetic draining jobs like that. And then like final note,
• 23:14
  Speaker 2: I love how these always get so much deeper than
• 23:16
  Speaker 2: I thought they would. Uh. I also just wondering knowledge
• 23:22
  Speaker 2: nerd culture has not had the greatest reputation when it
• 23:27
  Speaker 2: comes to women. I immediately think of Revenge of the
• 23:29
  Speaker 2: Nerds and which a joke was that this woman got
• 23:31
  Speaker 2: raped by a nerd. So it's I feel like there's
• 23:35
  Speaker 2: a there's a lot of damage that has been done
• 23:39
  Speaker 2: and a lot of that has remained. And I totally
• 23:42
  Speaker 2: understand why where I've heard like some of my friends
• 23:47
  Speaker 2: be like, oh, that's that's just dudes being this. I
• 23:53
  Speaker 2: don't want this, and that's fair. But also it is
• 23:57
  Speaker 2: changing and there is so much more and I think
• 23:59
  Speaker 2: that we should acknowledge that the nerd doesn't belong to
• 24:04
  Speaker 2: this one type. It doesn't look this one way. You're
• 24:08
  Speaker 2: a nerd. I am a huge nerd. Huge. I still
• 24:14
  Speaker 2: have my little ponies. I should give them away. It
• 24:17
  Speaker 2: would be so much nicer. I love them so much.
• 24:21
  Speaker 2: Why just don It's like a kid could play with them.
• 24:25
  Speaker 2: But I've always like.
• 24:26
  Speaker 1: See again, this is why women don't have collectibles.
• 24:29
  Speaker 2: That's true. We care. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding.
• 24:36
  Speaker 2: I'm not kidding, but you know what I mean. I
• 24:41
  Speaker 2: am generalizing. Well, all right, cheers to you, Samantha. Yes,
• 24:47
  Speaker 2: and if you have any thoughts about this, I would
• 24:49
  Speaker 2: love to hear about it. You can email us at
• 24:51
  Speaker 2: Stepani your mom step at iHeartMedia dot com. You can
• 24:54
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• 25:00
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• 25:07
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• 25:09
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• 25:12
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• 25:16
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• 25:19
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