Latest / The Tom & Gerry Show Podcast / Episode 127: Total Recall
Transcript
- 0:00Speaker 1: Hello all, I'm just back from ladder shop I had
- 0:05Speaker 1: to return some ladders that had been recalled due to
- 0:08Speaker 1: faulty rungs if you believe that I said to them
- 0:13Speaker 1: do I have to return the old ladder if it's
- 0:16Speaker 1: just the bottom rung that's faulty because I can chop
- 0:20Speaker 1: that one off and the rest of the ladder will
- 0:22Speaker 1: be perfectly fine it'll just be a foot shorter but
- 0:26Speaker 1: I can just buy another ladder and make that one
- 0:30Speaker 1: up the top The lad in the shop looked at
- 0:33Speaker 1: me like I were from Mars. I said, I'm not
- 0:35Speaker 1: asking for money back, lad. I'm just asking you to
- 0:39Speaker 1: sell me a new ladder. Some people, they know nought
- 0:43Speaker 1: about good business, I tell thee. Or ladders, for that matter.
- 0:49Speaker 1: I'll see thee.
- 0:58Speaker 2: Hello and welcome to this week's episode of the Tom
- 1:01Speaker 2: and Gerry show, where Tom O'Mahony has just informed me,
- 1:04Speaker 2: Gerry McBride, that I'm sounding too sexy tonight.
- 1:07Speaker 1: Tone it down a bit, Gerry. Tone it down a bit.
- 1:11Speaker 1: I'm not.
- 1:11Speaker 2: Leave some booty for the rest of us, says Tom.
- 1:13Speaker 1: I'm not great. If I turned around and if I
- 1:17Speaker 1: said to you, Gerry, secure the spice fields on Arrakis.
- 1:22Speaker 2: LAUGHTER It's like that. So I reckon between the two
- 1:27Speaker 2: of us we'll balance out. We'll just be base level
- 1:30Speaker 2: normal sexiness. It's not even that.
- 1:32Speaker 1: No, I'm saying that because I turned into the big
- 1:35Speaker 1: fat baron in June yesterday. It was herself's birthday and
- 1:40Speaker 1: I ate like it was my birthday. My last fucking
- 1:43Speaker 1: birthday suffered.
- 1:44Speaker 2: Your last day on this earth.
- 1:46Speaker 1: It wasn't right. The amount of, like, it just wasn't.
- 1:50Speaker 1: I'd say I took on about 8,000 calories yesterday. That's
- 1:53Speaker 1: not right. Sure it's not, like, Do you know what
- 1:55Speaker 1: I mean? The fucking caught me going around the place
- 1:57Speaker 1: eating ice cream and fucking full fry-ups.
- 2:04Speaker 2: That's what kind of sort of half has me saved, Tom,
- 2:08Speaker 2: is that I don't eat much sweets and I don't
- 2:11Speaker 2: eat much ice cream or anything like that.
- 2:13Speaker 1: Neither do I, but that's the only thing. But yesterday
- 2:17Speaker 1: I went cuckoo bananas out for the day and ate like,
- 2:20Speaker 1: I literally ate like, I was my son's age and
- 2:26Speaker 1: I got given my money.
- 2:27Speaker 2: You got, you were at your, what was I going
- 2:30Speaker 2: to say, your trick-or-treating home.
- 2:31Speaker 1: It was just carnage. Carnage chair. There's no rhyme or
- 2:35Speaker 1: reason to the kind of fucking shit I was eating yesterday.
- 2:38Speaker 1: And did I feel good? No, I didn't. I woke
- 2:40Speaker 1: up this morning missing a tooth, I'm pretty sure. It's like, fuck,
- 2:47Speaker 1: hungover from fucking sugar. Jesus Christ. So yeah, I apologise
- 2:53Speaker 1: to anybody if I sound fatter on the fucking, on
- 2:56Speaker 1: the watch and recall it. And I'm going to be
- 2:57Speaker 1: clapping throughout because there's a midgie has followed me in
- 3:00Speaker 1: the door and now it's flying over and back in
- 3:03Speaker 1: front of the screen. Oh, I see it. So yeah, yeah.
- 3:05Speaker 2: That's not.
- 3:06Speaker 1: Wow.
- 3:06Speaker 2: Like, you know, if we could fucking explain it to
- 3:09Speaker 2: our ancestors, Tom, how I can see a midge four
- 3:12Speaker 2: counties away.
- 3:13Speaker 1: Isn't that incredible actually?
- 3:15Speaker 2: Not incredible when you put it like that.
- 3:16Speaker 1: Yeah. When you say that, yeah. You say, well, clearly
- 3:18Speaker 1: he's possessed and let's burn him. Yeah. It's, um.
- 3:23Speaker 2: I got the cunt. You got him.
- 3:24Speaker 1: That was one loud clap. I'm sorry for blowing the
- 3:26Speaker 1: fucking ears off anybody listening on public transport or whatever,
- 3:28Speaker 1: but I just got the fucker. He's smushed between my
- 3:31Speaker 1: two hands. But no doubt there'll be a family of
- 3:33Speaker 1: them hiding in behind the fucking whatever.
- 3:36Speaker 2: We're going to get cancelled for midge cruelty here, Tom.
- 3:40Speaker 2: We may as well do one more show.
- 3:41Speaker 1: They're not called midges anymore. They're just called little flies.
- 3:45Speaker 2: Little flies.
- 3:46Speaker 1: To make them feel better. Um.
- 3:48Speaker 2: We're going to rock and roll, folks.
- 3:49Speaker 1: How are you doing?
- 3:49Speaker 2: You're very welcome along. To Tom, well-fed O'Mahony, and Jerry,
- 3:54Speaker 2: sexy as all hell, McBride.
- 3:57Speaker 1: Oh.
- 3:58Speaker 2: I know. Don't disappoint me, McBride.
- 4:02Speaker 1: Screw me that spite, and I'll make you Duke.
- 4:07Speaker 2: It's hard to say whether a Monaghan accent can be sexy. Well,
- 4:10Speaker 2: let's find out, folks, as we rock and roll with
- 4:12Speaker 2: the Tom and Jerry show. Welcome to any new listeners
- 4:15Speaker 2: that we have on the gang, the... The normal listening gang,
- 4:19Speaker 2: you all know what's coming up next. It's the first
- 4:21Speaker 2: segment of the show. It's the weekly what have you.
- 4:23Speaker 1: This is a very complicated case, Maude.
- 4:25Speaker 2: You know, a lot of ins, a lot of outs,
- 4:26Speaker 2: a lot of what have yous. And a lot of
- 4:29Speaker 2: strands to keep in my head, man.
- 4:32Speaker 1: Serious, serious stuff going on out there, Ger.
- 4:34Speaker 2: Serious stuff. Before I hijack you, there is serious stuff
- 4:38Speaker 2: going on in the world. Does a new story ever
- 4:42Speaker 2: just pass you by, Tom? Just completely pass you by?
- 4:46Speaker 2: And you look on the website or you look on
- 4:49Speaker 2: social media or something like that and you go, fuck,
- 4:51Speaker 2: how long has that been going on?
- 4:52Speaker 1: Regular.
- 4:52Speaker 2: I had no idea that they're, I had no idea
- 4:53Speaker 2: that they're burning France to the ground as we speak.
- 4:56Speaker 1: Quite literally, a fella in the petrol station this morning,
- 4:59Speaker 1: nice Romanian chap that I know, he goes, Jesus, man,
- 5:02Speaker 1: what's going on in France? And I went, and honestly,
- 5:06Speaker 1: not a word about it.
- 5:07Speaker 2: Didn't know what the fuck was going on.
- 5:08Speaker 1: Honestly, Ger, this will tell you how, how echo chamber,
- 5:12Speaker 1: the kind of echo chamber I live in. Yeah. Um,
- 5:16Speaker 1: Leinster beat Clermont at the weekend and France beat, or
- 5:19Speaker 1: Munster beat Paris Racing 92. And in my head I went, yeah,
- 5:25Speaker 1: I thought I'd see more from now in the start
- 5:26Speaker 1: of the Champions Cup. And your mum was looking at
- 5:28Speaker 1: me like, they're burning France. Oh, oh, right.
- 5:34Speaker 2: They're at that. They're kicking off in France, but that's
- 5:38Speaker 2: not the weekly what have you, because quite frankly, for
- 5:39Speaker 2: time that happens so goddamn often, it's not news. But
- 5:42Speaker 2: you came to me with some other news.
- 5:43Speaker 1: This is big news. This is weekly what have you news, buddy.
- 5:47Speaker 1: It's high up their stuff now, in all fairness. And
- 5:50Speaker 1: you know us. Next, and I don't mean what's coming
- 5:56Speaker 1: after this. I mean, next, the shop. Yes. Jesus Christ, Ger.
- 6:00Speaker 1: They've gone ahead and they've recalled women's shoes over fears
- 6:03Speaker 1: that they'll make you fall over.
- 6:05Speaker 2: I mean, like, how bad do you have to make
- 6:07Speaker 2: a fucking shoe, Tom, that you can't walk in it?
- 6:11Speaker 1: Like I'm looking at it here Ger and honestly it
- 6:15Speaker 1: looks like it looks like they deleted the horse out
- 6:18Speaker 1: of the you know in Photoshop and they just left
- 6:22Speaker 1: the fucking hooves they're disgusting and I'm glad nobody's anybody
- 6:27Speaker 1: who attempts to wear these vile things if you do
- 6:30Speaker 1: fall over in it you'll probably end up improving the situation.
- 6:34Speaker 2: Yeah because I'm looking at them here Tom and this
- 6:37Speaker 2: is next are not just recalling these shoes They are
- 6:42Speaker 2: urgently recalling these shoes.
- 6:45Speaker 1: I'm guessing they are like... They've been filed. They've been
- 6:48Speaker 1: served with a couple already of, you know, sandal scandals
- 6:54Speaker 1: in the last while where people are falling off these fucking...
- 6:56Speaker 1: But I mean, like, you know, it isn't Louis Vuitton
- 6:59Speaker 1: or whatever. No, it's not some big... Yeah, it's not
- 7:02Speaker 1: some big stiletto 12-inch.
- 7:05Speaker 2: It's a fairly... It.
- 7:07Speaker 1: Looks like a big block of wicker. That's what it
- 7:09Speaker 1: looks like.
- 7:10Speaker 2: I believe, pardon my ignorance here for the lady listeners
- 7:12Speaker 2: of this show, but I believe it's a wedge.
- 7:15Speaker 1: I don't know what the fuck it is. No, that's not.
- 7:17Speaker 2: Is that a wedge?
- 7:18Speaker 1: Anyway, needless to say, it's fucking disgusting. And it looks
- 7:22Speaker 1: like something a cobbler would use for making a shoe.
- 7:25Speaker 2: They should recall it because of the fucking state of it, Tom.
- 7:30Speaker 1: Listen to us two hetero fucking wankers slagging off a
- 7:33Speaker 1: fucking pair of woman's shoes.
- 7:35Speaker 2: But it is, I understand, a tripping hazard.
- 7:39Speaker 1: It is, like what has essentially happened is the Office
- 7:42Speaker 1: of Product Safety Standards, they've, in Next, have ordered it
- 7:46Speaker 1: immediately because they've had, leading to several injuries, people falling
- 7:55Speaker 1: off these fucking things. I mean, find me a pair
- 7:59Speaker 1: of women's shoes where they haven't fallen in a nightclub
- 8:01Speaker 1: or whatever.
- 8:02Speaker 2: Yeah, I know what you mean. I will say, it
- 8:04Speaker 2: looks like the kind of shoe that would absolutely injure
- 8:06Speaker 2: you if it was fucked.
- 8:07Speaker 1: Could you? That's what I mean. It's just a big
- 8:10Speaker 1: old lump. Like I said, it looks like they Photoshop
- 8:12Speaker 1: deleted the horse and just left the fucking feet behind.
- 8:15Speaker 1: They're fucking disgusting looking fucking things. Big clodhopper looking yokes.
- 8:19Speaker 2: It looks honestly, if you're Mrs. Smith, turn around and
- 8:21Speaker 2: you say, Tom, will you get me a pair of shoes?
- 8:22Speaker 2: And you're like, I don't fuck it, I'll get you
- 8:23Speaker 2: a pair of shoes. And you went out and started
- 8:25Speaker 2: filing down the wooden blocks that come between pallets.
- 8:29Speaker 1: You see, what they're saying is.
- 8:30Speaker 2: The corner block of a pallet.
- 8:32Speaker 1: That's actually what it looks like.
- 8:34Speaker 2: It looks like.
- 8:35Speaker 1: Do you know the Weetie Bixie looking stuff that.
- 8:37Speaker 2: Yeah, the corner block of a pallet. I'll get you
- 8:40Speaker 2: a pair of shoes, Pat. Don't worry about it.
- 8:41Speaker 1: Essentially what it is isn't just that they're fucking horrible
- 8:44Speaker 1: looking or there hasn't been a million shoes that may
- 8:45Speaker 1: look like this, but they made a fuck up in
- 8:47Speaker 1: making them, Ger. So the foot band unexpectedly can become
- 8:52Speaker 1: dislodged during use, which.
- 8:55Speaker 2: Is walking.
- 8:56Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah. The user could fall leading to injuries. The
- 9:01Speaker 1: defects mean that the shoes no longer meet the requirements
- 9:03Speaker 1: of the general product safety regulations. They're no longer a shoe, Ger.
- 9:07Speaker 2: Okay, fair enough.
- 9:08Speaker 1: And so they said, no, we need you to return them.
- 9:11Speaker 1: And people took to online raging that they weren't actually available.
- 9:15Speaker 1: I mean, for the love of fuck.
- 9:17Speaker 2: Because I was going to say, how many pairs did
- 9:19Speaker 2: they recall of these? Like six or eight? Who fucking
- 9:21Speaker 2: bought these things?
- 9:22Speaker 1: You see, this is the thing. People probably went in
- 9:24Speaker 1: and bought six or eight at a time, like because
- 9:26Speaker 1: next is, you know. Well, what it got me to
- 9:28Speaker 1: thinking about, because could I give half a fuck about
- 9:31Speaker 1: women's shoes? No, I couldn't. And it is, you know,
- 9:33Speaker 1: I mean, all of them look fucking lethal anyway when
- 9:36Speaker 1: you're getting up and out in the neck of the woods.
- 9:38Speaker 1: But what it got me to thinking about was the
- 9:40Speaker 1: kind of recalls that have happened down through the years in,
- 9:46Speaker 1: throughout the world, essentially.
- 9:48Speaker 2: There's a couple of things that, I mean, like, you know,
- 9:51Speaker 2: I feel like we can't go into... Lidl or Power
- 9:54Speaker 2: City would outpass and they'll always have like a little
- 9:56Speaker 2: sign as you walk in the door that says oh
- 9:58Speaker 2: by the way anybody that bought such and such a
- 10:00Speaker 2: thing bring them back we're recalling it and like that's
- 10:04Speaker 2: one thing when you're going to Lidl and you get
- 10:06Speaker 2: in your weekly shop and you see that they're recalling
- 10:08Speaker 2: a um A parkside power drill, fair enough. But like
- 10:11Speaker 2: if it's Power City, you might go two, three years
- 10:14Speaker 2: before you walk into that place.
- 10:15Speaker 1: Well, that's the other side. And I suppose that's what
- 10:17Speaker 1: they're hoping. You know what I mean? They've put it
- 10:19Speaker 1: out there that you, you know, we sell it to
- 10:22Speaker 1: the people as best we could.
- 10:24Speaker 2: What do you want us to do? Drive around the
- 10:26Speaker 2: house and tell them?
- 10:26Speaker 1: Like we have right now, we have three pumps in
- 10:30Speaker 1: the house. And I don't know if you saw it.
- 10:32Speaker 1: It was on the news and everything earlier this year. Actually,
- 10:36Speaker 1: there's four pumps of the same brand, Ronson, I think
- 10:38Speaker 1: they are. And that particular brand, we checked it out. Yeah,
- 10:42Speaker 1: they're all being fucking recalled. So they're going to send,
- 10:44Speaker 1: they got to send out a guy to replace them all.
- 10:45Speaker 1: I'm like, you've got some whore of a job idea, son.
- 10:48Speaker 2: Good luck to you, pal. But anyway, you put together
- 10:51Speaker 2: a couple of fairly famous recalls here, Tom, for us
- 10:54Speaker 2: to take the piss of over the next 10 minutes.
- 10:57Speaker 1: Well, there was one, like the one that jumped out
- 10:59Speaker 1: to me because we all have heard of the ones,
- 11:01Speaker 1: you know, like the, like in the motor industry, the Skyline.
- 11:04Speaker 1: Like they're nearly all in the fucking motor industry.
- 11:07Speaker 2: There's a lot of it going on. And in the
- 11:09Speaker 2: words of, wasn't it in Fight Club where your man
- 11:12Speaker 2: was an insurance assessor? And it's like, you know, if
- 11:14Speaker 2: the projected cost of injuries is less than the cost
- 11:18Speaker 2: of a recall, we don't do one. Yeah.
- 11:21Speaker 1: Yeah. This was kind of a terrifying one from General Motors.
- 11:24Speaker 1: And General Motors owns so many things. They're the GMs.
- 11:27Speaker 1: Sea trucks, but like they're into, you know, they kind
- 11:29Speaker 1: of have a hand on Vauxhall. They're into... General Motor
- 11:32Speaker 1: Parts cover a load of things.
- 11:34Speaker 2: Make air fryers.
- 11:35Speaker 1: Yeah. In 2014, they recalled over 15 million vehicles with
- 11:40Speaker 1: some estimates of up to 25 million worldwide because of
- 11:43Speaker 1: a faulty... Jesus Christ. Yeah, because of a faulty ignition
- 11:46Speaker 1: switch that could shut off the engine while driving, cutting
- 11:50Speaker 1: power steering and brakes.
- 11:51Speaker 2: Yes.
- 11:55Speaker 1: And yeah they were able to link that solicitors were
- 11:58Speaker 1: able to link that to over 100 deaths worldwide okay
- 12:02Speaker 1: yeah you're panning down the fucking motorway at 130k or
- 12:04Speaker 1: whatever next thing boom everything goes boom steering engine kaput
- 12:11Speaker 1: exactly and they like that they recalled them and they
- 12:15Speaker 1: went to court and they had their day in court
- 12:16Speaker 1: with them it hasn't said how much they had to
- 12:18Speaker 1: pay on that side of things but I'm sure like
- 12:21Speaker 1: they're I remember there was a.
- 12:22Speaker 2: 25 million cars, Tom.
- 12:24Speaker 1: Yeah, but sure. I mean, Volkswagen had, and I'd say.
- 12:27Speaker 2: This was a famous one. This I remember.
- 12:29Speaker 1: This is only, this is maybe 10 years ago or more.
- 12:32Speaker 1: Volkswagen recalled, and they only did it because they got caught. Well.
- 12:36Speaker 1: A lot of the time, in these, in modern day,
- 12:40Speaker 1: like the car company would stick their hand up and go, shit.
- 12:46Speaker 1: But Volkswagen got caught. And this wasn't really a safety
- 12:49Speaker 1: regulation thing. This is more an environmental thing. So, you know,
- 12:53Speaker 1: like you'll see on your NCT search, unless you've got
- 12:56Speaker 1: a bad injector or something, nine times out of ten,
- 12:59Speaker 1: a half-decent car will pass on the CO2 emissions. Well,
- 13:03Speaker 1: Volkswagen recalled roughly 11 million diesel vehicles worldwide after admitting
- 13:09Speaker 1: to using software to cheat emission tests costing the company
- 13:14Speaker 1: over 18 billion in fines, buybacks and settlements.
- 13:18Speaker 2: I mean, that's a lot of passats. That's a lot
- 13:21Speaker 2: of passats.
- 13:22Speaker 1: Like, Jesus. I mean, I've owned a couple of VWs
- 13:25Speaker 1: days as myself and by fuck when they smoke, they smoke.
- 13:29Speaker 2: Yeah. You must have been absolutely going out of your
- 13:32Speaker 2: mind if you were a Volkswagen owner saying like, this
- 13:35Speaker 2: thing is blowing smoke left, right and centre. And to
- 13:38Speaker 2: take it into the Volkswagen dealership and stick it on
- 13:40Speaker 2: the computer and go, no, computer says it's grand. But
- 13:42Speaker 2: I can fucking see it. Yeah. Computer says it's grand
- 13:45Speaker 2: and then to find out It was 100%.
- 13:49Speaker 1: Herself, her entire flower bed at home has died from
- 13:53Speaker 1: me idling in the car in the fucking yard.
- 13:57Speaker 2: The front of the house is just black with soot
- 14:00Speaker 2: from waiting for the kids to come out.
- 14:01Speaker 1: I have the old Land Rover Outsider that's an off
- 14:05Speaker 1: the road vehicle, you know what I mean? But there's
- 14:07Speaker 1: a bit of an injector acting up in the thing,
- 14:10Speaker 1: but it still runs fine. But you can't If I'm
- 14:12Speaker 1: taking something From outside the house Like I can't pull
- 14:14Speaker 1: up Actually I'm back up To the front door Because
- 14:17Speaker 1: I will gas out The fucking hall Like it'll be
- 14:19Speaker 1: You know There'll be termites Ruining the stone Ruining everything
- 14:24Speaker 1: And then of course This was a mad one This
- 14:27Speaker 1: was Johnson & Johnson Back in 1982 We were doing
- 14:30Speaker 1: too young For this one really To know about it.
- 14:32Speaker 2: I might have got a bit Of this one now
- 14:34Speaker 2: Johnson & Johnson Was wiping my arse At the time.
- 14:36Speaker 1: They were Johnson & Johnson Are still flying it They're
- 14:39Speaker 1: still worldwide And they're still making Every kind of a
- 14:41Speaker 1: fucking thing But this was a Tylenol tampering case, right?
- 14:47Speaker 2: Oh, yeah.
- 14:47Speaker 1: What was this? This was... This is pretty fucked up.
- 14:50Speaker 2: This is fucked up. This is America.
- 14:52Speaker 1: So, this is Tylenol. So, I mean, obviously, heavy-duty painkiller anyway. Yeah. So,
- 14:57Speaker 1: but turns out somebody had laced capsules. I don't know
- 15:04Speaker 1: how many capsules they laced. So, they actually laced... They
- 15:08Speaker 1: laced them with cyanide. Fucking.
- 15:11Speaker 2: cyanide I mean this is not I will say okay
- 15:16Speaker 2: Volkswagen were being sneaky cunts fair enough this I'm like
- 15:21Speaker 2: someone decided to be Jigsaw all.
- 15:23Speaker 1: Of a sudden I don't know if they ever found
- 15:26Speaker 1: the person because it's saying here that it's still an
- 15:28Speaker 1: unknown person who it was but like cyanide ain't gonna
- 15:32Speaker 1: get in you'd assume cyanide I know I mean unless
- 15:36Speaker 1: it was made in a Russian lab like you want
- 15:38Speaker 1: like you were fucking god knows what could be in
- 15:40Speaker 1: each other's pockets But this person anyway got cyanide into
- 15:43Speaker 1: a certain amount of these Tylenol ones. They don't fully
- 15:46Speaker 1: know how many in total. Well, they haven't released how
- 15:48Speaker 1: many in total, but this was in Chicago. Seven people
- 15:51Speaker 1: died from cyanide poisoning from prescription Tylenol. So they pulled,
- 15:56Speaker 1: J & J pulled 31 million bottles off shelves.
- 16:02Speaker 2: God damn!
- 16:04Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean, that's not somebody getting a bit of
- 16:06Speaker 1: an upset tummy. That's straight up killing you.
- 16:09Speaker 2: That's, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's getting it gone. I mean,
- 16:11Speaker 2: can you imagine being hung over the bits, Tom? And
- 16:13Speaker 2: you're like, Jesus, hey, missus, where's the Tylenol? I'm fucking
- 16:17Speaker 2: dying over here. And it's like, plunk, plunk, get the
- 16:19Speaker 2: two of them into you. And then you're like, oh,
- 16:21Speaker 2: I feel fucking worse. I feel worse. And the missus
- 16:23Speaker 2: is just giving you lacquerie for like.
- 16:24Speaker 1: I told you not to be drinking.
- 16:26Speaker 2: I told you not to be drinking. And you just
- 16:28Speaker 2: clutch your belly, go over dead.
- 16:31Speaker 1: This is much more in recent times. And I'd say
- 16:34Speaker 1: people probably remember this one, 2016. The Samsung Galaxy Note 7.
- 16:38Speaker 1: Do you remember that motherfucker? I mean it's a great yoke.
- 16:42Speaker 1: Great yoke. Provided you didn't leave it anywhere near anything.
- 16:46Speaker 1: Including yourself. They permanently discontinued it. And they withdrew. And
- 16:53Speaker 1: brought back up to 2.7 million units. Of this particular
- 16:56Speaker 1: Samsung Galaxy Note. Because of a design flaw. A fucking
- 17:00Speaker 1: design flaw. Where they left obviously a match. And some
- 17:03Speaker 1: fucking firelighters inside it. Because it caused the batteries to
- 17:06Speaker 1: overheat and catch fucking fire, Gerry.
- 17:08Speaker 2: You see, how does that not get through your quality control, Tom?
- 17:13Speaker 1: You know, like, would you not run at this, like,
- 17:15Speaker 1: you're going, well, hold on. What kept the six clean
- 17:19Speaker 1: and cool? Yeah, let's do that.
- 17:22Speaker 2: No, no, no. This is the seven. It has to
- 17:24Speaker 2: be better than that. Let's clean it all up and
- 17:26Speaker 2: streamline it and take out all everything. Are you sure
- 17:28Speaker 2: you want to take that out? It's a bit of
- 17:29Speaker 2: an old heat sink there. It's a bit of an
- 17:31Speaker 2: old fan. It stops it from overheating. be grand, or
- 17:34Speaker 2: whoever looks at their phone anyway. They won't be on
- 17:36Speaker 2: from one end of the day to the next. And
- 17:38Speaker 2: then as you have it in your hand, you notice
- 17:40Speaker 2: the fucking thing is swelling as the battery's about to pop.
- 17:43Speaker 1: Yeah.
- 17:44Speaker 2: Fuck. It's shit like this, Tom, that you get told
- 17:48Speaker 2: on planes, don't let your phone fall down between the
- 17:51Speaker 2: seats or anything like that.
- 17:52Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah. So, this is, I mean, Jesus Christ.
- 17:56Speaker 2: Because it's an incendiary device.
- 17:58Speaker 1: Now, I mean, there's any amount of these things worldwide....
- 18:02Speaker 2: Give me one more. Give me one good one here.
- 18:04Speaker 1: I'll give you one. I'm going to give you two
- 18:05Speaker 1: more because just because of the terror that this would involve.
- 18:11Speaker 1: So the 2009 Toyota Unintended Acceleration. Now, Toyota rarely fuck
- 18:17Speaker 1: with you. But in 2009, 2010 models of a bunch
- 18:22Speaker 1: of different, from the Avensis through to the Camry, They
- 18:25Speaker 1: record over 9 million vehicles globally due to sticky accelerator
- 18:29Speaker 1: pedals and floor mats trapping the throttle, leading to heavy
- 18:33Speaker 1: federal fines. Yeah, I know. Doubt. Again, the throttle sticks
- 18:39Speaker 1: on you. I mean, as the fella says, you know,
- 18:42Speaker 1: we've all had a clutch going on us and it
- 18:43Speaker 1: ain't coming back off the fucking floor like. Yeah. You know,
- 18:46Speaker 1: but fuck me when the throttle sticks. That happened once
- 18:49Speaker 1: on me. Once and once only. And it was at
- 18:51Speaker 1: low speed and even danger. I did everything but throw
- 18:55Speaker 1: a fucking anchor out the window. Everything I could do
- 18:57Speaker 1: to stop that cunt. Like, it was just terror because
- 19:00Speaker 1: it's out of your fucking hands. Like, it's... Yeah. Ooh.
- 19:03Speaker 2: She's gone.
- 19:04Speaker 1: And in recent times, Ger, in recent times, i.e. only
- 19:09Speaker 1: a couple of days ago, we'll say last week, here
- 19:14Speaker 1: in Ireland, the beloved breakfast of a nation, of our childhood,
- 19:19Speaker 1: Ready Break, Oh.
- 19:21Speaker 2: Yeah. I think of a box of fucking Ready Break downstairs. Tom,
- 19:24Speaker 2: what's going on?
- 19:24Speaker 1: Well, fucking clean out into whatchamacallit because, oh, look, I'll
- 19:30Speaker 1: give it to you straight. Recall including batch of 750
- 19:33Speaker 1: gram batches of Ready Break original with the following best befores,
- 19:37Speaker 1: 8th to the 7th, 9th to the 7th, 29th to
- 19:39Speaker 1: the 7th. This is a warning for people. Yeah. 4th
- 19:41Speaker 1: to the 8th, 19th to the 8th, 20th to the 8th,
- 19:43Speaker 1: 15th to the 9th, 16th to the 9th. And pretty
- 19:48Speaker 1: much the same for the 450 boxes as well. most
- 19:50Speaker 1: of it came out of Tesco and Tesco super smooth
- 19:53Speaker 1: porridge which I'm guessing is made by fucking Ready.
- 19:55Speaker 2: Break it's all yeah all one and the same.
- 19:57Speaker 1: So what would be the big deal I mean are
- 19:59Speaker 1: they gone off no turns out that they found flower
- 20:02Speaker 1: beetles yeah and they're not called flower beetles because they're
- 20:08Speaker 1: cute no these are old Weevils that bury themselves into flour.
- 20:11Speaker 1: About three to four millimetres long. Little reddish, shiny, black,
- 20:16Speaker 1: brownie fellas. Yeah. Rotten fucking things. Yeah, they belong to
- 20:22Speaker 1: the Tribolium Guinness family.
- 20:25Speaker 2: Something tells me that's central heating in a bowl, as
- 20:29Speaker 2: Ready Breaks' slogan once was. That's it, yeah.
- 20:31Speaker 1: Central heating for kids, yeah.
- 20:33Speaker 2: I know the bowl you'll be central heating after you've
- 20:35Speaker 2: eaten a bowl full of that now. Yep.
- 20:37Speaker 1: 100% You will be Yeah Your tribolium Will be on
- 20:41Speaker 1: fucking display For the remainder of the day You will
- 20:44Speaker 1: not be able to walk I'm going to tell you
- 20:45Speaker 1: If you're full of beetles And fucking You won't be
- 20:49Speaker 1: worried about A sticky accelerator pedal I can tell you
- 20:51Speaker 1: that much.
- 20:51Speaker 2: No You ain't leaving home Yeah You'd be You'd be
- 20:55Speaker 2: skid marks Of a different story there Tom.
- 20:57Speaker 1: Exactly So just Steer clear of Raybrick From The last
- 21:01Speaker 1: two months basically If it's inside the cupboard Fuck it
- 21:03Speaker 1: Clean it out.
- 21:04Speaker 2: That's you there going around the house in your shit shoes,
- 21:08Speaker 2: eating your ready break, heading off to work in the Jetta.
- 21:13Speaker 1: I swear to God, I saw an 83 Jetta yesterday
- 21:17Speaker 1: and I had so much happiness. They were quite, they
- 21:19Speaker 1: looked like quite a well-to-do couple, but it looked like
- 21:22Speaker 1: a couple that had come down out of the mountain
- 21:23Speaker 1: but had worn their best clothes. And they were, it
- 21:26Speaker 1: was 83 Jetta. The fucking fan belt was screaming.
- 21:30Speaker 2: It was blowing.
- 21:32Speaker 1: Blowing black smoke. It was blowing black smoke out of it.
- 21:35Speaker 1: The fucking rad was. The rad was hopping. Oh, you
- 21:39Speaker 1: know he was running. He was not running on clean
- 21:40Speaker 1: fucking regular. And the thing came to a fucking stop
- 21:44Speaker 1: like something Uncle Buck. You know Uncle Buck's car.
- 21:46Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- 21:48Speaker 1: Like he turned it off the engine, but it was
- 21:49Speaker 1: still knocking. Like, you know what I mean? I had
- 21:52Speaker 1: so much happiness when I saw this thing. I was like, class.
- 21:55Speaker 2: Class well come in here listen there you go watch
- 21:58Speaker 2: out if you have any of that stuff in your
- 21:59Speaker 2: house get it slung but before they recall us Tom
- 22:03Speaker 2: before they recall the Tom and Jerry show we better
- 22:06Speaker 2: bust on with the rest of this thing folks you
- 22:08Speaker 2: know what's coming up it's this lad.
- 22:11Speaker 1: Now there's that guy I had never in the 12
- 22:15Speaker 1: years I lived in Dublinshire and the 20 years I've
- 22:18Speaker 1: been working in and out of Dublin I had never
- 22:21Speaker 1: heard across, and came across this fella. Never. 100%. You
- 22:25Speaker 1: thought you told me about him before. You didn't. I
- 22:27Speaker 1: would definitely remember a bit of this fucker. For sure.
- 22:30Speaker 1: And this is a diss lad well worth bringing up
- 22:32Speaker 1: because it's historical and it's in keeping with the spookiness
- 22:36Speaker 1: that's coming around the corner, isn't it?
- 22:38Speaker 2: Well, it is spooky season, Tom. This lad, as we
- 22:40Speaker 2: always say on the Tom and Jerry show, can be
- 22:42Speaker 2: anybody that we fucking feel like talking about from one
- 22:44Speaker 2: end of the week to the next and be able
- 22:46Speaker 2: to be Be it somebody current, somebody that did something
- 22:50Speaker 2: very good, somebody that did something very, very bad. What
- 22:53Speaker 2: we have this week is someone who did something incredibly
- 22:55Speaker 2: bad and it ain't current either. And as Tom says there,
- 22:58Speaker 2: it is Halloween. We'd like to tell you the scary
- 23:02Speaker 2: story of the Stony Bar Strangler. Now, if someone told
- 23:08Speaker 2: you about the Stoney Batter Strangler, you'd say they're taking
- 23:10Speaker 2: the piss, right?
- 23:11Speaker 1: It sounds hipster because Stoney Batter has turned into a
- 23:13Speaker 1: fucking hipster area. It's been gentrified and turned into a
- 23:16Speaker 1: hipster giant where, you know, you go for a pint
- 23:18Speaker 1: in the Gravediggers and then you maybe have some coddle and,
- 23:20Speaker 1: you know what I mean, head down to the Stoney
- 23:22Speaker 1: Batter Strangler and just, you know.
- 23:24Speaker 2: There we go.
- 23:25Speaker 1: Yeah, there we go. And an Instagram story, a reel,
- 23:28Speaker 1: the whole thing, like, you know. So it does, to me,
- 23:31Speaker 1: when you sent it to me first, because I had
- 23:33Speaker 1: to double check because I went, yes, Stoney Batter. Stoney
- 23:36Speaker 1: Batter is, for anybody wondering, is not a really shit
- 23:40Speaker 1: pancake mixture. It's a place in the north side of
- 23:48Speaker 1: the city, Dublin, which has been gentrified and turned into
- 23:50Speaker 1: a kind of a hipster area. And the graffiti that
- 23:56Speaker 1: you sent me, or you sent me about it, man,
- 23:58Speaker 1: my phone took me straight to it. With the graffiti,
- 24:01Speaker 1: I recognize seeing that. I saw that graffiti, not knowing
- 24:04Speaker 1: who it was. And then there's plays of songs and
- 24:08Speaker 1: everything that have tied into this bollocks. So... There you go.
- 24:12Speaker 1: Only then did I look into it and I went,
- 24:15Speaker 1: what the fuck?
- 24:15Speaker 2: What the fuck is this? Well, who is the Stoney
- 24:17Speaker 2: Bar Strangler? Here's the thing. Dublin is a city. It's
- 24:20Speaker 2: our capital city if you're living in Ireland. It's got
- 24:23Speaker 2: a long and varied history. And a lot of it is,
- 24:26Speaker 2: you know, a lot of us, they kind of embellish
- 24:28Speaker 2: it and make it up a wee bit. But this
- 24:30Speaker 2: is a real life Jack the Ripper style story from... Dublin,
- 24:36Speaker 2: which is 100% true, and I dare say stacks against
- 24:40Speaker 2: any of the scary stories from anywhere else around the world.
- 24:43Speaker 2: It's the story of a guy called Billy Davis, who...
- 24:47Speaker 2: How do we say this, Tom?
- 24:52Speaker 1: Well, when I read it first, it was like, I
- 24:55Speaker 1: had to read it three times because I went, what?
- 24:58Speaker 1: Because it was 18th century, so we're going right back
- 25:00Speaker 1: to when things were, you know, when it was Jack
- 25:03Speaker 1: the Ripper-y end. It was all by Gaslight, wasn't it?
- 25:06Speaker 1: You know, it's Top Hacks and Gaslight and shine your shoes, sir.
- 25:09Speaker 1: Even though it was in Dublin, you know, but.
- 25:12Speaker 2: And like Stoney Batter wasn't quite as hipster then as
- 25:16Speaker 2: it is now. Oh, proper shithole. This is back in
- 25:20Speaker 2: the proper shithole. And Billy Davis was a disabled man.
- 25:25Speaker 2: He was.
- 25:26Speaker 1: He had no legs, Ger. He had no legs. I
- 25:27Speaker 1: ain't got no legs.
- 25:29Speaker 2: He ain't got no legs. He, he, he, he, and not,
- 25:32Speaker 2: we're not talking about Lieutenant Dan, no legs. We're talking
- 25:35Speaker 2: about like nothing from the waist down. He was a
- 25:38Speaker 2: young man. I mean, like, you know, Dublin in the 1780s.
- 25:41Speaker 2: They're there about... He'd do well to be affluent. Anybody.
- 25:46Speaker 2: Let alone... He did well. Born in the very working
- 25:48Speaker 2: class tenement area. With no legs. A man of no
- 25:51Speaker 2: fucking legs.
- 25:52Speaker 1: Like, he did well enough in that sense. I mean,
- 25:55Speaker 1: you know, you got to take your hat off, your
- 25:57Speaker 1: top hat to this fella one way or another.
- 25:59Speaker 2: You can't take your shoes off, Tom.
- 26:00Speaker 1: No, you can't. Well, he'd fall off them anyway if
- 26:02Speaker 1: you got him off next. But... but the very fact
- 26:07Speaker 1: that he was allowed because I mean in 1786 if
- 26:13Speaker 1: children were born with nothing no legs at all they
- 26:17Speaker 1: were I would say there was a vast majority of
- 26:19Speaker 1: them playing into the fucking, the dodder or whatever river
- 26:21Speaker 1: was nearby. Let's, you know what I mean? They were, like,
- 26:23Speaker 1: let's be honest, this was some Sparta stuff. Only the
- 26:27Speaker 1: strong survive in those.
- 26:28Speaker 2: You would have done well in a world to thrive. Well, like,
- 26:32Speaker 2: you know, at the best of times, infant mortality was
- 26:35Speaker 2: shockingly high. Yeah. At the best of times. At any rate,
- 26:39Speaker 2: Billy Davis was born. Very little is known about his
- 26:42Speaker 2: early life other than the fact that he had no
- 26:44Speaker 2: fucking legs. Um, And he got around town in a bowl.
- 26:50Speaker 1: Yeah, he was known as Billy the Bowl.
- 26:53Speaker 2: Billy in the Bowl. Now, as best as we can
- 26:57Speaker 2: understand that this bowl is like, is a dish of
- 27:00Speaker 2: some sort that he basically plumped himself down into and
- 27:04Speaker 2: then dragged himself around with his hands. Not terribly unlike
- 27:09Speaker 2: Eddie Murphy in Trades and Places.
- 27:10Speaker 1: That's what I had. And there was, he had a
- 27:13Speaker 1: blacksmith make it. So a blacksmith made this thing for him.
- 27:16Speaker 1: So unless there was a wheel on it or if
- 27:19Speaker 1: it was super rounded on the bottom and he just
- 27:21Speaker 1: made a horrific sound dragging himself. But he had two
- 27:24Speaker 1: timber knobs that were actually made for a handle.
- 27:27Speaker 2: That's Billy Valentine.
- 27:29Speaker 1: Billy Valentine. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
- 27:32Speaker 2: That's how he's getting around. Yes, it was the same.
- 27:34Speaker 2: Dragging himself about the place.
- 27:36Speaker 1: On two little timber.
- 27:37Speaker 2: On two little leggy stumps. And not for nothing as well, Tom,
- 27:40Speaker 2: I feel like, you know, I feel like in recent
- 27:43Speaker 2: years I've seen, you know, videos shared online of like
- 27:46Speaker 2: beggars in China and shit like this that are getting
- 27:48Speaker 2: around on similar sort of... Oh, no, do you know
- 27:50Speaker 2: what he's like?
- 27:51Speaker 1: Fucking....
- 27:54Speaker 2: Oh, one of the spaghetti westerns. Yes.
- 27:57Speaker 1: Oh, Christ, who is.
- 27:58Speaker 2: Oh, Good, Bad and the Ugly, isn't it?
- 27:59Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- 27:59Speaker 2: And your man comes over and gives the information to
- 28:02Speaker 2: Tuco or whoever it is and then he gives him
- 28:03Speaker 2: a coin and he bites it to see if it's
- 28:05Speaker 2: real gold and all that kind of thing. So it's
- 28:07Speaker 2: this kind of thing, I guess.
- 28:09Speaker 1: It was the goal.
- 28:10Speaker 2: It was the goal back then.
- 28:11Speaker 1: I guess as.
- 28:11Speaker 2: We pull out the thread, Tom, not that fucking uncommon,
- 28:14Speaker 2: seeing as we have multiple examples to hand here.
- 28:17Speaker 1: Perhaps it was, it wasn't just a blacksmith, like it
- 28:19Speaker 1: was a blacksmith that specialised in mobility buckets. He cornered
- 28:26Speaker 1: the market.
- 28:28Speaker 2: I gotta tell you, it was, yeah, I mean, like
- 28:31Speaker 2: how many people were that forward thinking at the time?
- 28:34Speaker 2: Not Billy, Tom, because I'll tell you what Billy loved
- 28:36Speaker 2: to do more than anything else was drink and gamble.
- 28:39Speaker 2: I'll tell you, nothing wrong with his drinking and gambling appendages.
- 28:44Speaker 2: The other thing Billy loved to do was be handsome.
- 28:47Speaker 2: Because by all accounts, Billy Davis was a smooth motherfucker.
- 28:52Speaker 1: Yeah, so to have him down here as being both
- 28:54Speaker 1: handsome and charming. And he basically, he would have He'd
- 28:59Speaker 1: have the chats with people... And he was a full
- 29:01Speaker 1: time beggar... And I mean in fairness... If anybody's going
- 29:03Speaker 1: to just qualify... From the outset Ger... To be a beggar...
- 29:06Speaker 1: You wouldn't go... I'm up to fucking do a day's
- 29:08Speaker 1: work with you... Like you know.
- 29:10Speaker 2: Yeah you're not going to say.
- 29:12Speaker 1: I live in a bucket... I ain't got no legs...
- 29:14Speaker 1: You're like... I'll throw.
- 29:15Speaker 2: Him a farthing.
- 29:16Speaker 1: You know what I mean... Fuck's sake.
- 29:17Speaker 2: I'll give you a drachma... For whatever we were spending
- 29:20Speaker 2: at the time... But by all accounts... Like a very
- 29:22Speaker 2: very handsome dude Tom... So he's kind of like... I'm
- 29:24Speaker 2: seeing him as being sort of like... Kind of... Daniel Day-Lewis...
- 29:29Speaker 2: In the name of the father looking kind of a gay.
- 29:31Speaker 2: Long black hair, striking looks.
- 29:33Speaker 1: I would imagine just, I was in my head.
- 29:35Speaker 2: I had Cillian Murphy kind of you know that sort.
- 29:38Speaker 1: Of I had total ridiculous in my head I had
- 29:41Speaker 1: because apparently he was super strong obviously in the upper
- 29:46Speaker 1: body so I just had Henry Cavill in a bucket.
- 29:48Speaker 2: Henry Cavill do away with the bottom half stick him
- 29:52Speaker 2: in a bucket and away you go and as Tom
- 29:53Speaker 2: says that was that was Billy's other defining characteristic was
- 29:57Speaker 2: he had fucking upper body strength to spare. He was
- 30:02Speaker 2: an absolutely not a muscle. Jacked to the gills.
- 30:05Speaker 1: I mean, you know yourself, none of us ever liked
- 30:07Speaker 1: leg day.
- 30:09Speaker 2: No, true. And like, you know, what does the man
- 30:11Speaker 2: do except doing fucking tricep dips from one end of
- 30:13Speaker 2: the day to the next?
- 30:14Speaker 1: He's just in there just cranking out PBs when it
- 30:17Speaker 1: comes to bench press and he's like, man, just strap
- 30:20Speaker 1: me to the bench and just leave me.
- 30:21Speaker 2: Here for the day. I am so surprised, Tom, that
- 30:23Speaker 2: some of the Gym Max bros haven't, the High Rocks
- 30:25Speaker 2: dudes haven't incorporated Billy in the bold exercises it's a
- 30:30Speaker 2: billy in the bowl you kneel down and you fucking
- 30:32Speaker 2: drag your ass around the place with your knuckles it's
- 30:35Speaker 2: super jack and shredded bro uh not hearing much scariness
- 30:41Speaker 2: here tom in fact if you're listening to the thing
- 30:43Speaker 2: you're probably just thinking that me and tom are just
- 30:46Speaker 2: having a go at a man that was born with
- 30:47Speaker 2: no legs not the case there's a reason billy in
- 30:51Speaker 2: the bowl is still talked about at least on the
- 30:54Speaker 2: tom and jerry show Some 250 years later, I want
- 30:59Speaker 2: to make it, give or take. The other thing Billy loved,
- 31:04Speaker 2: other than being handsome, other than scraping around town in
- 31:07Speaker 2: a bowl, and other than being super fucking jacked, the
- 31:10Speaker 2: other thing he loved was drinking alcohol and gambling, okay?
- 31:14Speaker 2: So he loved a lot of things. But the other
- 31:16Speaker 2: thing he loved.
- 31:16Speaker 1: I'm seeing no problems really with the man so far. Yeah.
- 31:19Speaker 1: Up until... The.
- 31:20Speaker 2: Other thing he loved was strangulation. Oh, fuck. Given, not taken.
- 31:24Speaker 1: Yeah, of other people.
- 31:26Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah. We caveat that in this, you know,
- 31:29Speaker 2: maybe perhaps he was like, yes, I fucking love a
- 31:32Speaker 2: strangle like. No, he just loved strangling older people. He
- 31:37Speaker 2: found on days when his begging did not cover his
- 31:41Speaker 2: gambling or his drinking, that what he needed to do
- 31:44Speaker 2: to supplement his begging was robbing.
- 31:47Speaker 1: Robbing. And he had a punch on and got on
- 31:50Speaker 1: well with the maids and servant girls of great houses
- 31:53Speaker 1: around North Dublin.
- 31:55Speaker 2: Because he was, no, it must be said, super handsome.
- 31:58Speaker 1: Yeah.
- 31:58Speaker 2: And super jacked. And that'll carry you far in this life.
- 32:00Speaker 1: I tell you one thing, a six pack in a bucket. Hello.
- 32:03Speaker 2: I'm telling you. Girls love a short king. So, he,
- 32:12Speaker 2: you know, because of his, his, his, his, having no
- 32:17Speaker 2: fucking legs of it all Tom he elicited a lot
- 32:21Speaker 2: of sympathy from people of course you wouldn't be hard
- 32:24Speaker 2: hearted about anything like this and he would elicit sympathy
- 32:27Speaker 2: and make like he couldn't drag his ass about the
- 32:29Speaker 2: place and act like he needed a hand around like
- 32:31Speaker 2: this and can you please help me love I'm terribly
- 32:33Speaker 2: sorry poor man no legs Vietnam did this to me
- 32:35Speaker 2: but I'm not bitter and when they would give him
- 32:39Speaker 2: a hand he would give them two around the neck
- 32:42Speaker 2: yeah and strangle the fuck out of them until they
- 32:44Speaker 2: were unconscious and rub their shit Rob their jewels, rob
- 32:47Speaker 2: their purses, rob their whatever. And then make what I
- 32:49Speaker 2: can only imagine it would be a very slow getaway. Yeah.
- 32:53Speaker 1: We'll see how fast it'll have to be if she's dead.
- 32:56Speaker 2: But this is the thing. This is the thing for Billy.
- 33:00Speaker 2: He pulled this trick for fucking years. And the girls
- 33:04Speaker 2: will go to the cops and say, you know, and
- 33:06Speaker 2: I don't know how the hell this didn't get him
- 33:08Speaker 2: picked up like straight away because how many fucking bold
- 33:12Speaker 2: people are dragging their asses around stony batter at the time,
- 33:17Speaker 2: robbing people.
- 33:18Speaker 1: Have you got a.
- 33:19Speaker 2: Description of him, love? Well, yeah, he's a strikingly handsome,
- 33:22Speaker 2: jet black hair, ripped to the tits, no fucking legs,
- 33:26Speaker 2: dragging his ass around in a bowl. Hmm. Doesn't sound
- 33:29Speaker 2: like anybody in stony batter to me, love.
- 33:32Speaker 1: Well, he, by all accounts, there really was only two
- 33:37Speaker 1: girls properly came forward about it, went and pursued the
- 33:40Speaker 1: whole thing. I'm guessing a lot of failed attempts, slapped
- 33:44Speaker 1: him in the eye, you know, whatever. But one of them,
- 33:46Speaker 1: he made a right go of choking her and she
- 33:49Speaker 1: stuck him in the eye with a hat pin.
- 33:51Speaker 2: Well, this is how Billy got caught. Couple of steps
- 33:54Speaker 2: to get there, okay? So Billy pulls this once too
- 33:58Speaker 2: often and he fucking murders a girl. Flat out murders
- 34:02Speaker 2: a girl, okay? Calls her over with, oh Jesus, I'm
- 34:06Speaker 2: so fucking, I'm so in need of that, I need
- 34:10Speaker 2: a help. Lassie goes over her, the goodness of her heart,
- 34:13Speaker 2: Billy springs up, throws the hands around the neck, with
- 34:16Speaker 2: a bit of a choke, drag her into a bush, uh, and, just,
- 34:20Speaker 2: whatever it was about him this night, whatever it was
- 34:23Speaker 2: about him, I mean, it was all fucking attempted murder,
- 34:25Speaker 2: but this was actual fucking murder. She died in what
- 34:27Speaker 2: was known as the Grange Gorman Lane Murderer. Um, and
- 34:32Speaker 2: that didn't stop him, he just went on after his business, and, and, and, uh,
- 34:36Speaker 2: kept on strangling with one murder rap underneath his, uh,
- 34:40Speaker 2: I was going to say, I don't need his belt on, but...
- 34:42Speaker 2: Who knows?
- 34:43Speaker 1: Why does he need a belt?
- 34:44Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
- 34:46Speaker 1: Keep his shorts on.
- 34:47Speaker 2: And this is when he came up and tried it
- 34:50Speaker 2: again with two lassies, two cooks who were coming out
- 34:53Speaker 2: from a night at the theatre. And he came over
- 34:55Speaker 2: and he was like, oh, this is terrible, terrible, terrible.
- 34:58Speaker 1: Have you got a euro? Sorry, what's a euro? Got upheld.
- 35:04Speaker 2: And I went over to give him a hand and
- 35:06Speaker 2: he was like, yep, here we go. I'm going to
- 35:07Speaker 2: do a bit of grabbing. And this lady wasn't for this.
- 35:11Speaker 2: Got a hairpin. Jab, jab, jab in the eye.
- 35:14Speaker 1: Yeah.
- 35:15Speaker 2: Well, now Billy can add blinding one eye to the
- 35:17Speaker 2: fucking list of his maladies.
- 35:19Speaker 1: He... He... Immediately from there, they picked him up. Took
- 35:25Speaker 1: him to college.
- 35:26Speaker 2: Oh, now that he had something slowing him down. Yeah.
- 35:32Speaker 1: He attacked... You see, this is the problem. You see,
- 35:33Speaker 1: he got greedy. Like, he had been going and strangling
- 35:36Speaker 1: these women. And no doubt he'd gotten... The one we
- 35:39Speaker 1: know of or whatever.
- 35:40Speaker 2: One death that we know.
- 35:41Speaker 1: But they reckon, but we'll circle back to that because
- 35:44Speaker 1: this is near Collins' barracks that the stupid fucking Egypt said,
- 35:47Speaker 1: this is, he must have had a few on board now.
- 35:49Speaker 1: He said, I'm going to try and take two women
- 35:51Speaker 1: at the same time, Ger. Like, what in the name
- 35:53Speaker 1: of fuck? Like, come on.
- 35:54Speaker 2: I could ask for any man.
- 35:56Speaker 1: I mean, you need a strong base in any form
- 35:59Speaker 1: of martial arts. Bucket ain't a good base. I don't
- 36:02Speaker 1: care how strong you're fucking, how jacked you are, upper
- 36:05Speaker 1: body is. He ain't got no base Because he ain't
- 36:08Speaker 1: got no legs But he was captured anyway And he
- 36:11Speaker 1: got sentenced there He got sentenced And rather than Dragging
- 36:15Speaker 1: him away You know On his sled Or his bucket
- 36:17Speaker 1: Or whatever it was They wheeled Much like I wish
- 36:23Speaker 1: they got Molly Malone to do this But they wheeled
- 36:25Speaker 1: him away In a wheelbarrow To Green Street Slash Newgate
- 36:30Speaker 1: Prison And he was sentenced You see they couldn't Actually
- 36:33Speaker 1: do him right Because they could only have him For
- 36:34Speaker 1: aggravated assault And robbery on that one because they didn't
- 36:38Speaker 1: have any means to actually read.
- 36:40Speaker 2: There was no forensics at the time.
- 36:41Speaker 1: There was no forensics at the time. I mean, there
- 36:43Speaker 1: was going to be no footprints near the scenario.
- 36:45Speaker 2: Well, I mean, this is it too.
- 36:47Speaker 1: Yeah. But they gave him a lifelong sentence of hard
- 36:51Speaker 1: labour for robbery and violence as direct evidence of the
- 36:54Speaker 1: murders was lacking. Now, here's the thing. Upon immediate arrest
- 37:00Speaker 1: and detention, the fucking strangulations, you know.
- 37:04Speaker 2: What a surprise.
- 37:05Speaker 1: Just dropped right off.
- 37:06Speaker 2: Amazing how that happens.
- 37:08Speaker 1: It's almost like, you know, there's almost no wolf attacks
- 37:11Speaker 1: here anymore, you know, since we got rid of them. But, yeah,
- 37:14Speaker 1: I mean, so.
- 37:16Speaker 2: It's incredible when they jailed a certain man in the mid-90s,
- 37:18Speaker 2: women stopped showing up dead in the Midlands.
- 37:21Speaker 1: Now, I want to... I dug into it and I
- 37:23Speaker 1: can't really see what hard labour they put him at.
- 37:27Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean.
- 37:28Speaker 1: I can only imagine washing the underside of horses would
- 37:31Speaker 1: be Probably a great gig for him. I mean, what
- 37:35Speaker 1: are you going to get him to do? Clean the
- 37:37Speaker 1: chungum off the underneath of fucking desks?
- 37:39Speaker 2: It's hard to say. I mean, what was hard labour
- 37:41Speaker 2: in this country? We should probably research that. But anytime
- 37:44Speaker 2: I hear hard labour, I'm always like, that's what Rambo
- 37:47Speaker 2: was doing at the start of Rambo 2. Just breaking
- 37:50Speaker 2: rocks with a hammer.
- 37:51Speaker 1: Yeah.
- 37:52Speaker 2: In a quarry.
- 37:53Speaker 1: But they'd have to bring the rocks to him, like.
- 37:56Speaker 2: So it wouldn't be worth your while. You wouldn't get
- 37:57Speaker 2: the use out of them.
- 37:59Speaker 1: No.
- 38:00Speaker 2: I'm agreeing with you here, yeah. But I'm wondering what
- 38:02Speaker 2: labour would be hard. Because the labour you're describing, Tom,
- 38:05Speaker 2: is more menial than hard.
- 38:07Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah, I suppose hard labour. Well, I guess if
- 38:11Speaker 1: you're working him 12 hours a day, it becomes hard labour,
- 38:13Speaker 1: doesn't it?
- 38:14Speaker 2: Well, this is it too.
- 38:17Speaker 1: But yeah, that's all I'm getting here is that pretty
- 38:20Speaker 1: much I'm reading through three or more different spots and
- 38:23Speaker 1: they just say hard labour. What would have hard labour
- 38:26Speaker 1: been in an Irish prison back then? Google that there, Ger.
- 38:29Speaker 1: Come on, you're fast with the fingers.
- 38:31Speaker 2: Do you know what? I'm going to let the fine
- 38:33Speaker 2: folks of the Tom and Gerry show, the learned people
- 38:35Speaker 2: of the Tom and Gerry show, who we assumed for
- 38:38Speaker 2: the purpose of this bit may not have heard of
- 38:40Speaker 2: Billy and the Bull before. Many of them may have.
- 38:42Speaker 2: Many of them may be shouting corrections at the phone
- 38:46Speaker 2: at us. But if you do happen to know what
- 38:47Speaker 2: hard labour constituted in 1780 in Ireland, we'd love to
- 38:51Speaker 2: hear from you in the comments. But there you go, folks.
- 38:53Speaker 1: A little Halloween treat. One thing Dublin is amazing for
- 38:59Speaker 1: is making myths and folklore about shite. Like, you know
- 39:02Speaker 1: what I mean? Trying to convince people that coddle is
- 39:03Speaker 1: actually something humans should fucking eat and whatnot.
- 39:06Speaker 2: So where they're missing the billy in the bowl money
- 39:09Speaker 2: is confounding to me.
- 39:10Speaker 1: Yeah. Like, now they've done a few bits and pieces. Like,
- 39:14Speaker 1: there was a play about him and stuff and there's
- 39:16Speaker 1: a bit of graffiti now as well, you know, where
- 39:17Speaker 1: they Like there was reference in the works, like James
- 39:21Speaker 1: Joyce's Finnegan's Wake. He was in that. They referenced him
- 39:23Speaker 1: in that. The Pogue song, The Sick Bed of Cú Chulainn, which.
- 39:26Speaker 2: I I don't. I'm not familiar with him.
- 39:30Speaker 1: No, nor I. But apparently it's somewhere related to him.
- 39:33Speaker 1: But if anybody wants, I would like to know more
- 39:36Speaker 1: so about the hard labour that people think that Billy,
- 39:39Speaker 1: at the very least, should have been fucking put to.
- 39:41Speaker 1: I reckon washing the dirty bollocks on horses should have been,
- 39:44Speaker 1: would have been an ideal one for him.
- 39:46Speaker 2: That'd be good.
- 39:47Speaker 1: Yeah, no, I'd just take his bucket away too, just
- 39:49Speaker 1: roll him around the place.
- 39:50Speaker 2: Just be like, yeah, go on, shuffle in underneath that
- 39:53Speaker 2: horse and clean him up. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Do I
- 39:56Speaker 2: get a brush? We know you got the upper arm
- 39:58Speaker 2: grip strength for the job.
- 39:59Speaker 1: Where's the brush?
- 40:00Speaker 2: Ain't no brush, buddy. Ain't no brush, buddy.
- 40:02Speaker 1: Get in there with your hands, come on.
- 40:04Speaker 2: Yeah, you got that long black hair. Billy and the Bull.
- 40:08Speaker 2: A bollocks, it must be said. And welcome to.
- 40:11Speaker 1: Billy the Bollocks, that's a better name.
- 40:13Speaker 2: Billy the Bollocks. But a fascinating part of Irish history
- 40:18Speaker 2: brought to you by the good folks of the Tom
- 40:20Speaker 2: and Gerry Show. Now, me and Tom, our memories stretch back.
- 40:23Speaker 2: They just may not stretch all the way back to 1780.
- 40:26Speaker 2: We ain't that fucking old. We ain't that young either, Tom.
- 40:29Speaker 2: We talk about it on the final segment of the
- 40:31Speaker 2: show called We Remember When.
- 40:33Speaker 1: When I was a young lad, 20 or 30 or
- 40:35Speaker 1: 40 years ago, Have you been, are you getting, like
- 40:40Speaker 1: normally actually the podcast, this podcast around this time now
- 40:42Speaker 1: you've had to nearly fucking put sound dampeners on the
- 40:46Speaker 1: windows for you.
- 40:46Speaker 2: I've turned on the, I've to turn off the spatial audio. Really?
- 40:52Speaker 2: Is it banging?
- 40:53Speaker 1: Yes.
- 40:54Speaker 2: Here's the thing, folks. It is indeed Halloween coming up.
- 40:58Speaker 2: And with it come fireworks. Now, fireworks, we've got to
- 41:03Speaker 2: tell you, are not a new thing, Tom. I believe
- 41:08Speaker 2: the Chinese had some of them all the way back,
- 41:10Speaker 2: all the way back then. But I got to tell
- 41:12Speaker 2: you what the lads are setting off outside here in
- 41:15Speaker 2: Blanchardstown today ain't what we put up in the air
- 41:18Speaker 2: in the 1980s.
- 41:19Speaker 1: Are we talking like Gandalf at the fucking Bilbo's exit
- 41:23Speaker 1: leaving party?
- 41:24Speaker 2: No, I'm talking about Tony Stark selling Jericho missiles at
- 41:28Speaker 2: the start of Iron Man.
- 41:30Speaker 1: It's like that expo that your man put on the
- 41:32Speaker 1: night manager. Do you remember he put on that fucking
- 41:34Speaker 1: expo for those fucking drug lords or the warlords?
- 41:37Speaker 2: Tom, it's like a fucking wedding out here every single night.
- 41:43Speaker 2: I remember fireworks. I was a fireworks kid. I fucking
- 41:46Speaker 2: loved fireworks, Tom. But even at that, I had a budget.
- 41:53Speaker 1: It was nigh on impossible to get them down this far.
- 41:57Speaker 2: This is what I'm, this is what I'm curious about
- 41:58Speaker 2: here now because like, you know, long-term listeners of the
- 42:01Speaker 2: show will know that I am a border fox and
- 42:02Speaker 2: you most certainly are not. So I'm curious as to
- 42:05Speaker 2: how I could fucking throw a stone and hit someone
- 42:08Speaker 2: that would sell me fireworks. How are fireworks getting down
- 42:10Speaker 2: to you in the 80s, Tom?
- 42:11Speaker 1: No, they were, truckers were bringing them down all right
- 42:13Speaker 1: because to beef in this, beef, yes, yes, yes. If
- 42:17Speaker 1: a major employer in a town not far from you
- 42:22Speaker 1: is also a major employer in a town not far
- 42:24Speaker 1: from me, um, beef industry so that is how they
- 42:29Speaker 1: typically made it down here.
- 42:31Speaker 2: I gotta tell you could we just take a pause
- 42:33Speaker 2: I know we've already done this lad but could we
- 42:34Speaker 2: just take a pause for the trucking industry of Ireland
- 42:37Speaker 2: like you know bringing you logistics and crime yeah yeah
- 42:42Speaker 2: yeah that's amazing to me that a trucker that would
- 42:44Speaker 2: be going up north would say well I will stock
- 42:47Speaker 2: up the wagon with all manners of bangers and rockets
- 42:50Speaker 2: and air bombs and the devil knows what and bring
- 42:53Speaker 2: them back down to the fine children of Tipperary And
- 42:56Speaker 2: then sell them.
- 42:57Speaker 1: When do these guys sleep? You see, here's the thing.
- 43:00Speaker 1: You didn't have to sleep back then because you had
- 43:02Speaker 1: major fucking trucking drugs that were just top end. You know,
- 43:06Speaker 1: that kind of way you get them wherever you needed
- 43:08Speaker 1: to get them. But you would. Like, I mean, why
- 43:10Speaker 1: wouldn't you be? Like, if you're getting paid by a
- 43:12Speaker 1: trucking crowd, let's say back in the day, back in
- 43:15Speaker 1: the fucking mid to late 80s, let's say even on
- 43:19Speaker 1: a good wage, you're making 300, 400 pound a week, right?
- 43:22Speaker 1: You're trucking all week. What's the harm in making another...
- 43:25Speaker 1: 80 or 90 pounds... That week?
- 43:27Speaker 2: Absolutely no harm in the wide early world Tom... Except maybe...
- 43:29Speaker 2: Maybe as we get into this... We'll find out... Blowing
- 43:32Speaker 2: the fingers off... Stupid kids would be... It would be
- 43:36Speaker 2: a grey area there.
- 43:37Speaker 1: Yeah I mean the other side of it.
- 43:39Speaker 2: I mean is.
- 43:39Speaker 1: Is... You know....
- 43:42Speaker 2: I get it.
- 43:42Speaker 1: I get it... And the giddiness around it... But if
- 43:44Speaker 1: you really wanted to go about... Making a bomb of
- 43:46Speaker 1: any sort... You wanted... No doubt every person... Listened to this...
- 43:50Speaker 1: Their old lad had... A five gallon drum full of petrol.
- 43:53Speaker 2: Out in the garage.
- 43:54Speaker 1: If you really wanted to go to town, you could
- 43:56Speaker 1: go to fucking town.
- 43:57Speaker 2: You could get a job there. So needless to say,
- 43:59Speaker 2: there were fireworks getting their way down to you, Tom.
- 44:02Speaker 2: We were going across the border to buy them. And
- 44:05Speaker 2: we would buy them out. Hey, statute of limitations is over.
- 44:10Speaker 2: This is 40 years ago, Tom. We would buy them
- 44:12Speaker 2: out of the boot of some dude's car.
- 44:15Speaker 1: What I noticed was, any time going up there, and
- 44:17Speaker 1: I know I've talked about this in the past, but
- 44:18Speaker 1: there'd be signs up.
- 44:20Speaker 2: There are now.
- 44:21Speaker 1: There are now.
- 44:22Speaker 2: Right, right, right. Now it's a legitimate industry. And it
- 44:26Speaker 2: always was the case that you could buy them in
- 44:28Speaker 2: the fireworks shop. But in the 80s and 90s, there
- 44:30Speaker 2: wasn't a fireworks shop. Maybe down in Belfast, there was
- 44:33Speaker 2: like a depot or some shit like that. But the
- 44:35Speaker 2: rest of it, you would either buy it out of
- 44:36Speaker 2: the boot of some lad's car, or you would go
- 44:39Speaker 2: down to, long-term listeners of the show will be familiar with,
- 44:41Speaker 2: Jonesborough Market. Right, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You could get
- 44:45Speaker 2: your PlayStation chipped, buy a big load of Rockets... by,
- 44:49Speaker 2: now that's what I call music, 26 on a copied
- 44:53Speaker 2: cassette tape.
- 44:55Speaker 1: And a pair of Mike Air Max.
- 44:57Speaker 2: And a pair of, in the words of Captain America,
- 45:01Speaker 2: every one you buy is a bullet in the barrel
- 45:03Speaker 2: of your best guy's gun. So yeah, and you can
- 45:08Speaker 2: fill your boots, literally fill your boots with one of
- 45:12Speaker 2: three following things, Tom.
- 45:14Speaker 1: Yeah.
- 45:15Speaker 2: Number one, bangers. Bangers banged. It was a little stick
- 45:23Speaker 2: and you lit it like a fuse like dynamite or
- 45:25Speaker 2: some of them you struck like a match. I fucking
- 45:27Speaker 2: hated those. I always felt they were going to blow
- 45:30Speaker 2: up my hand. And you threw it whatever it did
- 45:32Speaker 2: and it banged. It was a firecracker.
- 45:35Speaker 1: It banged.
- 45:35Speaker 2: You could buy bangers. Number two you could buy rockets.
- 45:40Speaker 2: Now normally you'd buy what we called up airway squealers.
- 45:43Speaker 2: They're the real cheap shitty ones that just go pop.
- 45:46Speaker 1: Yeah.
- 45:47Speaker 2: That's it. One and done. There were bigger rockets, Tom,
- 45:50Speaker 2: more than that in a second. And the other thing
- 45:52Speaker 2: you could get was what we called repeaters. Other people
- 45:54Speaker 2: called them air bombs, whatnot. And that was a thing
- 45:57Speaker 2: that went... Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Or a five things
- 46:01Speaker 2: that pop, fit, fit, fit, fit, fit, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop.
- 46:03Speaker 2: That was it, and you were done. Now, they were
- 46:04Speaker 2: your entry-level fireworks. They were what a kid could afford.
- 46:09Speaker 2: And after that, you're into grown-up money. You could get
- 46:15Speaker 2: bigger rockets... Well, you could get 10 squealers for a
- 46:19Speaker 2: pound or you could get five bigger rockets for a tenner. Now,
- 46:24Speaker 2: cost just wasn't there. You know, I just couldn't justify
- 46:30Speaker 2: five rockets for 10 times the price of 10 rockets.
- 46:34Speaker 2: Didn't compute.
- 46:35Speaker 1: Well, we didn't... You see, of course, the value system
- 46:39Speaker 1: would go up the further beyond the Mason-Dixon line that
- 46:41Speaker 1: you were talking about.
- 46:42Speaker 2: Well, this is it too, yeah.
- 46:43Speaker 1: Because by the time they came down to me, I
- 46:44Speaker 1: can tell you one thing, kids could barely afford. Because
- 46:47Speaker 1: so where typically I would come across them because, yeah, okay,
- 46:50Speaker 1: I get a box of Black Cats.
- 46:52Speaker 2: Yes. I could get my hands on that. And that
- 46:55Speaker 2: was the brand of choice, the Black Cat Banger. Yeah. But.
- 46:59Speaker 1: in all reality, getting me hands on rockets was a no-go.
- 47:02Speaker 1: Because I just, I mean, you're a child. It's not
- 47:05Speaker 1: like I fucking hang out with new truckers. Like, you
- 47:07Speaker 1: know what I mean? The owl fled, did alright, but
- 47:09Speaker 1: he was like, fuck off. You're not, you're enough to be,
- 47:11Speaker 1: you're enough to be fucking important.
- 47:12Speaker 2: You're not giving your communion money to a trucker.
- 47:14Speaker 1: But, what you would find is when there'd be a
- 47:17Speaker 1: good big bonfire organised somewhere and there'd be adults involved,
- 47:21Speaker 1: there would be invariably one adult who either, you know,
- 47:25Speaker 1: was a trucker himself, was a, friends with truckers or
- 47:29Speaker 1: had like a business on the road selling tiles or
- 47:32Speaker 1: something and he'd be up and down the road and
- 47:34Speaker 1: he would set up it would be a big do
- 47:36Speaker 1: you know what it made a real it made him
- 47:39Speaker 1: very valuable in that you go well this is the
- 47:41Speaker 1: coolest shit ever and yeah you'd make a big ceremony
- 47:44Speaker 1: of the thing and the next thing these rockets would
- 47:46Speaker 1: be set off and it wasn't overly frowned upon because
- 47:50Speaker 1: there was adults involved and it was around a kind
- 47:52Speaker 1: of an organised bonfire and I do remember there was
- 47:56Speaker 1: this like What about the rockets and everything? I got...
- 47:59Speaker 1: I won't say I was deeply unimpressed, but I was
- 48:00Speaker 1: kind of like, okay, seen that one, seen that one.
- 48:03Speaker 1: But they had this stuff. It was like.
- 48:08Speaker 1: Did they call it a Roman candle? And it was like...
- 48:12Speaker 1: It was... But it kept on like... It kept billowing
- 48:15Speaker 1: out like... It was like lava pouring out the top
- 48:17Speaker 1: of this thing. I don't know what it was.
- 48:18Speaker 2: Like sparks and shit?
- 48:20Speaker 1: No, it was like... It looked like fucking lava pouring
- 48:23Speaker 1: out the top of this tube. You know what I mean?
- 48:25Speaker 1: It was... in the firework family yeah.
- 48:28Speaker 2: There was things like snakes that you would light them
- 48:30Speaker 2: and it would it would like grow this like black
- 48:33Speaker 2: yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah for whatever reason I
- 48:36Speaker 2: thought they were I thought well they're fucking impressive you
- 48:39Speaker 2: know what I mean they're fascinating it's just a little
- 48:41Speaker 2: tower of ash that comes out of it.
- 48:43Speaker 1: But the the watchman called the as far as the
- 48:46Speaker 1: rockets went I do remember being allowed to light off
- 48:49Speaker 1: a couple of rockets and We got rockets here that,
- 48:52Speaker 1: you know, the parents play, smaller ones. And we bought
- 48:54Speaker 1: the rockets. You know, you'd sit them in the bottle
- 48:56Speaker 1: and they'd go shooting off. But I remember at this
- 48:58Speaker 1: one particular bonfire, this lad, everything was going great. And
- 49:01Speaker 1: it was like that scene from, from fucking Lord of
- 49:04Speaker 1: the Rings where like Perry and the other lad, or
- 49:08Speaker 1: Mary and the other fella, Pippin, they find the good
- 49:11Speaker 1: ones inside. And this lad walked over with his, if
- 49:15Speaker 1: the stick on the bottle rocket was the size of,
- 49:17Speaker 1: you know, one of those incense.
- 49:19Speaker 2: Fucking, Sticks.
- 49:21Speaker 1: This fella walked over with a... A rocket... And a stick...
- 49:24Speaker 1: To give you an idea of the rocket... It was
- 49:26Speaker 1: like a Pringle tube size fucking... Yeah... Barrel on it...
- 49:29Speaker 1: And the stick that you would... You would support it
- 49:30Speaker 1: in the ground... Was a fucking brush handle... Yes... This was...
- 49:34Speaker 1: A fucking scud... Like.
- 49:36Speaker 2: Where did you get that?
- 49:38Speaker 1: And... For a minute I remember thinking... that's not even real.
- 49:41Speaker 1: That looks fake. It's so fucking silly looking. And we
- 49:45Speaker 1: all backed up. We all kind of went like, all right, yeah, okay.
- 49:48Speaker 1: And I remember going to the, it was beside this
- 49:51Speaker 1: old country road, but it was kind of a label,
- 49:52Speaker 1: you know, it was kind of a patch of grass
- 49:54Speaker 1: that horse, the odd horse would be allowed to graze on, whatever,
- 49:57Speaker 1: a small quarter acre. But I remember going to the
- 49:59Speaker 1: other side of the road because I went, this shit's
- 50:02Speaker 1: about to go down.
- 50:03Speaker 2: Yeah.
- 50:04Speaker 1: Fuck me.
- 50:04Speaker 2: Someone's dying tonight.
- 50:06Speaker 1: It must have went fucking 80 meters in the air.
- 50:08Speaker 1: I just went, I just blew, I blew all our
- 50:11Speaker 1: fucking minds all at the same time. We're like, well, that's,
- 50:13Speaker 1: that's it now. That's it.
- 50:15Speaker 2: That's a defining childhood moment there. I've seen, as a
- 50:18Speaker 2: young fella, I've seen a couple of those and somebody's
- 50:21Speaker 2: cousin would bring, somebody's cousin who had a job or
- 50:23Speaker 2: someone's fucking rich neighbor or some shit would bring along
- 50:26Speaker 2: a rocket that looked like a Coke can on the
- 50:28Speaker 2: end of a stick.
- 50:29Speaker 1: Yeah.
- 50:30Speaker 2: Very few and far between. They were beyond the, they
- 50:35Speaker 2: were priced out of the market. And as much as
- 50:38Speaker 2: young lads loved squibs and bangers and things like this,
- 50:41Speaker 2: their dads weren't about to fucking drop a week's wages
- 50:43Speaker 2: on an 80-shot repeater. Just wasn't going to happen.
- 50:47Speaker 1: Yeah, this was a show-off. This moment, this was a
- 50:50Speaker 1: show-off one. And there was only one.
- 50:52Speaker 2: There was only one of them.
- 50:54Speaker 1: This kind of signified the end of the bonfire. It
- 50:56Speaker 1: was like, right.
- 50:57Speaker 2: Now, flash forward to today, Tom. And it just seems
- 51:02Speaker 2: to be, you know, either fireworks got cheaper or disposable
- 51:06Speaker 2: income got more Readily available in the... Maybe the Scut
- 51:11Speaker 2: economy is doing better than I thought it was, Tom.
- 51:13Speaker 2: Because we Scuts seem to have the price of any
- 51:17Speaker 2: manner of shit up here. Because it does be like
- 51:19Speaker 2: fucking Beirut out here at times.
- 51:24Speaker 1: We can only speculate where the money is coming from, Ger.
- 51:26Speaker 1: But if you're wearing a Canada Goose jacket and you
- 51:28Speaker 1: have a fucking scooter.
- 51:30Speaker 2: And a seemingly unlimited fireworks budget.
- 51:33Speaker 1: Yeah, you would have to assume that they're enterprising in
- 51:36Speaker 1: so much way.
- 51:38Speaker 2: And it must be said, Tom, that's not just outside
- 51:41Speaker 2: here in the greater D15 area. That just seems to
- 51:44Speaker 2: be nationwide, is that people don't mind spending a little
- 51:47Speaker 2: bit extra.
- 51:48Speaker 1: And, well, Gerda is.
- 51:52Speaker 2: On mortars.
- 51:53Speaker 1: We seem to be, and this is just to give
- 51:55Speaker 1: you a quick marhampla now for a second. We seem
- 51:59Speaker 1: to be, like we're being told we're in a, you know,
- 52:03Speaker 1: cost of living crisis and whatnot. Last year in Galway,
- 52:06Speaker 1: I was in I was headlining this comedy club, this
- 52:11Speaker 1: show that was on, and I got there on time
- 52:15Speaker 1: slash early, and I went in to use the jacks
- 52:17Speaker 1: because I drove straight there. And let's just say I
- 52:21Speaker 1: look like a, you know, could easily look like a cop.
- 52:24Speaker 1: I'm definitely an adult when I walk into the room.
- 52:27Speaker 1: I walk into the jacks, and there's two lads, it's
- 52:29Speaker 1: rag week, and there's two lads hoovering two fat slugs
- 52:33Speaker 1: of coke off the windowsill. And rather than going, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck,
- 52:37Speaker 1: They just turned to me and went, hi, man, do
- 52:39Speaker 1: you want to? I'm like, I'm good, boys.
- 52:42Speaker 2: I'm good. You're grand lads.
- 52:43Speaker 1: And on that I went, are you two students? And
- 52:45Speaker 1: they went, yeah, man, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, coconut noodles
- 52:49Speaker 1: and white cider is all I could just imagine.
- 52:51Speaker 2: Yeah, like, where are you guys getting money for fucking
- 52:53Speaker 2: whatever the hell this is? It's, it's, it's, it's, it's, um.
- 52:57Speaker 1: The reddies are far more fucking available now.
- 53:01Speaker 2: We might be showing our age, Tom, just assuming that
- 53:03Speaker 2: it could be some shit that we've never heard of before.
- 53:05Speaker 2: Oh yeah, I mean, yeah, it could have been fucking
- 53:07Speaker 2: ketamine or something. It could have been fucking cyanide-laced fucking
- 53:09Speaker 2: Tylenol for all I know. Well, this is it too,
- 53:11Speaker 2: the good stuff. Listen, here's the thing, Tom. Flash forward
- 53:14Speaker 2: to today. Here's a couple of things I want to say.
- 53:18Speaker 2: Number one, I've never seen so many fireworks in my
- 53:21Speaker 2: fucking life and I'm still a child at heart. I
- 53:24Speaker 2: would love to be out here letting off these big
- 53:27Speaker 2: Saracen rockets up into the air and watching them go boom. Ah,
- 53:31Speaker 2: it just brings me right back. Only the dog won't
- 53:33Speaker 2: come with me anymore because he's afraid of them, you know,
- 53:35Speaker 2: and he's all whinging in the house. But if I
- 53:37Speaker 2: had my brother, I'd be out here just letting off
- 53:39Speaker 2: rockets all fucking evening. I love that shit. I've always
- 53:42Speaker 2: loved that shit. I'm unapologetic about it.
- 53:45Speaker 1: I absolutely 100% agree. Like, at any opportunity to even
- 53:50Speaker 1: light a fire of some sort, I'm down. I'm like, yeah,
- 53:54Speaker 1: I'd burn some stuff. Do you know what I mean?
- 53:56Speaker 1: Anything at all to create any sort of fucking flammable havoc.
- 54:00Speaker 1: I get it. I absolutely fucking get it. I don't
- 54:03Speaker 1: know what it is inside, built inside everybody. Everything is
- 54:06Speaker 1: going to make a bang on top of that. Hello.
- 54:08Speaker 2: Forget about it. I got to tell you one story, Tom.
- 54:12Speaker 2: I'll tell you one story. This is not a surprise
- 54:14Speaker 2: to anybody. But when I became a waged person, when
- 54:18Speaker 2: I was like 15 or 16 and I was getting,
- 54:20Speaker 2: I had like a summer job and got a bit
- 54:22Speaker 2: of money and had a bit of money in my pocket.
- 54:25Speaker 2: And before I went to spend it all on drink,
- 54:29Speaker 2: And car insurance. When I had a little bit of money.
- 54:32Speaker 2: I dropped a whole fucking big load of cash. On
- 54:34Speaker 2: a bunch of fucking rockets. Down in Jones Square Market.
- 54:37Speaker 2: And I'm going to tell you what I did Tom. Unapologetically.
- 54:40Speaker 2: I took them home. And I cut them open. And
- 54:42Speaker 2: I got all the black powder out of it. And
- 54:43Speaker 2: I mixed it all up into one. And I put
- 54:45Speaker 2: it all in a jam jar. And I buried that
- 54:47Speaker 2: jam jar. With a long fuse going to it. And
- 54:50Speaker 2: I lit that son of a bitch. And I ran
- 54:51Speaker 2: faster than I've ever ran in my life. And it
- 54:54Speaker 2: put dirt and clay. 500 yards and stuff.
- 54:59Speaker 1: See, look at fucking Yosemite Sam over there. Look at
- 55:01Speaker 1: that shit.
- 55:05Speaker 2: I was wise enough to bury it because I didn't
- 55:07Speaker 2: want glass flying everywhere. I did not know that I
- 55:09Speaker 2: had created something that was so powerful that it would
- 55:12Speaker 2: send fucking dirt and muck and stones into my mouth
- 55:16Speaker 2: 60 yards up a hill.
- 55:18Speaker 1: So let me just get this straight, a man called Jerry.
- 55:20Speaker 2: And I'd do that shit again.
- 55:22Speaker 1: A man child called Jerry living on the border. Takes
- 55:26Speaker 1: a bunch of illegal fucking fireworks.
- 55:31Speaker 2: They're legal up the north.
- 55:32Speaker 1: Splits them. Yeah, not where you had them. Splits them.
- 55:36Speaker 2: My only crime is smuggling across the border.
- 55:38Speaker 1: You built an incendiary device.
- 55:41Speaker 2: Yes.
- 55:42Speaker 1: You rigged it yourself.
- 55:43Speaker 2: Correct.
- 55:44Speaker 1: You placed it yourself. And then you lit it yourself.
- 55:48Speaker 2: Correct.
- 55:49Speaker 1: And you blew a hole in God's earth the size
- 55:52Speaker 1: of a fucking polo. And your name is Jerry McBride.
- 55:58Speaker 2: Yeah.
- 55:58Speaker 1: Do you have any other fucking cliches you'd like to
- 56:00Speaker 1: tell me about? Were you wearing a fucking.
- 56:05Speaker 2: I'll tell you.
- 56:05Speaker 1: Was Mary Lou McDonald with you? Did you blow a...
- 56:08Speaker 1: Did you have a belly clav on? Like, what the fuck, Jerry?
- 56:12Speaker 2: Actually, you know what would have been a handy thing
- 56:14Speaker 2: to wear if I'd known there was that much stones
- 56:16Speaker 2: flying around? I'll tell you one thing I used to do.
- 56:19Speaker 2: We used to have like a big... Like an oil tank.
- 56:23Speaker 2: An empty oil tank out the back of the house.
- 56:25Speaker 2: Like an old bowser. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Big, big, big
- 56:28Speaker 2: square thing all rigged together. But I would like black
- 56:30Speaker 2: cat bangers and throw it into that. And a fucking
- 56:34Speaker 2: suck of the muddy.
- 56:36Speaker 1: So this now was a tank that used to have what?
- 56:38Speaker 1: Kerosene or diesel in it?
- 56:40Speaker 2: No, this was long empty. This was long empty. This
- 56:42Speaker 2: is like, you know. Completely empty Well yeah I suppose
- 56:46Speaker 2: You could still smell it When you put your nose
- 56:47Speaker 2: to it Yeah Ger.
- 56:48Speaker 1: That's called Yeah yeah yeah That's still an Extremely explosive
- 56:52Speaker 1: situation No.
- 56:53Speaker 2: You just You throw the thing into it And you
- 56:55Speaker 2: close the lid And you run like.
- 56:56Speaker 1: Hell And it goes Yeah I used to Beautiful A
- 56:59Speaker 1: couple of the black cats I remember taping them all
- 57:01Speaker 1: together Taping maybe A string of them together Like a
- 57:04Speaker 1: dozen And then put them under a can Just to
- 57:07Speaker 1: see What it could blow off The fucking ground You
- 57:09Speaker 1: go Hmm Blow a can 50 yards in the air
- 57:11Speaker 1: Let's see Go in and get the mother's pot.
- 57:15Speaker 2: I've said it before on the show, I believe. I
- 57:17Speaker 2: tried that one time. I taped like four black cats
- 57:19Speaker 2: together and twisted the fuses together and lit them together.
- 57:22Speaker 2: But if one of those goes a split second before
- 57:26Speaker 2: the other three.
- 57:27Speaker 1: Yeah.
- 57:27Speaker 2: What you've created now is a cluster bomb.
- 57:29Speaker 1: Yeah.
- 57:30Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because it blows and sends the other
- 57:32Speaker 2: three in all directions and then they go pop, pop, pop,
- 57:34Speaker 2: pop all the way around you. I was a fucking idiot, Tom.
- 57:37Speaker 2: Here's the thing I want to tell you now. This
- 57:38Speaker 2: is the we remember one of it all.
- 57:41Speaker 1: Uh.
- 57:43Speaker 2: You can't get blackout bangers anymore.
- 57:46Speaker 1: I suppose for what reason other than that they're not
- 57:49Speaker 1: fucking scary enough.
- 57:51Speaker 2: You cannot get any form of what we would have
- 57:54Speaker 2: called a banger anymore. You can't get a firecracker. You
- 57:59Speaker 2: can't get a quarter stick of dynamite. You can't get nothing, Tom.
- 58:02Speaker 2: If you light it and it bangs, you can't buy it.
- 58:05Speaker 2: You can buy rockets. You can buy repeaters. You can
- 58:07Speaker 2: buy all that sort of stuff. And I'm not saying
- 58:08Speaker 2: that you can't get it down the side. You can't
- 58:10Speaker 2: get it up north. You can't get it. in the
- 58:12Speaker 2: fucking Schengen area. That shit is outlawed to fuck.
- 58:17Speaker 1: I suppose, given the short fuse and the fact that
- 58:21Speaker 1: they don't travel away from you, do you know what
- 58:24Speaker 1: I mean? At least a rocket fucks off. Do you
- 58:26Speaker 1: get me? Like, by the law of averages, you say, well, okay,
- 58:30Speaker 1: the back pressure on it might blow a finger off,
- 58:32Speaker 1: but a fucking black cat.
- 58:34Speaker 2: Is a bomb, to be fair.
- 58:36Speaker 1: It's a bomb that, if you don't get it out
- 58:39Speaker 1: of your hand fast enough, the hen's coming off. Like,
- 58:41Speaker 1: you're going to be fucking Billy in the bowl. Only
- 58:44Speaker 1: you're missing your hens.
- 58:45Speaker 2: Only you're missing your hens. And like, I learned that
- 58:47Speaker 2: not last year, but the year before it, when I
- 58:49Speaker 2: went up to buy some of the black cat bangers
- 58:52Speaker 2: and I was told by the person selling them, no.
- 58:54Speaker 2: And I was like, oh, if I go up the road,
- 58:55Speaker 2: they're like, no, listen, dipshit. They're fucking outlawed. You can't
- 58:58Speaker 2: buy them anymore. And I was like, how come it
- 59:00Speaker 2: was all like a bunch of people doing a bunch
- 59:02Speaker 2: of stupid shit? And I had to kind of stay
- 59:04Speaker 2: stung because yeah yeah what i had in mind for
- 59:07Speaker 2: them was i promised the wee man that uh we
- 59:10Speaker 2: would light black cat banger underneath lego houses and film
- 59:14Speaker 2: it in slow motion yeah there you go which is
- 59:17Speaker 2: exactly what i was going to do.
- 59:19Speaker 1: It film it with your galaxy note 7 yeah.
- 59:22Speaker 2: Galaxy note 7 just to keep the good times rolling.
- 59:25Speaker 1: Yeah, I can see the benefit of it or the
- 59:30Speaker 1: reasoning behind it all the same. But you hear it
- 59:32Speaker 1: with every... I never came across anybody and they weren't
- 59:35Speaker 1: down here frequent enough for lads to lose their body parts.
- 59:38Speaker 1: We had PTO shafts. You know what I mean? I
- 59:40Speaker 1: do know a fella, all right, and it was only
- 59:42Speaker 1: when you talked about that Diesel Bowser, I do know
- 59:43Speaker 1: a guy that was cutting a tree in a ditch
- 59:49Speaker 1: and his saw hit what would have been a 20
- 59:51Speaker 1: to 30-year-old metal canister of petroleum.
- 59:58Speaker 2: Sparked of course of course.
- 1:00:01Speaker 1: This thing had been sitting in there swelling throughout the
- 1:00:03Speaker 1: summer heat over a 25 year period he sparked him
- 1:00:07Speaker 1: it lifted him so fucking far and so fast that
- 1:00:10Speaker 1: it blew in almost I think a dozen teeth blew
- 1:00:13Speaker 1: him straight in his mouth it blew him 30 feet
- 1:00:16Speaker 1: backwards he was in hospital for about a good fucking
- 1:00:20Speaker 1: 6 months that'll do it alright yep Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- 1:00:23Speaker 2: There was the young lad on our school bus who, yeah,
- 1:00:27Speaker 2: his fuse went a wee bit quicker on the banger
- 1:00:30Speaker 2: than anybody was expecting and, like, he didn't lose a
- 1:00:32Speaker 2: hand or a finger or anything like that, but, like.
- 1:00:35Speaker 1: Fucked him up.
- 1:00:36Speaker 2: They needed working on it for a little while, yeah.
- 1:00:38Speaker 2: They needed working on it for a little while and
- 1:00:39Speaker 2: that's fucking... I remember that, like, yes, that frightened the
- 1:00:44Speaker 2: shit out of me. That's why I keep all the
- 1:00:46Speaker 2: fuses on my bangers long, Tom.
- 1:00:50Speaker 1: Just one thing to take away from this. Keep your
- 1:00:52Speaker 1: fingers as long.
- 1:00:52Speaker 2: Yeah, exactly. Yeah. Folks, we want to hear your stories
- 1:00:56Speaker 2: of Vavux. Were you afraid of them? Some kids were.
- 1:01:00Speaker 2: Some kids were like, no, I don't want to. I'll
- 1:01:03Speaker 2: stick with the sparklers. And that's fine. That's cool. These
- 1:01:06Speaker 2: are scary things. Maybe you were the other side of
- 1:01:08Speaker 2: the scale there, folks, and you were just like an
- 1:01:10Speaker 2: absolute pyromaniac, firework, mad bastard. We want to hear from you, too.
- 1:01:15Speaker 2: You can chime in on our social media channels over
- 1:01:18Speaker 2: at Tom and Jerry Show. Tom with a T, Jerry
- 1:01:20Speaker 2: with a G. Get us there on Instagram. Give us
- 1:01:23Speaker 2: an L. Follow. We'll fill your days with guff and bullshit.
- 1:01:28Speaker 2: You can find me at Gerry McBride over on Blue Sky.
- 1:01:30Speaker 2: Tom O'Mahony's heart of choice is Instagram.
- 1:01:34Speaker 1: Do you know what? It is. Do hit subscribe on
- 1:01:37Speaker 1: whatever platform you're on. I just looked on Spotify. We're
- 1:01:43Speaker 1: rocking the five stars. Fair play. Everybody, if you can,
- 1:01:45Speaker 1: if you haven't yet, and I know, just stop right now.
- 1:01:48Speaker 1: Do you know what? I'll give these guys five stars. Great.
- 1:01:51Speaker 1: We're down as comedy, entertainment, news and politics.
- 1:01:54Speaker 2: We make it our business.
- 1:01:56Speaker 1: Yeah, we make it. But that's just AI has just chosen.
- 1:01:59Speaker 1: We make it our business to steer away from politics.
- 1:02:01Speaker 2: Yeah, I think there's a bit of stolen valor going
- 1:02:03Speaker 2: on there, buddy.
- 1:02:04Speaker 1: That's why we went ahead and talked about fucking shoes
- 1:02:07Speaker 1: this evening. Hey, if there was a recall when you
- 1:02:10Speaker 1: were a youngster, like fucking sausages that came out with
- 1:02:12Speaker 1: a fucking extra toenail inside and the things or whatever. Dude,
- 1:02:15Speaker 1: let us know.
- 1:02:16Speaker 2: I'd love to hear.
- 1:02:17Speaker 1: Was there a recall of a fucking seatbelt that just
- 1:02:19Speaker 1: wouldn't fucking stop chiming, you know, regardless of who sat
- 1:02:22Speaker 1: on the seat? Maybe you can remember a time that,
- 1:02:24Speaker 1: you know, there was a toaster recall. There was definitely
- 1:02:28Speaker 1: toasters recalled. I can remember that when I was a youngster,
- 1:02:30Speaker 1: all right. Billy and the Bollocks, is there any mythical
- 1:02:34Speaker 1: fucking bastards from around your way? We've had a few
- 1:02:36Speaker 1: of them around here, but they're not mythical. They were
- 1:02:37Speaker 1: just straight, raw, dirty bastards from around this neck of
- 1:02:40Speaker 1: the woods, all right, but Well.
- 1:02:41Speaker 2: You know, I'll tell you one thing. If Billy hadn't
- 1:02:43Speaker 2: been scraping his ass around in a bowl, he probably
- 1:02:45Speaker 2: would just be Billy the murdering bastard. But it's the
- 1:02:48Speaker 2: whole kind of.
- 1:02:50Speaker 1: Billy the bowl.
- 1:02:51Speaker 2: Yeah, the bowl of it all is where the intrigue is, Tom.
- 1:02:54Speaker 2: And not for nothing as well, I forgot to mention
- 1:02:56Speaker 2: in the mention of Billy in the bowl is that
- 1:02:57Speaker 2: they say you can still hear him scraping through the
- 1:03:00Speaker 2: streets of Stoney Butter.
- 1:03:02Speaker 1: I need to actually talk to a good friend of mine.
- 1:03:04Speaker 1: She does the ghost tour bus. She's one of the
- 1:03:08Speaker 1: actors on the ghost tour bus.
- 1:03:09Speaker 2: Oh, very good.
- 1:03:10Speaker 1: They do it up around that Naked Woods up with
- 1:03:12Speaker 1: the gravediggers and stuff like that.
- 1:03:13Speaker 2: Oh, he's bound to be in that.
- 1:03:15Speaker 1: He's bound to. Well, if he's not, then it's a
- 1:03:18Speaker 1: great costume to choose, lads. I'm just saying, if you
- 1:03:20Speaker 1: can get your hands on a big enough bowl and
- 1:03:21Speaker 1: scoot your ass around for the rest of the night.
- 1:03:24Speaker 2: Knock the handle off a walk on your halfway there, buddy.
- 1:03:26Speaker 1: Do you know what I mean? I mean, tough enough
- 1:03:28Speaker 1: to go in and out of the pub, but you're looking.
- 1:03:30Speaker 1: You'll get him. You'll make a few pound anyway. People
- 1:03:32Speaker 1: will feel sorry for you.
- 1:03:33Speaker 2: Yeah, but don't be at the strangling here.
- 1:03:35Speaker 1: Oh, yeah. Maybe leave off the strangling. But look at...
- 1:03:38Speaker 1: that aside I can appreciate it Jim bro fair play
- 1:03:41Speaker 1: getting jacked getting jacked Billy fair folks hi rocks I'm
- 1:03:46Speaker 1: not going to eat for the remainder of the week
- 1:03:47Speaker 1: after the carry on of me yesterday but for now
- 1:03:49Speaker 1: I'm going to go have a lie down for myself
- 1:03:51Speaker 1: go
- 1:03:51Speaker 2: On take care everybody good luck good luck