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Finding Your Leadership Superpower with Jaime Taets · Authentic Living

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Welcome to authentic living with Roxanne, a place where we have as conversations about
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things that really matter in our lives.
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And now here's your host, Roxanne Derhodge.
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Everyone.
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This is Roxanne Derhodge.
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Thanks for tuning in again for authentic living Roxanne.
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Today, I have a special guest, Jamie Tates, and Jamie and I are both, members of the Forbes
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business executive council.
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So we were so so fortunate to, meet each other there not too long ago.
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So, Jimmy, welcome to the show.
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Thanks for having me.
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So JB brings a unique background.
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She's a CEO of the Keystone Group International, and I had the privilege of
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hearing her present, recently at health and wellness, HR initiative, at the Forbes
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Executive Council.
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And I was quite impressed that I thought she would, add such value to our show.
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So I wanted to jump right in and we talked you talk a lot about superpowers and, and I read
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about your superpower, but I want you to tell people a little bit about what you do, how you
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do it, and how you use your superpower with leaders.
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Yeah.
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So keep going.
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I started it 7 years ago with the intention of really helping leaders help them lead to grow
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their businesses, right, in that small and mid market space.
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And and as our services have evolved, what we really do is we help leaders understand how
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their business strategy, how their own leadership development and the culture of the
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organization all kind of mix in the middle to create a competitive advantage for the
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business, which is ultimately what we want, which is the business results.
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Right, it is being able to achieve those finish lines that we're trying to achieve.
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And along the way, right, there there's been a lot of evolution of our services as we started
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to realize where the gaps were for leaders in being able to actually achieve that.
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And one of the biggest gaps we talk about superpowers is leaders not knowing their innate
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strengths and how to bring them more fully to the table.
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Right?
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Part of it is that it's sometimes harder to see our strengths where other people can see them.
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Because they don't have the same strengths and so they recognize them in us.
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But getting through with that 2 leaders and what you talk about with authentic heart
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leadership is when you can tap into your superpowers, you become a stronger, more
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confident, and more effective leader.
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Because you know thyself.
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You know who you are and you stop trying to be that leader that you reported to and you that's
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how you thought you were supposed to lead 3 years ago is you just become who you are and
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people trust that.
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Right?
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No matter what your personality is.
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And so that's kind of our philosophy.
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And when we talk about leadership, we're talking about everybody in an organization.
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Not just people that have direct reports because we've realized over the last year is
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that anybody in an organization can lead meaning bringing ideas to the table, having
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influence, right, driving conversations and the right solutions for customers.
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You do not have to have direct reports.
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To be able to do that.
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Now how open how open have you found leaders to really delve into that concept of neither know
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thyself?
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So, you know, workshops that we do, we start at the surface because you've got it's gotta be
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approachable.
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Right?
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This isn't something like, I mean, your background is a psychologist.
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That that's a whole different station in-depth, you can go with them.
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But for many people, that can be a scary entry point, right, to go that deep.
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So assessments help, and I know you have assessments as well.
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They help to just kinda open the door.
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Now I would say just kinda crack them open a little bit so that the information can flow in
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is those help with self awareness, but the superpowers and and why that's approachable is
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we just have people assess, like, What are your innate strengths?
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What are you really good at?
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What do you enjoy doing?
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So as you would say in the flow, right, what are those things that puts you in the flow?
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Because if you can do more of that and bring that to whatever you're trying to accomplish,
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people are going to trust you more authentic because you're showing up in this natural
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space.
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And so we try not to make it too psychological at the beginning because it's 4 of them
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examining, what am I really good at?
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It's the question that I asked you when you were on the podcast.
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What's your superpower?
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And just getting you used to talking about it because most of us are like, it feels arrogant
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to talk about what we're really good at or the things we have that maybe other people don't
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but the world needs that.
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The world needs us to bring those gifts.
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And so it's just getting the leader to open up about that.
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So kind of delving, but not going too deep too soon because it's like anything else.
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And I think I don't know if you would agree with this, but a lot of leaders are salute
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They're high functioning people, right, without a doubt.
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Right?
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And they often don't stop to think about limitations or or even in their training, in
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their MBAs, or, you know, in whatever backgrounds they've had, they've always kind of
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been high functions.
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So I often say that high functions sometimes forget some of the things that we talk about
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energy and, some of the basic things, you know, to to take care of themselves.
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So to go too quick ahead of them, I could see how that could be.
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What do you wanna talk about that for?
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So again, it's this church in like any of us, right, to get to really understanding ourselves
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to knowing who we want to be in the future.
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It's not a half an hour sit down.
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Right?
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It's it's a it's years of kinda just digging a little bit deeper and listening to
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conversations like this and reading books and it's it's just all of these dots that we have
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to connect.
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And there are moments in there where you can have a breakthrough, right, with a leader.
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Like, I get it.
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I see it now for what it is.
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But you gotta make it approachable because we're busy.
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And we're, you know, we don't wanna feel psychoanalyze And, right, we we but and we have
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to discover it for ourselves, right, so as a coach, you and I, we're just leading you.
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We're not telling you who you are.
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We're leading you to who you already are.
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We just need you to realize it.
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And so I think that it's leading.
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Yeah.
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And to have them listen in a different way.
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Right.
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Right?
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So I think that's the gauge that most coaches use.
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Now I'm curious, right?
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So we're talking about eventually you kinda delved down.
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So we're talking about you talking about the leadership or leadership teams, and that core
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concept of what everybody's leading, really, in every element in corporate culture, I would
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say, you never know where the next innovative idea is gonna come from.
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Right?
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So it's about keeping everybody engaged and happy hence, they're gonna be innovative and
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productive.
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What do you people coming to you now?
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I know we're in a different time compared to say 14 months ago.
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What do you find How are people coming to you now?
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Are they coming in a reactive state?
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Are they coming with more of a level state where they wanna actually make change What are
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you seeing out there in the market with leadership needs now?
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It's really promising, actually.
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And I just was having this conversation yesterday with a leader that you know, our
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business has grown exponentially in the last 14 months since January of 2020.
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And the reason is is We're not saying anything different than we were saying before, but
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people's minds are now open to what we've been saying.
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For years years years because we've all been forced into self reflection.
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We've all been forced into uncertainty and uncomfortableness that maybe we weren't before,
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and the plane field leveled when all of this happened.
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What we saw with a lot of our leadership teams is, you know, last March, April, May when it it
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was really bad.
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As leaders, we didn't know the answer any more than our employees did.
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Like, this was not something we could solve for them, and it was humbling for a lot of leaders
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to say, I don't know the long term answer here.
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All I know is we've just gotta keep moving forward and and and they tapped into something
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different.
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And so what I would say is how it's changing is they're asking different questions.
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Right?
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They're they're thinking differently than they were before.
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It's we're not there yet, but they're open to having different conversations.
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And I I give the, example of we have a gen large general contractor that's a client.
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So, right, building large commercial buildings.
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Tons of field staff.
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Laborators, right, men's men, like, you know, it's kinda rough around the edges of people.
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And a couple months ago, I was doing annual planning with their leadership team and their
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general superintendent who's the guy that runs all the field staff.
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Right?
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He's rough around the edges as well.
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Wonderful guy.
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But he came into the annual planning and said, if we do nothing else for the next 2 full days,
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we need to solve for how to help the mental health and help our guys in the field.
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2 years ago, the same leader would have never that thought would have never even come into
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their mind.
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Now part of that, I truly believe it's impactful for us because it's part of the work
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we've been doing with them, but part of it's also the place that he's at.
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Right?
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The things he's recognizing in himself now that he knows others are dealing with.
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And so you're hearing these beautiful stories of leaders just saying, I need to care about my
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people.
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Mhmm.
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And how I do that, I gotta figure that out, but it's just right now, it's not about drive,
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drive, drive, drive, to the next finish line, it's about care, which is what we call
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conscious leadership.
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Right?
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It's a different level of leadership and Not everybody's there, but we're seeing the
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evolution of people saying, maybe there's a different way and a better way for me to and
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maybe I have something to learn.
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So on out out of something read adverse, we can say that Right.
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Leaders have had to develop skills that maybe potentially would have been a nice to have.
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Now it's a must have.
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Correct.
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I mean Forbes declared emotional intelligence, the EQ, as the number one leadership skill of
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the next decade.
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Right?
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It's always been there.
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We've been talking about it for 10 years, but now it's a requirement It's no longer a nice to
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have.
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People are not gonna say your organization are within your department or division if if you
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don't care about them.
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At some level.
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So leaders are being kind of forced into the change, but I've I'm glad to see leaders that I
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wouldn't have expected walking towards it and saying, alright.
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Help me do this.
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So if you have leaders that are thinking, you know, this this conversation makes a lot of
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sense.
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Where would they start with, say, you know, a company like yours?
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What what what would be what what's your process?
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Let's say a leader says I'm thinking, you know, I I I I have a pretty good staff, but I can see
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that there's need to make some tweaks, but I just don't know where to begin.
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What what would you do with someone like that?
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Yeah.
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Because of the work we do at the intersection between strategy, leadership, and culture, you
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know, we always recommend we've got a baseline.
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We've gotta understand where we're at today.
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Like, truly understand to know how where we go from here, right, and how we make progress.
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So Whether it's working with that individual leader and that's what they need or it's it's a
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culture baseline, right, to help them understand because culture is a leader's
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choice.
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Whether it is your department or it's a division or the entire organization as a
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leader, what you control, you you do control that sub culture or that culture within your
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organization and it's your choice and what that looks like and feels like.
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And so oftentimes we'll come in and we'll be coaching a leader but we'll take it a step
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further to say how does this translate into the impact it has on the rest of your organization?
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Because that's where their blind spots sometimes are is they can be a really great
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person but they can have gaps in their leadership that are causing issues, right, and
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other people in the organization to not be as fulfilled.
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Built, right, and to not be as high performing.
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And so it's often tying the 2 together and kinda turning the mirror and saying, here's the
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delta between the skills you bring and what the team needs, that's the gap you need to close.
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And so that's usually the work is it's a lot of self awareness which, you know, many leaders do
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on their own to some extent through listening to podcasts and reading and that Oh, but what
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they oftentimes need is that that coach or that person to help them cross the chasm.
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Right?
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That that that hard piece that they can't do on their own.
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To kind of look at yourself from a a lens a bit more objectively away from you and kind of feed
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it back to you.
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Like you said, It may not be, you know, you're not gonna go deep really quick, but they're
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recognizing, you know, I I seem wanna, like, you know, I often say, what's your stress
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signature?
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And if you don't understand what it is,
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you
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may be reactive in certain scenarios or maybe there's certain personalities that, you know,
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you get into these business units and you seem to have the kind of same kind of patterns of
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interaction.
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Kind of looking at that and say, okay, well, let's look at what happens.
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What is it that triggers you with this business unit that you don't have with this business
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unit?
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Right.
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And then how come you're able to flow so well, but this business unit actually, you know,
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seems like overall it'd be, you know, a lot more difficult tasks at hand.
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But you flow here, but you don't hear,
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right, you
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know, and those types of things.
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So I could see how that that would make so that, like you said, the gap between what they
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are, which they may be phenomenal.
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And but their team's still not their behaviors aren't translating, with into actionable, steps
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that the team are able to see it as different.
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Right.
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They're asked to own instead of being the victim.
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That's the biggest piece is they have to own it.
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So perfect example, I had a conversation with a leader within an organization that is on their
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4th CEO in 4 years.
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Right?
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Talking about culture and this leader's like, I don't even know how to help the organization
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right now because each CEO that we've had had a different style, had a different personality,
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and it's like whiplash for the organization.
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And she said, what guidance can I give to the new CEO 2 months in?
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And I said, tell them to listen and not come with solutions, they have to respect where the
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organization is at and has been in this this journey that the people have been on, which is
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painful, right, with that much change, their number one job is to just listen and pay
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attention and diagnose where they're at before they come in with I'm gonna save the day.
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Here are all of the things I need to do.
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And you have to really just be aware of where your team's at.
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And that's what's happened over the last year is leaders have realized leadership is hard
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because each human that I lead is different.
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And if I think I can take one approach and it's just gonna make everybody happy, that doesn't
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happen.
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People need different things from us.
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And as a leader, we need to be able to diagnose what each person needs to get from here to here
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or to grow.
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Or to be challenged.
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And leaders have to stop and figure that out because it's their number one job.
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So vulnerability they have to come in and say, yeah, I've seen that you've kinda been put
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through the spin cycle quite literally four times in 4 years And I'm the new person, so I'm
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here to learn so that, you know, creating that transparency, what we, you know, in in
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authentic leadership they talk about about relational transparency.
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So coming, saying, wow, this has been tough, I'm here to understand.
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I'm here to learn.
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Tell me more, which, again, that becomes, dissatisfied kind of perspective communication,
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right, no longer top down, but, you know, kinda side by side, how can I stand so I can be a
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better leader because you have the information, lots of information that I need?
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Right.
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I mean, concept I actually write about it in the book called no one wants you to be no one
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needs you to be their hero.
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And as a leader, our job is not to be we have superpowers, but our job is not to be the
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superhero and save the day for everyone else.
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Our job is to make them the superheroes of their own stories.
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And so we oftentimes feel like we have to fly in and solve the problem, right, and, yay, you
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we need to empower them to solve the problem and be the superhero for them.
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And that's what that is.
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The listening is how can I help you win?
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How can I help you solve this problem or have success right, instead of me being the one that
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saves the day?
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And that, you know, I always say that a a great leader, knows that they can lead, but they
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don't have to lead because everybody around them has the capacity to lead on their own.
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I love that.
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Uh-huh.
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You know, so it's, and it's, again, like you said, it's that awareness piece.
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So I often say the aware leader is aware of him or her space, and that allows them to capacity
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to read other people's spaces and recognize, you know, the incongruence that may exist or
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some people you're in alignment with.
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Right?
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Just absolutely.
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You just flow.
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There are a lot there's affinity, but then there's people that maybe think differently or
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they approach things differently.
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But with without not without that awareness, that may be perceived as a threat.
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But with awareness, all it says is, wow.
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Interesting.
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Jamie thinks differently.
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Why does she think differently?
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How does she approach this problem?
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You know, what is it that I'm not seeing?
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And that that's where the you know, and again, with with psychological safety, which I often
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talk about within my, my keynotes is about if people are not feeling safe and secure, to be
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able to to verbalize what they're truly needing.
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And then there there's not the capacity for them to relax, develop trust, And when when
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people are in that trusting space, there's so much possibility.
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What you're talking about, you're just managing them.
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Because if they don't have that psychological safety, you're not really leading them
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anywhere.
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We're getting the job Right?
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Were you into the finish line or the deliverable, but it's not a leading thing.
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It's a managing.
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Right.
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And delineating between the both of them.
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Right?
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So some leaders think they're really leading, but in fact, they're they're they're managing
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and to understand, and I think to some degree, 20202021 has brought leadership people to the
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point where they're realizing we really, truly, truly have to lead.
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Right?
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And they've recognized their own gaps.
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That's really what I hope comes out of this because we all have them.
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You know, leadership, you're never done being a better leader.
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And so we need to just we need to have people that can help us and see those things.
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But we need to do the work to say where are my gaps?
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Where am I superpowers?
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But where are my gaps?
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I know we're gonna we're running on a time, but I have one question for you.
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What is the top concern from a from a a health perspective that you're seeing CEOs today that
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you're dealing with?
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Well, it's it's burnout.
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Right?
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It's it's mental health at all levels.
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Of the organization, but it there's added pressure.
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Right?
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There's there's there's added weight on the shoulders at the top of the organization to
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have the right answers all the time.
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Right?
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They're feeling the pressure and and and what we're talking to our executive team clients
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about is Your job is not to have the end answer crystal ball to what we need to do.
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It's to have the right next answer and to be able to ask the questions of your team and
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engage your team.
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Right?
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So take the burden off of you and and not put the burden on someone else, but just realize
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you're human.
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Right?
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Well, we've all experienced no one had the right answer.
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No one knows what's gonna be happening a year from now.
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And hopefully it's better than what it is now, but we have to give ourselves some grace.
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Because otherwise, I mean, it's gonna kill us as leaders, meaning the stress and the
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compounding, and that's my biggest fear right now.
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And so we're talking to all of our leaders you know, I think of that analogy when you're on an
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airplane.
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You have to put your own oxygen mask on first.
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More than your child, next to you because you cannot be good for anyone else unless you have
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your own on.
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And leaders need to be reminded of that right now, and it's they're the only ones who can
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solve that for themselves.
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I like that.
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Yeah.
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I like what you said.
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The next best answer.
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Right.
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Right?
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Just not not to look too much far ahead, which really, I think if anything, we've we've had
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to, you know, what, this time has done for us is to make us all pause And as much as it's
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been negative, there's been so many positives that have come in there.
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But again, in with leadership teams that puts even more pressure on them, to, to, to feel a
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little or think that they should be leading, all the time and not taking that break.
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And in fact, that's where I think the burnout's happening is people working from home and, you
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know, and, and then every we're all electronically connected and those types of
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things.
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What I found is that, even leaders feeling incompetent, because they don't have the
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answers, which, like you said, they they can't, because none of us have the answers based on
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this time, but to really kind of work internally more on their energy and their space
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and their psychological kind of, you know, inoculation, I call it emotionally
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psychologically, spiritually, biologically.
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How is it that you're optimizing your capacity so that at the end of this, you're not
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depleted, you're actually, you know, able to bounce back and say, okay.
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So now I understand something a lot of things about myself, as an individual at hope for my
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family, but also, as a leader that's, you know, gonna be leading my team for years.
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Now, Jimmy, you talked about a book.
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You wanted to tell us a little bit about it.
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And if any any leadership teams or people are looking at, you know, chatting with you, where
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can they get a hold of you?
23:19
Yeah.
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Thank you so much.
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So, the book, pre order launches May 27th from at jamietates.com.
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And it's it's really it was written just based on my journey.
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And the goal of the book is to it's you can classify this personal self help, but the early
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indications of all the advanced readers or that it's a leadership book as well is to normalize
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the journey and the points where we get stuck because we all get stuck.
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Doesn't matter how smart we are, how good we are, Right?
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We reached those points.
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And so the book is really it's called you are here.
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Kick ass inspiration for navigating your journey to success.
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And it's meant to be a reference manual for leaders to just know that you're not alone,
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right, but this is the point where you're stuck and only you can take action.
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To get yourself unstuck.
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So that's the goal of the book.
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You can also check out Keystone Group International.
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It's keystonegroup.com.
24:17
To see our services.
24:18
Right?
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We have our full culture model there.
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You can download it for free.
24:22
You know, we're very much we're a boutique firm, so we want to just have impact and be
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able to give people as many resources as we can, to positively impact the workplace, right,
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and so that we can have organizations send people home every day better than when they
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came in.
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And that's our goal.
24:39
So tons of resources.
24:40
Follow me on LinkedIn.
24:43
We do a ton on social media, Instagram, LinkedIn, Facebook.
24:47
So always putting out great articles and great content that can just make you think
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differently as a leader.
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So would love to connect there.
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Awesome.
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Well, thank you so much for your time.
24:57
And, again, what am I taking away?
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What's the next right answer?
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I think that's the most valuable thing, that if if I'm taking away as a leader, but also for
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any of the leaders, what's the next right thing, or, you can say to people around you to
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guide them through, the space that we're in.
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So, again, thanks for your time, Jamie.
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And for everyone, look forward to checking out, things with you next week again.
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And if you're needing anything, on authentic heart leadership, you can reach me at Roxanne
25:27
Durgesh.
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Dotcom.
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Take care.
25:29
We'll talk to you soon.
25:31
Thanks for tuning in to authentic living with Roxanne, creating the space for positive
25:37
healthy chains.
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Roxanne is a keynote speaker, psychotherapist, and coach to work with Roxanne.
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Visit Roxanne Durgesh dotcom/blueprint.
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We'll see you next time on authentic living with Roxanne.