Latest / Minnesota Masonic Histories and Mysteries / Episode 83. Priorities & Impact (ft. Brad Phelps)

Transcript

Episode 83. Priorities & Impact (ft. Brad Phelps) · Minnesota Masonic Histories and Mysteries

• 0:00
  He plucked off his shoe and gave it to his neighbor.
• 0:04
  We're told that he did this to confirm all things.
• 0:08
  There it ends.
• 0:11
  Why would the plucking off of one shoe be a confirmation of anything?
• 0:16
  We do it all the time.
• 0:18
  Many of us have donated shoes to Goodwill.
• 0:23
  There's really nothing uncommon in the act of plucking off our shoes and giving them away, or is there to us today.
• 0:32
  Perhaps not, but it should.
• 0:36
  If you consider the conditions of 3000 or more years ago, you'll get an idea of what it meant to give your shoe or sandal to another.
• 0:46
  The Book of Ruth and the Holy Bible is a thought provoking story.
• 0:50
  Actually, it contains several lessons any of us could use.
• 0:54
  The author Alan E.
• 0:56
  Roberts was concerned with only one here, Boaz and Ruth.
• 1:03
  Boaz wanted to, wed Ruth and the circumstances of land.
• 1:08
  And several other factors were complicated.
• 1:12
  He wanted to, wed Ruth, but to do it, he had to buy land and to confirm this purchase, He plucked off his shoe.
• 1:21
  A simple act, but significant.
• 1:23
  Consider what it really meant for a man to give up his shoes in that primitive country.
• 1:29
  It meant he had to walk barefoot over hot, rocky, rough ground.
• 1:35
  It meant he was giving up an important portion of his creature comforts.
• 1:39
  It's doubtful that any man then owned more than one pair of sandals to regain his shoe.
• 1:47
  He had to fulfill his pledge in plucking off his shoe.
• 1:52
  He was pledging his honor.
• 1:55
  Not all that long ago, a handshake was all that was really needed to seal a promise.
• 2:01
  Times do change.
• 2:03
  Not too many decades ago, the extending of the right hand proved that a man came in peace that he concealed no weapon.
• 2:11
  So the extending and joining of right hands became a friendly gesture.
• 2:17
  Every man who enters Freemasonry plucked off his shoe.
• 2:22
  In doing so, you made a solemn pledge.
• 2:25
  The other preparations for initiation into the mysteries of Freemasonry, added to that pledge.
• 2:32
  You know what this pledge was?
• 2:34
  You promised to keep all the obligations you assumed as you advanced in the craft.
• 2:41
  We can ask ourselves another question.
• 2:44
  What would be the legendary beginning of Freemasonry if Boaz had not plucked off his shoe?
• 2:52
  Would there even be an organization called Freemasonry if he had not plucked off his shoe?
• 2:58
  He would not have married Ruth.
• 3:00
  She would not have had a son that they named Jesse.
• 3:04
  If he hadn't been born, there would've been no King David, the father of Solomon, Brad Phelps.
• 3:13
  Have you plucked off that shoe lately?
• 3:16
  You know, without overthinking this too much, my immediate reaction is, does it matter what I answer to that?
• 3:22
  Or is it more important that somebody else say I had.
• 3:28
  That's why I love our conversations and happy to have you back in studio today.
• 3:32
  Brad Phelps Grand Lodge Education Officer for Minnesota Freemasons.
• 3:37
  Great to see you again.
• 3:38
  Oh, it's very good to see you too, Reid.
• 3:39
  Good to be here.
• 3:42
  So this book by Alan Roberts has been around a long time.
• 3:44
  It's called the Mystic Tie, and it's one that is fun to occasionally just open up Plucking off of one shoe when we really think about it, is very impactful, but also something maybe we just sort of forget about in the significance of preparing a candidate, especially for the first time as they're first starting the degree process.
• 4:06
  Yeah, a hundred percent.
• 4:07
  I.
• 4:07
  They're, they're engaging on something new many times.
• 4:10
  I don't know totally what they're engaging in.
• 4:13
  We don't expect them to look at a lot of information about Freemasonry'cause we don't want them to spoil the experience.
• 4:21
  Uh, it's hopeful.
• 4:22
  I think that they have some idea though, at what they're about to embark in.
• 4:27
  Not necessarily for what they're gonna witness, but the type of values.
• 4:32
  The type of heart that they're gonna encounter, uh, in their interactions, um, future, future endeavors in the craft.
• 4:43
  When you look back on being in that same position, you're about to begin the process of going through the degrees.
• 4:51
  I don't know about you, but I had a misperception of what that would be like.
• 4:56
  I thought it was going to be different than the reality of.
• 5:01
  Sharing core values and timeless philosophies and ways in which I personally, everyone who's a member can and should be embracing those things in our lives.
• 5:17
  I had a very romantic view when I came into the lodge.
• 5:21
  Uh, I remember the whole time being maybe a little bit nervous.
• 5:25
  There's a lot of legend and lore a about us.
• 5:30
  But I knew some people that were examples and people that I looked up to, and the whole time, throughout the whole experience of coming into Masonry, I just remembered that all of the people around me, uh, believed in the same things and were just like the people that inspired me to come in in the first place.
• 5:52
  even now, almost 20 years later, it still hits me that it's so important to be the example.
• 6:03
  When you think of those who have inspired you over the years, or some of those that were the example, the first guys that come to mind are not usually the loudest or the most showy.
• 6:16
  I don't know how to describe that.
• 6:17
  No, you're, you're right.
• 6:19
  And it's, it's been actually a topic, a conversation needs outside of Masonry as well, um, in leadership circles that, There's this misconception that people should be the first to speak because that shows their competence.
• 6:35
  And somewhere along the line, I read some quote that said something, uh, along the lines of, if you speak up, trying to prove that you are not ignorant and you don't think about the words you're, you're using.
• 6:55
  Then you leave everyone around you, no doubt of what you are.
• 7:00
  And you know, it's, it's very striking.
• 7:02
  And so you see these people that probably don't have as much self-esteem, maybe they have intelligence trying to be the first ones out of the gate, to, to share their opinions.
• 7:16
  And it's pretty much leadership 1 0 1, although a very hard thing to practice.
• 7:23
  To be someone who listens.
• 7:27
  And I've read, read a lot of different books that say that is such a wonderful thing as a leader and sort of a cheat because now you get the benefit of everybody else's perspectives.
• 7:40
  Uh, I think there's a lot to that.
• 7:42
  And not only that, but if you open yourself to it.
• 7:46
  There's absolutely so much we can learn from the various perspectives that are around us.
• 7:51
  It makes us truly better and it's one of the, the Secrets of Masonry.
• 7:58
  It's a recurring theme in the conversations we have here about the importance of authenticity.
• 8:05
  In my travels, seeing lodges on a regular basis, the most successful in big air quotes, aren't necessarily the biggest, or maybe writing the largest checks to the people in need in the community.
• 8:22
  They're, they're doing that, but the most successful lodges.
• 8:27
  Have a thread of authenticity, friendship, love for one another, and true concern for each other in life's challenges and in life's victories.
• 8:43
  They truly have coalesced around these things.
• 8:45
  They're more than just buzzwords.
• 8:47
  The, the things that we say, the words that we use, the value teachings, words like brotherhood are not just a platitude said in the lodge setting, but they're, they really have it in the heart.
• 9:01
  And that is so striking to me is all these years we've just somehow been, generally speaking, chasing after numbers or concerned about.
• 9:11
  a line item on a spreadsheet.
• 9:14
  Maybe there's opportunity for us to slow down and cultivate over the long haul, what it means to be friends and brothers and those who truly care about and love each other.
• 9:32
  Oh, absolutely.
• 9:32
  A hundred percent.
• 9:33
  Does, does that sound trite?
• 9:34
  Is that just a, a pipe dream?
• 9:36
  No.
• 9:37
  No.
• 9:37
  And, and I think both you and I know people like that.
• 9:42
  so I came in and I thought everyone would be that way, not recognizing as somebody that was beginning my journey, that we're all in different places.
• 9:49
  We have, we have symbols that talk about our evolution.
• 9:55
  And some people are on the beginning of their journey, some people are further along.
• 10:00
  And the thing that really strikes me is there's this sense of calmness for those people that have really discovered what's important.
• 10:10
  And you highlighted some of them in, in what you were describing.
• 10:15
  Let me ask you this.
• 10:17
  If I were to ask you without thinking too much.
• 10:22
  Who to you is somebody in Masonry that you either have or do now look up to?
• 10:27
  And why?
• 10:30
  it's an interesting thing, and I hope you don't edit this out.
• 10:34
  A friend of mine and I were talking one day and we were reflecting on these great brothers that were here in life, and we just never took the time either because of where we entered into the craft or where these brothers were to get to know them, and we find out all these wonderful things about'em.
• 10:52
  And adding on to that maybe a little bit, have you ever noticed how much goes unsaid when we're here, but at our funerals?
• 11:02
  All that stuff comes up.
• 11:03
  Yes.
• 11:04
  What a shame.
• 11:05
  So I go back to my question and you know, nobody should feel bad because of who you picked.
• 11:12
  There's no favoritism.
• 11:13
  I'm just saying go with your gut.
• 11:14
  Who's the first person that comes to mind?
• 11:16
  I'm gonna go with someone whom I've known from a distance for a number of years, but have only recently really been going a few layers deeper in getting to know the person.
• 11:29
  And it's Zev ick.
• 11:30
  Hmm?
• 11:30
  Yes.
• 11:32
  Zeb I was first introduced to in the York, right.
• 11:36
  He's an exceptional, ritualist friendly guy.
• 11:41
  His ability to memorize and and to execute is very enviable, to say the least.
• 11:49
  But Zeb is working on a number of different things within his own lodge and is being such an inspiring leader.
• 11:57
  In seeing the value of collaborating with community bringing all of these different pieces together, I really admire that someone like him doesn't do it in a way of listen to me, I'm the expert, and do as I say, zb, is good at selling the outcome.
• 12:16
  If we do this, if we collaborate with this group, we're all going to benefit from it.
• 12:23
  It's that servant leader with no real agenda other than a love for the craft, A sincere enjoyment of the friends and brothers around him.
• 12:36
  That building of authentic relationships.
• 12:40
  And to your earlier point, how many of our friends and, and whether it's within the lodge setting or our neighborhood or our jobs, we know somebody from a distance.
• 12:51
  We know a little bit about them.
• 12:52
  We know their family.
• 12:54
  We made their hobbies, their kids names, the activities that they're in.
• 12:59
  What would it take for us to slow down a notch or two?
• 13:03
  Because like you said, we go to a funeral and learn all of these things and think, God, how did I not know this?
• 13:09
  Part of what I've enjoyed about this podcast, this is maybe the most fun one hour a week we spend here, and the feedback of interviewing brothers like.
• 13:20
  John L.
• 13:21
  Cook and Gerald Rhodes, and you and so many others that have come back.
• 13:26
  The emails, the texts, wow, I had no idea that his life experience was X, Y, and Z.
• 13:35
  A hundred percent.
• 13:36
  Have you?
• 13:37
  Hmm.
• 13:37
  Couple things.
• 13:39
  It's really interesting that you picked Z.
• 13:41
  I don't know if you know, he's one of my dearest friends.
• 13:44
  Uh, we were talking about I did not know that.
• 13:47
  Yeah.
• 13:48
  I knew you were friends, but not Oh, yeah.
• 13:50
  No kidding.
• 13:50
  We, we did ritual together in the Scottish rite together in some pretty key degrees.
• 13:55
  Uh, he was an inspiration for me to study tremendously.
• 13:59
  I think he knows how much I think of him, but Amanda knows, and, and this isn't meant to be dark, but if something happens to me, He's the guy, I want to do my service.
• 14:10
  My wife knows that.
• 14:12
  And you don't just pick anybody for that.
• 14:15
  Right.
• 14:15
  If you, if you call that out, it's important.
• 14:17
  By the way, Sean Kerrick will thank me for bringing this up, let your family know what you want.
• 14:23
  'cause we're all gonna face that at some point.
• 14:26
  And, uh, anyway, I agree with everything you said about him.
• 14:30
  He is a true inspiration.
• 14:32
  I think a lot of it is because it's more.
• 14:35
  It's more than what he says.
• 14:37
  It's what he does.
• 14:38
  And that brings up a tremendous amount of, of credibility.
• 14:43
  And there's been times where I've really needed him and he's, he's been showed compassion both by being there, uh, to hear what I had to say, but there, there was no, I'm gonna tell Brad what he wants to hear.
• 14:57
  It was, I'm gonna be honest, which is a sign of a really true friend.
• 15:03
  I.
• 15:04
  going on to some of the other things you said.
• 15:06
  There's a, there's a talk from, we've talked about Simon Sinek before, so I know you, you watch him too.
• 15:12
  There's this video where he talks about finding your why.
• 15:15
  Have you ever, have you ever seen that?
• 15:17
  Yes.
• 15:18
  you really dig into Why are you my friend?
• 15:21
  And there it's, there's surface level stuff that you'll probably hear in return.
• 15:26
  You keep going at this.
• 15:27
  And then finally.
• 15:28
  Something will be said that sends shivers up your spine.
• 15:32
  Yeah.
• 15:33
  And it's because that's what resonates with you.
• 15:37
  And, uh, I think we focus too much on some of the other things that aren't necessarily our why.
• 15:45
  And I get it.
• 15:46
  You know, I grew up when I had kids, that's my story.
• 15:51
  I always thought I was, but I, I guess if you look at it, I was probably in my thirties when I, when I truly, I.
• 15:58
  Grew up and for me the catalyst was having to be responsible for somebody else.
• 16:04
  And, uh, you know, I meant what I said with regard to does it matter if I say I took off my shoe or is it more important to hear how the act of that affected somebody?
• 16:16
  And I think, I think about my kids and I sure hope that, uh, they would say after I'm gone, or even, I guess while I'm here, that.
• 16:28
  The actions I took and the things that I did inspired them, made them proud of me and helped them in their life.
• 16:37
  And those people that realize it, they realize it's, it's not keeping up with the Joneses.
• 16:43
  It's not about money.
• 16:45
  It's not about, do I have the biggest, the best house?
• 16:48
  It's not about what car am I driving, you know, I'm driving a 2000.
• 16:53
  GXJ.
• 16:55
  that didn't cost me a ton of money.
• 16:56
  And I would say it's probably one of my favorite cars.
• 17:00
  I've, I've had all kinds of different cars.
• 17:03
  Why?
• 17:03
  I like the story of it, of where it came from, whose hands it went through.
• 17:07
  Went through three brothers, by the way.
• 17:09
  Did it really?
• 17:09
  It did.
• 17:10
  And I've modified a customize it.
• 17:13
  It tells some of my story.
• 17:15
  and, and yet it's obviously not the most important thing to me.
• 17:21
  it's been a real journey to figure out what the important things are and for me, education and being able to work with people and see that, that look of excitement when they realize something new.
• 17:34
  Or you and I were pa playing a little bit with a chatbot earlier today and that look of shock, but it, it, it got us thinking.
• 17:44
  I love the process of thinking and, and people being inspired to do the same.
• 17:51
  We spend a lot of time really celebrating, I love when we teach people how to think.
• 18:01
  And, you know, speaking of ai, it's, isn't it even more important that we.
• 18:06
  Know how to think, uh, the, the whole, the whole reason for us, I, I won't answer it, but if we can't take physical things with us Yes.
• 18:18
  And we're here in a blink, what's the point for us to be here?
• 18:23
  And I think you get the answers if you really study the degrees.
• 18:29
  Really reflect on the lessons that are there.
• 18:31
  It's a journey.
• 18:32
  There are still things that, that 20 years later I hear and it, it hits me different after.
• 18:38
  Mm-hmm.
• 18:38
  After some of the experiences and where I'm in, in life at 50 as opposed to, you know, thirties and, uh, certainly if I would've been a mason in my twenties or late teens, it would hit different than then too, for sure.
• 18:55
  There's a certain calmness.
• 18:56
  Have you seen that the, the people that have kind of, I'll say, figured it out and really focus on what's important to them.
• 19:05
  They have this sense of peace, and I'm not the only one that's seen it.
• 19:10
  I've, I've heard it come from non masons that have interacted with Masons.
• 19:16
  What is it about these guys that they have so much peace?
• 19:24
  I find that fascinating.
• 19:27
  How would you answer that if someone made that observation and said, you see that guy over there, maybe he doesn't even know he is a mason, but said there's something different about him.
• 19:37
  How do you articulate that if you had to?
• 19:39
  In the moment, there's a balance to be had between what drives us spiritually and what we need in the physical world functionally.
• 19:50
  I think the people that are at peace have found that balance and maybe even realize that the physical existence we have here, including all the challenges that we face, are not the end game.
• 20:07
  They're not the the, the whole thing.
• 20:09
  It would be like me stewing over a test.
• 20:11
  So if I lose my job, it's not convenient.
• 20:18
  But I, I heard this quote, uh, it actually came from a pastor and it blew my mind, and it came at just the right time.
• 20:26
  Are we living our life in the honor of the kingdom or are we living our life to make ourselves comfortable?
• 20:34
  And it, it, it just then shivers up my, my spine and I think.
• 20:40
  Usually I, I don't want to stereotype, but usually the guys that have that comfort, they've been here for a while, they've, they've lived life and they've seen a lot of things, and I think they're the ones that have had that aha moment and just are like.
• 21:00
  Is it more important that I spend the time with my family and get to enjoy them and, and make an impact and am with my friends and so forth?
• 21:11
  Or is it more important that I'm, I'm worried about my job because as I've heard this too, will pass.
• 21:20
  And, uh, I, a lot of us will say we have faith, but, but do we?
• 21:28
  I mean is, is that just something we say because it's expected to say, or do we truly embrace that there's something bigger and beyond?
• 21:36
  Because it seems to me anyway that it's kinda like you ever looked back and something seemed like an emergency and it was all consuming, and then five years later you go, why did I spend so many cycles worrying about that?
• 21:54
  Yes, that wasn't so big.
• 21:56
  I think a lot of us see that too, and our challenges get bigger and bigger the more, the more we advance.
• 22:03
  And I, I guess long story short, it's, it's a bigger perspective and understanding of the true nature of things.
• 22:12
  As I travel in this role and continually visit lodges and have conversations.
• 22:19
  Part of why the topic keeps coming up on this podcast about authenticity and true friendship and meaningful contact and connections is that brothers are not leaving the craft because of say, the, the ritual wasn't perfect or because of some other specific, it's quite often because the, that promise we make of authentic brotherhood and friendship is missing.
• 22:48
  Or it's hollow, or at times it feels hypocritical.
• 22:55
  We go through the motions of initiation and of sharing that these are our values.
• 23:02
  This is what we stand for.
• 23:07
  We're not perfect.
• 23:08
  We've all succumbeded to the temptation of.
• 23:12
  Saying something or worse, posting something that was divisive, that was not helpful, that was static instead of signal.
• 23:25
  But there are culture issues within the lodge sometimes where it feels like we're not trying very Do we try?
• 23:35
  How much value do we place on some of these things?
• 23:38
  I, I know of a, a friend of mine's attending a church and he and his wife are leaving this church because it has become toxic.
• 23:48
  It has become a place where everyone says all the words they keep up the appearances.
• 23:56
  But the reality of the experience has been incredibly disappointing.
• 24:00
  I.
• 24:01
  They're going someplace else.
• 24:03
  Does that, is that a parallel sometimes for a lodge in which the toxicity, the negativity, or the latent malcontents have taken over the yeah.
• 24:16
  There, I think there's a lot of important things to consider what you just said.
• 24:20
  So the very first one is.
• 24:23
  You're right.
• 24:24
  There's a lot of polarizing language on social media, and it's tempting to go out and say, you can't do that.
• 24:34
  You shouldn't do that.
• 24:38
  We can't control what people say.
• 24:40
  You know what?
• 24:41
  We can't control how we respond to it.
• 24:44
  And what I've learned is.
• 24:49
  I've taken some of these, these guys aside, that, that have said things that I thought were harsh and instead of judging them and saying, how dare you, or even getting upset, I've asked, tell me a little more about that.
• 25:04
  I'd like to understand it even if it was something I completely disagreed with.
• 25:09
  And there's, there's a, a, a dear brother, another dear brother that I have that, uh.
• 25:16
  I've gotten to know, and what we found in some of these hard conversations is that we want the same things.
• 25:23
  We just don't have the same view on how to approach it.
• 25:26
  And as we talk through it, we find out that there's probably validity won't even be that wishy-washy, there is validity in, in what each of us are saying.
• 25:37
  So I think there's an important lesson to be had there about patients.
• 25:41
  And I think it's a shame.
• 25:43
  Especially as Freemasons, if we coach our guys not to talk about hard things.
• 25:50
  Isn't that a little bit akin to teaching people what to think as opposed to how to think?
• 25:56
  And we should be teaching things and we are teaching things like civility to help people get through that.
• 26:02
  And if there was ever a time where this was needed, it's now.
• 26:07
  People hide behind anonymous identities and and boards and social or just aren't held accountable or don't think about it.
• 26:17
  And I think it's super important that we ask the right questions as opposed to making assertions really try to understand where somebody might be coming from and give them the benefit of the doubt.
• 26:28
  Those are all really hard things, but again, those calm guys that I know, they're that way.
• 26:35
  Tell me more why, why you said that.
• 26:37
  I'd like to understand it because they realize we're all brothers and sisters truly, and even some of the people just to prepare us that say they are super accepting and tolerant.
• 26:49
  that's not always true.
• 26:51
  Because their view of tolerance isn't all that tolerant.
• 26:56
  So tolerant.
• 26:57
  As long as you think exactly like, or we, we have shared everything.
• 27:01
  Possibly.
• 27:02
  I, and you know, I get kinda where they're coming from.
• 27:04
  Uh, I try to be accepting of everybody.
• 27:08
  There's, there's a quote from Voltaire about this.
• 27:10
  I won't go into it, but I try to be accepting and understanding that, you know.
• 27:16
  I can't really understand anybody but me.
• 27:19
  So the only way I can understand it better is if we have conversations and, and even then it's somewhat limited, but at least I'm trying.
• 27:25
  Right?
• 27:26
  Right.
• 27:27
  so hopefully we are not passing judgment.
• 27:30
  We're really engaging in a conversation not to hear what we want to hear, but to, to get a better understanding We're not doing ourselves any favors, uh, culturally to.
• 27:43
  Encourage people not to have conversations.
• 27:45
  And we're also not doing ourselves any favors by reminding everybody, especially in Freemasonry.
• 27:52
  We, you know, We are brothers and sisters spiritually.
• 27:56
  there are things in this physical world that, that make us different.
• 28:00
  It can be a lot of things, including our experiences, and that's probably by design.
• 28:06
  I I, I can imagine that what's put in front of us is there to help us grow.
• 28:13
  For some people that's different than other things, and if we embrace the fact that we're spiritual brothers and sisters.
• 28:19
  We look at it that way and really try to understand and try to hold ourselves to the standards of what we're being taught in our lessons, and we embrace it, live it, not just show up to a meeting and go through the motions, but really live it.
• 28:35
  We can inspire people to be better.
• 28:41
  This is a conversation often misunderstood.
• 28:45
  This isn't some sort of lecture on you shouldn't have strong opinions or that you should feel this way or that way.
• 28:53
  It's about pausing before posting something inflammatory.
• 29:00
  Now, I'm not telling someone you, you can't do that.
• 29:04
  My question always is, why would you want to.
• 29:07
  How much satisfaction did you really get knowing that ultimately you are alienating probably 50% of your friends, your family, your everyone in the social media world and for what?
• 29:21
  Yeah, there's, there's definitely truth in that.
• 29:23
  I.
• 29:24
  There used to be a practice I, I don't think a lot of people are doing anymore, sadly, where you'd stop and count to 10 or, you know, I've, I've heard people suggest if you're upset about something, write a note and then rip it up and throw it away because, you know, you feel like you said it, but then do you really need to say it?
• 29:42
  Uh, so you feel like you get it off your chest.
• 29:44
  There's any number of ways to do it, but again, I'm gonna encourage everyone that's listening that, would consider it.
• 29:51
  Try to give people the benefit of the doubt, uh, and, and remember the bigger perspective.
• 29:58
  A friend of mine, just went through having a bunch of mon money stolen.
• 30:02
  He forgot his wallet somewhere, and it, and it, it wasn't returned and there was some other stuff.
• 30:08
  obviously sad, it's not great and you want to get angry, but.
• 30:13
  There's another perspective too, that that person may have needed it more than he too.
• 30:19
  And so it's kind of humbling to think about that.
• 30:22
  it's hard.
• 30:22
  It is.
• 30:23
  It's super hard.
• 30:24
  I mean, but we either embrace the lessons that are thrown at us and we grow or we don't.
• 30:34
  And I guess that gets back to some of that.
• 30:36
  What's, what's really important, and if it were easy, we would all be there, right?
• 30:42
  True.
• 30:42
  We're not.
• 30:42
  We're all works in progress.
• 30:45
  We all have an opportunity to stop and ask each other, why do you feel that way?
• 30:52
  Or what's going on in your life?
• 30:57
  To glean a little more perspective.
• 31:00
  We're so fast just in society to say, well, he feels that way to hell with him.
• 31:07
  We can't be friends.
• 31:09
  And then the rift begins without gaining a little more context.
• 31:15
  If we want our lodges to grow and retain our members, it is on all of us to devote ourselves to.
• 31:27
  Making a solid effort to living up to our self-imposed guidelines, standards, and core values.
• 31:38
  This is very tricky.
• 31:39
  We're all, we're wired to be passionate, to have strong feelings, but if silence and circumspection tolerance.
• 31:50
  the whole human species being one family man.
• 31:55
  If that's just a platitude, we've got work to do.
• 32:01
  Yeah.
• 32:04
  One of my mentors professionally once told me,'cause I was really struggling with something similar you're describing.
• 32:09
  Uh, communication's a two-way street.
• 32:12
  it's not only just about being a good communicator to get an idea across, but people have to be willing to receive it.
• 32:20
  And sometimes, especially in the corporate world, big comp, big companies, and I've been at both, I've been at big companies, I've been at smaller companies.
• 32:29
  The bigger companies are harder to get the ship to turn.
• 32:33
  So if you grow in leadership, you have to be comfortable with planting a seed and being patient for the right time for it to sprout.
• 32:41
  And sometimes that takes years and the same can hold true in the lodge.
• 32:46
  And I guess the only real words of wisdom I have with regard to this is as we advance in masonry and.
• 32:57
  If we've been through that, try to remember what it felt like to be dismissed or not to be heard, so that if somebody that's bringing up an idea or a suggestion, even if you don't agree with it, uh, hear it out and listen to it and have a conversation about it.
• 33:12
  And try not to let our, our own biases, uh, make the decisions and if it is not the right time for that particular idea, have that conversation too.
• 33:25
  And, uh, just, I.
• 33:27
  Try to find the best way, uh, to use the best of all the, all ideas to win.
• 33:33
  But I, the thing is we get, I do think we get wrapped up on really an important things, some of my favorite activities, share some of those activities.
• 33:44
  Like, like what?
• 33:46
  How do we fix the buildings roof?
• 33:49
  What happens if we lose the building?
• 33:52
  Why didn't we raise our dues higher years?
• 33:54
  That's three years.
• 33:54
  Ago's a good one.
• 33:55
  That's, that's a good one.
• 33:57
  our numbers falling is a, is another good one.
• 33:59
  Well, I remember back in the good old days when our numbers in 1958 were, yeah, 700 members of our lodge and how about this or that just gives me the catalyst.
• 34:12
  Stop focusing on the past and focus on the future.
• 34:17
  Where you want to go.
• 34:20
  This conversation just came full circle.
• 34:22
  'cause that is what our friend and Brother Zev is good at.
• 34:25
  Yeah.
• 34:26
  How are we going to take our current circumstances and work through it to ensure looking forward?
• 34:34
  Yeah, it's an interesting, this is another place where I think there's balance, right?
• 34:41
  If we don't raise new guys, then we're not bringing new people in the craft to.
• 34:48
  To be an investment in the future.
• 34:50
  and it's robbing ourselves like some of the most rewarding interactions I've had, are with some of the younger guys at Rochester Lodge, seeing how excited they're, they are about education, about becoming better at doing their floor work and ritual.
• 35:08
  The things that make me feel good are, are less about like in, in my cases, the people that I mentor, oh, I'm successful because Brad told me to do it this way.
• 35:19
  What's truly rewarding is hearing from them truly heartfelt, deep things about how I acted or things that I've done that inspired them and, and wanted them to.
• 35:37
  Improve, and I've tried really hard not to give instruction lists out to people.
• 35:43
  If they ask me, like, especially for those that are just beginning, I'll give them some guidance, but I don't know about you.
• 35:51
  But every once in a while you hear something and you're humbled by it because you're like, I would've never thought that that was an important thing.
• 36:00
  And in my case, somebody came up to me fairly recent and unprompted said.
• 36:07
  You have this way of making order out of chaos, and I don't know what it was about that, but I'll never, ever forget that.
• 36:17
  How'd you feel in that moment?
• 36:19
  Well, it was like Covey's thing, or not Covey, a cynics thing where shivers went up my spine.
• 36:25
  There was something about that that resonated.
• 36:27
  I couldn't really articulate for you what it is.
• 36:32
  Maybe it's.
• 36:34
  It's inferred in that statement that I somehow made their life less chaotic, that I helped them So that's an interesting one.
• 36:44
  Inspiring.
• 36:45
  Yeah, I am driven by that and.
• 36:49
  There are some that would say that's a key factor in, in leading people.
• 36:55
  It is truly an honor to have people follow because they want to and not because they have to.
• 37:02
  You know, we, we teach lessons about that too in masonry, right?
• 37:05
  There's a statement about that when the Worshipful Masters installed during our installation ceremonies, right, there's recognition that he's just like the rest of us, but we give him the honor of raising him up for a temporary time and trusting him.
• 37:19
  We wouldn't trust somebody for just any reason in a healthy situation.
• 37:26
  And I'm not gonna say that doesn't happen right now.
• 37:28
  It's usually a numbers game when that does happen.
• 37:31
  But the truly impactful people, I.
• 37:35
  Their peers trust them because of who they are, not what they say they are, but who they are.
• 37:43
  And we all know those people.
• 37:45
  we're not driven by somebody's perception and work really hard to be painted as somebody great.
• 37:55
  But instead we're, we're honored and trusted because we follow through the attributes that we, we hold onto.
• 38:02
  It's not about money.
• 38:03
  It's not about station and life.
• 38:07
  It's about how we impact people.
• 38:09
  And if we care about what people think, it's not because what car I drive, what house I have, where I work, what position I have, But instead I.
• 38:21
  Because of these principles that we hold true principles that resonate with the rest of humanity and without them even knowing they're seeking out.
• 38:31
  And I think that's when you have those aspects, that's when people will follow you because they want to and not because they have to.
• 38:42
  if each of us.
• 38:46
  Wants to be a positive influence in life.
• 38:52
  And even more specifically in lodge, people are not going to just simply trust us because of what we say.
• 39:02
  They are going to follow and trust how we behave, how we conduct ourselves, and when we show up, you know, we.
• 39:14
  Everybody listening to this knows what a cable toe is.
• 39:16
  What I would ask them though is your length of the cable toe based on what you can do or what's convenient to you?
• 39:27
  I think sometimes we mix that up.
• 39:30
  There are brothers who have showed up in my life and they are very close to me that I asked them for help.
• 39:36
  Some of them at the time, I didn't even know when they showed up.
• 39:39
  That was super, super meaningful.
• 39:44
  We're gonna embarrass that by, keep bringing him up.
• 39:46
  But he shows up constantly when, when he's needed for ritual and he doesn't show up and just read the words, he knows him.
• 39:55
  He is put the work in, people showing up when they're asked, even when it's not convenient.
• 40:03
  and I'm not telling people to like.
• 40:06
  Damage their family life or anything like that.
• 40:08
  But I am saying if you're asked to do something that's difficult and it's within your means and you're not going to hurt your family or hurt your career, do it.
• 40:19
  Sometimes even, it may seem like work, but it's, it's like my motorcycle trips.
• 40:24
  I've written multiple times that.
• 40:26
  You're not protected from the elements.
• 40:28
  And in the moment if you're getting hit by hail or rain, it sucks.
• 40:32
  Okay?
• 40:33
  It stinks for sure.
• 40:34
  Yes.
• 40:34
  But afterwards, the bragging rights of persevering and pushing through it and having that memory, it feels awesome.
• 40:43
  Maybe it's a little bit like a workout at the moment.
• 40:45
  It might really be tough, but you know that feeling you get when you're done it, uh.
• 40:53
  I think that's a part of the designs between you and I Sense of accomplishment.
• 40:57
  Yes, exactly.
• 41:00
  Brad Phelps, we often fail to thank you sufficiently for the time and dedication you put into not only your lodge, but serving as a Grand Lodge education officer in Minnesota.
• 41:13
  As we wind down today, we've talked some very compelling and thought provoking aspects of lodge life, life outside of the lodge.
• 41:26
  Last word to you, sir.
• 41:29
  We were talking about getting to know some of the, the people that are around us and being present.
• 41:34
  One of my very best friends, I miss him dearly.
• 41:36
  He moved back to Japan, he knew I liked motorcycles and he was going after, uh, a particular Harley Davidson he had wanted for a long time and asked the guys in the lodge.
• 41:48
  Would you like to go with me to Milwaukee to pick this up?
• 41:52
  And I took a chance.
• 41:53
  I didn't know him that well, but I said, yeah, I'll go with you.
• 41:56
  And from that came a dear friendship.
• 42:01
  Differences in all differences in view.
• 42:03
  We compliment each other.
• 42:06
  We traveled all over the United States together on motorcycles.
• 42:10
  He has a special place in my heart.
• 42:13
  We may not see each other as much as as I would like anymore, but if.
• 42:17
  If you were to show up on my doorstep tomorrow, five years, 10 years from now, wouldn't matter.
• 42:22
  We'd pick up where we left off.
• 42:24
  These are the types of friendships and bonds we build in Masonry.
• 42:28
  This is what Masonry's about.
• 42:30
  I just encourage people, be open-minded, experience life for what it's really like, what it's really for, and appreciate our spiritual brothers and sisters for what they are and what they give us.
• 42:44
  And when I say I love the craft and I love the people in it, I truly mean it.
• 42:48
  That's what it's all about.
• 42:51
  Author Alan E.
• 42:53
  Roberts wrote in that book that we referenced earlier, the Mystic Tie Practice.
• 42:59
  Without that, which ye have learned within, that's words that are found over the door of several lodges all over the world.
• 43:10
  He said, quote, this phrase makes a lasting impression on the minds of those who really care.
• 43:18
  It reminds us that there is more to be found in Freemasonry than just its ritual.
• 43:24
  I.