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Transcript

Battling Through The Wounds with Alycia “Da Bomb” Baumgardner · Just Heal with Dr Jay

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Welcome to Jess Hell with Doctor J, a production of
• 0:02
  Speaker 1: The Black Effect Podcast Network and iHeartRadio. Welcome to another
• 0:07
  Speaker 1: episode with just Here with Doctor J Burnett. And I
• 0:11
  Speaker 1: am thrilled and delighted. I'm humble, I'm all of the words.
• 0:15
  Speaker 1: I'm gonna save some of my words for the conversation
• 0:18
  Speaker 1: to have the bomb you know her as ab Miss
• 0:23
  Speaker 1: Alicia Gardner. Welcome to the community, Jess Healing and listen.
• 0:30
  Speaker 1: I'm excited about this opportunity because I feel like I've
• 0:33
  Speaker 1: been chosen to have this exclusive with her before the fight,
• 0:38
  Speaker 1: and I'm excited. Welcome to our community. We call this
• 0:41
  Speaker 1: the healing community, the healing community.
• 0:43
  Speaker 2: I love that. Thank you for having me. That's another
• 0:46
  Speaker 2: day to heal, another day to talk about it.
• 0:48
  Speaker 1: Man. I love it. I love it. And what I
• 0:51
  Speaker 1: love about your energy is so infectious. When I met
• 0:54
  Speaker 1: you with Derreck Jays, I've been working with Derek for
• 0:57
  Speaker 1: a number of years with his foundation and we do
• 1:01
  Speaker 1: a lot of work with the boys in South Dallas,
• 1:04
  Speaker 1: and I just want to highlight the Derreck James Foundation
• 1:08
  Speaker 1: because they do amazing work in South Dallas with a
• 1:11
  Speaker 1: lot of the boys, and we do a lot of
• 1:13
  Speaker 1: work helping with social and emotional development and things like that.
• 1:17
  Speaker 1: And he because me and Derek talk often, and he
• 1:20
  Speaker 1: was like, yo, I got this fighter I need you
• 1:21
  Speaker 1: to meet and you know, he was working with Ryan
• 1:24
  Speaker 1: and I was like, all right, I'll come out. He's like, man,
• 1:26
  Speaker 1: I'm telling you, man, you got to meet him. Man
• 1:27
  Speaker 1: she she. I was like all right, And so I
• 1:30
  Speaker 1: get to meet you, and I'm just like, wow, you
• 1:32
  Speaker 1: shuk my hand and I kind of, you know, shook
• 1:36
  Speaker 1: my hand off a little bit, like okay, it's a
• 1:38
  Speaker 1: little firm Handshit, this is what to get rich. They
• 1:41
  Speaker 1: don't call you the ball for no reason. So how
• 1:45
  Speaker 1: did you get that name? The Ball?
• 1:46
  Speaker 2: The bomb? It came from my last name, Bumgardner. This
• 1:50
  Speaker 2: is German. And I remember a funny story was on
• 1:54
  Speaker 2: the airplane and I'm telling my trainer. I'm like, you know,
• 1:56
  Speaker 2: I think I got the I got the name from
• 1:58
  Speaker 2: my ring from when I turned pro. I'm like the bomb.
• 2:01
  Speaker 2: I'm saying the bomb on the plane. I'm like he's
• 2:03
  Speaker 2: just looking at me. I'm like, I got you. But yeah,
• 2:07
  Speaker 2: it comes from my last name. And I think it's
• 2:09
  Speaker 2: just perfect because it's just it really ties into who
• 2:12
  Speaker 2: I am as a fighter, as a warrior, and just
• 2:16
  Speaker 2: like the true definition what bumgardener means in German. So
• 2:20
  Speaker 2: the bomb it was Wow.
• 2:22
  Speaker 1: I love it. And listen, if you guys have not
• 2:25
  Speaker 1: watched her train and watch her a fight, she throws
• 2:29
  Speaker 1: nothing but balls. So you're in training, you're a couple
• 2:35
  Speaker 1: of weeks away from one of the biggest women events
• 2:39
  Speaker 1: in sports history, and we're going to get into a
• 2:43
  Speaker 1: lot of different topics today. But how are you feeling physically?
• 2:47
  Speaker 1: We'll go to the mental stuff later, but how you
• 2:49
  Speaker 1: feeling physically?
• 2:50
  Speaker 2: Yeah, So physically I am feeling so strong and just
• 2:55
  Speaker 2: in shape, Like my body is just in this space
• 2:58
  Speaker 2: where it's just performance, and every day in the gym
• 3:02
  Speaker 2: it gets better and better, and I'm like, three weeks,
• 3:06
  Speaker 2: we're ready to be in there.
• 3:08
  Speaker 1: Yeah. How long was your camp?
• 3:10
  Speaker 2: This was a seven week camp that I did this
• 3:14
  Speaker 2: go around again. You mentioned training with Derek James, so
• 3:17
  Speaker 2: me and him had to get accommodated with each other
• 3:20
  Speaker 2: just to see how training is and how we work
• 3:23
  Speaker 2: in the corner and in training, and it's been great.
• 3:25
  Speaker 2: So every day has been necessary to be here today,
• 3:30
  Speaker 2: to be in shape and to be ready.
• 3:32
  Speaker 1: Yeah, it kind of walked me through, like I know,
• 3:34
  Speaker 1: Ramayah kind of told me what your training schedule is
• 3:37
  Speaker 1: like and how you know it's six days a week.
• 3:40
  Speaker 1: What is your normal day like? What time are you
• 3:43
  Speaker 1: waking up? I know there's peers or resp it's in there.
• 3:47
  Speaker 1: So what does your normal day look like in training?
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  Speaker 2: Yeah, normal day looks like waking up at sometimes seven
• 3:54
  Speaker 2: thirty eight o'clock, depending on the work out we're doing.
• 3:57
  Speaker 2: Wake up. You know, I have breakfast. We train at
• 4:02
  Speaker 2: ten o'clock. I do my strength and conditioning from like
• 4:06
  Speaker 2: ten o'clock to like eleven thirty, go home, take a shower,
• 4:09
  Speaker 2: take a nap, eat something, rest, and then back in
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  Speaker 2: the gitm at two o'clock. So they're gonna spar that day,
• 4:15
  Speaker 2: or we're gonna do some floorwork. If we're sparring, we're
• 4:18
  Speaker 2: doing ten rounds. I've been doing ten rounds the last
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  Speaker 2: two weeks sparring. So we do that and then you know,
• 4:25
  Speaker 2: to like four o'clock, go home, take a shower, eat,
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  Speaker 2: wrest a little bit. We may do some recovery on
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  Speaker 2: later that day. That could be you know, crowd therapy, sage,
• 4:37
  Speaker 2: red light therapy, the sauna, and just giving that the
• 4:41
  Speaker 2: rest of the day of recovery day just to do
• 4:43
  Speaker 2: right back again next day.
• 4:45
  Speaker 1: Yeah, it'd be right back again. And you know, for
• 4:49
  Speaker 1: those who don't know much about the sport of boxing,
• 4:53
  Speaker 1: how much is it mentally resetting your mind to do
• 4:58
  Speaker 1: the same thing. You know, I play ball, and I
• 5:02
  Speaker 1: know sometimes mentally it can become very monotonous and very mundane.
• 5:09
  Speaker 1: But what is that process like for you mentally as
• 5:12
  Speaker 1: you are going through your process every day, especially for
• 5:15
  Speaker 1: seven weeks of intense training.
• 5:18
  Speaker 2: Yeah, mentally you have to restart every day. You know,
• 5:21
  Speaker 2: sometimes you can't take what you did that the one
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  Speaker 2: day and bringing into the next. Ay, So I'm like
• 5:28
  Speaker 2: having to take each day for what it is in
• 5:31
  Speaker 2: those moments where I'm learning and growing through maybe some
• 5:35
  Speaker 2: of the mistakes I made and sparring, but I'm never
• 5:37
  Speaker 2: going to take that into the next day because now
• 5:39
  Speaker 2: it's a new day. Okay, Now we're back in the gym,
• 5:42
  Speaker 2: we're working on what we worked on, and now we're
• 5:44
  Speaker 2: progressing to something different on that level. So it's just
• 5:48
  Speaker 2: like resetting the mind and still telling myself, okay, we're
• 5:51
  Speaker 2: here for present, and you know, it's we practice in
• 5:56
  Speaker 2: the gym so we can have the fun come fight night,
• 6:00
  Speaker 2: you know. So we made the mistakes in the gym now,
• 6:02
  Speaker 2: so we can you know, not make them in the
• 6:04
  Speaker 2: ring when come to fight night. So it's just it's
• 6:07
  Speaker 2: a reset button sometimes and oftentimes that's that's necessary because
• 6:12
  Speaker 2: boxing is ninety percent mental for me at least.
• 6:15
  Speaker 1: Yeah, and knowing that it's ninety percent mental, what practices
• 6:21
  Speaker 1: do you practice? Like? Is there quiet times? Do you meditate,
• 6:27
  Speaker 1: do you take walks? You know, are you listening to
• 6:30
  Speaker 1: calming music? What is a practice like for you to
• 6:33
  Speaker 1: reset mentally?
• 6:34
  Speaker 2: Yeah, there's a few. So one I journal. I love
• 6:37
  Speaker 2: to write. I've been journaling since the age of seven,
• 6:40
  Speaker 2: So journaling has allowed me to just write all my
• 6:43
  Speaker 2: thoughts out on paper. My mind is so clustered sometimes
• 6:48
  Speaker 2: because I'm thinking about everything scenarios that could be boxing,
• 6:52
  Speaker 2: that could be personal life. So I'm like writing these
• 6:54
  Speaker 2: things down. I'm speaking out loud. I'm talking to myself.
• 6:57
  Speaker 2: I know if people may think that's odd, but it's
• 6:59
  Speaker 2: the most realist thing you could ever do, because I'm
• 7:01
  Speaker 2: really talking to God out like, out loud, So just
• 7:05
  Speaker 2: hearing myself speak and just allowing that to come through
• 7:09
  Speaker 2: my ears out like it just allows me to like
• 7:13
  Speaker 2: see things and hear things I might not if I'm
• 7:15
  Speaker 2: not speaking in out loud. Going for a walk is oh,
• 7:18
  Speaker 2: it's good. I love to be outside. Outdoors is like
• 7:21
  Speaker 2: my thing.
• 7:22
  Speaker 1: Yea.
• 7:23
  Speaker 2: I have a dog, so being with her that has
• 7:26
  Speaker 2: allowed me to just kind of reset, help that mental
• 7:29
  Speaker 2: space and then sometimes even working out again. Yeah, you know,
• 7:33
  Speaker 2: it's just it's a program. It's what I've been prograbing
• 7:35
  Speaker 2: to do since the age of five. So just being
• 7:40
  Speaker 2: if that's walking, if that's riding a bike, rollerblading, I
• 7:42
  Speaker 2: love the roller blade.
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  Speaker 1: Okay, so you all outdoors? What is your birthday? May
• 7:48
  Speaker 1: twenty four, May twenty fourth. Man, you was right on
• 7:51
  Speaker 1: the cuss of being one of the greatest signs of tourists.
• 7:53
  Speaker 1: And the reason because because because you know, tourists for
• 7:56
  Speaker 1: us like we love outdoors. Yeah, you know, and so
• 8:00
  Speaker 1: I'm not big in astrology for those you go, No,
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  Speaker 1: I'm not big in a strategy, but I like being outdoors.
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  Speaker 1: I grew up in the South and for me, being
• 8:09
  Speaker 1: outside really helps my mental like just being you know,
• 8:14
  Speaker 1: along with nature and all of those things that's creation.
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  Speaker 2: Yeah, it's just like you know, I just pay attention
• 8:22
  Speaker 2: to smallest things, you know, like the trees and the flowers,
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  Speaker 2: and just even people walking and being active. I think
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  Speaker 2: people should have an active lifestyle if that's walky, you
• 8:32
  Speaker 2: know what I'm saying, and that just helps the body.
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  Speaker 2: I'm all for health and wellness to make sure that
• 8:37
  Speaker 2: ultimately your body and your mind is being fed somehow.
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  Speaker 1: You talk about your mind and body being fed, and
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  Speaker 1: obviously you know you have, you have five belts, and
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  Speaker 1: you've been successful in your career. But for those of
• 8:54
  Speaker 1: you that are just getting to know Alicia and they're
• 8:58
  Speaker 1: going to be following your journey on July ten, I
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  Speaker 1: want to know what got you into boxing? What encouraged
• 9:08
  Speaker 1: or motivated the eight year old Alicia to start fighting. Yeah.
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  Speaker 2: Well, I have to start off by saying I'm from
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  Speaker 2: a small country town in Ohio, Fremont, and just being
• 9:20
  Speaker 2: in a town like Framont, you have to be able
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  Speaker 2: to dream to know that there's more outside of the
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  Speaker 2: small town that you grew up in that I grew
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  Speaker 2: up in. And you know, I was so thankful to
• 9:34
  Speaker 2: have a community gym that was free, which happened to
• 9:38
  Speaker 2: be boxing. That mind trainer opened its doors to the
• 9:43
  Speaker 2: community and that's where I started boxing. And my dad
• 9:47
  Speaker 2: one day came home he was like, hey, you know
• 9:49
  Speaker 2: wrestling is over with because I had Russell first, and
• 9:53
  Speaker 2: he was like, do you want to box? I'm like, yeah, sure.
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  Speaker 2: It was just like the competitiveness that I had in wrestling,
• 10:00
  Speaker 2: wrestling boys and like having to be like this only
• 10:04
  Speaker 2: girl to be in this space where it was only boys.
• 10:07
  Speaker 2: And so that built a confidence to say, yeah, I'll box,
• 10:10
  Speaker 2: not really knowing what I'm getting myself into. I'll do
• 10:13
  Speaker 2: it because I know what work ethic looks like and
• 10:16
  Speaker 2: what it is to be out there. And so when
• 10:20
  Speaker 2: I started boxing at eight, and I would just remember
• 10:23
  Speaker 2: walking to the gym again, same space, all boys, nothing
• 10:27
  Speaker 2: different though, the same mentality. You'll be like, Okay, I'm here,
• 10:31
  Speaker 2: you tell me what to do, I'm going to do it.
• 10:33
  Speaker 2: We had the same workout seventy push ups, seventy squad
• 10:37
  Speaker 2: seventy burpies, like every day, this is everyday workout. And
• 10:42
  Speaker 2: I was just happy to be in a sport where
• 10:45
  Speaker 2: it challenged me, not knowing where it would take me,
• 10:49
  Speaker 2: because as an adult now I needed that push enough,
• 10:53
  Speaker 2: that challenge to say, doesn't matter your gender, if you
• 10:57
  Speaker 2: have the mentality, if you have a confidence, if you
• 11:02
  Speaker 2: have the discipline, the dedication, the sacrifice at a young age,
• 11:07
  Speaker 2: something's going to come from that. And not really knowing
• 11:09
  Speaker 2: that that was instilling in me, but also like what
• 11:13
  Speaker 2: my dad was like showing me in that space because
• 11:16
  Speaker 2: my dad made me box, like you're going to do
• 11:18
  Speaker 2: this because they've seen something that I didn't. You know,
• 11:21
  Speaker 2: they knew there was a calling already. They saw that
• 11:26
  Speaker 2: I didn't, So it was just a moment of time
• 11:29
  Speaker 2: to take advantage of and I was just good at
• 11:32
  Speaker 2: doing sports, but not knowing that it was going to
• 11:35
  Speaker 2: be wrapped up in a different way now. Is like
• 11:38
  Speaker 2: I said, it's the mentality that matters.
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  Speaker 1: Yeah. Man, I'm loving this because I want to go
• 11:44
  Speaker 1: back to something you said growing up in Freedmont and
• 11:48
  Speaker 1: you said, you have to dream beyond this small place,
• 11:53
  Speaker 1: and my mind goes into the places that people are
• 11:58
  Speaker 1: unable to dream because they're living in the nightmare and
• 12:02
  Speaker 1: they're unable to dream because someone has robbed them of
• 12:07
  Speaker 1: their ability to dream. Because when you've had negative experience
• 12:12
  Speaker 1: or you've had trauma, it can have an impact on
• 12:15
  Speaker 1: you psychologically and emotionally to where you no longer think
• 12:19
  Speaker 1: about dreaming. You're just thinking about surviving. And my mind
• 12:23
  Speaker 1: is going to the place that eight year old Alicia
• 12:27
  Speaker 1: some way figure out to dream beyond not just this town,
• 12:33
  Speaker 1: but even the limits of the town, because I feel
• 12:37
  Speaker 1: like you have the city limits, and then you have
• 12:39
  Speaker 1: the limits that has been placed on the town. Because
• 12:42
  Speaker 1: if you've had people that grew up there and no
• 12:44
  Speaker 1: one became and no one did anything else beyond high school,
• 12:48
  Speaker 1: those are what I would call assume constraints, or are
• 12:54
  Speaker 1: constructs or limitations that have been placed that no one
• 12:58
  Speaker 1: talks about. So to dream in such a way to
• 13:04
  Speaker 1: see where you are? Now, what was that like for
• 13:07
  Speaker 1: you to dream? Where there other stories that you heard,
• 13:12
  Speaker 1: were there examples? How did you dream in such a
• 13:16
  Speaker 1: place that was small? Because sometimes small places have a
• 13:20
  Speaker 1: difficult time, I mean small places can have a big
• 13:24
  Speaker 1: impact on our belief system. Yeah.
• 13:26
  Speaker 2: I think it was part of the just a small
• 13:30
  Speaker 2: town of saying, hey, I can make it out out
• 13:33
  Speaker 2: of this small town. I can actually dream. And I remember,
• 13:36
  Speaker 2: I don't know what age I was, it's probably like seven.
• 13:39
  Speaker 2: I told myself, I don't want to live an average life.
• 13:42
  Speaker 2: Like I'm speaking out loud, I remember this. I'm like, Lord,
• 13:44
  Speaker 2: I don't want to live an average life. I want
• 13:46
  Speaker 2: to be somebody one day. And just knowing like the
• 13:50
  Speaker 2: story of what my parents told me them going to
• 13:54
  Speaker 2: church and getting prophesied and saying, you know, your daughter,
• 14:00
  Speaker 2: one of your child's gonna be famous. I don't like
• 14:02
  Speaker 2: the word famous, but they already knew something that I didn't.
• 14:06
  Speaker 2: So it was just like something that my my parents instilled.
• 14:11
  Speaker 2: It was just a good gravitational, Like no, my dad
• 14:14
  Speaker 2: will lecture me for hours, like two hours, like what
• 14:18
  Speaker 2: do you want to do when you grow up? You
• 14:20
  Speaker 2: gotta work hard at life. You can't just sit here.
• 14:22
  Speaker 2: You can't just you see what I'm doing. I'm going
• 14:25
  Speaker 2: to work every day. I don't want that for you.
• 14:26
  Speaker 2: And so like it was just the lectures. It was
• 14:29
  Speaker 2: the small town. It was hey, I can if they
• 14:32
  Speaker 2: said I can do that, I can do that. Like
• 14:34
  Speaker 2: what does that actually look like? What does it look
• 14:35
  Speaker 2: like to actually tap in and be like I want
• 14:38
  Speaker 2: to be something one day? You know, it doesn't when
• 14:40
  Speaker 2: people are like, follow your dreams, it's so cliche to me,
• 14:43
  Speaker 2: But I'm actually doing I just had that conversation with myself,
• 14:46
  Speaker 2: like it's actually happening and I'm living in it, but
• 14:49
  Speaker 2: I'm still dreaming through it. So it's just like it's
• 14:52
  Speaker 2: one of those things that's you don't realize until after. Yeah,
• 14:57
  Speaker 2: talk about it, but I just knew that there was
• 15:01
  Speaker 2: so much more impact that I was able to do
• 15:04
  Speaker 2: at a young age, immensely that I'm like telling myself
• 15:07
  Speaker 2: this and I want to say, that's the Lord just
• 15:10
  Speaker 2: speaking to me at that age to say there's something bigger.
• 15:14
  Speaker 2: I have a bigger assignment and this is just this
• 15:16
  Speaker 2: is not it, but it's the start of it.
• 15:18
  Speaker 1: It's the beginning. Yeah, the beginning. Yeah, man, I listen
• 15:22
  Speaker 1: when I tell you you're blessing me in this interview,
• 15:24
  Speaker 1: because at seven, I was at church with my mother
• 15:30
  Speaker 1: and it was a revival service and I'm a little
• 15:34
  Speaker 1: I can see myself right now walking up to the
• 15:37
  Speaker 1: prayer line and the lady says, oh, you want prayer
• 15:41
  Speaker 1: a little man, and I'm like yeah, you know, and
• 15:44
  Speaker 1: the lady lays hands on me and she falls out.
• 15:49
  Speaker 1: She lays hands on me and she falls out, and
• 15:51
  Speaker 1: so I'm like standing there as a kid, like what's
• 15:54
  Speaker 1: going on? So they picked her up and she goes,
• 15:58
  Speaker 1: whose kid is this? And my mom said, that's my son,
• 16:03
  Speaker 1: and she said, this young man has a calling on
• 16:06
  Speaker 1: his life. She said, this is a powerful young boy.
• 16:10
  Speaker 1: So she called my mom up there and she said,
• 16:13
  Speaker 1: you're going to have to walk with him because he
• 16:15
  Speaker 1: has an anointing on his life. Again, I don't know
• 16:18
  Speaker 1: what that means, as I'm sure you didn't, like, we
• 16:21
  Speaker 1: don't know what that means. But as you were talking,
• 16:24
  Speaker 1: I went back to seven year old Jade because it's
• 16:28
  Speaker 1: so important and for those that are watching, it's so
• 16:31
  Speaker 1: important that when something is on a child, it's so
• 16:36
  Speaker 1: important for a parent to push that and cultivate it.
• 16:40
  Speaker 1: How important was it to you that your parents poured
• 16:46
  Speaker 1: into the word that you received from that.
• 16:48
  Speaker 2: Prophetic Listen amen to that similar story. I go to
• 16:52
  Speaker 2: church to revival and I remember the pastor preaching and
• 16:58
  Speaker 2: you know, I've always seen people go back and Holy
• 17:00
  Speaker 2: Spirit all the time, but this time he had everyone
• 17:03
  Speaker 2: come up and he's just going down the line touching
• 17:05
  Speaker 2: people and I'm like, oh, he's not going to touch it.
• 17:07
  Speaker 2: I'm not going to go back. I'm challenging it. Right,
• 17:09
  Speaker 2: I'm like seven too, and I instantly went back and
• 17:15
  Speaker 2: I remember, I'll never forget that experience. So it's the
• 17:18
  Speaker 2: same experience I had, so just experiencing that at a
• 17:22
  Speaker 2: young age, knowing that, Okay, this is a different type
• 17:25
  Speaker 2: of power, This is an anointing that nothing other than
• 17:29
  Speaker 2: God can give you. You can't get away from it,
• 17:34
  Speaker 2: you can't run from it. And so again, like you said,
• 17:38
  Speaker 2: my parents recognizing that and pouring into that was so
• 17:42
  Speaker 2: needed and necessary because I am here today because of that,
• 17:47
  Speaker 2: you know, just growing up in church and just really
• 17:50
  Speaker 2: it's not even so much of the religious aspect, it's
• 17:52
  Speaker 2: just the the teaching, you know, the understanding of who
• 17:56
  Speaker 2: you are. And because I was allowed to see that
• 17:59
  Speaker 2: at a young age, on what God was showing me
• 18:01
  Speaker 2: and what my parents were telling me, I was able
• 18:04
  Speaker 2: to hold on to that as an adult and be like, ooh,
• 18:07
  Speaker 2: I'm not by myself.
• 18:08
  Speaker 1: Oh man, that's so it's not just me. What moments
• 18:13
  Speaker 1: that uh, that that challenge, that time when you were
• 18:18
  Speaker 1: holding on that happened because oftentimes, when you're chosen, no
• 18:22
  Speaker 1: one talks about the process of becoming.
• 18:26
  Speaker 2: Yeah, you know, multiple times I would say there was
• 18:31
  Speaker 2: a time where I was just down bad, and everything
• 18:36
  Speaker 2: just seemed to crumble down in a way where I'm like,
• 18:40
  Speaker 2: I don't I want to give up. I want to
• 18:42
  Speaker 2: give up, Like it just seems easier to give up.
• 18:45
  Speaker 2: You know. I remember having money in my bank account.
• 18:48
  Speaker 2: I'm like, that doesn't matter. I'm not happy. I'm on
• 18:51
  Speaker 2: the forod crying, crying out to the Lord to help me,
• 18:54
  Speaker 2: you know, to pull me from this dark space. And
• 18:57
  Speaker 2: only he could pull me from that dark space. So
• 19:00
  Speaker 2: going back to saying, hey, thank you for my parents
• 19:03
  Speaker 2: for instilling that in me, because I know I'm never
• 19:06
  Speaker 2: alone and if you call on him, he will be there.
• 19:09
  Speaker 2: But you have to understand that you're never alone, and
• 19:12
  Speaker 2: oftentimes that enemy will distort your mind if you like,
• 19:15
  Speaker 2: oh you are alone. You ain't got this. They not
• 19:18
  Speaker 2: calling you, they're not checking on you. You ain't got no money,
• 19:21
  Speaker 2: You down to your last dollar. What are you going
• 19:23
  Speaker 2: to do? My faith is all I got at the
• 19:27
  Speaker 2: end of the day, It's all I got. I I
• 19:29
  Speaker 2: have nothing. I have faith and I have the work
• 19:31
  Speaker 2: ethic to make something happen. And God will make something
• 19:34
  Speaker 2: happen with.
• 19:35
  Speaker 1: Me, sure will. Yeah. When man, this is like I'm
• 19:39
  Speaker 1: trying not to go into my teaching and preaching and
• 19:44
  Speaker 1: just prophetic mode. I'm try so hard because I can
• 19:48
  Speaker 1: feel the power of God on this episode. And here's why.
• 19:53
  Speaker 1: There are some battles that you can't fight physically, and
• 20:00
  Speaker 1: I don't think we talk enough about the battles that
• 20:03
  Speaker 1: you have to fight here, and those battles no one
• 20:09
  Speaker 1: sees because there isn't a ring. There's no there, James,
• 20:16
  Speaker 1: there is no one in the corner. There's no one
• 20:18
  Speaker 1: telling you move left, move right, turn you know what
• 20:22
  Speaker 1: I mean, Watch out for the jab. You know that
• 20:25
  Speaker 1: there's no one preparing you for man or woman, and
• 20:32
  Speaker 1: particularly for the women, because all of July we're interviewing women.
• 20:36
  Speaker 1: What would you say to the woman who is being
• 20:41
  Speaker 1: challenged mentally with battles that are not being physically fault
• 20:46
  Speaker 1: but mentally. Because I can tell that you have a
• 20:50
  Speaker 1: strong faith and walk with God, what would you say
• 20:53
  Speaker 1: to that woman?
• 20:54
  Speaker 2: I would say to that woman, knowing that what I
• 20:58
  Speaker 2: know now, it's just a moment in time that you
• 21:02
  Speaker 2: have to see it through. You have to see it
• 21:05
  Speaker 2: through because if you don't see it through, you'll never
• 21:07
  Speaker 2: know how strong you really are. What it is to
• 21:10
  Speaker 2: persevere through the struggle. Embrace the struggle, and embrace those
• 21:16
  Speaker 2: challenges that the Lord has given you, because there's nothing
• 21:20
  Speaker 2: better than wisdom at thirty one for me to speak about,
• 21:25
  Speaker 2: because only the only God can give me that because
• 21:27
  Speaker 2: of what I went through to understand what that looked
• 21:30
  Speaker 2: like to help somebody else. So it's just like you
• 21:33
  Speaker 2: have to see it through and you have to say,
• 21:35
  Speaker 2: you know, oftentimes we can be like, Lord, give me
• 21:38
  Speaker 2: out of this, but just pray for strength to get
• 21:40
  Speaker 2: me through this, because when you have the strength to
• 21:43
  Speaker 2: get through it, you'll understand it. You'll enjoy it at
• 21:47
  Speaker 2: the end in a way that you never thought you
• 21:49
  Speaker 2: would because the wisdom that you were able to gain
• 21:52
  Speaker 2: from it, and it just builds you. It builds character,
• 21:56
  Speaker 2: and nothing's better than character building.
• 21:58
  Speaker 1: Yes, man, you teach these folks, and I don't think
• 22:01
  Speaker 1: that's just for the women, but I think that's for
• 22:03
  Speaker 1: the men because we're in a climate where there's such anxiety,
• 22:10
  Speaker 1: that's such unrest, they're such angst amongst people. I hear
• 22:19
  Speaker 1: stories from so many people who are going through things,
• 22:22
  Speaker 1: and what I'm seeing is people are unwilling to see
• 22:27
  Speaker 1: it through because to go through it means I have
• 22:31
  Speaker 1: to endure. It's the pain. And I tell people often
• 22:35
  Speaker 1: the greatest thing that you can ask God for it's
• 22:39
  Speaker 1: not just patience, but the ability to endure. Because we
• 22:43
  Speaker 1: often think patient is about waiting. It's not. It's really enduring.
• 22:48
  Speaker 1: When you look at the context of the meaning, it's enduring.
• 22:52
  Speaker 1: And I love that you said see it through because
• 22:57
  Speaker 1: as a boxer you have to every round throat you
• 23:01
  Speaker 1: do for you when you are in the ring. How
• 23:06
  Speaker 1: much of your life experiences go in the ring with
• 23:10
  Speaker 1: you to help you navigate each round?
• 23:13
  Speaker 2: I would say all of it. I would say all
• 23:15
  Speaker 2: of it. I feel like that's why I feel like
• 23:17
  Speaker 2: God chose boxing for me, because it's so mental, and
• 23:20
  Speaker 2: it's also mean understanding that I'm healing in a way
• 23:25
  Speaker 2: through my trauma and issues. Through the ring. It's like
• 23:29
  Speaker 2: my outlets, like my sanctuary when I'm able to fight,
• 23:32
  Speaker 2: So like I'm taking all these things that I might
• 23:35
  Speaker 2: have buried deep inside years ago or months ago, and
• 23:40
  Speaker 2: now you have to deal with it face on because
• 23:42
  Speaker 2: boxing is here, and if this ain't right, then the
• 23:45
  Speaker 2: fight's gonna be off. So take that and use that
• 23:49
  Speaker 2: and let that be your drive on why you push
• 23:52
  Speaker 2: through and seen it through to get you to this
• 23:55
  Speaker 2: moment and not allow it to harden your heart. You know,
• 23:59
  Speaker 2: I've been through many hard things in life and people
• 24:02
  Speaker 2: who've done me wrong here and there, but it never
• 24:05
  Speaker 2: changed my heart and never made my heart cold as
• 24:08
  Speaker 2: easy as it could be. And I still use those
• 24:13
  Speaker 2: those times to let that fight for me, but not
• 24:17
  Speaker 2: in an anger way, born in a I got through this,
• 24:21
  Speaker 2: I forgave you. I still love you, I still pray
• 24:24
  Speaker 2: for you, but I'm able to fight through it and
• 24:27
  Speaker 2: show it in such a warrior way in the rings.
• 24:32
  Speaker 2: That's the way I get. That's the satisfaction I get
• 24:35
  Speaker 2: from it.
• 24:35
  Speaker 1: What what was your difficult sort of challenge when you
• 24:42
  Speaker 1: were in a ring and you couldn't figure opponent it
• 24:45
  Speaker 1: and you couldn't figure out your opponent? What was your
• 24:48
  Speaker 1: mental process? Knowing that you just said that, you take
• 24:51
  Speaker 1: so many things into the ring that you heal it.
• 24:53
  Speaker 1: Do you envision certain parts of your childhood or your
• 24:56
  Speaker 1: life to come up if you're trying to navigate through
• 24:59
  Speaker 1: something and when you ca I don't like man, how
• 25:01
  Speaker 1: do I get through this round? How do I get
• 25:02
  Speaker 1: through this fight? Does that happen? I know that happened
• 25:05
  Speaker 1: to me when I play.
• 25:06
  Speaker 2: Yeah, sometimes it does. But I can't let it like
• 25:08
  Speaker 2: overtake because it can get loud. So I have to
• 25:12
  Speaker 2: like tell myself like, okay, scratch that, go back to
• 25:15
  Speaker 2: your jab, like kind of like reset the mind to
• 25:18
  Speaker 2: not overthink it, because it's easy to overthink. But when
• 25:22
  Speaker 2: you when you've done it for so long, you can
• 25:26
  Speaker 2: you can take control of it. And that's another important part,
• 25:28
  Speaker 2: is taking control of your mind. And in that space
• 25:32
  Speaker 2: of just two minutes goes like this, So yeah, it's
• 25:37
  Speaker 2: every second matters in there. So you just wanting to
• 25:41
  Speaker 2: make sure that you're at a space where it's not overthinking,
• 25:45
  Speaker 2: but you're doing You're doing it, You're doing what you're
• 25:47
  Speaker 2: supposed to do.
• 25:49
  Speaker 1: Do it now. You you had this career, whens what
• 25:57
  Speaker 1: was it like to lose?
• 25:59
  Speaker 2: Losing? So that was the challenge part. I remember having
• 26:04
  Speaker 2: a fight. I was in Kentucky and it was a
• 26:08
  Speaker 2: great fight. It was it was a competitive fight, and
• 26:11
  Speaker 2: I lost and I remember instantly in that moment like
• 26:15
  Speaker 2: they rose her hand and I'm like damn, I said,
• 26:19
  Speaker 2: well I'm not gonna give up. I've been in it
• 26:21
  Speaker 2: too long. I've been in. I've put too many too
• 26:23
  Speaker 2: much time to give up. I'm like, it is what
• 26:25
  Speaker 2: it is, and I just charged to the game and
• 26:28
  Speaker 2: I went back to the gym and I trained. And
• 26:33
  Speaker 2: with that moment, I knew that my circle was so
• 26:37
  Speaker 2: messed up. Like outside, if that's not together, you are
• 26:41
  Speaker 2: not going to be one hundred percent that ran And
• 26:43
  Speaker 2: that's exactly the situation I found myself in. My corner
• 26:46
  Speaker 2: was messed up. I was going through things outside. I
• 26:48
  Speaker 2: should never even took the fight and all that. It
• 26:51
  Speaker 2: took me three years to get back to where I
• 26:55
  Speaker 2: wanted to be, you know, quote unquote wanted to be.
• 26:58
  Speaker 2: Oh yeah, three years.
• 27:01
  Speaker 1: It took from one loss over from one loss. Now,
• 27:05
  Speaker 1: I want to pause for a second, and I want
• 27:08
  Speaker 1: to look right in this camera. If you don't hear
• 27:11
  Speaker 1: anything else, she said, I want you to hear that
• 27:15
  Speaker 1: your environment determines the level that you succeed on, and
• 27:22
  Speaker 1: it also determines how you respond in certain seasons where
• 27:27
  Speaker 1: there are losses. I often see people, uh, and this
• 27:32
  Speaker 1: is something I had to learn early on. If you
• 27:35
  Speaker 1: don't choose well, you won't succeed well. You have to
• 27:39
  Speaker 1: choose well because the most dangerous thing is to have
• 27:44
  Speaker 1: people that are with you, but are not with you.
• 27:49
  Speaker 2: That's the fact. And Boston will show you that every time.
• 27:54
  Speaker 2: Boson's going to show you that every time. And it's
• 27:56
  Speaker 2: so important because I knew in that moment you lost
• 27:59
  Speaker 2: this fight because of your environment. You lost this fight
• 28:02
  Speaker 2: because the people you had around you. You lost this
• 28:04
  Speaker 2: fight because the people you thought were for you weren't
• 28:06
  Speaker 2: for you. They were just taglongs. And it's up to
• 28:10
  Speaker 2: you to decide in this moment what you're gonna do.
• 28:12
  Speaker 2: You know, I'm a very loyal person. I want to
• 28:15
  Speaker 2: do right by people. But at the same time, you
• 28:17
  Speaker 2: have to be also mindful and have wisdom that person
• 28:21
  Speaker 2: is not for me. They can support from the sidelines,
• 28:25
  Speaker 2: but they're not supposed to be with you side by side.
• 28:28
  Speaker 1: Oh you know, that's a bar. That's a bar, and
• 28:34
  Speaker 1: that's a bar because if there My mentor told me something.
• 28:41
  Speaker 1: He said, Jay, there's certain people that you have to
• 28:46
  Speaker 1: talk to through the fence, and there are certain people
• 28:50
  Speaker 1: that you talk to in your yard. But he said,
• 28:56
  Speaker 1: you have to be careful who gets on the porch. Hmm,
• 29:01
  Speaker 1: because if you missstake somebody that you should be talking
• 29:05
  Speaker 1: to through the fence and bring them on the porch.
• 29:08
  Speaker 1: They get inside, and he said, the trauma needs a host.
• 29:15
  Speaker 1: So when you was talking about attachments, these people need hosts.
• 29:21
  Speaker 1: And so what they do is they look for vacancies.
• 29:24
  Speaker 2: You know, it's crazy too, unknowingly unknowingly, yes, they don't
• 29:31
  Speaker 2: even know.
• 29:31
  Speaker 1: They don't know. Yeah, they don't even know it. Now,
• 29:36
  Speaker 1: I want to ask you this, how important is your
• 29:38
  Speaker 1: prayer life and what you do?
• 29:40
  Speaker 2: It's so important. It has to be important. It has
• 29:43
  Speaker 2: to be number one, honestly, because the prayer life is
• 29:48
  Speaker 2: going to show you everything you need to need to know.
• 29:50
  Speaker 2: And if I'm honest, sometimes I do fall off. Sometimes
• 29:54
  Speaker 2: I just pray in my mind. But I know how
• 29:56
  Speaker 2: important it is. This is to pray out loud because baby,
• 30:00
  Speaker 2: the dems get to trembling. But it's so important because
• 30:05
  Speaker 2: that's that's your way to the Lord of hearing you.
• 30:08
  Speaker 2: And that's why I believe me. Journaling is one way
• 30:12
  Speaker 2: that I pray and speak out loud, you know, having
• 30:16
  Speaker 2: conversations with the Lord. But it's so important because without
• 30:19
  Speaker 2: a prayer, I ain't got no backbone, for real, I
• 30:23
  Speaker 2: ain't nothing to fall back on. Because we ain't got
• 30:27
  Speaker 2: no back when you ain't got no foundation. There's stability, Yes,
• 30:32
  Speaker 2: you're looking for stability and other things. Some people can
• 30:36
  Speaker 2: give you that man, give me part of it, but
• 30:38
  Speaker 2: they can't give it to you the way the Lord
• 30:40
  Speaker 2: is going to give it to you. How he talks
• 30:42
  Speaker 2: about being building a house on rock or saying rock.
• 30:47
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I know that's right. We need the rock of salvation. Man,
• 30:51
  Speaker 1: that that Peter rock Man. Listen this, this conversation has
• 30:56
  Speaker 1: been been so fruitful and and been so just enlightened.
• 31:03
  Speaker 1: And what I love about this is the world is
• 31:06
  Speaker 1: getting to see a be the woman of the daughter
• 31:11
  Speaker 1: of God and just the vessel. Because as we were
• 31:15
  Speaker 1: talking before you got started, I think people will see
• 31:18
  Speaker 1: that WBC belt, which is a beautiful belt, and she
• 31:22
  Speaker 1: got hands from here until you know, next week in
• 31:28
  Speaker 1: July tenth, she's gonna be throwing them hands. But what
• 31:30
  Speaker 1: I love about this is that people are really to
• 31:33
  Speaker 1: get really getting to see your spirit. And I wish
• 31:37
  Speaker 1: that we could see more of people's spirit rather than
• 31:41
  Speaker 1: their personas and rather than what they do, and take
• 31:45
  Speaker 1: a peek into who are they? You know, who are they?
• 31:51
  Speaker 1: How do your parents like to see all that is
• 31:53
  Speaker 1: kind of coming to fruition. What is that like for
• 31:57
  Speaker 1: them and how are they on your journey?
• 32:01
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I would say my parents enjoy it so very much.
• 32:04
  Speaker 2: I think as a parent, when you've seen your own
• 32:07
  Speaker 2: child grow from a baby to an adult, you know
• 32:11
  Speaker 2: there's nothing but just thankfulness. You know that, you know
• 32:15
  Speaker 2: you want all your kids to make it in whatever
• 32:18
  Speaker 2: passion lay that is. And you know my parents, I
• 32:24
  Speaker 2: just know they're happy. You know, I lost my dad
• 32:26
  Speaker 2: a year ago, so and I just know that his
• 32:31
  Speaker 2: spirit is living. And like I said, everything that he's
• 32:35
  Speaker 2: instilled in me and my other sisters and my brother,
• 32:40
  Speaker 2: you know, there's a testament to that. There's a testament
• 32:43
  Speaker 2: to the story be like I'm gone, but she's gonna
• 32:46
  Speaker 2: do what she's going to do because I instilled that.
• 32:49
  Speaker 2: So my parents are happy. I know my mom's like
• 32:53
  Speaker 2: super excited to just to see it all on fold.
• 32:56
  Speaker 1: Yeah. And I have to ask you this because this
• 32:59
  Speaker 1: is the the therapy is in me. How has grieving
• 33:02
  Speaker 1: been for you?
• 33:04
  Speaker 2: Mmm, don't make me cry. It's okay, thank you, I'm fine.
• 33:12
  Speaker 2: Grieving's been. Grieving's been one of those things. It's up
• 33:15
  Speaker 2: and down. I would say, oh, I would say for
• 33:19
  Speaker 2: this camp. I you know, I put on a strong face.
• 33:23
  Speaker 2: I show up every day to do my job, just
• 33:25
  Speaker 2: like my dad would want me to do, and that
• 33:30
  Speaker 2: gets me through my day. But you know, I also
• 33:33
  Speaker 2: have my moments like this. I haven't cried in a while,
• 33:35
  Speaker 2: you know what I mean. So that's a good thing.
• 33:37
  Speaker 2: It's healthy. It's never it's never healing is never linear.
• 33:42
  Speaker 2: It's never like, oh, one day you're gonna be good.
• 33:44
  Speaker 2: You don't know. It can just hit you, you know
• 33:46
  Speaker 2: what I'm saying, Like it did now. But it's been
• 33:49
  Speaker 2: it's been a roller coaster. But it's been overall good
• 33:53
  Speaker 2: because I know the space that I'm in and what
• 33:55
  Speaker 2: I've been able to do to help myself heal. But
• 34:01
  Speaker 2: I know there's just more internal things, you know what
• 34:04
  Speaker 2: I'm saying, Because I may just be putting it off
• 34:07
  Speaker 2: because I have my boxing to help me with that,
• 34:09
  Speaker 2: to cope with that. But I am very realistic on
• 34:13
  Speaker 2: the situation that my dad's not coming back. For what
• 34:17
  Speaker 2: he's left has been gifts for me to hold on to.
• 34:23
  Speaker 2: If that was words of encouragement, if that was you know,
• 34:26
  Speaker 2: go to the gym and give your awe I can
• 34:29
  Speaker 2: hold on to that and be okay and know that
• 34:31
  Speaker 2: I can get through get through my day. But I'm
• 34:34
  Speaker 2: not going to allow it to detour me because I know,
• 34:40
  Speaker 2: I mean, losing appearance is one of the hardest things
• 34:43
  Speaker 2: you can do. But it's one of those things I'm
• 34:47
  Speaker 2: going healing through it.
• 34:50
  Speaker 1: Yeah, you know, thank you or all this moment of
• 34:59
  Speaker 1: all there is a thing that oftentimes we overlook about
• 35:16
  Speaker 1: the grieving process because it's such a process that there
• 35:25
  Speaker 1: is no formula. Yeah, they would give you the five
• 35:31
  Speaker 1: steps to grieving, the five steps up grieving, but there
• 35:35
  Speaker 1: is no level of understanding because I often say grief
• 35:41
  Speaker 1: is a price we pay for love. And as I'm
• 35:46
  Speaker 1: listening to you, and as I'm thinking about what your
• 35:51
  Speaker 1: father left in you and the legacy that carries because
• 35:59
  Speaker 1: now what he left in you, it's also in your DNA,
• 36:05
  Speaker 1: you know, it's also it's also now a part of Alicia. Yeah,
• 36:15
  Speaker 1: because you carry that now in your body, you carry
• 36:18
  Speaker 1: that in your work, you carry it in your language,
• 36:22
  Speaker 1: you carry that in your in the very essence of
• 36:25
  Speaker 1: who you are. And I'm proud of you because these
• 36:31
  Speaker 1: moments like we don't get often as athletes because I
• 36:37
  Speaker 1: gotta put on the helmet, I got to put the
• 36:39
  Speaker 1: gloves back on. I gotta get on the field. I
• 36:41
  Speaker 1: got to get in the ring. I got to get
• 36:43
  Speaker 1: back on the court. And no one really cares if
• 36:48
  Speaker 1: we agree, because I want to see you fight, right,
• 36:54
  Speaker 1: I want to see how well you want to perform.
• 36:57
  Speaker 1: So I'm proud of you for allowing yourself even to
• 37:03
  Speaker 1: grace because I grieve and my father's alive and I'm
• 37:17
  Speaker 1: and I'm saying to myself, like, man, you know, what
• 37:21
  Speaker 1: he put in me wasn't much, because I have to
• 37:24
  Speaker 1: find it at different places and I'm often finding myself
• 37:29
  Speaker 1: in corners where he's alive, and I'm like, man, why
• 37:34
  Speaker 1: can't you just pick up the phone and just check
• 37:35
  Speaker 1: on me and just be like, yo, you know what
• 37:38
  Speaker 1: I mean? And so what I love is that you
• 37:41
  Speaker 1: got to experience your dad put something in you.
• 37:45
  Speaker 2: He did, he did, and I'm so thankful for that.
• 37:48
  Speaker 2: And it's important to know that my dad wasn't my
• 37:53
  Speaker 2: biological dad. This is a man who stepped up to
• 37:56
  Speaker 2: the plate to be my father and to be my
• 37:58
  Speaker 2: dad at a baby. So this man has ensulled so
• 38:06
  Speaker 2: much in me. And that's why God is just who
• 38:09
  Speaker 2: God is. He's orchestrated, he's so intentional. You know that
• 38:16
  Speaker 2: even though he wasn't my biological father, he was my
• 38:19
  Speaker 2: dad who showed up every day. Who's who showed up
• 38:23
  Speaker 2: just And now I have that to hold on to,
• 38:26
  Speaker 2: and I know what a man's man looks like. I
• 38:29
  Speaker 2: know what it is to be a man who steps
• 38:33
  Speaker 2: up to the plate. These might not be my biological kids,
• 38:37
  Speaker 2: but these are my kids, and he did that for
• 38:41
  Speaker 2: the four of us. Wow, So he I'm thankful. You know,
• 38:47
  Speaker 2: he's the one who started me in boxing. He's the
• 38:49
  Speaker 2: one who lectured me in those in those times that
• 38:53
  Speaker 2: I didn't think I needed, but I did. And you know,
• 38:57
  Speaker 2: when it comes to boxing, I fight for him because
• 39:01
  Speaker 2: that's what he wanted. And I know that I am
• 39:04
  Speaker 2: able part of you was able to just show him
• 39:06
  Speaker 2: that he got to see me become a world champion
• 39:09
  Speaker 2: and just be there in his last dage. So it
• 39:13
  Speaker 2: was good.
• 39:13
  Speaker 1: That's so beautiful that that's so beautiful that he got
• 39:16
  Speaker 1: to see that. And it's so beautiful. You know, we
• 39:20
  Speaker 1: live in this climate where I hear men say, oh,
• 39:23
  Speaker 1: don't marry a woman with kids, don't step there and
• 39:26
  Speaker 1: all of this. Listen, man, y'all, y'all have to just
• 39:29
  Speaker 1: stop because that there are men and there are God
• 39:37
  Speaker 1: or being men like your father that may not be biological,
• 39:43
  Speaker 1: but they fathered you because they saw something not just
• 39:46
  Speaker 1: in your mother, but also saw something in you, the children.
• 39:51
  Speaker 1: And I just think that is so beautiful because look
• 39:56
  Speaker 1: what he left behind. And I often tell me and
• 40:00
  Speaker 1: legacy is not about who you leave behind. It's about
• 40:04
  Speaker 1: what you leave behind and who you put it into.
• 40:10
  Speaker 1: You know, because you can leave money to your own
• 40:12
  Speaker 1: children and they squander it, right, But what principles, what
• 40:19
  Speaker 1: life lessons and values and and and different you know,
• 40:25
  Speaker 1: tenants that a son or daughter can say, you're not here,
• 40:30
  Speaker 1: but you're here because of what you gave me. And
• 40:34
  Speaker 1: I love that for you. I love that for you.
• 40:38
  Speaker 1: So in closing a be I always ask every guest
• 40:41
  Speaker 1: this question, and and it's a question about healing. And
• 40:49
  Speaker 1: I know what healing means to me. I share this
• 40:52
  Speaker 1: in my episode. Healing from me is just discovering freedom,
• 40:56
  Speaker 1: emotional freedom. That's what I look for every day, to
• 40:59
  Speaker 1: be free, not for my emotion, but to have the
• 41:02
  Speaker 1: freedom through them. Yeah, So what is healing for you
• 41:07
  Speaker 1: when you think about healing.
• 41:08
  Speaker 2: Healing for me is the recipe of life. I would say,
• 41:13
  Speaker 2: you know, we're never going to go through life without
• 41:16
  Speaker 2: struggle or trials, but when you can heal through those things,
• 41:21
  Speaker 2: you see the joy on the other side, and you
• 41:25
  Speaker 2: don't know how much that can help somebody else. I remember,
• 41:28
  Speaker 2: I'm sure everybody remembers their first heartbreak. Man, that took
• 41:32
  Speaker 2: so much out of I said, tang lower life.
• 41:35
  Speaker 1: I'm talking, how were you.
• 41:37
  Speaker 2: I was twenty, it was my high school sweetheart. I'm like, oh, yeah,
• 41:43
  Speaker 2: this is it. This is the one man my heart
• 41:46
  Speaker 2: was broken. But like through all of that, you know,
• 41:50
  Speaker 2: I got to learn something what that healing looked like.
• 41:53
  Speaker 2: And as a thirty one year old now like okay,
• 41:56
  Speaker 2: I needed that, but I know that I could use
• 41:58
  Speaker 2: that now to help somebody. Was like, Hey, it's not
• 42:00
  Speaker 2: the end of the world. I promise you, there's a
• 42:03
  Speaker 2: lot more people out there. I promise you you don't
• 42:06
  Speaker 2: have to settle. I promise there's better men, you know.
• 42:10
  Speaker 2: And I'm happy that I can give that because that's
• 42:13
  Speaker 2: what life's about, is giving and receiving and just sharing
• 42:17
  Speaker 2: that wisdom and that the love that people all need
• 42:22
  Speaker 2: you know. Like you said, like the emotional part, I
• 42:24
  Speaker 2: feel like if I could tell anybody to men as well,
• 42:28
  Speaker 2: it's okay to feel it's okay to understand that you're
• 42:32
  Speaker 2: doing the best that you can each and every day.
• 42:34
  Speaker 2: I know that we have this this expectation for men
• 42:39
  Speaker 2: to just be a superhero every day. Listen, we all
• 42:43
  Speaker 2: are superheroes in our own way. But baby, you can
• 42:45
  Speaker 2: take that cape off when you go home. You can
• 42:47
  Speaker 2: kick your feet up. You can know that you did
• 42:50
  Speaker 2: your job as a man, as a provider, as a father,
• 42:55
  Speaker 2: and give yourself credit. And I know that the world
• 42:58
  Speaker 2: says otherwise, but maybe if you understand just who you
• 43:02
  Speaker 2: are and what God has called you to be, you'll
• 43:04
  Speaker 2: stop trying to compete with the next man. You'll compete
• 43:08
  Speaker 2: for God's love and his approval on who you are
• 43:11
  Speaker 2: each and every day. And maybe we can have some
• 43:14
  Speaker 2: better people and you can share that with the rest
• 43:16
  Speaker 2: of them.
• 43:18
  Speaker 1: That's one of the clips. CJ. If somebody told me
• 43:22
  Speaker 1: this is my podcast, they was like, stop talking to
• 43:25
  Speaker 1: your crew. I'm gonna talk for my folk because this
• 43:27
  Speaker 1: is our thing over here. You just spoke a word,
• 43:31
  Speaker 1: because let me tell you something. Some of you, brothers,
• 43:33
  Speaker 1: the cape is choking you to death. Ab Alicia, Alicia
• 43:40
  Speaker 1: Debam just said, take off the cape, baby, make it off.
• 43:47
  Speaker 1: And if you don't, she's gonna make you take it
• 43:49
  Speaker 1: off by putting these hands on you. Listen. I am
• 43:54
  Speaker 1: so encouraged because and this work that I do, it's lonely.
• 44:03
  Speaker 1: Because I look around. I'm not a football player anymore.
• 44:08
  Speaker 1: I don't wear a helmet. There's nothing shielding me, nothing
• 44:12
  Speaker 1: but the grace of God and his angels. And when
• 44:16
  Speaker 1: you just said, every day you're doing the best that
• 44:18
  Speaker 1: you can, because Ab, every day I'll open my eye,
• 44:24
  Speaker 1: that's not a day I had to receive, Doctor j
• 44:28
  Speaker 1: can you help us on my way here? I opened
• 44:33
  Speaker 1: up my DM and a lady dimly and she said
• 44:37
  Speaker 1: I was molested, and she said by my stepfather. Can
• 44:43
  Speaker 1: you please hold something where I can get healed? And
• 44:49
  Speaker 1: when you just said what you said about taking off
• 44:51
  Speaker 1: the cake. I have to remind myself daily that I'm
• 44:54
  Speaker 1: just a vesser. I'm not the Messiah. I'm not I'm
• 45:02
  Speaker 1: not Joshua Well, not kla Though I have some of
• 45:05
  Speaker 1: their attributes, I believe that I am a conduit. I
• 45:09
  Speaker 1: bring healing. I believe that I'm a river, not a reservoir,
• 45:13
  Speaker 1: because things flow through me. But man, I can't take
• 45:17
  Speaker 1: that phone and sometimes it's a wait because I want
• 45:21
  Speaker 1: to respond, I want to hear resources, I want to
• 45:24
  Speaker 1: make the phone call, but sometimes it's just heavy. So
• 45:28
  Speaker 1: you help me today just by reminding me, and I
• 45:32
  Speaker 1: know to take off the cake. But there's some time
• 45:34
  Speaker 1: I'm just like, man, I need to put this cape on. Yeah,
• 45:37
  Speaker 1: and not because I need to be validated indicate, but
• 45:40
  Speaker 1: because I feel like, man, I can help somebody else.
• 45:44
  Speaker 2: Yeah. No, And that's real. And again it's the expectations
• 45:47
  Speaker 2: that we hold for ourselves because of also the performance
• 45:51
  Speaker 2: that we've done as athletes. You know, I've I had
• 45:54
  Speaker 2: to learn that sometimes I was performing for people for
• 45:59
  Speaker 2: the the approval, because that's how you're going to recognize
• 46:03
  Speaker 2: me because of my performance. And I'm like, oh, let
• 46:06
  Speaker 2: me take a step back. That's not what it is.
• 46:08
  Speaker 2: That's what they're saying. But it's just important, like you said,
• 46:13
  Speaker 2: just to know that you're showing up the best way
• 46:16
  Speaker 2: you can each and every day. When you put the
• 46:18
  Speaker 2: work in, you can go to bed at night and
• 46:21
  Speaker 2: give things to the Lord and pray for the next
• 46:24
  Speaker 2: day to come and release that. Sometimes you just have
• 46:27
  Speaker 2: to release it when you know, you get a lot
• 46:30
  Speaker 2: of DMS and stuff is released to the Lord. Pray
• 46:33
  Speaker 2: over and release it because it happen.
• 46:35
  Speaker 1: But yeah, well, I got to do a lot of
• 46:37
  Speaker 1: praying because my deal because people be like I know them,
• 46:40
  Speaker 1: wouldn't be on DM. I'm like, man, these folks being
• 46:42
  Speaker 1: asking for sessions, they're asking for resources. They in a crisis.
• 46:47
  Speaker 1: It ain't nothing like what y'all be thinking. Man, these
• 46:50
  Speaker 1: folks is like doctors, say I need some help. If
• 46:52
  Speaker 1: I'll get no help, I'm done. So it's it's a
• 46:56
  Speaker 1: lot of praying and I thank God. Listen for my circle.
• 47:02
  Speaker 1: My mother. My mom has a couple of friends. They
• 47:05
  Speaker 1: pray every morning at three am for me. At three am,
• 47:11
  Speaker 1: she'll call me and we're calling your name, our doctor.
• 47:15
  Speaker 1: We was calling you out this morning. I needed because
• 47:20
  Speaker 1: this work is as fulfilling as it is, it's complicated
• 47:31
  Speaker 1: because healing is not linear and everyone won't get their
• 47:35
  Speaker 1: healing at the same time. They won't get at the
• 47:38
  Speaker 1: same place, and then everybody won't get ill. And I've
• 47:43
  Speaker 1: had to make peace yeah with that, yes, so, but listen, man,
• 47:50
  Speaker 1: I don't want to hold you. I want to encourage
• 47:53
  Speaker 1: those that are watching. Listen. This episode drops the second
• 47:58
  Speaker 1: Tuesday of June lie leading up to the biggest women's
• 48:04
  Speaker 1: boxing event in history, and it is featuring av the Bomb.
• 48:10
  Speaker 1: Alicia Bomb Gardner is going to be boxing. She's going
• 48:13
  Speaker 1: to be taking off somebody's head. I don't know the
• 48:16
  Speaker 1: young lady, but I'm gonna be praying for you because
• 48:20
  Speaker 1: let me tell you something. I saw her sparring and
• 48:23
  Speaker 1: i saw her hitting them past and I'm a grown
• 48:26
  Speaker 1: man and I'm like, please don't hit me like that.
• 48:29
  Speaker 1: So but I wish you much much success and blessings
• 48:34
  Speaker 1: on your upcoming fire and that you go in there
• 48:37
  Speaker 1: and do what you always do, and that's compete to
• 48:40
  Speaker 1: the highest and the best of your ability.
• 48:42
  Speaker 2: Yes, listen, I'm so excited. July eleventh.
• 48:46
  Speaker 1: Oh, July eleven, Yeah, July eleven.
• 48:47
  Speaker 2: Oh, the honest love on Netflix. And just one more thing,
• 48:51
  Speaker 2: I want people to know. I'm gonna send her baby,
• 48:53
  Speaker 2: I said every day, and I'm not perfect, and I
• 48:57
  Speaker 2: think sometimes people will have to stop looking on the outside.
• 49:02
  Speaker 2: There's so much trauma that I'm still learning to get
• 49:09
  Speaker 2: through and to scramble through. And every day I fall by,
• 49:13
  Speaker 2: I get back up because there's no there's no let up.
• 49:18
  Speaker 2: I will never give up. There's there's I can't. God
• 49:21
  Speaker 2: doesn't give me the option to. I swear like there's
• 49:26
  Speaker 2: no option. There's no option.
• 49:27
  Speaker 1: Now, I tell you I want to let go. Every
• 49:29
  Speaker 1: day I want to let go.
• 49:32
  Speaker 2: There's no options. I'm like, yo, you don't have to.
• 49:34
  Speaker 2: You don't have to chalk it up, cry about it,
• 49:36
  Speaker 2: talk about it, but get back up and do it.
• 49:39
  Speaker 2: And you might not be doing it the way they
• 49:41
  Speaker 2: say you need to do it, but you're doing it.
• 49:43
  Speaker 2: You're doing something. So just know that, like every day,
• 49:48
  Speaker 2: I'm an unperfect human and I'm okay with that. I
• 49:52
  Speaker 2: can I can go to see and still try my
• 49:55
  Speaker 2: best each and every day.
• 49:56
  Speaker 1: Yes, I love it again. Scratch not ten July eleven
• 50:02
  Speaker 1: on Netflix. I know y'all got Netflix, and I know
• 50:04
  Speaker 1: they've changed, uh some of their settings, and so you
• 50:07
  Speaker 1: can't use your mama and them Netflix, but get somewhere
• 50:11
  Speaker 1: where you can watch ab go to work and for
• 50:14
  Speaker 1: her to bring home another belt and for her to
• 50:17
  Speaker 1: continue doing her thing, and we speak blessings over this
• 50:21
  Speaker 1: fight that she going there man and do her thing,
• 50:24
  Speaker 1: and I'm excited and listen. Remember, healing is a journey
• 50:30
  Speaker 1: and wholeness is the destination. Until next time. Subscribe cool here,
• 50:42
  Speaker 1: then it's wild.
• 50:43
  Speaker 2: I'm editing you got you?
• 50:45
  Speaker 1: Sorry? Yeah? I know you editing. I know that, So listen,
• 50:53
  Speaker 1: don't just pull up and listen. Join our healing community
• 50:57
  Speaker 1: by subscribing to Just Heal with that Doctor Jay the
• 51:00
  Speaker 1: podcast Listen when you can watch some amazing conversations that
• 51:04
  Speaker 1: are invoking chains, that are provoking thoughts that is also
• 51:08
  Speaker 1: expanding your mental capacity by listening to the stories and
• 51:12
  Speaker 1: the lives of others as they share their journey and
• 51:15
  Speaker 1: also share the like with you. And once again, you
• 51:19
  Speaker 1: can listen audibly on the Black Effect Podcasts and also
• 51:23
  Speaker 1: on iHeart podcast Network or wherever you listen to your
• 51:26
  Speaker 1: podcast and until next time, healing is a journey and
• 51:31
  Speaker 1: wholeness is the destination. Just Here with Doctor j a
• 51:35
  Speaker 1: production of the Black Effect podcast Network. For more podcasts
• 51:39
  Speaker 1: from iHeartRadio, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever
• 51:43
  Speaker 1: you listen to your favorite shows. And you can follow
• 51:46
  Speaker 1: me at King J. Barnett on Instagram and x and
• 51:50
  Speaker 1: follow us on YouTube just here, doctor j