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Transcript

MANIC MEDITATION · LOLwithMariandJohn.com

• 0:32
  That's corny the little music box we've only just begun to live.
• 1:13
  You keep starting early. I'm like, where are you?
• 1:18
  We're meditating. We're meditating. This is for chilling. Are you ready?
• 1:22
  Yes. Let's try that again because that wasn't fucking chilling.
• 1:25
  Here we go. Okay. All right. All right. I'm sorry. Let's bring the energy down.
• 1:29
  This is a meditation form. Hallelujah.
• 2:01
  But if you did it, Rock, wouldn't it be...
• 3:09
  Welcome. Okay, that took a minute. Oh, yeah.
• 3:18
  Woo-boo! Woo-boo! Woo-boo!
• 3:23
  Woo-boo! You ever walked into a room and your friends were all stoned and they
• 3:28
  was chilling like in the apartment you used to live in when you went to college?
• 3:32
  Or not, but you had like eight roommates and some of them were sleeping on like
• 3:36
  mattresses on the floor and shit like that.
• 3:39
  And you'd come in and they had just gotten really stoned and,
• 3:42
  you know, they found the drums and the bells and some maracas and some chicky chicky.
• 3:46
  And they were sitting there like jam. Jam sessions. Right.
• 3:52
  We did a lot of those in Flagstaff. Oh, yeah. Well, there was a lot of pot being
• 3:57
  smoked. Yeah, that's true.
• 3:59
  Pot and beer. I remember that.
• 4:07
  Ooh, I,
• 4:14
  can hear that. Really loud. Oh, is that loud? Yeah. Oh, I'm sorry.
• 4:18
  My ears are very... There was always that person. Usually a dude in the corner
• 4:22
  with something that was just... It was just like...
• 4:24
  He was just gone on it, you know what I mean? Like... Yeah.
• 4:31
  And stuck on it.
• 4:39
  Wow, that's irritating. Right? Okay, yeah. What else did we get? Oh, chica, chica.
• 4:49
  Makes me want to talk like this.
• 4:58
  I
• 5:03
  Feel like we reverted to five years old. Five years old. What the hell are we doing?
• 5:08
  We're desperate. But that was fun. We're lost and desperate.
• 5:13
  Yeah. Well, I know. We're desperate for attention. It's that last burst of energy
• 5:19
  before we die. We're just going, you know what? Fuck it. Yeah. Why not? We're here.
• 5:24
  We're clear. We're getting used to it.
• 5:27
  Yeah. Woo. Dang. Amen. Meditating, huh? Meditating. Yeah. That's much needed.
• 5:33
  Probably do more of that.
• 5:35
  Remember that crying thing? We have this thing that we do when it gets really,
• 5:39
  really stressful, where we do like a fake cry, and we just like, it's like a, um.
• 5:44
  The primal. The primal cry, like, where you just fake cry, and it's weird,
• 5:49
  because after like 10 or 15 minutes, you feel like, you feel like you've had
• 5:53
  a really good cry, like you're cleansed, it washes, you just sit there, you just go, ah.
• 6:36
  I feel better already. I'm not done yet. Sorry. Okay.
• 6:46
  The air is like...
• 6:55
  Why speak?
• 6:57
  I don't know. What do you got to say? I mean, seriously. Thirsty. What's it? Thirsty.
• 7:05
  I'm thirsty. I'm thirsty. That's a metaphor.
• 7:10
  Right. I love that word, metaphor. Metaphor. Metaphor. Metamorphosis.
• 7:20
  Oh, I, I, I. It's been one of those weeks, huh?
• 7:27
  Busy, busy, busy. Yeah, really busy, but it's been fun. It's been a lot of fun.
• 7:32
  People coming over, visiting. Yeah.
• 7:35
  Started a new opening on the podcast that we're working on.
• 7:38
  Oh, God. It's going to be kind of cool. I hope it works out.
• 7:41
  Looking good so far and sounding good, too. So I'm going to focus more on what
• 7:47
  we know, which is who are the people around your motherfucking ass, your community.
• 7:53
  In your hood. Seems to be coming up a lot. Yeah. In your hood. In your hood.
• 8:01
  In your neighborhood. In your vecindario. Here are those people in your neighborhood.
• 8:07
  Your. Barrio.
• 8:11
  Your village. Your village. Your village. I live in your village.
• 8:15
  I live in my village. I live in my village. Would you like to see my village?
• 8:21
  I beg your pardon. It's dirty if you want it to be. Well. What does that mean?
• 8:27
  What does that mean? I know. What does it mean? It's dirty if you want it to be.
• 8:32
  That just sounds so nasty. Yeah. It's dirty if you want it to be.
• 8:38
  It does sound pretty nasty. Nasty.
• 8:41
  Nasty girl. I have made a judgment call. Don't mean a thing. It is nasty.
• 8:48
  Really not. Nasty girls. But it's fun to call it that. Don't mean a thing.
• 8:51
  As long as you're playing and you're not serious, don't mean nasty girls.
• 8:54
  Dance, dance, dance. Don't mean a thing.
• 8:58
  And also that bad girls.
• 9:02
  Talking about bad girls.
• 9:05
  Talking about bad girls. Are you a bad girl?
• 9:13
  Are you? I was. Are you a bad girl? I was.
• 9:17
  Oh, my God. Not anymore. I'm Miss Goody Two-Shoes. Yeah, because the knees hurt
• 9:21
  and, you know, the back isn't doing that great.
• 9:24
  The reason I'm not a bad girl is because I cannot walk in pumps anymore.
• 9:29
  Yeah, or, you know, lift the legs up real. Or lift them up at all.
• 9:34
  I can't even kneel down for very long, so forget being the bad girl.
• 9:37
  Yeah. Now we're little Goody Two-Shoes.
• 9:40
  I go to a party and I'm standing there and everything, And after like 10 minutes,
• 9:44
  I'm like, hey, is there somewhere I can sit down?
• 9:47
  Or else. Or else. Or go to the bathroom. Andale. I got to go pee pee right now.
• 9:51
  And when I'm at this age, I cannot wait, okay? Because I don't want to pee myself.
• 9:55
  Oh, and it happens many times.
• 9:59
  Or else you have to go out wearing your Depends.
• 10:05
  We haven't gotten there yet, but man, it's around the corner.
• 10:09
  Look and photo. Hopefully not. Maybe they'll sponsor us.
• 10:13
  That would be cool. That would be cool. Just in case, you know.
• 10:17
  We could do commercials for Depends. Staying active.
• 10:21
  Woo-hoo. Loving life. And now I can just stand there and pee myself in public
• 10:26
  and nobody knows the better. and smile.
• 10:29
  And it smells nice and fresh.
• 10:33
  So they say. It's better in the winter because it warms you up.
• 10:36
  In the summer, it might get uncomfortable because it gets sticky.
• 10:39
  Oh, and then can you imagine carrying all that hooves?
• 10:43
  Makes your ass look great. The
• 10:44
  extra padding makes your ass look great in your favorite pair of jeans.
• 10:48
  Thank you, Depends. Thank you. Thank you.
• 10:52
  Thank you for taking care. Yeah, right? Looking forward to the days when I can
• 10:56
  finally wear my first Pair of Depends. Yes. Woo!
• 11:02
  I'm embarrassing, but yes. Woo! It doesn't have to be. I'll get a big J-Lo booty.
• 11:07
  Oh, and you know what I was thinking about today?
• 11:10
  What? You know those cheese holes that we get where, like, a word just,
• 11:15
  like, goes, bing, I'm gone.
• 11:17
  A lot. Yeah, and then a name, bing, just chooosh. Done.
• 11:22
  And then you're sitting there going, wow, this is happening.
• 11:25
  I mean, sometimes you do. Sometimes it happens so frequently.
• 11:29
  I mean, I'm not even paying attention to it that much anymore. Oh, really? Yeah.
• 11:33
  But then every once in a while, I'm like, be honest, look in the mirror.
• 11:37
  I mean, the dementia is coming. The dementia is coming. I don't know if it's that bad.
• 11:42
  Because if you don't know what's going on, are you suffering?
• 11:47
  Well, it depends on how you get by, you know, on a daily basis in your life.
• 11:53
  If the nursing home sucks, is it really going to matter if you don't remember?
• 11:59
  I don't know. I don't know because I haven't been there. I guess at that moment
• 12:02
  it would. Yeah, but we can imagine.
• 12:05
  Yeah, I know. We can be creative. Yeah.
• 12:10
  Okay. I place myself and you together. Take my hand.
• 12:15
  And you together at the retirement home in the future. What do we see?
• 12:22
  What do we see?
• 12:28
  I think it would matter at the moment.
• 12:33
  I think in the long term, you don't remember.
• 12:37
  So like a dog, you hurt your foot yesterday and today you have to wear a thing
• 12:43
  to protect it because since you don't know what's going on with it,
• 12:46
  you're going to hurt it again.
• 12:48
  Yeah, like they put the cone over the head. Yeah, and then you can't lick your
• 12:52
  own tingle tingle down there. Yeah, which they do all the time.
• 12:55
  Twinkie licks his ting-ting-ting, ting-ting-ting, ting-ting-ting,
• 12:59
  ting-ting, ting-ting. Twinkie licks his ting-ting-ting as much as he can, I guess, is frequently.
• 13:04
  Because Lord knows we can't get down there anymore to lick nothing.
• 13:07
  I don't know if I ever could.
• 13:10
  Hey, we mentioned this before. Is it a benefit to be able to take out your teeth
• 13:15
  when you're going down on someone? Yeah.
• 13:17
  I would think so. I mean, I don't have a penis. You haven't tried it?
• 13:21
  Oh, man. You haven't tried it? No.
• 13:24
  Why not? Because I haven't. Because you have not had a victim yet.
• 13:28
  Someone to suck their blood.
• 13:33
  I do not have someone to suck his blood. I don't want to suck their blood, but I used to do it a lot.
• 13:40
  It's a metaphor. I know, I know. Don't be so sensitive. I'm not, I'm not.
• 13:45
  No, I would be sensitive. I want to be more sensitive. No, you're delicate. More sensitive.
• 13:50
  But, no, you know what? I'm at the point in my life where I don't really want to do that.
• 13:57
  You don't want to have sex? I want to have sex, but I don't really want to suck somebody's dick. Oh.
• 14:03
  Or maybe you just haven't met the right person. Because when I meet the right
• 14:07
  person, I'm like, oh, yeah, ha, ha, watch that sword open up.
• 14:12
  You know what I mean? You just can't hip it. But I don't know.
• 14:16
  I guess that could happen. So you're saying your fire is not so great?
• 14:20
  Not in a second. You're not stoking the fire in the oven anymore?
• 14:25
  Oh, yeah. Keeping it warm, keeping it ready? Oh, yeah, absolutely.
• 14:28
  Because you got to, you know, because I'm not giving up.
• 14:32
  I know. I just, you know. I mean.
• 14:35
  I'm like, it's going to be over soon, so I don't know.
• 14:39
  Listen, it's sad. You're just enjoying it. No, it's sad. I have to,
• 14:42
  if I'm going to, say, perform oral on someone, I have to have him get up on
• 14:47
  a stepping stool so he's at a certain height because mama can't kneel down anymore.
• 14:52
  Or you can wait and eat, but then getting up is the problem.
• 14:58
  But it's pretty cool. It's amazing. It's still fun. I mean, it's kind of like
• 15:01
  being, I don't know, like you can't move anything.
• 15:05
  So you have to make arrangements. I mean, how do people in wheelchairs have
• 15:08
  sex? Because they're doing it. Yeah, that's true.
• 15:11
  I guess you just have to make special arrangements to do what you can,
• 15:15
  as much or as little as you can. Yeah, I mean, there's got to be— But you can still do it.
• 15:19
  You've got to communicate. Girl, girl, listen. It would be sad to leave this
• 15:24
  earth without at least knowing if it's true that it is better to give a blowjob without teeth.
• 15:32
  Because then think about it. Because then you can— I was trying to convince
• 15:35
  me. Think about it. You can bite down and not hurt them.
• 15:40
  That's true. They will probably love that.
• 15:44
  Well, you know, I used to be able to do it with when I had teeth,
• 15:49
  and I used to, like, bite down ever so gently.
• 15:53
  Okay, I'm getting too personal here. Is there such a thing, though?
• 15:57
  I mean, haven't I already pushed that wall down? Yeah, that's true.
• 16:01
  But not for you, because I know you're a delicate flower. I am a very cute flower.
• 16:05
  And I am as well. I am as well. Just, you know, I've also, I'm a delicate flower
• 16:11
  who's been deflowered a lot in the past month. A lot, a lot.
• 16:14
  Not back there. I'm not using back there right now, you guys.
• 16:17
  It's just too much work, you know.
• 16:19
  No one's playing on my back porch. You've got to do a lot. It's too much work
• 16:23
  to keep it clean. It's too much work to prepare the backyard for a party.
• 16:27
  I'm not that, no, no. The mouth is good. Brush the teeth, cargo, you know, it's good.
• 16:32
  You've got to get up on a stepladder, though. stepstool, something that elevates
• 16:35
  you and puts your crotch right at face level. Otherwise, forget it.
• 16:38
  It's too much work. I can't bend down. I can't reach up.
• 16:42
  But if you do that, if you do that, things can go well. And I'm telling you,
• 16:46
  there's a piece of furniture I found that's perfect. It's right there in that closet.
• 16:49
  And you can just bring it out. And when you find someone to just stand him up
• 16:53
  on that piece of furniture, he'll be at the perfect height.
• 16:56
  And then, and then, what you do to make it even further exciting is you play
• 17:01
  porno on this television and have them stand in that corner and watch porno
• 17:06
  while you're doing it, they will be in heaven forever.
• 17:10
  I'm sure. Okay. So once they find out you're an old lady that's willing to do
• 17:15
  that, they don't see old lady anymore.
• 17:18
  They see fun, sexy partner to have fun with.
• 17:21
  There will be no long term. It's like a dating thing. No.
• 17:26
  No, I know it's not dating. It's purely sexual. Well, yeah.
• 17:29
  It's like the way I consider it is like I am the latest and greatest toy. Use me.
• 17:36
  And, you know, if I find a guy that's— That's interesting. Right?
• 17:40
  Yeah, definitely. Hell yeah. Listen, it's a mindset thing.
• 17:43
  I'll do this. I'll do that. I'll do waka, waka, waka.
• 17:48
  Parts of the machinery are working. Use them. Well, yeah. I mean,
• 17:52
  you got to use what you got. Yeah. And then you just adjust.
• 17:56
  You adjust for your limitations. You know? True.
• 18:00
  They have to take this position. Like you said, if you're in a wheelchair or if you got one leg.
• 18:04
  Put them up on a stepladder, whatever you got to do. Whatever you got to do. To have fun.
• 18:13
  Oh, yeah. Musical instruments.
• 18:17
  Okay, this is your commercial break.
• 18:22
  Excuse me.
• 19:05
  Bye.