Latest / Your Hope-Filled Perspective with Dr. Michelle Bengtson podcast / How to Overcome Rejection and Abandonment with God’s Love

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How to Overcome Rejection and Abandonment with God’s Love · Your Hope-Filled Perspective with Dr. Michelle Bengtson podcast

• 0:02
  Speaker 1: Life audio, Does it ever seem like God loves other
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  Speaker 1: people more than He loves you? Maybe it looks like
• 0:10
  Speaker 1: everything goes their way or their families are all put together,
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  Speaker 1: not a prodigal insight, and everyone enjoys each other. We, however,
• 0:19
  Speaker 1: see our lives as a hot mess, unanswered prayers everywhere,
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  Speaker 1: and trouble after trouble. When we equate blessing and favor
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  Speaker 1: with love, we can begin to feel rejected and abandoned
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  Speaker 1: by God when we don't feel blessed or favored by him. Today,
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  Speaker 1: we are going to be talking about overcoming rejection and
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  Speaker 1: abandonment with God's love. Almost all of us carry rejection
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  Speaker 1: and abandonment because most of us have experienced someone walking away,
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  Speaker 1: excluding us or making us feel like we don't belong,
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  Speaker 1: and those wounds run deep. They're not just hurt feelings.
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  Speaker 1: They can shape how we see ourselves, how we relate
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  Speaker 1: to others, and how we imagine and God sees us. Today,
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  Speaker 1: we want to walk into the truth that Christ's love
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  Speaker 1: actually heals these hurt places. Welcome to your hope filled perspective,
• 1:09
  Speaker 1: where it's always our goal to restore hope, renew minds,
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  Speaker 1: and empower listeners to live in their God given identity.
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  Speaker 1: I'm your host, doctor Michelle Bankson Forard, certified clinical neuropsychologist, author, speaker,
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  Speaker 1: and fellow journer in this trek towards emotional and spiritual wellness.
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  Speaker 1: I'm delighted you've decided to spend a few minutes with
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  Speaker 1: your week with us. Today we are going to be
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  Speaker 1: talking about how to overcome rejection and abandonment with God's love.
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  Speaker 1: We'll dive into that right after this brief word from
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  Speaker 1: our sponsor. Abandonment and rejection can be traced back to
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  Speaker 1: the Garden of Eden, not because God sent Adam and
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  Speaker 1: Eve away, but to the moment when Adam and Eve
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  Speaker 1: chose to reject God's way for their own understanding. Since then,
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  Speaker 1: humanity has applied their own understanding of love to how
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  Speaker 1: they think God should love them. Love isn't about wants,
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  Speaker 1: but it's about what's best. Does this make it hard
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  Speaker 1: to understand when someone gets what we want? Yes? But
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  Speaker 1: can we learn to trust God's heart for us? Double?
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  Speaker 2: Yes.
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  Speaker 1: Rejection isn't just a moment, It's a story our hearts
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  Speaker 1: can start telling us, and often on repeat. It says, See,
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  Speaker 1: You're not enough. See people always leave. See You're not
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  Speaker 1: worth choosing. The rejection narrative comes from the oldest human experiences,
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  Speaker 1: a parent who wasn't present, a spouse who checked out emotionally,
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  Speaker 1: a friend group that stopped inviting us, or a church
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  Speaker 1: that didn't know what to do with our pain. Scripture
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  Speaker 1: tells us in Jeremiah thirty one, verse three, the Lord
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  Speaker 1: appeared to us in the past, saying, I have loved
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  Speaker 1: you with an everlasting love. I have drawn you with
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  Speaker 1: unfailing kindness. It can be so hard to remember God's
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  Speaker 1: everlasting love when we feel rejected or abandoned by God.
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  Speaker 1: Joining me for today's conversation is my co host, Jessica
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  Speaker 1: van Rukeel. Welcome back, jess.
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  Speaker 3: Thank you.
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  Speaker 2: I am glad that we are able to bring this
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  Speaker 2: topic and talk about it.
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  Speaker 1: I personally have experienced rejection when I walked into, say,
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  Speaker 1: a social situation where I was can I say clearly
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  Speaker 1: not part of the in group or the popular group,
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  Speaker 1: And boy, how it dampened my spirit. It left me
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  Speaker 1: feeling alone. I felt disconnected from people, and I even
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  Speaker 1: started to question God, why did you make me this way?
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  Speaker 1: If I can't fit in with this crowd? Like, what
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  Speaker 1: good am I? Have you ever experienced a time when
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  Speaker 1: you felt abandoned by God?
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  Speaker 3: Yeah?
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  Speaker 2: I have. I'm I'm resonating with what you just said
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  Speaker 2: and shared your own story because I don't.
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  Speaker 3: I've never been part of the in crowd, popular crowd.
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  Speaker 3: I'm just gonna say, I don't know what that's like.
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  Speaker 2: But I have felt abandoned and rejected by God. It
• 4:07
  Speaker 2: was during the birth of my third child, and that
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  Speaker 2: labor turned into it was it was just it was
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  Speaker 2: too long, the staff was lacked compassion, and everything that
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  Speaker 2: I prayed for to happen didn't happen, and I felt
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  Speaker 2: so abandoned by God. In that moment, I was in
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  Speaker 2: such physical pain, emotional pain, and I just felt like
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  Speaker 2: God walked out of the room and I was left
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  Speaker 2: there alone. And that was twenty one years ago, and
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  Speaker 2: I still remember what that felt like, and so I'm
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  Speaker 2: glad that we can talk about how that feels today
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  Speaker 2: for our listeners. Michelle, what kinds of things did you
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  Speaker 2: tell yourself to help you overcome abandonment and rejection with
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  Speaker 2: Christ's love?
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  Speaker 1: It took a long time, and in all transparency, this
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  Speaker 1: is something I have to keep relearning remembering because let's
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  Speaker 1: face it, as humans, we want to be accepted, We
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  Speaker 1: want to be seen as valued and worthy. We even
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  Speaker 1: want to be esteemed, right. That was part of Eve's problem.
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  Speaker 1: She wanted to have as much knowledge as God and
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  Speaker 1: be like him. And in your story and in mind
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  Speaker 1: just I can see a common thread, and that is
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  Speaker 1: we often feel rejected or abandoned by God when our
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  Speaker 1: situation didn't go the way we hoped, and so I
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  Speaker 1: think we start to equate those disappointments with God's lack
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  Speaker 1: of favor. And I've had to realize as I've grown
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  Speaker 1: and matured, and it's not been easy, but I'm just
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  Speaker 1: not going to be everyone's cup of tea, and everybody
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  Speaker 1: isn't mine. It's also been a learning process that my
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  Speaker 1: value or lack thereof, in someone else's eyes, doesn't determine
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  Speaker 1: my worth. It feels like it does in the moment,
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  Speaker 1: but it doesn't. And even those who know me the
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  Speaker 1: most really only know a small piece of me. But
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  Speaker 1: it's comforting to know that God knows me completely. What
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  Speaker 1: have you found has helped you overcome?
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  Speaker 2: I have found that, And I'm thinking back to that
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  Speaker 2: hospital room twenty one years ago. Where my knowledge of
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  Speaker 2: what God said about how He's always with me and
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  Speaker 2: he'll never forsake me with what I experienced in the moment.
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  Speaker 2: They didn't jibe. They didn't match up.
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  Speaker 3: And so I.
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  Speaker 2: Thought, Okay, so if what I know in the Bible,
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  Speaker 2: if I say that it's true, what am I missing
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  Speaker 2: or why am I struggling to apply it to circumstances
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  Speaker 2: that again don't go my way? And so for me,
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  Speaker 2: one of the very very first steps and helping me
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  Speaker 2: overcome that feeling of rejection or abandonment by God was
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  Speaker 2: actually getting to know him better. And it was it
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  Speaker 2: was more about let me get to know his heart.
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  Speaker 2: Obviously I'm missing something.
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  Speaker 3: That's That's really what I needed to do.
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  Speaker 2: So I honestly just dove into scripture and I would
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  Speaker 2: sit with him and I would just talk to him,
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  Speaker 2: and I would accuse him and and I would express
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  Speaker 2: my anger and disappointment and my hurt. And he met
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  Speaker 2: me there in all of that mess and hurt and pain,
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  Speaker 2: and as I continued to be gut level honest with him,
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  Speaker 2: he stayed the same. He met me with grace and kindness,
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  Speaker 2: and he showed me maybe where my thoughts were leading
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  Speaker 2: me away from him, and he gently and lovingly steered
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  Speaker 2: me back to him. And so for me, what really
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  Speaker 2: helped me overcome was getting to know him so that
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  Speaker 2: he was in his rightful place in my heart, not
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  Speaker 2: my expectations, not my understanding of what blessing and favor is.
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  Speaker 3: It was to come to know that I can.
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  Speaker 2: Be fully, completely, one hundred percent blessed and favored by God,
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  Speaker 2: and my life is a hot mess, that my hot
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  Speaker 2: mess doesn't change the fact that I'm blessed and I'm favored.
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  Speaker 1: I think we tend to equate favor and blessing with
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  Speaker 1: earthly outcome. Yeah, and that's where we go wrong. But
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  Speaker 1: what you did by diving into the scripture is a
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  Speaker 1: hard thing to do when you feel rejected and abandoned
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  Speaker 1: by God, because at its root, it requires we get
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  Speaker 1: over our own pride yep, and realize that maybe there's
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  Speaker 1: something we don't know that we need to know.
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  Speaker 2: And I just want to add just a PostScript to
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  Speaker 2: that story, and I want people to know that it
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  Speaker 2: didn't happen in one day. That process took me almost
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  Speaker 2: two years. I would open my Bible and read and
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  Speaker 2: it was like it was dead to me, I would
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  Speaker 2: just read words and be like okay. But I persisted
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  Speaker 2: because I knew, I knew that the answer. I knew
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  Speaker 2: that the answer to all of my angst and all
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  Speaker 2: of my feelings was found in the word of God.
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  Speaker 2: So I persisted, and through that time I learned that
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  Speaker 2: that God is faithful when we are faithful and we
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  Speaker 2: just keep pressing in God's working behind the scenes, he
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  Speaker 2: is making a way when we can see no way.
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  Speaker 2: So I want, I really want our listeners to know
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  Speaker 2: that that that journey for me, helping me overcome was
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  Speaker 2: not did not happen in a day, a week, a month.
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  Speaker 2: It happened over a course of two years. So, friends,
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  Speaker 2: we're going to continue our conversation about how to overcome
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  Speaker 2: rejection and abandonment with Christ's love after we take this
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  Speaker 2: brief break for a word from our sponsor.
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  Speaker 1: Welcome back to your Hope Field perspective. Today we are
• 10:02
  Speaker 1: talking about how to overcome rejection and abandonment with Christ's love.
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  Speaker 1: It's that time of year when love seems to be commercialized,
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  Speaker 1: but it's so important that we remember that Christ's love
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  Speaker 1: isn't for sale. He already paid the price. His love
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  Speaker 1: is offered freely. Yet just I tend to see two
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  Speaker 1: different responses to Christ's love. It's either considered too good
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  Speaker 1: to be true and therefore must be false, or he's
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  Speaker 1: treated like a vending machine, like we put good behavior
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  Speaker 1: in and we expect to get exactly what we want
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  Speaker 1: in return. And before the break, you and I were
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  Speaker 1: both sharing about situations and circumstances where we felt rejected
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  Speaker 1: or abandoned, and we equated that to rejection or abandonment,
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  Speaker 1: even from God because our situation wasn't what we wanted.
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  Speaker 1: So either response can lead to feeling rich at or abandoned.
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  Speaker 1: So let's turn our conversation to how do we overcome
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  Speaker 1: rejection and abandonment with God's love at the center of
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  Speaker 1: that equation.
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  Speaker 2: Well, one of the first things we can do is
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  Speaker 2: remember Jesus Christ understands rejection. He came to show us
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  Speaker 2: the way back to the Father, and he said in
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  Speaker 2: John chapter six, verse thirty eight, for I've come down
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  Speaker 2: from heaven not to do my own will, but the
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  Speaker 2: will of him who sent me. You see, the Father's
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  Speaker 2: will led him to die on a cross, lay in
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  Speaker 2: a tomb for three days, and rise again so that
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  Speaker 2: we could be reconciled to God and to know his
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  Speaker 2: love for us again. Just as his father was rejected,
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  Speaker 2: Christ knew that he would be rejected.
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  Speaker 1: That reminds me of Isaiah fifty six, verse three, which
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  Speaker 1: says he was despised and rejected by humanity, by mankind,
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  Speaker 1: a man of suffering and familiar with pain, like one
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  Speaker 1: from whom people it hid their faces. He was despised,
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  Speaker 1: and we held him in low esteem. So that's such
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  Speaker 1: a good reminder to us that Jesus knows what it
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  Speaker 1: was like to be abandoned by his friends. He asked
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  Speaker 1: his friends if they could just stay awake with him
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  Speaker 1: in the garden, and yet they fell asleep. I can
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  Speaker 1: only imagine that feeling of rejection and abandonment in Jesus.
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  Speaker 1: He was misunderstood by his own family, and he was
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  Speaker 1: betrayed by one of his closest friends.
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  Speaker 2: Yeah, and later in John chapter six, people walked away
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  Speaker 2: from him because they didn't like what he said.
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  Speaker 1: Yeah.
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  Speaker 2: I mean, I've had that happen to me, and I
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  Speaker 2: get all huffy about it. But Jesus had that happen
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  Speaker 2: and he didn't get huffy about it.
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  Speaker 1: Right, He had so much more patience for people than
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  Speaker 1: I do.
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  Speaker 2: And grace so a great model, right, what a great model.
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  Speaker 2: And even in his mostper hour, his disciples scatter, and
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  Speaker 2: one denied knowing him. And when he was on the cross,
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  Speaker 2: he cried out, my God, my God, why have you
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  Speaker 2: forsaken me? When he took the punishment of our sins
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  Speaker 2: rightfully deserved.
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  Speaker 3: So if you've ever felt unwanted, unseen, or left alone.
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  Speaker 2: Abandon I want you to remember that Jesus understands you
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  Speaker 2: are not alone.
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  Speaker 1: The second thing we can do to overcome rejection and
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  Speaker 1: abandonment is to renew our minds. Christ's love doesn't just
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  Speaker 1: comfort us, it actually redefines us. Rejection tends to tell
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  Speaker 1: us that we're unworthy. Christ tells us that we're chosen.
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  Speaker 1: Ephesians one says we're chosen before the foundation of the world.
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  Speaker 1: Can you imagine, before anyone had the chance to reject us,
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  Speaker 1: God declared that we were his.
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  Speaker 2: Yeah, and an abandonment says people leave, But God has said.
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  Speaker 3: Never will I leave you, Never will I forsake you.
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  Speaker 2: And in fact, the first of Deteronomy, chapter thirty one,
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  Speaker 2: verse six says, do not be afraid or terrified because
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  Speaker 2: of them.
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  Speaker 3: I have to tell you.
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  Speaker 2: I cannot tell you how many times I've been so
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  Speaker 2: afraid of people's rejection and abandonment that I lose all
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  Speaker 2: courage and common sense.
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  Speaker 1: And the fearing rejection or abandonment ahead of time re
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  Speaker 1: disposes us. We expect it, so we are more likely
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  Speaker 1: to unconsciously behave in a way that we will be
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  Speaker 1: rejected or abandoned. I think that's why Romans twelve to
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  Speaker 1: two is so powerful. I know we talk about this
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  Speaker 1: verse all the time, but it's such a life giving verse.
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  Speaker 1: It says, be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Basically,
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  Speaker 1: don't expect to be rejected and abandoned because God hasn't
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  Speaker 1: rejected and abandoned us. But our minds are so powerful
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  Speaker 1: and honestly, what they tell ourselves matters. Because your brain
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  Speaker 1: listens to your thoughts. When you think things like I
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  Speaker 1: can't handle this or I am loved, your brain treats
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  Speaker 1: that thought as important information. It begins to adjust your mood,
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  Speaker 1: your energy, and even your physical reactions based on what
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  Speaker 1: you're saying to yourself. So we need to slow down
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  Speaker 1: and pay attention to our thoughts and not believe every
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  Speaker 1: thought we have Furthermore, repeated thoughts build habits in the brain.
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  Speaker 1: Your brain is always rewiring itself. The question is what
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  Speaker 1: direction is it rewiring. When you think the same message
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  Speaker 1: again and again, your brain builds stronger neural pathways, so
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  Speaker 1: soon your brain can travel down that path faster and
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  Speaker 1: more automatically. And that's why negative thinking can become a pattern.
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  Speaker 1: But the good news is is that positive thinking can
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  Speaker 1: become one too. It's important that we remember our thoughts
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  Speaker 1: affect our body. Thoughts trigger chemical reactions. Stressful, self critical
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  Speaker 1: thoughts release stress hormones like cortisol. Encouraging hopeful thoughts release
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  Speaker 1: feel good chemicals like dopamine and serotonin, and these chemicals
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  Speaker 1: influence all sorts of things like your heart rate, your
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  Speaker 1: immune system, how well you sleep, and more. Your brain,
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  Speaker 1: though doesn't always separate imagination from reality. If you consistently
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  Speaker 1: picture failure, your brain prepares for danger, and if you
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  Speaker 1: imagine success, your brain gets ready to try. So what
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  Speaker 1: you focus on, your brain starts to expect. Basically, the
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  Speaker 1: messages you repeat become the beliefs you live by. Your
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  Speaker 1: thoughts aren't just background noise, they're actually instructions. Your brain follows.
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  Speaker 2: Wow, I am just so floored by this information. And
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  Speaker 2: every time you talk about this, I come back to Wow,
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  Speaker 2: I actually get to impact what's happening to me through
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  Speaker 2: remember paying attention to what my thoughts are. I can't
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  Speaker 2: tell you how many times where I'm grumpy at the
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  Speaker 2: end of the day and I start thinking, well, oh well,
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  Speaker 2: I suppose thinking bad thoughts, No wonder I'm grumpy, and
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  Speaker 2: it just it's marvelous.
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  Speaker 3: Our brain is marvelous.
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  Speaker 2: And I love how Scripture already knew that God already
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  Speaker 2: knew that he made us that way.
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  Speaker 1: So but you drew the connection. Yeah, yeah, Why am
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  Speaker 1: I feeling so bad?
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  Speaker 3: Yeah?
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  Speaker 1: Because I was thinking grumpy thoughts. But the trap comes, Jess,
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  Speaker 1: when we do things like scroll social media while we're
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  Speaker 1: standing in line at the grocery store. You and I
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  Speaker 1: have talked about this so many times, and we recently
• 17:49
  Speaker 1: had an episode on the podcast about us taking a
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  Speaker 1: social media reset because in situations like that, we're not
• 17:56
  Speaker 1: even mindful of what we're thinking, and we've just come
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  Speaker 1: out of all the holidays and that tendency to compare
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  Speaker 1: our family members grumpy faces and pictures to everybody else's happy, happy.
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  Speaker 1: So what you did was take a moment to think,
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  Speaker 1: why am I feeling this way? Well, because I was
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  Speaker 1: thinking this way. The problem comes because we don't do
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  Speaker 1: that often enough.
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  Speaker 2: Oh wow, friends, we are going to take a short
• 18:26
  Speaker 2: break for a word from our sponsor, but stick with
• 18:28
  Speaker 2: us to hear practical steps on how to overcome rejection
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  Speaker 2: and abandonment with Christ's love.
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  Speaker 1: Before the break, we talked about remembering that Jesus understands rejection.
• 18:45
  Speaker 1: We also talked about the importance of renewing our minds
• 18:48
  Speaker 1: and paying attention to what we're thinking. I want to
• 18:52
  Speaker 1: turn the conversation towards getting practical and share with our
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  Speaker 1: listeners and viewers how Jesus Christ loved actually heals the
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  Speaker 1: wounds from rejection and abandonment, and the.
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  Speaker 2: First step is to bring the honest pain to him.
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  Speaker 2: Rejection and abandonment are heavy burdens to carry. They weigh
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  Speaker 2: us down, and it's like there are two heavy log
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  Speaker 2: chains we drag everywhere. Now. I'm living farming countries, so
• 19:17
  Speaker 2: I know what log chains are, and the links are
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  Speaker 2: like this bigger round and I can't lift them. But
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  Speaker 2: yet that's what I picture when I'm dragging around rejection
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  Speaker 2: and abandonment. It takes so much more energy to just
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  Speaker 2: do our everyday lives. But this is the truth of
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  Speaker 2: the matter. We can't heal what we hide. Jesus invites honesty,
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  Speaker 2: he said in Matthew Chapter eleven, verses twenty eight through thirty.
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  Speaker 3: Come to me, all you who are weary.
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  Speaker 2: And burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my
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  Speaker 2: yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am
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  Speaker 2: gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest
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  Speaker 2: for your souls, for my yoke is easy and my
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  Speaker 2: burden is light. Name what we feel starts our healing process.
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  Speaker 1: That's such an important truth because frequently we feel all
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  Speaker 1: the feels, but we don't stop to think about what
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  Speaker 1: we're feeling. Yeah. The second tip that I would give
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  Speaker 1: is to replace the false story with truth. Every rejection
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  Speaker 1: writes a script in our minds, but Jesus gives us
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  Speaker 1: a new script. You are beloved. John fifteen nine says,
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  Speaker 1: as the Father has loved me, so have I loved you.
• 20:32
  Speaker 1: Now remain remain in my love. The truth is you
• 20:37
  Speaker 1: are chosen. Verse Peter two nine says, but you are
• 20:41
  Speaker 1: a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God's
• 20:47
  Speaker 1: special possession, that you may declare the praises of Him
• 20:51
  Speaker 1: who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light.
• 20:55
  Speaker 1: Another truth is you are adopted. Ephesians one four reminds
• 20:59
  Speaker 1: us in love he destined us for adoption to sonship
• 21:04
  Speaker 1: through Christ Jesus in accordance with His pleasure and will.
• 21:08
  Speaker 1: And another truth that when we feel rejected or abandoned
• 21:12
  Speaker 1: is so important to remember, is that God says you
• 21:15
  Speaker 1: are mine. Isaiah forty three one says, do not fear,
• 21:18
  Speaker 1: for I have redeemed you. I have summoned you by name.
• 21:23
  Speaker 1: You are mine.
• 21:25
  Speaker 2: Those truths we should write those down because that it's
• 21:30
  Speaker 2: relearning a new script. I mean, rejection and abandonment really
• 21:34
  Speaker 2: does tell us a false narrative. And yet it's so
• 21:38
  Speaker 2: believable because our circumstances seemed to be proving it right.
• 21:42
  Speaker 2: But to remember that God says that we are His,
• 21:45
  Speaker 2: that we are chosen, that we are adopted, that we
• 21:48
  Speaker 2: are beloved.
• 21:49
  Speaker 3: Boy, that can really rewrite that false script in our mind.
• 21:53
  Speaker 1: Now.
• 21:54
  Speaker 2: Third, God often uses his people to rewrite what abandonment
• 21:59
  Speaker 2: tried to teach us. Healthy patient, consistent relationships remind us
• 22:04
  Speaker 2: that presence is possible. It is way too easy to
• 22:08
  Speaker 2: cut off any future friendships when past experiences with people
• 22:12
  Speaker 2: have left us wounded. We are not meant to live
• 22:16
  Speaker 2: life isolated and alone.
• 22:18
  Speaker 3: I know it can.
• 22:19
  Speaker 2: Be scary to open our hearts up to relationships after
• 22:23
  Speaker 2: we've been wounded, but it is worth it.
• 22:26
  Speaker 3: It's worth it because we.
• 22:27
  Speaker 2: Might miss out on a wonderful healing experience if we
• 22:31
  Speaker 2: cling to our fear of rejection and abandonment.
• 22:35
  Speaker 1: Because rejection and abandonment can cause us to go into isolation,
• 22:39
  Speaker 1: and that is enemy territory. That's where he wants to
• 22:43
  Speaker 1: get us. The fourth tip that I would say is
• 22:46
  Speaker 1: that we have to actually practice remaining in Christ's love.
• 22:50
  Speaker 1: If for so many of us we quickly vacillate out
• 22:55
  Speaker 1: of that truth, we forget it, So it requires practice.
• 22:59
  Speaker 1: John ten four says, abide in me and I in you.
• 23:03
  Speaker 1: As the branch cannot bear fruit by itself unless it
• 23:07
  Speaker 1: abides in the vine, neither can you unless you abide
• 23:11
  Speaker 1: in me. Healing comes from abiding, Transformation comes from abiding,
• 23:18
  Speaker 1: Peace comes from abiding, Maturity comes from abiding. So basically,
• 23:23
  Speaker 1: we practice remaining abiding in Christ's love through prayer, through worship,
• 23:30
  Speaker 1: through our devotional time through remembering his faithfulness. The more
• 23:35
  Speaker 1: we abide in his presence, the less power those old
• 23:40
  Speaker 1: wounds have.
• 23:41
  Speaker 2: Yes, abiding sounds simple, but it's a lifetime. It's a
• 23:46
  Speaker 2: daily habit, a daily progress, and the more we do it,
• 23:49
  Speaker 2: the more automatic it becomes. Now, finally, start praying every
• 23:54
  Speaker 2: morning like this, Jesus, remind me you're not going anywhere.
• 23:59
  Speaker 2: Over time, this simple prayer can start to dismantle the
• 24:02
  Speaker 2: fear of rejection and abandonment because it helps us trust
• 24:07
  Speaker 2: in Jesus's steadiness.
• 24:09
  Speaker 1: Healing doesn't begin with convincing ourselves that people won't leave.
• 24:13
  Speaker 1: In fact, healing doesn't guarantee they won't leave. It shifts
• 24:17
  Speaker 1: our mindset, and healing begins when we realize that Jesus's
• 24:22
  Speaker 1: love stays. Yeah, if you're listening and carrying the ache
• 24:26
  Speaker 1: of being forgotten, replaced, or overlooked. But Jessic and I
• 24:31
  Speaker 1: can relate. We've been there.
• 24:33
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 24:33
  Speaker 1: But that's when it's so important to remember that Christ's
• 24:36
  Speaker 1: love isn't fragile. It doesn't get tired, It doesn't reconsider
• 24:41
  Speaker 1: whether it wants you, It doesn't change depending on your performance,
• 24:45
  Speaker 1: It doesn't walk away when you mess up. Just if
• 24:49
  Speaker 1: a listener or a viewer is resonating with our conversation today,
• 24:54
  Speaker 1: maybe they too feel rejected or abandoned, or this is
• 24:58
  Speaker 1: reminding them of times when they di what hope filled
• 25:01
  Speaker 1: perspective would you want to leave them with?
• 25:03
  Speaker 2: Keep picturing when Jesus asked John the Baptist to baptize him,
• 25:08
  Speaker 2: and we here we have God in flesh being baptized. Yeah,
• 25:13
  Speaker 2: And as he came up out of the water, Scripture
• 25:17
  Speaker 2: says that the heavens opened and a dove appeared in
• 25:21
  Speaker 2: a voice. God's voice said, this is my son in
• 25:23
  Speaker 2: whom I am well pleased. Of course God is pleased
• 25:27
  Speaker 2: with his son. But this declaration came before Jesus started
• 25:32
  Speaker 2: his ministry, before he started down the journey to the cross.
• 25:37
  Speaker 2: And I think so often in our performance minded world,
• 25:41
  Speaker 2: we think we got to perform in order to receive approval. Yeah,
• 25:45
  Speaker 2: but I want to say that the moment that you
• 25:47
  Speaker 2: receive Christ as your savior and you're reconciled to God,
• 25:51
  Speaker 2: God is looking at you and saying, this is my daughter,
• 25:53
  Speaker 2: This is my son and whom I am well pleased,
• 25:56
  Speaker 2: And that when we are feeling rejected or abandoned, to
• 25:59
  Speaker 2: go back to that moment and to remember that you
• 26:03
  Speaker 2: are God's beloved, that he chose you, that he loves
• 26:07
  Speaker 2: you with an everlasting love, and that he will always
• 26:10
  Speaker 2: be with you. I want to pray before we close,
• 26:15
  Speaker 2: Heavenly Father, thank you so very much for who you
• 26:19
  Speaker 2: are and the fact that you chose us before we
• 26:22
  Speaker 2: ever thought about choosing you. God, I pray for the
• 26:25
  Speaker 2: one that is feeling rejected and abandoned. Lord, that they
• 26:29
  Speaker 2: would look to you, Lord, that they would that they
• 26:31
  Speaker 2: would that they would know that you call them beloved, Lord,
• 26:35
  Speaker 2: that they would know that you call them your own,
• 26:38
  Speaker 2: that they would know that they are safe and secure
• 26:41
  Speaker 2: within the palm of your hand. God. I just thank
• 26:45
  Speaker 2: you for this conversation. I thank you for your faithfulness,
• 26:48
  Speaker 2: and Lord, I thank you for what you're going to
• 26:50
  Speaker 2: do in the lives of our listeners today. In Jesus' name,
• 26:54
  Speaker 2: we pray.
• 26:54
  Speaker 1: Amen, Man, thank you for that. Jessica. Friends, as we
• 26:59
  Speaker 1: started off this episode saying, Jessica and I have both
• 27:02
  Speaker 1: experienced feelings of rejection and abandonment, and I would love
• 27:07
  Speaker 1: to tell you we don't ever struggle with that, but
• 27:09
  Speaker 1: we live in a fallen world, and the enemy knows
• 27:12
  Speaker 1: what has been effective in our lives before, and he
• 27:16
  Speaker 1: always goes back to those areas that were effective first. Yes,
• 27:20
  Speaker 1: so we continue to have to remember that our worth
• 27:24
  Speaker 1: doesn't come from the opinions of other people, and that
• 27:27
  Speaker 1: though other people may reject us or abandon us, we
• 27:30
  Speaker 1: have to rest fully in the knowledge that Christ never will.
• 27:34
  Speaker 1: He came, he proved his love, he sacrificed his life
• 27:39
  Speaker 1: out of his great love, and his love is never ending.
• 27:43
  Speaker 1: I hope that you're encouraged by that, and I hope
• 27:46
  Speaker 1: that on those days that are difficult, that you'll remember
• 27:50
  Speaker 1: you are beloved, you are chosen, you are his. That's
• 27:54
  Speaker 1: our desire for you is that you would return to
• 27:57
  Speaker 1: truth because lies can be so convinced, but we can
• 28:01
  Speaker 1: interrupt that thought pattern, and that's your best defense against
• 28:05
  Speaker 1: the lives. If there was something in today's episode that
• 28:08
  Speaker 1: resonated with you, encouraged your heart, or you know someone
• 28:12
  Speaker 1: who's struggling with feelings of rejection and abandonment, which you
• 28:15
  Speaker 1: please consider sharing this episode with them so they'll have
• 28:18
  Speaker 1: a biblically based Hope Field perspective. And while you're at it,
• 28:22
  Speaker 1: would you please consider subscribing to the podcast and the
• 28:25
  Speaker 1: follow up blog that goes live every Monday, because we
• 28:28
  Speaker 1: don't want you to miss another hope filled perspective based
• 28:33
  Speaker 1: in God's truth. We look forward to having another episode
• 28:36
  Speaker 1: with you next week, but you know it's our prayer
• 28:39
  Speaker 1: for you in the meantime that you would have a
• 28:42
  Speaker 1: hope filled week.
• 28:44
  Speaker 4: Everyone experiences pain at times. It can manifest physically, emotionally, relationally,
• 28:52
  Speaker 4: or spiritually. It can follow tragic accidents, great loss, sudden betrayal,
• 28:59
  Speaker 4: or unexpected did an unwanted change. Often pain is temporary,
• 29:04
  Speaker 4: but what do you do when it isn't? When pain
• 29:07
  Speaker 4: won't go away, healing does not come, and grief and
• 29:11
  Speaker 4: hurt settle in to stay. Drawing on her experience of
• 29:15
  Speaker 4: chronic pain in her years as a board certified clinical neuropsychologist,
• 29:20
  Speaker 4: doctor Michelle Benkson provides a countercultural perspective on pain, offering
• 29:26
  Speaker 4: hope without any false promises or empty platitudes. Doctor Benkson
• 29:31
  Speaker 4: unwraps the complex emotional aspects of dealing with pain. She
• 29:36
  Speaker 4: gives you permission to question God, helps you identify the
• 29:40
  Speaker 4: lies you've believed about your pain, and reorients your perspective
• 29:44
  Speaker 4: based on the truth of God's word. Each chapter ends
• 29:48
  Speaker 4: with a recommended playlist, reflection questions, and a prayer. Your
• 29:53
  Speaker 4: pain may not change, but your experience with it can.
• 29:57
  Speaker 4: Doctor Sondra Dalton's Smith, physician, best selling author and a
• 30:03
  Speaker 4: host of the I Choose My Best Life podcast, had
• 30:07
  Speaker 4: this to say about the Hem of His Garment. Doctor
• 30:11
  Speaker 4: Michelle Bankson is honest and transparent, and she gives the
• 30:15
  Speaker 4: reader permission to ask hard questions and practical guidance on
• 30:19
  Speaker 4: how to seek God during times when you feel the
• 30:21
  Speaker 4: most wounded. A beautiful gift for every person living with pain.
• 30:26
  Speaker 4: Holy Girth, best selling author of What Your Mind Needs
• 30:30
  Speaker 4: for Anxious Moments says pain is inevitable, but enduring it
• 30:35
  Speaker 4: alone is optional. Doctor Michelle Bankson is a voice of
• 30:39
  Speaker 4: hope who will speak into your struggles at helping hand
• 30:42
  Speaker 4: who will point you to Jesus and a wise guide
• 30:45
  Speaker 4: who will lead you through what you're facing so you
• 30:49
  Speaker 4: can embrace more of what our good God has for you.
• 30:54
  Speaker 4: Pick up a copy of the Hem of His Garments
• 30:57
  Speaker 4: for you and a friend wherever books are sold.
• 31:04
  Speaker 5: Thank you for joining doctor Bankson for your hope build perspective.
• 31:08
  Speaker 5: We hope you are encouraged by her authenticity, vulnerability, and
• 31:13
  Speaker 5: biblical truths. If you enjoy today's conversation, when you take
• 31:16
  Speaker 5: a moment right now, open up your podcast app and
• 31:20
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• 31:23
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• 31:24
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• 31:27
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• 31:33
  Speaker 6: If you have a comment, question, or suggest a topic
• 31:36
  Speaker 6: for a future show, reach out to our staff at
• 31:38
  Speaker 6: info at Hope Prevails dot org for additional resources, information
• 31:43
  Speaker 6: about doctor Bankson's books or free downloads, or to contact
• 31:47
  Speaker 6: her to speak at your next event. Please visit doctor
• 31:50
  Speaker 6: michelb dot com. Until next time, May you have a
• 31:54
  Speaker 6: hope filled week.
• 31:59
  Speaker 1: I'd like to take us a second to thank the
• 32:01
  Speaker 1: team at Life Audio for their partnership with us on
• 32:04
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• 32:07
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• 32:11
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