Latest / None of Your Business Podcast / One Person’s Love Can Change Your Life | Sony Perlman

Transcript

One Person’s Love Can Change Your Life | Sony Perlman · None of Your Business Podcast

• 0:01
  You know the rule of hugs. What's the rule?
• 0:03
  The rule of hugs that I learned from someone a long time ago is
• 0:05
  when you're hugging someone meaningful to you, always be the
• 0:08
  last one to let go. Oh God I I love that rule until
• 0:11
  you get the long huggers are we live.
• 0:14
  We're always live. We're always live.
• 0:17
  I found out a new a new way to know you're not doing so great
• 0:22
  when your kids call you and like they, they like, like say we
• 0:25
  support you, like when your kids start acting nice to you, like,
• 0:28
  oh God, I must be doing terrible.
• 0:31
  When do you recently, when do you see success in your own
• 0:36
  kids? Like when do you see it?
• 0:38
  How do you feel as a parent? You know what, I'm successful.
• 0:42
  I've I've raised some good kids and I'm proud of them, happy
• 0:45
  with them. I think I did a good job At at
• 0:47
  what point in your life? You turn them out personally or.
• 0:50
  From the world. No, no, no.
• 0:51
  Personally, when do you look? Yeah.
• 0:53
  When do you look at your family and say I did a good job and I'm
• 0:56
  proud of them and I'm happy? When does that come up?
• 0:58
  The truth is, is there's a, there's a couple of answers
• 1:03
  this, but I think it's literally every day.
• 1:06
  Like I don't, I don't have this like grand scheme of like what
• 1:12
  my plans are for my kids. And I think that I don't know if
• 1:15
  that was a mistake or not, but it was.
• 1:16
  I really only have one thing that I would be disappointed if
• 1:19
  my kids did this. And that would be if they're
• 1:22
  unkind. Like if, if my kids were like
• 1:25
  not nice people, I, I still love them, but I would have a real
• 1:29
  hard time with that. But there's, I can't think of
• 1:32
  one other thing that would be like, OK, they chose a different
• 1:34
  life path or like, I don't think I have any like real serious
• 1:37
  plans for them because it's their life.
• 1:40
  They got to do their life. So every single day I see these
• 1:44
  wonderful, delightful, friendly, loving.
• 1:47
  They, they're crazy about each other.
• 1:51
  Like I, I'm sure I am excited about, you know, when they hit
• 1:56
  new milestones and you know, and Chavez going to Graduate School
• 2:01
  and being he's got a business and they're doing cool stuff,
• 2:04
  but I think I just feel yummy just knowing that they're
• 2:08
  awesome. So I don't, I, I, maybe I'm
• 2:11
  going to be, I have no kids married.
• 2:13
  So it could be that when they get married, I'll get really,
• 2:16
  really excited. I'm going to break into that in
• 2:18
  a second and we're going to, we're going to, I'm going to
• 2:20
  tell you a thought of mine and I want to.
• 2:22
  We think about that. I love that answer.
• 2:24
  Funny, I'm disappointed that yeah, Ellie said no.
• 2:27
  Oh. My gosh, I am won't come on
• 2:30
  mine. I'm disappointed that the woman
• 2:32
  that you speak about almost every podcast is not willing to
• 2:35
  come onto your podcast. I mean, it's, it's
• 2:37
  disappointing, especially because she's my freaking
• 2:39
  cousin. It's ridiculous.
• 2:40
  Yeah, I mean, Holly goes on her podcast every time she has a
• 2:43
  chance. I think they may be the
• 2:44
  opposite. Probably I.
• 2:46
  Think they? Like me and my twin brother, by
• 2:49
  the way, we're very opposite. Just the opposite.
• 2:51
  Yeah, we're very, but we complement each other
• 2:53
  tremendously, like a good partnership should.
• 2:54
  Yeah, well, yeah, they're there. I listen.
• 2:58
  I've been trying to get her. My whole goal in life with all
• 3:02
  the other things I do, is to tell people to love their
• 3:05
  spouse. Like, I really think it's
• 3:07
  important because that's the only thing I got over.
• 3:10
  I don't believe you're married. Anybody else?
• 3:12
  I don't believe you have a spouse you.
• 3:13
  Don't even believe I have a spouse.
• 3:14
  Nope, you never see her. You.
• 3:15
  Never see her, she's not coming on camera.
• 3:17
  Doesn't exist. Yeah, it's true.
• 3:18
  It's true. So I've been dying to get her to
• 3:21
  come on. I even had this whole plan that
• 3:23
  my 100th episode she'll be on with me no go.
• 3:27
  All right, Yeah, Ellie, we love you, and we can't wait for you
• 3:30
  to join the podcast one day. But she was invited.
• 3:32
  Yeah. She respectfully declined.
• 3:34
  And I understand why. There are some people that I.
• 3:36
  Want to tell you something? She may come on a podcast
• 3:38
  without me. There's no way I want her.
• 3:41
  Then ask her right now. Yeah, we'll, we'll ask her.
• 3:44
  We'll ask. Her for real.
• 3:46
  She might, I feel like, I feel like she doesn't like the hype.
• 3:51
  Like like I hyped it up like it was like.
• 3:55
  I lost the client this week, yeah, because I was too hype.
• 3:59
  You were too hype. Why was what was too hype?
• 4:01
  I'll tell you in a second, welcome back everybody to
• 4:04
  another growth oriented, amazing in depth episode.
• 4:08
  With me today is the venerable, like what she likes to say,
• 4:12
  Sonny Peruman, Sonny, AKA my ROV, my mentor, my leader, my
• 4:17
  guidance counselor, my friend, my backbone to my community in
• 4:21
  so many regards. We'll get into that.
• 4:24
  My person who has taught me about second chances and we're
• 4:27
  going to get into that as well. I'm so proud to call you a
• 4:30
  friend. So happy that you're here and
• 4:32
  let's let's go. Where'd we leave off?
• 4:34
  What were we talking about? What were we talking about?
• 4:36
  I don't remember. First of all, I will say that
• 4:38
  Cousins, everybody who has cousins, know that it doesn't
• 4:42
  matter how many away, if you're close to that person, they're
• 4:45
  your cousin. That's true.
• 4:46
  Isn't that true? That's true.
• 4:47
  Like you have an aunt and uncle that's not really your aunt to.
• 4:50
  Not really your aunt to uncle. I'm an uncle to many people,
• 4:53
  That's I'm a godfather to people.
• 4:55
  I call myself uncle. You know, Uncle Laser is here.
• 4:58
  My friend Laser comes to the house, He's Uncle Laser.
• 4:59
  Uncle Naftali comes. We have a lot of uncles.
• 5:01
  In our I have definitely argued in the past that the best role
• 5:04
  you could have in life is uncle or aunt.
• 5:07
  It is fantastic role you just get to love someone with like
• 5:13
  unbridled it doesn't matter. They're not your fault.
• 5:16
  You don't blame yourself, you're not responsible.
• 5:19
  Even grandparents like I did things wrong with my kids and
• 5:24
  then they're great. Like you feel a little
• 5:25
  responsible. Uncles and aunts is just pure
• 5:29
  joy and like I think people do not realize the power of uncles
• 5:34
  and aunts in kids lives like it is.
• 5:37
  I consider myself in my field a professional uncle.
• 5:41
  That's like if I had to put it down to a family role.
• 5:44
  Tell me how? Because I have people coming in
• 5:47
  who are struggling or going through all these things that
• 5:50
  are terrible and, and I have, there's nothing to blame.
• 5:54
  I didn't do it. I had nothing to do with it.
• 5:56
  All I see is this delicious yumminess Shama that just needs
• 6:00
  love and just, and you just see them and you, you talk to them
• 6:04
  for two minutes, you find out what's hurting them and you just
• 6:07
  want to like pick them up and swing them around in a
• 6:09
  helicopter ride and say you're, you're all right, you're
• 6:12
  delicious. Like that is that's the whole
• 6:14
  role of like a real helper. Like that's your role.
• 6:18
  I, it's if you get better or don't get better, I'm
• 6:21
  championing you. I'm, I'm here for you.
• 6:24
  Like a uncle is not bothered with a kid walking in without a
• 6:27
  Yamaha. Like, what's the big deal?
• 6:29
  There's nothing that doesn't mean anything to me, but a
• 6:31
  mother and a father they get, they got all these expectations.
• 6:34
  We were talking about like what it what is like knock us from
• 6:36
  your kids. What's knock us from your nephew
• 6:39
  or niece? Just being there.
• 6:41
  Like, holy cow, you're so big. That's what all uncles, you just
• 6:46
  grew like that's an accomplishment.
• 6:48
  You know, uncles and aunts, they always say that you're so big.
• 6:51
  Such a great point. What did I do?
• 6:52
  You did nothing. I just continued to live and I'm
• 6:55
  so happy. I got to be honest with you,
• 6:57
  like you, you know, we've been having like longer podcasts,
• 7:00
  like an hour, 45, two hours and some people saying they love it
• 7:03
  'cause they have long commute. Some people are like, you know,
• 7:05
  be better for an hour, an hour and a half.
• 7:07
  I'm ready to shut down the podcast for today.
• 7:09
  We're good. Act like an uncle to your
• 7:10
  children and the podcast is done.
• 7:12
  We can wrap up and make a 4 minute podcast.
• 7:14
  Is that amazing? Yeah, it's the best piece of
• 7:16
  advice I ever got in in, in terms of parenting and then
• 7:20
  mentorship and. Literally tell me this is over.
• 7:24
  What's that? I have a lot of other good
• 7:25
  things. All right, so let's continue.
• 7:28
  Let's go back to that though. I mean, I just.
• 7:31
  Did my first solo podcast this Saturday.
• 7:34
  Night, I saw you saw it. By the way, your numbers did
• 7:36
  better than any other. Podcast, any other podcast I
• 7:38
  saw? Well, no, I've done a couple
• 7:39
  better, but it was like. No, no, no.
• 7:41
  The initial 24 hours, this was one of your best.
• 7:44
  I've been tracking you. Tracking.
• 7:45
  Yeah, yeah. Well, it was it wasn't the IT
• 7:48
  was probably top then you. Want to know why in my opinion?
• 7:51
  Tell me people like to. Hear from you bro.
• 7:53
  Yeah, I agree. It's nice.
• 7:57
  And the truth is I got very vulnerable and it was very odd
• 8:00
  to talk to a camera without anybody else.
• 8:03
  But it was, it was awesome to do because I had to put myself out
• 8:08
  there and say what's going on? What was the most vulnerable
• 8:13
  thing you said in that 35 minute podcast?
• 8:18
  Help that me like I, I got on there ultimately and said, hat
• 8:25
  in hand, I, I'm, I'm, I'm on a mission to do all these things
• 8:32
  and I've been the giver my entire life.
• 8:34
  Like that's what I am. That's my role.
• 8:36
  And it's probably my defense system too.
• 8:37
  Like, OK, I'm the giver so no one could ever hurt me.
• 8:41
  Like there's probably something to that.
• 8:43
  There is something to that. And now I've been put in a, in a
• 8:47
  place in life where I need to turn to everybody and say I need
• 8:52
  your help to do what I got to do to to help the world.
• 8:55
  Now I recognize that is to do a good thing and it's not because
• 8:59
  I'm poor or because, you know, that would be even harder, but
• 9:02
  just the idea of saying please help me.
• 9:05
  It is so outside of my wheelhouse.
• 9:09
  I don't even know how to do it. Even if saying it now, like I
• 9:11
  feel like gulping, like I want to always be the helper.
• 9:16
  I never want to be the taker. And I was coming out and saying,
• 9:20
  listen, I need help. So that that is, I think that
• 9:25
  was the most vulnerable. The other thing I think was the
• 9:27
  most vulnerable is I shared a bit about about like how I
• 9:33
  understand helping by the fact that I was helped.
• 9:37
  Like I was able to share about I think I shared about my Rabbi,
• 9:40
  Rabbi price. Maybe I didn't.
• 9:43
  I'm not sure if I did, but I maybe I didn't, maybe I'm not
• 9:46
  remember. Funny, when you and I were 14
• 9:48
  years old, we're the same age, We hung out in the streets of
• 9:50
  Jerusalem. We spoke about this when you
• 9:52
  were a guest on the podcast last time, which is over a year ago,
• 9:55
  Right. You know, we used to hear hip,
• 9:57
  hip navae. And, you know, the fight between
• 9:59
  Navae and Nariakov broke out. Knives, brass knuckles, police,
• 10:03
  Russian compound, prison system was all a part of our life when
• 10:07
  we were fourteen. Yeah.
• 10:09
  Can you tell me how were you helped?
• 10:10
  I mean, I I don't. I didn't know you then.
• 10:12
  More than just hanging out on the streets.
• 10:14
  Right. So like and we weren't related
• 10:15
  yet we weren't. No, we did.
• 10:17
  We just. We weren't cuz we weren't, you
• 10:19
  know, we didn't call each other 'cause yet.
• 10:21
  But I, I'd love to know Someone Like You who's in the world of
• 10:23
  giving. First of all, I do want to tap
• 10:25
  into that and go back to that soon.
• 10:27
  There's a lot of givers in the world that have these
• 10:29
  constraints in their lives about not feeling appreciated or
• 10:33
  always wanting to please or over please.
• 10:35
  And that's a challenge. Then there's the idea of the
• 10:37
  givers who need to be the askers of the rabbanim in the world,
• 10:40
  people who are running synagogues and shules and
• 10:43
  foundations in the time of Germany, they would travel to
• 10:46
  America. Big holy Rob on him.
• 10:48
  Everyone had to do it. It's not that crazy.
• 10:50
  So for you to do it once in your life during this era, good luck.
• 10:53
  You're going to be fine. You'll raise the funds, God
• 10:55
  willing, with a lot of Ciat, the shaman.
• 10:56
  You'll have all the Muslim bracha you need.
• 10:57
  You're awesome. Everyone loves you and what
• 10:59
  you're doing in your mission. We'll talk about that soon also,
• 11:01
  but let's break that down the helping thing and we'll get.
• 11:04
  I, I will, I will say that I have a tremendous respect for
• 11:08
  those people, the givers that ask I, I, it blows my mind
• 11:12
  because it's hard. It blows my mind.
• 11:13
  It's hard, but let's get into when you were 1414.
• 11:16
  Let's let's remind everybody first of all, because for all
• 11:20
  our new listeners, we've increased their, you know,
• 11:23
  listeners since the last time we spoke and we have a lot of new
• 11:25
  people that may not know you and don't know our background.
• 11:28
  So. Check me out on Brainstorm,
• 11:31
  Brainstorm or Sonny podcast. Sonny has a great podcast and
• 11:34
  you're all about mental health and giving back to the community
• 11:37
  from the men's world. Any man, any young adolescent,
• 11:41
  someone who's 14151617 is when they start calling Sonny 14 is
• 11:46
  when the parents start calling Sonny and you refer them to
• 11:48
  other people. 18/19/20 and above is when you really kick in and
• 11:52
  you're like, oh, you're an addict, you have challenges, you
• 11:54
  need a place to stay. You're post rehab, you don't
• 11:56
  want to go back to rehab. That's who you are.
• 11:58
  You're the king of that. I don't need ChatGPT to tell me
• 12:00
  that I don't. You know what?
• 12:01
  Need any any other introductions or accolades Better than the
• 12:04
  fact that I can tell you and if people trust me, and I hope they
• 12:07
  do by now, you are the go to person, the 411 for anything
• 12:15
  that's dealing with men and addicts.
• 12:18
  Well, we are. We open a woman's house.
• 12:21
  I'd love to hear about. It but I'm not I I I still don't
• 12:23
  work with the women that's. OK, It's like, you know.
• 12:25
  Beautiful that. That's not your wheelhouse.
• 12:27
  Your wheelhouse is understanding men.
• 12:28
  We'll get Alex on the podcast another time and talk about, you
• 12:31
  know, how he deals with women and so on.
• 12:33
  But your, your wheelhouse is men.
• 12:34
  And I love that about you and how you've dedicated your life
• 12:37
  to it. You, your hours started at
• 12:39
  midnight for over 2 decades running our place in Brooklyn
• 12:43
  and being the leader of that person and dealing with teens at
• 12:47
  risk for over 20 years. You understand the, the, the
• 12:50
  this. You're an industry expert.
• 12:52
  I'm awesome. It's embarrassing bro how much
• 12:56
  you want to do this? You know what, if you know
• 12:58
  whatever you're good at, I will scream out loud because I want
• 13:01
  the world to know. You taught me a couple of things
• 13:03
  in life. One of the most important things
• 13:06
  you taught me, I'm going to say here and we'll jump right back
• 13:08
  to you. If you're dealing with an
• 13:11
  emergency, call 911. Other than that, I got you.
• 13:16
  What do you need? Let's talk.
• 13:18
  You taught me that. Yeah, that's a very important
• 13:20
  lesson that took me hit probably 2 decades to figure out if it,
• 13:25
  If you deal with it like it's a crisis, you will make a lot of
• 13:28
  mistakes. If it's an emergency, you got to
• 13:31
  get to the hospital, fine. But if you want to know how to
• 13:34
  deal with something, you got to spend some time and realize it
• 13:38
  took years to get here. It may take years to get out of
• 13:41
  here. And you got to see it with Saif
• 13:43
  and Smart the same way you do a business.
• 13:45
  If you're making everything an emergency decision, you're going
• 13:48
  to mess up over and over and over again.
• 13:50
  So that's, that's, that's a lesson that I learned and I'm
• 13:53
  glad you learned it from me. But I'm saying I learned that
• 13:55
  the hard way by overreacting that crazy situations, thinking
• 14:00
  it's a crisis, thinking it's and it it almost never was.
• 14:03
  Give me an example. Take me back.
• 14:05
  You know the Perlmans grew up in Far Rockaway on Beach, 9th St.
• 14:08
  All of you guys are like therapists or giving in the
• 14:10
  world of the community. You have an amazing family.
• 14:13
  I'm so proud of each and everyone of you, such amazing
• 14:16
  people like you know, all your brothers and your sisters and
• 14:19
  your, your, the whole family, it's everybody.
• 14:21
  It's amazing. I was roommates with Ellie and I
• 14:23
  know personally the rest of them and unbelievable people.
• 14:26
  You're all dealing with the world of therapy and and getting
• 14:28
  help in this world. So with mental health and
• 14:31
  challenges. So let's go take me back to who
• 14:34
  you are. What were the challenges that
• 14:35
  you needed? What was the help that you
• 14:36
  needed? What did you go through?
• 14:38
  Take me, break it down for me, the lessons of where you learned
• 14:41
  this 911 rule from. How did you learn it yourself?
• 14:46
  What did you go through that? What are the mistakes that you
• 14:48
  made? What were the anxieties that you
• 14:50
  experienced that brought you to where you are now?
• 14:52
  What can we learn from it as parents, as siblings, as
• 14:56
  fathers, as mothers, as brothers, as uncles and aunts?
• 14:59
  Right, well, the truth is nothing's made in a a vacuum.
• 15:05
  If you if we all became therapists is probably a reason.
• 15:09
  I will say that we grew up in a home where it was very mission
• 15:14
  oriented. Like if you weren't changing the
• 15:17
  world, like, you know, check out, like we, we this, we, there
• 15:22
  was a lot, maybe it wasn't good, but there's a lot of like
• 15:24
  rolling eyes, all that guys doing nothing.
• 15:26
  Like what are you? Like, what are you really doing
• 15:28
  to to change this world? It was very palpable in our
• 15:33
  house. Where'd that come from?
• 15:34
  My mother, it was my my mother was a therapist.
• 15:38
  She she actually, if it's, I think, the first program working
• 15:43
  with teens at risk in the Jewish community, my mother was part of
• 15:49
  it. Get out of town, Yeah.
• 15:50
  Or is that even? Project Rejuvenation was a
• 15:53
  program with Rabbi Yakov Shapiro from Bayswater and my mother
• 16:00
  open this like I don't know exactly what they did, but they
• 16:04
  were working with the teens on the street.
• 16:06
  This is 15 years before our place. 70s.
• 16:11
  Not seventies 80s. Our place open in ninety 80s
• 16:15
  early in the 80s when I was a kid, right, we were kids.
• 16:18
  Every night I get we would get phone calls from Yakush.
• 16:21
  There was no cell phone, so it's like we'd have to call my
• 16:23
  mother, Rabbi Shapiro's on the phone.
• 16:27
  So that's you remember every this is my way.
• 16:33
  I used to describe if you're, if you're Generation XI, just want
• 16:35
  to say this, this is what your house sounded like when you were
• 16:39
  a kid. I got it.
• 16:42
  That's the whole isn't that amazing?
• 16:45
  That's it up. I got it.
• 16:46
  Nobody today, kids today, will not know what that means, right
• 16:53
  you every they. Don't know what hustling means
• 16:55
  the way we know, but we also spoiled them.
• 16:57
  It's another. But they don't know that that
• 16:59
  means you have to hang up your phone in the other room.
• 17:02
  So I'm hearing all your noise. Yeah, like I got it anyway.
• 17:06
  Anyway, that's my. But we grew up.
• 17:10
  That was the mission. My house was filled with people
• 17:13
  that were struggling. Everybody was struggling was in
• 17:16
  my house. They moved in.
• 17:18
  This was like we were running the first hour place before our
• 17:20
  place existed. That was what happened, you
• 17:22
  know. And so that was the mission.
• 17:25
  We would, that was that was what was expected of us.
• 17:29
  So we all went into the helping field.
• 17:32
  That was that that's, you know, like when you raise your kid
• 17:35
  saying like the most important thing in the world is domining.
• 17:37
  Like you get kids who like domining, you know, the most.
• 17:40
  For us, it was about helping the world.
• 17:42
  Like you had to help the world on top of that for myself.
• 17:46
  So that's the overall, like that was the overall.
• 17:49
  But the, you know, myself, I was a very, very miserable child.
• 17:54
  Like I was really, really, really sad.
• 17:57
  And do you see the Mishbacha article?
• 18:00
  No, there's a Mishbacha. Article about me this week.
• 18:02
  You missed it. I'm sorry bro, I don't read the
• 18:05
  mishbacha. I.
• 18:06
  Don't read the Army. I will tell you the.
• 18:08
  Fact that you're saying it, not being embarrassed.
• 18:09
  I'm proud of you. Is that great?
• 18:11
  Check out the Mishbacha. Good for you, you made it in
• 18:15
  life. Flex bro, I got on the Mishbacha
• 18:18
  magazine OK so I did not read it 'cause I'm too embarrassed, but
• 18:23
  the marketing team told me I have to be Amish.
• 18:25
  But what was it about? Tell me.
• 18:27
  No, so I was saying is one of the things that really.
• 18:30
  How many magazines did you sell? We sell a lot of magazines.
• 18:36
  What I was saying is. No, good for you, I'm saying.
• 18:38
  They only. Take top ten.
• 18:40
  Sorry, go ahead. The only reason I OK, OK make
• 18:43
  fun of me the the reason I've go I've been go with teens all
• 18:48
  these years is because I always assume that all teens are
• 18:51
  absolutely miserable. What were you miserable about?
• 18:54
  What was? Happening I was miserable when I
• 18:56
  grew up in divorce family I had all these issues in school.
• 18:58
  I got kicked out of every school when?
• 19:00
  You say miserable though. What are you thinking about?
• 19:03
  I I believed that I was just like, I was too much for the
• 19:09
  world. I I, how do I explain it the
• 19:11
  best? It's really hard.
• 19:12
  I I just thought there was no reason to live when I was a kid.
• 19:16
  Like I just were you bullied with something going?
• 19:18
  On No you couldn't bullied. Did you have anger issues?
• 19:21
  A ton of anger. OK, I was angry.
• 19:24
  I was fighting. I what?
• 19:27
  Were you mad at? If you could tap into it for a
• 19:29
  second, what were you mad at? I mean, when I really go over
• 19:32
  it, like from now, looking back then, I didn't know why, but my
• 19:36
  parents were divorced. It was I felt unloved, uncared
• 19:40
  about. I felt lost in this world.
• 19:43
  I went to school. I felt smarter than everybody.
• 19:46
  But the whole place, the whole place, I didn't belong every
• 19:50
  single day of my life. I did not belong in school.
• 19:52
  The first two weeks of of every semester, semester, the
• 19:56
  beginning of the year. I was like, this year I'm going
• 19:58
  to be good. First two weeks I would read
• 20:01
  every textbook we had. I would read the math book.
• 20:04
  I would read the history book and like I love it.
• 20:07
  I and I would read all my siblings books and I and and all
• 20:11
  the suggested reading. I would read everything and then
• 20:13
  two weeks in, I'm like, why don't what are we doing in
• 20:15
  school? Like I didn't.
• 20:17
  I absolutely despise being there, people telling me what to
• 20:20
  do like never made any sense to me.
• 20:22
  You didn't like authority? I couldn't handle.
• 20:24
  Authority at all? OK, did you did?
• 20:26
  Did you know if anyone else was miserable around you or you fell
• 20:29
  alone? If you want to tap back into it
• 20:31
  a second. If I'm tagging back into it, I
• 20:33
  had no idea. Father, you were in your own
• 20:35
  world. When I got older, I assumed that
• 20:37
  every teenager, because teenage was the worst and I was really,
• 20:42
  really lost and really lost and no connection to God and no
• 20:45
  connection to anything and religion.
• 20:47
  I couldn't connect to anything. So I had nothing.
• 20:51
  And then I, that's what I tap into people when I talked on as
• 20:55
  teenagers and when, when I start working with teenagers, I just
• 20:59
  looked, what is it that's really hurting in this person?
• 21:02
  And everybody thought teenagers are having a good time, they're
• 21:05
  going out, they're doing drugs and alcohol, which I was doing
• 21:07
  all that stuff, but it wasn't making me happy at all.
• 21:10
  I was living in a world where I wanted to be an adult and I was
• 21:13
  stuck being a kid and I wanted to just have a family and start
• 21:17
  my life. And I was just stuck.
• 21:19
  The world did not let me move forward and now that I'm an
• 21:22
  adult, I I do love it. Of course, let's go back to.
• 21:25
  That I do love it. How long did that last for?
• 21:28
  So when was your realization? So you wanted to know what it
• 21:31
  was that made the change a little bit?
• 21:33
  Please. Yeah.
• 21:33
  I also wanted to know exactly what made you miserable, and you
• 21:36
  did a good job describing it, but you didn't go too deep.
• 21:38
  I want you to go a little. Deep I want to go.
• 21:40
  Deeper. Yeah, because like, you know, go
• 21:42
  back. I want to be that teenager right
• 21:44
  now and if. You really go, yeah, I, I, I
• 21:46
  it's you talk about getting vulnerable.
• 21:50
  I have believed since I was born and I, and it's something I
• 21:53
  still struggle with today, that the only way to get love is to
• 21:57
  earn it. And I'd never really believed
• 22:01
  that I was loved just for who I was.
• 22:04
  So when I have the whole mission and realizing people are
• 22:08
  struggling with addiction, I know it's coming from a deep,
• 22:11
  deep sense of unworthiness. That's my wheelhouse.
• 22:14
  That's who I am my whole life. That has been my challenge and
• 22:19
  my whole life I've been entertaining the world and
• 22:22
  impressing the world with all the awesome things I do.
• 22:25
  But behind it all, if you take away all the Sadiq stuff in the
• 22:30
  Mishmaka magazine, you could take that all away.
• 22:34
  I'm trying to make the world love me in a desperate,
• 22:37
  desperate way. That is, That is the unhealthy
• 22:41
  part of what I do. So that is how I grew up.
• 22:44
  I always believed that if I I could entertain you or I could
• 22:48
  impress you enough that you'll love me, but it was never that I
• 22:51
  am worthy of love for just being me like.
• 22:54
  What I'm saying, thank you for sharing that with me.
• 22:56
  I really appreciate it. I'm let's go into the
• 22:58
  vulnerability of the transition. When you recognize that how it
• 23:01
  transferred into the reality of your growth at what age, what
• 23:05
  happened? Was it a person?
• 23:07
  Was it you? Was it a book?
• 23:08
  Take me through the transition Because believe it or not, I
• 23:11
  want teenagers to listen to this podcast.
• 23:14
  I want them to listen to it and say, you know what?
• 23:16
  Oh my God, you know, I want a 20 year old and I want a 50 year
• 23:18
  old to say I have the same feeling or I never broke through
• 23:21
  it. Help those people.
• 23:22
  The reason I would talk about this, I'll just tell you it's
• 23:27
  uncomfortable to talk about my past.
• 23:29
  It's weird and a lot of people in my field are very into like
• 23:33
  sharing about their past. I'm not so comfortable with it,
• 23:36
  but I could tell you is that my entire philosophy was being
• 23:41
  built when I was a kid. It was not, it didn't show up
• 23:45
  because I went to Graduate School and I, I, yeah, that was
• 23:49
  how I honed it all. And that's how when I get all
• 23:51
  the professional degrees and all, but it was already being
• 23:54
  honed. Like if I really want to take
• 23:56
  one moment in time where my entire life changed like 1
• 24:01
  moment and I and, and this is what like my entire philosophy
• 24:05
  is built around, but I didn't know about it till a decade
• 24:07
  later, the moment of time is meeting my rabbi, Rabbi Price,
• 24:12
  who all of a sham passed away. Do you remember Rabbi Price from
• 24:15
  Nevada? And there was there was
• 24:20
  something odd in his eyes when I met him a couple times and it
• 24:24
  wasn't the first time. And then I realized that he was
• 24:27
  looking at me with total love. There was no expectations.
• 24:34
  He was just like, I would show up and he'd just be excited I'm
• 24:37
  there. And it took a while to figure
• 24:40
  out what the heck he's looking at.
• 24:42
  Like I didn't know he was looking at me.
• 24:45
  And there was a time I looked in his eyes and like was like, is
• 24:50
  it possible that I am just enough?
• 24:54
  Like I was able to see that in his eyes.
• 24:55
  That and that happened when I was 17 years old.
• 25:00
  And that was the beginning of the whole idea of that If we
• 25:05
  don't feel worthy, we'll never, we'll never heal.
• 25:09
  We'll just never heal. We'll always be fighting to feel
• 25:11
  worthy and figuring out ways to fill that amazing void.
• 25:16
  But he looked at me and I was able to see that.
• 25:20
  And I was like, if he could see it.
• 25:22
  And maybe there's a God who sees it and maybe there's other
• 25:25
  people who see it. Maybe there's something else.
• 25:29
  This is the man who that is the beginning of all change.
• 25:35
  It was someone else. And uncle, I'm going to say it
• 25:38
  another way. He was a Rebbe, but he saw me
• 25:40
  like an uncle. So if we go back to the foreman,
• 25:43
  in the beginning, he saw me like an uncle, just love.
• 25:47
  And he kept loving me. And I used to come when I was
• 25:52
  really feeling down in the beginning of like an evade.
• 25:54
  I didn't start an evade, but I ended up there and I, if I was
• 25:58
  having a down day, I would come out, walk to the base managers,
• 26:02
  open the door, he was on the left and I would just look at
• 26:06
  him for like a couple minutes and then I'd go and go back to
• 26:10
  bed. I literally would watch him.
• 26:12
  I'd do this like 2-3 times a week.
• 26:15
  He'd be learning with someone or something like that in the
• 26:17
  corner and anybody went to Nevada, you'll remember right
• 26:20
  price in the far left corner. And I would just look at him and
• 26:23
  be like, hey, the world is all right, 'cause this man loves me.
• 26:29
  I'm getting emotional. It's one of the nicest things
• 26:31
  I've ever heard about a compliment of a person in my
• 26:34
  life. I mean, yeah.
• 26:35
  First of all, I want to sponsor this podcast.
• 26:38
  Little Nishma's this amazing human being.
• 26:40
  You said he's not alive anymore. He's not alive, but I'm not
• 26:42
  going to remember his. Name OK Shlomo.
• 26:44
  Shlomo Price. Shlomo Price, you know, Shlomo
• 26:46
  Shravan Aaliyah and. Oh, can I give a shout out of?
• 26:49
  Course I. Don't know if I should do this
• 26:51
  publicly, but I actually his son's his youngest son's getting
• 26:56
  married. So I I maybe we could post
• 26:59
  there's a link to pay because he's an orphan.
• 27:01
  So I we I wanted to help him of. Course.
• 27:05
  I'm just shouting it out. Of course I appreciate that and
• 27:08
  I'll let me be the first one to contribute towards that 'cause
• 27:11
  I'll. Send you the link, we'll put it
• 27:13
  out. But I I looked at it, I was
• 27:15
  like, how could I not pay this entire?
• 27:17
  I wanted to pay the entire wedding, but I unfortunately I'm
• 27:20
  in the wrong field. How much is the out?
• 27:23
  I mean, do you know the amount? I think they need another 30 or
• 27:26
  something. 30K yeah. It's like I'll look at it, but
• 27:29
  maybe. Wow, I just want to say.
• 27:32
  I, I gave everything I had. I, my wife was like, you got to
• 27:35
  get to your own campaign next week and I was like, there's.
• 27:38
  A special, there's a special sauce to help a person's wedding
• 27:43
  at the time of your wedding, you know, for the same day.
• 27:45
  So if anybody's having a wedding that day, you know, you know, do
• 27:48
  it. There's unbelievable sauce.
• 27:49
  Some of people that you know, if they're making a wedding and the
• 27:52
  whole thing is in for 30 grand, I mean, come on, let's help the
• 27:54
  guy. It's 30 grand.
• 27:55
  You know what I'm talking about, 150 grand to make a wedding.
• 27:58
  So I'm in to contribute as much as I can towards this cause, but
• 28:02
  to help kick it off, you know, So kudos to you for bringing it
• 28:06
  up. Great point.
• 28:09
  Let's move past this. Topic I've actually the other
• 28:13
  day I, I saw that's when like I saw his face in a picture and it
• 28:20
  hit me like every once in a while it hits me that this is
• 28:25
  the reason there are thousands and thousands of people that
• 28:28
  I've had contact with and thousands and hundreds of people
• 28:32
  that I've taught to like do the methods that we're doing and
• 28:35
  we're spreading a movement. And all it was was Rabbi Price
• 28:40
  looking at my eyes and loving me.
• 28:43
  I can't express the people the power of that.
• 28:47
  I really believe that he has his cause of everybody I've ever
• 28:51
  helped. And it's the philosophy of being
• 28:54
  an uncle, which ultimately we're boiling it down because let's
• 28:57
  keep it simple. Stupid, right?
• 28:58
  You know, as a parent, as a person in a community, just be
• 29:02
  someone's uncle. I love that.
• 29:03
  I actually love that. Really, really cool.
• 29:05
  It makes a lot of sense. Someone on the podcast once said
• 29:08
  here, we would solve all kind of issues, all challenges of
• 29:11
  parenting kids if we would parent other kids.
• 29:14
  Like, you take my kid, I take your kid.
• 29:16
  I had that idea kid swap teenagers.
• 29:19
  I never did it. I I I wonder if I'm the one who
• 29:22
  said that. I don't know, maybe someone said
• 29:23
  it, but. When I said it, I'll say.
• 29:24
  It I said I, I, no one did it, but everybody who who, who like
• 29:29
  hated their parents. Yeah, the other kids.
• 29:31
  You learn with my son, I won't get frustrated every time he
• 29:33
  doesn't know anything. We always loved each other's
• 29:35
  parents. That's how it was.
• 29:38
  Sonny, how did you meet my cousin?
• 29:40
  Yeah, Ellie and shout out. Let's get in.
• 29:43
  Shout out to you, Ellie and Mihali, the two dynamic duo
• 29:47
  sisters who I grew up with and, you know, obviously terrible
• 29:53
  tragedy. They lost their dad and that was
• 29:54
  made public and it's always difficult and they made a stupid
• 29:57
  movie about it recently that really bothered me.
• 29:59
  Yeah, not great. It's also a couple of books, but
• 30:03
  we a. Couple of books my.
• 30:04
  Wife is like so Ellie's so quiet about.
• 30:07
  No, I know the opposite. I know, I know it's great, but
• 30:11
  it's, you know, listen, I grew up knowing their dad and I had
• 30:14
  their monkey Udi in my house in the boiler room when he was
• 30:19
  punished because he wasn't behaving a little monkey that my
• 30:22
  dad and her dad snuck out of South Africa on in a little
• 30:26
  baggie. So.
• 30:27
  Your dad was part. Of yeah, yeah, they were best
• 30:29
  friends and partners. Yeah, no, I know.
• 30:31
  I didn't know he had to do with Ooty.
• 30:32
  And cousins. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 30:33
  I've heard a million stories about who has a pet monkey.
• 30:36
  That's a cool person. Only the Greenwald's.
• 30:38
  The Greenwald's are cool. The coolest people in the world,
• 30:41
  literally. Shout out to Leia and to Mekhali
• 30:44
  and to Ellie and to all your family members that might listen
• 30:47
  to this Tzipi and to all the people from Belgium.
• 30:50
  Great, great family. How did you meet you, Ellie?
• 30:53
  And how did you get so lucky that you're able to talk about
• 30:57
  your wife publicly with enthusiasm and love, and you're
• 31:02
  giving her the love that every woman deserves as a spouse.
• 31:08
  I believe every husband deserves it as well.
• 31:10
  But you're on a mission to just shout it out to the women.
• 31:12
  It's OK. I know.
• 31:14
  But that's not what we're here to talk about.
• 31:15
  You know, the women could talk about shouting out to the men.
• 31:17
  We're here to talk about the women.
• 31:19
  So, you know, you know, I met an Italian guy in his 80s.
• 31:23
  He was at a party. And I, I'll never forget this.
• 31:26
  I was like 25 years old, recently married.
• 31:29
  And I see him and he's having the time of his life.
• 31:33
  He's just like, you know, he's flirting, he's vivacious, he's
• 31:37
  energetic. And he's, you know, he's just
• 31:40
  the life of the party, no matter who he's talking to.
• 31:42
  And everyone's loving talking to male, female, Jew, non Jew.
• 31:44
  It didn't matter. And I said, what's your secret
• 31:47
  to have such a great marriage? I see your wife is next to you.
• 31:49
  She's laughing. He goes, you do whatever you
• 31:51
  want in your life, my friend. But when you come home, you put
• 31:55
  your wife on that pedestal. I love it.
• 31:58
  That's the rule. He says don't even be home.
• 32:01
  He actually taught me this concept and I stuck to it.
• 32:03
  Don't even. You don't have to be home all
• 32:05
  the time. It's OK.
• 32:06
  But when you walk in that door, shut your damn phone, OK?
• 32:10
  Don't walk in on a phone call. Your kids don't need to know how
• 32:13
  busy you are, you know, finish your phone calls.
• 32:15
  You know how many times I park down the block and I see my
• 32:18
  neighbors parking down the block, too?
• 32:20
  We're all talking, you know, to her, you know, whether it's a
• 32:23
  mother, you're talking finishing a business call.
• 32:26
  And then we're all laughing at each other.
• 32:28
  Shout out to Akiva, to David, who like always, sitting on the
• 32:30
  top of the road finishing our, you know, calls.
• 32:33
  And then we come into that, you know what I mean?
• 32:35
  So he taught me that that Italian guy and I've listened to
• 32:39
  him and it worked tremendously for me and a lot of Mazel and
• 32:44
  you know, right guidance happens for reasons of you know, we're
• 32:48
  not going to get into for me. I want to hear about you.
• 32:50
  How did you get so lucky and and tell me what happened.
• 32:55
  Those people who are looking to get married, those people who
• 32:58
  are in challenging. I don't think my story is going
• 33:02
  to help. It's a weird.
• 33:03
  Story I don't care. It doesn't matter.
• 33:04
  Those people in a challenging marriage, those people who are
• 33:08
  not thriving in their marriages. Tell me about your experience
• 33:13
  with your beautiful, amazing wife, Ellie.
• 33:16
  Tell me what's working. Tell me the tricks.
• 33:19
  Tell me the tips. Tell me the challenges and the
• 33:22
  and how you've overcome them. Just talk to me bro.
• 33:25
  What happened here? OK, my, I'm supposed to be
• 33:31
  talking about the village. OK, we'll get there.
• 33:33
  We'll get there. All this, by the way, is all
• 33:35
  connected to us. It always is.
• 33:37
  People always ask me, what's the name?
• 33:38
  None of Your Business The podcast.
• 33:39
  I said it's about the person. It's not about the business.
• 33:41
  The business will come out. The organization will come out.
• 33:43
  I want to know about you. Yes, I want to grow.
• 33:46
  That's what the podcast. We're going to change the title
• 33:48
  of the podcast, by the way, very soon.
• 33:49
  Are you about growth? And that's it?
• 33:51
  Yeah. Meaning None of Your Business
• 33:52
  podcast has a whole long luxion of what it's about.
• 33:54
  We used to have an introduction. Michael Inoshie.
• 33:56
  Yeah, no more. We got straight into it.
• 33:58
  It's about growth. You want to listen?
• 34:00
  You don't want turn on someone else's.
• 34:02
  Podcast, I love it. I love it.
• 34:04
  Like Brainstorm, Brainstorm. You could talk about it.
• 34:06
  No growth. You can go to Brainstorm just
• 34:09
  for fun. You come here.
• 34:10
  Brainstorm. Brainstorm, by the way, focuses
• 34:12
  on mental health, and kudos to you.
• 34:14
  And that's a very important topic.
• 34:16
  Yeah. And you have very interesting
• 34:17
  people. And if you want to grow in the
• 34:19
  world of mental health and understanding other people, keep
• 34:22
  listening to Brainstorm. There you go.
• 34:23
  I will say that the brainstorm is is is everything I want to
• 34:29
  talk about. So there's a lot of metal off.
• 34:32
  We can get the brainstorm and we can get to your campaign and we
• 34:34
  can get to everything. We'll get to every.
• 34:35
  Talk about you, Ellie. But I'm excited because rarely
• 34:38
  does anybody talk to me, ask me that question.
• 34:41
  I don't know why not. It's an awesome question.
• 34:45
  It's like it's the only thing I think about, even though I think
• 34:48
  about all those other things, they're only like very side
• 34:50
  topics. So I'll tell you for fun.
• 34:53
  I'll tell you How I Met. Yeah.
• 34:55
  How about that? I love it.
• 34:56
  I met her in an abandoned Arab village called Lyfta.
• 35:01
  You know Lyfta. No, but it makes sense.
• 35:03
  It's an abandoned Arab village in 48.
• 35:06
  It was abandoned because of the war.
• 35:09
  And there's all these broken down houses down there that it's
• 35:13
  right outside Jerusalem. And, and I when I was 17, I had
• 35:20
  a title and my title was the guru of Lyfta.
• 35:24
  I was the guru of Lyfta and I had long hair and I was the
• 35:27
  hippie guru of Lyfta. Nobody knows this.
• 35:30
  Kobe will know it. If they'll they'll listening,
• 35:32
  they'll love it because that's what it was.
• 35:34
  And there was just homeless hippies living down in Lyfta.
• 35:40
  Where? I'm sorry, where's Lyfta?
• 35:41
  It's right outside. You know what it I'll tell you
• 35:44
  exactly where it is. It is.
• 35:46
  You know, when you're driving out in out of the highway of
• 35:49
  Jerusalem, there's a Trumpiata where everybody is like
• 35:53
  trumping. They're all.
• 35:54
  They're all. Waiting for a.
• 35:56
  Ride. What's the English word temp?
• 35:59
  Why are we watching? Hitching?
• 36:01
  OK, they're hitching. Like, I don't know, for some
• 36:03
  reason I think Israel, I forget the word.
• 36:04
  Down on the bottom is like the. Hitchhiking right outside.
• 36:07
  By that, By that. Down on the bottom over there is
• 36:10
  like water and stuff. There's like a river.
• 36:12
  That's called lift, though. Oh, it's a mikvah there people
• 36:14
  go. Down there there's a mikvah,
• 36:16
  there's these abandoned houses, there's old oil prices, they're
• 36:20
  all there. It's disgusting and ready today,
• 36:22
  but it's but it's all down there and I had a house in in Lyfta
• 36:27
  was great, had a it was fantastic.
• 36:31
  Your own abandoned house it. Was my abandoned house.
• 36:34
  Just to chill there. And for the first year I was
• 36:37
  there, I was mine. That's where I would go for my
• 36:39
  quiet time. And sorry bro, how'd you find
• 36:41
  it? I have to there.
• 36:42
  How'd you find it? I found it because when we were
• 36:44
  kids, we went with some relative on a hike down there and I was
• 36:46
  like, Oh my God, I can live down there.
• 36:48
  Perfect. So I found most people think it
• 36:50
  and they move on. Yeah, you went back.
• 36:51
  I found a house and. Scored.
• 36:55
  So I, I didn't tell anybody for a while and that was like my
• 36:59
  secret spot. And then I eventually told 1
• 37:01
  front. That's where I learned about
• 37:03
  secrets. Don't tell anybody.
• 37:05
  That's that's the secret of secrets.
• 37:07
  So I said, listen, you can't tell anybody.
• 37:09
  I'm showing you my spot. And then as the next week later,
• 37:14
  that place was jam packed with everybody and lots of drugs and
• 37:18
  alcohol, a lot of fun and everybody was going down there
• 37:21
  for for a good show. And I was like all.
• 37:25
  The TC boys are listening to this.
• 37:26
  Yeah, I was like, yeah, what's the deal?
• 37:29
  Why you? Why you guys blowing up my spot?
• 37:31
  So they so. But they gave me the title.
• 37:33
  Got it. I'm the guru.
• 37:34
  Of Lift, the Guru of Lift, the Prince of Lift and.
• 37:37
  Then, so then, so I had a friend of mine who's now a rabbi and
• 37:42
  Derek or Samia Rabbi's Wick, who was Donnie's Wick at the time
• 37:47
  still Donnie's Wick, who had a birthday party.
• 37:50
  So I know it's it was it was December 13th, 1995.
• 37:57
  There you go. I got the date.
• 37:58
  That's a date I met. Yeah, Ellie, I feel like that.
• 38:02
  That's freaking awesome. How?
• 38:02
  Many people could say that. Anyway, I came down and I was
• 38:07
  dating someone at the time, someone else, and she, I was too
• 38:12
  drunk. So she I said let's go to Lyft
• 38:14
  and she's like, you too drunk. I'm not coming.
• 38:16
  So I'd gone down myself and and then I got to have this great
• 38:21
  conversation with this girl. It wasn't, there wasn't a dating
• 38:24
  thing going on, but we had this great conversation.
• 38:27
  So she came as part of the party.
• 38:28
  She was. She was just there.
• 38:29
  Yeah. Cool.
• 38:29
  And I had this great conversation.
• 38:31
  Put her there. Yeah, and a lot of other
• 38:33
  stories. That's How I Met her.
• 38:34
  But we didn't have anything to do with her.
• 38:36
  And then then I didn't have anything to do with her for
• 38:38
  another like 6 months really. And then I told her at some
• 38:42
  point I saw in town, I'm going hiking up north.
• 38:47
  I'm going, I'm going for like 2 weeks.
• 38:49
  I'm going up north. And she said, Oh, that sounds
• 38:52
  cool. And I so I called her, I'd done
• 38:56
  like a three day meditation and spot.
• 38:58
  And then I was heading to the to the Golan and, and then I, so I
• 39:03
  remember this girl that I saw a couple times and I call you want
• 39:06
  to come, we're going hiking. So she came, she came with a
• 39:11
  bodyguard first, like a with a friend to find out if I'm like.
• 39:14
  Murder enough and good job. Yeah, Lee.
• 39:18
  I'm going to, I'm not going to go into all the, yeah, I've so
• 39:20
  many stories, but I'm saying we, we ended up with no money.
• 39:23
  We had both of us had no money and we hitchhiked and just
• 39:27
  travelled to Golan for the next 10 days or something like that.
• 39:31
  And that's when we became friends.
• 39:32
  It wasn't there was no dating. We became friends and we were
• 39:36
  friends for like a year and a half before I even thought of
• 39:38
  dating. I remember the moment I fell in
• 39:40
  love with her. You want to hear that?
• 39:42
  Of course. I like all these moments in my
• 39:44
  life. I like these.
• 39:45
  Anyways, I don't know why anybody's interested in this at
• 39:47
  all, but I'm going to tell you because you're asking.
• 39:49
  I'm interested, OK? I left Israel and I we were best
• 39:54
  friends. We would hang out, went to
• 39:56
  Shiram together. We did all this great stuff
• 39:58
  together and we would schmooze for hours and hours and hours.
• 40:01
  She's just the greatest person ever.
• 40:03
  So it's not that hard. So I I'd gone to America and I
• 40:07
  was walking up the steps of the White Jewel in Far Rockaway.
• 40:11
  They have these shallow steps and I hit the second step and I
• 40:14
  was like I cannot live without this girl.
• 40:18
  Did the thought hit my head like I am 100% alone without her in
• 40:21
  my life? Like on the step I remember step
• 40:24
  by stepped on when I had this thought.
• 40:27
  I was like 19 then or something so it.
• 40:29
  Was two years later. Yeah, so I, I, I, I it was on
• 40:32
  shot. Obviously after shot was I like
• 40:34
  called her and I'm like, I didn't say anything, but I was
• 40:36
  like, I'm coming back. What can I get you?
• 40:38
  Like all of a sudden I was like in love.
• 40:39
  Like it was not. It just shifted and I would,
• 40:42
  there was no more platonic at all.
• 40:44
  And I came back and she had dated someone.
• 40:46
  She was, she's a little older than me.
• 40:47
  So she had like gone on a shit off date and a couple of times.
• 40:52
  And then I said, well, what happens to us if you get
• 40:54
  married? And she said, well, we'll still
• 40:56
  be best friends. I mean, I'm like, that's not how
• 40:58
  marriage works. And she's like, what should I
• 41:01
  do? And I said, well, you should
• 41:02
  marry me. That's the first time I asked
• 41:04
  her to marry me. Not very romantic.
• 41:07
  That's actually very. And she's like, ha ha.
• 41:09
  And I'm like, no, I'm dead serious.
• 41:11
  I'm ready. And then for the next year, I
• 41:13
  convinced I try to convince her to date me, marry me, whatever.
• 41:16
  And she said no for about a year.
• 41:20
  That's not romantic. Not at all.
• 41:22
  I'm saying I don't know how my story is going to help anybody.
• 41:24
  I just begged her. I was like.
• 41:26
  And then the last time I she said maybe you ever see the
• 41:32
  movie Dumb and Dumber? 10 times.
• 41:34
  OK, so you remember when she when he says is there?
• 41:37
  1% chance. Maybe one in a billion.
• 41:41
  So what does he say? There's a chance.
• 41:43
  So you say there's a chance that's what happened to me.
• 41:48
  By the way, use it in negotiation for Is there a
• 41:50
  chance? If there's no chance, let me
• 41:52
  just stop wasting time. So you say there's a chance.
• 41:55
  There's a chance. It's one of the greatest lines
• 41:56
  of all the time. But what happened was is my she
• 41:58
  had a vulnerable weekend where she like decided, OK, we're
• 42:01
  going to talk. And then she's like, maybe.
• 42:05
  And then I was like, maybe I'm going back to America, I'm
• 42:09
  getting a career and I'm marrying you.
• 42:11
  Like literally I changed all my plans after that.
• 42:14
  Maybe she said maybe. And I, I got, I got like booked
• 42:17
  the flight and I was like, I'm going to get a career and I'm
• 42:20
  going to win you over and I'm going to marry you.
• 42:22
  And then there was so the whole process from meeting her to
• 42:25
  marrying her was like 3 1/2 years.
• 42:28
  So I don't know how that helps the shit movement.
• 42:29
  You know what I'm? Saying we're not trying to help
• 42:31
  the shit movement. Don't worry, at least the
• 42:33
  elephant will be here one day and she'll help the shit
• 42:35
  movement. It's a great story, this.
• 42:37
  Helps. Let me tell you how I break it
• 42:39
  down in my head. Yeah.
• 42:42
  This helps for anybody who thinks they're in love, that
• 42:45
  This helps for anyone that doesn't feel the love yet, but
• 42:49
  they're pursuing something that makes sense to them.
• 42:51
  This helps first marriages, second marriages, or third
• 42:54
  marriages. This helps divorcees.
• 42:56
  This helps singles, this helps boyfriends or girlfriends of
• 43:00
  teenagers or adults. This helps people who are
• 43:03
  married or single that are challenged with the fact that we
• 43:07
  are human, we are men and we have vulnerabilities and you
• 43:13
  know it helps. Yeah, nervously, But I can tell
• 43:16
  you that if you want the answer to why I'm able to be crazy and
• 43:21
  love my wife still and all that stuff, it's all in that first
• 43:23
  story where I think the key to a great marriage in a sense one of
• 43:28
  the keys, as many keys. I hate that you just give one
• 43:31
  key, but you need to feel lucky. I mean, I knew I was marrying
• 43:37
  up. There was no question in my mind
• 43:39
  that I needed. She was the prize at the end of
• 43:42
  the rainbow. Like she was like, I was on a
• 43:45
  mission to, to to, to get someone way out of my league.
• 43:50
  In my opinion. I mean, I had a crazy chaotic
• 43:53
  teenage life and like she was just like, she's like an Angel.
• 43:57
  So like I'm like I'm I'm that ideas never ended.
• 44:03
  Like I feel lucky all the time. Like she is like, and as I as
• 44:09
  I'm around longer and longer, it's just more I recognize even
• 44:13
  more like it's doesn't, it's not like I got used to it.
• 44:16
  It's like I'm completely amazed by her on a daily basis.
• 44:20
  So I I'm like I'm sitting around going this guy in the house.
• 44:24
  I was leaving this over living the other day.
• 44:27
  This guy in the house said to me, like I said something like
• 44:30
  very human, like like like something I'm struggling with or
• 44:34
  something. And he said I literally had the
• 44:38
  door open. He said are you so you're like
• 44:40
  us And I said I am thank you. I'm exactly like you.
• 44:47
  I just have one thing over you. I have a woman by my side who I
• 44:53
  could do it together with. I have the same struggles, the
• 44:56
  same sadness, the same loneliness, the same emptiness,
• 44:59
  the same everything that you possibly going to experience.
• 45:03
  But I got to ride or die. I got a person who is at the end
• 45:07
  of the day, close the door, we lock it and we're there with
• 45:11
  each other holding each other and saying we got it together.
• 45:14
  And she's she's got me and I got her.
• 45:18
  And nothing else is different besides that we got each other
• 45:21
  so that I'm like, yes, we're exactly the same, but I got
• 45:24
  lucky. I think that the take away for
• 45:27
  me from that whole thing is that if you don't feel that you're
• 45:34
  lucky when you're dating someone or that feeling hasn't arrived
• 45:39
  yet, don't. Don't keep going.
• 45:43
  Slow down, ask someone for advice.
• 45:45
  There's something wrong if you don't feel lucky when you're
• 45:48
  dating for a relationship, for a partnership, for a future, for
• 45:53
  someone who behind closed doors will hold your hand while you're
• 45:55
  having a cramp at 2:00 in the morning.
• 45:57
  Whether it's the man or the woman.
• 45:59
  Because at the end of the day, the most meaningful thing is the
• 46:02
  person behind the closed door. That you feel lucky enough that
• 46:05
  you give your life for that person 'cause that's your
• 46:07
  partner. That's a true partnership.
• 46:09
  I agree with you 110%. I admire your admiration towards
• 46:15
  relationships. I, I don't want to say I envy it
• 46:18
  because to be honest with you, I have it.
• 46:21
  So I'm also lucky and we share in that sentiment.
• 46:25
  And I just, you know, use that discussion to anyone who's
• 46:29
  looking for that level of a relationship.
• 46:33
  If you don't feel lucky, then go to therapy.
• 46:37
  If you don't feel lucky about your spouse, go get help because
• 46:41
  you should feel lucky everyday. I think that is a good formula.
• 46:44
  It doesn't have to be the only one.
• 46:46
  I don't know how marriage lasts if you don't feel lucky.
• 46:49
  It's a, it's a weird partnership.
• 46:53
  Like, like I, I actually, this is another thing like when I got
• 46:57
  married, like then there's all these like technical things like
• 47:01
  who cleans the house, who cooks, who does like who does all these
• 47:05
  things? And none of them are why I got
• 47:08
  married. None of them.
• 47:10
  I did not pick a girl because maybe that's what he used to do
• 47:12
  it like in the old country, but I didn't do it because she peels
• 47:15
  a potato real well. I didn't do it like half a
• 47:18
  species, a good cook. But that like the house, if the
• 47:21
  house is clean or not clean becomes like a discussion and
• 47:24
  you're like, that's I'm not lucky to marry this person
• 47:27
  because she's really good at cleaning.
• 47:30
  Like I have someone who does that for me.
• 47:32
  I don't need that's not who I'm marrying.
• 47:34
  So the lucky thing is like it overrides every almost at least
• 47:40
  90% of things that you would get annoyed about and like you're
• 47:44
  not doing your part. I'm doing my part.
• 47:45
  You're not doing your part. What do you mean?
• 47:46
  Your part is to be there with me.
• 47:48
  That's that's everything. So all these other little
• 47:51
  details like lately Yeley is like this business now shout out
• 47:56
  Wei Guru just shouting it out. She's killing it.
• 47:58
  You don't know about her business.
• 48:00
  Your wife does for sure because she's like very famous on
• 48:03
  Internet. Just don't know it.
• 48:06
  It's a wig guru. It's like wig grips and wig glue
• 48:09
  and it's. Do you really ask me in a
• 48:12
  surprising manner you don't know about my wife's?
• 48:16
  Everybody knows business. That's what I don't know about
• 48:18
  anybody's wig business. No, I don't.
• 48:21
  Wig Guru. It's huge.
• 48:23
  It's taking the Internet by storm.
• 48:26
  I love you guys, the wig guru. Wiguru but.
• 48:31
  The what was the guru? The other one in the town on
• 48:34
  your shalayam on the bottom. The guru of lifter.
• 48:37
  You're the lifter, show. Yeah, right.
• 48:38
  It's a full circle. It makes sense.
• 48:40
  It makes sense. What I'm saying is like now
• 48:42
  she's working really hard doing her.
• 48:44
  You know what? Good for her.
• 48:45
  And yeah, Ellie, I'm proud of you.
• 48:46
  Yeah. And I'm excited for you on this
• 48:48
  venture. And good luck on it and shout
• 48:51
  out to you for all the great work that you're doing with wigs
• 48:53
  around Claudius Roll. Claudius Roll.
• 48:56
  We love you, Allie. No, but there was a point.
• 48:58
  The point is, is that she's working real hard.
• 49:00
  No. No, no, I get it.
• 49:01
  I cook Shabbos now. Good.
• 49:03
  I don't know how to cook. I learned how to cook Shabbos.
• 49:05
  Good. None of this stuff means
• 49:07
  anything. All the stuff that people are
• 49:08
  getting excited about in marriage.
• 49:10
  I'm just lucky that I'm able to process my life with somebody
• 49:14
  I'll be able to do and I. Got divvy up the functions.
• 49:17
  It's a partnership, it's prioritizing it's also letting
• 49:21
  go. It's you know, it's a matter of
• 49:23
  dividing and conquering You're doing this.
• 49:25
  I'm doing that and let's do this as a partner.
• 49:26
  I I love it, Sonny. I love what you have going on.
• 49:29
  I'm. Going to say it one more thing.
• 49:30
  One more thing sounds very pompous.
• 49:32
  What I'm saying. I'm always loving my wife and
• 49:33
  all that stuff. No, it's not.
• 49:34
  She is Sonny, OK? No, it's not.
• 49:37
  Fine. Don't say that again, please.
• 49:39
  No, I absolutely. I like some people are.
• 49:42
  Talking. That's the 10% you're paying
• 49:44
  attention to the BS noise. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 49:46
  But what I'm saying is this, she's really, really nice to me.
• 49:51
  I watched women tearing men down.
• 49:54
  She has always made me feel amazing about myself.
• 49:58
  And she's the same way I talk about like Rabbi Price looking
• 50:01
  at me. She looks at me like I am really
• 50:04
  special, like she is not trying to tear me down.
• 50:08
  She makes what I do really easy. That's what I'm trying to say.
• 50:12
  She's a great partner. She she makes it easy and I
• 50:15
  think women have way more power in the marriage than men.
• 50:18
  I. Really do and what should they
• 50:19
  do differently? I don't.
• 50:20
  I don't know how to give women advice, but I could tell you
• 50:23
  that a man who feels like cherished and loved will do
• 50:29
  freaking anything for their woman.
• 50:31
  Like that is what I believe that if you walk into the house and
• 50:35
  you've and and that man is feeling like top of the world
• 50:39
  because you're looking at them like this is my man I am.
• 50:43
  I know man, men will do literally turn the world over
• 50:47
  for their wives. So I, I do think there's a much
• 50:50
  bigger power. Like if you look at my marriage,
• 50:52
  Jelly is way more powerful in the marriage in the sense that I
• 50:56
  just, I'm dying to give it back. You probably naturally do what
• 51:00
  the Italian taught me in my 20s. You put your wife on a pedestal
• 51:02
  regardless. That's what I'm trying to tell
• 51:04
  you when. You're home and you're saying
• 51:05
  she does it to you. It's amazing.
• 51:07
  I'm proud of both of you. And yeah, yeah, it's.
• 51:10
  Too much. It's not too much, it's just
• 51:11
  that you know for. I absolutely love it.
• 51:13
  Yeah, no, it's good for we're moving on from this topic simply
• 51:17
  because, you know, it's not that it's too much, it's just that
• 51:20
  it's perfect. It's awesome.
• 51:21
  It's a great message and that's what I want to get out of it for
• 51:25
  now and go so much deeper into it.
• 51:27
  Relationships is huge, but it's such an amazing concept in
• 51:30
  general, putting the spouse ahead of yourself and making
• 51:34
  them feel good. If both spouses did that
• 51:36
  constantly when they're around, we'd have easier time with
• 51:40
  therapy, counseling and marriage counseling, better parenting and
• 51:44
  so on and so forth, which is amazing.
• 51:47
  But when we started, there was another thing we talked about in
• 51:50
  general, which is raising kids and going through the process
• 51:52
  and the marriage process and the, you know, and the turning
• 51:56
  points for you and all that stuff.
• 51:58
  And we covered so much ground on those topics that we started
• 52:01
  with. And I'm very happy that we got
• 52:03
  to this point. But we have to talk about what
• 52:06
  is the campaign that you're doing right now?
• 52:08
  Tell me a little bit about the village.
• 52:11
  The concept that you have of having the community participate
• 52:15
  in getting people healthier is near and dear to my heart simply
• 52:20
  because I'm a community first person after family.
• 52:23
  It's community, you know, business, family, community.
• 52:27
  Those are the top three. You know, friends, family is 4.
• 52:30
  Yeah, smaller. True.
• 52:33
  I'm saying it's your tightest community is your family, and
• 52:35
  then it gets bigger. So talk to me about your model
• 52:37
  and how it works and, and what the village is all about and
• 52:40
  what you know, what you're going through right now in the terms
• 52:42
  of giving. That's the last thing we spoke
• 52:44
  about in the in the beginning of the first few minutes of the
• 52:46
  conversation. Talk to me about that
• 52:47
  uncomfortableness about what you're up to right now.
• 52:50
  Let's get through that part. OK, so first of all, I with your
• 52:54
  permission, because I know last time I came it was one of the
• 52:57
  first times I talked about the Shiva protocol and I want to say
• 53:00
  it again, you have new guests and stuff like that.
• 53:02
  Shiva house rules baby talk to me Shiva house.
• 53:05
  Rules. Just the idea that I spent a
• 53:07
  lot, a lot of years in this field trying to fix people's
• 53:11
  behaviors and trying to make them live proper lives and
• 53:14
  realizing how incredibly useless that was.
• 53:17
  Not that not that it's not a good idea to improve yourself
• 53:20
  and grow. It's a great idea.
• 53:22
  What I found is that people only don't improve themselves because
• 53:28
  they have this deep sense of unworthiness and deeply inside
• 53:31
  them that they know exactly what to do.
• 53:33
  Every addict knows making your bed is a great idea and having a
• 53:37
  job is a great idea, and making money and getting a wife is a
• 53:40
  great idea. They all know that they're not
• 53:42
  stupid people. The question is, why are they
• 53:46
  not doing it? And it took me years to figure
• 53:49
  it out. And it took years for me to
• 53:51
  realize to Rabbi Price, look at my eyes was the answer the whole
• 53:56
  time. But the answer is, is that we
• 53:59
  have in our Jewish tradition, what do you do with a
• 54:02
  traumatized person, someone who lost a loved one, someone who
• 54:06
  feels unworthy of being in this world, someone who feels like,
• 54:09
  what is the point of all this and just emptiness?
• 54:13
  That's what you feel when you traumatized.
• 54:16
  We have Shiva. What the Jew what what our
• 54:19
  ancient, ancient Jewish tradition says is that we we sit
• 54:23
  down, we take the person who's hurting, who's traumatized,
• 54:27
  who's in pain, and we don't tell them, get up, get a job, get
• 54:30
  your act together, get out there.
• 54:32
  We say, sit down on a low chair. No movement.
• 54:36
  We're coming around. It is not on you to get better
• 54:39
  right now. It's on us, the community to
• 54:42
  hold you until you have the strength to move on on your own.
• 54:46
  And we wait till they talk 1st and we don't disagree with what
• 54:49
  they're saying. And if they saying something
• 54:52
  that they're hurt, we have to listen to it.
• 54:54
  We listen to what they say, we hold them, we look at them with
• 54:58
  the eyes of you are worthy just because you are here.
• 55:03
  That's how Shiva works. And everybody who sits through
• 55:08
  Shiva, most people doesn't want to be there.
• 55:11
  They don't want to be held. They want to be sick and in pain
• 55:15
  and isolating that room. And that's how every addict
• 55:17
  feels. But we say no, you're coming
• 55:20
  into my community and we're going to love you and you're
• 55:23
  going to borrow hope from us and we're going to give you the
• 55:26
  strength. And slowly, slowly, it'll be a
• 55:28
  week and then and then a month you have, you have, you have
• 55:31
  Schlossheim. And then in 11 weeks we'll stop
• 55:33
  saying Kaddish. In a year we have a yard site,
• 55:36
  we're going to get you to a place.
• 55:38
  And I have found fascinatingly in addiction, one year is pretty
• 55:43
  much the magic mark of people getting back up.
• 55:45
  If they have held for a year, most of the time around a year,
• 55:50
  which is brilliant from the from the Hakamam, they get back on
• 55:55
  and they move on. I built an entire community, the
• 55:58
  village, that's what we're promoting the village.
• 56:02
  That's when I'm like the campaign.
• 56:04
  We, I built a community. 90% of what we do is holding and just
• 56:12
  allowing every single person to know how special and how
• 56:16
  important they are to us and how it's important they are just for
• 56:19
  existing and giving them the strength to to take their time
• 56:23
  to get better. We built an entire community.
• 56:25
  That doesn't mean we don't tell them.
• 56:27
  They got to try to get work and they got to do it.
• 56:29
  We do all that stuff. It's as professional as you get,
• 56:33
  but there's no community for recovering people that has ever
• 56:37
  existed in my opinion, that gives the amount of love and
• 56:40
  support that we've created. I.
• 56:42
  Don't think there's anyone that does it in terms of integration
• 56:44
  of community. That's the thing that you
• 56:46
  introduced to the world. Kudos to you for that.
• 56:50
  It's in our community. And for those of you that don't
• 56:52
  know, the concept is that there's a post rehab integration
• 56:57
  into the community where when the person comes out of rehab,
• 57:00
  no matter what they're dealing with, ship a house, rules, turns
• 57:03
  on for the entire community and we are there for them.
• 57:06
  Come for Shabbos, come for meals.
• 57:09
  You come by helping guys get jobs, the whole community.
• 57:12
  The the difference is this is not a clinical experience.
• 57:16
  This is a communal experience where they had the whole Shlomo
• 57:20
  Reichmann has built the the neighbors, which is volunteers
• 57:24
  to help my guys even more. And these guys are divining in
• 57:27
  the shoes. They're connecting.
• 57:28
  They're all working for people in the from community, they're
• 57:31
  all connecting to, they are in reintegrating back.
• 57:34
  They don't look like clinical cases.
• 57:37
  They become regular members. My some of my biggest
• 57:40
  supporters, most a lot of them are people who went through the
• 57:44
  program who are like living very successful lives right now.
• 57:48
  And it's fascinating to see. What was most fascinating to me
• 57:51
  when I visited the place for one of the first times is, first of
• 57:54
  all, you have a house and it's it's quite large.
• 57:57
  It has to be the right type of house.
• 58:00
  It's built right into the community of any town.
• 58:03
  Wesley Hills, Pomona, Brooklyn, whatever, doesn't make a
• 58:05
  difference. Anyway, right now there's six
• 58:06
  houses. Just one.
• 58:07
  Awesome. And the house is very
• 58:10
  regimented. There's a clean system in there.
• 58:12
  There's a schedule. Of course you run it like a good
• 58:14
  system, like you said, professional and so on and so
• 58:17
  forth. The heart is in it and the
• 58:18
  community is in it, which is amazing.
• 58:20
  When I first came in, I don't know, over a decade ago, it made
• 58:24
  me realize and thankfully helped me as a parent and as an uncle,
• 58:28
  that addiction is the only problem when you're gambling.
• 58:32
  You know someone came in to Hey Khal Yeshiva, shout out to
• 58:36
  Gramezian came in to speak and he gave a blessing to all the
• 58:39
  boys. I bless you all that you all
• 58:41
  lose every time you gamble because the second you win is
• 58:45
  when you start getting excited and that's when you get addicted
• 58:47
  to it. And if you have an addictive
• 58:48
  personality, you're going to get sucked in at a young age that
• 58:51
  your brain hasn't developed. Addicts are very smart.
• 58:55
  I always say this, that they actually are looking for the
• 58:59
  right thing in the wrong place. People who are addicted and are
• 59:04
  more addicted than others, they're lacking connection in
• 59:08
  their life. They want to be connected.
• 59:09
  They want to feel whole, they want to feel special.
• 59:12
  That's what they want. They're not getting it from
• 59:14
  themselves, so they're looking for another place to get it.
• 59:18
  Now, if you just take that thing away, they'll find something
• 59:20
  else. Unless you actually fill them
• 59:23
  with connection and love and all that stuff, they're going to
• 59:26
  keep looking at it in every other place.
• 59:29
  So you could try to like, OK, when take it off, we're going to
• 59:31
  work out. But then that guy works out six
• 59:33
  hours a day and then you're like, Dang, it's constantly
• 59:35
  going to be, you're going to play whack A mole.
• 59:37
  That's a you're trying to get it to die.
• 59:40
  It's never going to happen. The answer is exactly what
• 59:43
  they're seeking. You're seeking connection.
• 59:46
  You're doing it the wrong way. We're just going to tell you how
• 59:49
  to do it the right way. There's no real change in the in
• 59:52
  an addict in terms of healing. The healing is we're listening
• 59:55
  to you. You're saying I desperately feel
• 59:58
  alone and and there's a gap in my life and I have to fill it.
• 1:00:02
  Great. Come here.
• 1:00:03
  We'll show you how to do it. So we're they're not wrong on
• 1:00:07
  what they want. For all people listening that
• 1:00:10
  are addicts or know someone that's an addict in anything,
• 1:00:15
  first of all, you need to know that you can be an addict in
• 1:00:18
  anything. Second of all, you need to know
• 1:00:20
  that if you have an addiction and it's a challenge and it's
• 1:00:23
  controlling your life or you know someone that has that
• 1:00:26
  challenge, please reach out to Sani Proman, especially if
• 1:00:30
  you're an an adult male. You have a website now.
• 1:00:33
  What's the website? Villagerecovery.org.
• 1:00:35
  Thank you. Then you can reach you get me?
• 1:00:38
  OK, I, I, I'm, I, I, I appreciate it.
• 1:00:41
  I mean, it's amazing and the village is awesome.
• 1:00:43
  Good luck on your campaign. You're going to do great.
• 1:00:47
  It's not even a question. You're going to get everything
• 1:00:48
  you need because you have the community sort support behind
• 1:00:50
  you. And guess what?
• 1:00:52
  I'm part of your community and I'm loving what you're doing it
• 1:00:55
  And I'm a supporter with you financially, emotionally,
• 1:00:58
  mentally, physically, spiritually, emotionally, all of
• 1:01:01
  it. I'm all in, baby.
• 1:01:03
  I love what you're doing. I love you as a person.
• 1:01:05
  I love the people in the house. I love the neighborhood that
• 1:01:08
  supports it. I love talking about things that
• 1:01:12
  are vulnerable and growing through it.
• 1:01:14
  I love it. Sonny, do you have any questions
• 1:01:16
  for me? I'm curious if you are enjoying
• 1:01:20
  doing the podcast. I know it's a simple question.
• 1:01:24
  But I'm not enjoying the the business side of things, but the
• 1:01:28
  1 1/2 hours that I'm sitting with you.
• 1:01:30
  And that is more than I gain from anything in my life other
• 1:01:34
  than my family and community and my business.
• 1:01:38
  Once a week for an hour to two hours.
• 1:01:41
  I learned so much and I adapted into my life.
• 1:01:44
  Every week I'm learning and growing.
• 1:01:45
  It's freaking awesome. Oh, wow, I'm feeling the same
• 1:01:49
  way. Exactly the same way.
• 1:01:51
  I hate the business side. Yeah, yeah, I do love.
• 1:01:54
  It I have a question that I have from the previous guests that
• 1:01:59
  we've had, I've asked them, you know, come up with a question
• 1:02:01
  that you want us to ask our next guest and I have and I'd like to
• 1:02:04
  ask you that. Question, was it the artist Lomo
• 1:02:06
  guys? It was.
• 1:02:08
  It was. I'm an Arshlomo guy.
• 1:02:10
  Really. Yeah.
• 1:02:11
  Go there. I'm always.
• 1:02:12
  They wanted me to ask. The next question is how do you
• 1:02:14
  deal with anger? How long do you have to?
• 1:02:18
  No, I'm just OK. How do I deal with anger?
• 1:02:21
  First of all, I have a different take from anger than anybody
• 1:02:25
  I've ever met. So I'm going to give you my take
• 1:02:27
  on anger. And I'm so glad you asked.
• 1:02:29
  Thank you, Arshlomo guys, their campaigns going on go to them
• 1:02:33
  too. What was I going to say?
• 1:02:36
  So I actually at some point realized when I was a kid, I was
• 1:02:41
  furiously angry and I always was.
• 1:02:43
  And I and I avoided it and try to keep it away from my life as
• 1:02:46
  much as possible. And in a certain sense, I
• 1:02:48
  suppressed it. And no one's really ever seen me
• 1:02:51
  angry. That's really something that
• 1:02:52
  I've like suppressed. But when I realized at a certain
• 1:02:56
  point, probably about about 8-9 years ago, it occurred to me
• 1:03:00
  that I was literally missing something incredibly special in
• 1:03:03
  my life. And that was anger.
• 1:03:06
  And nobody talks about anger on the good side, but I'm going to
• 1:03:09
  say the anger on the good side. The good side of anger is it's
• 1:03:12
  the one emotion that has an absolutely no doubt in the world
• 1:03:16
  how special you are. It is your motivational speaker
• 1:03:20
  emotion, the guy you can feel terrible about yourself and you
• 1:03:25
  can feel like the worst person in the world and somebody pulls,
• 1:03:28
  you know, cuts you off in traffic and you're like, you're
• 1:03:31
  cutting me off, I'm me and you're not allowed to cut me up.
• 1:03:37
  And it makes you puff up your chest back goes back.
• 1:03:40
  You're ready to fight, You're ready to go to war.
• 1:03:43
  And it like reminds you how incredibly special you are now
• 1:03:48
  rage is when you take that feeling where it's like a
• 1:03:53
  reminder. It's like your soul saying to
• 1:03:55
  you, don't forget the entire planet was created for you.
• 1:04:00
  That's what it is all about. Wake up when you're feeling
• 1:04:03
  depressed. Anger shows up and goes, hello,
• 1:04:06
  you're amazing now. And then we go and we're like,
• 1:04:10
  I'm going to punch like on the face.
• 1:04:11
  No, sit with it and feel it and be like, wow, that feels that
• 1:04:16
  feels really good above my chest.
• 1:04:18
  And to be angry and want to hit somebody like that feels good.
• 1:04:22
  I'm somebody. So I have I have actually
• 1:04:25
  embraced it. Like I get that feeling of anger
• 1:04:28
  and I'll just stop my day and just like, wow.
• 1:04:33
  I'm worthy. Yeah, I'm worthy and and it's me
• 1:04:35
  telling me, which is like wild. So rage I'm very against.
• 1:04:40
  Don't fight. Just sit in that and realize
• 1:04:43
  that it's your reminder that you are special and you are
• 1:04:46
  important. Bro, I got to shake your hand.
• 1:04:48
  There you go. That was a really good.
• 1:04:50
  One Zach brother and see that coming.
• 1:04:52
  That was a really great answer. I love anger.
• 1:04:56
  OK, so I will say one thing is we say anger is about the Zara
• 1:05:00
  because if we take that and believe it, we're like I am more
• 1:05:04
  important than everything. I'm a more than God.
• 1:05:07
  I the worship of Azar is worshiping yourself.
• 1:05:10
  You you forget that there are other people.
• 1:05:12
  Genius, Sonny. Genius.
• 1:05:14
  I love it. I love.
• 1:05:15
  You ask that question. And thank you and thank you for
• 1:05:18
  the OR Shlomo guys that asked it.
• 1:05:19
  Thank you to Ezra Max for telling me to do this.
• 1:05:22
  Nice it. Was a great idea.
• 1:05:23
  Thank you to Alex Barth who gives me guidance probably week
• 1:05:27
  to week on the podcast. Thank you to Shmoell Weinstock,
• 1:05:30
  who constantly gives me feedback, to Josh Parnas, who's
• 1:05:33
  always giving me good feedback. And thank you to those
• 1:05:35
  commenters on YouTube. There's a few of them that are
• 1:05:37
  always giving comments that, you know, Steph, you know, there's a
• 1:05:42
  few people, Steph, that always give the comments, you know what
• 1:05:45
  I'm talking about? Same few people, yeah, which is
• 1:05:49
  always awesome. Who would you recommend as a
• 1:05:53
  guest on this podcast? I say it differently now.
• 1:05:56
  I say who? If you started a podcast, who
• 1:05:58
  would be your first guest? But you have a podcast.
• 1:06:00
  So who do you think at this point in our way the podcast is
• 1:06:05
  heading would be a good next guest to sit here in your chair?
• 1:06:07
  I could tell I I'm going to just recommend my favorite podcast
• 1:06:12
  that I did, AB Rotenberg. I think you should get AB
• 1:06:16
  Rotenberg. Call him.
• 1:06:19
  He's not. He's not going to answer right
• 1:06:20
  now, really. I'll call him afterwards.
• 1:06:24
  Embarrassing. Now you may answer, but I had AB
• 1:06:27
  Rotenberg on and it's it was the biggest fanboying pod to me.
• 1:06:31
  It was like having Michael Jackson on.
• 1:06:33
  Like it was like the greatest. Sonny call AB Rotenberg doesn't.
• 1:06:36
  Answer my phone because I have. To what are you talking about?
• 1:06:38
  Really. You sure you don't want to give
• 1:06:40
  it a? Shot I'm not friends with him,
• 1:06:41
  I'm just. Oh, but he was on your podcast
• 1:06:43
  though. He was.
• 1:06:44
  So you think you think you can get him on?
• 1:06:46
  I'll call him for you if you want you.
• 1:06:47
  Don't want to call him now on the spot.
• 1:06:49
  No. I'm not going to push.
• 1:06:51
  That you did that last time to me and it worked.
• 1:06:53
  I gave you someone else. It worked.
• 1:06:54
  It always works. You know why it always works?
• 1:06:56
  Because if it's meant to be, it's meant to be.
• 1:06:58
  But you got to make the call. You know the uncomfortable thing
• 1:07:00
  that you're going through right now to make those calls and to
• 1:07:03
  raise that money for your village and for the six houses
• 1:07:06
  and to have a 7th and an eighth and to learn how to do it.
• 1:07:09
  Is this breakthrough. Get on your damn phone and call
• 1:07:12
  AB Rotenberg right now. Stop being a wuss.
• 1:07:14
  Let's go. That's what we got to do.
• 1:07:15
  Yeah, that's the uncomfortable, the phone calls all day.
• 1:07:18
  That's it. Be vulnerable.
• 1:07:20
  Not a call. We'll see.
• 1:07:21
  Yeah, yeah. Just ask him to join.
• 1:07:24
  So if he picks up, if not, then you'll do it later.
• 1:07:27
  Thank you. But you got to make the call.
• 1:07:28
  That's the point of the fundraising of, you know, the
• 1:07:31
  salesmanship that you don't like to do, giving thing that you
• 1:07:34
  don't want to turn. Make the call.
• 1:07:38
  I'll leave a message. Nah, people don't like messages.
• 1:07:41
  Don't leave messages for busy people.
• 1:07:42
  The truth is, text them. From the time period where you
• 1:07:46
  can leave a message. Oh, you're right, they listened.
• 1:07:49
  That's right if you're you. Should've left them.
• 1:07:52
  I'll leave my message later. He, I think he changed an entire
• 1:07:56
  generation. I'm in, I'm in.
• 1:07:57
  I love it. Thank you again to all our
• 1:07:59
  subscribers. Thank you to the Prime Source
• 1:08:00
  production team. Guys.
• 1:08:02
  This is fully sponsored by Prime Source, Prime Sources expense
• 1:08:05
  consultants for the senior care industry.
• 1:08:08
  We've recently had a tremendous merger with another company
• 1:08:10
  called BEP and we're now powered by them.
• 1:08:13
  So we have software and data and technology and a backbone like
• 1:08:17
  no one else has in the industry that we can take your data and
• 1:08:22
  analyze it. I said earlier, by the way, that
• 1:08:24
  I lost the potential client 'cause I was too vivacious.
• 1:08:28
  There's a there's a thing called pleasantly persistent when it it
• 1:08:32
  comes to going after clients. However, I want to tell you it's
• 1:08:35
  worth the risk. I may have lost this one, but
• 1:08:37
  I'll gain another 10. Being aggressive, pleasantly
• 1:08:40
  persistent and using our business intelligence to gain
• 1:08:43
  the trust of clients. That's what we do on a daily
• 1:08:45
  basis here at Prime Source. We'd love to earn your trust if
• 1:08:48
  you own an assisted living home, a nursing home, a surgery
• 1:08:51
  center, a hotel. Now we can do restaurants,
• 1:08:53
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• 1:08:59
  If you own or manage any of those places and you want to see
• 1:09:01
  how to cut your costs with just using your data and looking at
• 1:09:04
  the manufacturer data and looking at the all the
• 1:09:09
  algorithms to see using AI, hey, what can you buy better and
• 1:09:12
  smarter? Contact us today at
• 1:09:14
  primesourcex.com. And thank you again to all of
• 1:09:19
  our listeners. Thank you, Sonny.
• 1:09:20
  This has been amazing. This has been fun.
• 1:09:22
  This has been growth oriented. I always hope for that at the
• 1:09:25
  end and it always is. And this has been fun with you
• 1:09:28
  and. That's a wrap.
• 1:09:30
  Thank you. Brother.