Latest / Hurdle with Emily Abbate / MOTHERHOOD IN FOCUS: Stephanie Bruce On Humility & The Importance Of A Stellar Support System

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MOTHERHOOD IN FOCUS: Stephanie Bruce On Humility & The Importance Of A Stellar Support System · Hurdle with Emily Abbate

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Speaker 1: I think once I let go of what I considered
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Speaker 1: like mom guilt of Hey, I'm trying to pursue these
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Speaker 1: big dreams and goals, but I also have my two
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Speaker 1: children at home. I'm gonna miss some things in their life.
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Speaker 1: But hopefully when they grow up they look back and say, wow,
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Speaker 1: like my mom was really setting an example of go
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Speaker 1: after your passions, pursue your dreams. Because they realize that
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Speaker 1: fills me with so much purpose, and I can only
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Speaker 1: hope that my boys find something in their life that
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Speaker 1: they're like, truly passionate about pursuing.
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Speaker 2: Hey, everyone, Emily a body back in your feet today
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Speaker 2: with another day of our motherhood in Focus series. This
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Speaker 2: week on the show leading up to Mother's Day, I
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Speaker 2: am chatting with six extraordinary women, some moms not, but
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Speaker 2: each with a story to tell forever, shaped by the
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Speaker 2: woman that came before them. Today, I'm bringing you my
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Speaker 2: conversation with Steph Bruce. She is a professional runner for
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Speaker 2: Hokah's naz Elite. She's also a mother to two little
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Speaker 2: boys and co founder of Pickibars, who happens to be
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Speaker 2: sponsoring this week of content. In addition to that, As
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Speaker 2: if it wasn't enough, She also runs a coaching business
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Speaker 2: alongside her husband called Running with the Bruces, where they
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Speaker 2: live in Black Staff, Arizona. I was amped to talk
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Speaker 2: with Stuff today because she just keeps it real, whether
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Speaker 2: we were chatting about motherhood or running, or injury or
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Speaker 2: her values like she has a beautiful authenticity that I
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Speaker 2: truly appreciate. Steph shares in today's episode what it was
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Speaker 2: like giving birth to her two boys fifteen months apart,
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Speaker 2: not on purpose, and how she felt some shame after
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Speaker 2: unexpectedly getting pregnant with her second all the while hoping
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Speaker 2: to make an Olympic team. We chat about the ten
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Speaker 2: year period in which she's been aiming at that dream
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Speaker 2: and how she stays motivated to go after her goals
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Speaker 2: when things aren't going as she'd hoped. We also get
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Speaker 2: amped about all of the great training that she's been
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Speaker 2: doing lately and how she stayed positive despite facing an
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Speaker 2: injury late last year that had her at times feeling discouraged.
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Speaker 2: Grateful of the Stuff for her time today. I loved
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Speaker 2: this conversation, and I know that there are so many
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Speaker 2: wonderful takeaways for all of you. Also, I know you
2:32
Speaker 2: always listen until the end, but definitely make sure you
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Speaker 2: do this time because the story of her son at
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Speaker 2: the baseball game and the kindness that he exhibited, I
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Speaker 2: literally had goosebumps. It was the sweetest, most beautiful thing.
2:48
Speaker 2: Make sure you're keeping up with Hurdle over on Instagram.
2:51
Speaker 2: It's at Hurdle Podcast and click on in to join
2:54
Speaker 2: us over in the Secret Hurdler's Facebook group. A link
2:57
Speaker 2: to do that is in the show notes. And if
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Speaker 2: you're listening and you aspire to be a marathoner just
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Speaker 2: like Steph, I've got you covered with the upcoming so
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Speaker 2: you want to run a marathon hurdle session there, I'm
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Speaker 2: going to be joined by the ladies of Brave Body Project,
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Speaker 2: Lindsay Cleyon and Amber Reese, and we are going to
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Speaker 2: give you all of the intel you need to slay
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Speaker 2: your first ever thirteen point one or twenty six point
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Speaker 2: two mile race. For more details and everything that you
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Speaker 2: can expect in that seminar, head on over to the
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Speaker 2: show notes. I'm really appreciative for all of your tags
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Speaker 2: over on social this week. I have loved recording these
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Speaker 2: episodes and it seems that y'all are loving them as well,
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Speaker 2: so thanks so so much, with that, let's get to
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Speaker 2: hurdling today. I am sitting down with Stephanie Bruce. She
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Speaker 2: is a professional runner. She's also the founder of Picky Bars. Stuff.
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Speaker 2: How you doing today?
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Speaker 1: I'm doing pretty well, thank you.
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Speaker 2: I was just complimenting stuff. We're on video here, some
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Speaker 2: of you might be seeing some of that, but I
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Speaker 2: am obsessing over her beautiful vaulted ceilings in her living room.
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Speaker 1: We're very fortunate. We feel like we live in like
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Speaker 1: a cabin in the woods in Flagstaff.
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Speaker 2: In Flagstaff, And what's the weather like in Flagstaff right now?
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Speaker 1: It's beautiful. This is like our transition to spring, and
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Speaker 1: so it's like low forties in the morning, so still
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Speaker 1: like that cool crisp where like a cup of hot
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Speaker 1: coffee and sitting by the fire is still beautiful. And
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Speaker 1: then by the afternoon it's like in the high sixties
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Speaker 1: and seventy and for altitude, seventy can feel like really warm.
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Speaker 2: Oh man, seventy we're cusping that here now. And you
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Speaker 2: live in Flagstaff with your husband as well as your
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Speaker 2: two boys, Riley and Hudson. And how long have you
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Speaker 2: been in flag Staff?
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Speaker 1: We've been here about a decade, Yeah, ten years, right,
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Speaker 1: this April. Actually, oh my goodness, and how old are
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Speaker 1: your boys? They are five and six. So Hudson's five,
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Speaker 1: he'll be six in September, and then Riley is six
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Speaker 1: and he'll turn seven in June.
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Speaker 2: And not all that long ago. I mean they're back
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Speaker 2: in school now, is that right? They are?
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Speaker 1: They just went back about a month ago.
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Speaker 2: How is how Tell me, let's recap a little bit
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Speaker 2: on how handling the both of them at home over
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Speaker 2: the last well, i'd say thirteen fourteen months. How was
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Speaker 2: that for you?
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Speaker 1: Sure? I mean I think like the rest of the world,
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Speaker 1: it was just like a very unknown time for us.
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Speaker 1: And you know, at first, like everyone you know, when
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Speaker 1: they were at home was first couple of weeks back
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Speaker 1: in March of twenty twenty, it was like we got this,
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Speaker 1: let's do like kid yoga, let's do pe exercises. Like
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Speaker 1: everyone was gung ho, and we were like we can
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Speaker 1: do it all. And then I think, like five weeks later,
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Speaker 1: everyone's like, Okay, we all can't do this, Like there's
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Speaker 1: no way our kids can be home, there's no way
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Speaker 1: we can work full time, there's no way marriages are
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Speaker 1: going to stay together. It was just like it was chaos.
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Speaker 2: I love I love the reference to kid yoga and
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Speaker 2: that it's like it goes from kid yoga to like
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Speaker 2: screen time is a non issue for sure.
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Speaker 1: Well absolutely, you know, it's interesting. I did a little
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Speaker 1: research like over the last year on you know, the
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Speaker 1: screen time that the kids were being forced. I say
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Speaker 1: forced because when schools shut down and then iPads became
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Speaker 1: available and that's how they were learning. You know, give
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Speaker 1: it up to teachers and administrators, that's what made sense.
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Speaker 1: But personally, like to have a five and six year
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Speaker 1: old on an iPad all day was so unsustainable for
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Speaker 1: our family, and I saw that in like behavioral patterns,
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Speaker 1: Like my oldest son, Riley, had some days where he
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Speaker 1: was like destructive in his room. He was drawing on
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Speaker 1: like our desk and he just kind of lost his mind.
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Speaker 1: And I'm like, I bet he's frustrated because he's on
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Speaker 1: a screen. You can't see his teacher and is you know, classmates,
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Speaker 1: but he can't express it. And so, like, my heart
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Speaker 1: really hurt for our children and for what they were
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Speaker 1: going through. But at the same time, it was no
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Speaker 1: one's fault, you know, you couldn't what else were the
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Speaker 1: teachers going to do they everyone was trying to learn
7:16
Speaker 1: like a whole new teaching system. I'm sure the teachers
7:19
Speaker 1: who were in their forties, fifties and sixties had no
7:22
Speaker 1: idea how to teach online. So I feel like we
7:24
Speaker 1: were all just like adapting and pivoting. And that's what
7:28
Speaker 1: kind of that this year felt like. It was like, Okay,
7:31
Speaker 1: like let's get presented with the challenges and how are
7:33
Speaker 1: we going to make it work? Adapt and then pivot.
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Speaker 1: And I think fortunately for what I do, being a
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Speaker 1: professional runner and a business owner, and Ben and I
7:42
Speaker 1: are essentially stay at home parents on top of like
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Speaker 1: what we do, we had the fortune of being able
7:48
Speaker 1: to not be affected too much by the pandemic. We
7:52
Speaker 1: had childcare help, you know, we had the financial resources
7:55
Speaker 1: to do it. But it also so it gave you
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Speaker 1: a deeper perspective and how the rest of the country
8:01
Speaker 1: and the rest of the world, like we're in really
8:04
Speaker 1: a bad place, and it kind of opens your eyes
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Speaker 1: to see that other people don't always experience the things
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Speaker 1: that you do. So learned a lot of empathy and
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Speaker 1: compassion for people, I think during the pandemic.
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Speaker 2: And you mentioned being really grateful that your training hadn't
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Speaker 2: been super impacted. Talk to me about your training and
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Speaker 2: how running has been for you over the last thirteen
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Speaker 2: fourteen months.
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Speaker 1: Sure, So, like I said, you know, when our races
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Speaker 1: obviously got shut down. The last race I ran was
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Speaker 1: the Olympic Marathon trials, and that went off somehow. I
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Speaker 1: look back and we're like, how did we get away
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Speaker 1: with that? But it was February twenty ninth, but that
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Speaker 1: was the last competition. And then about two weeks later
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Speaker 1: is essentially when everything shut down. And after that it
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Speaker 1: was more okay, there are no races on the calendar,
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Speaker 1: but like we still are able to go outside train.
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Speaker 1: Our team shut down like practice with one another, just
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Speaker 1: when we were so uncertain if we should be practicing
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Speaker 1: with each other. So we were all on our own
9:05
Speaker 1: for about six to seven weeks. But the beauty of
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Speaker 1: what we do is I could still run out my
9:10
Speaker 1: door and there was no danger and no threat, and
9:13
Speaker 1: we had open roads everywhere, so it wasn't crowded here.
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Speaker 1: So in a sense I was able to put in
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Speaker 1: like some really hard training weeks last April May June,
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Speaker 1: and then we found out the Olympics were canceled. So
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Speaker 1: the Olympic trials were canceled, so then everything just became
9:30
Speaker 1: like a postponement. And so at that time, besides running
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Speaker 1: being my job, it was kind of also like this
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Speaker 1: is what fills me with purpose And in a time
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Speaker 1: where everything was so unknown and you feel really vulnerable
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Speaker 1: because you don't have control over a lot, like I
9:47
Speaker 1: still had control over the effort that I was putting
9:50
Speaker 1: in my training. So yeah, I trained really hard and
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Speaker 1: I got a lot of benefit out of the few
9:56
Speaker 1: months blocks that we put in. We were kind of
9:58
Speaker 1: pretending that the Olympic trials were happening, so we almost
10:01
Speaker 1: build up for that in a way, so then we
10:03
Speaker 1: would know what to do a year later when hopefully
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Speaker 1: the trials and Olympics were happening, which brings us to now. Yeah,
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Speaker 1: and then I think what I tried to do is
10:13
Speaker 1: like using my platform being in the running community, to
10:16
Speaker 1: help other people that might have felt lost, or might
10:19
Speaker 1: have felt hopeless or despair through the pandemic, and just
10:23
Speaker 1: use what skills I could to connect via social media
10:26
Speaker 1: via the internet. Yeah, just to keep people going that
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Speaker 1: maybe head straight off the path or needed some extra motivation.
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Speaker 2: There are so many things I love about the bio
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Speaker 2: that's on your website. And it's funny as I hear
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Speaker 2: myself say these words, because sometimes someone goes to reference,
10:44
Speaker 2: like what's on my website, and I have a moment
10:46
Speaker 2: where I'm like, almost the last time I touched that,
10:48
Speaker 2: Like do I like what's on my website? But I'm
10:50
Speaker 2: gonna compliment you and tell you that one of the
10:54
Speaker 2: things that I love you right that for you, it's
10:57
Speaker 2: about sharing the journey from start to finish with all
10:59
Speaker 2: of a messy in between. And I think that this year,
11:03
Speaker 2: it's it's been a series of all of that for
11:06
Speaker 2: so many and it's so great to hear for you
11:09
Speaker 2: that running was going so well, but for some like
11:12
Speaker 2: being injured or just dealing with the stress of the
11:15
Speaker 2: year and like that not playing out how they wished
11:18
Speaker 2: in their athletics, Like I'm sure you had directed with
11:20
Speaker 2: so many individuals that just felt just like that, like
11:24
Speaker 2: just a complete mess.
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Speaker 1: Yeah. I mean, I would say the majority of people
11:28
Speaker 1: were suffering from that, and they couldn't go and see therapists,
11:32
Speaker 1: they couldn't get treatment. And I tried to remind my
11:35
Speaker 1: like remind people that were like how do you stay
11:38
Speaker 1: motivated and I was like, remember, like I get paid
11:40
Speaker 1: to do this for a living, so like I have
11:42
Speaker 1: the privilege of all these things like being at my fingertips,
11:46
Speaker 1: I could see my therapists, or we had ways to
11:50
Speaker 1: like get into a gym that had like one one
11:53
Speaker 1: person at a time. You know, like we had all
11:55
Speaker 1: these opportunities, and I know that the majority of people didn't.
11:59
Speaker 1: So I kind of tried to remind people, like give
12:01
Speaker 1: yourself a break and realize you're probably doing more than
12:04
Speaker 1: you think, and you're doing better than you think. And
12:07
Speaker 1: then you know, same thing for like parents who are
12:09
Speaker 1: at home trying to balance raising their kids, be a teacher,
12:13
Speaker 1: be a mom, be a dad. You know, you saw
12:17
Speaker 1: what it did to mothers, especially like so many mothers
12:21
Speaker 1: just like left their jobs because they had to you know,
12:23
Speaker 1: be at home, or single parents who were trying to
12:26
Speaker 1: do it all. So I think I played a really
12:29
Speaker 1: small part in what I could do, you know, for
12:32
Speaker 1: the better minute people around me. But that's kind of
12:34
Speaker 1: been my motto in life. It's like it's not worth
12:36
Speaker 1: pursuing all these different dreams and goals and visions unless
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Speaker 1: you have people that you either can share the success
12:43
Speaker 1: with or that you can bring with you along the way,
12:46
Speaker 1: and I think that's that's what keeps me motivated to
12:49
Speaker 1: keep working hard and keep striving to be the very
12:52
Speaker 1: best version of myself.
12:54
Speaker 2: Something else that you mentioned in your bio would be
12:58
Speaker 2: that you had your two toddler boys born fifteen months apart.
13:03
Speaker 2: And this part is the part not on purpose. So
13:06
Speaker 2: talk me through a little bit about the point in
13:09
Speaker 2: your life where you got pregnant with your first son
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Speaker 2: and where you were in your career at that point
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Speaker 2: as well.
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Speaker 1: Yeah, so you know, for any professional athlete, there is
13:19
Speaker 1: a little bit of luck and a little bit of
13:21
Speaker 1: timing and planning that we do. So for the most part,
13:24
Speaker 1: we look at Olympic cycles, which are every four years,
13:27
Speaker 1: and honestly, that's what the media, that's what the fans,
13:31
Speaker 1: that's what the public is so enamored with or obsessed with, like, oh,
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Speaker 1: the Olympics every four years, but they forget Like for us,
13:39
Speaker 1: there's a there's many things along the way and many races,
13:42
Speaker 1: many accomplishments, but just the Olympics become like highlightings and
13:48
Speaker 1: so there's a microscope almost like more on that every
13:51
Speaker 1: four years. So around twenty twelve, you know, we started
13:55
Speaker 1: to look ahead and be like, Okay, I think twenty sixteen,
13:58
Speaker 1: like could really be my shot to make the Olympic
14:00
Speaker 1: team in the marathon. But my husband and I had
14:03
Speaker 1: been together for seven to eight years, and we were like,
14:06
Speaker 1: I really want to start a family. I don't want
14:08
Speaker 1: to have to choose between I think you can do both.
14:12
Speaker 1: And you're seeing now women like Alicia Montano, who founded
14:17
Speaker 1: an organization called ann Mother is showing that you don't
14:19
Speaker 1: have to choose between being a champion and a mother.
14:22
Speaker 1: You can do both. So back when I was making
14:24
Speaker 1: that choice, I just said, hey, let's see if we
14:27
Speaker 1: could have our first child in twenty fourteen, and then
14:30
Speaker 1: I would basically be ready two years later to give
14:33
Speaker 1: the trials a go. And so everything worked out pretty great.
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Speaker 1: We got pregnant right away and my son, Riley, was
14:42
Speaker 1: born June twenty fourteen, and so I was like, awesome,
14:44
Speaker 1: I have about eighteen nineteen months before the Olympic trials
14:48
Speaker 1: and the marathon, and then I was breastfeeding and kind
14:51
Speaker 1: of getting back into training very slowly because I had
14:54
Speaker 1: a pretty hard childbirth with him and delivery, and around
14:59
Speaker 1: six months post pardum, I remember like training kind of
15:02
Speaker 1: like took a turn for the worst and I was
15:04
Speaker 1: in a slump, and I'm like, I just don't feel right,
15:07
Speaker 1: Like maybe I'm anemic. Maybe this isn't as easy as
15:11
Speaker 1: I thought. And then we got a little surprised and
15:14
Speaker 1: found out I was pregnant with my second son, Hudson,
15:18
Speaker 1: and I kind of use that quote life happens when
15:20
Speaker 1: you're busy making other plans, because I had envision like
15:24
Speaker 1: getting back for the twenty sixteen Olympic Trials and being
15:28
Speaker 1: on that start line, and then now I was six
15:32
Speaker 1: months postpartum, pregnant again, and I was going to have
15:36
Speaker 1: another child five months before the Olympic Trials. But I
15:41
Speaker 1: stubbornly believe like I could do it. I'm like, I
15:44
Speaker 1: know I'm going to have two babies. I know I'm
15:45
Speaker 1: going to be up against it, and maybe the odds
15:48
Speaker 1: are stacked against me, but I think I can do it.
15:51
Speaker 1: And then it took about all the way to a
15:54
Speaker 1: month before the trials where I was on a run
15:57
Speaker 1: and I was still having a little pelvic pain postpartum,
16:01
Speaker 1: and I just said Stephanie, like, this, ain't it. You're
16:04
Speaker 1: jeopardizing the future of your career because you're so attached
16:08
Speaker 1: to this dream and goal that you thought was supposed
16:10
Speaker 1: to be the plan. But I don't think you're supposed
16:12
Speaker 1: to be on that start line because at that point
16:15
Speaker 1: in my career, I wasn't interested in just showing up
16:17
Speaker 1: like I wanted to make the team, but I knew
16:20
Speaker 1: all the work other women had been putting in, and
16:23
Speaker 1: I was like, I'm breastfeeding. I have a five month
16:25
Speaker 1: old and a twenty month old child, so I don't
16:30
Speaker 1: think it's in the cards for me. But it was
16:32
Speaker 1: a blessing in disguise because now I have a five
16:35
Speaker 1: and six year old who are best friends, and you
16:37
Speaker 1: could say I'm in the prime of my career.
16:41
Speaker 2: The tenacity and like the bravery in that story are
16:45
Speaker 2: both so beautiful, and it would be I'd be remiss
16:50
Speaker 2: if I didn't ask you about that mental battle that
16:55
Speaker 2: you had to fight coming to terms with that with yourself.
16:59
Speaker 2: How did you get through that? What were the conversations,
17:02
Speaker 2: like how did you shift the inner dialogue? Because I'm
17:05
Speaker 2: sure that at points it was pretty negative.
17:08
Speaker 1: To be honest, I don't talk about it very much,
17:11
Speaker 1: but I do have a lot of shame when I
17:14
Speaker 1: think back to when I got pregnant with Hudson, because
17:18
Speaker 1: my initial reaction was not excitement, and it's very shameful
17:22
Speaker 1: to admit as a woman that like that. My first
17:25
Speaker 1: reaction was like, I can't do this. I can't have
17:28
Speaker 1: another child, Like I have a six month old and
17:30
Speaker 1: I'm in the trenches and my body is so wrecked.
17:35
Speaker 1: And yeah, it's very hard to admit that. Because once
17:39
Speaker 1: I like got moved past that and realized I can
17:43
Speaker 1: handle it, and like, this is supposed to be like
17:46
Speaker 1: in the cards or in the plans for me. You know,
17:49
Speaker 1: obviously Hudson's born, and I'm like, I can't imagine my
17:52
Speaker 1: life ever existing without him. But like I said, there's
17:56
Speaker 1: shame a little bit in that initial like guilt and
17:59
Speaker 1: reaction what I had. So I think when I got
18:02
Speaker 1: to the point of letting go of that initial dream,
18:06
Speaker 1: I just realized dreams look different. They look different, and
18:10
Speaker 1: they have a different timeline than sometimes you think. But
18:14
Speaker 1: that doesn't mean the dreams are invalid, or it doesn't
18:17
Speaker 1: mean that the dreams can't happen. They just might like
18:19
Speaker 1: appear or show up differently in your timeline. So I
18:23
Speaker 1: really just had to like look within, look within myself
18:26
Speaker 1: and realize, like, even though I was attached to this
18:30
Speaker 1: one idea, you know, my life was meant to take
18:33
Speaker 1: another trajectory.
18:34
Speaker 2: I guess thank you for sharing that. I also know
18:38
Speaker 2: that you certainly struggled post baby. I mean, two babies
18:43
Speaker 2: back to back. What a time for you? What a
18:46
Speaker 2: time for your body? I mean mentally and physically, And
18:51
Speaker 2: you shared pretty openly about that on social media. So
18:54
Speaker 2: talk to us about first of all, like the recovery
18:59
Speaker 2: from Hudson, and then second of all, when you got
19:02
Speaker 2: to a place where you were like, let's talk about
19:05
Speaker 2: this in a public way.
19:10
Speaker 1: Yeah, I think I don't even know if it was
19:12
Speaker 1: the recovery from Hudson, but it was almost I was
19:15
Speaker 1: still recovering from Riley. Riley was nine pounds and his
19:21
Speaker 1: head was in the ninetieth percentile, and I had a
19:24
Speaker 1: natural birth with him. But the problem is he was
19:28
Speaker 1: faced the wrong way, so he was sort of stuck
19:31
Speaker 1: in the birth canal. But he was not under any
19:34
Speaker 1: distress like I think of him now. He was like, yeah,
19:37
Speaker 1: I'm just hanging out like there's no rush. But it
19:40
Speaker 1: was like extremely painful for me, and it ended up
19:43
Speaker 1: putting me in a position where I was pushing. I
19:45
Speaker 1: was in the pushing phase for about five hours, which
19:48
Speaker 1: is pretty abnormal for delivery. But at that point, like
19:52
Speaker 1: I didn't really have any options. I was past the
19:53
Speaker 1: point of being able to have any drugs, and the
19:57
Speaker 1: C section like wasn't necessary because he was doing fine.
20:00
Speaker 1: So I think because that delivery was so traumatic on me,
20:05
Speaker 1: it was almost like once I got pregnant with Hudson,
20:08
Speaker 1: I like forgot everything I had just gone through and
20:10
Speaker 1: I wasn't able to repair anything or take the time,
20:13
Speaker 1: and so then my body was like okay, steal back up,
20:16
Speaker 1: like let's get ready for another baby. And then Hudson's
20:20
Speaker 1: delivery was really great. But then once like a few
20:23
Speaker 1: weeks after, it was almost like the can of worms
20:26
Speaker 1: was open to be like, oh, well, you're not getting
20:29
Speaker 1: away with like what happened with Riley. So I think
20:32
Speaker 1: I had I've experienced like a lot of incontinents. I
20:36
Speaker 1: had prolapse, and then I started to see like the
20:39
Speaker 1: separation in my abs, which I began to understand as
20:43
Speaker 1: diacesis RECTI, and I was putting the connection between incontinents,
20:48
Speaker 1: my app separation, pelvic pain back pain, and I was like, Okay,
20:52
Speaker 1: this is all connected, but like who's helping me? You know,
20:56
Speaker 1: and you're gynecologist, bless them. They see you after seven
20:59
Speaker 1: weeks and they're like, yep, everything looks great, like send
21:02
Speaker 1: you on your way. But there's just this huge hole
21:06
Speaker 1: between giving birth, senior gynecologists, and then the rest of
21:09
Speaker 1: your life. So once I started to understand that, and
21:12
Speaker 1: I was like, well, I'm a professional athlete, like trying
21:15
Speaker 1: to make it back to like the highest level of sport.
21:17
Speaker 1: What are just like moms who are not athletes who
21:21
Speaker 1: are just giving birth, Like how are they looking at
21:23
Speaker 1: their bodies? Are they confused? Are they in pain? Is
21:27
Speaker 1: anyone helping them? And that is what sort of inspired
21:30
Speaker 1: me to share my journey because I was like, if
21:32
Speaker 1: I can use my platform to share, like yeah, you
21:35
Speaker 1: guys might see me running like five forty miles for
21:39
Speaker 1: the marathon, but like, I still pee my pants and
21:42
Speaker 1: I'm still struggling with this. I think it just brought
21:45
Speaker 1: me down to the level where they could identify it
21:47
Speaker 1: didn't matter what your speed was or what your athletic ability.
21:51
Speaker 1: We all had gone through this huge traumatic event, which
21:55
Speaker 1: is a beautiful event. Childbirth, but yeah, no one kind
21:58
Speaker 1: of helps us along the way in that recovery process.
22:02
Speaker 2: And just like normalizing that conversation, right, So again for
22:06
Speaker 2: someone who you don't need to be running these five
22:09
Speaker 2: forty somethingter miles to be like, wow, I just feel
22:12
Speaker 2: like I'm in such a foreign space, like not feeling
22:15
Speaker 2: even at home in your body, and normalizing the conversation
22:18
Speaker 2: that it's okay to feel that way. And again, like
22:21
Speaker 2: you're not the only person that feels that way. And
22:24
Speaker 2: I was having a conversation with someone the other day,
22:27
Speaker 2: and I think it was in the UK. They were
22:29
Speaker 2: saying that maybe you get like a handful of consults
22:32
Speaker 2: with your kynecologist and like the weeks and months that
22:36
Speaker 2: follow having a baby, whereas, like, as you said, in
22:38
Speaker 2: the US, like that's just not a thing.
22:42
Speaker 1: No, everywhere else does. I mean I hate saying this
22:45
Speaker 1: because I you know, I love where we live and
22:47
Speaker 1: the opportunities we have, But everywhere else does it better
22:50
Speaker 1: when it comes to healthcare, And yeah, what you are
22:53
Speaker 1: providing the cost of just having a child in the
22:57
Speaker 1: US versus other countries. I mean, it's it's really insane.
23:00
Speaker 1: Like I felt like I was penalized for a healthy birth,
23:05
Speaker 1: Like I didn't use any drugs with Riley, and we
23:08
Speaker 1: had very minimal insurance because I was a professional athlete
23:11
Speaker 1: and like an independent contractor, and my birth was twenty
23:15
Speaker 1: thousand dollars. And it was just when I got that bill,
23:19
Speaker 1: I was like, what, I didn't use any drugs and
23:22
Speaker 1: I did everything natural, and that was still like the
23:25
Speaker 1: cost that it just floored me. So I could only imagine, Yeah,
23:30
Speaker 1: what the toll that that could have on people and families.
23:34
Speaker 2: I mean, hearing that, my first thought is like that
23:36
Speaker 2: is like could be two cars for a family, like
23:39
Speaker 2: twenty thousand dollars.
23:41
Speaker 1: You know, it's crazy.
23:42
Speaker 2: Yeah, oh my gosh, oh my goodness. Well, as you said,
23:46
Speaker 2: now you have two healthy boys and you are, as
23:51
Speaker 2: you also said, arguably in the prime of your career.
23:55
Speaker 2: So do you have any tips that you would offer
23:57
Speaker 2: when it comes to quote unquote juggling both going after
24:01
Speaker 2: these athletic pursuits and being the best mom that you
24:05
Speaker 2: can to your boys.
24:09
Speaker 1: There's no secret I wish there was. You need help
24:13
Speaker 1: and you need support, and I'm very fortunate to have that.
24:16
Speaker 1: You know, athletically, I've had the support of Hoka for
24:20
Speaker 1: the last five to six years, and they paid me
24:23
Speaker 1: through pregnancy. You know, they never forced me to come back.
24:26
Speaker 1: They never cut my contract, which is very unusual in
24:29
Speaker 1: the professional running world. But I think they are kind
24:32
Speaker 1: of setting the tone and standard for what can be
24:35
Speaker 1: done because they saw value in the fact that, well,
24:39
Speaker 1: let's give her a chance and let's see, like if
24:41
Speaker 1: she can come back, and then the better you come back,
24:43
Speaker 1: the more that it incentivizes them to realize, Okay, like
24:47
Speaker 1: women can take a break in the middle of their
24:49
Speaker 1: careers and they're not totally done, but we do need
24:52
Speaker 1: the support, you know, and the financial means to do so.
24:55
Speaker 1: And then yeah, like my team coach Ben and Jen
24:58
Speaker 1: Rosario took a chance on me realizing could she come
25:01
Speaker 1: back from pregnancy and be the best, you know, athletically,
25:06
Speaker 1: And then having my husband Ben kind of do everything
25:10
Speaker 1: fifty to fifty. I mean, we're both like, like I said, say,
25:13
Speaker 1: at home parents, and he does all the cooking in
25:16
Speaker 1: our house, like he gets our meals. He helps coordinating
25:20
Speaker 1: getting the boys to school when I'm going to practice.
25:22
Speaker 1: He's also the official pacer of our team. He helps
25:26
Speaker 1: manage like the different coaching business we have running with
25:30
Speaker 1: the Bruces, he's been involved with piggy bars. So the
25:36
Speaker 1: truth of it is, you can't do it alone and
25:38
Speaker 1: you have to have that support system. And that's really
25:41
Speaker 1: the only way that I've been able to get to
25:43
Speaker 1: where I'm at today and have the opportunity to even
25:46
Speaker 1: have the success that I feel like I'm having.
25:49
Speaker 2: How do you let go of some of maybe the
25:52
Speaker 2: expectations or the hopes that you would have knowing that
25:55
Speaker 2: you literally can't do it all.
25:58
Speaker 1: I just have this conversation and letting go of expectation
26:02
Speaker 1: that moms, women should feel guilty when they ask for help,
26:08
Speaker 1: because we realized there was this like dichotomy of Okay,
26:13
Speaker 1: so if you have a baby, then why do you
26:15
Speaker 1: need childcare? Shouldn't you just not work? And shouldn't you
26:17
Speaker 1: just stay home with your baby? Like why do you
26:19
Speaker 1: want to have a baby if you want to have
26:21
Speaker 1: a job or a career. So I think it's kind
26:24
Speaker 1: of just getting rid of those like norms or the
26:27
Speaker 1: social contructs constructs that have existed for so long and
26:32
Speaker 1: realizing you can be multifaceted. You know, moms can stay
26:37
Speaker 1: at home, dads can stay at home, you know, same
26:40
Speaker 1: sex marriages, like there's so many different ways that a
26:43
Speaker 1: family can look and realizing you don't have to fit
26:47
Speaker 1: into a box. And I think once I let go
26:50
Speaker 1: of what I considered like mom guilt of Hey, I'm
26:53
Speaker 1: trying to pursue these big dreams and goals, but I
26:56
Speaker 1: also have my two children at home. I'm going to
26:59
Speaker 1: miss something in their life. But hopefully when they grow
27:02
Speaker 1: up they look back and say, wow, like my mom
27:04
Speaker 1: was really setting an example of go after your passions,
27:08
Speaker 1: pursue your dreams, because they realize like that fills me
27:12
Speaker 1: with so much purpose. And I can only hope that
27:15
Speaker 1: my boys find something in their life that they're like
27:19
Speaker 1: truly passionate about pursuing.
27:21
Speaker 2: I think something that's been really special this week as
27:24
Speaker 2: I talk to so many different women, is just this
27:27
Speaker 2: takeaway that your children or your child like they're watching you.
27:32
Speaker 2: So what you're saying about living your life with purpose
27:35
Speaker 2: and finding something that fulfills you, it's just as important
27:39
Speaker 2: as it could be to you know, from one person's
27:42
Speaker 2: point of view, be there all the time as it
27:44
Speaker 2: is for you to come home and walk into this
27:46
Speaker 2: house with so much satisfaction and pride and who it
27:49
Speaker 2: is that you are and what you are doing and
27:52
Speaker 2: who you are becoming continuously as a role model for them.
27:55
Speaker 2: Something I would love to touch on with you as
27:58
Speaker 2: long as I have you is dealing with injury, because
28:01
Speaker 2: I feel like it kind of goes hand in hand
28:03
Speaker 2: with that conversation we're having around the idea of compassion.
28:06
Speaker 2: I know that over you know, the last twelve fourteen months,
28:11
Speaker 2: as you've been on this build up and excelling, you've
28:14
Speaker 2: also been navigating times where you had to take a
28:17
Speaker 2: step back and kind of take a chill pill. So
28:19
Speaker 2: what advice would you have to offer to someone who's
28:22
Speaker 2: approaching a similar hurdle moment in their time right now?
28:25
Speaker 2: How have you kept that conversation positive and moved forward
28:29
Speaker 2: trusting the process when your body has hit some of
28:32
Speaker 2: those hurdles along the way.
28:33
Speaker 1: I think you need to have that zoom out lens.
28:36
Speaker 1: So zooming out meaning every time something happens to us
28:40
Speaker 1: in our life, we think it's the worst thing ever.
28:42
Speaker 1: We think we're the only ones that experiencing it. It's
28:45
Speaker 1: never going to end, you know, we catastrophize it, size
28:48
Speaker 1: it a bit, and like a running injury specifically, you're
28:51
Speaker 1: like I'll never get out of pain. I'll never get
28:53
Speaker 1: back to where I was. And I did that like
28:56
Speaker 1: a little bit this last December when I was diagnosed
28:59
Speaker 1: with inner fasciitis. And then here I am, you know,
29:03
Speaker 1: five months later, and I just came off running a
29:05
Speaker 1: personal best in the half marathon because I think I
29:08
Speaker 1: got over like having that pity party for myself and
29:11
Speaker 1: realizing this isn't the end, this is just a roadblock,
29:15
Speaker 1: and you sort of ask yourself like why do we
29:18
Speaker 1: face obstacles in our life? And why do we have challenges?
29:21
Speaker 1: And I think they're just a test and they're teaching
29:24
Speaker 1: us like to grow, And so I always try to
29:27
Speaker 1: search and be like what can I learn from this,
29:29
Speaker 1: Like did I do something wrong in training? Was I
29:33
Speaker 1: obviously injuries come from stress? Was I stressed physically from training?
29:37
Speaker 1: Was I stressed mentally and that creeped into my body?
29:40
Speaker 1: So injuries are actually a really great like to give
29:43
Speaker 1: you like a self reflection to be like, Okay, what's
29:46
Speaker 1: going on in my life? Where do I need to
29:49
Speaker 1: show up more or be present? Yeah? Advice for people,
29:52
Speaker 1: I would just try to like let yourself off the
29:55
Speaker 1: hook a little. If an injury does happen and realize, hey,
29:58
Speaker 1: it's probably your body's way of saying I need a
30:00
Speaker 1: break from something, and then figuring out going forward, how
30:05
Speaker 1: can I make sure this doesn't happen again.
30:09
Speaker 2: Essentially taking a break from today's episode to give some
30:20
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30:23
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Speaker 2: yummy real food snacks in fuel. Obviously, as you're saying here,
32:02
Speaker 2: injuries teach you a big lesson from time to time.
32:06
Speaker 2: So does motherhood. When you look at the past for
32:10
Speaker 2: five years of being a mom, if you had to
32:13
Speaker 2: reiterate maybe one or two of the biggest lessons, and
32:16
Speaker 2: I know that just reiterating one or two is like
32:18
Speaker 2: asking you to like, I don't know, say the alphabet
32:20
Speaker 2: backwards off the top of your head. But if you
32:22
Speaker 2: had to reiterate one or two, what do you think
32:25
Speaker 2: you'd lead into?
32:26
Speaker 1: You know, I think what I have learned is our
32:29
Speaker 1: children offer us a mirror into ourselves. So sometimes like
32:34
Speaker 1: they ask questions that they're just learning about the world,
32:37
Speaker 1: and then when you have to answer, you're like, well,
32:40
Speaker 1: how would I answer that? You know, it starts with
32:42
Speaker 1: like why is the sky blue? And then it progresses
32:45
Speaker 1: to where do babies come from? And you're like, dad,
32:48
Speaker 1: come on in for this question, you know, But then
32:51
Speaker 1: they get then they get like they get serious in
32:54
Speaker 1: a lot of ways. You know. I think when there
32:57
Speaker 1: was a lot of unrest in the country of the
32:59
Speaker 1: last couple of months and we're driving by marches and
33:02
Speaker 1: they're asking, mom, what does black lives matter mean? And
33:05
Speaker 1: then I explain that to them, and you have to
33:07
Speaker 1: start to explain things like racism, and then they're just
33:11
Speaker 1: all these complexities that you're like, it makes you like
33:16
Speaker 1: really like shine a light on yourself and say, how
33:20
Speaker 1: would I answer these questions? And they're just coming from
33:23
Speaker 1: innocent five and six year old children. But in a
33:26
Speaker 1: way like it's a privilege to be able to answer
33:29
Speaker 1: those questions because I am shaping their world, and when
33:33
Speaker 1: I look at like the bad things that happen in
33:35
Speaker 1: our country, you almost want to be like, could you
33:38
Speaker 1: dumb it back to like what people are learning in
33:41
Speaker 1: their homes, and if we could teach everyone the right
33:44
Speaker 1: things to do, would all these awful things be happening?
33:47
Speaker 1: And I'd like to believe no, because I'd like to
33:50
Speaker 1: believe humanity can find a way to teach the right
33:54
Speaker 1: things to our children. So then they grow up and
33:56
Speaker 1: when they're presented with those challenges, they think back, Okay,
33:59
Speaker 1: this is what I learned from mom and dad, and
34:02
Speaker 1: this is how I'm going to show up, you know,
34:03
Speaker 1: as a good human being out in the world.
34:06
Speaker 2: What a beautiful perspective, I mean, what an amazing takeaway,
34:10
Speaker 2: amazing takeaway from what you've learned being a mom. When
34:13
Speaker 2: you reflect now on perhaps some of the advice that
34:17
Speaker 2: you have exchanged with moms over these past thirteen fourteen months,
34:22
Speaker 2: anything come to mind of something that's been super helpful
34:25
Speaker 2: and helping you get.
34:25
Speaker 1: By for sure? Yeah, I mean I think just like
34:30
Speaker 1: it's more that like giving yourself that break, because it
34:34
Speaker 1: does it can feel really overwhelming, you know, being a
34:37
Speaker 1: parent and answering questions and thinking am I doing enough?
34:41
Speaker 1: Am I showing up for them? Am I balance in
34:44
Speaker 1: our household? Do they have like food on the table,
34:48
Speaker 1: Do they feel loved? Are they showing other people kindness?
34:51
Speaker 1: Because you let them out in school and you're like,
34:54
Speaker 1: how are Riley and Hudson treating other people? Like I
34:56
Speaker 1: know how we're treating them, And you just hope they're
34:59
Speaker 1: taking all the good that we're teaching them and they're
35:02
Speaker 1: they're showing up in the world that way. But it's
35:04
Speaker 1: scary because you don't know that, and you realize you
35:07
Speaker 1: can't protect them from everything. So sometimes it is just
35:12
Speaker 1: like taking a deep breath and realizing, hey, I can't
35:15
Speaker 1: control everything. I can just put in the best effort
35:18
Speaker 1: and try to be the best version of myself each day,
35:21
Speaker 1: and that might look differently, like some days the best
35:24
Speaker 1: version might be twenty percent of Stephanie, and then another
35:28
Speaker 1: day I might be like, I am nailing this day.
35:30
Speaker 1: Here's one hundred and ten percent Stephanie. But realizing that's
35:34
Speaker 1: so fluid, and that has taught me about like mental health,
35:38
Speaker 1: because the mental health component, as I've seen with family
35:42
Speaker 1: members that have struggled, you know, when they fall into
35:45
Speaker 1: the comparison trap and they think they're not achieving what
35:49
Speaker 1: they should be compared to their peers. Or people at
35:52
Speaker 1: their age, it can get really dangerous and scary. So
35:56
Speaker 1: just finding that like self fulfillment and realize we have
36:01
Speaker 1: a lot more control like over our happiness than we think,
36:05
Speaker 1: and to not let that external pressure really really like
36:10
Speaker 1: affect us as much as it can.
36:13
Speaker 2: You mentioned the word comparison, and I think this obviously
36:17
Speaker 2: kind of like brings us into highlight real territory and Instagram.
36:21
Speaker 2: I mean, being someone who definitely found a platform on
36:24
Speaker 2: Instagram and was able to connect with other women and
36:27
Speaker 2: talk about the things that you're going through. I'll bite messy.
36:31
Speaker 2: How do you kind of pick and choose your battle,
36:34
Speaker 2: so to speak of when it's a helpful tool and
36:37
Speaker 2: when you might need to kind of walk away from
36:39
Speaker 2: it for a little bit.
36:43
Speaker 1: To be honest, I don't ever feel like I need
36:45
Speaker 1: to walk away from it because I have a really
36:47
Speaker 1: healthy attachment to my self worth has my self worth
36:53
Speaker 1: has nothing to do with my times and races, my performances,
36:57
Speaker 1: my social media followers. My self worth has to do
37:00
Speaker 1: with what do the people in my immediate circle think
37:03
Speaker 1: about me? Am I being a good wife? Am I
37:05
Speaker 1: being a good mother? Am I being a good daughter,
37:08
Speaker 1: A good best friend? You know those people's opinions. I
37:11
Speaker 1: always say I care about the people's opinions, whose opinion
37:16
Speaker 1: I would ask? So when you think about that, like,
37:18
Speaker 1: you would never ask someone randomly on social media, how
37:22
Speaker 1: do you think I'm doing in life? Or do you
37:23
Speaker 1: think of me? I think I'm a good runner. No,
37:26
Speaker 1: you would never ask that. But you can look at
37:31
Speaker 1: you can look at social media as a positive way
37:33
Speaker 1: to connect people that are like minded than you. People
37:37
Speaker 1: that want to make the effort, people that want to
37:39
Speaker 1: learn how to start their own business, people that want
37:41
Speaker 1: to be part of social change, people that want to
37:45
Speaker 1: like improve their running, people that need help with like
37:49
Speaker 1: tips and parenting. So I just I use it as
37:52
Speaker 1: a vessel for good. And the only negative is if
37:55
Speaker 1: I think you let the opinions of people that don't
37:58
Speaker 1: really matter to you affect you on a daily basis.
38:01
Speaker 1: And I'll be honest, I just I feel bad for
38:04
Speaker 1: those people. People that come on social media and are
38:06
Speaker 1: negative and have bad things to say, they must be
38:08
Speaker 1: in a really bad place. So it it never I
38:11
Speaker 1: never take it personal. I just think, hey, you know,
38:14
Speaker 1: I wish them the best and I wish they can
38:16
Speaker 1: they can find their own happiness or purpose.
38:18
Speaker 2: What a beautiful answer, And in that answer you highlighted
38:22
Speaker 2: things that you do and roles that you have from
38:25
Speaker 2: mother to runner to business owner, philanthropists, like just so
38:29
Speaker 2: many things that you're doing. Out of all of the
38:33
Speaker 2: things in the multi hyphen it that often follows your name,
38:37
Speaker 2: what would you say perhaps excites you the most right now?
38:42
Speaker 1: Well, I'm depending on when this comes out. I'm about
38:45
Speaker 1: seven weeks from the Olympic track trials and I'm trying
38:49
Speaker 1: to make my first Olympic team, which I've been trying
38:51
Speaker 1: for ten years. But you know, that's what all eyes
38:54
Speaker 1: are focused on right now. And then we had some
38:57
Speaker 1: exciting news about Picky Bars come out recently, and then
39:02
Speaker 1: I don't know, like it's hard to pinpoint one. But
39:05
Speaker 1: the way I'm looking at it is I know that
39:07
Speaker 1: I will look back in like five to six years
39:09
Speaker 1: and be like, this was the most awesome time in
39:12
Speaker 1: my life. Like, I'm healthy, I'm pursuing my dreams and goals.
39:17
Speaker 1: I have my husband been alongside me, I have two beautiful,
39:19
Speaker 1: healthy boys. You know, I have friends, a team, a family,
39:24
Speaker 1: like people that are really rooting for me and supporting,
39:28
Speaker 1: and I just feel like I'm going to look back
39:31
Speaker 1: and be like, this was the best time in my life.
39:33
Speaker 1: So I'm trying to have that perspective, like right now.
39:36
Speaker 2: You said ten years. When you're going at something for
39:41
Speaker 2: that long and you hit those hurdles along the way
39:43
Speaker 2: as you have what is the inner dialogue? What's the
39:47
Speaker 2: do you have a mantra that you go back to,
39:49
Speaker 2: like what keeps you going after more?
39:53
Speaker 1: It's just like I say this like in every podcast,
39:58
Speaker 1: but it's like a stubborn belief in my and I
40:03
Speaker 1: use like the tagline you got to bed on yourself
40:05
Speaker 1: because if you don't, who will. And I think that
40:08
Speaker 1: is what's It's what's gotten me through many like hard
40:11
Speaker 1: times in my life, where you know, in high school,
40:15
Speaker 1: when my father passed away, I was on a run
40:17
Speaker 1: and I was supposed to go see him. He was
40:21
Speaker 1: really sick with terminal cancer and I was about to
40:24
Speaker 1: like go visit him. I went for a run, but
40:25
Speaker 1: then I came back and he had actually died while
40:28
Speaker 1: I was on that run. And so like running kind
40:31
Speaker 1: of then like change the trajectory of my life and
40:34
Speaker 1: I realize running was something that I get to do
40:37
Speaker 1: and not that I have to do, and I took
40:40
Speaker 1: that mindset back to my senior year of track, and
40:44
Speaker 1: I made some huge breakthroughs because I just started believing
40:47
Speaker 1: in myself more. And so, like my father passing away,
40:50
Speaker 1: it was a blessing in many ways because I chose
40:53
Speaker 1: to like find the good in my life and take
40:56
Speaker 1: a path that maybe was a little more challenging. But
40:59
Speaker 1: so we're and then I've just had so many like
41:03
Speaker 1: things along the way that have reaffirmed that. I was
41:06
Speaker 1: almost forced to leave college because after he passed away,
41:10
Speaker 1: our money essentially ran out because his business went bankrupt.
41:14
Speaker 1: And then an anonymous downer read about my story and
41:19
Speaker 1: decided to fund the rest of my college career in
41:22
Speaker 1: this amazing I don't know angel act, I don't even
41:26
Speaker 1: know what you call it, but I was just so
41:28
Speaker 1: fortunate that my life has always been kind of like
41:32
Speaker 1: why me, Like why am I so blessed with all
41:34
Speaker 1: these opportunities, And so it's just forced me to be
41:38
Speaker 1: on this mission of how can I give back and
41:41
Speaker 1: how can I make my life worth it and kind
41:43
Speaker 1: of pay it forward? And I think that's what keeps
41:46
Speaker 1: me going when either obstacles hit or if I haven't
41:49
Speaker 1: reached a goal. Yet I'm like, well, there's still something
41:51
Speaker 1: left in me, and I'm sure I can eke out,
41:54
Speaker 1: you know, another few years trying to pursue it.
41:57
Speaker 2: So interesting to hear you share that perspective in the
42:01
Speaker 2: why me from like the positive spin, Like I am
42:03
Speaker 2: so fortunate despite in that same breath, sharing so much
42:08
Speaker 2: loss and dealing with all of these hurdles. And we
42:10
Speaker 2: recently talked about, you know, your recent injury and whatnot.
42:13
Speaker 2: And it's such a beautiful thing because it's a growth mindset, right,
42:17
Speaker 2: So for someone who struggles to find the growth mindset
42:20
Speaker 2: like you have clearly adopted in your life, do you
42:23
Speaker 2: have any takeaway, any piece of advice that you might offer.
42:26
Speaker 1: Them how to find that growth mindset? Yeah, I mean
42:31
Speaker 1: find people that have the same mindset and like attach
42:35
Speaker 1: yourselves to them. I mean when I, like I said,
42:39
Speaker 1: I met Lauren Fleshman and Jesse Thomas over ten years ago,
42:42
Speaker 1: and like we immediately just like share that you know,
42:46
Speaker 1: they were both pursuing their athletic careers, Lauren and track
42:49
Speaker 1: and Jesse and trathlon, and we just talked about like
42:53
Speaker 1: what live in an awesome life like really meant to
42:56
Speaker 1: us and pursuing these crazy goals and dreams, you know.
43:00
Speaker 1: And then recently I met a woman named Tiana Bartiletta
43:05
Speaker 1: last year via the internet, but we happened to be
43:07
Speaker 1: in the same sport for the last couple of years,
43:09
Speaker 1: never met, and it was just like we were like
43:12
Speaker 1: instant friends because we both pulled out a notebook and
43:15
Speaker 1: we were like, oh, you keep your goals and dreams
43:17
Speaker 1: in this notebook, like me too. So I think just
43:21
Speaker 1: like putting out like your visions and your passion will
43:27
Speaker 1: attract the right people. And the older you get, I
43:30
Speaker 1: think the more confident that you're like, well, I can
43:32
Speaker 1: walk away from the people that are not getting it
43:35
Speaker 1: and don't get me and walk towards the people that
43:37
Speaker 1: are instead of like trying to convince people that maybe
43:41
Speaker 1: aren't the best in your life like why you're important
43:45
Speaker 1: or why you know your voice matters, and just gravitating
43:49
Speaker 1: towards the people that do. So I definitely think just
43:54
Speaker 1: find your people, essentially, and you may have to look
43:58
Speaker 1: a long time for them, but once you them, the
44:02
Speaker 1: opportunities are endless of what could happen out of those friendships.
44:06
Speaker 2: What's that saying? It's like you're the sum of like
44:08
Speaker 2: the five people closest to you. Yep, absolutely so for you.
44:14
Speaker 2: I mean you just mentioned the importance of finding people
44:16
Speaker 2: that have similar values to you. If I asked you
44:20
Speaker 2: right now to like throw in two, three, four values,
44:24
Speaker 2: hit me with some.
44:25
Speaker 1: Of them showing up for people not just when they're
44:30
Speaker 1: doing well, but when they're not doing well, and I
44:33
Speaker 1: think like anticipating before they're not doing well. That's been
44:38
Speaker 1: really important to me because I think people remember like
44:42
Speaker 1: when you showed up for them. And another value is time,
44:47
Speaker 1: because you can't put a price tag on time. And
44:50
Speaker 1: I've learned that, you know, most recently with my mom
44:53
Speaker 1: is sort of near the end. She has a terminal
44:58
Speaker 1: metastatic breast cancer, and you just start to look at
45:02
Speaker 1: things like things that you will miss or things that
45:04
Speaker 1: you won't have in your future. And so right now,
45:07
Speaker 1: time is all I can give her and all you know,
45:11
Speaker 1: I can ask from her. And I think the last
45:15
Speaker 1: one would be it's kind of a combination of being
45:21
Speaker 1: humble and humility, because no matter what you do, what
45:25
Speaker 1: you achieve in life, if you forget like where you
45:29
Speaker 1: came from, and you forget all the things that helped
45:32
Speaker 1: you get to that place. I think it really that
45:39
Speaker 1: success or like that end goal isn't worth it if
45:43
Speaker 1: it ever becomes if it ever changes who you are.
45:46
Speaker 1: So you know, no matter like what successes all have
45:49
Speaker 1: in running or winning races or making teams, you know,
45:53
Speaker 1: I realize someone can always be better than me, or
45:55
Speaker 1: I could always learn to do something better. And I
45:58
Speaker 1: think that keeps me grounded, humble, and yeah, having humility,
46:02
Speaker 1: because life is such that in an instant something could
46:07
Speaker 1: change and it flips so you're on top and then
46:09
Speaker 1: you can be on bottom the next day. And I
46:13
Speaker 1: think if you are humble about it, it allows you
46:17
Speaker 1: to really like just enjoy what you're doing and not
46:21
Speaker 1: get too caught up in kind of the end goal.
46:24
Speaker 2: Showing up time staying humble. Earlier, you mentioned your boys
46:30
Speaker 2: being like a mirror to you. So now that I've
46:32
Speaker 2: asked you about your values, and you think maybe about
46:35
Speaker 2: the last year or two with your boys, has there
46:38
Speaker 2: been a moment where you've just been so proud that
46:41
Speaker 2: they have exhibited one of these values.
46:47
Speaker 1: I mean, they recently started playing they recently started playing baseball,
46:52
Speaker 1: and without us even like pushing them into it, they've
46:56
Speaker 1: really gravitated towards what like teamwork and cheering for the
47:00
Speaker 1: people means. And we actually took them to a Diamondbacks
47:04
Speaker 1: game and it was like the first time things were opening.
47:08
Speaker 1: And my oldest son, Riley, was lucky enough to get
47:12
Speaker 1: a game ball from the left fielder, which was amazing.
47:16
Speaker 1: And the game was against the Colorado Rockies, and in
47:21
Speaker 1: the bleachers in front of us, there was a family
47:24
Speaker 1: who was clearly Rockies fans and a young boy was
47:27
Speaker 1: probably seven. When the Diamondbacks like pulled into the lead,
47:31
Speaker 1: that boy started bawling and you can tell like he
47:34
Speaker 1: was just like his team was losing and he was
47:36
Speaker 1: so sad. And Riley looked at like this extra ball
47:42
Speaker 1: that he had gotten from the warm up. They also
47:44
Speaker 1: gave him a ball from like the bullpen, and he
47:47
Speaker 1: walked over, walked down to that family and he handed
47:50
Speaker 1: the kid from the Rocky team and he said, here's
47:55
Speaker 1: this ball. And I just was like, that's it. I mean,
47:58
Speaker 1: he gets it, like he just he saw a defeat
48:02
Speaker 1: for someone else, and he was like, how can I
48:05
Speaker 1: fill this kid's day with purpose or how can I
48:09
Speaker 1: make a difference? And I mean that was it for me.
48:12
Speaker 2: Oh, what a great story. What a great story, What
48:15
Speaker 2: a proud moment for you, I'm so sure. Well, as
48:19
Speaker 2: we wind on here, I always like to take a
48:22
Speaker 2: moment to reflect on one of the biggest lessons maybe
48:26
Speaker 2: you've learned upon your journey. Right now, you have an
48:29
Speaker 2: opportunity to offer yourself a piece of advice. You talked
48:33
Speaker 2: about that difficult time finding out you were pregnant for
48:36
Speaker 2: the second time at first, not really sure what to
48:39
Speaker 2: do with that news, and having a little trouble struggling
48:42
Speaker 2: to kind of find your place in how to move forward.
48:45
Speaker 2: Right now you have an opportunity to offer yourself a
48:47
Speaker 2: piece of advice at that time. What do you tell yourself?
48:53
Speaker 1: Man, I like, give my mom like crap for this,
48:57
Speaker 1: because she always says this quote and I'm like, Mom,
49:00
Speaker 1: doesn't make sense, Like she says, everything happens for a reason,
49:04
Speaker 1: and so I'm like, no, sometimes things don't happen for
49:06
Speaker 1: a reason. But the more I look at that quote,
49:09
Speaker 1: I like it in ways because yes, everything happens for
49:13
Speaker 1: a reason. But then you do have the ability to
49:16
Speaker 1: make choices, and you do get to choose paths along
49:19
Speaker 1: the way, and you can see things happen to you
49:23
Speaker 1: and say Wow, that's really negative. Why me? Why does
49:25
Speaker 1: this always happen? Or you can say, you know what,
49:28
Speaker 1: someone must think I'm strong enough to handle it, like
49:31
Speaker 1: how can I move forward with this adversity that I'm
49:34
Speaker 1: dealing with? So I think I learned that at a
49:38
Speaker 1: really young age, Like, like I said, when my father
49:40
Speaker 1: passed away, I was eighteen and I was all alone.
49:43
Speaker 1: I was in New York, away from all my family,
49:46
Speaker 1: all my friends, my brothers. I didn't make it to
49:49
Speaker 1: see my dad and my stepmom, And I said, well,
49:52
Speaker 1: this has got to be No moment could ever be
49:55
Speaker 1: worse in my life than being like alone finding out
49:58
Speaker 1: my dad died. And so instead of saying like why me,
50:01
Speaker 1: I said, well, thanks Dad or whoever made this happen.
50:05
Speaker 1: Now I will never feel like I can't handle anything
50:08
Speaker 1: because I was strong enough in that moment to like
50:10
Speaker 1: move forward. So I kind of go back to that
50:13
Speaker 1: event many times when things get hard, and I just say, like,
50:18
Speaker 1: you have already been been here, You've already been presented
50:21
Speaker 1: with obstacles. Just figure out how you want to react,
50:25
Speaker 1: you know, to this moment right now.
50:27
Speaker 2: Well, my heart and my prayers are with you and
50:29
Speaker 2: your family as you're going through everything with your mom,
50:32
Speaker 2: and I'm also cheering for you and your build up
50:34
Speaker 2: to the trials, and I'm so grateful for your time
50:37
Speaker 2: and so much amazing, so much amazingness in this episode.
50:41
Speaker 2: How do that the hurdlers keep up with you? How
50:43
Speaker 2: do they follow along with you? Give me all the details.
50:46
Speaker 1: Sure, So I have a website, Steph Bruce dot com,
50:50
Speaker 1: and then you can find me on social media. It's
50:52
Speaker 1: actually all my maiden names, so Twitter and Instagram is
50:56
Speaker 1: Steph Rothstein. But usually if you if you so Steph Bruce,
51:00
Speaker 1: it would come up. And then yeah, you can follow
51:02
Speaker 1: my team in a z elite for all like race
51:06
Speaker 1: stuff and going into the summer in the trials, and
51:08
Speaker 1: then of course Pickybars dot com for any of your
51:12
Speaker 1: nutrition goodies.
51:14
Speaker 2: Of course I have to ask you, do you have
51:16
Speaker 2: a favorite Picky Bar? I do, yes, Okay, what is it?
51:20
Speaker 1: Flavor is cinnamon rollin and that's what I eat pretty
51:23
Speaker 1: much before all workouts and all races.
51:25
Speaker 2: I had that one yesterday. I liked it. I'm a
51:27
Speaker 2: smooth cafeater.
51:28
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, that's that's a good one.
51:30
Speaker 2: I'm over at Emily a body and at hurdle podcast,
51:33
Speaker 2: Another hurdle conquered. Catch you guys next time.