Latest / The Growth Mindset Book Podcast: Ideas That Change the Way You Think / Take Back Your Power: What Taking 100% Responsibility for Your Life Really Means

Transcript

Take Back Your Power: What Taking 100% Responsibility for Your Life Really Means · The Growth Mindset Book Podcast: Ideas That Change the Way You Think

• 0:32
  SPEAKER_00: Today, I want to talk about an idea from Jack Canfield's The Success Principles that if you really understand it and actually live it, can completely change your life.
• 0:44
  SPEAKER_00: And I don't say that lightly.
• 0:46
  SPEAKER_00: The principle is incredibly simple.
• 0:49
  SPEAKER_00: Take 100% responsibility for your life.
• 0:53
  SPEAKER_00: Now, when you first hear that, you might say, Michael, I already do.
• 0:58
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe you do.
• 0:59
  SPEAKER_00: But let's talk about what 100% responsibility actually means.
• 1:04
  SPEAKER_00: Because there's a huge difference between taking responsibility when things are going well and taking responsibility when they're not.
• 1:12
  SPEAKER_00: It's easy to take responsibility for the promotion.
• 1:16
  SPEAKER_00: It's easy to take responsibility for the big sale.
• 1:19
  SPEAKER_00: It's easy to take responsibility when your business is growing.
• 1:23
  SPEAKER_00: But what about when things aren't going the way you want?
• 1:26
  SPEAKER_00: That's where this gets interesting.
• 1:29
  SPEAKER_00: Because what do most of us naturally want to do?
• 1:33
  SPEAKER_00: We look for the reason.
• 1:35
  SPEAKER_00: The economy, my company, my manager, my employees, my spouse, my childhood, interest rates, my territory, the leads aren't good.
• 1:44
  SPEAKER_00: Nobody answers the phone anymore.
• 1:46
  SPEAKER_00: Clients aren't buying.
• 1:48
  SPEAKER_00: And here's the problem.
• 1:50
  SPEAKER_00: The moment I make something outside of me responsible for my results, I've also given that thing control over my results.
• 1:59
  SPEAKER_00: Think about that.
• 2:00
  SPEAKER_00: If the economy is responsible for my success, then I need the economy to change before I can succeed.
• 2:08
  SPEAKER_00: If my manager is responsible for my happiness, then my manager has to change before I can be happy.
• 2:14
  SPEAKER_00: If my spouse is responsible for how I feel, then my spouse has control over how I feel.
• 2:21
  SPEAKER_00: Do you see what happens?
• 2:22
  SPEAKER_00: I've given my power away.
• 2:25
  SPEAKER_00: And that's why taking 100% responsibility isn't punishment.
• 2:30
  SPEAKER_00: It's freedom.
• 2:31
  SPEAKER_00: Because when I take responsibility, I'm saying, maybe I can't control everything that happens to me, but I can control what I do with it.
• 2:41
  SPEAKER_00: That's completely different.
• 2:43
  SPEAKER_00: Now, there's an incredibly simple formula in the success principles that explains this.
• 2:48
  SPEAKER_00: E plus R equals O.
• 2:52
  SPEAKER_00: Event plus response equals outcome.
• 2:55
  SPEAKER_00: Something happens, that's the event.
• 2:58
  SPEAKER_00: You respond to it, and together they help create the outcome.
• 3:02
  SPEAKER_00: Let me give you an example.
• 3:04
  SPEAKER_00: Two financial professionals are working in the exact same market, same economy, same interest rates, same uncertainty, same basic opportunities.
• 3:15
  SPEAKER_00: One has an incredible year.
• 3:17
  SPEAKER_00: The other has a terrible year.
• 3:20
  SPEAKER_00: If the economy were completely responsible for the result, wouldn't they have to get the same result?
• 3:26
  SPEAKER_00: Of course.
• 3:27
  SPEAKER_00: But they don't.
• 3:29
  SPEAKER_00: Why?
• 3:29
  SPEAKER_00: Because there's another variable.
• 3:32
  SPEAKER_00: Their response.
• 3:33
  SPEAKER_00: One person says, This market is terrible.
• 3:37
  SPEAKER_00: Nobody wants to meet.
• 3:38
  SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna wait until things get better.
• 3:41
  SPEAKER_00: The other person says, This market is challenging.
• 3:44
  SPEAKER_00: What do people need right now?
• 3:46
  SPEAKER_00: How can I communicate differently?
• 3:49
  SPEAKER_00: Who can I help?
• 3:50
  SPEAKER_00: Who should I call?
• 3:51
  SPEAKER_00: What can I learn?
• 3:53
  SPEAKER_00: Same event, different response, different outcome.
• 3:58
  SPEAKER_00: That's E plus R equals O.
• 4:01
  SPEAKER_00: And I want to make something really clear.
• 4:03
  SPEAKER_00: Taking 100% responsibility does not mean that everything that happens to you is your fault.
• 4:10
  SPEAKER_00: There are things that happen in life that we absolutely did not ask for.
• 4:15
  SPEAKER_00: People hurt us, companies make decisions we don't agree with, people we love get sick, markets change, unexpected things happen.
• 4:24
  SPEAKER_00: That's life.
• 4:26
  SPEAKER_00: Taking responsibility doesn't mean pretending those things didn't happen.
• 4:30
  SPEAKER_00: It means refusing to give those things permanent control over what happens next.
• 4:36
  SPEAKER_00: There's a big difference.
• 4:38
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe you didn't create the event, but what are you going to do now?
• 4:42
  SPEAKER_00: That's where your power is.
• 4:44
  SPEAKER_00: Let me give you another example.
• 4:46
  SPEAKER_00: Imagine you're driving to an appointment and suddenly you get a flat tire.
• 4:51
  SPEAKER_00: Did you consciously choose the flat tire?
• 4:54
  SPEAKER_00: Of course not.
• 4:55
  SPEAKER_00: But now you have choices.
• 4:57
  SPEAKER_00: You can scream, you can blame the tire company, you can say your entire day is ruined, you can call everyone you know and tell them what a terrible day you're having.
• 5:08
  SPEAKER_00: Or you can say, Okay, I've got a flat tire.
• 5:12
  SPEAKER_00: What do I need to do next?
• 5:14
  SPEAKER_00: Same flat tire, completely different experience.
• 5:18
  SPEAKER_00: Now take that idea and make it bigger.
• 5:21
  SPEAKER_00: Your business isn't where you want it to be.
• 5:24
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, what are you going to do next?
• 5:27
  SPEAKER_00: Your relationship isn't where you want it to be.
• 5:30
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, what are you going to do next?
• 5:33
  SPEAKER_00: Your finances aren't where you want them to be.
• 5:36
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, what are you going to do next?
• 5:39
  SPEAKER_00: Do you see the difference?
• 5:41
  SPEAKER_00: Instead of spending all of your energy figuring out who or what is responsible for where you are, you start using that energy to decide where you're going.
• 5:51
  SPEAKER_00: And here's something else I want you to think about.
• 5:54
  SPEAKER_00: What if the results in your life are feedback, not judgment, feedback?
• 6:00
  SPEAKER_00: If something isn't working, maybe the answer isn't to blame yourself.
• 6:04
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe the answer is simply, okay, this isn't producing the result I want.
• 6:10
  SPEAKER_00: What can I change?
• 6:12
  SPEAKER_00: That's a much more powerful question.
• 6:14
  SPEAKER_00: Because blame keeps you looking backward.
• 6:17
  SPEAKER_00: Responsibility gets you looking forward.
• 6:20
  SPEAKER_00: And I think there's an important distinction here.
• 6:22
  SPEAKER_00: Taking responsibility is not the same as blaming yourself.
• 6:27
  SPEAKER_00: I don't want you walking around saying, everything is my fault.
• 6:31
  SPEAKER_00: That's not what this is about.
• 6:33
  SPEAKER_00: This is about saying, my life is my responsibility.
• 6:38
  SPEAKER_00: Can you feel the difference?
• 6:40
  SPEAKER_00: One makes you smaller, the other makes you powerful.
• 6:45
  SPEAKER_00: Let's make this really practical.
• 6:47
  SPEAKER_00: Think of one area of your life right now where you're not getting the result you want.
• 6:52
  SPEAKER_00: Just one.
• 6:53
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe it's your income, your business, your health, your relationship, your happiness, whatever it is.
• 7:00
  SPEAKER_00: Now ask yourself, who or what have I been blaming?
• 7:05
  SPEAKER_00: Be honest.
• 7:06
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe it's somebody else, maybe it's circumstances, maybe it's your past.
• 7:11
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe you've even been blaming yourself.
• 7:14
  SPEAKER_00: Now here's the next question.
• 7:16
  SPEAKER_00: What can I do differently?
• 7:18
  SPEAKER_00: Not what should they do differently, what can I do differently?
• 7:23
  SPEAKER_00: That's where everything changes.
• 7:26
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe you can't control whether someone buys from you, but you can control how many people you talk to.
• 7:32
  SPEAKER_00: You can control how prepared you are.
• 7:34
  SPEAKER_00: You can control your attitude.
• 7:36
  SPEAKER_00: You can control whether you follow up.
• 7:39
  SPEAKER_00: You can control whether you improve your skills.
• 7:41
  SPEAKER_00: You can control the energy you bring into the conversation.
• 7:45
  SPEAKER_00: There is almost always something you can do.
• 7:48
  SPEAKER_00: And once you start looking for what you can control, instead of obsessing over what you can't control, something incredible happens.
• 7:56
  SPEAKER_00: You get your power back.
• 7:59
  SPEAKER_00: And here's the part I really want you to remember.
• 8:02
  SPEAKER_00: Taking 100% responsibility for your life doesn't mean you're going to control every outcome.
• 8:09
  SPEAKER_00: You won't.
• 8:10
  SPEAKER_00: Nobody does.
• 8:11
  SPEAKER_00: It means you're going to stop waiting for the world to change before you allow yourself to change.
• 8:16
  SPEAKER_00: You're going to stop saying, I'll be happy when they, I'll succeed when the economy, I'll start when I would be doing better if.
• 8:26
  SPEAKER_00: No.
• 8:27
  SPEAKER_00: What can I do today?
• 8:29
  SPEAKER_00: That's responsibility.
• 8:31
  SPEAKER_00: And I want you to try something.
• 8:33
  SPEAKER_00: For the next seven days, catch yourself every time you complain, every time you blame, every time you make an excuse.
• 8:42
  SPEAKER_00: Don't beat yourself up over it, just notice it.
• 8:45
  SPEAKER_00: And when you catch yourself, ask one question.
• 8:48
  SPEAKER_00: What can I do about it?
• 8:50
  SPEAKER_00: That's it.
• 8:51
  SPEAKER_00: What can I do about it?
• 8:53
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe the answer is something big, maybe it's something incredibly small, but now you're moving again.
• 9:00
  SPEAKER_00: You're no longer waiting for somebody else to hand you your life.
• 9:04
  SPEAKER_00: And imagine what would happen if you started doing this in every area.
• 9:08
  SPEAKER_00: Something doesn't go your way?
• 9:10
  SPEAKER_00: What can I do?
• 9:12
  SPEAKER_00: Someone disappoints you?
• 9:13
  SPEAKER_00: What can I do?
• 9:14
  SPEAKER_00: Business slows down?
• 9:16
  SPEAKER_00: What can I do?
• 9:17
  SPEAKER_00: You make a mistake?
• 9:19
  SPEAKER_00: What can I learn?
• 9:20
  SPEAKER_00: And what can I do differently next time?
• 9:23
  SPEAKER_00: Can you imagine how differently you would begin to experience your life?
• 9:28
  SPEAKER_00: So if you remember nothing else from today's podcast, remember this.
• 9:33
  SPEAKER_00: Taking 100% responsibility isn't about taking 100% of the blame.
• 9:39
  SPEAKER_00: It's about taking 100% ownership of what you do next.
• 9:44
  SPEAKER_00: That's the difference.
• 9:46
  SPEAKER_00: You don't have to control everything that happens.
• 9:49
  SPEAKER_00: You don't need everyone else to change.
• 9:52
  SPEAKER_00: You don't need perfect circumstances.
• 9:55
  SPEAKER_00: You simply need to decide from this moment forward, what am I going to do?
• 10:01
  SPEAKER_00: Because your past may explain where you are.
• 10:04
  SPEAKER_00: Your circumstances may explain where you are.
• 10:08
  SPEAKER_00: Other people may have contributed to where you are.
• 10:11
  SPEAKER_00: But none of those things have to decide where you go next.
• 10:16
  SPEAKER_00: That's your decision.
• 10:17
  SPEAKER_00: And that's what taking 100% responsibility for your life really means.