Latest / New Manager Conversations with Fexingo: First 90 Days, Managing Former Peers, and Leadership Basics / The Hidden Cost of Promoting Your Best Salesperson
Transcript
- Lucas: I was reading a report last week from McKinsey about the percentage of new managers who fail in their first two years, and it wasn't the ones with low technical skills who stumbled. It was the ones who were previously the best at their job. The data suggests that being an excellent individual contributor is almost a liability when you get promoted to manage people, because the skill sets required are diametrically opposed. Luna: That makes sense on the surface, but I wonder if it's more about the identity shift than just the skill set. You stop being the hero who solves problems and start being the coach who helps others solve them. That transition feels incredibly lonely for a lot of people. Lucas: Exactly. And I think that's where the donation segment comes in naturally today. If these conversations have helped you navigate a career move or understand your role better, consider supporting us. A couple of dollars a month is genuinely what keeps these going, so check out buy me a coffee dot com slash fexingo if you've gotten something out of our time together. Luna: Thanks for the support. It really does help us keep producing quality content without ads. Now, back to that idea of the identity shift. Do you think companies are doing enough to prepare people for that change before they hand them a team? Lucas: Mostly no. They treat management as a reward rather than a different career track. I see this constantly in tech, especially with software engineers who become engineering leads. They get promoted because they wrote the best code, not because they can run a sprint meeting or give feedback on someone else's code without tearing it down. The organization assumes that if you can build the product, you can build the team. That assumption is wrong. Luna: It’s like expecting a star quarterback to instantly know how to be a head coach. The mechanics of throwing the ball don’t translate to managing egos, strategy, and roster construction. Lucas: Right, and the damage is often done quietly. The new manager doesn't fire anyone. They just burn out. They try to keep doing the old job while trying to learn the new one, and eventually, they end up micromanaging because they don't trust the process or the people yet. They revert to what they know: execution. But execution is a solo sport. Management is a contact sport. Luna: So how do we spot the warning signs early? Is there a specific behavior that tells you someone is stuck in that individual contributor mindset? Lucas: Look for the phrase 'let me just do it myself.' It sounds helpful in the moment, but it’s a red flag. If a new manager is stepping in to fix a direct report’s mistake instead of having a conversation about why it happened, they’re failing. They’re protecting their own ego by ensuring the work is perfect, rather than developing the person. It’s short-term efficiency for long-term fragility. Luna: That’s a classic example of taking credit by omission too. By doing it themselves, they remove the opportunity for the team member to learn. It’s subtle but corrosive. Lucas: It is. And I think another big marker is how they handle meetings. A former individual contributor often runs meetings as status updates or problem-solving sessions where they provide the answers. A good manager runs meetings as decision-making forums or coaching opportunities where they ask questions. If you’re the one talking more than half the time in a team meeting, you’re probably still thinking like an IC. Luna: Yeah, and that ties into the feedback loop. Former stars often struggle to give constructive criticism because they’ve been praised for their excellence. They might fear that critiquing someone’s work will diminish their own status or cause conflict. Lucas: Precisely. They confuse kindness with absence of standards. They think, 'If I’m nice, they’ll like me, and then they’ll perform well.' But employees actually prefer clear, honest feedback over vague encouragement. When a manager avoids hard conversations, the team interprets it as either incompetence or favoritism. Neither is good for morale. Luna: So what should a new manager do in those first ninety days to break that habit? Are there concrete steps? Lucas: Schedule one-on-ones that are strictly about the employee, not the project. Dedicate thirty minutes a week to asking, 'What’s blocking you?' or 'How can I make your life easier?' instead of 'What did you finish today?' Shift the metric of success from output to enablement. If your team delivers more because you removed obstacles, you’ve won. If you delivered the work yourself, you’ve lost. Luna: That requires a lot of restraint. It’s hard to sit back and watch someone struggle through a task when you know you could fix it in ten minutes. Lucas: It is. That’s why you need to measure your own performance differently. Track how many decisions your team makes independently. Track how many times you had to step in versus how many times you coached them through it. Those are leading indicators of a healthy team. Lagging indicators are just the final numbers on a spreadsheet. Luna: I like that. Leading indicators of health vs lagging indicators of output. It changes the focus from results to process. Lucas: And process is scalable. Results are often singular events. If you build a process that works, anyone can follow it. If you rely on your personal brilliance, you’re capped by your own energy and attention span. Leadership is about multiplying your impact, not maximizing your own contribution. Luna: That multiplication effect is what separates a senior individual contributor from a manager. One is linear, the other is exponential. But only if the foundation is solid. Lucas: Exactly. And building that foundation starts with vulnerability. New managers often feel they need to have all the answers. Admitting you don’t know something and asking your team for input is actually a strength. It models learning behavior. It shows that authority isn’t about knowing everything; it’s about facilitating the right outcomes. Luna: It also builds trust. People respect a leader who listens more than a leader who preaches. Especially in knowledge work where the experts are often on the front lines. Lucas: Right. So, if you’re listening to this and you’ve recently been promoted, or you’re thinking about asking for that promotion, ask yourself: am I ready to stop being the player and start being the coach? It’s a different game. The rules are different. The scoring is different. Luna: It’s definitely a mindset shift. And it’s okay if it takes time. Nobody expects you to be a perfect manager on day one. But being aware of the trap is the first step to avoiding it. Lucas: Agreed. The goal isn’t perfection. The goal is progress. Focus on enabling your team, removing blockers, and providing clear direction. If you do that consistently, the results will follow. And if you find yourself wanting to jump in and fix things, pause. Ask yourself if that’s helping the team grow or just satisfying your own urge to control. Luna: That self-check is crucial. It’s easy to fall back into old habits under pressure. Having that moment of reflection can save a lot of headaches down the road. Lucas: It can. And remember, your value as a manager is tied to the success of your team, not your personal output. Celebrate their wins. Learn from their mistakes. Support their growth. That’s the job. Everything else is noise. Luna: Well said. It’s about serving the team, not serving your own ego. A tough balance to strike, but worth the effort. Lucas: Absolutely. So, as you head into your week, think about one thing you can delegate or one conversation you can have that shifts the dynamic from you solving to you supporting. Small steps matter. Luna: I like that. One small step toward better leadership. Thanks for sharing that perspective, Lucas. Lucas: Thanks, Luna. Let’s see how it goes.