Latest / Career Coaching with Fexingo: Professional Coaches, Career Counselors, and Guidance for Workers / How to Run a Career Reference Audit
Transcript
- Lucas: So, Luna, I was talking to a friend who's a marketing manager, and she told me something that stopped me cold. She'd lined up a final round interview at a company she was thrilled about, and the hiring manager asked for references. She gave them three names, and one of them was her old boss from five years ago—who, it turns out, had left the industry entirely and was now running a small farm in Vermont. Luna: Oh no. Did the offer fall through? Lucas: It didn't fall through, but it got awkward. The hiring manager called the guy, got a rambling story about crop yields, and then had to chase her for a replacement. She got the job eventually, but it nearly cost her. And it made me think: most of us treat our references as an afterthought—we scribble down a few names on a form and hope for the best. But your references are basically your career character witnesses. If they're not current, not relevant, or not actually enthusiastic, they can sink you. Luna: So what's the fix? I mean, you can't just drop a reference if you haven't thought about it, right? Lucas: Exactly. The fix is what I've started calling a reference audit. It's a simple, systematic review of your professional references—who you have, who you're missing, and how they'd actually describe you if a hiring manager called them today. And it's a tool that can save you a lot of heartache. Luna: Okay, I like this. So how do you actually run one? Walk me through it. Lucas: First step is to list every possible reference you've worked with in the last five to seven years. I'm not just talking about bosses—include peers, direct reports, clients, even someone from a volunteer project if it's relevant. The goal is to get a long list, maybe ten to fifteen names, before you start pruning. Luna: And then what? You just cross off the ones who've retired or gone weird? Lucas: Not yet. Before you cross anyone off, you categorize them. I like to use three buckets. First, relationship strength: how close were you, really? Second, recency: have you worked with them in the last two years? And third, relevance: is their role and industry aligned with where you're applying now? That marketing manager's old boss probably scored high on strength but terrible on recency and relevance. Luna: So the audit forces you to be honest about the gaps. What do you do with the ones who are still strong but maybe not current? Lucas: That's the second step: refresh them. If you haven't talked to someone in a couple of years, reach out. A quick email or coffee catch-up works wonders. You don't have to ask for a reference yet—just re-establish the connection. That way, when you do need them, they're not caught off guard. Luna: And what about the ones you decide aren't going to make the cut? Do you just drop them? Lucas: You don't need to burn bridges, but you can quietly let them fade. The bigger issue is when you have a reference who's technically qualified but might not give you a glowing review. That's the third step: assess their enthusiasm. If you suspect someone might be lukewarm—maybe because you left on awkward terms or they're just not a fan—it's better to know that now than to have a hiring manager find out. Luna: So how do you test that without being awkward? You can't just ask, 'Hey, would you say nice things about me?' Lucas: You kind of can, actually. When you ask someone to be a reference, you can say something like, 'I'm exploring a new opportunity, and I'd love to list you if you feel comfortable speaking to my strengths.' That gives them an out. If they hesitate or give a vague answer, that's your signal. Luna: That's smart. And it also gives them a chance to self-select out without making it weird. Lucas: Right. And then the fourth step is to fill the gaps. I mean, if your audit reveals you don't have anyone who can speak to your recent work in a specific area—like managing budgets or leading a team—you need to actively build those references. That might mean volunteering for a project that puts you in front of a new manager or client, and then nurturing that relationship. Luna: So this isn't just a pre-interview checklist. It's something you could run once a year, like a career tune-up. Lucas: Exactly. And that's what I love about it. It's proactive. You're not scrambling when a recruiter asks for references; you already know who's going to be your strongest advocate. And it's also a great way to keep your network warm, because you're regularly touching base with people who matter to your career. Luna: I want to go back to the marketing manager for a second. What could she have done differently if she'd run this audit before that interview? Lucas: She would have realized that her go-to reference was stale. And she might have found a more recent colleague from a project she did last year. She also would have prepped that colleague, so when the call came, they knew exactly what to say. Instead, she had to do damage control mid-process. Luna: It's kind of like your references are your career spokespeople. You want them prepared and on message. Lucas: That's a great way to put it. And the audit helps you choose and coach those spokespeople. But there's another layer, too: your references can reveal blind spots in your personal brand. If you ask three different people what you're best at and you get three wildly different answers, that's a signal you're not communicating your strengths consistently. Luna: Oh, that's a good point. So the audit isn't just about logistics—it's about self-awareness. Lucas: Exactly. The audit is a mirror. It shows you how you're perceived, which is often different from how you see yourself. And that's valuable whether you're job hunting or not. Luna: I have to say, this is such a concrete tool. I'm tempted to run one this weekend just to see what comes up. Lucas: Do it. And if you want a template, I'll put one on the show notes. But honestly, you can do it on a napkin. Just list, categorize, refresh, assess, and fill gaps. Five steps. Luna: You know, speaking of things that help with career moves, I've been thinking about how you and I get to talk to so many people about this stuff. And a big part of that is because our listeners keep this show going. We don't have ads, we don't have sponsors—it's literally funded by a small group of listeners who chip in on buy me a coffee dot com slash fexingo. It's a way to keep this kind of practical advice available to everyone. Lucas: Yeah, and it's not about a big ask. It's just that if you've gotten something useful out of an episode like this, and you want to make sure we can keep making them, that's the place. No pressure, ever. Luna: It's like a reference audit for the show—checking in with the people who matter and keeping the connection alive. Lucas: Ha, I like that. Anyway, back to the audit. One thing I want to stress is that your references should be specific. If you're applying for a leadership role, you want someone who can speak to your leadership, not just your Excel skills. So when you ask permission, you can also give them a heads-up about the role and what you'd love for them to highlight. Luna: So you're basically coaching your references on what to say. Is that ethical? Lucas: It's not coaching them to lie—it's reminding them of your relevant achievements. People forget. If you managed a team of five and also revamped the company's reporting, and you're applying for a manager role, you want them to remember the team part. That's not manipulation; it's just good communication. Luna: I guess that's fair. In a way, you're helping them help you. Lucas: Exactly. And it also reduces their anxiety. Most people want to give a good reference, but they're not sure what to say. If you give them a framework, they feel more confident, and you get a better outcome. Luna: So, let's talk about timing. When's the best time to run a reference audit? Is it only when you're job hunting? Lucas: I'd say run it at least once a year, but definitely before you even start applying. The last thing you want is to be in the middle of a search and realize your top reference just moved to a different country and lost your phone number. Luna: That sounds like a disaster waiting to happen. Lucas: It happens more than you'd think. But the audit is also useful when you're not looking—it can help you identify who you want to build stronger relationships with, and that can pay off down the line. Luna: I'm thinking about my own list, and I realize I have a few people I haven't talked to in years. I should probably reach out before it's too late. Lucas: That's the spirit. And remember, the audit isn't just about the final list—it's about the process. It forces you to be intentional about your network and your brand. And that's something you can't fake. Luna: So if someone's listening and they're not sure where to start, what's the one thing you'd tell them? Lucas: Start with the list. Write down ten names of people you've worked with in the last few years. Don't overthink it. Then categorize them. You'll immediately see which ones are still relevant and which ones are just taking up space. And from there, you can decide what to do. Luna: That's a good, actionable step. I think a lot of listeners will try that this week. Lucas: I hope so. It's one of those small investments that can save you a lot of stress later. And if you do run the audit, let us know how it goes. We love hearing from listeners. Luna: Absolutely. And if you have questions about your own reference challenges, send them our way. We might do a follow-up episode on this. Lucas: That's a great idea. Until then, remember: your references are your career spokespeople. Give them a little attention, and they'll speak well of you when it counts. Luna: Yeah, and maybe your old boss will even retire from farming and come back to marketing. Lucas: Ha, we can only hope. For now, happy auditing.