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Who is the greatest enemy to a narcissist? · The Mental Healness Podcast

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  So what is a narcissist greatest enemy?
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  Who is a narcissist greatest enemy?
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  I know who or what? But typically today we're gonna
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  talk about what is a narcissist greatest enemy.
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  I'm gonna do another video on who a narcissist greatest enemy
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  is. But what is a narcissist
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  greatest enemy? What is it?
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  What's what's the thing? One thing that is a narcissist
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  just just hate answer shame. We're going to dig deep into
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  that one today. Y'all we digging deep into shame
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  of narcissistic people. If you're new here, my name is
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  Lee Hammock. I'm a diagnosed narcissist and
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  welcome to another episode of the Narcissist Code.
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  A narcissist, greatest enemy. I know people go, yeah, I
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  already know what y'all Yeah, I know y'all.
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  Y'all think y'all know me? I know you.
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  I know when I first said a narcissist greatest enemy.
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  What is that? I know what you said.
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  Uneducated empath, a dark empath, a super empath, a flying
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  empath. You know, the flying empath is
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  the ones that they, they like, got eagle wings and they swoop
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  in and just attack the attack the narcissist from above.
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  Like a hawk. Like a little empathetic hawk.
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  Like, like empathetic, empathetic eagle.
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  Yeah, the bald empathetic eagle. But no, yeah, I do love y'all.
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  I appreciate y'all. I'm grateful for you.
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  If I haven't told y'all that I'm grateful for you.
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  I'm extremely grateful for you. And I just want to see y'all
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  win. Everybody ask me what?
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  Why you do this? Why you been doing this for so
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  long? I genuinely if you ever done a
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  one-on-one one-on-one with me over zoom, if you're part of my
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  support group or you talked to me, you met me in real life in
• 1:53
  one of my workshops. You know my energy is legit.
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  I really truly just want y'all to win.
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  So that being said, Narcissus greatest enemy.
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  It's shame y'all if y'all don't know and I hear this one time,
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  right? If y'all don't know who Alec
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  Murdoch, Alec Murdoch is, right? He's the person who inside the
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  old attorney in South Carolina that unalived his wife and his
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  own son to prevent his drug addiction and his drug abuse and
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  his stealing money from clients or whatever from being exposed
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  during his case. One of the lead attorneys had
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  him on the stand, right? They were in there was just
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  cross examining Alec Murdoch, right?
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  And they said, he said Mr. Murdoch, shame is a great
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  provocation for you, isn't it? And he was trying to, he's
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  calling Alec Murdoch A narcissist to his face, but he
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  couldn't use, you can't use the word narcissist in courtyard.
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  It just doesn't, it won't serve you.
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  You have to prove the behaviors. So he said, Mr. Murdoch, shame
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  is a great provocation for you, isn't it?
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  He said, what do you mean? He's like shame?
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  You don't like you don't like the world, you don't like
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  feeling shame. Shame activates you just like it
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  activates most narcissists. That that line inspired me.
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  Y'all, y'all ever hear me saying that?
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  That's from that line. I got to figure out what the
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  that attorneys name is. I can quote him correctly, but
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  little bit Alec Murdoch K he said shame is a great
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  provocation for you. Shame is the enemy of
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  narcissists. It is the greatest enemy that
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  exists for narcissists. And this is one of the videos
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  right here, y'all, that narcissists can watch too.
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  This is not just for impact. It's just not for survivors.
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  This is one of the videos that narcissists can watch as well
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  because I've had to battle shame my entire life.
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  I still battle it right now. I'm still dealing with it right
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  now on a huge basis. Shame does not go away.
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  Shame, y'all. Shame travels.
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  Shame. Shame got frequent flyer miles
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  and it is traveling far and wide.
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  I'm dead serious too. Shame narcissistic people.
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  Shame makes us feel like bad people.
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  Shame makes me feel like a bad person.
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  Whenever I feel shame, I feel like a bad person.
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  No matter what I've done, it could be something small.
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  I feel like a worst person on the planet, so I need to get rid
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  of it. And instead of just dealing with
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  a head on, most narcissists run away from it.
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  And they do. They do more shameful things to
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  cover up the original shame. Even if it's something small,
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  Alec Murdoch is. It wasn't small.
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  He was doing drugs and stealing. That wasn't small.
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  But he was so worried about his reputation being ruined that he
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  would rather unalive his wife and his son than to have exposed
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  that he was a drug addict thief. You know what I'm saying?
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  And it's not a legend that that was proven right.
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  That was proven. Maybe the drug stuff is alleged,
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  but he definitely unalive his wife and his son.
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  He he was there. But that way it happens.
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  Like they would do more shameful things to cover up the small
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  shame that people might that might be exposed.
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  It is insane. Shame activates us.
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  Think about, think about think about the worst thing the
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  narcissist in your life has done to you.
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  Why do they do it? You know what I'm saying?
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  What have they done? What's the worst thing that they
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  have done to you or put you through?
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  Then ask yourself what the hell activated them and made them
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  start acting acting a monkey like this in the first place.
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  And a lot of times the answer to that question is going to be
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  shame. Shame activated that
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  narcissistic, abusive partner of yours to do something horrible.
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  Like shame not only makes them do horrible things to cover up
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  other stuff, shame makes them do things to make them.
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  Shame is like say it's a monster.
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  The monster under the bed in a narcissist's life is shame.
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  That's the easiest way for me to put it.
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  The monster under the bed for narcissist is shame.
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  It is for me. I've had to I have instead of
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  instead of making it a shame monster, I've had to personalize
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  shame. I've had to make shame a person
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  because when you think of monster, you don't think of this
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  this. You know I'm I'm 6 like 6, two
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  and a half 63, right? I'm £250.
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  I might not look at y'all see y'all see from here up, but
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  shame ain't. If I make shame the same size as
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  me or smaller, I don't have No Fear of that.
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  Now, if shame is 9 foot tall, 700 lbs muscles bulging horns, a
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  Trident, a a a a large Pew Pew, a fire, fire, a flame for hair,
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  yeah, I'm be scared of that. Yeah, you have to put shame in
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  the light. Most narcissists run from shame
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  because shame, when the shame catches you, you feel horrible.
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  That's why you get a narcissist in jail.
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  That's why narcissists get worse in jail, because you can no
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  longer run from it. They were like, will jail chain
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  my narcissistic ex? No, they can't run from the
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  shame. They're going to.
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  They're going to try to blame everybody else, but they're
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  locked in a cell. I can imagine if thank Lord,
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  thank the Lord. I can imagine.
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  They feel like just being in a little room and they shut the
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  door on me and tell me I can't leave for years for the rest of
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  my life. Man, come on.
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  They're right there. Narcissists.
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  That's why I say most narcissists go to jail.
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  And they absolutely get worse because they can no longer run
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  from the shame. You scared of the dark?
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  So what? You in the cell?
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  You can't run. You can't go for.
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  You can't go for a run because you want to.
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  You can't get them in the morning and go for a run.
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  You can't. You can't go do a cold plunge.
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  You're in jail. You said what?
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  Narcissists get worse in jail. Shame is the greatest enemy of
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  narcissists. You want to hurt a narcissist?
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  Make them feel shame. Bring their shame.
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  Shine a light on their shame. Well, Lee, how do I make how?
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  Lee, how do I make a narcissist feel bad about themselves?
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  How do I how do I make the how do I make the how?
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  How do I hurt them? Shine a light on them like a
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  damn vampire. It really is like a vampire,
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  right? Shine the sun on them.
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  I'm sorry. Yeah, I'm stupid, but shame is a
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  great provocation. It really does activate their
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  narcissistic partner or ex or whoever it is.
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  You're you're a narcissistic kid.
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  Sometimes we have these narcissists.
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  We have adult children that are narcissists, right?
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  We have those and that right there, it does a lot.
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  It really does a lot. And it can make you feel, like I
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  said, you're a narcissistic partner.
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  Your whoever it is in your life, that shame is going to make them
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  lose their damn minds. That's why I'm so big on like
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  accountability. Like shame is the thing.
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  Shame is the ingredient or shame is the greatest enemy because it
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  makes them not want to be accountable.
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  Because if I if I take accountability for my actions,
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  that means I'm a bad person. That means shame is going to
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  attack me. That means shame.
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  My thoughts are going to eat me alive.
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  Shame is not real, y'all shame it for narcissist it is.
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  It's a real thing, but it's not a real monster.
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  You know what I'm saying? It's the it's the monster under
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  the bed with the red eyes. You ever seen Think about this
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  right here y'all? This is how I describe shame to
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  people. Magic being in the bed right?
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  As a kid you hear a scratching noise underneath the bed and you
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  like what the hell is that? And you hear a growl.
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  You like, what the hell You scared on you.
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  You're scared of what were you scared of?
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  What? Under what's underneath that
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  bed? What's what it could do to you,
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  right? Because you don't know what it
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  is. So one day you might get brave
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  and you can pick over the edge of the bed.
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  You look under the bed. You see red eyes.
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  You see a pair of red eyes staring back at you.
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  You get afraid of. Yeah, the box under the bed.
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  Shane, Shane under the bed. How do I get rid of it?
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  How do I get rid of it? So you avoid it.
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  You know what I'm saying? You avoid facing it head on
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  because if you face it head on, you got a flashlight and looked
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  under the bed, you will realize that those red eyes, though,
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  just a reflection. It's a cat, a little cat under
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  the bed, scratching, meowing, purring.
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  You know, it was a growl. It's a cat down, cat down there,
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  budding a cat down there. Like you're like, oh, it's still
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  scary. It's supposed to be scary
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  because you don't know what it is.
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  You have to face it head on. Most narcissists avoid shame
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  because they don't want to face it head on.
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  Because facing it head on means that I have to take
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  accountability for my actions, which means that my bad person
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  shame makes narcissists feel like they're a bad person, even
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  if the shame isn't real. Sometimes narcissists talk
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  themselves into feeling shame into into thinking they're going
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  to be ashamed if people find out.
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  Did I? This is why people, This is why
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  narcissistic people lie about stuff on dating apps.
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  They lie about their height, they lie about their weight,
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  they lie about other things about their life because they
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  feel like if you know the real thing, if you find out the real
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  thing, you're going to feel shame.
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  You know what I'm saying? They'd be lying because they
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  don't want to feel shame. They don't get held accountable.
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  Hey, your dating profile said you were 6-8, Lee.
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  Oh, I want to be 6. You see what I'm saying?
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  How stupid that sounds right there.
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  It's shame. Well, how the hell do we get to
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  not feel ashamed? You can't do it for them.
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  They have to go to therapy and face the shame.
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  They have to see that shame is a person and not a monster.
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  Shame is a person that looks just like them.
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  Shame is their doppelganger. Shame is their inner child
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  afraid. That's why that's why they have
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  so many fears, right? That's how we have, that's why
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  we have so many adult fears because we didn't, we didn't
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  attack them as children, right? Some of this stuff, some of the
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  stuff that we feel ashamed of getting instilled from us from
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  by our parents. You get ashamed for drinking,
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  you get ashamed for having a girlfriend.
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  You get ashamed for having a boyfriend.
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  You get ashamed for doing this. You get ashamed for getting to
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  be. You get ashamed for be wetting
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  the bed. You get ashamed for this shame
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  for scary to the dark. You get ashamed for this type of
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  stuff. You don't deal with it.
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  Shame starts early and it grows. It grows.
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  It grows, boy, it grows with you.
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  I like I said, shame is going to keep growing until it's tackled,
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  and most people are not going to tackle it because it's painful.
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  Let's keep it real. Shame is a painful thing to
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  attack. Shame is a painful thing to deal
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  with, but shame is the greatest enemy of most narcissistic
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  people because it activates them when they think they're going to
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  be ashamed of something or the people going to shame them for
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  something. They they going to, they go on
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  the defensive. They do whatever it takes to
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  defend themselves or to make to make the shame go away, or at
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  least to bury the shame in a shallow grave.
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  You see what I'm saying? They take the shame and they try
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  to hide it and bury, bury it in a shallow grave, just like Alec
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  Murdoch, the Alec Murdoch Murdoch did.
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  He took his shame, try to hide his shame in a shallow grave by
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  unaliven his wife and his son, right?
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  But guess what happened? When you think you're burying
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  something, sometimes you plant it and it grows, it grows.
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  It becomes worse because he is that he thought he was burying
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  his shame because he unaloged his wife and son and they bought
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  him some time for the drugs and the money stuff, the money theft
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  and stuff like that. Because what happened after they
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  got into his son's phone, they found out that his son had put a
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  Snapchat video indicating that Alec Murov was at the scene of
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  the crime and not where he said he was at.
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  You see what I'm saying? That's what shame does right
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  there. There was shame.
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  The shame activates narcissistic people.
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  It makes them do that type of stuff.
• 13:09
  Anyway, Joe, they have a ride with me to the end of this
• 13:11
  video. If you haven't already, check
• 13:13
  out Mental illness.net for all things Lee Hammock.
• 13:17
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• 14:02
  later. Peace.