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Don't Rush The Good Old days · The Nadia Chapman Show

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  There are seasons of life that we spend desperately trying to get through,
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  only to look back one day and then wish oh my gosh i wish i could go back to,
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  that year okay i wish i can go back in time,
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  and a lot of us move through life saying things like oh i can't wait for the
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  kids to get older i can't wait for school to be over if you're a student i can't
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  wait to reach that level if you're an athlete, or I can wait to get that promotion.
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  I can wait until this difficult season I'm in passes.
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  And listen, I completely understand some seasons of our life are exhausting.
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  Some are boring and repetitive, and some are painful.
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  Some feel like nothing more maybe than just a lot of responsibilities or uncertainty
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  or repetition, laundry, driving, deadlines, practice appointments,
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  dinner, figuring out what we're eating for dinner.
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  But what if life, what if the life that you keep trying to get through so badly
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  is also the life that you're going to miss one day?
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  Today, I want to give you just a little gentle reminder to,
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  slow down this year, this fall, not because every moment is necessarily just
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  so perfect and beautiful, not because you have to enjoy every second of your
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  life, and definitely not because you should pretend that the hard parts aren't hard.
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  Sometimes it's not all pink and rosy.
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  But just because this phase that you're in, whatever it looks like, is temporary.
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  All of it is temporary. And as you get older, you realize it more than ever.
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  The beautiful parts, the boring parts, the messy parts, whatever parts,
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  even the part that feel like they're going nowhere or they're never going to
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  end, one day they will. They will end.
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  And sometimes without realizing it, of course, we rush through the exact moments
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  of our lives that will eventually become the good old days.
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  When my children were little, and a lot of you can relate, I remember some of
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  those days feeling so long and so, so busy and so overwhelming.
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  Beautiful. I've always enjoyed being a mom. It's my greatest achievement.
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  I love every piece of it. I always say I could take 10 more kids. Give it to me.
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  But yeah, when your kids are little, and I'm sure you can relate,
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  it's loud, it's tiring, it's messy, there's lack of sleep, there's toys everywhere,
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  questions all the time, snacks to make, lunchboxes, homework,
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  the feeling that somebody always needs you for something.
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  And when you're in it, you don't always recognize it as a beautiful chapter of your life.
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  Of course, you know, it's beautiful, but it's so easy to feel overwhelmed and
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  looking forward to like, oh, well, when they're in that grade,
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  it's going to get easier.
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  Or after the end of the year, it's going to get easier. But,
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  you know, it's normal. You're tired. You're trying to keep everybody alive.
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  You're trying to get through just bedtime. That's a challenge.
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  And people tell you all the time, oh, enjoy every moment.
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  It goes so fast. I remember being in the Seninez Valley where I lived with my
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  son, my husband, and Nolan was maybe, I don't know, two, three months old.
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  And, you know, you're not sleeping much. We're renovating a house.
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  It's busy. I'm back to work.
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  And somebody's like, just enjoy. It goes by so fast. And I remember thinking,
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  wow, does it go by that fast? Really?
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  Now that I'm older, I tell other women the same thing.
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  You know, hold on to every little moment. It goes by so fast.
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  I'm now this older lady looking back at younger moms and say,
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  just enjoy, enjoy having them hold your hand.
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  Just seeing the toys all over the floor at the end of the day.
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  You know, you get older and nobody asked you to carry them and they don't reach
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  for your hand in the parking lot anymore.
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  And you're not packing little lunches or sitting beside them while they struggle
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  through their homework.
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  And you realize slowly that somehow the season that you thought would last forever
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  or for many more years ended without announcing itself.
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  And there wasn't a sign that says, all right, this is the last time you'll do,
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  X, Y, Z. It just kind of happened.
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  And that is true for so many phases of our lives.
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  I'm talking about parenting right now, but that goes for anything,
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  whether you're an athlete or you're going through college and,
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  you know, going through years and years of school, the school years that feel endless.
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  A lot of you are going through that right now until graduation comes.
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  The long practices, if you're an athlete, the early mornings,
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  athletes sometimes wish Oh, go away until the final competition,
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  until the last day that you compete, let's say.
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  They would give anything to experience one more ordinary training day with their teammates.
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  Maybe if you are in your 20s and you have roommates, you live in a tiny apartment
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  that you can't wait to leave until years later,
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  you remember how exciting it was to build that life with almost nothing,
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  and being with your friends and maybe sharing a room.
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  Or maybe you're starting a business. Maybe you're starting a business and it's
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  so hard that it's so complicated that maybe there's so much to learn.
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  And when you're doing everything yourself, it can be overwhelming and wondering,
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  okay, is anybody paying attention?
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  The years when maybe your whole family is under one roof.
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  One day that will end too. Your kids will go off to college.
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  Maybe the regular Sunday dinners that you take for granted. The phone calls
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  with your parents. Your parents will not always be there.
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  Think about the walks with your dog right now that you assume will always be
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  there waiting at the door.
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  We are always waiting for life to become something else.
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  And we think, we believe that we will finally be present when things calm down. But this is life, guys.
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  You know, when we have more money, I'm going to be happier. Or when I lose the
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  weight, or when the kids are older, or when the season ends,
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  or when the house is finished, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
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  But then we reach that goal. We get there, finally, and almost immediately we
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  start chasing the next thing.
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  The human brain, guys, is constantly scanning ahead.
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  It is always looking for what needs to be fixed, solved, avoided,
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  achieved, or prepared for.
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  And that ability helps us survive and grow. Of course, we become so freaking
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  focused on creating a better future.
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  Everything ahead of us needs to be better and stronger and perfect.
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  But then it pulls us out of the life happening right here.
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  We become so focused on creating a better future that we forget this moment
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  was once the future that we hoped for.
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  And maybe, I'm just saying, maybe that is the rider downer for today.
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  That we become so focused on creating a better future that we forget that this
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  moment was once the future that we hoped for.
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  The moment, the things you have now, a long time ago, you wish that for yourself.
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  Maybe one day you once dreamed of having the family that now exhausts you.
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  And maybe a long time ago, you once wished for the opportunities that are now on your schedule.
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  You are allowed to be tired. You're allowed to feel exhausted.
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  You don't always have to love every single moment of your life. That's the difference.
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  Being present isn't pretending that everything is perfect because a lot of the
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  time things are not always perfect. It's simply...
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  Taking a time to recognize that, wow, this is my life today.
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  Messy or not, this season matters too. And this is the message I'm trying to get across today.
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  That even the hard season, if you are in a hard season right now,
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  hold something. It is shaping you. It is teaching you what matters.
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  It's showing you that you can survive.
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  Hard seasons are revealing. All seasons are revealing in your life.
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  You learn from every single phases of your life.
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  Like, for instance, you may never miss the pain, let's say, that you suffered
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  through a season, but you might miss who you were becoming while you moved through
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  that pain. See where this is going?
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  And the boring seasons, by the way, if you're in the boring season and things
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  are not moving very fast, that matters too.
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  Actually, I do believe that we underestimate ordinary days and ordinary season
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  just because nothing dramatic is really happening.
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  It's still amazing. Most of your life is made of ordinary days,
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  guys. Coffee in your favorite mug or driving somewhere to go practice.
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  Or if you're with your daughter sitting in traffic laughing at something super
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  stupid, these moments don't look necessarily important while they're happening.
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  And you don't immediately realize that a memory is being made.
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  But these are the moments that you will miss. Not always the big events.
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  Like the concerts and the trips and Christmas.
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  Sometimes it's the small things, the familiar things, the things that we just
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  assume would keep happening again and again. So maybe the goal today isn't to
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  stop planning for the future, obviously.
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  I love goals. I love planning ahead. I believe in growth, as you know,
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  and ambition and creating a life that excites you.
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  But we have to be careful not to sacrifice our entire present while building our future.
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  And I guess the message I'm trying to get across today is that you can work
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  towards what's next level without treating today like, oh, it's just a waiting
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  room. This today is not exciting, but you know, when I get to that level,
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  things will be much better.
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  And you can want more in life and still appreciate what already exists around you. All right.
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  Maybe today, it's your invitation to pause for 10 extra seconds before leaving
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  the house. Maybe you put down your phone while somebody is talking to you.
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  Maybe you stay for a whole sunset. Maybe you can take a picture,
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  but then put the phone away and experience who you're with, where you're at.
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  And this is very important, guys. maybe when life feels ordinary or stagnant,
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  just remind yourself that ordinary doesn't mean meaningless.
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  You don't need to freeze time. You don't have to hang on so tight either because
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  you are so afraid that life will change because life will change.
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  I just want to invite you to notice. Notice what is here in your life before it becomes what it was.
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  Because one day, trust me, You may look back at this version of your life,
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  the one that you're in right now and realize that, oh my gosh, there was so much good.
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  There was so much beauty and you couldn't see it because you were too damn busy
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  trying to reach the next thing.
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  These may not be the easiest days. All right. I don't know what you're going
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  through. They may not even feel like the best days.
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  I don't know. But they are your days.
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  They are happening once and you are inside them right now as we speak.
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  So take the trip, sit on the floor with the kids and play and go watch the practices
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  and call your parents and walk the dog maybe a little longer and celebrate the small win.
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  Have conversations and just laugh loudly. Take the imperfect picture.
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  And when life gives you one of those quiet, very boring, ordinary moments that
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  doesn't seem that important, just pause and take it all in.
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  You don't need to wait until it becomes a memory in the future to understand how valuable,
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  today is and maybe these are the good old days and maybe the real secret to
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  living without regret isn't creating the perfect life maybe it's learning to
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  be fully here for the imperfect days that you
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  already have so until next time.
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  Please guys slow down look around smell the roses even if there's dishes in
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  the sink and laundry waiting.
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  Your plans are unfinished.
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  Doesn't matter what's going through. Life doesn't look exactly the way you want
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  it to look. It doesn't matter.
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  This chapter will pass and one day you'll miss it. So make sure you are here for it.
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  Thanks for listening. I'm Nadia Chapman and this was the Nadia Chapman Show.