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Why Do I Feel Stuck with Money-Even When I’m Doing Everything Right? | Money Manifestation Chapter 1 · Rock My Finances

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Speaker 2: Welcome to the Rock My Finances show on k for
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Speaker 2: fund in finance. Join Powerhouse Jeffer josp CDFA CMC and
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Speaker 2: private Wealth advisor as she collaborates with you to create clarity,
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Speaker 2: control and confidence with your money, your way. It's not
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Speaker 2: about the zeros, So what is it all about? Let's
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Speaker 2: find out now. Here's your host and weekly friend, Jennifer Jose.
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Speaker 3: Welcome back. This is the first episode of a brand
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Speaker 3: new series. I'm so excited to tech to talk to
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Speaker 3: you all about this wonderful thing. Okay, we are going
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Speaker 3: to call this the Money Manifestation Theory. I'm going to
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Speaker 3: have eight chapters right off the bat, and I want
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Speaker 3: to share this with you slowly. But we're going to
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Speaker 3: be introducing a lot of new tools, which is pretty exciting.
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Speaker 3: All right. Have you ever felt stuck with your money?
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Speaker 3: Even when you feel like you're doing everything right, you
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Speaker 3: actually could be you know, listening to the news, listening
1:44
Speaker 3: to your parents. You might have a spouse or a
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Speaker 3: business partner that you're listening to and they might be
1:49
Speaker 3: doing really, really really well, and you are still feeling like,
1:53
Speaker 3: why am I just not getting where I need to be?
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Speaker 3: And it might be actual reality that's holding you back.
2:01
Speaker 3: So we might say, you know, I really feel great
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Speaker 3: a lot of the times, until I do my bills,
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Speaker 3: or until I look at my bank account, or until
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Speaker 3: my financial advisor brings up the future, or or or right.
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Speaker 3: So it could be anything at all that's helping you
2:18
Speaker 3: feel stuck. Your friends like this just happened. Your friends
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Speaker 3: might might call you and say, hey, I got a
2:25
Speaker 3: great thing I want to do a concert series, and
2:28
Speaker 3: I want to buy four or five tickets in this
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Speaker 3: whole concert series. Are you in? Are you going to
2:33
Speaker 3: go in with me? I actually have a client that
2:36
Speaker 3: had some friends sign her up for like a weekend
2:40
Speaker 3: Airbnb vacation, and she never even gave the yes, gung ho,
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Speaker 3: let's do this. She was working, so she was busy,
2:47
Speaker 3: and they said, okay, great, we're going to save a
2:50
Speaker 3: room for you and this Airbnb. So they kind of
2:52
Speaker 3: obligated her to this weekend in this Airbnb without her
2:57
Speaker 3: say so or out her voice, right, And so you
2:59
Speaker 3: might be experiencing things like that, and then how do
3:02
Speaker 3: you backtrack that if it's not in your spending plan?
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Speaker 3: I call all the budgets spending plans, because budgets three
3:09
Speaker 3: strict spending plans are a lot more freer, right, So
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Speaker 3: you get to choose everywhere you want to put your money.
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Speaker 3: Every dime you spend in your household, you get to
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Speaker 3: choose where you want to put it. I know it
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Speaker 3: doesn't feel that way sometimes, especially like right now, our
3:24
Speaker 3: gas prices just went crazy up. Gas in our car,
3:27
Speaker 3: gas in our house, like everything just shot up crazy.
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Speaker 3: So when that happens, it's uncontrollable for us, right, that's
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Speaker 3: not something that we can control or maybe even foresee
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Speaker 3: in the nearrable future. So nearrable is that a word?
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Speaker 3: I think it is today? Okay, So how can we
3:45
Speaker 3: do this? How can we change this stuck feeling? Okay,
3:49
Speaker 3: we're going to dive right in. You might be feeling
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Speaker 3: maybe not broke, but just maybe off track, like you're
3:56
Speaker 3: not really in the right place where you want to
3:59
Speaker 3: be with your mind and you're not moving forward. Have
4:02
Speaker 3: you ever done that roller coaster I call the roller coaster? Right,
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Speaker 3: We're feeling really good when we get our paycheck in,
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Speaker 3: or when we get a bonus or a great commission,
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Speaker 3: or if we own a company or our company is
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Speaker 3: doing really really well, and then we pay all the bills,
4:15
Speaker 3: we plan our trips, and then we're down at the
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Speaker 3: bottom again, and then we're like feeling bad about ourselves
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Speaker 3: and then we're feeling not enough or how am I
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Speaker 3: going to get out of this? Or what's next? Then
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Speaker 3: something comes up, Then a check might come in, somebody
4:30
Speaker 3: might do something really fun for you, and you steel
4:33
Speaker 3: again at the top of the roller coaster, and then
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Speaker 3: we fall down again. If you can relate to this.
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Speaker 3: You're not alone. You might even be feeling like, Hey,
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Speaker 3: I make really good money. Why in the heck do
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Speaker 3: I always feel broken? Or why do I feel like
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Speaker 3: the money is tight? Why do I feel like I
4:48
Speaker 3: don't have the freedom? Which is what we all want,
4:51
Speaker 3: right the F word another F word freedom. We want
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Speaker 3: that financial freedom feeling, even if we don't have it
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Speaker 3: in the bank yet. So why do I feel stressed
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Speaker 3: every time I look at my bank accounts? And why
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Speaker 3: does it matter what I do, where I go, what happens.
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Speaker 3: I feel like I just can't get ahead. What most
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Speaker 3: people do at that point is they assume its strategy. Women,
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Speaker 3: we assume it's our fault and we screwed up, we
5:19
Speaker 3: screwed something up, we don't know enough, we didn't learn enough,
5:23
Speaker 3: we trusted the wrong people. It could be absolutely any
5:27
Speaker 3: of those feelings, right, but women normally take it upon
5:30
Speaker 3: ourselves and we feel really bad about what's happening, and
5:35
Speaker 3: we make it our fault, so that that's a another
5:39
Speaker 3: hole we have to climb out of before we even
5:41
Speaker 3: get to the next step. So they think, maybe we
5:45
Speaker 3: need a better financial plan, We need to invest our
5:48
Speaker 3: money differently, we need to always cook bath more. Stop
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Speaker 3: spending money. That's the first thing we all do, is
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Speaker 3: stop spending money. Now, I'm going to see what if
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Speaker 3: it's not even a strategy issue at all, What happens
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Speaker 3: if that's not the problem. What happens if it's something
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Speaker 3: completely different that you're not even aware of. I will
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Speaker 3: say that when we do go back to cutting money back.
6:14
Speaker 3: I want to tell you a little story because I
6:16
Speaker 3: just did this. I have pest control at my house
6:18
Speaker 3: and I have the really clean one, the good thing
6:21
Speaker 3: the environment, and I wasn't sure if it would work,
6:23
Speaker 3: but it's been going on for almost a year and
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Speaker 3: it's been great. I don't have any creepy crawlers, I
6:28
Speaker 3: don't have any rodents. I'm in a brand new housing.
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Speaker 3: So you know, when you do the you know, excavate
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Speaker 3: the earth and all of that, there's sometimes a lot
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Speaker 3: of craziness that goes on after that. I have had
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Speaker 3: a great almost one year with this, with this pest
6:44
Speaker 3: control company. But I wasn't sure if I still needed
6:47
Speaker 3: to be doing it, because I know I needed it
6:49
Speaker 3: right after all the construction. So I called him and said,
6:51
Speaker 3: you know, I think I'm just going to hold off
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Speaker 3: for a little while. I'm not going to renew my contract,
6:55
Speaker 3: and so that they made me call in the company,
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Speaker 3: you know, all the sales tactics. So I was paying
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Speaker 3: sixty five dollars a month. So all said and done,
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Speaker 3: they cut me down to thirty five dollars a month
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Speaker 3: if I were to stay. Oh, I'm like, okay, let's
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Speaker 3: just stay a little bit longer. That's a great deal.
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Speaker 3: Mama loves a bargain. I am frugal, as I'll get
7:17
Speaker 3: out another F word is my frugal. I love it.
7:20
Speaker 3: And so I felt really good about that, and it
7:22
Speaker 3: was a good business ploy and they're really good and
7:24
Speaker 3: they made a mistakes a couple of times, but then
7:26
Speaker 3: they came out and fixed it. So I thought that
7:28
Speaker 3: was really good. So it's not always strategy, however, looking
7:33
Speaker 3: at where our dimes are going. We need to look
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Speaker 3: at where dimes and our dollars are going and see
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Speaker 3: if we can get better deals out there. Okay, that
7:39
Speaker 3: was just a little side pivot story. Okay, So what
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Speaker 3: happens if it's not the strategies at all? Here's a
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Speaker 3: new concept for you. What if the reason you feel
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Speaker 3: stuck with money? More's how more is more how to do.
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Speaker 3: How you feel about money? My wonderful A fword. Money
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Speaker 3: is emotional, It absolutely is. It's tied to security, right,
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Speaker 3: It's tied to how secure I feel in the world.
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Speaker 3: It's tied to freedom and I go and do and
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Speaker 3: eat and shop. I just went grocery shopping this morning.
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Speaker 3: My goodness, the prices are crazy right now. I feel
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Speaker 3: like every time I go it's ten or twenty dollars
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Speaker 3: more than it would have been just even a few
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Speaker 3: months ago. So the freedom to buy what I want.
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Speaker 3: I usually get a lot of organic that's more expensive.
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Speaker 3: Freedom to have good, healthy food. Control. I'm lose in
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Speaker 3: control over some of my money because I don't have control.
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Speaker 3: Oh I feel like I don't have control over it
8:40
Speaker 3: when I want to go buy all the organic and
8:41
Speaker 3: the prices have gone up, right, And money is tied
8:45
Speaker 3: to our self worth. I know it sounds crazy, but
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Speaker 3: I don't feel good about myself when I can't spend
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Speaker 3: the money that I want to spend. My daughter's getting
8:56
Speaker 3: married this year. We have a lot that just got
8:59
Speaker 3: back from a trip and we went to Dallas looking
9:02
Speaker 3: for dresses, and you know, mother of the bride dresses,
9:06
Speaker 3: they're crazy seven eight nine hundred dollars for mothers of
9:09
Speaker 3: the mother of the bride dresses? What happened to like
9:11
Speaker 3: a two to three hundred dollars evening gown? Right? Like,
9:14
Speaker 3: the prices are crazy. I think you attach bride or
9:18
Speaker 3: wedding to it and they just jack up the prices.
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Speaker 3: Crazy again miss f word here, frugal. I like frugal, right,
9:25
Speaker 3: so take it makes me feel bad, I should say
9:29
Speaker 3: it doesn't make okay, I feel bad. Let's get our
9:32
Speaker 3: words straight because that helps. Right. I feel bad when
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Speaker 3: I can't have the freedom to just do what I
9:37
Speaker 3: want to do with my money and buy what I
9:40
Speaker 3: want to buy and go where I want to go.
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Speaker 3: And it feels really good when I can. Like, we
9:45
Speaker 3: we were going to drive because the prices of the
9:48
Speaker 3: airline tickets went up to like eight hundred dollars instead
9:51
Speaker 3: of like four three or four. So we were planning
9:54
Speaker 3: this big fifteen hour drive and all this craziness, and
9:57
Speaker 3: then thank god, my daughter looked and saw the prices
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Speaker 3: came back down. So we're like, yes, we got the
10:02
Speaker 3: freedom to fly and to travel to a couple cut
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Speaker 3: a couple days off of our trip, make it quicker.
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Speaker 3: More more succinct, get what we want to get done
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Speaker 3: and have a good time in the process. So money
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Speaker 3: definitely brings freedom and self worth. Now we can fly.
10:18
Speaker 3: We had a good time. We ubered here, we ubered there,
10:21
Speaker 3: We went to all the different places. It was a hustle,
10:23
Speaker 3: hustle time. We had a really great time. Then we
10:25
Speaker 3: went to dinner, had a martini. It was so fun.
10:29
Speaker 3: All of that is freedom, right, It's a really good time.
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Speaker 3: So money is emotional. Every day it is emotional. We
10:38
Speaker 3: have to realize this is the number one thing we
10:40
Speaker 3: need to know about money. It is before what is
10:43
Speaker 3: a stock? What is a bond? What is an ETF?
10:45
Speaker 3: What is a mutual fund? What is an interest rate?
10:48
Speaker 3: What is deferred interest? What is a four to one ka?
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Speaker 3: It's before all of that money is emotional. And you
10:55
Speaker 3: I'm talking to you have a relationship to money. I
10:59
Speaker 3: have a really relationship to money. We form our relationship
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Speaker 3: to money early in childhood. So I work with people
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Speaker 3: every day around their finances over decades, right years and
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Speaker 3: years and thousands of people, and two people can have
11:14
Speaker 3: the exact same income and the exact same financial situation,
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Speaker 3: but one could feel completely stressed out, overwhelmed, behind the times,
11:25
Speaker 3: feeling left out, and the other one can feel completely calm, clear,
11:30
Speaker 3: in control, know what their next step is, know that
11:34
Speaker 3: they're going to be just fine. The universes got their back.
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Speaker 3: It's the exact same numbers and the exact same bank account,
11:43
Speaker 3: exact same investments, everything, but it's a completely different experience.
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Speaker 3: That's how I can tell you. It is around our
11:51
Speaker 3: emotions and how we feel. So what are they doing?
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Speaker 3: What are they not doing? This is what it is.
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Speaker 3: It's how they think and how they feel about it.
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Speaker 3: Feel like I'm behind let's call this let's call this
12:04
Speaker 3: client A feels behind the times. It's not enough. They
12:09
Speaker 3: need to fix it. What can they do? So they'll
12:11
Speaker 3: call me. They'll say, Okay, feelings so stressed. I need
12:15
Speaker 3: to fix what's going on right now? Give me my
12:18
Speaker 3: next steps and what's happening? What do I need to
12:21
Speaker 3: do next to make this better? They're in stress and
12:24
Speaker 3: they're not making good financial decisions from here. This is
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Speaker 3: a problem when you feel stressed around any problem at all.
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Speaker 3: We cannot fix the problem from this stressed position. We
12:38
Speaker 3: cannot fix the problem where we created the problem. We
12:42
Speaker 3: have to have a completely different mindset in order to
12:45
Speaker 3: solve the problem. I hope you agree with that, because
12:48
Speaker 3: everything is revolved around that. So when you react from
12:53
Speaker 3: stress or you might even avoid it, I'm gonna put
12:56
Speaker 3: it away. I'm never gonna look at it again. I'm
12:57
Speaker 3: not gonna answer it. You might even leave friendship if
13:01
Speaker 3: they talk about money too much and you feel too
13:03
Speaker 3: to avoidant from money and you feel too stressed out
13:06
Speaker 3: of it. You might drop some friends that want to
13:08
Speaker 3: go here and there and you can't afford it. You
13:10
Speaker 3: might feel so tight and constricted in your chest and
13:14
Speaker 3: your stomach. Sometimes you feel nothing at all and you
13:18
Speaker 3: just go lip and it's like, Hugh, I just cannot
13:22
Speaker 3: even think of one more thing that has to do
13:24
Speaker 3: with money, right, So you could be feeling very resistant
13:28
Speaker 3: no matter what. This is a low level of energy
13:31
Speaker 3: around money. It doesn't feel good. That's what most people
13:36
Speaker 3: feel like, pressured, and it keeps you in the same
13:39
Speaker 3: cycle when you're making when you're trying to solve the
13:42
Speaker 3: problem from that state, it will keep you in that state.
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Speaker 3: So we're going to reframe this. Okay, you ready, Boom boom,
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Speaker 3: We're going to change this completely. We're going to create
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Speaker 3: the solving the problem from clarity, from calmness, from a
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Speaker 3: sense of enough, from a sense of like client B,
14:04
Speaker 3: who has the thought that the universe has got my back,
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Speaker 3: I'm clear, I'm calm, I'm relaxed. So we are going
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Speaker 3: to make some practical shifts with money. What do I
14:15
Speaker 3: need to do differently with my money now? Instead of
14:18
Speaker 3: Instead of that, I want you to ask, how am
14:22
Speaker 3: I feeling about my money right now? Without judgment, no fixing,
14:27
Speaker 3: just awareness. How do I feel right now? Yep, get
14:31
Speaker 3: out your money journal, pen and paper. We need to
14:34
Speaker 3: write this good stuff down. We want to know how
14:37
Speaker 3: we feel.
14:37
Speaker 2: Now.
14:38
Speaker 3: Here's a simple tool before you look at any of
14:41
Speaker 3: your accounts. I call it your money date when you
14:44
Speaker 3: sit Before you sit down and do your thirty minute
14:46
Speaker 3: money date weekly, before you look at your accounts and
14:48
Speaker 3: make any decisions, I want you to pauw. We're going
14:52
Speaker 3: to relax. We're going to say, am I making these
14:55
Speaker 3: decisions from pressure? Or am I coming from clarity? Okay,
14:59
Speaker 3: We're going to look at that one question alone and
15:02
Speaker 3: look at the outcome before you do anything. We're going
15:05
Speaker 3: to ground this. At the end of the day, It's
15:08
Speaker 3: about how we feel about the money, and how do
15:11
Speaker 3: we want to feel in our life. So we're going
15:14
Speaker 3: to want to feel obviously clear clarity. I call it
15:17
Speaker 3: the diamond life. Three c's. Our clarity equals control, which
15:23
Speaker 3: will create our confidence, our three c's. When we have
15:26
Speaker 3: those three c's, we can live our diamond life. Our
15:29
Speaker 3: diamond life is just financial freedom, feeling spectacular around money.
15:34
Speaker 3: So how do we do that? We are going to
15:38
Speaker 3: ask our question, where are we feeling right now? What
15:41
Speaker 3: do we feel about money? We're going to write it down.
15:44
Speaker 3: We might even want to write down reasonings on why
15:47
Speaker 3: we think the way we're feeling. We might want to
15:49
Speaker 3: write a letter to money. We might want to write
15:51
Speaker 3: a letter to about our relationship with money. We need
15:54
Speaker 3: to get it out of our body. We want to
15:56
Speaker 3: step into calmness now. A little bit later, we're going
16:00
Speaker 3: to talk about the diamond reset, our diamond reset, which
16:04
Speaker 3: is take a breath. Everybody take a breath with me
16:07
Speaker 3: right now. Ah, We're going to breathe take a breath,
16:12
Speaker 3: box breathing three or four times, take a breath, sip back, relax.
16:16
Speaker 3: I call this my princess mode. I'm literally going to
16:18
Speaker 3: sit back, bring my shoulders up, and down, take some
16:22
Speaker 3: deep breath, relax. I want to put myself into something
16:26
Speaker 3: that makes me happy. It's not about the money, It's
16:30
Speaker 3: not about the clarity and the confidence. Right now, I
16:32
Speaker 3: want to step away from that stressful feeling and I
16:35
Speaker 3: want to get into what am I feeling right now?
16:38
Speaker 3: If I can't get out of that money rat race
16:41
Speaker 3: cycle thinking, I want to think about something completely different,
16:45
Speaker 3: like my hot tub. I took a hot tub this morning.
16:48
Speaker 3: It felt so amazing. The weather for me today is perfect.
16:52
Speaker 3: I love it. It stayed live fifties at night, so
16:56
Speaker 3: it cooled off at night, and then when I woke
16:58
Speaker 3: up it was in its sixties. I can take a
17:00
Speaker 3: nice walk, I could take a hot dub. I could
17:02
Speaker 3: even play pickleball without sweating. Like It's an amazing day.
17:06
Speaker 3: So let's see how I just shifted that from money
17:09
Speaker 3: all the way to something that feels good. This is
17:11
Speaker 3: where I'm going to solve my issue from this feeling
17:14
Speaker 3: of clarity and joy and happiness. Now, this is where
17:18
Speaker 3: I can say, Okay, what is my next best step
17:22
Speaker 3: with my money, which would always be have our money date,
17:25
Speaker 3: but look at our money. My next step might just
17:28
Speaker 3: be let me change my spreadsheet to my favorite colors
17:32
Speaker 3: income purple, orange, and blue green, whatever you want to
17:36
Speaker 3: do it, Let's make it all really fun for me
17:39
Speaker 3: to look at. That's it. Just our next step and
17:43
Speaker 3: maybe just downloading all of my accounts and being proud
17:47
Speaker 3: that I have a lot of different money accounts and
17:49
Speaker 3: maybe some old four to one ks and some old
17:53
Speaker 3: roth I rays or something. Just pull them all together
17:55
Speaker 3: and download them or print them and put them in
17:58
Speaker 3: my money journal. That's it. That's all we have to do.
18:01
Speaker 3: We want to keep checking in how do I feel?
18:05
Speaker 3: Am I feeling okay about this? Next step? That's wonderful.
18:09
Speaker 3: The next step might be calling your financial advisor. But
18:12
Speaker 3: we don't want to be calling our financial advisor from
18:14
Speaker 3: stress and overwhelm and be bitchy on the phone and
18:17
Speaker 3: be complaining and whiny and stressed out. We want to
18:20
Speaker 3: be okay. What's our next step? My next step is
18:23
Speaker 3: I need to know if my plan is still working
18:25
Speaker 3: in place? Am I okay? Or what could be my
18:29
Speaker 3: next step to get me into a better place with
18:31
Speaker 3: my money? It could be any of those things, right,
18:35
Speaker 3: there's nothing wrong with you. I want you to know
18:37
Speaker 3: when we're feeling stressed and overwhelmed. There's absolutely nothing wrong
18:40
Speaker 3: with you. You're not failing. I promise. First of all, you're
18:43
Speaker 3: listening to this badass podcast that means you care about
18:46
Speaker 3: your money, you care about your feelings. You're not failing.
18:49
Speaker 3: You're just operating from an old pattern. You're operating from
18:54
Speaker 3: old things that came up to keep us safe in
18:56
Speaker 3: maybe childhood. Those aren't working anymore. Y'all our own ass adults,
19:01
Speaker 3: and we want our financial freedom. We want to live
19:03
Speaker 3: our diamond life. We want all this to be amazing.
19:06
Speaker 3: So we're going to shift some patterns. So how do
19:10
Speaker 3: we feel? That's it? I wonder how you feel. We're
19:13
Speaker 3: going to get our next best step from the place
19:16
Speaker 3: of solving, not from the place of scarcity or stress.
19:20
Speaker 3: I don't care what you gotta do to get yourself
19:23
Speaker 3: out of that stress. Go have sects that works. That's
19:26
Speaker 3: totally fine. Go for a run around the block, do
19:28
Speaker 3: twenty jumping jacks. I would tell my son, do twenty
19:31
Speaker 3: jumping jacks real quick. It changes your state. We want
19:34
Speaker 3: to change our state from that stress and overwhelm to
19:36
Speaker 3: anything that feels better. Look at your one hundred things
19:40
Speaker 3: that you love that I had you write down one
19:42
Speaker 3: hundred things that you love. Look at your lists that
19:44
Speaker 3: you love. That's going to get you into something great.
19:47
Speaker 3: Go have sunshine on your face, take a hot shower,
19:50
Speaker 3: take a nap, take a nap, change it all that
19:53
Speaker 3: will absolutely do it. Then we're going to come back
19:56
Speaker 3: and be able to say, Okay, what's my next best
19:59
Speaker 3: step to making sure that I'm feeling better about my money.
20:02
Speaker 3: That's it. I want us all to be able to
20:05
Speaker 3: just do the next best step, and I want you
20:07
Speaker 3: to be able to walk away from this series. Now.
20:10
Speaker 3: This is episode one. You got a bunch more episodes
20:12
Speaker 3: in here because I want you to be able to say,
20:15
Speaker 3: I rock my finances. See you all back.
20:18
Speaker 2: We appreciate you joining us today, and don't forget to
20:21
Speaker 2: subscribe to the rock my Finances YouTube channel for more
20:25
Speaker 2: engagement and bonus content. Tell me what is your money story?
20:29
Speaker 2: Let's find out with Jennifer right here on K four
20:32
Speaker 2: HD Radio and Talk for TV. It's not about the zero,
20:36
Speaker 2: It's about the F word, feelings, feelings. Jennifer can't wait
20:41
Speaker 2: to explore with you next week. Until then, let's all
20:44
Speaker 2: say I rock my Finances.