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Man Talk Self Esteem_ Why It Matters · Military Broadcast Radio | MBR Talk

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Welcome to Man Talk 133 with Charles and Darl, the movement
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Welcome to Man Talk 133 with Shaw and Darren.
2:10
What's going on brother? Hey, what's going on bro?
2:13
How you feelin man? 8-9 to it man.
2:15
I want to welcome everybody into the show tonight.
2:19
Thank y'all for tuning in tapping in, you know Thank y'all
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for sharing it spreading the word, you know whatever y'all
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know we really appreciate it also, you know check us out on
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YouTube, man talk 133, Instagram, Facebook, us talking
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on Facebook. You know what I'm saying?
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So check us out. You know what I'm saying but
2:37
yeah man. So you know, the topic we got to
2:40
talk about tonight, man, I, I kind of wanted to discuss was
2:45
self esteem and why it matters like you have you got the high
2:52
self esteem, you get low self esteem.
2:56
So what made me think about self esteem, right?
2:58
And I'm going to get into part of this was like, get go through
3:01
Marie, you know, get some. I like to give context on, you
3:06
know, like low self esteem, right?
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Low self esteem refers to having a poor opinion of oneself,
3:13
characterized by a lack of self worth, confidence and a tendency
3:18
to be critical of oneself. It is essential leave when
3:23
someone someone doesn't feel good about themselves and
3:27
doesn't believe they are valuable.
3:29
Now that can say a whole lot because you know, I think you
3:36
and I did this. I think mighty men of value.
3:39
I think we did episode mighty men of value.
3:43
So that low self esteem is one of the areas where a lot of, I'm
3:48
going to say a lot because I, I haven't done a like a survey on
3:51
it, right? But it's what men deal with in
3:55
certain areas, you know what I mean?
3:58
So like, for example, confidence, lack confidence.
4:03
You have to go do something. I don't believe I can.
4:07
Do it. Yeah.
4:08
They confidence, men's confidence.
4:10
Easily be shot. Some.
4:11
Some, you know, some men, some men.
4:14
Why you what what you think caused that though?
4:16
Like for men to have I we supposed to be like the lion in
4:21
the jungle and somebody could come say something as simple as
4:27
man, it was some ugly shoes and they broke it.
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What what do you think? What do you think really caused
4:36
that? You know what I'm saying?
4:38
Man, I couldn't tell you man, I won't have a clue, man, other
4:41
than, you know, I like, you know, I know we're trying to get
4:43
to the bottom of self self esteem, low self esteem, but
4:47
like maybe it's the upbringing. I'll look at it on that from
4:52
that, that angle, the upbringing, you know, like, you
4:57
know, we always taught ours, you know, the, you know, kids,
5:00
whatever, you know, you got to have confidence in yourself no
5:02
matter what. You got to.
5:04
Man, you got to man 'cause like, and I think the world is dealing
5:09
with this low self esteem as a whole because like you just
5:11
said, if somebody can bring somebody self esteem down with
5:16
just telling you they got some ugly shoes on.
5:18
Yeah, just think about how it how is it going like with the
5:21
online bullying? Yeah, you know, and.
5:24
Making them and making them, you know, off they self or whatever
5:28
kids ever, whatever. Yes, if we can.
5:30
If we can use that word, you know.
5:32
You got to guess, huh? We're about to find out.
5:35
Yeah, right. We're finding out together, I
5:38
guess, you know what I'm saying? But like you said, though, man,
5:41
like it's kind of like when I think it's an upbringing, I
5:48
think it's a thing where, you know, when when they were
5:50
little, they were told certain things.
5:54
I agree with that. Sit your little stupid self
5:56
down, you know, or do you know, go sit down with your this to
6:01
our community with your little nappy hair.
6:03
I'm sure in other communities they you know.
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They probably got some. Yeah, they got some.
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They you said that. You said they heard that.
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Yeah. Or they know that, or they got
6:13
other slogans that they may use on their in their community.
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That's what I'm saying, you know, OK, yeah, community, they
6:18
may have, you know, they may have different jogging and you
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know, you know, for for us, you know, they may have heard that.
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So when you get out into the when you get out into this real
6:29
life, you know, you kind of it kind of makes you kind of kind
6:35
of fold up when somebody say something and then some of them
6:38
it make them angry. But you know what, I'm just
6:41
thinking about that, even though we ain't got to that portion
6:43
yet, the upbringing, like with the say, like let's let's use
6:49
high self esteem if they high on themselves, right, bringing
6:53
again, like the parents can bless them with the best shoes,
6:58
best clothes or whatever. You know, all their lives, you
7:00
know, they're better than everybody else.
7:03
But then once they they give them up under their parents
7:05
umbrella and they can't and they can't rock what they used to
7:09
rock when their parents was rocking the form.
7:11
Then then when they rolled out on the scene or the set or
7:14
whatever, and somebody seemed like, oh man, you got those
7:18
Busters on like that, right, the shoe.
7:21
And then that'll break them down too because they've been so used
7:24
to having it exactly under their parents umbrella.
7:28
And we're going to give you that high self esteem too.
7:30
That's kind of it's come and so the definition of low self
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esteem is a negative evaluation of oneself, compassing feelings
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of inadequacy, worthlessness, worthlessness and a lack of
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self-confidence. Now I was talking about men
7:47
because you know, I'm a man. So I'm going to address them
7:50
first. You know, we got women too that
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have low self esteem and I think one of the things with low self
7:57
esteem that get women is that if no, if daddy has never told him
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I love you or you're beautiful or you just that first Joe blow
8:08
to come by and say it and it sound good.
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Yep. What you think they going to do
8:13
bro? Yep, call them baby.
8:15
Call them baby or something like that, Yeah.
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Yeah, and then you know it, man, you, you can not all of them,
8:23
but someone can find themselves in a in a toxic relationship or
8:27
they can find themselves pregnant and by they self or,
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you know, it can get even worse. I ain't even going to say what
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the words it can get, but I'm just saying it could, it could
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actually get way, way, way, way worse, Right.
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So characteristics people with low self esteem often struggle
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with self criticism, fear of judgement and tendency to
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compare themselves to compare themselves unfavorably to
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others. You know what I'm saying?
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Somebody you know well, I ain't said you seen, but you probably
9:01
know a people that you know, they don't they don't want to
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criticize. You know, they don't want to
9:06
fail. They don't want the they compare
9:09
themselves to bro, let's let's just be real.
9:12
You're not Michael Jordan. I know it's going to hurt your
9:14
feelings. Exactly.
9:17
Let's not do that. Just stay in your lane.
9:20
You can't, you know? Yeah, everybody got their own
9:24
gift. Yeah.
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Use your gift. Don't worry about what their
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gift is. You, you just use yours.
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You can't use their gift. For real.
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The Bible say that though. That's the Scripture.
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I think it's in First Corinthians, but it talks about
9:38
how you know you should abide in the calling where you were
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called. Don't try to be somebody else if
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you ain't a shouting pastor or if you ain't a motorcycle rider
9:50
where you can stand up on the back seat of it.
9:53
That's right. Most definitely that that, that
9:55
second one, well, all both of them like shouting pastor,
9:59
whatever you get to embarrass yourself in front of millions or
10:02
thousands of people. Yeah, they get in their holiday
10:04
voice. Go out.
10:06
Yeah, but that but most definitely motorcycle rider.
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Yeah, yeah, they different bro. They different breed.
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So all you all I'm saying is that hey, be you, be true to
10:16
you. Low self esteem can have
10:19
significant consequences on mental health, relationships and
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overall quality of life. It can make it difficult to
10:28
pursue goals, maintain healthy relationships, and cope with
10:32
life challenges. They don't think they can do it.
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They've been told all their life.
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Mm hmm. Man, you ain't gonna be able to
10:39
do that. I don't even know why you trying
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bro. Afraid or failure?
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Yeah. You got to, you got to.
10:46
You got to try it, man. You got to try.
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Everything ain't going to be given to you.
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You just ain't going. The door just ain't going to be
10:52
open for you all the time. Yeah, man.
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And you know what I'm saying? And when I was in the Air Force,
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I graduated on our pitcher. Do or do not, There is no try.
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So either you're going to do it or you're not.
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But if you don't, you got to make it happen.
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Me, I'm talking to men because, you know, I've, I've been
11:14
running, you know, across people that you know, they just men,
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they feel kind of deflated, defeated.
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And I'm just like, well, bro, you got, I don't know what I can
11:26
do other than talk to you. That's it.
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They got low self esteem. Nobody's there to boost them up.
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Nobody's there to they always, you know, when you go ask for
11:37
help, they make you feel like a fool for asking.
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So a lot of them like man, why even ask?
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I don't even want to do. Yeah, you got to, you got to
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step out on that faith, man, on on everything.
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I want to say something, but it's going to be step out on
11:50
faith, on everything, on everything.
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Some some stuff you don't, some stuff you ain't going to get it
11:56
right away. You going to fail or it's going
11:58
to appear that you're failing. But you got to keep on digging
12:02
that if that's what, if that's what you want to do or that's
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what you, you know, trying to get into whatever it is you're
12:08
trying to do, you got to you got to keep pushing.
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You know, like I said, like I said, you know, it just ain't
12:14
going to be put getting on, you know, delivered to you on a
12:17
silver platter. You know what I'm saying?
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And that's what's wrong with society today.
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Everything is microwave generation, you know what I'm
12:24
saying? Everything is put on a silver
12:25
platter, have been put on a civil platter form.
12:28
So then when they got to go out and try to get it on their own
12:31
and it ain't on that silver platter no more, yeah, you got
12:35
to work for it. Then they'll they don't know how
12:36
to how to handle that. It's almost like I think we
12:39
talked about that last week or a couple of weeks ago about the
12:42
that's like the participation trophies.
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Yeah, yeah, we did talk. Awards or whatever, you know
12:47
what I'm saying? Like, you know, it's either
12:49
first, second or third. You don't get no, you don't get
12:52
nothing if you 5th, 4th, 5th and 6th place.
12:54
Just show. Them you don't, you don't get
12:56
that. You don't get it bro, you know.
12:58
What I'm saying? So some people want that, they
13:01
want that for validation that they that you, you're tapping
13:04
into like an even bigger problem.
13:06
Because I think when you have them doing that, it kind of it
13:12
kind of make them feel like they are entitled.
13:16
They didn't earn it. So now you're giving out these
13:19
participation trophies. And when you give out these
13:21
trophies like that, they are, they feel entitled.
13:25
When they don't get it, they feel it's hurt.
13:27
And they in some, in some teams, they have gotten participation
13:31
trophies, full field place or whatever the trophies appear to
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be bigger than the first and the second place trophies, right?
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So. So that make them even feel more
13:41
entitled. Right to do less to get more,
13:45
right? 'Cause the 1st and 2nd place
13:48
contestants, they feel like they shouldn't they, I guess the
13:52
society feel like the first and 2nd place contestants who put in
13:56
the hard work to win. Yeah, yeah, I'm showing up to
14:00
other people. But that's that's the object of
14:01
the game, right? That exactly.
14:04
They'll go back to the big trophy.
14:06
Yeah, go back to the lab and work out.
14:08
That's what we had to do. When we came up, it was first,
14:10
second and third. That's it.
14:12
For real dog. You know so.
14:13
I played against grown folk like y'all all my life with
14:16
basketball, so when I really played against people my age, it
14:19
was easy. It won't really like it was a it
14:22
won't like it was a challenge. And you know, and then too, you
14:27
know, y'all didn't pump low self esteem.
14:29
Y'all taught us how to shoot, how to, how to do all this, how
14:33
to handle the ball, how to, you know, how to do all this stuff
14:37
instead of like, bro, I'm gonna sit down, but you ain't going to
14:39
you ain't got and and y'all kind of just pump the, the self
14:44
esteem into us and not the low side.
14:46
But we get ready to come up up against a break.
14:49
When we come back on this break, we're going to talk about some
14:52
of the causes, know the improvements and all that stuff,
14:55
how we can make it, you know, make it that and all that good
14:58
stuff. We'll be right back, y'all.
17:57
Military broadcast radio, the station that's giving veterans a
18:02
voice. Find us on the web at MB Radio.
18:07
Opinions expressed in this program are those of the
18:09
speakers and do not necessarily reflect the views or positions
18:14
of any entities they represent. Welcome back to Man Talk 133.
18:21
Sir, Yes, Sir. Right now I don't know what's
18:23
going on. What's up?
18:25
Well, I had a cold like last. Well, this week I got a cold
18:29
Week before that, my voice went acting right, right.
18:32
But I'm still here at the old oh.
18:34
Yeah, no doubt. Like I said, man, I, I held it a
18:38
few minutes ago before we went to commercial break.
18:41
You got to call for a little bit.
18:42
I was like. I got some ward on, I got a
18:47
little ward on standby, so we good.
18:49
Yeah, All right. So some of the causes, man, of
18:54
some of the causes of low self esteem can stem from various
18:57
factors like negative experiences, bullying, criticism
19:02
and societal pressures. You know, a lot of come from
19:05
bullying. You know, back in school, man,
19:06
you know, people used to call the the shoes throat cutters.
19:10
You remember them. Yeah.
19:14
And you had to pad them on. Let me tell you, I'm going to
19:17
tell you a, a, a for real story, though you remember, you may not
19:22
remember this, but back in the day, they usually can wear
19:26
whatever kind of shoes you wanted to on gym flow.
19:30
And we used to have them. They what they call them, them
19:33
throat cutters. So they stop when they want to.
19:36
OK, I guess. So they were.
19:38
They were scratching up the floor.
19:41
I think we was the reason why they changed their rules that
19:43
you can't wear them kind of shoes.
19:47
Yo, we was messing up. I'm telling my broad them
19:49
plastic bottoms. They stopped when they wanted
19:52
to, but they skid all the way across the floor.
19:54
Dog. I was like, it made me think
19:56
about we, we were talking about bullying people with, you know,
20:00
Carter shoes, throat cutters and all kind of stuff.
20:03
Like well that the ones that are the quarter top ones like the
20:08
high top one, white ones that look almost like they are they
20:11
was. Like Adidas?
20:12
Almost. Yeah, there was a knock off
20:14
Chuck Taylors. Yeah, there you go, Them.
20:16
And they had some almost like the fake Adidas.
20:19
Yeah, Yeah, they was top. I'm going to tell you how tough
20:22
they were, bro. They were so tough that you can
20:25
clean them, literally clean them with oven cleaner.
20:29
That's how, that's how tough they were.
20:30
They were just plastic, hard plastic.
20:33
But hey, that what we had that what we won't.
20:36
And we, we at least we kept them clean, you know what I'm saying?
20:39
They couldn't say they were dirty.
20:40
They can call them throat cuddles, but they won't dirty,
20:43
you know what I'm saying? So.
20:45
So yeah, yeah. Stop.
20:48
And they want to doc you. Give me running and stop.
20:50
You may stop 3 feet over there though.
20:55
So some examples of low self esteem bro.
20:58
Negative self talk, constantly criticizing yourself, focusing
21:04
on your flaws, using negative language to describe yourself,
21:08
always talking about your head big.
21:12
You've got bumps on your face. So what?
21:15
You go to the dermatologist, you get it fixed, handle that.
21:18
That's all you got to do bro. I don't know how.
21:21
Like I said, man, that's self esteem man, if you if somebody
21:24
is. This is the low side.
21:26
This is the low side. Yeah, the low side, they really
21:29
criticize and they self like that they really got a problem.
21:32
You got a problem bro, if you talking about yourself,
21:35
criticizing yourself all the time you look in the mirror this
21:38
don't look right. Change this yeah, to that
21:41
magnitude, what you just explained.
21:44
That's that's wild, man. Man, I can't go out.
21:46
I got a bump on my face. Brian, Y'all, everybody going to
21:49
be looking at me. Take it from me.
21:50
No, they're not. Ain't nobody going to pay you no
21:53
mine. Man, not at all because they got
21:55
bumps on their face. You see what I'm saying?
21:57
They're going to probably get into your bumps.
22:00
They got them on their own face. You I, I say this sometime now
22:04
and it's and it, I believe it to be true.
22:07
You're not that important for everybody to stop their life to
22:12
focus on you. Right, unless, unless, I mean,
22:16
if you want to really be seen like that, you think somebody
22:19
going to notice you like you might throw some kind of like
22:22
yellow wig or something on top of your head or something like
22:24
that. Yeah, they going to they going
22:26
to see you then. But average Joe, man, ain't
22:29
nobody paying you don't mind, man.
22:30
I. Think about you.
22:31
You know what they call them ones that do them wigs like
22:33
that. They call them a bozo.
22:34
If you want to be a bozo, go down.
22:37
Nobody, nobody care no more. They know now that y'all doing
22:41
it they doing it for video. Somebody came out all this
22:44
stuff. No more doubt for real.
22:47
We talked about this earlier. The fear of failing, avoiding
22:50
challenges or tasks due to fear of not succeeding.
22:54
So you failed and let's say we had this science project and you
23:01
wanted the volcano to erupt and blow all over the table and you
23:07
put the you had the little baking soda in there and you
23:11
pulled the vinegar in there. You ain't have enough vinegar
23:15
now. Everybody looking at you
23:16
laughing. This happened when you were in
23:19
the 4th grade, bro, you 50. You can try something else.
23:25
You know what? I'm saying right?
23:27
You could try something else. This is for example, you got you
23:30
got a job. So you were successful at that,
23:33
right? You had kids, you were
23:35
successful at that. You got a wife, you were
23:37
successful at that. Don't always look at the always
23:40
look at it. Explain it this way.
23:43
Folks always look at the spot on the sheet.
23:46
If you got a white sheet and there's one little small speck
23:49
on it, everybody focus on the spec versus all the white that's
23:54
around. So why focus on the bro?
23:56
You got all these positive things.
23:58
You failed in the 4th grade. Your volcano didn't come out
24:00
like you wanted to. Right.
24:02
And then man, go back to, like you said, the self esteem.
24:06
I don't even know why they really worried about, you know,
24:09
different things like that, 'cause like I said, rich people
24:12
or people that got money, they don't, they don't wear their
24:15
money. They don't they.
24:17
Probably don't. And people probably be like,
24:19
what are you talking about? They don't wear their money.
24:21
See, we, we, we, we, we a lot of people in our community, they,
24:25
they wear their money. Yeah, they show you they got it.
24:28
Yeah, as a target. But they ain't got, but they
24:31
ain't got, they ain't got nothing in the bank but they got
24:33
it on. They got it on.
24:34
People with money, they got their money in the bank, but
24:37
they ain't got it on you. Seeing what's on regular old,
24:39
you know, slides, Dockers, whatever they wearing, you know,
24:42
whatever, they ain't going out buying these $700.00 pair of
24:46
jeans and $400.00 shirt that you can only wear to the club one
24:51
time 'cause if you wear more than two weekends, they're going
24:53
to be like, yo bro, that's the only outfit you got.
24:56
You know what I'm saying? Shoes you got.
24:59
Yes, that's all I got. Yeah, so ain't no need to, you
25:02
know, to try to stretch yourself to try to, you know, somebody,
25:06
bro, Press, people like that man.
25:07
Like I said, the people with people with money, they don't.
25:11
You don't. You don't know they got money.
25:12
You don't know it bro. They want they want to show you
25:15
they got it. Yeah.
25:16
Then, you know, they got a quite natural.
25:17
That's everybody. You know, if you got to dress up
25:19
for an event or you know, church or whatever, that's that's fine
25:22
and dandable out outside of that, the people with money,
25:25
they run around here showing you like, you know, Gucci and all
25:30
that. They don't care.
25:31
Some of them do, but not a lot of them.
25:33
You ain't going to the vast majority of the people got that
25:36
real money. You ain't going to know they
25:38
really got it, you know, I mean, it's just what it is, bro.
25:42
And this right here is a is a big issue for a lot of people
25:46
bro. Which one What we got?
25:48
Prioritizing the needs and desires of others over your own,
25:54
often to gain approval and avoid conflict.
25:58
Everybody like has dealt with this.
26:00
I know I have. I ain't even gonna lie to you.
26:03
Please. You know you want to.
26:04
Hey, now I get it. I got it now, you know.
26:07
Don't worry about it. You know how you go out with
26:08
somebody? I ain't really done this too
26:11
much, but I have done it before. You know how you go out with
26:13
somebody? Oh yeah, yeah.
26:16
You know the board, they ain't really got it like that, but
26:19
they want to, you know, make themselves look a different in a
26:23
different light with you. And I'm just like, I was
26:26
alright, I can do it, I got it, I can pay for it.
26:29
It ain't no big deal now. I got it and then.
26:34
They'll keep letting you get it. They'll do it.
26:39
Say it again. And you keep on.
26:42
They'll keep letting. They'll keep letting you get it
26:45
too. Tell you why and you got it.
26:47
This time they'll be setting up a lunch.
26:49
A lunch meeting every week, dog. Yeah, that's that's got it, bro.
26:54
That's even with situation with that's even with things without
26:57
money, You know what I'm saying? Like you keep on, you keep
27:00
telling them you got it, they they'll let you keep getting it.
27:02
I'm going to tell you right now, a lot of a lot of I see a big is
27:07
in in churches. You know, I was going to bring
27:10
it up. Yeah, I want to please to pass
27:12
it and let me give you a real, real secret.
27:16
The pastor don't really care. I hate to be.
27:19
I hate to be the one to tell you all this.
27:21
Yeah. Some people like that bro.
27:24
Some people probably looking at it now when you just say they're
27:26
probably looking like really passing on passing, don't care
27:31
about. That he don't really care dog he
27:33
really he really honestly all he care about if if he love if he
27:39
love God, love his wife, love his kids, that's basically all
27:43
he care about. All the other stuff is like
27:45
extra now you know, they got some people that are going to be
27:48
in their corner no matter what. But if you're doing all this,
27:52
hey Pat, let me wash your car and you know, I got a guy come
27:55
out and do it, but I got to do it for free.
27:56
Don't worry you, you people please and try to get where you
28:00
and to get approval for what? If you get approval to Lord,
28:04
that's all you need. That's all.
28:07
You know, some people do that, you know, difficult to keep
28:11
forming and maintaining healthy relationships due to feeling of
28:15
unworthiness or fear of rejection.
28:18
They don't want to go all in because they feel like, see the
28:21
last girl that broke up with me with a football player when I
28:24
was in this 11th grade, this dog football player, I got rejected.
28:30
So I don't really want to go all in with them because if I go all
28:34
in, she might leave me. You know what I'm?
28:37
Saying bro you bro you 35. We definitely have them 7 teen
28:43
that OK he's a star football player like you You said this
28:46
one time before it happened all of us yeah it.
28:50
Got all of us. Yeah, and even even the women,
28:54
they didn't got dumped for the cheerleader.
28:56
It didn't happen. You're right.
29:00
But you were 17, bro. You got to get.
29:02
You got to get past that. You you got to go all in, bro.
29:05
You, if you don't go all in, you're going to be 60 years old,
29:11
no wife, no kids, house full of dogs, and that's it.
29:16
I'm sorry. That's your, that's your, that's
29:18
your. We in for you.
29:19
That's it, yeah. Just being honest dog holding a
29:24
negative view of your physical appearance or or abilities.
29:29
Boy, look at my stomach. God Almighty.
29:35
We sit down in the cell. Yeah, all the time, dog man.
29:39
Just work on think about. Think about it now you got OK,
29:43
you got you got a house, wife, 2333 kids and a granddaughter,
29:54
right? 4/4 Granddaughter Yeah 4.
29:57
Granddaughter, right? Yeah.
29:58
So you have a lot going for you, so why would you stay in the
30:04
mirror every day? Dog, you grew the beard, why you
30:07
going to talk about it when you grew it?
30:09
Exactly. I know we're going to have some,
30:11
oh, some, some some silver highlights in it.
30:14
I'm glad. I'm glad that you know you
30:16
ain't. Lying dog for real let.
30:19
Me know their wisdom, you know, is coming out.
30:22
You know what I'm saying? Well, I'm going to tell you
30:24
right how to messed up. We didn't got past the break,
30:26
dog and we yeah, we're going to hit this break.
30:28
We'll be right back. Y'all to the break.
30:30
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station that's giving veterans a voice.
31:33
Find us. On the web at MB Radio.
31:38
Opinions expressed in this program are those of the
31:41
speakers and do not necessarily reflect the views or positions
31:46
of any entities they represent. Welcome back to Man Talk 133
31:52
with Y'all and Daryl. Hey y'all reach out there.
31:55
We had that fairway driver and him Man talk 133 with Y'all and
32:00
Daryl sent. You.
32:02
That with. Y'all.
32:03
Yeah, like I was saying before the break.
32:05
Yeah. Hey, like I said, I knew.
32:07
Hey, I'm glad I've been here this long.
32:10
That Lord kept me here this long.
32:11
So I got I got my silver highlights.
32:13
Hey, I'm going to keep them. You know what I'm saying?
32:16
I ain't going to go just because, you know, somebody got
32:18
like, oh, he great, you know, this, that or whatever.
32:20
Now I'm going to go cut everything off my face.
32:22
Ain't doing none of that, dog. Like bro, like.
32:26
You know. Some people now some people will
32:28
cut them off, you know, won't grow the beard because they, you
32:30
know, they may not can grow a fool beard.
32:32
You know what I'm saying? It may be I.
32:34
Can't grow it bro. But see, that's understandable
32:37
though, you know what I'm saying?
32:38
But I'm talking about like, you know, just case of my life.
32:40
Oh, you, you look like, you know, you like Grandpa Will.
32:43
I am 1. So, So what?
32:46
You want me to do? Yeah, right.
32:48
So and now, you know, I embrace mine.
32:51
And now I look around and see a lot of people trying to, you
32:53
know, get great beers. Yeah.
32:56
Yeah, I mean, it's what it is though.
32:57
I, I mean, you know, you another one man is, you know, they
33:03
constantly seeking validation or affirmation from others even
33:07
when it's not needed. A dog, a man, a man high sound,
33:12
bro, when I was up there singing today, you know, Hey, man, you
33:15
know when I, when I, when I we're teaching the high sound
33:18
dog, I pray good, right. Well, you know that when you
33:22
pray dog you, you ain't pray this week, but I know.
33:25
But lad, we high sound though. Right.
33:27
You sounded good bro. Like they keep asking the same
33:31
stuff over and over man, how much?
33:32
Do you? Yeah.
33:33
I feel you on that too. Yeah.
33:35
Yeah, hey bro, how? How you like my truck?
33:38
You asked me 4 times about this truck how you like?
33:41
Bro. OK, I like the truck, but that's
33:44
that's low self esteem. I'm gonna ask you something too.
33:47
Before we get into the high self esteem I got.
33:51
I got a couple more things to say, but I want to ask you this
33:53
because I saw something today and it just triggered.
33:56
That's that's what kind of helped me trigger.
33:59
I see triggers and it just give me what I need, right?
34:04
Being believing that one that you are not good enough,
34:10
deserving or lovable. Don't nobody love you like bro
34:13
get over that. I don't.
34:15
I hate to say it like that but you got to get past it.
34:18
You're a grown man, dog. Yeah, get past that.
34:20
You grown stop it all right, so this this is what I saw today
34:24
right so I'm going through UNC campus today and I may have been
34:33
on the phone with Keisha. I ain't, I ain't.
34:34
I think I was, but I'm going through man and I've and I'm
34:39
about having to look and I saw somebody jogging, young lady
34:42
jogging. Yeah.
34:44
I'm wondering like, why? Excuse me.
34:49
I'm wondering why women. Maybe women can answer this in
34:55
the chat or whatever, right. Why do some women feel they have
35:00
the dress skimpy to look good? What makes me?
35:06
Think. That that's something that makes
35:09
you look good, like you have have your breasts out, have your
35:13
body out, have your stomach out and then half the stomach you
35:17
got out. You're like you're in the first
35:18
or third trimester. So I'm trying to figure out
35:22
right, What do you think though? What do you think?
35:26
Right and there ain't no there ain't no shade on them when you
35:29
say like in the third trap, second or third trimester.
35:31
You're right, though, Maybe there's something, you know, the
35:34
women in the chat can, you know, can answer, but I think man,
35:38
it's validation because I mean, but then and then when they do
35:41
this in public, then they wonder why guys B, because, you know,
35:48
looking or whatever, because this first thing they would do
35:50
is they'll call guys perverts. But I mean, if you out there
35:54
like that, you know, we ain't going guys ain't going to walk
35:57
around. Nobody going to do that.
35:58
Male or female ain't going to do that.
36:00
Walk around like they got blinders on.
36:02
Yeah. You know, they see you running
36:05
around out there, you know, like you said on the campus like
36:07
that, they going to be like, you know, they going, they going to
36:09
look you. Know what I'm saying, like you
36:12
said that is that that must be something that they want because
36:15
it to be honest, dawg, it is, is, is on the track.
36:19
Like you're walking around like you got to put underwear on.
36:23
Like I don't I don't get that part of it.
36:25
I don't know. And and I hope the women can
36:29
help us out because is that a part of the low self esteem?
36:33
They've been rejected. So by them being rejected, they
36:35
want to put this on to make them feel validated and make people
36:40
look at them and be like, hey, look at me.
36:41
I know, remember in high school or middle school when I had, you
36:45
know, the ponytails and the book teeth and you would talk about
36:48
me. Now look at me.
36:49
Yeah, that's probably, I bet you this probably had got something
36:52
that probably could have something to do with it.
36:54
Yeah. And in some cases it's the same
36:56
thing 'cause I heard a lot of guys too say, you know, they
36:59
kind of like fed up with the gems now going to gyms and
37:03
stuff, 'cause when they go to gyms, they got females, like I
37:06
said, dressed like that. And they got their phone video
37:09
and they self. And you if you sitting on a
37:11
bench over here, you know, say like you just got through doing
37:13
a set, right, say dumbbell presses, right.
37:18
So you laying down on the bench. So once you once you do your
37:21
set, you set up and you setting up, you taking a breather,
37:26
right? And she over here diagonal
37:29
across from you videoing herself doing some squat, whatever she
37:32
trying to do with skimpy stuff on.
37:35
And then she look around and see see she see you sitting there.
37:39
But you you are getting a breather.
37:42
She'll call the GMO people on you saying that.
37:45
You a pervert. Yeah, I've had guys, you know,
37:49
say that. A lot of guys say they kind of,
37:51
you know, like done with the gym, even though some guys do
37:54
still go, you know, here. Some guys say that.
37:57
Yeah, I still go, man. I but you know, I go during the
38:00
time where, you know, I kind of hit that cycle as mostly older
38:04
people, you know, that that that BNS.
38:07
So I kind of hit that cycle. I remember back in the day when
38:10
I used to go, you know, it was a lot of young people in that
38:13
taking videos and doing all that kind of stuff like them, just
38:17
like, hey, how long are you going to be on that?
38:19
Right? I come here to hit this, this,
38:21
this, then I'm out. But.
38:23
But you know what ain't? Ain't that crazy though, man.
38:26
Like it. Then it then came down to where
38:30
you got to go to the gym and walk on egg shells.
38:34
Yeah, because you know why? Let me tell you why.
38:37
Because the gyms and I hate I'm going to say it straight up, you
38:40
know, straight through the middle.
38:41
The gyms won't hold the women accountable.
38:44
The dress code. Now understand, you know, you
38:47
going to wear some. I ain't say you got to come work
38:49
out in cargo shorts. That's not what I'm saying.
38:52
Or Jean shorts. But what I am saying is that if
38:56
they come in the door a certain way, then the manager of the gym
39:00
should be like, hey, you know, we going to have to you had to
39:03
cover some up how you can't go in there like that.
39:07
You feel what I'm saying? Hey, because now you know, they
39:10
they sell, they got the whole outfits for sale now like like
39:14
they can't go to the gym now, you know, like if they're if
39:17
they go to the gym, that that's they go back to the self esteem
39:19
that we were talking about. They can't go to the gym when
39:22
they go to the gym now they got a match.
39:24
All the way down. They go, they go all the way
39:27
down with the skimpy all that. They go by the whole 9 like they
39:30
get ready to go out somewhere. Including the water bottle.
39:34
Including the what? The water bottle.
39:36
Yeah, as you, you just, yeah, you just going to the gym, you
39:40
know what I'm saying? Like, you know, it ain't like it
39:41
was back in the day, you know, I know it was a different era, but
39:45
back in the day, you know, just had to get it in, get it out of
39:47
the mud or whatever, you know, you might have a, you know, bag
39:50
of T-shirt on or whatever, some shorts, you working out or
39:52
whatever, you know, that's how I like to work out anyway.
39:55
Somewhat of a, you know, if I was doing with a bag, kind of
39:58
not real baggy, but a loose T-shirt, you know?
40:01
So you can stretch so you can do what you need to do.
40:04
Man, if you got some stuff on so tight that it cutting your
40:06
circulation off, how you going to really enjoy your workout?
40:09
You just sound like for example, if a guy comes in there, he got
40:13
these, he got these Liberty baby shorts on and he get rid do some
40:17
squats. It ain't going to be good for
40:19
him. Right.
40:21
And then I tell you, I tell you quick story, I don't know if you
40:24
remember boy Austin that used to work out with us back in the day
40:27
when we was working at Cali. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
40:29
You know I do, you know, I used to always work out with the with
40:33
the baggy, baggy T-shirts, right.
40:35
And you know, of course, you know, I ain't got it now, but
40:39
you know what was? He took my T-shirt.
40:42
I took my back, had to take my shirt off or whatever.
40:44
You know, one time I had to take my he can.
40:46
He went back to where he said, yo, man, he said don't let wit
40:49
fool y'all know, But he, he he he kind of, he kind of cut up on
40:52
their T-shirt, you know what I'm saying?
40:54
So I always work out in loose fitted shirts.
40:58
Not real. Yeah.
41:00
So it cost, like I said, I can be comfortable in it.
41:02
But like I said, you know, that was your I ain't got it now like
41:04
I used to. I want to get it back.
41:06
But you know, but but that's what I'm saying.
41:09
To your point when you was talking about the guy with the
41:12
the little tiny shorts, like how can you exercise with tiny
41:15
shorts on like that? I can use squat dog because I'm
41:18
going to tell you right now that they going up in there, you
41:21
going, I don't know how you going to do it.
41:23
You know what I'm saying? So I'm just saying like women,
41:26
maybe women can tell us in the chat.
41:28
Is it is it rejection? Is it what is it?
41:31
Because I don't understand if you're going jogging, why you
41:36
why you got to jog like you on the beach?
41:39
You know what I'm saying? I don't I don't understand that.
41:41
But let me now let me go to the men real quick before I get to
41:45
the high side stuff, right? Why do some men have to be loud
41:52
and over the top to prove they got high self esteem?
41:56
In actuality is more low self esteem because you showing your
42:02
deep insecurities. Yep, got to be seen.
42:06
All the time. No question about it.
42:09
No question. I hate no.
42:11
I hate no kind of dudes man. Come in.
42:14
They're on the, they're on the speakerphone.
42:16
Yeah, they want everybody here to come and say, yeah man, you
42:19
know, I just went and picked up that, put that $1000 in the bank
42:22
and you know, so I'm going to come out of your house and I'm
42:25
OK bro. Y'all got to go by the thing
42:28
and, and pick up my cartiers, you know, from the, from the
42:31
eyeglass place. And I'll be over there after I
42:33
do that. And the other guy on the end of
42:35
the phone, he, he's sitting there like what?
42:37
And what is he talking about bro?
42:40
You hit the nail, you hit the nail on, you hit the nail on the
42:43
head. With that right there though,
42:44
yeah. Yeah, man.
42:46
And and you know, you and I both me and you know, I've, I think
42:51
it's more so like, like you said, rejection.
42:54
You know me and me and tend to have a harder way to go growing
42:58
up than than women now. Well, it's, it's, it's, it's
43:04
tough for me because men have it hard, but women can too.
43:07
Because you think about it, you know, you got perverts in the
43:10
family, right? You know, they can do stuff to
43:13
the little girls and you got people perverts.
43:18
They can do something to the men and you got the way they talk to
43:22
the men. You know, it's just like like
43:25
bro, like you going like, can we have a like a real serious
43:29
discussion without you keep telling me how stupid I am or
43:32
how crazy I am or how we got all that established, bro, I know
43:36
that. And like and go back to the guy
43:38
like you just said too real quick.
43:41
He's the one that a lot of guys that do that, like you say, it
43:43
is a little self esteem, but they think that's what they
43:46
think. That's what re or the girls in
43:49
when they, hey, I got to go pick up my cottiers or whatever, you
43:52
know, you know, $1000 and back. Got to go get my Jag this
43:55
evening from the shop and all that.
43:57
You know, they detailing it. You see they do that on the
44:00
speaker. They hear the, they see women
44:02
around. They, they tend to do that a lot
44:04
of times when they see women, like when they go walk in a
44:06
restaurant. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
44:09
They feel that they can pull the women like that.
44:11
But you know what? I always say it like this, if
44:15
they doing it, it worked somewhere, you know, somebody
44:19
didn't fail for it and they found out that he had a 1996 Jag
44:23
and he had. No, he didn't say.
44:26
Well, yeah, yeah, he said just his Jag.
44:28
Yeah, yeah. With ripped seats in it.
44:30
You know what I'm saying, The black rim, all that, you know
44:34
what I'm saying? So I'm just saying they can.
44:37
They tease but they clean though.
44:40
Yeah, you see what I'm saying? You.
44:41
Talking about he had some 20s on it.
44:43
Yeah, yeah. Hey, we coming up against the
44:47
break, y'all. But when we come out the break,
44:48
man, we're going to talk about high self esteem.
44:52
You know, we can talk about the low because, you know, some size
44:55
of high self esteem that could, you know, tilt the scales too,
45:00
you know what I'm saying? So we'll be right back after the
45:02
break, y'all. Military broadcast radio, the
48:33
station that's giving veterans a voice.
48:37
I just saw the web at NB Radio. Opinions expressed in this
48:42
program are those of the speakers and do not necessarily
48:46
reflect the views or positions of any entities they represent.
48:52
Welcome back to Man TALK. Yes, Sir.
48:55
Yes, Sir. Three, what's up everybody?
48:59
Thank you all for tuning in, man.
49:00
We really, really, really do. Boy, one day I'm going to be the
49:04
same. Like coffee one day, boy.
49:06
Hey bro, do you know what I'm? 1.
49:08
Day now one. Day one day.
49:11
One day I'm when we come out to break, I'm going to come in and
49:14
say coffee. Now I can't do it now, 'cause my
49:17
throat, I can say, I can say that part.
49:22
The other part I got to work on. That's my throat.
49:25
I'm going to come out to break one day Now I'm going to be
49:27
saying coffee. They're going to be like, oh, is
49:28
that coffee or is that me? We got vocals bro.
49:33
I'm just just trying to tell y'all don't sleep on us.
49:37
You see what I'm saying? Let's jump into high self esteem
49:40
before we get out of here. Now, high self esteem means
49:43
having a generally positive view of yourself, accepting your
49:46
strengths and weakness without excessive criticism or shame.
49:51
It involves feeling confident in your abilities, recognizing your
49:55
strengths, and believing in your worth.
49:59
Now let me say this is AI personally feel like it's a fine
50:06
line between high self esteem and I would say basically kind
50:15
of like kind of like pride, I guess because you kind of you
50:18
can make it all about. You.
50:21
Yeah, I feel you. That kind of feel you on that?
50:23
You know how you can make it about people can make about
50:25
themselves like, hey, you know, I did this.
50:29
I don't know. I, you know, look at the house
50:32
that we built, you know what I'm saying?
50:34
And they start making it about themselves.
50:36
I ain't saying you can't talk about your strengths.
50:40
Everybody got strengths, you know what I'm saying?
50:42
You can teach folk how to, you know, hit that middle on that,
50:46
on that, you know, through your gun classes, You know what I'm
50:49
saying? I can, I can bag a truckie and
50:51
I'm almost blindfolded. Everybody got their strength.
50:54
We up here talking. We can talk, you know what I'm
50:57
saying? So and we can, you know, do we
51:00
do on the radio show and the podcast and all the other stuff
51:03
that we do, right, Right. So I'm just saying to people
51:07
high self esteem, be careful, man.
51:10
I'll not think I would say a man, I'll not think more hot
51:13
than himself than he ought to. Right.
51:16
Because like you said, man, you know, when we go out, when we go
51:20
out and when we go out and shoot, you know, of course with
51:24
the classes or whatever, you know what I'm saying?
51:26
I don't, you know, I let you know, I let them, I let them say
51:31
whatever they say, you know what I'm saying?
51:34
Like if I can shoot or not. I don't go out there and try to
51:37
be the best or try to do, you know, whatever you know.
51:40
I don't even sometime and we do the class.
51:42
Sometime I don't even shoot. Or just let them do it, yeah.
51:47
And then you know what you mean. Sometime after the, you know,
51:50
some of the classes leave or whatever, somebody stick around.
51:54
I might shoot with them a little bit or whatever, but a lot of
51:56
times I don't even shoot, you know what I'm saying?
51:59
Like sometimes I shoot, I go out, I go out to the range by on
52:03
a day by myself, right, right, You know what I'm saying,
52:06
because I don't you know, like you know how some people make,
52:08
you know, like because you do have some people that they want
52:11
to get out there. They trying, they supposed to be
52:13
trying to teach the class, but they out there trying to shoot
52:16
all the targets, trying to show everybody how they shoot.
52:19
That what I was just talking about, about making about them.
52:22
And say I don't, I don't do none of that.
52:23
So you know. You know, and I want folk to be
52:27
any nothing wrong with feeling comfort in your abilities.
52:31
I know you can shoot. I've seen you shoot, right?
52:34
You ain't got to get out there and say everybody stand back.
52:36
Yeah. I don't do none of that.
52:39
Yeah, You know, if they didn't know that, if they didn't, if
52:42
you know they didn't know, y'all didn't say nothing.
52:44
They wouldn't even know that. I shoot like that.
52:47
Right. Yeah, yeah.
52:48
Likewise, that's why sometime I don't even shoot with the
52:51
participants after they leave. I might, you know, but some days
52:54
I'll go by myself. Yeah, OK.
52:56
You. Know.
52:57
And then, you know, believe in your worth.
52:59
You got to believe in what you believe in.
53:01
You like, if you believe you can, let's say, own a trucking
53:05
company, only you can believe that.
53:08
I can't believe it for you. I don't know.
53:11
Some people want you to believe it for them, do it for them, run
53:15
it for them. Why you do what you dig what I'm
53:20
saying like you got to believe. If I'm doing all this, I might
53:23
well believe for the drug incoming for me.
53:26
Exactly. You dig what I'm saying like so
53:28
you know then individual with high self esteem generally feel
53:32
good about themselves and see themselves as valuable and
53:36
worthy. I and and that's a good thing to
53:39
have, but I have seen people that bro, have you ever seen you
53:46
ever been in the store dog and you know, everybody got to let
53:51
you know how much they paid for something all the time.
53:57
So how much is this? It's 3000.
54:00
OK, I'll take it. Yeah.
54:03
And then you know what you do? I'm going to tell people what
54:05
they do because they sometimes they get caught up in
54:08
themselves. What you do is when you say 3000
54:11
and they say I take it, you know what they do?
54:15
They wait for you, they walk outside and then they take it.
54:19
That's what they do. The thieves are in the store
54:22
waiting on you to spend that 3 grand.
54:24
It's strange that you said that because I give you another quick
54:28
scenario. I know we talking about the the
54:30
high self esteem, right? The same scenario that you just
54:33
that you just quoted. It's the same thing since we
54:37
were talking about guns a few seconds ago, right?
54:40
It's the same thing with a guy that's open carry versus a guy
54:45
with concealed, concealed carry. Like we conceal.
54:49
Yeah. How many times have you been in
54:51
the store with guy with somebody that's open?
54:54
They got it all out on their hip.
54:56
They want you to see it, you know, the Sundays ago, you know
54:59
what I'm saying? So but you but you standing
55:02
right beside them just as deadly as a rattlesnake.
55:05
But they don't know that because you conceal and then it go back
55:09
to what you said, like the guy got his money taken.
55:12
Yeah, like I've seen some guys that they got, you know, they
55:15
they got their stuff on their hip, the open carry and then
55:19
somebody comes standing behind them, take it off them.
55:21
Let. Me.
55:22
Get that one. Yeah, robbed them with their own
55:24
gun. Let me get that homie.
55:26
Or kill them so or kill them so that goes back to what you was
55:29
talking about, about the $3000 thousand dollars or whatever and
55:33
they go out in the store, walk out the store and get robbed.
55:35
And get robbed out and you know, like you said, man, it's you
55:38
know, I'm all I'm trained to eliminate the threat.
55:43
If I see you, you got yours on the side.
55:45
To me, that's a threat. So you the first one going to
55:49
get it. You know what I'm saying?
55:51
If if it went to that you the first one.
55:53
They don't realize that. Yeah, yeah.
55:55
I mean, it's it's stupid how they do stuff, but hey.
55:57
Now that's that's here in Carolina and all those other,
56:00
you know, places that you know that you know, got concealed
56:03
carry. I don't know how for our friends
56:05
that you know, join us on the live before we was on the live
56:08
with them from Cali and I don't know how Cali gun laws is.
56:11
So we we just speaking for North Carolina.
56:14
Yeah, North Carolina, y'all don't go out there and say man
56:17
talk. 133 said nothing. Right, right.
56:21
It's for the state of North Carolina.
56:23
That's when. There's claim out, clear that
56:27
up. You know what I'm saying?
56:28
I'm right. Maybe I'll do a man talk.
56:32
They didn't stand in front of the magistrate when man talk 133
56:35
like who would have man talk 133 No man talk.
56:43
Right. Excuse me y'all.
56:45
It's like the same scenario that you was talking about.
56:48
You know what I'm saying? They're the first ones you going
56:49
to get. Yeah man, talk ain't saying
56:51
nothing. Y'all don't do that.
56:53
Do not do that. They accept their flaws and
56:56
weaknesses without excessive self criticism, understanding
57:01
that everyone has areas of improvement.
57:03
Exactly. You know how they you know man?
57:06
I tell you what man, My man. Dang well my face looks scorpion
57:10
and a mug. I should have cut it.
57:13
It's all. I ain't worried about it.
57:15
I, you know, and you got somebody else go out there.
57:18
They faced away with them. Yep, it's worse.
57:21
Than yours exactly then you got you got like you know it's about
57:25
like what you were saying if you earlier in the show about you
57:29
know, you got 4 kids and a grandchild.
57:32
And. You know what I'm saying?
57:34
People ain't paying no mind 'cause like I say, hey, you know
57:36
I ain't, I ain't no workout guy like I used to.
57:39
I'm trying to get back in shape, but I ain't got no, I ain't got
57:43
no good either though, like you know, like so you know, So what
57:46
I'm, what I'm saying is, Hey, I'm going out to the restaurant
57:50
when I go out and I'm going to eat now.
57:52
I don't care who looking. Me too, it's a fact.
57:55
Let me show you. Let me be looking at you don't
57:57
want to. Let me show you how we eat this
57:59
over here. And that's the thing, man, you
58:01
know how people, how people, people do that, You know what
58:04
I'm saying? They just a guy told me one time
58:09
I had a pink shirt on. Oh, I wear, I wear, yeah, I wear
58:13
it too. Like hey, his dress shirt or
58:15
whatever, you know, or. Polo, he said real men don't
58:18
wear pink. I said real men don't worry
58:20
about what other men wear. There you go.
58:23
I bet they shut him down. Yeah, it is.
58:24
Go. You can go ahead around the
58:26
corner, Sit down. They got a spot for you around
58:29
there where you can. I'm just saying you can't be so
58:31
concerned about people when they get out the car.
58:34
Girl, look at him. Shoes he got on You ain't got
58:36
nothing going on in your life, dog.
58:38
And they experienced pride, huh? And I was there.
58:43
Tell them, say have them see what kind of man up under this
58:45
pink shirt. There you go.
58:47
Don't let the smile fool you. Or the pink shirt.
58:49
There you go and man talk 130. They ain't telling y'all to go
58:53
out there and fight. Now I'm just playing.
58:55
Right, 'cause real quick, 'cause you know, in outside of that
58:57
with the pink, you know, like you know, we, we, we, you know,
59:02
we, you know, we recognize breast cancer.
59:04
Yeah, 100%. Too.
59:06
So you know, ain't nothing wrong with that.
59:08
Everybody has everybody's family, somebody, everybody,
59:11
everybody's family have had somebody being touched by this
59:14
so. Yeah, we got so much more to get
59:19
to man like they experience. This is the one that got and we
59:22
got like 30 seconds. They experience pride in their
59:27
accomplishments and feel a sense of satisfaction when meeting
59:30
gold. That word pride scares me a
59:32
little bit because it making that it's making it about them
59:35
and you know, you can go. It's some other stuff we got man
59:37
in here, courage and relentlessness, respect self
59:41
love. And then if you you know, when I
59:43
did my research has got some more stuff in here.
59:47
You know the type of theories that that self low what self
59:52
esteem can come from social media social media theory,
59:58
terror management theory, man's law, hierarchy of needs, self
1:00:03
determination theory, social identity theory, identity
1:00:09
verification calls Roger called Rogers humanistic psychology and
1:00:16
developmental theories. All these play a part into.
1:00:20
You know, self esteem. But we're out of time y'all and
1:00:23
we preach out y'all joining Man Talk 133 with Shawl and Daryl
1:00:28
into next time. Thank y'all for tuning in.
1:00:32
God bless. Ladies and gentlemen, thank you
1:00:35
for tuning in to Military Broadcast Radio.
1:00:39
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