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Mom And Me Me And Mom · Divas That Care Network

• 0:32
  SPEAKER_01: Well, hello everyone, and welcome back to the Diva Zed Care.
• 0:34
  SPEAKER_01: My name is Candace Gish.
• 0:36
  SPEAKER_01: Wow, has this been an amazing, busy, crazy week?
• 0:39
  SPEAKER_01: I've had the opportunity to interview so many amazing women.
• 0:43
  SPEAKER_01: The reason why is that we're doing a special right now.
• 0:46
  SPEAKER_01: We have an anthology coming out called Our Mothers, Our Daughters, and I'm so excited about this.
• 0:52
  SPEAKER_01: And these women that I had the opportunity to interview this week are contributors in our newest anthology.
• 0:58
  SPEAKER_01: So you're in for a treat.
• 1:00
  SPEAKER_01: I hope you go check out all those other podcasts.
• 1:02
  SPEAKER_01: And I know that you're going to enjoy today's podcast.
• 1:05
  SPEAKER_01: If this is your very first time tuning into the Divasette Care, we've been doing this now for 13 seasons.
• 1:11
  SPEAKER_01: We're listening to over 30 countries around the world.
• 1:13
  SPEAKER_01: And honestly, it's because of all of our amazing tribes, our guests, our hosts, everybody that's really been a part of the movement out there.
• 1:20
  SPEAKER_01: And we're just so blessed and thankful that we're able to continue to do this and support people.
• 1:25
  SPEAKER_01: All right, today I'm so excited because I'm going to be introducing you to my friend Kathleen.
• 1:31
  SPEAKER_01: And Kathleen is one of those amazing women that I've had the opportunity to know for so many years.
• 1:37
  SPEAKER_01: And she has been an inspiration in my life, and she was there for me as a friend to so many things years ago.
• 1:43
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm just so excited that it's come full circle and I'm able to talk to her on my program today.
• 1:47
  SPEAKER_01: So, Kathleen, welcome to the Divas at Care.
• 1:50
  SPEAKER_02: Well, thank you, Candace.
• 1:52
  SPEAKER_01: It has been a long time.
• 1:55
  SPEAKER_02: It has.
• 1:57
  SPEAKER_01: Well, I'm so excited that you have come onto my my podcast here.
• 2:02
  SPEAKER_01: And would you mind introducing yourself to our listeners?
• 2:06
  SPEAKER_02: Hello, listeners.
• 2:07
  SPEAKER_02: My name is Kathleen Oakleby and I've done a lot of things in my life and now I'm retired.
• 2:16
  SPEAKER_02: And a couple years ago Candace asked me to write a story about m my relationship with my mother.
• 2:22
  SPEAKER_01: So yeah, here we are.
• 2:25
  SPEAKER_01: Well, and it's a beautiful story, and I'm so excited because I thought the world of your mother, I thought she was an amazing woman, and it was just a pleasure that I had the opportunity to know her.
• 2:35
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, my mum had that effect on people.
• 2:38
  SPEAKER_02: But you know how it is about mums?
• 2:40
  SPEAKER_02: The relationship you had with my mother was different than the one I had.
• 2:44
  SPEAKER_01: Yes.
• 2:46
  SPEAKER_02: It seems to be always that way.
• 2:48
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 2:49
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, people tell me that my mother was perfect, but you know, I saw her in her less than perfect moments.
• 2:54
  SPEAKER_01: And that and that's the the wonderful thing about our lives and our journeys is is is being able to share that with others.
• 3:01
  SPEAKER_01: And what I want to ask you, Kathleen, is tell us a little bit about your story and why you decided to add it into our arthology.
• 3:09
  SPEAKER_02: Well when you asked me to write this, Candace, I th I I thought, oh sure.
• 3:14
  SPEAKER_02: And I was surprised that um most of my memories were more current than a long time ago, right?
• 3:24
  SPEAKER_02: And that like I said, there was nothing specific that stood out, but mom was always there for me.
• 3:32
  SPEAKER_02: And I was your daughter, so of course I wasn't always there for her.
• 3:37
  SPEAKER_02: You know, time goes on and I was glad that you gave me the opportunity to do this because it kind of it helped my healing process.
• 3:49
  SPEAKER_02: I talked about Mum after she was in the nursing home and the memories that came up while I was dealing with that and the oh, I just remembered Mum really was a private person.
• 4:04
  SPEAKER_02: She didn't tell a lot of stuff to I don't know who she told her stuff to.
• 4:09
  SPEAKER_02: But in her when she was twenty-one, I was born in Golden, DC, and she moved twenty-five times that year.
• 4:20
  SPEAKER_02: And she never really did talk about her relationship with my birth father.
• 4:26
  SPEAKER_02: But I you know, my grandma, my uncle told me a little bit, but she she just what she said about uh moving twenty-five times in one year is that she got very good at packing in a hurry.
• 4:39
  SPEAKER_02: So yeah.
• 4:41
  SPEAKER_02: And uh her my birth father was uh he wasn't an outstanding member of society.
• 4:51
  SPEAKER_02: And so she had uh those lessons to learn and you know, we all have lessons to learn.
• 4:56
  SPEAKER_02: We come here to clean up her act, hopefully.
• 5:00
  SPEAKER_02: And so she went on, she was a single mum for and in the fifties I can't rem uh, she had to be a single mum for about five years, six years.
• 5:11
  SPEAKER_02: And in the fifties that was a deal.
• 5:14
  SPEAKER_02: Right?
• 5:15
  SPEAKER_02: Like women were still women were still the not necessarily the chapels of, but definitely the uh underlings in society, right?
• 5:27
  SPEAKER_02: So yeah, but she did pretty good.
• 5:30
  SPEAKER_02: She did what she needed to do and made a lot of friends along the way.
• 5:37
  SPEAKER_02: So Yes.
• 5:38
  SPEAKER_01: And she made an extremely independent, amazing daughter.
• 5:44
  SPEAKER_02: Oh well, thank you.
• 5:46
  SPEAKER_02: A l a lot of that candice came after the healing process, uh after Mum died.
• 5:53
  SPEAKER_02: There was a lot of acrimony in the family, and my husband and I were the brunt of that.
• 6:01
  SPEAKER_02: And after Mum died, we were given the opportunity of some peace for a couple of years and were able to pull ourselves back together and do some emotional healing.
• 6:14
  SPEAKER_01: And it's a challenge, isn't it?
• 6:16
  SPEAKER_01: Going through something so difficult and being able to, as you're saying, refin find yourself all over again.
• 6:23
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, yeah, and get some the perspective of distance and learning things uh I never knew I needed to learn.
• 6:36
  SPEAKER_02: I guess they weren't even in my book.
• 6:40
  SPEAKER_02: So But you know where as as difficult as all that was, I am so fortunate to have learned it when I was sixty-five instead of eighty-five.
• 6:53
  SPEAKER_02: You know, 'cause uh we were we had these expectations of our senior years uh who would be there for us and you know and so we have a whole new tribe.
• 7:03
  SPEAKER_02: Yay.
• 7:06
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 7:07
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 7:08
  SPEAKER_01: You definitely find who your tribe is through your journey, don't you?
• 7:12
  SPEAKER_01: Because there's a lot of things that come and go, there's good, there's the bad, but we really find ourselves and the people who are supposed to be with us during that journey.
• 7:21
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, and I have read a lot of people say this and I have come to believe it that less is better.
• 7:30
  SPEAKER_02: The smaller your drive, the better it is.
• 7:33
  SPEAKER_02: That is my experience.
• 7:35
  SPEAKER_01: So the story that you put into our anthology was absolutely amazing, and I I want to thank you very much for that, Kathleen, because it is it's it's something to be able to write about the people in our lives, and sometimes it's it's a very emotional journey for all of us.
• 7:51
  SPEAKER_01: But I think at the same time it's a very healing aspect and it helps so many other people around us because then they start seeing that they're not alone.
• 7:59
  SPEAKER_01: And I think that the anthology is really going to show that to people is that we all go through our own journeys.
• 8:05
  SPEAKER_01: They're not the same as anybody else's.
• 8:07
  SPEAKER_01: There may be similarities to other people's, but it shows us that we are unique individuals and it's okay for the things that we do go through.
• 8:15
  SPEAKER_01: I think it makes us almost better people.
• 8:19
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, uh definitely.
• 8:21
  SPEAKER_02: I I definitely agree with you.
• 8:23
  SPEAKER_02: Yes.
• 8:24
  SPEAKER_02: And with these things, uh like I wrote this, I don't know I don't know how my words are gonna help somebody, but I'm really grateful if they do.
• 8:33
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, if one person is able to say, Oh, thank you, then yay.
• 8:39
  SPEAKER_01: I completely agree.
• 8:40
  SPEAKER_01: If we can inspire one person, I think that we've done our job.
• 8:44
  SPEAKER_01: So thank you so much for believing in the mission of Adivas at care and being a part of this anthology with us.
• 8:52
  SPEAKER_02: Oh well, I'm just I was honored to be invited.
• 8:56
  SPEAKER_02: Thank you.
• 8:57
  SPEAKER_02: It is my pleasure.
• 8:58
  SPEAKER_01: We're gonna have to do some more things in the future here, Kathleen.
• 9:01
  SPEAKER_01: It's been way too long.
• 9:03
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, yeah.
• 9:04
  SPEAKER_02: Well, uh keep me in mind.
• 9:06
  SPEAKER_02: I'm I'm retired now.
• 9:07
  SPEAKER_02: I just play in my studio and you know, some days I feel like doing other stuff.
• 9:14
  SPEAKER_01: That's awesome.
• 9:15
  SPEAKER_01: I love it.
• 9:16
  SPEAKER_01: I love it so much.
• 9:18
  SPEAKER_01: So thank you again for being a part of this anthology.
• 9:21
  SPEAKER_01: I can't wait for our listeners to go and check that out.
• 9:24
  SPEAKER_01: And for our listeners, we're having a pre-release sale right now, so you might want to go check that out on Kindle and Kobo on May the 9th.
• 9:31
  SPEAKER_01: We're actually gonna be launching our book, and that's gonna be available on a soft copy, so you can go and check that out too.
• 9:39
  SPEAKER_01: It's amazing.
• 9:40
  SPEAKER_01: It it happens so quickly.
• 9:41
  SPEAKER_01: It was a I think it was meant to be, you know, coming out right before Mother's Day.
• 9:45
  SPEAKER_01: All those mothers out there to be inspired.
• 9:47
  SPEAKER_02: And if there's any kinks in the process, it's Mercury has just went retrograde, so you know.
• 9:52
  SPEAKER_01: You're not the first person to say that to me today.
• 9:57
  SPEAKER_01: That's awesome.
• 9:59
  SPEAKER_01: Well, Kathleen, again, it has been a pleasure chatting with you here.
• 10:02
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm looking forward to chatting with you again soon.
• 10:05
  SPEAKER_02: Sounds great, Candace.
• 10:07
  SPEAKER_02: Thank you very much.
• 10:08
  SPEAKER_01: You're welcome.
• 10:09
  SPEAKER_01: And a huge shout out to all of our listeners.
• 10:11
  SPEAKER_01: Please share this with all your friends and family.
• 10:13
  SPEAKER_01: We're so excited about this anthology.
• 10:15
  SPEAKER_01: I know that there's going to be so many women around the world that are going to be inspired by it.
• 10:19
  SPEAKER_01: I have your children read it too because it is really good.
• 10:22
  SPEAKER_01: There's a lot of tips in there.
• 10:24
  SPEAKER_01: We added some other cool little things for to be really interactive.
• 10:28
  SPEAKER_01: Thanks again, Kathleen.
• 10:29
  SPEAKER_01: Thanks to all of our listeners, and I hope that each and every one of you have an amazing day.
• 10:35
  SPEAKER_00: Thanks for listening.
• 10:36
  SPEAKER_00: So we're brought to you by DeepSpair.
• 10:39
  SPEAKER_00: Connect with us on Facebook, on Instagram, and of course on deepfair.com or you can subscribe to our network.