Latest / I Choose Me with Jennie Garth / Just Jennie: I’m answering the question, “How Are You?” and it’s not just “fine”

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Just Jennie: I’m answering the question, “How Are You?” and it’s not just “fine” · I Choose Me with Jennie Garth

• 0:01
  Speaker 1: You're listening to I Choose Me with Jenny Gerber. Welcome
• 0:08
  Speaker 1: back to I Choose Me. Today, it's just the two
• 0:12
  Speaker 1: of us. So I want you to imagine that you're
• 0:16
  Speaker 1: here hanging out with me on the I Choose Me couch.
• 0:20
  Speaker 1: And I want to ask you a serious question today, actually.
• 0:24
  Speaker 1: This is a question that we all seem to just
• 0:27
  Speaker 1: rush right past. with an automatic answer of I'm fine
• 0:31
  Speaker 1: or I'm good. It's a very simple question, but it's
• 0:36
  Speaker 1: actually VIP. My question today is, how are you right
• 0:43
  Speaker 1: now in this moment? I want you to take a
• 0:46
  Speaker 1: beat and really give that some extra thought. Let's be
• 0:50
  Speaker 1: brave enough to answer honestly and vulnerably. I'll share how
• 0:56
  Speaker 1: I am. But we are complex And there are a
• 1:00
  Speaker 1: lot of things going on inside of us. So the
• 1:05
  Speaker 1: answer to how am I doing today might be all
• 1:10
  Speaker 1: over the place with everything that is going on in
• 1:13
  Speaker 1: our lives. Let's dig a little deeper today, shall we?
• 1:17
  Speaker 1: Let's give this some thought. I'll go first. How am
• 1:22
  Speaker 1: I today? I'm feeling wildly good. Unsettled, actually. I'm actually trying,
• 1:32
  Speaker 1: trying to choose gratitude, which means constantly redirecting my thoughts
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  Speaker 1: away from deeply rooted stories that aren't even true. Do
• 1:44
  Speaker 1: you know what I mean? Like, for example, one story
• 1:47
  Speaker 1: my mind tells me that isn't true is you're not
• 1:51
  Speaker 1: doing enough. You should be booking jobs and climbing more
• 1:55
  Speaker 1: ladders before it's too late. And I have to tell myself, hello,
• 2:01
  Speaker 1: that is not true. I am writing another book. I'm
• 2:06
  Speaker 1: maintaining my relationships with my husband and my girls and
• 2:09
  Speaker 1: my friends, my mom, building a brand. So no, that's
• 2:14
  Speaker 1: not true. So yeah, what story is your mind telling
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  Speaker 1: you that isn't true? Take a good look at that
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  Speaker 1: and then say it out loud. that is not true.
• 2:29
  Speaker 1: So back to the question, how am I? I am
• 2:37
  Speaker 1: also fearful every day of what may happen in the world.
• 2:44
  Speaker 1: I have to really be intentional to not dive into
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  Speaker 1: what ifs that can pull me right down into despair
• 2:53
  Speaker 1: because Living in that scary place is not a fun
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  Speaker 1: way to live. And I'm not supposed to carry the
• 3:01
  Speaker 1: weight of the whole world solely on my shoulders. I
• 3:07
  Speaker 1: am also trying to every day be the mom that
• 3:13
  Speaker 1: my girls need in this moment. They're in very different
• 3:18
  Speaker 1: stages in life right now at 29, 24, and 20.
• 3:21
  Speaker 1: And so am I at 54. So there is a
• 3:26
  Speaker 1: lot of consideration around all of that. Am I capable
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  Speaker 1: of listening instead of jumping in with solutions? without making
• 3:35
  Speaker 1: it about me and my feelings around whatever is happening.
• 3:39
  Speaker 1: Am I leading well? Do they find strength in themselves
• 3:44
  Speaker 1: through me and my responses? I don't know. And then
• 3:50
  Speaker 1: there's my marriage, which is also a big part of me.
• 3:55
  Speaker 1: Good news, you guys. I'm actually feeling secure in my marriage.
• 4:00
  Speaker 1: I said it. This is new for me and it
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  Speaker 1: feels really good. But it also feels scary to say
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  Speaker 1: because my mind wants to reject security and go back
• 4:13
  Speaker 1: to that fearful mindset that tells me, familiarly, stop, don't
• 4:20
  Speaker 1: love too much or you'll get hurt or you'll feel disappointed.
• 4:23
  Speaker 1: It's too risky to trust. It's a weird feeling. I'm
• 4:28
  Speaker 1: tottering between choosing joy and loving without expectations, and then
• 4:34
  Speaker 1: feeling guilty for even being happy when so many others
• 4:39
  Speaker 1: are suffering. Does this happen to you? Do you notice
• 4:43
  Speaker 1: that you're happy for once, and then all of a
• 4:47
  Speaker 1: sudden you feel bad about being happy, so you start
• 4:50
  Speaker 1: to self-sabotage? You're not alone, okay? Let's think this one through, though.
• 4:57
  Speaker 1: Did you hear my conversation last week with Dr. Kelly McGonigal?
• 5:01
  Speaker 1: I hope you'll check it out if you haven't. Her
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  Speaker 1: new book is Joy is a Risk Worth Taking, and
• 5:08
  Speaker 1: it's true. Yes, joy can be a risk. She suggests
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  Speaker 1: a joy review. Instead of telling yourself you shouldn't trust
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  Speaker 1: a good thing because it could go wrong, you focus
• 5:22
  Speaker 1: on the things that are going well. instead. And you
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  Speaker 1: let that lead you. Kind of like this. Instead of
• 5:30
  Speaker 1: travel is stressful, change it to when we travel, we
• 5:35
  Speaker 1: have a great time together. Or we have a lot
• 5:39
  Speaker 1: of things on our to-do list around the house. It
• 5:41
  Speaker 1: can become really tense. Instead, we can break this down
• 5:47
  Speaker 1: and do it together. So let yourself focus on the
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  Speaker 1: good and not the bad. It has to become a
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  Speaker 1: practice though, so it can override all of the negative
• 5:59
  Speaker 1: noise going on in there. And you know what, guys?
• 6:03
  Speaker 1: When I'm working this hard to choose myself, sometimes it's
• 6:08
  Speaker 1: really hard to get motivated to work out. Right now,
• 6:14
  Speaker 1: I'm feeling the physical and mental fallout from that. knowing
• 6:19
  Speaker 1: I need to get back on that wagon and also
• 6:22
  Speaker 1: feeling like a phony that I'm not practicing what I
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  Speaker 1: preach when it comes to choosing me. So sorry about that.
• 6:30
  Speaker 1: I want to be strong and independent in my golden years.
• 6:34
  Speaker 1: Yet I hit snooze when my alarm goes off at
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  Speaker 1: 6 a.m. and I let myself down by not protecting
• 6:41
  Speaker 1: my time for workouts. So this comes back to the
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  Speaker 1: very beginning. I have to say it out loud. This
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  Speaker 1: is a story that is not true. I work out
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  Speaker 1: a lot and when I can, I eat well and
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  Speaker 1: I take good care of myself. I'm doing the best
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  Speaker 1: I can. So back to the original question, how am
• 7:10
  Speaker 1: I today? Today, you know what? I'm feeling discouraged. by
• 7:19
  Speaker 1: the fact that no one seems to want to hire
• 7:23
  Speaker 1: me as an actress. That's pretty hard to say out loud.
• 7:28
  Speaker 1: It's hard to share with you guys. It's very vulnerable.
• 7:32
  Speaker 1: And yeah, I've pivoted successfully as a businesswoman and I
• 7:37
  Speaker 1: am finding true purpose in the things that I am
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  Speaker 1: working on. And I'm so grateful that I get to
• 7:43
  Speaker 1: talk to all of you through this podcast and my
• 7:46
  Speaker 1: socials and that I'm able to create beautiful choices for
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  Speaker 1: women with my fashion brand. And yet, I miss acting.
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  Speaker 1: I still long to be on another incredible show or
• 8:02
  Speaker 1: in a big interesting movie. I'm trying to stay positive
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  Speaker 1: that the right project will come. And That it just
• 8:11
  Speaker 1: takes that one person to believe in me and change
• 8:15
  Speaker 1: my future. And I absolutely know that's true. I know
• 8:20
  Speaker 1: it's coming. But I'm trying to block out the feelings
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  Speaker 1: of rejection and remain focused and intentional about not accepting
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  Speaker 1: less than I want in my career. Or who knows,
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  Speaker 1: maybe just letting go of that part of my career entirely.
• 8:39
  Speaker 1: I don't even know. And that's the thing. Sometimes we
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  Speaker 1: don't know. We don't have it figured out. I'm in
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  Speaker 1: the in between. I know there are others who feel
• 8:51
  Speaker 1: this way. But when I ask myself, how are you today?
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  Speaker 1: This is how I am. I am happy. I'm unsettled.
• 9:02
  Speaker 1: I feel secure. I'm discouraged. I'm all the adjectives. And
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  Speaker 1: I'm sharing this to be real and honest with you,
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  Speaker 1: my me family, who I know can relate because we
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  Speaker 1: all have different realities. I've learned so much from talking
• 9:23
  Speaker 1: to all of you and meeting you on my I
• 9:26
  Speaker 1: Choose Me book tour, hearing from my pod family. We
• 9:30
  Speaker 1: are all struggling to keep it together sometimes. We are
• 9:35
  Speaker 1: all battling our own demons. trying to keep up. That's
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  Speaker 1: my truthful answer to the question, how are you today?
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  Speaker 1: I bet yours is as full of layers as mine is.
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  Speaker 1: So my challenge to you is to take some time now,
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  Speaker 1: if you can, and reflect on this question too. Don't
• 10:00
  Speaker 1: be ashamed to go there and feel it instead of
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  Speaker 1: pushing things down. Allow yourself this moment to be honest
• 10:10
  Speaker 1: with yourself. Even if it feels hard, you're choosing yourself
• 10:16
  Speaker 1: by telling yourself, actually, I'm not okay today. Thank you
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  Speaker 1: for sitting with me and hearing me share and allowing
• 10:26
  Speaker 1: yourself to slow down long enough to really think things through.
• 10:31
  Speaker 1: How are we today? I'm proud of the work we're
• 10:36
  Speaker 1: doing here as we continue to learn to choose ourselves.
• 10:40
  Speaker 1: Is there something in particular that you're struggling with, that
• 10:44
  Speaker 1: you're stuck on? Let's talk about it. Call me. Call
• 10:48
  Speaker 1: the I Choose Me hotline. It's up and running at 844-5JENNY.
• 10:51
  Speaker 1: That's 844-553-6643. Thank you guys. I love you. And I
• 10:53
  Speaker 1: hope we are all doing okay.