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Immigration, infertility and inspiration: what to expect in episode 1 · The Midlife Pivot

• Amanda: Welcome to the Midlife Pivot, the podcast where we explore what happens when life doesn't go according to plan and why that may be the best thing that ever happens to us. I'm Nissette. And I'm Amanda. And together we're mother and daughter. And between us, we've navigated career changes, family transitions, big moves, unexpected detours, and plenty of moments where we had to ask, what's next? Three years ago, if you had told me that I'd be sitting here hosting a podcast with my mum about reinvention, I never would have believed you. But that's the thing about life. It keeps asking us to pivot. Sometimes by choice, sometimes by necessity. This podcast is about those moments and what happens when we say yes to them. Midlife isn't an ending, it's not a crisis, it's a crossroads. Every week. We'll share stories, lessons, and conversations with people who have had the courage to reinvent themselves, embrace change, and create a meaningful next chapter, as well as guests who will help us navigating life in one's midlife, whether it be empty nesting, menopause, health and wellness, and divorce. Because sometimes the most important journey isn't the one you planned, it's the pivot you never saw coming. Welcome. To the midlife pivot. Well, there it is, Mom. Our very first introduction. Great, a great adventure coming. So we have lots to kind of share and I think this is going to be an amazing platform for us to be able to spend time with each other and get to give our wisdom. on how one pivots, whether it be in their midlife, and we've certainly had many pivots that we've had to do over time, but really just an opportunity for us to, as we said in our introduction, give ourselves a platform to just help facilitate those that of one answers for what they need to do in midlife, correct? Absolutely. and I guess you you really had the ultimate pivot when you immigrated back back in the day. And I think of what we should probably do to get started is maybe just have you kick it off by telling us a little bit about who you are and about how we kind of came to be in creating this this next chapter for both of us in this podcast. Sure. So why don't you go ahead and tell us about tell me tell me, tell me about you and how you came to to America. Okay. That was the biggest pivot. I've had lots of pivots in my life, but that was really my biggest pivot. I basically was born in France during the war, nineteen forty one. I'm disclosing my age now. That's okay. We just celebrated a big birthday. Happy birthday. You just had your 85th birthday. I'm cutting you off to share that because that is a monumental and significant milestone. So happy birthday and we had a fun weekend with everybody. It was really good. It was, it was great. It was lovely. We had everybody come. Yeah. Yeah, and the best part about it was we were all family together. Yes. You know that was the best part. Again, as I said, I was a born in France and because of the war, my parents were forced to leave France. 1941, I was born in Nice, and from there we went to Egypt. My father worked for a company that had an affiliate. He was an engineer. He had an affiliate in Alexandria, Egypt. they gave him, they said to him, you know what? There's trouble. As Jewish people, you have to leave. And here I was, an eight-month-old baby, and we went across the Mediterranean Egypt. To Alexander. And that was the first ten years of my life, And anyway, we'll talk about that at another time, where the biggest pivot was there as well. Right. You left there and then you went to South Africa. Absolutely. But the pivot in my 50s, I was fifty one years old. And there's so much in it that we'll be able to talk about because we're getting all these guests to discuss how midlife crisis, having to move to another country, going through midlife crisis, and at the same time coming to this wonderful country and making a life for ourselves. And yet what you did was I I never looked at it as a crisis for you. I looked at And you guys making this decision to to immigrate as being, you know, something that was so important to you and wanting to come and be with us. you know, being the three kids, yeah, you know, three kids, me being the youngest, Lisa the oldest, and then Warren. And all of us had moved to the States, and you suddenly faced with a with a decision in What's the most important thing to do? Stay in South Africa and be there? Or make this huge, you know, midlife pivot in coming to America and and yeah. When everybody had gone. It was like a metal door. Each time somebody left flying to America, another door closed. And eventually we said, you know what? We are still young, we can start again and we made that midlife pivot. Unbelievable. You know, it was easier for me, I must admit. than it was for your dad. i it's difficult also for a man, you know, making friends and, you know, transitioning. And of course he couldn't work here because he was a lawyer. Right. And he was a a barrister in South Africa. And coming here he could not the law was so different, you know. but you know what? We managed, we got on with our lives and it's the best pivot we've ever made. Right. So you did. I mean you packed up you literally packed up, you know, a fifty year dad was fifty seven, you were fifty one, you literally packed up a fifty plus year existence that you had shared together. Well okay, what was at that point it wasn't you weren't together for that many you know, for that long. You had been married, I guess it was thirty years back at that was it about thirty years then? Did you be married? We were married. Yeah, thirty years because you've thirty sixty six yeah, you've been married for sixty six years now. So, you know, you a thirty year marriage and you gave up give up your friends, but you you had to say goodbye to your friends. You had to say goodbye to things that were so common to you. Absolutely and you know, your life that you had there, which was a beautiful life. You know, you weren't running away from a life, you were running to your children. To my children, yeah, yes, yes and the biggest decision we ever made and it was the best. So yes, and we came here and we adapted. Well it took time. It takes time to adapt. You know, they say that everybody speaks English in America. But you know what? The the language is slightly different. The meaning of certain words. I mean I'll never forget I I started working while I was here somebody had offered me a job and I started working at an antique store. And my friend one day, she was my boss actually, and I said to her during lunchtime, I'm just running across the road to the supermarket, I want to get some minced meat. So off I went to get them. I came back and she said, tell me something, what are you doing with the minced meat? I said, I'm gonna make lasagna. She says, You put minced meat in your lasagna? You see, we didn't know about ground beef. To us it was minced meat. And so many words like that, you know. there's so many words. Actually we could have a whole episode about all the different words and how we had to learn Actually there's a little comedian clip, an English comedian who speaks about the English language and how weird it is. Michael McIntyre. Michael McIntyre. Yes, if anybody's heard it, it's hilarious. Again, he shows he says. You know, you s you say the waste paper basket, you know trash cat. You know. So it's all these words which you have to adapt to because people really don't understand what you're saying. Yeah, yeah. And the accent as well. I remember being on the phone and people y I used to say f forty four and they used to say sorry, what? Yeah. You know? Or like double. We would say double four. Double four. Yes, double four, yes. Double four, double three. Yeah. And I know it's f funny, it's like these little things that people just wouldn't think about, you know, that make such a big difference. But that was you know it's it's a bit of a shock, you know, because you come here going to, for example, in South Africa we had something called the Wimpy Bar. Yes. Here we discovered McDonald. So we would come into McDonald and the lady would ramble off what was on the on the menu in front of us And we really didn't understand it, you know? So it it was it was a learning curve, but you know what? It was fun. And it was was great. Look, it doesn't always work out that way. I'm just telling my story. Of course. Of course. that's something that I think I've always been so impressed with is you have you know, always go into something with such a positive attitude. And and that's something that I think I truly have inherited from you in being able to see the glass half full and make lemonade out of lemons as opposed to you know as opposed to being negative because I think that it does give you so much more of a sense of understanding and hope in your day. It's like waking up you can wake up and the sky can be, you know About to pour, but I love what you always say, which is there's sunshine, a rainbow at the end and behind every storm. Yeah. Every storm. Behind every storm there's you know, you will see, hopefully you'll see a rainbow or the sun will eventually come back out. Absolutely. And you have to look at it like that. Look, I recognize the last you know, the last year as as dad's gotten older, You know, it's been harder, I know, no question. I mean, we're so grateful I'm we're so grateful and blessed that you guys are here and you made such a sacrifice, such a sacrifice to come and live in the i you know in America to be with us. And as we spend the time with you and we see, you know, we see dad getting older, you know, it's been harder, and yet you still you get up every day and you figure out what you're going to do. And the fact that you can sit here and do You know, spend this time and do a podcast with me at eighty-five years old and you know, just have that level of comfort and I was just gonna say feeling comfortable about talking about myself. You know, a lot of people are don't like to share, but with me I like and you know what? It's also important for the grandchildren to know. Yes. To know the story and to know who you are. It's important, you know, to know who you are, especially with friends as well. You know, you meet new friends, you come, it's gonna they know nothing about you. You haven't been to college together, you haven't been we didn't know about proms and whatever, you know. All all we knew about was going to univers we had in Cape Town one university and a little bit a away from Cape Town was still a marsh. You'd have the beautiful wine fields and so on. They had the Afrikaans university. But otherwise it was just the one university. One big university in Cape Town, Johannesburg and and none of us left home, right? I mean we all stayed at home. Right. We all went to college and and never left home. So it wasn't this like going to move. I mean, yes, there were obviously I remember friends that came from Johannesburg to Cape Town and you know, they obviously had to stay in dorms and that type of thing. But for most of us we stayed at home. I mean I stayed at home through college. A lot of my friends came from little country towns. So when they finished this the final year, they came to university. They would be we called them boarders. They would be boarding at the university. but otherwise everybody else stayed at home. Right. It was a very different right, you had to learn and as our kids were starting to go off to college and you could see me, you know. We'll talk about that. I mean we'll definitely talk about how that affected me for sure. yeah, so tell us some more tell me some more experiences of you know this major pivot that you now have in your life. You've packed up everything, you come and live in America. Snow. You'd never seen snow before. Yeah. Never seen snow before. Other than when you went to the Karoo, right? When you would go when we would drive from holidays at the Karoo. From Cape Town. We w we had friends in Kimberley. Kimberly is the diamond. country. That's where they go and find the diamonds, South West Africa and Kimberley. And we had friends who owned a farm there. So during our vacations, in South Africa schooling was different. Yes, yes, yes. We had like our yeah, we had our holiday in the mid in this in the winter, which was in the summer June, July, and then we had our summer holidays. Yes. So when when the winter came on we had three weeks and the summer was six weeks. Yeah. So we would go leave Cape Town and go to friends at the farm. We would take you and Warren and Lisa. They had horses and they had pigs and they had whatever. And you had the best times. But we would drive. now it's nothing. The drive to New York it's nothing. But then we have to sleep over in little country towns and yeah. It was but seeing the snow and adapting to that. I mean driving in the snow driving on the wrong side of the road. On the wrong side of the road. I mean that was another thing. There was that can be a huge pivot. You might have suddenly you've been driving all this time. Let me tell you a little secret. I failed my driving test. Not the written test, 'cause that I got the first time. But I failed my driving test three times. And every time I came out of there crying and saying to Dan's I drive all over the place. How can I not drive over here? And he'd say to me, Don't worry, w do you want a pair of boots? I I'll take you and buy you a pair of boots. And it was always l a challenge for me to drive, especially the the three point turn. yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, in South Africa, you get in the car. It's little, Cape Town's little. Yeah. You know, you literally, when you talk about going to visit your children in Potomac, for instance, it takes you twenty minutes to get here. Yeah, going to visit your children in Rondebosch or one of the suburbs over there, you're there in ten minutes. No traffic, you know. Yeah. That's true. Yeah. But you learned and you did and you adapted. And you had this ama you know, amazing. And then You worked. I you really didn't work much in South Africa. You had your business. I had a little business. You did, you did. You had to tell us a little bit about tell me a little about that. Okay. Well of course you weren't living in South Africa at the time when I ran the business. It was No, I was still I was no no, I was still there. I think Lisa and Warren had left. But you were I think it was also the year that we sent you to America. To America. Yes. You were you were babysitting for your sister, right? Yes. Yeah. yeah, it was lovely. We had three of us got together and my one friend's husband owned a cut make and trip. You know, he would get fabric and he would you'd give him your patterns and he would make whatever you wanted. So we decided, okay, we'll give him we'll make the patterns 'cause I'd been to a drawing board school. What do you call it? like a s like a Yeah, like a sewing school maybe. can't remember what it was called. I don't know what you would call it though. Yes, it was a design school for Yes. And to make patterns and whatever. It's it's like FIT. Right. Which I did for a year. And I would make the patterns and my other friend had contacts in the fabric business and she would get the fabric. And we made easy things, you know, not diff one size fits all. Right. It was easy. One size fits all. You made beautiful tops, there were belts that you made, there were bags that you had. Bags that you beaded and made Yes, I remember that. Beautiful sweaters with beads on and yes, and we thoroughly enjoyed that. But then when my grandchildren started coming, as you know, I had to come and visit all the time. Yeah. So we closed the business and then we decided to move. And that was very and then you came here and you your first job was, as you said, in this antique store. Yes. so that must have been a a quite a experience for you. Because you've always had beautiful jewelry. One of the things my friends have always said to me about you and people have always noticed is your gorgeous jewelry. You've loved jewelry, you've always loved jewelry. Obviously because of working in the jewelry store even in South Africa, I used to go to all the s auctions and buy beautiful antique pieces. on the auctions to wear and I've got some beautiful things because everything came from England, you know, with the real antics and so on. And so this friend of my husband, met me one day and said, What are you doing? I was here for eighteen months. Okay. And they said to me, What are you doing with your love? I said, Well, you know, there's lovely T V during the day And I was watching television, all you know, all my children and my god. And yes, and the hospital one. Yes, yes, general hospital. General Hospital. And I sat there glued to the 'cause you know in South Africa. Well we had nothing. We had like yeah, we had all the families. And really I felt you know, I'm a reader, you know, and I love music. And I just felt so despondent having to sit there and watch these So she says to me, Come and work for us I said, What am I gonna do? She says You have beautiful antique and you know antiques. Come, even if you work three days a week, you know, that'll be fine. And that's how I first started, by going just three days a week. And by the time I finished, I actually got to know my best friend working at this antique store. It was called Hella's Antiques. Right. They're not in existence anymore. Right. And she taught me everything I knew. I mean the diamonds. Nancy did. Nancy did. The diamonds. And I loved looking up all the different marks on silverware. So when batches would come in, I'd be in the back room with all the silver, trying to find out the year. You know, they've all got markings at the back. You look it up and you find out how much and what it is, etcetera. So cool. And one day This is an exciting part. I don't know if you have much time. No, of course, go for it. Let's talk about it. Tell me. One day I was in the store and there was all the Government people outside, big black car, we had to close the store. And who came in? Madeline Albright. She was the Secretary of State at the time. lovely woman. She came in with her little grandson. Now what she used to collect was broaches that were insects. Okay. Beautiful diamonds and emeralds and pearls. But any insect, she had a brooch. So My boss there said to me, let me show you a few things. And when she comes, she'll love your accent. So you handle her, you deal with her. And it was so exciting because she was a lovely woman and very easy to communicate with. And I sold her a brooch. It was a beautiful bee, quite a big one, you know. and with all diamonds and pearls and all sorts of things. And when she left, she was so so sweet to me, really. we bought her book and she signed it. that's so nice. So I've got her book. It's called My Pins. Okay. Yeah, they call it brooches All about her About my pins. About a couple of months later, my friend Nancy, whom I was working with, came in with Life magazine. Uh-huh. I don't know if you know. It's Life Magazine. And she says, I want to show you something. And she turns to a page and there's Madeline Orbright talking to Yassa Arafat. And he's leaning over her, looking as if he's looking at her brooch. Right. She was wearing it. that's so And she said, he said, Can you believe it? Your brooch is famous. This brooch said that's amazing. Such a cool story. I don't know if I ever I don't know if I ever remember you telling me that story. Yeah, what's But maybe the first one is it. Exactly. Exactly. Exactly. But yeah, but I mean you've definitely, I have to say, I mean you guys have been here now 33 years you have absolutely made an incredible life for yourself. The pivot was the best. You know, people are scared. They scared of change. But you know, sometimes you take the bull by the horn. If it's something that you really, really want, you push yourself, you take the bull by the horn, and you make a decision and your life turns around. Yeah. Again. And again, it's taking that attitude of positivity, of I'm gonna make this work. Because I remember there were many times that it you you you know, dad would say to you, What the hell have we done here? You know, why have we you know, why have we given up everything? And you know Especially when I had the accident in the snow. You know. So that was my gosh, where are we? What have we done? Right. But being able to and you did, you got to see eight grandchildren, grow up. you eight great grandchildren and now a great grandchild. Great grandbaby. Unfortunately he doesn't live here, but at least you you got you got to see them. Every day we get we have a group, as you know, a little group chat. And the pictures come every day. It's so adorable. It is. It's so sweet. So you've got to you've got to experience you have you've had to experience that. And yeah, you know, again, I I've always been very vocal about how I feel about you and dad being here and just how blessed I really do feel. never take it for granted for a minute. I'm always so, so appreciative that you did make a massive sacrifice and kind of using the word pivot a you know a million times. But but you did. You made this huge pivot in your life in giving up a world, you know, a life you knew and choosing to come and immigrate to the States, which is obviously what I did as well. But I was younger, I was, you know, newly married. over time and as we as we chat more and more, we'll get to share more little stories along the way as to different things that you've done and different things that I've done. Pivoting in our lives, but I know that folks are gonna want to come back more and more to hear your your cool stories, and there are lots of them. I I know that lots of pivotings. Lots of pivotings, lots of pivotings, lots of pivotings that you've experienced along the way. So yeah, so I guess you know that's kind of you and who who you are and how we got to do this. And I guess from my perspective, it was I came to a point in my life where You know, as you know, turning fifty for me, I wasn't bothered about turning fifty. That for me was absolutely no issue whatsoever. It was challenging getting there as far as you know, I'd always struggled with my weight. I was so overweight. I was in my 49th year and came, you know, knowing my fiftieth year was approaching, and I was like, I am done. I am gonna go into this next half century of my life being fitter, healthier and more in control. And I have to say, I mean, what we'll talk about a lot because it's just so part of my life is Peloton and how Peloton changed my life and the community that I built and created around me that has truly been such a vital part. That was a big pivot in your life. After after working so many years and being so devoted to what you were doing. Yeah and then thirty an an almost thirty three decades of of work. I mean in my fat in the infertility world. you know, deciding to stop working, but first kind of getting to that fiftieth year and discovering that I needed to get myself Together. I needed to figure out how I was going to be healthier and fitter. And and even in these last six, seven, almost seven years, it hasn't been easy. There's been, you know, a lot of challenges along the way as far as keeping myself there, whether it be ailments or injuries, or I've suffered from these, you know, back injuries and that type of thing. But that was what I wanted to do. It was I was going to lose 50 pounds by my 50th birthday. And as you know, I got to my 50th birthday having now 64 pounds. and really being probably at the fittest and healthiest that I was in my life. And that was a huge pain. And that was your aim. It was. It wasn't so much the waste, it was because as we'll talk about this, I think as you and I will chat about this fur you know more and more as we as we progress with with this podcast, is talking about how when we get into our midlife, it is kind of redefining this existence that we have in supporting our Health and wellness, whether it be nutrition, whether it be strength training, you know, whether it be mental health, even that is such a vital part. Most vital out of everything else. It's the getting your mind adjusted to what you're doing and how you're doing and how you're managing and coping along the way. So I think that all of that is is something that it's has been huge for me and and again having the support that I've had from you as a as a parent, as a mom. As a best friend, I mean you really have been that that absolute pillar for me. But yes, making that transition into being fitter and healthier. And I've done pretty well over these seven years in maintaining it, but constantly. And and I'm I'm so excited to be able to have experts that'll come on to to the podcast to chat with us about how we have to do this because There wasn't anybody there seven years ago when I was turning fifty to tell me what I needed to do and to share with me. And as I got more involved in the Peloton community, you know, learning from Jen Sherman, who was the same age that I was, and and you know, hopefully we'll have her on here at some point, and you know, being able to learn about how you don't have to say this is the end. This is just the beginning. You know, this is truly the beginning of how we can really Focus on ourselves in the second, I kind of look at it like my second half of our century, because we hope to live to a hundred. So looking at that second half of a century. So yes, giving up a you know almost 30-year career in the infertility world, which was all I knew, you know, from when I first moved here. That was what I did. That was how I started. And that was my career. giving that up because COVID came. I mean, I was at as you know, I was running this international egg donation program at the time, and no one could travel. So I think it it came to a point where I knew that this was kind of time for me to say, I think I've given all that I can in this field. And I'm ready for something else and ready for some you know, for something else. And I had to find that something else, but it was so hard. To navigate all these changes. So the changes were, you know, as I said, turning 50, now it being faced with menopause, and nobody talks about it. Nobody talks about how you're going to change. And you do. There's so much in us as women that is so different, whether it be the hot flashes or the night sweats or the lack of sleep or brain fog. So I'm excited because we have an amazing OBGYN that'll come on Toby Beckerman it's from in the next couple of weeks who will talk to us about how to manage but we are so lucky that we've reached a stage now where there are people who have so much knowledge about it that can help you. In my time there was no such thing. Mood swings, being hot and cold and you know all kinds of things. It was just like my God, that's what it is. But and my friends would also say, Do you also have it? And I would say, Yes, I also have it. There was no and I'm now talking when I was fifty, so yeah, thirty four forty years ago. This It it didn't exist, you didn't have the peop. Maybe it was because I was in South Africa. I don't know how it was here. Well, I remember you telling me story about hearing about Margaret Thatcher though. My doctor. Prime Minister of of of England. Yeah, at the time. She promoted estrogen and progesterone and she was on it and she was saying how wonderful she feels and she's got the energy and her s she's got no wrinkles. And when I started, my doctor straight away said to me, You know what? We're going to put you on progesterone and estrogen and you know whatever. And I went on to it, but I was too it was too early. I was like forty eight. Okay. You hadn't really experienced it. I had I had the odd occasion, you know, I had the on and off bleeding and nothing nothing distinctive. Right. And they put me on it. And I think it was a little bit early. But I think it would for me it was that, it was menopause. It was empty nesting. That was a huge transition for me in having, you know, having had the twins, and there were seven years between, you know, Erin and Kayla and then Nicole. And I think in my mind I thought she was gonna just gonna be around forever. I don't think I ever really felt that she was gonna leave me. Probably like you felt about me, because there were six years between me and Warren and you know nine years between me and Lisa. So I think it you also felt that I think by the time I left you were ready, you like, All right, go now. No, that's what the pivot came in. You were the last one to go. Yeah. And then after I left you said I can't be without her No, I I can't be without her. Hopefully hopefully Lisa won't watch the show and she won't and she won and she won't hear me say that. But you had to come after your favorite child. It had to come after my grandchildren. They were the most impressive. I know, I know. They trumped me. They did trump me. But but empty nesting for me was incredibly hard. And I again I don't think enough. Some people embrace it. Some people are like they're ready for their kids to leave and they're ready for them to move on. And I was not. and I am fortunate because I do have an amazing relationship with my kids and I'm and I'm so blessed, as we do with you. And I think we've tried to show you know we've tried to show the kids with all all of us, but having that relationship and at least being able to to have them around, but still not having that constant, that constant there. Giving up so it was it was that. It was giving up my this career that I had for 30 years. Yes, I embraced Peloton, I embraced the community that I was in. I got so much out of it. And I started as as a bike. It was a bike and then it became the tread. And then I discovered there was so much more to the platform where where I've suddenly, you know, embraced yoga, something I'd never done before. which was amazing. And strength. And strength. Yeah. Thank you. And strength. And that was I and that was when I realized again. Thanks to people like Jen Sherman who spoke about here she was the cycling instructor, but spoke about how important it was to but you mustn't forget your sister spoke about it a lot. Yeah. Lisa was into this whole fitness health. So the strength and the what's the other thing that she does? Pilates. Pilates. Pilates. Pilates. And it's so important. Right. So I know. And as we get older it's gotta you know, and again, hopefully as the weeks go on and we have, you know, these experts that'll come on that will talk as guests, that'll c talk about why it's so important in our midlife to incorporate that into our daily routines. When I lived in South Africa I was into exercise over there they didn't have you know and they had the spin classes if I don't know if you remember cyclist like that's like what we do with We had spin classes, we had exercise, we had nutrition. And well unfortunately I injured myself. So yeah it was like you know I started with a sciatica nerve which never went away. And I sort of gave up and I became lazy and today I don't know You wished you had because I wished I wished you had continued. And I guess that was the lesson that I learnt is watching you struggle with your back and with the sciatic pain that you still deal with, you know, yet you still have issues with dealing with that and recognizing that I have to I have to do this because I do have a bad back, having carried twins and ha dealing with my weight for all these years, have had that. So moving forward with you know, taking care of my health. And I hope that I can instill that in my kids and my kids can see how important it is. To the young people, very important. Right. So it doesn't have to just be that we're talking to people in their midlife. What happens to the kids when they go to college, that's when they start. Getting lazy, eating junk food. Right, there's fifteen freshmen fifteen that they put on, the fifteen pounds of the freshmen. And then they go out to work and they've got to struggle. So it's for parents to instill on it, you know. But you know with us what we did with you is we sent you to dance classes. Do you remember? Of course. You know, you did ballet and you did jazz and you did all the do to me that was the exercise. I didn't send you to an exercise class but it's important to encourage the kids. Right. Even the boys. Yeah. You know, to encourage them. There's nothing wrong with going to do dance classes and jazz classes. You know? Yeah. It's important to do something. like that. And sport. Unfortunately, our family, except for your father, I'm not sure No baby sports, we're right. No sports fanatics. So so yes, I think it for me it was you know navigating these changes in getting to this point. the most significant pivot for me right now is ending a 30, you know, a 35-year marriage and and figuring out how to navigate this next chapter in my life. And and recognizing that as hard as it is, and and some days I guess are harder than others, is, you know, being able to turn that frown upside down and and finding the, you know, sometimes I'll say that I I feel like I'm walking down a tunnel. Knowing that there's that light at the end of the tunnel and I have my flashlight Light on and the flashlight keeps on losing battery, it you know, it turns off, and and eventually, you know, it's helping me get to the end, but it's not always working, and then you kind of get to the end. So, so navigating that and helping, and and you know, hopefully we'll have somebody on that can help us navigate that part of our lives and how we adjust to that pivot. one of the things I think you know about me so well is that I am pretty much an open. Book. and that's how I've always been. I draw on community, I draw on strength, I love my friends, I love people that show kindness, and that's something that has really helped in all these pivots, whether it be menopause, whether it be this is why I said to you when you were thinking of what should I do, what should I do, I said this is a perfect platform for you because you've got so much to give. You've done so much in your you do, darling. You've got so much to give. And once you decided to do this, you're giving to others, you know? Which is wonderful. I hope so. I hope that the experiences that you and I have had over the years, and imparting that I don't wanna necessarily want to say knowledge, 'cause I don't know whether it's knowledge or not, but just imparting that that wisdom maybe, onto others is what helps somebody. And I know how I felt. I know how when I lost my weight, for example, I was so vocal about it. I remember feeling so overwhelmed by the support that I got from the Peloton community. Where, you know, I remember back in the day, back in when I I mean I've been in the Peloton world for many years now. Gosh, it's almost 10 years that I've been doing Peloton. Yeah. Yeah. Started in 2000 and and 17. So it's all you know almost set almost 10 years. but I remember you got a referral code and you you know, you would have your bike and you could talk about it to friends and people would be able to get a referral code and they would get a measly a hundred dollars off their purchase. We're talking about a thousand you a couple thousand dollar purchase, but I remember that and I would use up all my I would use up all my referrals. and then I would go to Mark and say, You have a membership too. Can I use your I'm gonna use your referrals because they've changed the system since then and they don't give as many. But I pri and then you would you would get so they would get a hundred dollars, you would get a hundred dollars, and I was able to get all this I was able to get all this unbelievable apparel through Peloton because All these so just being able to do that and drawing from community and people being so wonderful to me in return was amazing. So that was something that I absolutely loved. and certainly in my journeys in fertility, you know, not only did I work in infertility, but I went through infertility and being able to draw from community in that and being able to give, being able to share that with my patients that I worked with, and so that was something that I love to be able to do. So I yeah, I think that that's the purpose of this podcast. I think it's for us to be able to impair that wisdom try and inspire. And inspire others and say that there doesn't have to be that dark tunnel at the end. you know, there is that flashlight can stay on and we can get to the end of it. So yeah, mom, I think we've got this. I am excited about about where we go I am so appreciative that we hopefully will have an audience and we thank you guys for you know taking the time listen to us and to you know enjoy what we have to share with you. We hope that we do have a lot that we will be able to share with you over time. we encourage you guys to let us know, whether it be through Spotify or YouTube in the comment sections, what you know what you want to hear from us, if there's you know things that you want to particularly hear. I think that will be a vital part of us moving forward with stuff that you will draw you to come back and to listen to. to us but that's what we hope to do so I am excited mom thank you I'm so appreciative I'm so appreciative that you have embraced this with such positivity and such encouragement and you know I am very honored that you've asked me to join you in this I was going to write a book, which I started. But let me enjoy telling other people about me. They might be interested, you know. I have had a good life and if it I can be here of help, it's the ups and the downs and we'll share it all. It doesn't have to all be all be perfect, but we'll we'll share it all. So yeah, I think we will wrap it up. Yes. Our first episode of the midlife pivot. We are so grateful. Please like, follow, share us. thank you for taking the time to listen to us and we will see you next week. So goodbye from now.