Latest / The Ben and Ashley I Almost Famous Podcast / A Decade of Love with Desiree & Chris Siegfried
Transcript
- 0:00Speaker 1: This is the Ben and Ashley i Almost Famous podcast
- 0:03Speaker 1: with iHeartRadio.
- 0:05Speaker 2: It's Almost Fau podcast.
- 0:06Speaker 3: We are here today with two people who met on
- 0:11Speaker 3: this show and are celebrating an anniversiary. It's Dezen Chris.
- 0:17Speaker 3: Welcome to the Almost Famous Podcast.
- 0:19Speaker 4: Thanks for having us, Thank you for being here. So
- 0:24Speaker 4: you guys today we're recording this January seventeenth, and tomorrow,
- 0:29Speaker 4: January eighteenth, is your ten year wedding anniversary.
- 0:32Speaker 5: Congratulations, thank you. Yeah, we made it ten years.
- 0:39Speaker 4: Such a successful bachelor couple. Are you guys number two
- 0:42Speaker 4: in line with Trista and Ryan.
- 0:44Speaker 5: No, there's well, I mean there's the picts.
- 0:48Speaker 4: Oh, the Meds next, Okay, yes, Count and Sean Katherine
- 0:51Speaker 4: a year before you Ben and Catherine.
- 0:53Speaker 6: Yeah, we're the course. Yeah that's not.
- 0:58Speaker 3: As cool like being second was going to be awesome
- 1:00Speaker 3: and now you're like, yeah, we're four, yeah a little bit.
- 1:05Speaker 4: Do you guys have big plans for the tenure.
- 1:08Speaker 5: No, we don't because we just had Noah, we're kind
- 1:12Speaker 5: of in the thick of a newborn, so we're gonna
- 1:15Speaker 5: be going to Hawaii at the end of the month.
- 1:17Speaker 5: So we're like, let's just and we'll just plan on
- 1:19Speaker 5: that being some sort of you know, celebration that's.
- 1:24Speaker 4: Counts.
- 1:25Speaker 3: That brings up my first question because I'm going to
- 1:27Speaker 3: make this about me for a second.
- 1:31Speaker 5: Congratulations, thank you.
- 1:33Speaker 3: We are like a month away, less than a month
- 1:35Speaker 3: away from our from the very first.
- 1:38Speaker 6: Oh wow, we have the most kids.
- 1:41Speaker 4: You don't John and Catherine too or tired with you?
- 1:44Speaker 5: Oh yeah, John and Catherine have second?
- 1:46Speaker 6: Thanks?
- 1:47Speaker 2: Yeah, second.
- 1:50Speaker 3: I tonight, actually, Jessica and I are going for a
- 1:53Speaker 3: very nice dinner day because we kind of assume it's
- 1:57Speaker 3: going to be one of our last before babies here.
- 2:01Speaker 3: Give me any advice you have. You have three, and
- 2:05Speaker 3: so it changes a lot.
- 2:07Speaker 2: I bet.
- 2:08Speaker 3: But when you guys look at your relationship, keeping any
- 2:11Speaker 3: type of like romance or just you time together, how
- 2:14Speaker 3: do you two do it?
- 2:16Speaker 2: Or do you not?
- 2:17Speaker 6: You just ask.
- 2:22Speaker 4: I didn't understand the joke for a second. I think
- 2:27Speaker 4: that is the most perfect way of saying it.
- 2:29Speaker 6: We definitely utilize family.
- 2:32Speaker 7: We moved back from Seattle to Portland area, and we've
- 2:35Speaker 7: got her parents now live here, My parents live here,
- 2:38Speaker 7: my brother lives here, and so if we need a break, thankfully,
- 2:43Speaker 7: we like our family and they're willing to watch the
- 2:46Speaker 7: kiddos awk keep talking. It's gonna get hard. It's definitely harder, right,
- 2:53Speaker 7: but it's also super fun.
- 2:56Speaker 2: Yeah, are you tired right now?
- 2:58Speaker 7: So I'll let you know a little secret. I feel great.
- 3:01Speaker 7: I feel great. That is sleeping in the baby's room.
- 3:04Speaker 7: So I feel great.
- 3:06Speaker 3: Yeah, that's a strategy. Actually, I don't think we've talked
- 3:08Speaker 3: about this yet. That was advised to Jessica and I,
- 3:12Speaker 3: and that Jessica was the one that said she wanted
- 3:15Speaker 3: to do. It's the sleeping arrangement. She wants me to
- 3:19Speaker 3: sleep in a separate room for the first like five weeks,
- 3:23Speaker 3: and we're gonna do like a shift thing, like I
- 3:25Speaker 3: get six hours straight asleep, wake up care for the
- 3:28Speaker 3: baby for like four or something whenever she knows that
- 3:31Speaker 3: hopefully you know, the baby doesn't need to be feeding,
- 3:35Speaker 3: and get like she's going to get four solid hours
- 3:37Speaker 3: of sleep uninterrupted and then like we're going to kind
- 3:40Speaker 3: of do that for through the evening. Could because her
- 3:43Speaker 3: philosophy was like, there's no use of us both being tired.
- 3:47Speaker 3: One of us should be tired, but the other one
- 3:49Speaker 3: should like try to get as much rest as possible.
- 3:51Speaker 2: Does that make sense? Everybody?
- 3:53Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, that was perfect.
- 3:55Speaker 5: Yeah, because we you know, this is our third and
- 3:58Speaker 5: we didn't do that with our other because we didn't
- 4:01Speaker 5: really did we have an extra room, babe, I don't
- 4:04Speaker 5: even remember if definitely didn't have a bed in the
- 4:07Speaker 5: baby's room and we I mean we had a guest room,
- 4:10Speaker 5: but I guess we just didn't utilize it. And so
- 4:13Speaker 5: with the third, I was like, I can't handle when
- 4:17Speaker 5: we both aren't getting sleep because then like you're both
- 4:21Speaker 5: just honestly at your worst and kind of like short,
- 4:26Speaker 5: and you know, it just causes tension that's not necessary.
- 4:31Speaker 5: And so I was like, you know, I'll just go
- 4:34Speaker 5: in the baby's room because we have a murphy bed
- 4:36Speaker 5: because it used to be a guest room, and so
- 4:40Speaker 5: it's actually been amazing.
- 4:42Speaker 2: Yeah, so you'd recommend it.
- 4:44Speaker 5: I would recommend it. I've even been trying to transition
- 4:47Speaker 5: back to our room and like I'm just not sleeping
- 4:50Speaker 5: as well because the monitor like will go off and
- 4:53Speaker 5: he's like faking me out with like rolling over, like.
- 4:56Speaker 4: Yo, the fake out to the monitor's actually the kill
- 5:00Speaker 4: to me. I still have this like every day. Yeah, yeah,
- 5:05Speaker 4: how how old is your youngest? He'll be six months
- 5:09Speaker 4: in a couple of days.
- 5:10Speaker 5: Yeah, so you're still in it too.
- 5:12Speaker 4: Yeah, I Jared and I haven't been as good this
- 5:16Speaker 4: time around because he kind of he kind of falls
- 5:20Speaker 4: asleep during feedings. So I take them. I just take
- 5:23Speaker 4: the nighttime.
- 5:24Speaker 5: Yeah, I mean, I just make the nighttime Chris, so
- 5:26Speaker 5: that Chris can so that Chris can handle the other
- 5:30Speaker 5: boys because he wakes up earlier, He makes breakfast, he
- 5:34Speaker 5: does all the things so that I can just sometimes
- 5:38Speaker 5: get a little extra sleep.
- 5:41Speaker 4: Yeah, I'm the one who preferred to sleep in, agreed
- 5:43Speaker 4: and catch up that way.
- 5:45Speaker 2: So interesting, This is so fun the time of life.
- 5:48Speaker 3: Look at us, We're holding babies, talking about babies, and talking.
- 5:53Speaker 2: About this wild show that you two met on.
- 5:56Speaker 3: Now, before we dive into your story, I think we
- 6:00Speaker 3: should all comment as much as we feel comfortable about
- 6:02Speaker 3: the topic I'm about to bring up. But my wife
- 6:05Speaker 3: last night, who doesn't really follow the show and has
- 6:10Speaker 3: very little interest in the show, goes, what is this about?
- 6:12Speaker 2: Because she loves these people.
- 6:14Speaker 3: There was a headline about Trista and Ryan having marital problems.
- 6:18Speaker 3: Do we know anything about this? Is this a story?
- 6:20Speaker 4: Now?
- 6:20Speaker 2: Is this just like rumors?
- 6:23Speaker 4: What do we say this is it residual from the
- 6:25Speaker 4: holes she spoke outside yesterday?
- 6:29Speaker 5: Did she really?
- 6:30Speaker 2: Yeah?
- 6:31Speaker 5: Well, I didn't understand because obviously I love them both
- 6:34Speaker 5: and follow them both, but I didn't even understand where
- 6:37Speaker 5: the it first came from. Like why did people speculate?
- 6:41Speaker 4: Oh, because he was writing these very weird posts on
- 6:44Speaker 4: Instagram while she was away filming Special Forces about her
- 6:48Speaker 4: like being away from the family for so long, but
- 6:51Speaker 4: her needing to like do and do this for herself
- 6:54Speaker 4: and explore and challenge herself. And it was all cryptic
- 6:58Speaker 4: because nobody really knew it was Special Forces. He was
- 7:00Speaker 4: like writing diary entries online.
- 7:04Speaker 5: Yeah, he was probably doing that because she would see it,
- 7:08Speaker 5: or because they probably didn't have their phone.
- 7:12Speaker 2: Yeah.
- 7:12Speaker 3: I think he was trying to be like sweet, you know,
- 7:14Speaker 3: like Chris does like nice notes and a lot of
- 7:17Speaker 3: love like language to you to like make sure that
- 7:19Speaker 3: you he's thinking about you exactly.
- 7:27Speaker 4: But then we have confirmation here from our producer it
- 7:30Speaker 4: was just a recirculated rumor from those whole Special Forces
- 7:33Speaker 4: good diary entries.
- 7:34Speaker 3: Let's shut it down here on the Almost Favorite podcast
- 7:36Speaker 3: because just to works.
- 7:37Speaker 5: With Almost they've got a strong relationship.
- 7:44Speaker 3: Yeah, good, I love it. Okay, now onto YouTube, Ashley
- 7:48Speaker 3: take it away.
- 7:49Speaker 4: Okay, so you guys, what has been the Yeah, kind
- 7:55Speaker 4: of like still in the baby thing. You've been married
- 7:56Speaker 4: ten years now thanks to the show. What was the
- 8:00Speaker 4: difficult point of your relationship? Was it coming off the show?
- 8:03Speaker 4: Was it the first kid, the second kid, the third kid.
- 8:07Speaker 5: I don't know. I feel like it might be different
- 8:09Speaker 5: answers for each of us.
- 8:10Speaker 2: I love that.
- 8:12Speaker 5: Yeah, for me, it was definitely coming off the show,
- 8:14Speaker 5: because it was like, it's just a lot, as you
- 8:17Speaker 5: guys know, it's just a lot to deal with people
- 8:21Speaker 5: and the expectations and the pressures and like, while you're
- 8:25Speaker 5: also navigating a new relationship, Like that's a enough in itself,
- 8:30Speaker 5: So to have all the other like eyes on you,
- 8:33Speaker 5: it was really really difficult for me because I'm also
- 8:36Speaker 5: like super introverted and reserved and I don't like people
- 8:39Speaker 5: in my business, which you know that made it hard
- 8:45Speaker 5: with being public. But I don't know. I think for
- 8:49Speaker 5: me that was the hardest because it was also navigating
- 8:51Speaker 5: a new relationship and I was in a new location
- 8:56Speaker 5: trying to meet new people. Chris was busy with work,
- 9:00Speaker 5: and so when you come off of the show, You're
- 9:03Speaker 5: now introduced to each other's like daily quirks and also
- 9:08Speaker 5: daily stresses. And I think in any relationship, regardless of
- 9:11Speaker 5: coming off the show or not, like you're still working
- 9:14Speaker 5: on like how each other communicate and all of those
- 9:18Speaker 5: different things. So yeah, definitely right off the show.
- 9:22Speaker 7: Yeah, I remember when Dad's and I first got off
- 9:25Speaker 7: the show. We would be we'd be going on walks
- 9:28Speaker 7: in Seattle around this certain lake, Green Lake, and I'd
- 9:33Speaker 7: have to be like, don't read comments right of what
- 9:36Speaker 7: people post, because it really got to hurt. You know,
- 9:40Speaker 7: people are people are psychoed with what they say, and
- 9:43Speaker 7: so that was definitely a stressor.
- 9:45Speaker 6: I think.
- 9:48Speaker 7: For me, you know, we were we moved in together
- 9:52Speaker 7: right away. I was at the beginning stages of my career,
- 9:57Speaker 7: which is, you know, sales and it can be stressed.
- 10:00Speaker 7: So just balancing like having someone around twenty four to seven, right,
- 10:05Speaker 7: and a relationship engaged, having the social pressures around you.
- 10:11Speaker 7: But I think mostly just like starting off in your
- 10:17Speaker 7: career and you're like, all right, we're engaged. Here we go,
- 10:20Speaker 7: let's rock and roll. You're moving into the city, and
- 10:23Speaker 7: I want to make it as comfortable as possible. That
- 10:25Speaker 7: part was kind of probably the hardest part.
- 10:38Speaker 3: It's interesting to me and tell me if I'm crazy
- 10:41Speaker 3: here and Ashley, I think you'll be the one that
- 10:43Speaker 3: with the biggest opinion on this.
- 10:45Speaker 2: The Bachelor does this.
- 10:46Speaker 3: Bachelor and Bacherette kind of have this very if you
- 10:50Speaker 3: look back on it, similar kind of vibe for like
- 10:55Speaker 3: six seasons, right, So there's like a six season span
- 10:59Speaker 3: where so many things feel similar, the people feel similar. Yeah,
- 11:03Speaker 3: you know, the governments, generations. You very much get to
- 11:06Speaker 3: see a very like clear identifier of of what the
- 11:10Speaker 3: generation looks like from the show. Because I'm thinking about
- 11:14Speaker 3: your story and Chris, like, you never stopped really working.
- 11:17Speaker 3: I mean you obviously went on the show, but you
- 11:19Speaker 3: continued your career. Mesnick did the same thing. I don't
- 11:22Speaker 3: know necessarily what Sean did at the time, but you
- 11:25Speaker 3: all kind of have feel like you had this same philosophy,
- 11:29Speaker 3: like I'm on the show to meet somebody. I've met somebody.
- 11:32Speaker 3: Uh now, let's make this thing work beyond kind of
- 11:36Speaker 3: let's do all these other things on top of it
- 11:38Speaker 3: that could be distracting to this relationship. Would you agree
- 11:42Speaker 3: with that statement that that kind of marked your time
- 11:45Speaker 3: on this show? And the people kind of that were
- 11:47Speaker 3: around you.
- 11:49Speaker 6: Yeah, one hundred percent.
- 11:51Speaker 7: One of the biggest things that we we attribute our
- 11:53Speaker 7: success to is getting out of the lime light pretty quickly,
- 11:56Speaker 7: right Like we you know, a lot of people, you know,
- 12:00Speaker 7: their credit or fault, they'll they'll want to move to
- 12:02Speaker 7: LA They'll want to get into the limelight, and it's like, look,
- 12:06Speaker 7: I wasn't famous before or famous that like Z list, let's.
- 12:12Speaker 6: Go as famous almost Oh my gosh.
- 12:16Speaker 7: So we weren't you know, really looking for that before
- 12:20Speaker 7: and then it happens and you're like, well, I don't
- 12:23Speaker 7: need to move to pursue something that I wasn't trying
- 12:27Speaker 7: to pursue before. So we we thought that removing ourselves
- 12:30Speaker 7: from that situation, right, like getting into normal lives and
- 12:33Speaker 7: seeing if that would work was probably one of the
- 12:35Speaker 7: biggest reasons of our success. We didn't chase something that
- 12:40Speaker 7: we weren't comfortable with at the time.
- 12:42Speaker 3: Was that a clear conversation that the two of you
- 12:46Speaker 3: had together, Like do you remember having those conversations?
- 12:49Speaker 6: Yeah? On the show, Oh.
- 12:51Speaker 5: Yeah, we talked about like location and like where we
- 12:54Speaker 5: would go.
- 12:55Speaker 7: It was kind of a big thing because they kind
- 12:57Speaker 7: of made it a thing. We were like, Chris has
- 12:59Speaker 7: an ultimatum, like will she move? And it was a
- 13:02Speaker 7: big question that I had to ask her because I'm like, look,
- 13:05Speaker 7: I can't move to California. I've got this thing that
- 13:08Speaker 7: I think might work out in Seattle. Are you willing
- 13:10Speaker 7: to move? And so there's a little bit of a
- 13:13Speaker 7: hype around that, right.
- 13:14Speaker 5: But yeah, I think I think honestly, we didn't really
- 13:19Speaker 5: need to talk about like, oh, hey, do you want
- 13:22Speaker 5: to be famous after this, because like we both didn't
- 13:27Speaker 5: even like expect like we had no expectations going into
- 13:32Speaker 5: the show, and like we also like didn't want that,
- 13:37Speaker 5: like fame was never a driving thing, Like I honestly,
- 13:40Speaker 5: it was a surprise I even got on the show.
- 13:42Speaker 5: Like my friends were so shocked because I'm not, like
- 13:46Speaker 5: I just never have ever wanted that attention. I don't
- 13:49Speaker 5: even like attention in small groups. So it was really
- 13:53Speaker 5: interesting and I think it just that's a testament to
- 13:56Speaker 5: why it worked, because we weren't pursuing out side attention,
- 14:01Speaker 5: you know, and there wasn't that competitiveness for attention that
- 14:06Speaker 5: I think happens now where like the lead and whoever
- 14:11Speaker 5: they choose, like there's a lot of opportunity, and if
- 14:16Speaker 5: they aren't in that opportunity together and one is getting
- 14:20Speaker 5: maybe more attention, like it can cause I think some friction.
- 14:25Speaker 2: Yeah, there's the comparison to today too.
- 14:28Speaker 3: I think with a lot of contestants leads coming off
- 14:32Speaker 3: the show, it's kind of looking at whether is what
- 14:35Speaker 3: others have done? And to some people's credits, they've done
- 14:38Speaker 3: incredible things based on the show. And now you have
- 14:41Speaker 3: that example of people who have made a living, made
- 14:43Speaker 3: a career, made a name for themselves, and they came
- 14:46Speaker 3: from the show.
- 14:48Speaker 2: But that also sets a whole new.
- 14:49Speaker 3: Standard, right, we don't all look around and say, oh,
- 14:52Speaker 3: everybody's kind of doing the same thing. I have to
- 14:54Speaker 3: pause here, Chris, this is a question for you. Dos
- 14:58Speaker 3: just did something I don't even.
- 14:59Speaker 7: Know what was?
- 15:00Speaker 4: Says she did a great job at it.
- 15:04Speaker 3: Yeah, kangaroo pouch while she's talking without looking. Is there
- 15:11Speaker 3: ever a moment? Because I'm in this right now with
- 15:13Speaker 3: my wife, seeing her just carry a baby and care
- 15:17Speaker 3: for this baby that's still inside of her and think
- 15:20Speaker 3: about this baby and talk to this it's wild and
- 15:23Speaker 3: I'm I'm falling more in love with Jessica. But I
- 15:27Speaker 3: don't even want to say it that way. I'm just
- 15:28Speaker 3: like in more in awe. I think at this point, like,
- 15:31Speaker 3: oh my goodness, how in the world did I meet
- 15:34Speaker 3: somebody who's able to do this? And actually, I'm sure
- 15:36Speaker 3: Jared has these moments with you, so to go to
- 15:38Speaker 3: you too.
- 15:39Speaker 2: But Chris, going.
- 15:41Speaker 4: Back to sorry, he feels like that with me with
- 15:45Speaker 4: the children when he sees me with the children, not
- 15:48Speaker 4: when I was pregnant, No moments of that when I
- 15:51Speaker 4: was pregnant. He's like, can this thing come out of her?
- 15:55Speaker 2: Chris?
- 15:55Speaker 3: Is ever a moment for you? I mean, I'm sure
- 15:59Speaker 3: there is. Well you sit back and you're like, how
- 16:01Speaker 3: in the hell did this work out the way it did?
- 16:04Speaker 3: And I'm watching so many things I love and this
- 16:08Speaker 3: woman care for these things, like just walk us through
- 16:10Speaker 3: what your emotions are as you watch does do stuff
- 16:13Speaker 3: like that? And you meant on the show, yeah, it's crazy.
- 16:16Speaker 7: I mean, the whole the whole female having a baby
- 16:20Speaker 7: thing is just absolutely insane, right, yeah, And you know,
- 16:24Speaker 7: does you know to her credit is I don't want
- 16:28Speaker 7: to say a warrior because I don't know if that's
- 16:30Speaker 7: the right word, but she's had she's had three natural
- 16:33Speaker 7: births and she's had two of them at home, and
- 16:36Speaker 7: just to like see that gives me a greater appreciation
- 16:41Speaker 7: for her and her strength, right and her ability to
- 16:45Speaker 7: just you know what what Ben and I would say,
- 16:49Speaker 7: sack up right like she is. It's so impressive that
- 16:53Speaker 7: she can do this, and yeah, I mean, I am
- 16:56Speaker 7: definitely will be the word I'm. I think it brings
- 17:04Speaker 7: me closer to her, just because the fact that she's
- 17:06Speaker 7: i mean, on the daily, she's right now helping with
- 17:11Speaker 7: three boys, right, like I'm at the office up you
- 17:15Speaker 7: know more now, but she's taking care of three kids.
- 17:20Speaker 7: I get home and it it seems like everything's controlled right,
- 17:23Speaker 7: and it's just it looks great.
- 17:25Speaker 6: And then she'll be like she'll she'll give me the
- 17:27Speaker 6: yes or no.
- 17:28Speaker 7: She's like, no, today was nuts or yeah, today's going fine, right,
- 17:31Speaker 7: And just to be able to manage all that, right,
- 17:35Speaker 7: it's it's attractive and it's I'm just impressed because me. Okay,
- 17:40Speaker 7: So for me after baby number one, when we had
- 17:43Speaker 7: baby number one.
- 17:44Speaker 6: I would lose it.
- 17:46Speaker 7: Yeah, I would lose my mind, like because I don't
- 17:49Speaker 7: do really well with loud noises unless it's like music.
- 17:52Speaker 6: So everything but music or everything.
- 17:55Speaker 7: Yeah, and so you know, Asher would We had a
- 17:59Speaker 7: rough time with Asher at the beginning where he would
- 18:01Speaker 7: cry a lot and we just kind of figure it out.
- 18:03Speaker 7: And then maybe this is a good piece of advice
- 18:06Speaker 7: if you want it right with maybe one if baby
- 18:09Speaker 7: cried a lot, do not just say I know you
- 18:13Speaker 7: got this, well, yeah, he.
- 18:20Speaker 5: Can't handle like the You know what, I think it's
- 18:23Speaker 5: hard for fathers because men want to control, like, you know,
- 18:28Speaker 5: like you want to be able to help, You want
- 18:30Speaker 5: to be able to fix the problem. You want to
- 18:32Speaker 5: be able to like problem solve, and you can't really
- 18:37Speaker 5: do that with a newborn. You know. It's typically the
- 18:41Speaker 5: newborn wants to the mom, they want to feed, they
- 18:43Speaker 5: want all of that. And I think it's you know,
- 18:46Speaker 5: there's like that overwhelmed that can bubble up because you're
- 18:51Speaker 5: just like, I can't control this situation.
- 18:54Speaker 4: So so true.
- 18:57Speaker 6: There's one thing I would actually hundred percent suggest is if.
- 19:02Speaker 7: Like I would go into the other rib and be like,
- 19:03Speaker 7: all right, I'm gonna go try and help them right
- 19:06Speaker 7: as sure, And then I couldn't figure out I couldn't
- 19:10Speaker 7: get him to call them down, so you put them
- 19:12Speaker 7: on the ground. You never put them on a table.
- 19:14Speaker 7: You never put them up high. You always put them
- 19:17Speaker 7: on the ground because they can't roll off of anything
- 19:19Speaker 7: when they're on the ground. But I used to be
- 19:21Speaker 7: like ground, you'll carpet whatever, and I'd buy, I can't
- 19:25Speaker 7: do it. I can't figure it out.
- 19:26Speaker 6: I don't know.
- 19:27Speaker 4: Yeah, sometimes the answer is just mom, mom, you know.
- 19:32Speaker 7: And there was an awesome post the other day, and
- 19:35Speaker 7: this kind of links back to what you what you
- 19:37Speaker 7: said about like how we kind of just pulled out
- 19:39Speaker 7: linlight and then today it's a little different. We were
- 19:42Speaker 7: on the cusp of social media, so like, yeah, we
- 19:45Speaker 7: didn't have that social pressure as much. It was twenty thirteen, right,
- 19:50Speaker 7: and so I mean things were just getting going, so
- 19:53Speaker 7: we didn't have the same social pressures as I would
- 19:56Speaker 7: say people do now and maybe want to go on
- 19:59Speaker 7: the show too to gain something.
- 20:01Speaker 6: But this post I saw was great. It was like,
- 20:05Speaker 6: I forget it's.
- 20:06Speaker 7: Like dad vibes or I don't know which one it is,
- 20:08Speaker 7: but they said, like, you know, baby isn't crying because
- 20:12Speaker 7: they're mad at you. Baby's crying because they need you
- 20:16Speaker 7: and that's the only way they can communicate, right, or
- 20:19Speaker 7: like baby's not intentionally staying up all night to like
- 20:23Speaker 7: make us upset. It's because something's going on and their
- 20:27Speaker 7: only way to communicate is to call you out or
- 20:31Speaker 7: cry again, right like so, And it's such a short
- 20:34Speaker 7: window of time until you know, you can start picking
- 20:37Speaker 7: up on their cues and figuring out what's going on. Right,
- 20:40Speaker 7: it's you know, I don't know, Ashley likes maybe six, eight,
- 20:43Speaker 7: ten months, and then you're like, Okay, this is probably
- 20:45Speaker 7: what's going on. And then once they can start talking
- 20:48Speaker 7: and like communicating, it just gets better and better. But
- 20:51Speaker 7: I thought it was a good post to kind of
- 20:53Speaker 7: bring back into perspective, like it's not baby's fault, like
- 20:56Speaker 7: they're just that they're upset.
- 20:58Speaker 6: It's that they don't know how to community with us.
- 21:01Speaker 6: And then we're like why.
- 21:02Speaker 7: Are you priving her? Like why won't you go to sleep?
- 21:04Speaker 7: It's like because they want you or they want mom.
- 21:07Speaker 7: They don't only known mom for their entire life.
- 21:11Speaker 5: I also saw this is this helped when when the
- 21:14Speaker 5: boys were younger too, was like even with marriage, it
- 21:19Speaker 5: was like, it's not what the kids do, it's how
- 21:24Speaker 5: you react to it that really can affect communication in
- 21:29Speaker 5: a marriage. It can affect the way you see your partner.
- 21:32Speaker 5: It can affect obviously the children themselves, But I don't know.
- 21:37Speaker 5: I always thought that was good because it goes along
- 21:40Speaker 5: those same lines of you know, it's not them, it's
- 21:43Speaker 5: how you are reacting to it that can cause the
- 21:46Speaker 5: stress or cause the you know, the little like snapping
- 21:52Speaker 5: at each other, you know, because it's just out of frustration.
- 21:55Speaker 5: So it's like, how do you handle frustration? How do
- 21:57Speaker 5: you handle noise? How do you handle the overwhelmed the
- 22:01Speaker 5: lack of sleep?
- 22:02Speaker 4: And you know, I think we all have to work
- 22:04Speaker 4: on ourselves in those areas, especially patients.
- 22:07Speaker 2: I got like a one month to figure this out. Yeah.
- 22:13Speaker 4: I was gonna say, you can't really train yourself for this.
- 22:16Speaker 5: You won't know until you're in it. Yeah, it's like
- 22:19Speaker 5: on the ground training, you know, boots on the ground.
- 22:22Speaker 4: Like you'll be totally, you will be fine, but you
- 22:25Speaker 4: and just will feel the friction that you've never felt before. Yeah.
- 22:28Speaker 4: Jared and I like never had like a single like
- 22:30Speaker 4: we would never even bicker before kids.
- 22:33Speaker 2: Mhm. I bickered just for fun.
- 22:35Speaker 3: I think it's just like I feel like sometimes I'm
- 22:38Speaker 3: just like I need the bicker. What am I looking
- 22:41Speaker 3: for here, let me find something.
- 22:45Speaker 6: Don't do that.
- 22:46Speaker 5: During this you might see a side of her that
- 22:50Speaker 5: you've never seen before.
- 22:52Speaker 2: I've seen it, mom and Bay comes out.
- 22:54Speaker 3: Now, Wow, Hey, we only have a few more minutes
- 23:06Speaker 3: with you here, but we do want some rapid fire questions.
- 23:10Speaker 3: I'm always interested in this. So we've been doing this
- 23:12Speaker 3: thing on the Almost SIMSS podcast. It's been really fun.
- 23:15Speaker 3: We've been interviewing past bachelor's leading up to Grant season
- 23:18Speaker 3: of the Bachelor. So we've had bachelors from way back
- 23:22Speaker 3: twenty plus years ago to you know, more recent bachelors,
- 23:25Speaker 3: and we've just been talking to him about their experience,
- 23:28Speaker 3: what the show's done for them, what the show's experience.
- 23:30Speaker 3: We've talked a lot about what the show's done for you.
- 23:32Speaker 3: But the big question I'm always curious about, because I
- 23:35Speaker 3: never did, really, have you two watched your season back?
- 23:40Speaker 4: He first has, and it doesn't. That's a very funny switch.
- 23:47Speaker 5: No, I know you haven't watched it back since twenty thirteen, fourteen.
- 23:52Speaker 4: We haven't gone back on iTunes. No, yeah, of course not.
- 23:57Speaker 6: No.
- 23:57Speaker 7: During though, I mean, yeah, you had to blog about it,
- 24:01Speaker 7: and so every happy couple we would decide if we
- 24:05Speaker 7: were going to watch the episode together or not, and
- 24:08Speaker 7: you'd be like, yeah, we're not gonna watch this one, right,
- 24:11Speaker 7: or yeah, let's watch this one.
- 24:12Speaker 3: Yeah yeah, I kind of even then chose not to
- 24:16Speaker 3: watch a lot. Uh, it was more clip it clips
- 24:20Speaker 3: and scenes. But you guys haven't gone back, Like there
- 24:24Speaker 3: hasn't been a moment or desire or even a conversation
- 24:27Speaker 3: of like should we just go back and watch like
- 24:30Speaker 3: this episode or this moment?
- 24:32Speaker 8: Not really, you're not really, We're so far removed from it,
- 24:37Speaker 8: and I feel like you become such different people than
- 24:39Speaker 8: when you were ten years ago, So it's it will
- 24:43Speaker 8: be interesting to go back.
- 24:44Speaker 5: We thought about, you know, we haven't even watched our
- 24:46Speaker 5: wedding videos because like the ro.
- 24:49Speaker 6: We met tomorrow, I thought, I know, want for our tenure.
- 24:53Speaker 5: Oh you're so sweet. Yes, we're gonna we're going to
- 24:57Speaker 5: go back through. So maybe we'll also choose to go
- 24:59Speaker 5: back through the season.
- 25:01Speaker 4: The proposal.
- 25:03Speaker 5: Oh yeah, the proposal, because that's I feel like that's
- 25:06Speaker 5: the most shown snippet. So yeah, we honestly see that one.
- 25:13Speaker 4: I'm posting coming out of the limo. Somebody should make
- 25:16Speaker 4: this for you for your ten year a season of
- 25:19Speaker 4: just the two of you where everybody else is clipped
- 25:22Speaker 4: out in any conversation about anyone else's clips out, but
- 25:25Speaker 4: it's just.
- 25:28Speaker 6: Great. I had to do it.
- 25:30Speaker 7: I gave a presentation last week and the person who
- 25:33Speaker 7: asked me to present was like, you know what, I
- 25:35Speaker 7: want you to talk about your season and I'm like, man,
- 25:38Speaker 7: I don't. I don't think they're going to want to
- 25:39Speaker 7: hear about it, and he's like, it's just I promise
- 25:42Speaker 7: you they will. And so I did go back to
- 25:45Speaker 7: just pull a couple of clips last two weeks ago
- 25:47Speaker 7: from YouTube, and it's crazy what people put together. You're like, yeah,
- 25:52Speaker 7: you're like what you spent time doing it? But it's
- 25:55Speaker 7: it's cool. Yeah, it's cool.
- 25:57Speaker 2: It's very sweet.
- 25:59Speaker 7: And then I'm like, why was my why were my
- 26:01Speaker 7: jeans so baggy? But the.
- 26:07Speaker 3: Just and I watch our wedding video on our anniversary. Yeah, Chris,
- 26:11Speaker 3: I don't necessarily know how emotional you are.
- 26:14Speaker 2: I lose it.
- 26:15Speaker 3: So just have fun doing that, because like, there there's
- 26:21Speaker 3: always one moment, one speech or something that just like
- 26:26Speaker 3: all of a sudden makes me go, yep, it's over.
- 26:29Speaker 2: It's sweet.
- 26:30Speaker 3: You guys, should I think it's a great habit to
- 26:32Speaker 3: get into.
- 26:33Speaker 4: My Mom's always like, Ashley doesn't wants to watch your
- 26:36Speaker 4: wedding video, doesn't want to watch you my mom. I
- 26:38Speaker 4: have to keep it special. I keep casually watch it
- 26:41Speaker 4: on YouTube in the background.
- 26:44Speaker 5: Instead of Blue. He's watching her as well.
- 26:46Speaker 4: I mean, he really does like he does enjoy it.
- 26:49Speaker 4: It's very cute. But I'm like, I can't like have
- 26:51Speaker 4: that it has as new as like exactly his new show.
- 26:54Speaker 2: Mom and Dad love each other. That's so sweet.
- 26:58Speaker 3: Well, I really want to issue guys the happiest of anniversaries.
- 27:03Speaker 3: What an amazing example, what an amazing season you're in.
- 27:10Speaker 3: Keep crushing it. It's so fun to catch up with
- 27:13Speaker 3: both of you and just hear about your lives today.
- 27:16Speaker 3: It's it's very exciting, I think for all the listeners
- 27:19Speaker 3: and especially for Ashley and myself. So yeah, keep us updated, Ashley.
- 27:25Speaker 4: I just have one last thing to throw in there.
- 27:28Speaker 4: When I last saw you, guys, it was at the
- 27:29Speaker 4: Golden Wedding and I was pregnant and kind of just
- 27:32Speaker 4: like I was like, I'm and you were very very sweet.
- 27:39Speaker 4: Were you guys trying at the time.
- 27:41Speaker 6: No, that's a good question because that was the timing
- 27:44Speaker 6: that was right.
- 27:45Speaker 5: It was right after the Golden Bats we got pregnant.
- 27:49Speaker 6: I think it was.
- 27:53Speaker 5: No, you're just always practicing.
- 27:56Speaker 3: Chris is just in it. That Golden wedding must have
- 27:59Speaker 3: been real.
- 27:59Speaker 5: Main take then, so fun you guys to blast. I
- 28:04Speaker 5: was like, the older you get, the more fun you
- 28:06Speaker 5: have because you like don't care what like everyone else thinks,
- 28:09Speaker 5: and you're just like, we had a blast. It was awesome.
- 28:12Speaker 6: That was a lot of fun. Yeah. So yeah, we
- 28:15Speaker 6: got pregnant right close to after that. You did?
- 28:18Speaker 4: Yes, Yeah, not weird, you did?
- 28:21Speaker 7: You did?
- 28:24Speaker 6: Yeah.
- 28:24Speaker 5: I think it was a conversation. We had been having
- 28:26Speaker 5: a conversation for the last year because you know, our
- 28:29Speaker 5: age gap was getting kind of further and further and
- 28:32Speaker 5: further with the boys, and so we're like, you know,
- 28:35Speaker 5: there's a lot of the why we shouldn't and then
- 28:38Speaker 5: there was like the well, you'll never regret it, and
- 28:41Speaker 5: so we decided, yeah.
- 28:44Speaker 4: And how did you feel when you found out it
- 28:46Speaker 4: was a third boy? You are boys? Does?
- 28:50Speaker 5: I'm okay with it? There? I only know boys. So
- 28:54Speaker 5: it's like, you know, of course we wanted to as
- 28:58Speaker 5: He's like he really wanted a girl.
- 29:02Speaker 7: I wanted a girl for sure, And when we went
- 29:04Speaker 7: and got our first ult set, I.
- 29:05Speaker 6: Was like, ah okay.
- 29:08Speaker 7: But but immediately I was like, all right, we got
- 29:11Speaker 7: a foursome, so we're going to be good.
- 29:13Speaker 6: Yeah, so this is good.
- 29:14Speaker 2: We'll booked a t time, we'll compete.
- 29:18Speaker 3: See, I'm starting now with the little girl, and I
- 29:20Speaker 3: have a feeling I might be the girls. Yeah, I
- 29:24Speaker 3: have a feeling I might be in the opposite camp
- 29:26Speaker 3: where I'm like one day, looking back, I'm like, hell, now,
- 29:29Speaker 3: hell did this act in my life?
- 29:30Speaker 2: Yeah?
- 29:31Speaker 4: I can see Ben having three girls because I think
- 29:33Speaker 4: he's Danny Tanner. Oh have three girls?
- 29:38Speaker 5: Yes, I love that.
- 29:40Speaker 6: Well, it's your fault, Ben. I found out that it's
- 29:43Speaker 6: the demand that decides.
- 29:47Speaker 4: Yeah, he didn't know that.
- 29:48Speaker 2: I was today years old when I just learned that.
- 29:51Speaker 4: So yeah, joking, you are you?
- 29:57Speaker 6: Are you talking science right now?
- 30:00Speaker 4: Biology in high school?
- 30:02Speaker 3: And there's a lot of things I forget. Ashley, Hey,
- 30:08Speaker 3: you guys are the best. Thanks for coming on Almost
- 30:09Speaker 3: Famous Podcast. Until next time I've been Ben, I've been Ashley.
- 30:13Speaker 1: Yeah, follow the Ben and Ashley I Almost Famous podcast
- 30:17Speaker 1: on iHeartRadio or subscribe wherever you listen.
- 30:19Speaker 2: To podcasts,