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50 - Autobiography of Madame Guyon by Jeanne Marie Bouvier de la Motte Guyon · Autobiography of Madame Guyon

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  Speaker 1: This is a LibriVox recording. All LibriVox recordings are in
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  Speaker 1: the public domain. For more information or to volunteer, please
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  Speaker 1: visit LibriVox dot org. The Autobiography of Madame Killon by
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  Speaker 1: Jean Kion, Volume two, Chapter twenty. On January twenty ninth,
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  Speaker 1: sixteen eighty eight, I went to Saint Mary's. There they
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  Speaker 1: let me know I must neither have my daughter nor
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  Speaker 1: a maid to serve me, but must be locked up
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  Speaker 1: alone in a chamber. Indeed, it touched me to my
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  Speaker 1: heart when my daughter was taken from me. They would
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  Speaker 1: neither allow her to be in that house, nor anybody
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  Speaker 1: to bring me any news of her. I was then
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  Speaker 1: obliged to sacrifice my daughter, as if she were mine
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  Speaker 1: no longer. The people of the house were proposed with
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  Speaker 1: so frightful an account of me that they looked at
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  Speaker 1: me with horror for my jailor. They singled out a
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  Speaker 1: nun who they thought would treat me with the greatest rigor,
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  Speaker 1: and they were not mistaken. Therein they asked me who
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  Speaker 1: was now my confessor. I named him, but he was
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  Speaker 1: seized with such a fright that he denied. Though I
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  Speaker 1: could have produced many persons who had seen me at
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  Speaker 1: his confessional. So then they said they had caught me
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  Speaker 1: in a lie. I was not to be trusted. My
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  Speaker 1: acquaintances then said they knew me not, and others were
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  Speaker 1: at liberty to invent stories and say all manner of
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  Speaker 1: evil of me. The woman appointed for my keeper was
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  Speaker 1: gained over by my enemies to torment me as a heretic,
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  Speaker 1: an enthusiast, one crack print, and a hypocrite. God alone
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  Speaker 1: knows what she made me suffer. As he sought to
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  Speaker 1: surprise me in my words. I watched them to be
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  Speaker 1: more exact in them, but I feared the worse for it.
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  Speaker 1: I made more slips and gave her more advantages over me.
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  Speaker 1: Thereby beside the trouble in my own mind for it.
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  Speaker 1: I then left myself as I was, and resolved, though
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  Speaker 1: this woman would bring me to the scaffold by the
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  Speaker 1: false reports she was continually carrying to the Prioress, that
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  Speaker 1: I would simply resign myself to my Lord. So I
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  Speaker 1: re entered into my former condition. Monsieur Charon, the official
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  Speaker 1: and the doctor of Sorbonne came four times to examine me.
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  Speaker 1: Our Lord did me the favor which he promised to
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  Speaker 1: his apostles to make me answer much better than if
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  Speaker 1: I had study Look twenty one fourteen fifteen. They said
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  Speaker 1: to me, if I had explained myself as I now
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  Speaker 1: did in the book entitled Short and Easy Method of Prayer,
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  Speaker 1: I would not now have been here. My last examination
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  Speaker 1: was about a counterfeit letter, which they read and let
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  Speaker 1: me see. I told them the hand was no way
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  Speaker 1: like mine. They said it was only a copy. They
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  Speaker 1: had the original at home. I desired a sight of it,
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  Speaker 1: but could not obtain it. I told them I never
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  Speaker 1: wrote it, nor did I know the person to whom
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  Speaker 1: it was addressed. But they looked scarcely any notice of
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  Speaker 1: what I said. After this letter was read, the official
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  Speaker 1: turned to me and said, you see, Madam, that after
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  Speaker 1: such a letter that I was foundation enough for imprisoning you. Yes, Sir,
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  Speaker 1: said I. If I had written it. I showed them
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  Speaker 1: its falsehoods and inconsistencies, but all in vain. I was
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  Speaker 1: left two months and treated worse and worse before either
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  Speaker 1: of them came again to see me. Till then I
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  Speaker 1: had always some hope that, seeing my innocence, they would
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  Speaker 1: do me justice. But now I saw that they did
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  Speaker 1: not want to find me innocent, but to make me
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  Speaker 1: appear guilty. The official alone came the next time and
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  Speaker 1: told me that I must speak no more of the
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  Speaker 1: false letter, that it was nothing. How nothing said I
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  Speaker 1: to counterfeit a person's writing and to make one a
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  Speaker 1: pear an enemy to the state. He replied, we will
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  Speaker 1: seek out the author of it. The other said, I
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  Speaker 1: is no other than the scrivener courtier. He then demanded
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  Speaker 1: where the papers were which I wrote on the scriptures.
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  Speaker 1: I told him I would give them up when I
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  Speaker 1: should be out of prison, but was not willing to
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  Speaker 1: tell with whom I had lodged them. About three or
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  Speaker 1: four days before Easter, he came again with the dog,
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  Speaker 1: and a verbal process was drawn up against me for
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  Speaker 1: rebelling in not giving up letters. Copies of my writings
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  Speaker 1: were then put into their hands, for I had not
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  Speaker 1: the originals. I know not where those who got them
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  Speaker 1: from me have put them, but I am firm in
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  Speaker 1: the faith that they would all be preserved in spite
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  Speaker 1: of the storm. The prioress asked the official how my
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  Speaker 1: affair went. He said very well, that I should soon
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  Speaker 1: be discharged. These became the common talk, but I had
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  Speaker 1: a presentiment of the contrary. I had an inexpressible satisfaction
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  Speaker 1: and joy in suffering and being a prisoner. The confinement
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  Speaker 1: of my body made me better relish the freedom of
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  Speaker 1: my mind. Saint Joseph's day was to me a memorable day,
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  Speaker 1: for then my state had more of Heaven than of earth,
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  Speaker 1: beyond what any expression can reach. These was followed, as
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  Speaker 1: it were, with a suspension of every favor. Then enjoyed
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  Speaker 1: a disposation of new sufferings. I was obliged to sacrifice
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  Speaker 1: myself anew and to trink the very dregs of the
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  Speaker 1: bitter draft. I never had any resentment against my persecutors,
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  Speaker 1: though I well knew them, their spirit and their actions.
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  Speaker 1: Jesus Christ and the saints saw their persecutors, and at
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  Speaker 1: the same time, so that they could have no power
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  Speaker 1: except it were given them from above. John nineteen eleven.
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  Speaker 1: Loving the strokes which God gives, one cannot hate the
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  Speaker 1: hand which he makes use of to strike with a
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  Speaker 1: few days after the official came and told me he
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  Speaker 1: gave me the liberty of the cloister, that is, to
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  Speaker 1: go and come in the house. They were now very
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  Speaker 1: industrious in urging my daughter to consent to a marriage which,
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  Speaker 1: had it taken place, would have been her ruin to succeed. Herein,
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  Speaker 1: they had placed her with a relation of the gentleman
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  Speaker 1: whom they wanted her to marry. All my confidence was
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  Speaker 1: in God that he would not permit it to be accomplished,
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  Speaker 1: as the man had not texture of Christianity being abandoned,
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  Speaker 1: both in his principles and morals. To induce me to
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  Speaker 1: give up my daughter, they promised me and immediate release
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  Speaker 1: from prison and from every charge under which I labored.
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  Speaker 1: But if I refused, they threatened me with imprisonment for
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  Speaker 1: life and with death on the scaffold. In spite of
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  Speaker 1: all the promises and threatenings, I persistently refused. Soon after,
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  Speaker 1: the official and doctor came to tell the Prioress I
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  Speaker 1: must be closely locked up. He represented to them that
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  Speaker 1: the chamber I was in was more having an opening
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  Speaker 1: to the light or air only on one side, through
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  Speaker 1: which the sun shone all the day long, and being
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  Speaker 1: the month of July, it must soon cause my death.
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  Speaker 1: They paid no regard. She asked why I must be
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  Speaker 1: thus closely locked up? They said I had committed horrible
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  Speaker 1: things in her house even within the last month, and
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  Speaker 1: had scandalized the nuns. He protested the contrary and assure
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  Speaker 1: them the whole community had received great defication from me
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  Speaker 1: and could not but admire my patience and moderation. But
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  Speaker 1: it was all in vain. The poor woman could not
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  Speaker 1: refrain from tears at a statement so removed from the truth.
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  Speaker 1: They then sent for me and told me I had
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  Speaker 1: done base things in the last month. I asked what
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  Speaker 1: things they will not tell me. I said then that
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  Speaker 1: I would suffer as long and as much as it
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  Speaker 1: should please God, that this affair was begun on forgeries
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  Speaker 1: against me, and so continued that God was witness of everything.
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  Speaker 1: The doctor told me that to take God for a
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  Speaker 1: witness in such a thing was a crime. I replied
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  Speaker 1: that nothing in the world could hinder me from having
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  Speaker 1: recourse to God. I was then shut up more closely
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  Speaker 1: than at first, until I was absolutely at the point
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  Speaker 1: of death, being thrown into a violent fever and almost
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  Speaker 1: stifled with the closeness of the place, and not permitted
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  Speaker 1: to have any assistance. In the time of the ancient Law,
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  Speaker 1: there were several of the Lord's martyrs who suffer for
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  Speaker 1: setting and trusting in the one True God. In the
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  Speaker 1: primitive Church of Christ, the martyrs shed their blood for
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  Speaker 1: maintaining the truth of Jesus Christ crucified. Now there are
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  Speaker 1: mass of the Holy Ghost who suffer for their dependence
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  Speaker 1: on him, for maintaining his reign in souls, and for
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  Speaker 1: being victims of the divine will. It is this spirit
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  Speaker 1: which is to be poured out on all flesh, as
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  Speaker 1: set the prophet Joel. The martyrs of Jesus Christ have
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  Speaker 1: been glorious martyrs, he having drunk up the confusion of
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  Speaker 1: that martyrdom. But the martyrs of the Holy Spirit are
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  Speaker 1: martyrs of reproach and igdomini. The devil no more exercises
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  Speaker 1: his power against their faith or believe, but directly attacks
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  Speaker 1: the dominion of the Holy Spirit, opposing his celestial motion
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  Speaker 1: in souls and discharging his hatred on the back of
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  Speaker 1: those whose minds he cannot hurt. Oh, Holy Spirit, a
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  Speaker 1: spirit of love, Let me ever be subjected to Thy will.
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  Speaker 1: And as a leave is moved before the wind, so
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  Speaker 1: let me be moved by Thy divine breath. As the
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  Speaker 1: inventuous wind breaks all that resists it, so break thou
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  Speaker 1: all that opposes thy empiyer although I have been obliged
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  Speaker 1: to describe the procedure of those who persecute me, I
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  Speaker 1: have not done it out of resentment, since I love
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  Speaker 1: them at my heart and pray for them, leaving to
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  Speaker 1: God the care of defending me and delivering me out
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  Speaker 1: of thy hands. Without making any movement of my own
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  Speaker 1: for it. I have apprehended and believed that God will
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  Speaker 1: have me write everything sincerely, that His name may be glorified,
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  Speaker 1: that the things done in secret against his servants should
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  Speaker 1: one day be published on the housetops. For the more
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  Speaker 1: they strive to conceal them from the eyes of men,
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  Speaker 1: the more would God in his own time make them
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  Speaker 1: all manifest. August twenty two, sixteen eighty eight. It was
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  Speaker 1: thought I was about coming out of prison, and everything
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  Speaker 1: seemed to tend toward it. But the Lord gave me
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  Speaker 1: a sense that far from being willing to deliver me,
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  Speaker 1: they were only laying new snares to ruin me more
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  Speaker 1: effectually and to make Father la Manth known to the
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  Speaker 1: King and esteemed by him. On the day men, which
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  Speaker 1: was my birthday, being forty years of age, I awaked
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  Speaker 1: under an impression of Jesus Christ in an agony. Seeing
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  Speaker 1: the counsel of the Jews against him, I knew that
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  Speaker 1: none but God could deliver me out of prison, and
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  Speaker 1: I was satisfied that he would do it one day
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  Speaker 1: by his own right hand, though ignorant of the manner
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  Speaker 1: and living it wholly to himself. In the order of
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  Speaker 1: divine providence, my case was led before Madame de Maintenon,
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  Speaker 1: who became deeply interested in the account given her of
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  Speaker 1: my sufferings, and at length procure my release. A few
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  Speaker 1: days afterward I had my first interview with Abbi Phenelon.
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  Speaker 1: Coming out of Saint Mary's, I retire into the community
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  Speaker 1: of Vendame Miramion, where I kept my bed of a
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  Speaker 1: fever three months and had an impostion in my eye.
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  Speaker 1: Yet at this time I was accused of going continually
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  Speaker 1: out halty suspected assemblies, together with other groundless false woods.
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  Speaker 1: In this house, my daughter was married to Monsieur la
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  Speaker 1: Nicholas Fouquet, Count de Vaux. I removed to my daughter's house, and,
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  Speaker 1: on account of her extreme youth, lived with her two
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  Speaker 1: years and a half. Even there, my enemies were, ever
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  Speaker 1: fortune one thing after another against me. I then wanted
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  Speaker 1: to retire quite secretly to the house of the Benettings
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  Speaker 1: and Bondarki, my native place, But it was discovered, and
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  Speaker 1: both friends and enemies jointly prevented the family in which
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  Speaker 1: my daughter was married. Being of the number of Abbe
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  Speaker 1: Phenelon's friends, I had the opportunity of often seeing him
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  Speaker 1: at our house. We had some conversations on the subject
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  Speaker 1: of a spiritual life, in which he made several objections
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  Speaker 1: to my experience therein. I answered them with my usual simplicity, which,
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  Speaker 1: as I found gain upon him. As the affair of
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  Speaker 1: Molinus at that time made a great noise, the plainest
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  Speaker 1: things were distrusted, and the terms used by mystic writers exploded.
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  Speaker 1: So I saw clearly expounded everything to him, and so
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  Speaker 1: fully solved all his objections, that no one more fully
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  Speaker 1: imbibed my sentiments than he, which has since led the
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  Speaker 1: foundation of that persecution he has suffered. His answers to
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  Speaker 1: the Bishop of Maul evidently showed this to all who
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  Speaker 1: have read them. I now took a little private house
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  Speaker 1: to follow the inclination I had for retirement, where I
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  Speaker 1: sometimes had the pleasure of seeing my family and a
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  Speaker 1: few particular friends, certain young ladies of Saint Cyr. Having
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  Speaker 1: informed Madame Mandenon that they found in my conversation something
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  Speaker 1: which attracted them to God, she encouraged me to continue
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  Speaker 1: my instructions to them. By the fine change in some
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  Speaker 1: of them, with whom before she had not been well pleased,
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  Speaker 1: she found she had no reason to repent of it.
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  Speaker 1: She then treated me with much respect, and for three
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  Speaker 1: years after while these lasted, I received from her every
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  Speaker 1: mark of esteem and confidence. But that very thing afterward
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  Speaker 1: drew on me the most severe persecution. The free entrance
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  Speaker 1: I had into the house, and the confidence which some
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  Speaker 1: young ladies of the court, distinguished for their wrang and piety,
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  Speaker 1: placed in me, gave no small uneasiness to the people
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  Speaker 1: who had persecuted me. The directors took umbreached at it,
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  Speaker 1: and under pretext of the troubles I had some years before,
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  Speaker 1: they engaged the Bishop at Charters, superior of Saint Cyr,
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  Speaker 1: to present to Madame Maintenon that by my particular conduct
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  Speaker 1: I troubled the order of the house, that the young
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  Speaker 1: women in it were so attached to me, and to
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  Speaker 1: what I said to them, that they no longer herkened
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  Speaker 1: to their superiors. I then meant. I then went no
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  Speaker 1: more to Saint Cyr, I answered the young ladies, who
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  Speaker 1: wrote to me only by letters unsealed, which passed through
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  Speaker 1: the hands of Madame Magnanon. Soon after I fell sick,
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  Speaker 1: the physicians, after trying in vain the usual method of cure,
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  Speaker 1: ordered me to repair to the waters of Bourdon. My
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  Speaker 1: servant had been induced to give me some poison. After
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  Speaker 1: taking it, I suffer such exquisite pains that, without speedy succor,
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  Speaker 1: I should have died in a few hours. The man
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  Speaker 1: immediately ran away, and I have never seen him since.
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  Speaker 1: When I was at Bourbon, the waters which I drew
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  Speaker 1: up burned like spirits of wine. I had not thought
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  Speaker 1: of being poisoned till the physicians of Bourbon assure me
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  Speaker 1: of it. The waters had but little effect. I suffered
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  Speaker 1: from it for above seven years. God kept me in
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  Speaker 1: such a disposition of sacrifice that I was quite resigned
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  Speaker 1: to suffer everything and to receive from his hand all
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  Speaker 1: that might befall me, since for me to offer in
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  Speaker 1: any way to vindicate myself would be only beating the air.
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  Speaker 1: When the Lord is willing to make any one suffer,
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  Speaker 1: he permits even the most virtuous people to be readily
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  Speaker 1: blinded towards them. And I may confess that the persecution
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  Speaker 1: of the wicked is but little when convet with that
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  Speaker 1: of the servants of the Church, deceived and animated with
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  Speaker 1: a zeal which they think right. Many of these were,
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  Speaker 1: now by the artifices made use of, greatly imposed on
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  Speaker 1: In regard to me, I was represented to them in
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  Speaker 1: an odious light, as a strange creature. Since therefore I
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  Speaker 1: must o, my Lord, be conformable to THEE to please THEE.
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  Speaker 1: I set more value on my humiliation and on seeing
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  Speaker 1: myself condemned of everybody, than if I saw myself on
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  Speaker 1: the summit of honor in the world. How often have
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  Speaker 1: I said, even in the bitterness of my heart, that
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  Speaker 1: I should be more afraid of one reproach of my
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  Speaker 1: conscience than of the outcry and condemnation of all men.
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  Speaker 1: End of Chapter twenty, Volume two, Athens, Greece, July of
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  Speaker 1: two thousand nine.