Latest / Adult Child of Dysfunction / E 244: Laugh, Heal, Repeat: Finding Joy After a Cancer Diagnosis: Guest Cara Lockwood

Transcript

E 244: Laugh, Heal, Repeat: Finding Joy After a Cancer Diagnosis: Guest Cara Lockwood · Adult Child of Dysfunction

• 0:47
  Well,
• 0:47
  hello
• 0:48
  everybody,
• 0:48
  and
• 0:48
  welcome
• 0:48
  back
• 0:49
  to
• 0:49
  another
• 0:49
  episode.
• 0:50
  Today
• 0:50
  we
• 0:50
  have
• 0:50
  with
• 0:50
  us
• 0:51
  a
• 0:51
  special
• 0:51
  friend.
• 0:52
  Her
• 0:52
  name
• 0:52
  is
• 0:52
  Kara
• 0:53
  Lockwood.
• 0:54
  She
• 0:54
  is
• 0:54
  the
• 0:54
  best
• 0:54
  selling
• 0:55
  author
• 0:55
  of
• 0:55
  more
• 0:56
  than
• 0:56
  35
• 0:56
  books,
• 0:57
  including
• 0:57
  the
• 0:57
  USA
• 0:58
  Today
• 0:58
  hit
• 0:59
  the
• 0:59
  Takeover
• 1:00
  and
• 1:00
  the
• 1:01
  book
• 1:01
  I
• 1:01
  Do
• 1:01
  But
• 1:02
  I
• 1:02
  Don't,
• 1:02
  which
• 1:02
  became
• 1:03
  a
• 1:03
  Lifetime
• 1:03
  original
• 1:04
  movie
• 1:04
  when
• 1:05
  she
• 1:05
  was
• 1:05
  diagnosed
• 1:06
  with
• 1:06
  stage
• 1:07
  one,
• 1:07
  her
• 1:08
  two
• 1:08
  positive
• 1:09
  breast
• 1:09
  cancer,
• 1:09
  if
• 1:10
  I
• 1:10
  said
• 1:10
  that
• 1:10
  right,
• 1:10
  in
• 1:11
  2023,
• 1:12
  after
• 1:12
  a
• 1:13
  double
• 1:13
  mastectomy,
• 1:14
  chemotherapy
• 1:14
  and
• 1:15
  reconstruction,
• 1:15
  she
• 1:16
  went
• 1:16
  into
• 1:16
  remission
• 1:16
  in
• 1:17
  2024.
• 1:18
  Her
• 1:18
  new
• 1:19
  book,
• 1:19
  there's
• 1:19
  no
• 1:20
  good
• 1:20
  book
• 1:20
  for
• 1:20
  this,
• 1:20
  but
• 1:21
  I
• 1:21
  wrote
• 1:21
  one
• 1:21
  anyway.
• 1:22
  The
• 1:22
  Irreverent
• 1:23
  Guide
• 1:23
  to
• 1:24
  Crushing
• 1:24
  Breast
• 1:24
  Cancer
• 1:25
  is
• 1:25
  the
• 1:25
  candid
• 1:26
  laugh
• 1:26
  out
• 1:26
  loud
• 1:27
  guide
• 1:27
  she
• 1:27
  wishes
• 1:28
  she'd
• 1:28
  had.
• 1:29
  Part
• 1:29
  memoir
• 1:29
  and
• 1:30
  part
• 1:30
  pep
• 1:30
  talk,
• 1:30
  it
• 1:31
  offers
• 1:31
  a
• 1:31
  raw,
• 1:31
  witty
• 1:32
  roadmap
• 1:32
  for
• 1:32
  patients,
• 1:33
  survivors
• 1:34
  and
• 1:34
  loved
• 1:34
  ones.
• 1:35
  Half
• 1:35
  of
• 1:35
  all
• 1:35
  proceeds
• 1:36
  benefit
• 1:36
  the
• 1:36
  Susan
• 1:37
  G.
• 1:37
  Komen
• 1:38
  foundation
• 1:38
  and
• 1:38
  a
• 1:39
  breast
• 1:39
  cancer
• 1:39
  research
• 1:40
  foundation.
• 1:41
  Oh,
• 1:41
  my
• 1:41
  goodness.
• 1:42
  This
• 1:42
  is,
• 1:42
  this
• 1:42
  is
• 1:43
  going
• 1:43
  to
• 1:43
  be
• 1:43
  so
• 1:43
  heartwarming
• 1:44
  to
• 1:44
  me.
• 1:44
  Hi,
• 1:44
  Kara,
• 1:45
  how
• 1:45
  are
• 1:45
  you
• 1:45
  doing
• 1:45
  today?
• 1:46
  Good,
• 1:46
  how
• 1:47
  are
• 1:47
  you?
• 1:47
  It's
• 1:47
  such
• 1:48
  a
• 1:48
  pleasure
• 1:48
  to
• 1:48
  be
• 1:48
  on
• 1:48
  your
• 1:48
  show.
• 1:49
  Thank
• 1:49
  you
• 1:49
  so
• 1:49
  much
• 1:49
  for
• 1:50
  having
• 1:50
  me.
• 1:50
  Well,
• 1:51
  yeah,
• 1:51
  and
• 1:51
  I,
• 1:51
  you
• 1:52
  know,
• 1:52
  the
• 1:52
  name
• 1:52
  of
• 1:52
  the
• 1:52
  show
• 1:52
  is
• 1:53
  Adult
• 1:53
  Childhood
• 1:53
  Dysfunction.
• 1:54
  So
• 1:54
  people
• 1:54
  go,
• 1:55
  well,
• 1:55
  I
• 1:55
  don't
• 1:55
  know
• 1:55
  if
• 1:56
  that
• 1:56
  kind
• 1:56
  of
• 1:56
  fits
• 1:56
  in
• 1:56
  or
• 1:57
  what
• 1:57
  I'm
• 1:57
  talking
• 1:57
  about
• 1:58
  fits
• 1:58
  in
• 1:59
  any
• 1:59
  kind
• 1:59
  of
• 2:00
  adversity.
• 2:01
  Yeah.
• 2:02
  And
• 2:02
  struggles
• 2:03
  and
• 2:03
  resilience
• 2:04
  and
• 2:04
  stories
• 2:05
  of
• 2:05
  hope
• 2:05
  and
• 2:06
  healing.
• 2:06
  I
• 2:06
  mean,
• 2:06
  that's
• 2:07
  what
• 2:07
  we're
• 2:07
  all
• 2:07
  about.
• 2:07
  Because
• 2:08
  I
• 2:09
  know
• 2:09
  sometimes
• 2:09
  you
• 2:10
  just.
• 2:10
  Things
• 2:10
  happen
• 2:11
  and
• 2:11
  when
• 2:12
  things
• 2:12
  happen,
• 2:12
  sometimes
• 2:13
  we
• 2:13
  don't
• 2:13
  quite
• 2:13
  know
• 2:13
  how
• 2:13
  to
• 2:14
  navigate
• 2:14
  them.
• 2:15
  And
• 2:15
  it
• 2:15
  always
• 2:16
  helps
• 2:16
  to
• 2:16
  have
• 2:16
  someone
• 2:17
  or
• 2:17
  stories
• 2:18
  of
• 2:18
  people
• 2:18
  that
• 2:19
  have
• 2:19
  navigated.
• 2:20
  And
• 2:21
  I
• 2:21
  absolutely
• 2:22
  love
• 2:22
  that
• 2:22
  you
• 2:23
  make
• 2:23
  it
• 2:23
  a
• 2:23
  point
• 2:23
  to
• 2:23
  say
• 2:24
  that
• 2:24
  you
• 2:24
  do
• 2:24
  it
• 2:24
  through
• 2:24
  humor.
• 2:26
  And
• 2:27
  not
• 2:27
  this
• 2:27
  toxic
• 2:28
  positivity,
• 2:30
  smiling
• 2:31
  on
• 2:31
  the
• 2:31
  outside,
• 2:31
  but
• 2:32
  bawling
• 2:32
  on
• 2:32
  the
• 2:32
  inside
• 2:33
  kind
• 2:33
  of
• 2:33
  humor
• 2:33
  that
• 2:34
  some
• 2:34
  of
• 2:34
  us
• 2:34
  are
• 2:35
  used
• 2:35
  to.
• 2:36
  Exactly,
• 2:36
  exactly.
• 2:37
  Well,
• 2:38
  like
• 2:38
  I
• 2:39
  talk
• 2:39
  about
• 2:39
  in
• 2:40
  the
• 2:40
  book,
• 2:40
  which,
• 2:40
  you
• 2:41
  know,
• 2:41
  I
• 2:41
  think
• 2:41
  when,
• 2:41
  when
• 2:42
  people,
• 2:43
  you
• 2:43
  know,
• 2:43
  get
• 2:43
  a
• 2:43
  cancer
• 2:44
  diagnosis,
• 2:44
  there's
• 2:45
  a,
• 2:45
  there's
• 2:45
  a
• 2:45
  lot
• 2:45
  of
• 2:45
  reaction
• 2:46
  to
• 2:46
  that,
• 2:46
  but
• 2:46
  some
• 2:47
  of
• 2:47
  it
• 2:47
  is
• 2:47
  that
• 2:47
  you
• 2:48
  just
• 2:48
  have
• 2:48
  to
• 2:48
  be
• 2:48
  insanely
• 2:49
  positive
• 2:50
  the
• 2:50
  entire
• 2:50
  time.
• 2:51
  And
• 2:51
  I
• 2:52
  just
• 2:52
  don't
• 2:52
  think
• 2:52
  that's
• 2:53
  true.
• 2:53
  I
• 2:53
  think
• 2:53
  you
• 2:53
  can
• 2:54
  be
• 2:54
  incredibly
• 2:54
  salty
• 2:55
  and
• 2:55
  sarcastic
• 2:56
  and
• 2:56
  still
• 2:57
  get
• 2:57
  through
• 2:57
  with
• 2:58
  flying
• 2:58
  colors
• 2:59
  because
• 2:59
  I
• 2:59
  think
• 2:59
  it's
• 3:00
  all
• 3:00
  about,
• 3:00
  you
• 3:01
  know,
• 3:01
  what
• 3:01
  works
• 3:01
  for
• 3:01
  you
• 3:02
  and
• 3:02
  how
• 3:03
  you
• 3:03
  can
• 3:03
  find
• 3:03
  that
• 3:04
  humor
• 3:04
  in
• 3:05
  a
• 3:05
  ridiculous
• 3:06
  situation.
• 3:07
  Right.
• 3:07
  And
• 3:07
  it's,
• 3:08
  I
• 3:08
  mean,
• 3:09
  how
• 3:09
  do
• 3:09
  you
• 3:09
  find
• 3:09
  the
• 3:09
  humor
• 3:10
  in
• 3:10
  that?
• 3:10
  Talk
• 3:11
  to
• 3:11
  me
• 3:11
  about
• 3:11
  that.
• 3:11
  Yeah.
• 3:12
  Well,
• 3:13
  first
• 3:13
  of
• 3:13
  all,
• 3:13
  I
• 3:13
  think
• 3:14
  the
• 3:14
  first
• 3:14
  step
• 3:14
  is
• 3:15
  just
• 3:15
  Giving
• 3:15
  yourself
• 3:16
  permission
• 3:16
  to
• 3:16
  love.
• 3:17
  Because
• 3:17
  I
• 3:18
  think
• 3:19
  life
• 3:19
  goes
• 3:20
  on.
• 3:20
  Ridiculous
• 3:21
  things
• 3:21
  happen.
• 3:22
  You
• 3:23
  know,
• 3:23
  I
• 3:23
  went
• 3:23
  in
• 3:24
  for
• 3:24
  a
• 3:25
  diagnostic
• 3:25
  mri,
• 3:26
  and
• 3:27
  because
• 3:27
  you're
• 3:27
  sort
• 3:28
  of
• 3:28
  stressed
• 3:28
  out
• 3:28
  and
• 3:29
  overwhelmed
• 3:29
  like
• 3:29
  it.
• 3:30
  I
• 3:30
  had
• 3:30
  a
• 3:30
  hard
• 3:30
  time
• 3:31
  taking
• 3:31
  in
• 3:31
  information
• 3:32
  just
• 3:32
  at
• 3:32
  any
• 3:32
  given
• 3:33
  point.
• 3:33
  You
• 3:34
  know,
• 3:34
  I
• 3:34
  was
• 3:34
  just
• 3:34
  very
• 3:34
  nervous
• 3:35
  and
• 3:36
  scared
• 3:37
  and
• 3:37
  stressed
• 3:38
  out.
• 3:39
  So,
• 3:40
  you
• 3:40
  know,
• 3:40
  the
• 3:40
  nurse
• 3:41
  was
• 3:41
  like,
• 3:41
  giving
• 3:41
  me
• 3:41
  all
• 3:41
  the
• 3:41
  instructions
• 3:42
  about
• 3:42
  what
• 3:43
  to
• 3:43
  do
• 3:43
  for
• 3:44
  the
• 3:44
  mri.
• 3:45
  And,
• 3:46
  you
• 3:46
  know,
• 3:46
  I.
• 3:47
  I
• 3:47
  actually,
• 3:48
  like
• 3:48
  just
• 3:48
  midway
• 3:49
  through,
• 3:49
  just
• 3:50
  blanked,
• 3:50
  you
• 3:51
  know.
• 3:51
  So
• 3:51
  then
• 3:51
  when
• 3:51
  it
• 3:51
  came.
• 3:52
  When
• 3:52
  it
• 3:52
  came
• 3:52
  down
• 3:52
  to,
• 3:53
  like,
• 3:53
  am
• 3:53
  I
• 3:54
  supposed
• 3:54
  to
• 3:54
  take
• 3:54
  off
• 3:54
  all
• 3:55
  my
• 3:55
  clothes?
• 3:55
  Some
• 3:55
  of
• 3:56
  my
• 3:56
  clothes,
• 3:56
  like,
• 3:56
  how
• 3:57
  is
• 3:57
  this
• 3:57
  supposed
• 3:57
  to
• 3:57
  work?
• 3:58
  You
• 3:58
  know,
• 3:59
  I
• 4:00
  only
• 4:00
  got
• 4:00
  it
• 4:00
  half
• 4:00
  right
• 4:02
  when
• 4:02
  I
• 4:03
  went
• 4:03
  in
• 4:03
  there.
• 4:04
  I
• 4:05
  got
• 4:05
  some
• 4:05
  strange
• 4:05
  looks
• 4:07
  about
• 4:07
  it,
• 4:08
  but
• 4:08
  everything
• 4:08
  was
• 4:09
  okay,
• 4:09
  you
• 4:09
  know,
• 4:11
  but
• 4:11
  at
• 4:12
  the.
• 4:12
  After
• 4:12
  that,
• 4:13
  I
• 4:13
  just
• 4:13
  laughed
• 4:13
  at
• 4:13
  myself
• 4:14
  and
• 4:14
  I
• 4:15
  laughed
• 4:15
  at
• 4:15
  the
• 4:15
  situation
• 4:16
  because
• 4:17
  it's
• 4:17
  absurd.
• 4:18
  And
• 4:18
  then
• 4:18
  I
• 4:18
  told
• 4:18
  my
• 4:18
  husband
• 4:19
  about
• 4:19
  it,
• 4:19
  and
• 4:19
  we
• 4:19
  laughed
• 4:19
  about
• 4:20
  it.
• 4:20
  You
• 4:20
  know,
• 4:20
  I
• 4:20
  mean,
• 4:21
  I
• 4:21
  think
• 4:22
  it's
• 4:22
  okay,
• 4:23
  you
• 4:23
  know,
• 4:24
  to
• 4:24
  be
• 4:24
  silly,
• 4:26
  to
• 4:26
  have
• 4:26
  silly
• 4:27
  things
• 4:27
  happen,
• 4:27
  to
• 4:28
  laugh,
• 4:29
  to
• 4:30
  be
• 4:30
  sarcastic
• 4:31
  even,
• 4:32
  because
• 4:32
  I
• 4:33
  think
• 4:33
  it's
• 4:33
  part
• 4:34
  of
• 4:34
  taking
• 4:34
  back
• 4:34
  your
• 4:35
  power
• 4:35
  when
• 4:35
  you're
• 4:36
  scared
• 4:37
  and
• 4:37
  overwhelmed
• 4:37
  and
• 4:38
  stressed
• 4:38
  out.
• 4:39
  Laughing
• 4:40
  helps
• 4:40
  settle
• 4:40
  you,
• 4:41
  helps
• 4:42
  take
• 4:42
  back
• 4:42
  your
• 4:42
  agency,
• 4:43
  takes
• 4:44
  away
• 4:44
  the
• 4:44
  bite
• 4:44
  of
• 4:45
  the
• 4:45
  fear.
• 4:45
  Because
• 4:46
  you
• 4:47
  can't
• 4:47
  really
• 4:47
  be
• 4:47
  afraid
• 4:47
  if
• 4:48
  you're
• 4:48
  laughing.
• 4:49
  Well,
• 4:49
  yes,
• 4:49
  I
• 4:50
  was
• 4:50
  going
• 4:50
  to
• 4:50
  say
• 4:50
  you
• 4:50
  can't
• 4:51
  be
• 4:51
  stressed
• 4:51
  out
• 4:51
  and
• 4:52
  laughing
• 4:52
  at
• 4:52
  the
• 4:52
  same
• 4:52
  time.
• 4:53
  It's
• 4:53
  kind
• 4:53
  of
• 4:53
  like
• 4:53
  you're
• 4:54
  breaking
• 4:54
  brain
• 4:54
  is
• 4:54
  like,
• 4:54
  no,
• 4:55
  so.
• 4:55
  And
• 4:55
  also.
• 4:56
  And
• 4:56
  also
• 4:57
  just
• 4:57
  the
• 4:57
  fact
• 4:58
  that,
• 4:58
  you
• 4:59
  know,
• 4:59
  that
• 4:59
  positive
• 5:00
  energy
• 5:00
  is
• 5:01
  healing
• 5:01
  to
• 5:01
  your
• 5:01
  body,
• 5:02
  it's
• 5:02
  not
• 5:02
  just
• 5:02
  healing
• 5:03
  to
• 5:03
  your
• 5:03
  mind.
• 5:03
  It
• 5:03
  is
• 5:04
  so
• 5:04
  healing
• 5:04
  to
• 5:05
  your
• 5:05
  body.
• 5:05
  And
• 5:05
  they
• 5:05
  found
• 5:06
  that,
• 5:06
  I
• 5:06
  mean,
• 5:06
  there
• 5:06
  is
• 5:07
  laugh,
• 5:07
  you
• 5:07
  know,
• 5:07
  laugh
• 5:08
  yoga
• 5:08
  and
• 5:08
  laugh
• 5:09
  therapy.
• 5:09
  And
• 5:10
  this,
• 5:11
  because
• 5:11
  it
• 5:11
  raises
• 5:12
  the
• 5:12
  endorphins.
• 5:12
  It
• 5:13
  gets
• 5:13
  different
• 5:13
  parts
• 5:13
  of
• 5:13
  your
• 5:14
  brain
• 5:14
  moving.
• 5:14
  It's
• 5:15
  flowing.
• 5:15
  It's,
• 5:16
  you
• 5:17
  know,
• 5:17
  where
• 5:17
  you
• 5:18
  think
• 5:18
  about,
• 5:18
  you
• 5:18
  bring
• 5:18
  about.
• 5:19
  And
• 5:20
  so
• 5:20
  the
• 5:20
  more
• 5:20
  I
• 5:21
  feel
• 5:21
  like,
• 5:21
  the
• 5:21
  more
• 5:22
  positivity
• 5:22
  and
• 5:22
  the
• 5:23
  more
• 5:23
  humor
• 5:23
  you
• 5:23
  can
• 5:24
  bring
• 5:24
  into
• 5:24
  it.
• 5:24
  But
• 5:24
  at
• 5:25
  the
• 5:25
  same
• 5:25
  time,
• 5:27
  you
• 5:27
  know,
• 5:27
  talk
• 5:27
  to
• 5:27
  us
• 5:28
  about,
• 5:28
  like,
• 5:30
  obviously
• 5:30
  you
• 5:31
  were
• 5:31
  like,
• 5:31
  oh,
• 5:31
  you
• 5:32
  have
• 5:32
  cancer.
• 5:33
  Ha,
• 5:33
  ha,
• 5:33
  ha
• 5:33
  ha.
• 5:34
  You
• 5:34
  know,
• 5:36
  it
• 5:36
  was
• 5:36
  not
• 5:36
  funny.
• 5:37
  When
• 5:37
  I
• 5:37
  heard
• 5:37
  it
• 5:37
  the
• 5:37
  first
• 5:38
  time.
• 5:40
  It
• 5:40
  was.
• 5:40
  It
• 5:40
  was
• 5:41
  terrifying.
• 5:41
  Yeah,
• 5:42
  it
• 5:42
  was
• 5:42
  absolutely
• 5:43
  horrifying.
• 5:44
  I
• 5:44
  mean,
• 5:46
  you
• 5:46
  know,
• 5:47
  I
• 5:47
  think
• 5:47
  the
• 5:47
  very
• 5:47
  first
• 5:48
  time
• 5:48
  I,
• 5:49
  you
• 5:49
  know,
• 5:49
  the
• 5:49
  radiologist
• 5:50
  called
• 5:50
  and
• 5:50
  told
• 5:51
  me
• 5:51
  that,
• 5:52
  you
• 5:52
  know,
• 5:52
  it
• 5:52
  was.
• 5:53
  It
• 5:53
  was
• 5:54
  breast
• 5:54
  cancer.
• 5:55
  I
• 5:58
  went
• 5:58
  into
• 5:58
  a
• 5:59
  white
• 5:59
  room,
• 5:59
  you
• 5:59
  know,
• 6:00
  just
• 6:00
  of
• 6:01
  sort
• 6:01
  of
• 6:01
  panic,
• 6:01
  like,
• 6:03
  you
• 6:03
  know,
• 6:03
  I
• 6:03
  was
• 6:03
  there,
• 6:04
  I
• 6:04
  was
• 6:04
  on
• 6:04
  the
• 6:04
  phone,
• 6:04
  I
• 6:04
  was
• 6:05
  listening.
• 6:05
  Nothing
• 6:06
  was
• 6:06
  Going
• 6:06
  in,
• 6:07
  you
• 6:07
  know,
• 6:07
  I
• 6:07
  was
• 6:07
  just
• 6:07
  sort
• 6:08
  of
• 6:08
  overwhelmed
• 6:10
  and
• 6:10
  then,
• 6:11
  you
• 6:12
  know,
• 6:12
  hung
• 6:12
  up
• 6:12
  the
• 6:12
  phone.
• 6:13
  And
• 6:13
  my
• 6:13
  husband
• 6:13
  came
• 6:13
  in
• 6:14
  and
• 6:14
  was
• 6:14
  like,
• 6:15
  well,
• 6:15
  what
• 6:15
  is
• 6:15
  it?
• 6:15
  And
• 6:15
  I
• 6:16
  said,
• 6:16
  well,
• 6:16
  it's
• 6:16
  cancer.
• 6:16
  And
• 6:16
  he
• 6:17
  said,
• 6:17
  well,
• 6:17
  what
• 6:17
  stage?
• 6:17
  I'm
• 6:18
  like,
• 6:18
  I
• 6:18
  don't
• 6:18
  know.
• 6:18
  What
• 6:18
  do
• 6:19
  we
• 6:19
  do
• 6:19
  next?
• 6:19
  I'm
• 6:19
  like,
• 6:19
  I
• 6:19
  have
• 6:20
  no
• 6:20
  idea.
• 6:21
  And
• 6:22
  then
• 6:22
  we
• 6:22
  call
• 6:23
  back,
• 6:23
  and
• 6:23
  the
• 6:23
  radiologist
• 6:24
  is
• 6:24
  like,
• 6:24
  well,
• 6:25
  this
• 6:25
  happens
• 6:25
  a
• 6:25
  lot,
• 6:27
  you
• 6:27
  know,
• 6:27
  so
• 6:28
  people
• 6:28
  get
• 6:28
  overwhelmed.
• 6:29
  You
• 6:29
  know,
• 6:29
  this
• 6:30
  is
• 6:30
  just
• 6:30
  what
• 6:30
  happens.
• 6:31
  So
• 6:32
  I
• 6:32
  think,
• 6:33
  you
• 6:33
  know,
• 6:33
  like,
• 6:34
  if.
• 6:34
  If
• 6:34
  there's
• 6:35
  fight
• 6:35
  or
• 6:35
  flight,
• 6:35
  I'm
• 6:36
  sort
• 6:36
  of
• 6:36
  freeze.
• 6:37
  Right,
• 6:38
  right.
• 6:39
  So
• 6:39
  I
• 6:39
  think
• 6:40
  so.
• 6:40
  Normal.
• 6:42
  Yeah.
• 6:42
  So
• 6:42
  that's.
• 6:43
  That's
• 6:43
  how
• 6:43
  I
• 6:43
  felt.
• 6:44
  Just
• 6:44
  completely
• 6:45
  overwhelmed.
• 6:46
  Like,
• 6:46
  how
• 6:46
  am
• 6:46
  I
• 6:46
  supposed
• 6:47
  to
• 6:47
  even
• 6:48
  start
• 6:48
  to
• 6:48
  fight
• 6:48
  this
• 6:49
  battle?
• 6:50
  You
• 6:51
  know,
• 6:51
  I.
• 6:51
  I
• 6:51
  think.
• 6:52
  I
• 6:52
  think
• 6:52
  for
• 6:53
  all
• 6:53
  of
• 6:53
  us,
• 6:54
  no
• 6:55
  one
• 6:55
  grows
• 6:55
  up
• 6:55
  in
• 6:55
  a
• 6:55
  perfect
• 6:56
  household.
• 6:56
  Like,
• 6:56
  no
• 6:57
  one
• 6:57
  has,
• 6:57
  like,
• 6:57
  all
• 6:57
  the
• 6:58
  answers.
• 6:58
  And
• 6:58
  then
• 6:59
  when
• 6:59
  life
• 6:59
  throws
• 7:00
  you
• 7:00
  a
• 7:00
  curveball,
• 7:00
  especially,
• 7:02
  you're
• 7:02
  like,
• 7:02
  what
• 7:02
  do
• 7:02
  I
• 7:03
  fall
• 7:03
  back
• 7:03
  on?
• 7:03
  Like,
• 7:03
  what.
• 7:04
  How
• 7:04
  do
• 7:04
  I.
• 7:05
  How
• 7:05
  do
• 7:05
  I
• 7:05
  even
• 7:05
  begin
• 7:06
  to
• 7:06
  navigate
• 7:07
  this?
• 7:07
  And
• 7:08
  so
• 7:09
  it
• 7:09
  was
• 7:09
  really
• 7:09
  this.
• 7:09
  Kind
• 7:10
  of
• 7:10
  the
• 7:10
  start
• 7:10
  of
• 7:10
  a
• 7:10
  long
• 7:10
  journey
• 7:11
  for
• 7:11
  me.
• 7:12
  Right.
• 7:12
  So
• 7:12
  if
• 7:13
  you
• 7:13
  could
• 7:13
  give
• 7:13
  the
• 7:13
  listeners
• 7:14
  some
• 7:14
  advice.
• 7:14
  Let's
• 7:15
  say
• 7:15
  you
• 7:15
  do
• 7:15
  get
• 7:15
  that
• 7:15
  diagnosis
• 7:16
  of
• 7:16
  whatever,
• 7:17
  and
• 7:17
  it
• 7:17
  could
• 7:17
  be
• 7:17
  really
• 7:18
  anything,
• 7:18
  because
• 7:19
  anything
• 7:20
  that
• 7:20
  you
• 7:20
  think
• 7:20
  is
• 7:20
  going
• 7:21
  to
• 7:21
  change
• 7:21
  the
• 7:21
  trajectory
• 7:22
  of
• 7:22
  your
• 7:22
  life
• 7:23
  one
• 7:23
  way
• 7:23
  or
• 7:23
  the
• 7:23
  other
• 7:24
  is
• 7:24
  going
• 7:24
  to
• 7:24
  be
• 7:24
  a
• 7:24
  shock.
• 7:25
  And
• 7:25
  you're
• 7:25
  going
• 7:25
  to,
• 7:25
  you
• 7:26
  know,
• 7:26
  you're
• 7:26
  going
• 7:26
  to
• 7:26
  go
• 7:26
  through
• 7:26
  the
• 7:27
  stages
• 7:27
  of
• 7:27
  being
• 7:28
  mad
• 7:28
  and
• 7:28
  being,
• 7:29
  you
• 7:29
  know,
• 7:29
  like,
• 7:30
  denial,
• 7:30
  being
• 7:30
  mad.
• 7:31
  You're
• 7:31
  going
• 7:31
  to
• 7:31
  go
• 7:31
  through
• 7:31
  all
• 7:31
  those
• 7:32
  stages.
• 7:32
  But
• 7:33
  what
• 7:33
  would
• 7:33
  be
• 7:33
  some
• 7:33
  advice
• 7:34
  you
• 7:34
  might
• 7:34
  give
• 7:34
  people,
• 7:35
  like,
• 7:35
  for
• 7:35
  that
• 7:35
  initial
• 7:36
  shock,
• 7:37
  like,
• 7:37
  how
• 7:38
  to
• 7:38
  kind
• 7:38
  of
• 7:38
  navigate
• 7:39
  that?
• 7:39
  Yeah.
• 7:40
  You
• 7:40
  know,
• 7:41
  first
• 7:41
  of
• 7:41
  all,
• 7:41
  I
• 7:41
  was
• 7:42
  incredibly
• 7:42
  lucky
• 7:43
  because
• 7:43
  I
• 7:44
  had
• 7:45
  a
• 7:45
  counselor
• 7:46
  that
• 7:46
  I
• 7:46
  had
• 7:46
  talked
• 7:47
  to
• 7:47
  at
• 7:47
  various
• 7:47
  traumatic
• 7:48
  points
• 7:48
  in
• 7:48
  my
• 7:48
  life.
• 7:48
  I
• 7:49
  had
• 7:49
  a
• 7:49
  divorce
• 7:49
  and
• 7:50
  talked
• 7:50
  to
• 7:50
  her.
• 7:51
  I
• 7:51
  had
• 7:51
  a
• 7:52
  miscarriage,
• 7:52
  talked
• 7:53
  to
• 7:53
  her
• 7:53
  and
• 7:53
  talked
• 7:54
  through
• 7:54
  my
• 7:54
  feelings
• 7:54
  about
• 7:55
  that.
• 7:57
  And
• 7:57
  so
• 7:57
  when,
• 7:58
  you
• 7:59
  know,
• 7:59
  this
• 7:59
  came
• 7:59
  up,
• 7:59
  I
• 8:00
  knew
• 8:00
  it
• 8:00
  was
• 8:00
  going
• 8:00
  to
• 8:00
  be
• 8:00
  traumatic.
• 8:01
  Already.
• 8:01
  I
• 8:02
  already
• 8:02
  felt
• 8:02
  traumatized.
• 8:04
  You
• 8:04
  know,
• 8:04
  I
• 8:04
  was
• 8:04
  glad
• 8:05
  I
• 8:05
  had
• 8:05
  that
• 8:05
  resource.
• 8:07
  And
• 8:07
  she,
• 8:08
  you
• 8:08
  know,
• 8:08
  I'd
• 8:08
  known
• 8:08
  her
• 8:08
  for
• 8:09
  years,
• 8:09
  and
• 8:10
  so
• 8:10
  I
• 8:10
  reached
• 8:10
  out
• 8:11
  to
• 8:11
  her,
• 8:11
  and
• 8:12
  the
• 8:13
  first
• 8:13
  thing
• 8:13
  she
• 8:13
  said
• 8:14
  to
• 8:14
  me
• 8:14
  is
• 8:14
  that
• 8:15
  cancer
• 8:15
  doesn't
• 8:16
  get
• 8:16
  to
• 8:16
  decide.
• 8:17
  And
• 8:17
  it
• 8:17
  was
• 8:18
  such
• 8:18
  a
• 8:19
  powerful
• 8:19
  sentiment
• 8:20
  because,
• 8:21
  you
• 8:22
  know,
• 8:22
  when
• 8:22
  you're.
• 8:22
  When
• 8:23
  you're
• 8:23
  knocked
• 8:23
  for
• 8:23
  a
• 8:23
  loop
• 8:24
  with
• 8:24
  really
• 8:24
  bad
• 8:25
  news,
• 8:26
  it
• 8:26
  takes
• 8:26
  over
• 8:26
  your
• 8:26
  life.
• 8:27
  You
• 8:27
  feel
• 8:27
  like
• 8:27
  you're
• 8:28
  powerless
• 8:29
  for
• 8:29
  whatever
• 8:29
  it
• 8:30
  might
• 8:30
  be,
• 8:30
  whether
• 8:30
  that's
• 8:31
  cancer,
• 8:32
  some
• 8:32
  other
• 8:32
  health
• 8:32
  issue,
• 8:34
  a
• 8:34
  death
• 8:34
  in
• 8:34
  the
• 8:35
  family,
• 8:36
  suddenly
• 8:37
  Your
• 8:37
  life
• 8:37
  is
• 8:37
  an
• 8:38
  upheaval,
• 8:38
  and
• 8:38
  you
• 8:39
  feel
• 8:39
  like
• 8:39
  you
• 8:40
  just
• 8:41
  have
• 8:41
  no
• 8:41
  control.
• 8:42
  So
• 8:42
  for
• 8:43
  her
• 8:43
  to
• 8:43
  tell
• 8:43
  me
• 8:43
  the
• 8:43
  cancer
• 8:44
  doesn't
• 8:44
  get
• 8:44
  to
• 8:44
  decide,
• 8:45
  meaning
• 8:46
  I
• 8:46
  get
• 8:47
  to
• 8:47
  decide
• 8:47
  my
• 8:47
  treatment.
• 8:48
  If
• 8:48
  I
• 8:48
  get
• 8:48
  treatment,
• 8:49
  I
• 8:49
  get
• 8:49
  to
• 8:49
  decide
• 8:50
  how
• 8:50
  I
• 8:50
  feel
• 8:50
  about
• 8:50
  it.
• 8:51
  I
• 8:51
  get
• 8:51
  to
• 8:51
  decide
• 8:52
  when
• 8:52
  I
• 8:52
  have
• 8:52
  that
• 8:52
  treatment,
• 8:53
  who
• 8:53
  gives
• 8:54
  it
• 8:54
  to
• 8:54
  me.
• 8:55
  There's
• 8:55
  a
• 8:56
  lot
• 8:56
  of
• 8:56
  choice
• 8:56
  and
• 8:57
  agenc
• 8:58
  left
• 8:58
  to
• 8:59
  me,
• 8:59
  and
• 8:59
  that
• 9:00
  was
• 9:00
  so
• 9:00
  grounding,
• 9:02
  calming
• 9:02
  for
• 9:03
  me
• 9:03
  to.
• 9:04
  To
• 9:05
  realize
• 9:05
  that
• 9:06
  that
• 9:06
  everything
• 9:07
  wasn't
• 9:07
  out
• 9:07
  of
• 9:07
  my
• 9:08
  control.
• 9:08
  There
• 9:08
  were
• 9:08
  still
• 9:09
  things
• 9:10
  I
• 9:10
  had
• 9:10
  control
• 9:10
  over.
• 9:11
  So,
• 9:12
  I
• 9:12
  mean,
• 9:12
  for.
• 9:12
  For
• 9:13
  listeners
• 9:13
  out
• 9:13
  there,
• 9:14
  even
• 9:15
  when
• 9:15
  you
• 9:15
  feel
• 9:15
  like
• 9:16
  such
• 9:16
  turmoil,
• 9:17
  such
• 9:17
  that
• 9:17
  your
• 9:18
  life
• 9:18
  has
• 9:18
  turned
• 9:18
  upside
• 9:19
  down,
• 9:19
  I
• 9:19
  would
• 9:19
  say
• 9:20
  look
• 9:21
  for
• 9:21
  the
• 9:21
  ways,
• 9:22
  you
• 9:22
  know,
• 9:23
  that
• 9:23
  you
• 9:23
  still
• 9:23
  have
• 9:24
  agency.
• 9:24
  Look
• 9:24
  for
• 9:25
  the
• 9:25
  decisions
• 9:25
  you
• 9:25
  still
• 9:26
  get
• 9:26
  to
• 9:26
  make
• 9:27
  and
• 9:27
  make
• 9:28
  them.
• 9:28
  You
• 9:28
  know,
• 9:29
  I
• 9:29
  think
• 9:29
  that
• 9:29
  that
• 9:30
  can
• 9:30
  help
• 9:30
  you
• 9:30
  kind
• 9:30
  of
• 9:30
  get
• 9:31
  your
• 9:31
  arms
• 9:31
  around
• 9:32
  a
• 9:32
  situation
• 9:33
  that
• 9:33
  feels
• 9:33
  out
• 9:33
  of
• 9:33
  your
• 9:34
  control.
• 9:34
  Right.
• 9:35
  And
• 9:35
  I
• 9:35
  love
• 9:35
  that
• 9:36
  saying.
• 9:36
  Just
• 9:36
  that.
• 9:37
  Just
• 9:37
  that
• 9:37
  saying
• 9:37
  kind
• 9:38
  of
• 9:38
  gave
• 9:38
  me
• 9:38
  goosebumps.
• 9:39
  Yeah.
• 9:40
  Cancer
• 9:40
  doesn't
• 9:40
  get
• 9:41
  to
• 9:41
  decide.
• 9:42
  It
• 9:42
  doesn't
• 9:43
  get
• 9:43
  to
• 9:43
  decide.
• 9:44
  Yeah.
• 9:45
  Wow.
• 9:45
  That's.
• 9:46
  That's
• 9:46
  pretty
• 9:47
  profound
• 9:47
  advice.
• 9:48
  It
• 9:48
  is.
• 9:49
  It
• 9:49
  is.
• 9:51
  So.
• 9:52
  So
• 9:53
  talk
• 9:53
  about
• 9:54
  the
• 9:54
  moment.
• 9:54
  You
• 9:55
  said
• 9:55
  you
• 9:55
  talk
• 9:55
  about
• 9:55
  fight,
• 9:56
  flight,
• 9:56
  freeze,
• 9:57
  and
• 9:57
  you
• 9:57
  kind
• 9:57
  of
• 9:58
  froze.
• 9:59
  When
• 9:59
  was
• 9:59
  the
• 10:00
  moment
• 10:00
  or
• 10:00
  was
• 10:00
  there
• 10:01
  a
• 10:01
  defining
• 10:01
  moment
• 10:02
  where
• 10:02
  you
• 10:02
  decided,
• 10:03
  oh,
• 10:04
  hell,
• 10:04
  no,
• 10:04
  I'm
• 10:04
  gonna
• 10:05
  fight?
• 10:06
  Oh,
• 10:06
  yeah.
• 10:07
  Oh,
• 10:07
  yeah.
• 10:08
  I
• 10:08
  think
• 10:08
  it
• 10:09
  was,
• 10:10
  you
• 10:10
  know.
• 10:11
  Oh,
• 10:11
  it
• 10:11
  took
• 10:11
  me
• 10:11
  over
• 10:12
  time.
• 10:12
  You
• 10:12
  know,
• 10:13
  there.
• 10:13
  It's
• 10:13
  a
• 10:13
  process.
• 10:15
  You
• 10:15
  have
• 10:15
  a
• 10:15
  lot.
• 10:15
  There's
• 10:16
  a
• 10:16
  lot
• 10:16
  of
• 10:16
  medical
• 10:16
  appointments.
• 10:18
  There's
• 10:18
  a
• 10:18
  lot
• 10:18
  of
• 10:19
  advice
• 10:19
  friends
• 10:19
  and
• 10:20
  family
• 10:20
  give
• 10:20
  you.
• 10:22
  But
• 10:22
  I
• 10:22
  think
• 10:23
  it
• 10:23
  was
• 10:25
  after
• 10:25
  I.
• 10:25
  Told.
• 10:28
  My
• 10:29
  closest
• 10:29
  friends
• 10:30
  and
• 10:30
  family,
• 10:31
  and
• 10:31
  at
• 10:32
  the
• 10:32
  time,
• 10:32
  I
• 10:33
  mean,
• 10:33
  we
• 10:33
  have
• 10:34
  a
• 10:34
  blended
• 10:34
  family
• 10:34
  of
• 10:34
  five
• 10:35
  children
• 10:35
  at
• 10:36
  that
• 10:36
  time,
• 10:36
  three
• 10:37
  of
• 10:37
  them
• 10:37
  were
• 10:37
  in
• 10:37
  high
• 10:37
  school.
• 10:39
  My
• 10:39
  two
• 10:39
  biological
• 10:40
  children
• 10:40
  and
• 10:41
  my
• 10:41
  stepson.
• 10:43
  And
• 10:44
  it
• 10:44
  was
• 10:46
  just
• 10:47
  so
• 10:47
  powerful
• 10:48
  and
• 10:49
  frightening
• 10:49
  to
• 10:50
  me
• 10:50
  that,
• 10:51
  you
• 10:51
  know,
• 10:51
  my
• 10:52
  doctor
• 10:52
  said,
• 10:52
  well,
• 10:53
  my
• 10:53
  youngest
• 10:53
  was
• 10:54
  a
• 10:54
  sophomore,
• 10:55
  and
• 10:56
  they
• 10:56
  were
• 10:56
  talking
• 10:56
  about,
• 10:57
  well,
• 10:57
  if
• 10:57
  you
• 10:57
  don't
• 10:57
  get
• 10:57
  treatment,
• 10:58
  there's
• 10:58
  a
• 10:58
  chance
• 10:58
  you're
• 10:59
  not
• 10:59
  going
• 10:59
  to
• 10:59
  see
• 10:59
  your
• 11:00
  graduation.
• 11:00
  Like,
• 11:01
  there's
• 11:01
  a
• 11:01
  very
• 11:02
  good
• 11:02
  chance
• 11:02
  with
• 11:02
  what
• 11:02
  you
• 11:03
  have.
• 11:03
  Yeah.
• 11:04
  That,
• 11:05
  you
• 11:05
  know,
• 11:05
  that's
• 11:05
  it.
• 11:06
  And
• 11:06
  to
• 11:07
  me,
• 11:07
  I
• 11:08
  just.
• 11:09
  It
• 11:09
  had
• 11:09
  never
• 11:09
  occurred
• 11:10
  to
• 11:10
  me
• 11:11
  to
• 11:11
  ever
• 11:11
  worry
• 11:12
  about
• 11:12
  that,
• 11:12
  you
• 11:13
  know,
• 11:13
  to
• 11:13
  ever
• 11:13
  worry
• 11:14
  about
• 11:14
  not
• 11:14
  seeing
• 11:15
  my
• 11:15
  youngest
• 11:16
  graduate
• 11:16
  high
• 11:16
  school.
• 11:16
  It
• 11:17
  just.
• 11:17
  It
• 11:18
  had
• 11:18
  always
• 11:18
  and
• 11:18
  throughout
• 11:18
  my
• 11:19
  life
• 11:19
  been
• 11:19
  a
• 11:19
  given.
• 11:19
  Of
• 11:19
  course
• 11:20
  I
• 11:20
  was
• 11:20
  going
• 11:20
  to
• 11:20
  see
• 11:20
  her
• 11:20
  graduate
• 11:21
  high
• 11:21
  school.
• 11:23
  So
• 11:23
  I
• 11:24
  think
• 11:24
  when
• 11:24
  it
• 11:25
  became
• 11:25
  very
• 11:25
  real,
• 11:28
  I
• 11:28
  think
• 11:28
  just
• 11:28
  something
• 11:28
  clicked
• 11:29
  in
• 11:29
  me
• 11:29
  where
• 11:31
  I
• 11:31
  was
• 11:31
  like,
• 11:31
  I'm.
• 11:32
  Cancer
• 11:32
  doesn't
• 11:33
  get
• 11:33
  to
• 11:33
  decide
• 11:33
  and
• 11:34
  cancer
• 11:34
  doesn't
• 11:34
  get
• 11:34
  to
• 11:35
  take
• 11:35
  these
• 11:35
  things.
• 11:37
  I
• 11:37
  want
• 11:37
  to
• 11:37
  be
• 11:38
  there.
• 11:38
  I
• 11:38
  will
• 11:39
  be
• 11:39
  there,
• 11:39
  you
• 11:40
  know,
• 11:42
  and
• 11:42
  cancer
• 11:43
  is
• 11:43
  just
• 11:43
  not
• 11:43
  going
• 11:43
  to
• 11:44
  take
• 11:44
  this.
• 11:45
  So
• 11:45
  I
• 11:45
  think
• 11:46
  at
• 11:46
  that
• 11:46
  point,
• 11:46
  it
• 11:47
  just
• 11:47
  really
• 11:47
  became,
• 11:48
  you
• 11:49
  know,
• 11:49
  me
• 11:50
  feeling
• 11:50
  like
• 11:51
  I
• 11:51
  was
• 11:51
  up
• 11:51
  for
• 11:51
  the
• 11:52
  fight,
• 11:52
  I
• 11:52
  wanted
• 11:53
  the
• 11:53
  fight.
• 11:55
  This
• 11:56
  was
• 11:56
  something
• 11:56
  that
• 11:56
  mattered
• 11:56
  a
• 11:57
  lot
• 11:57
  to
• 11:57
  me.
• 11:58
  Right
• 11:58
  now,
• 11:59
  this
• 11:59
  is
• 11:59
  kind
• 11:59
  of
• 12:00
  off
• 12:00
  topic,
• 12:01
  but
• 12:01
  just
• 12:01
  something
• 12:01
  I'm
• 12:02
  curious
• 12:02
  about.
• 12:02
  So
• 12:03
  there's
• 12:03
  a
• 12:03
  lot
• 12:03
  of
• 12:03
  people
• 12:03
  that
• 12:04
  are
• 12:04
  like,
• 12:04
  well,
• 12:04
  if
• 12:04
  I
• 12:04
  get
• 12:05
  cancer,
• 12:05
  I'm
• 12:05
  not
• 12:06
  going
• 12:06
  to
• 12:06
  do
• 12:06
  the
• 12:07
  chemo.
• 12:07
  I'm
• 12:07
  not
• 12:08
  doing
• 12:08
  radiation.
• 12:08
  I've
• 12:08
  seen
• 12:09
  people,
• 12:09
  you
• 12:09
  know,
• 12:10
  whatever.
• 12:11
  What
• 12:11
  is
• 12:11
  your
• 12:11
  thoughts?
• 12:12
  Not
• 12:13
  on
• 12:13
  that,
• 12:13
  because
• 12:14
  I
• 12:14
  know
• 12:14
  that's
• 12:14
  total
• 12:14
  choice,
• 12:15
  100%
• 12:16
  choice.
• 12:16
  But
• 12:16
  what
• 12:16
  are
• 12:16
  your
• 12:17
  thoughts
• 12:17
  on
• 12:18
  maybe
• 12:18
  giving
• 12:18
  people
• 12:19
  some
• 12:19
  moral
• 12:19
  support
• 12:20
  as
• 12:20
  to
• 12:20
  just
• 12:21
  really
• 12:21
  validate
• 12:22
  what
• 12:22
  they
• 12:23
  believe
• 12:23
  in
• 12:23
  and
• 12:23
  what
• 12:24
  they
• 12:24
  decide,
• 12:25
  regardless?
• 12:25
  Because
• 12:26
  it's
• 12:26
  going
• 12:26
  to
• 12:26
  be
• 12:26
  a
• 12:26
  lot
• 12:27
  of
• 12:27
  pressure
• 12:27
  from,
• 12:27
  you
• 12:28
  know,
• 12:28
  from
• 12:28
  everybody.
• 12:29
  Oh,
• 12:30
  sure.
• 12:30
  You
• 12:31
  know,
• 12:31
  for
• 12:31
  me,
• 12:32
  I'm
• 12:32
  never
• 12:32
  going
• 12:33
  to
• 12:33
  second
• 12:33
  guess
• 12:34
  anyone's
• 12:34
  decision
• 12:35
  about
• 12:36
  how
• 12:36
  they
• 12:36
  get
• 12:36
  treatment
• 12:37
  or
• 12:37
  don't
• 12:37
  get
• 12:37
  treatment
• 12:38
  for
• 12:38
  cancer.
• 12:38
  It
• 12:39
  is
• 12:39
  such
• 12:39
  an
• 12:39
  incredibly
• 12:40
  personal
• 12:40
  decision.
• 12:41
  There's
• 12:42
  so
• 12:42
  much
• 12:42
  that
• 12:42
  goes
• 12:43
  into
• 12:43
  it.
• 12:43
  I
• 12:43
  mean,
• 12:45
  I
• 12:45
  myself
• 12:46
  had
• 12:46
  a
• 12:46
  double
• 12:46
  mastectomy
• 12:47
  and
• 12:47
  chemotherapy
• 12:48
  and
• 12:49
  immunotherapy.
• 12:50
  But
• 12:50
  at
• 12:50
  each
• 12:51
  one
• 12:51
  of
• 12:51
  those
• 12:51
  stages,
• 12:52
  each
• 12:52
  of
• 12:52
  those
• 12:53
  decisions
• 12:53
  was
• 12:54
  incredibly
• 12:55
  difficult.
• 12:57
  They
• 12:57
  come
• 12:58
  with
• 13:00
  loss
• 13:01
  and,
• 13:02
  you
• 13:02
  know,
• 13:02
  grief
• 13:03
  and,
• 13:04
  you
• 13:04
  know,
• 13:05
  physical
• 13:05
  difficulty.
• 13:06
  For
• 13:06
  me,
• 13:07
  I.
• 13:08
  I
• 13:08
  just
• 13:08
  personally
• 13:09
  felt
• 13:09
  like
• 13:09
  I
• 13:09
  wanted
• 13:09
  to
• 13:09
  throw
• 13:10
  everything
• 13:10
  at
• 13:10
  cancer
• 13:11
  because
• 13:11
  I
• 13:11
  was
• 13:11
  going
• 13:12
  to
• 13:12
  be
• 13:12
  at
• 13:12
  that
• 13:12
  graduation.
• 13:13
  I
• 13:14
  was
• 13:14
  not
• 13:14
  going
• 13:14
  to
• 13:14
  miss
• 13:14
  it.
• 13:15
  But
• 13:16
  that
• 13:16
  was
• 13:16
  my
• 13:16
  choice.
• 13:18
  I
• 13:18
  know.
• 13:19
  You
• 13:19
  know,
• 13:19
  I've
• 13:20
  read
• 13:20
  about
• 13:21
  others
• 13:21
  and
• 13:21
  have
• 13:22
  heard
• 13:22
  friends
• 13:22
  who
• 13:23
  opt
• 13:23
  for,
• 13:24
  you
• 13:24
  know,
• 13:24
  less
• 13:25
  traditional
• 13:25
  means.
• 13:27
  You
• 13:27
  know,
• 13:29
  I
• 13:29
  am
• 13:30
  not
• 13:30
  judging,
• 13:30
  you
• 13:31
  know,
• 13:31
  I.
• 13:32
  I
• 13:32
  mean,
• 13:32
  it's
• 13:32
  incredibly
• 13:33
  personal
• 13:33
  decision
• 13:34
  in
• 13:34
  terms
• 13:35
  of,
• 13:35
  you
• 13:35
  know,
• 13:35
  how
• 13:36
  other
• 13:36
  people
• 13:36
  feel
• 13:38
  in
• 13:38
  supporting
• 13:39
  friends
• 13:39
  and
• 13:39
  family.
• 13:40
  It's
• 13:41
  difficult
• 13:41
  when
• 13:41
  you
• 13:41
  have
• 13:42
  a
• 13:42
  very
• 13:43
  strong
• 13:44
  view
• 13:44
  about
• 13:45
  what.
• 13:45
  Whatever
• 13:46
  it
• 13:46
  might
• 13:46
  be,
• 13:46
  chemotherapy,
• 13:47
  surgery,
• 13:49
  any
• 13:49
  kind
• 13:49
  of
• 13:49
  intervention,
• 13:51
  you
• 13:51
  know,
• 13:51
  we
• 13:51
  all
• 13:51
  have
• 13:52
  our
• 13:52
  opinions,
• 13:52
  we
• 13:53
  all
• 13:53
  have
• 13:53
  our
• 13:53
  strong
• 13:53
  beliefs
• 13:54
  about.
• 13:54
  About
• 13:54
  what's
• 13:55
  right.
• 13:56
  And
• 13:56
  when
• 13:56
  it
• 13:56
  comes
• 13:56
  to
• 13:56
  someone
• 13:57
  that
• 13:57
  we
• 13:57
  really,
• 13:57
  really
• 13:58
  care
• 13:58
  about,
• 13:58
  you
• 13:59
  know,
• 13:59
  we
• 13:59
  want
• 13:59
  what's
• 13:59
  best
• 13:59
  for
• 14:00
  them,
• 14:00
  at
• 14:01
  the
• 14:01
  end
• 14:01
  of
• 14:01
  the
• 14:01
  day,
• 14:02
  they
• 14:02
  have
• 14:02
  to
• 14:02
  be
• 14:03
  the
• 14:03
  ones
• 14:03
  to
• 14:03
  make
• 14:03
  that
• 14:04
  decision.
• 14:04
  They
• 14:05
  have
• 14:05
  to
• 14:05
  be
• 14:05
  the
• 14:05
  ones
• 14:05
  to
• 14:06
  really
• 14:07
  believe
• 14:07
  in
• 14:07
  the
• 14:07
  treatment.
• 14:08
  They're
• 14:09
  the
• 14:09
  ones
• 14:09
  getting
• 14:09
  it.
• 14:10
  You
• 14:10
  know,
• 14:11
  if
• 14:11
  it
• 14:11
  lengthens
• 14:12
  their
• 14:12
  life,
• 14:13
  if
• 14:13
  it
• 14:13
  shortens
• 14:13
  their
• 14:14
  life,
• 14:14
  it's
• 14:14
  still
• 14:15
  their
• 14:15
  choice.
• 14:16
  So
• 14:17
  I
• 14:17
  think.
• 14:18
  I
• 14:18
  think
• 14:18
  it's
• 14:18
  very
• 14:19
  difficult
• 14:20
  not
• 14:20
  to
• 14:20
  offer
• 14:20
  advice
• 14:21
  for
• 14:21
  people,
• 14:22
  but
• 14:22
  also
• 14:22
  very
• 14:23
  important
• 14:23
  that
• 14:23
  you
• 14:24
  don't.
• 14:24
  Unless
• 14:25
  it's
• 14:25
  Solicited,
• 14:26
  you
• 14:26
  know,
• 14:27
  Exactly.
• 14:28
  You
• 14:29
  know,
• 14:29
  I
• 14:29
  mean,
• 14:30
  everyone
• 14:31
  is
• 14:31
  unique.
• 14:32
  Everyone
• 14:32
  has
• 14:32
  different
• 14:33
  traumas
• 14:34
  and
• 14:34
  phobias
• 14:35
  and
• 14:35
  anxieties
• 14:36
  we're
• 14:36
  dealing
• 14:36
  with,
• 14:36
  that
• 14:37
  we're
• 14:37
  working
• 14:37
  through.
• 14:39
  And
• 14:39
  someone
• 14:40
  on
• 14:40
  the
• 14:40
  sidelines
• 14:41
  with,
• 14:43
  you
• 14:43
  know,
• 14:45
  a
• 14:45
  pamphlet
• 14:46
  of
• 14:46
  information
• 14:46
  that
• 14:47
  they
• 14:47
  feel
• 14:47
  like
• 14:47
  is
• 14:48
  perfect
• 14:49
  for
• 14:49
  us,
• 14:49
  you
• 14:49
  know,
• 14:49
  can
• 14:50
  maybe
• 14:50
  set
• 14:50
  us
• 14:51
  back,
• 14:51
  know,
• 14:51
  emotionally.
• 14:52
  So
• 14:53
  I,
• 14:53
  I
• 14:53
  would
• 14:53
  say,
• 14:54
  you
• 14:55
  know,
• 14:55
  let
• 14:55
  people
• 14:56
  have
• 14:56
  their,
• 14:56
  their
• 14:57
  own
• 14:57
  independence.
• 14:57
  This
• 14:58
  is
• 14:58
  their
• 14:58
  life.
• 14:59
  You
• 14:59
  love
• 14:59
  them,
• 15:00
  but
• 15:00
  they,
• 15:00
  they
• 15:01
  have
• 15:01
  to
• 15:01
  make
• 15:01
  this
• 15:01
  decision
• 15:02
  on
• 15:02
  their
• 15:02
  own.
• 15:03
  I
• 15:03
  was
• 15:03
  going
• 15:03
  to
• 15:03
  say.
• 15:03
  And
• 15:04
  energetically
• 15:04
  it
• 15:05
  does
• 15:05
  absolutely
• 15:05
  nothing
• 15:05
  for
• 15:06
  that
• 15:06
  person
• 15:06
  if
• 15:07
  you're
• 15:07
  telling
• 15:08
  them
• 15:08
  they're
• 15:08
  wrong
• 15:08
  because
• 15:09
  then
• 15:09
  they're
• 15:09
  second
• 15:09
  guessing
• 15:10
  themselves
• 15:10
  and
• 15:10
  then
• 15:10
  they're
• 15:11
  not
• 15:11
  in
• 15:11
  alignment
• 15:12
  with
• 15:12
  what
• 15:12
  they're
• 15:13
  believing
• 15:13
  anyway.
• 15:14
  Like
• 15:14
  if
• 15:14
  they
• 15:14
  have
• 15:14
  to
• 15:15
  go
• 15:15
  through
• 15:15
  another
• 15:15
  set
• 15:16
  of
• 15:16
  stress.
• 15:16
  So
• 15:16
  that's
• 15:17
  what
• 15:17
  I
• 15:17
  tell
• 15:17
  people
• 15:17
  is
• 15:17
  just
• 15:18
  be
• 15:19
  supportive
• 15:19
  either
• 15:19
  way.
• 15:20
  I
• 15:21
  mean,
• 15:21
  like
• 15:22
  you
• 15:22
  said,
• 15:22
  cancer
• 15:22
  has
• 15:23
  a
• 15:23
  life
• 15:23
  of
• 15:23
  its
• 15:23
  own,
• 15:24
  a
• 15:24
  mind
• 15:24
  of
• 15:24
  its
• 15:24
  own.
• 15:25
  It's
• 15:25
  like,
• 15:25
  I've
• 15:26
  seen
• 15:26
  people
• 15:26
  that
• 15:26
  have
• 15:26
  gone
• 15:26
  through
• 15:27
  chemo
• 15:27
  and
• 15:27
  it
• 15:27
  didn't
• 15:27
  work.
• 15:28
  I've
• 15:28
  seen
• 15:28
  people
• 15:28
  and
• 15:29
  I've
• 15:29
  seen
• 15:29
  people
• 15:30
  have
• 15:30
  gone
• 15:30
  through
• 15:30
  chemo
• 15:30
  and
• 15:31
  it
• 15:31
  did.
• 15:31
  Same
• 15:32
  way.
• 15:32
  Same
• 15:33
  way.
• 15:33
  I've
• 15:33
  seen
• 15:33
  people,
• 15:34
  you
• 15:34
  know,
• 15:34
  of
• 15:34
  course
• 15:34
  that
• 15:35
  went
• 15:35
  the
• 15:35
  natural
• 15:36
  pathway
• 15:36
  and
• 15:37
  they
• 15:37
  beat
• 15:37
  it.
• 15:37
  And
• 15:38
  then
• 15:38
  I've
• 15:38
  seen
• 15:38
  people
• 15:38
  that
• 15:39
  are
• 15:39
  said
• 15:39
  I
• 15:39
  don't
• 15:39
  want
• 15:40
  the
• 15:40
  chemo
• 15:40
  and
• 15:40
  they
• 15:40
  didn't.
• 15:41
  So
• 15:41
  it's,
• 15:41
  there's
• 15:42
  no
• 15:42
  right
• 15:42
  or
• 15:43
  wrong.
• 15:43
  Absolutely.
• 15:43
  Just
• 15:44
  so
• 15:44
  for
• 15:45
  the
• 15:45
  listeners
• 15:45
  out
• 15:45
  there,
• 15:45
  if
• 15:46
  you
• 15:46
  have
• 15:46
  someone,
• 15:46
  I
• 15:46
  mean,
• 15:47
  that's
• 15:47
  the,
• 15:47
  my
• 15:47
  best
• 15:48
  advice
• 15:48
  and
• 15:48
  maybe
• 15:48
  your,
• 15:49
  yours
• 15:49
  too,
• 15:49
  I'm
• 15:49
  sure
• 15:50
  is
• 15:50
  just
• 15:50
  be
• 15:50
  supportive
• 15:51
  either
• 15:51
  way.
• 15:52
  Yeah,
• 15:52
  let
• 15:53
  them
• 15:53
  know,
• 15:53
  you
• 15:54
  know,
• 15:54
  let
• 15:54
  them
• 15:54
  know
• 15:54
  you
• 15:55
  support
• 15:55
  and
• 15:55
  love
• 15:55
  them
• 15:56
  either
• 15:56
  way.
• 15:57
  Exactly.
• 15:57
  I,
• 15:58
  I
• 15:58
  would
• 15:58
  say
• 15:58
  just
• 15:58
  be
• 15:59
  a
• 15:59
  good
• 15:59
  listener,
• 16:00
  help
• 16:00
  them,
• 16:01
  help
• 16:01
  them
• 16:01
  talk
• 16:02
  through
• 16:02
  their
• 16:02
  fear.
• 16:02
  Like
• 16:03
  I,
• 16:03
  I
• 16:03
  think
• 16:03
  it's
• 16:03
  perfectly
• 16:04
  acceptable
• 16:05
  and
• 16:05
  wonderful
• 16:06
  if,
• 16:06
  if
• 16:07
  you're
• 16:07
  talking
• 16:07
  with
• 16:07
  someone
• 16:08
  who's
• 16:08
  like,
• 16:08
  I'm
• 16:09
  never
• 16:09
  doing
• 16:09
  chemo
• 16:10
  and
• 16:10
  then
• 16:10
  you're
• 16:10
  like,
• 16:10
  well,
• 16:10
  let's,
• 16:11
  let's
• 16:11
  dig
• 16:11
  into
• 16:11
  that.
• 16:11
  Why
• 16:12
  don't,
• 16:12
  why,
• 16:12
  why,
• 16:12
  you
• 16:12
  know,
• 16:13
  I
• 16:13
  don't
• 16:14
  even,
• 16:14
  you
• 16:14
  know,
• 16:15
  what
• 16:15
  is
• 16:15
  it
• 16:15
  about
• 16:15
  chemo
• 16:16
  that's
• 16:16
  bad?
• 16:17
  Like,
• 16:17
  what
• 16:18
  do
• 16:18
  you
• 16:18
  fear
• 16:18
  about
• 16:18
  it?
• 16:19
  Because
• 16:19
  sometimes
• 16:19
  just
• 16:20
  listening
• 16:21
  and
• 16:21
  walking
• 16:22
  through
• 16:22
  someone's
• 16:23
  anxieties
• 16:24
  and
• 16:24
  fears
• 16:25
  can
• 16:25
  also
• 16:25
  help
• 16:25
  them
• 16:26
  get
• 16:27
  clearer
• 16:27
  on
• 16:28
  like
• 16:28
  why
• 16:28
  they
• 16:29
  don't
• 16:29
  want
• 16:29
  something
• 16:29
  or
• 16:30
  why
• 16:30
  they
• 16:30
  do
• 16:30
  want
• 16:31
  something.
• 16:32
  You
• 16:32
  know,
• 16:32
  because
• 16:33
  at
• 16:33
  the
• 16:33
  end
• 16:33
  of
• 16:33
  the
• 16:33
  day
• 16:34
  you
• 16:34
  don't
• 16:34
  want
• 16:34
  to
• 16:34
  be
• 16:34
  the
• 16:34
  one
• 16:35
  pushing
• 16:35
  an
• 16:35
  agenda
• 16:36
  because
• 16:37
  then
• 16:37
  you
• 16:37
  take
• 16:37
  responsibility
• 16:38
  for
• 16:38
  that,
• 16:38
  whether
• 16:39
  it
• 16:39
  works
• 16:39
  out
• 16:39
  or
• 16:39
  doesn't
• 16:40
  work
• 16:40
  out.
• 16:40
  Like
• 16:40
  you're
• 16:41
  saying,
• 16:41
  and
• 16:41
  so
• 16:42
  much
• 16:42
  of
• 16:42
  that
• 16:42
  is
• 16:42
  not
• 16:42
  in
• 16:42
  our
• 16:43
  control
• 16:44
  whatsoever.
• 16:44
  So
• 16:44
  you
• 16:45
  don't
• 16:45
  really
• 16:45
  want
• 16:45
  to
• 16:45
  take
• 16:45
  on
• 16:46
  that
• 16:46
  responsibility,
• 16:47
  you
• 16:48
  know?
• 16:49
  No,
• 16:49
  absolutely
• 16:50
  not.
• 16:50
  So.
• 16:52
  Yeah,
• 16:52
  no,
• 16:52
  I
• 16:52
  just,
• 16:53
  I
• 16:53
  was
• 16:53
  just
• 16:53
  curious
• 16:53
  on
• 16:54
  your
• 16:54
  take
• 16:54
  on
• 16:54
  that
• 16:54
  because
• 16:54
  it
• 16:55
  drives
• 16:55
  me
• 16:55
  crazy
• 16:56
  when
• 16:56
  I'm
• 16:56
  like,
• 16:57
  you
• 16:57
  know,
• 16:57
  when
• 16:57
  somebody
• 16:58
  says,
• 16:58
  I
• 16:58
  just
• 16:58
  got
• 16:58
  diagnosed
• 16:59
  with
• 16:59
  this
• 16:59
  and
• 16:59
  you
• 16:59
  hear
• 17:00
  people
• 17:00
  going,
• 17:00
  you
• 17:00
  have
• 17:01
  to
• 17:01
  do
• 17:01
  this,
• 17:01
  you
• 17:02
  don't
• 17:02
  have
• 17:02
  to
• 17:02
  do
• 17:02
  squats.
• 17:03
  Right,
• 17:03
  right,
• 17:04
  right,
• 17:04
  exactly.
• 17:05
  And
• 17:05
  I
• 17:06
  think
• 17:06
  the
• 17:06
  key
• 17:06
  is
• 17:07
  really
• 17:07
  to
• 17:07
  bring
• 17:08
  genuine
• 17:09
  curiosity
• 17:10
  to,
• 17:11
  to
• 17:11
  the
• 17:11
  situation.
• 17:11
  Like,
• 17:12
  rather
• 17:12
  than
• 17:12
  your
• 17:13
  opinion
• 17:14
  and
• 17:14
  your
• 17:14
  agenda
• 17:15
  about,
• 17:15
  like
• 17:15
  you
• 17:16
  should
• 17:16
  do
• 17:16
  this
• 17:17
  because
• 17:17
  I
• 17:17
  heard
• 17:17
  it
• 17:18
  somewhere.
• 17:18
  I
• 17:19
  think
• 17:19
  it's.
• 17:19
  I
• 17:19
  think
• 17:19
  it's
• 17:20
  much
• 17:20
  better
• 17:20
  to
• 17:20
  say,
• 17:21
  you
• 17:22
  know,
• 17:22
  I'm
• 17:22
  curious
• 17:22
  about
• 17:22
  what
• 17:23
  are
• 17:23
  your
• 17:23
  doctors
• 17:23
  saying?
• 17:24
  You
• 17:24
  know,
• 17:24
  how
• 17:25
  do
• 17:25
  you
• 17:25
  feel
• 17:25
  about
• 17:25
  that?
• 17:26
  You
• 17:26
  know,
• 17:26
  what,
• 17:27
  what
• 17:27
  scares
• 17:28
  you
• 17:28
  about
• 17:28
  it
• 17:28
  or,
• 17:29
  you
• 17:29
  know,
• 17:29
  what
• 17:29
  reassures
• 17:30
  you
• 17:30
  about
• 17:30
  it?
• 17:31
  You
• 17:31
  know,
• 17:31
  I
• 17:31
  mean,
• 17:31
  a
• 17:31
  genuine,
• 17:32
  like
• 17:32
  really
• 17:33
  trying
• 17:33
  to
• 17:33
  figure
• 17:33
  out
• 17:34
  where
• 17:34
  they
• 17:34
  are
• 17:35
  is
• 17:35
  much
• 17:36
  better
• 17:36
  than
• 17:36
  trying
• 17:36
  to
• 17:37
  push
• 17:37
  your
• 17:37
  own
• 17:37
  agenda
• 17:38
  when
• 17:38
  you
• 17:38
  don't.
• 17:39
  Clearly
• 17:39
  you
• 17:39
  don't
• 17:39
  even
• 17:40
  understand
• 17:40
  the
• 17:40
  facts.
• 17:40
  Like
• 17:41
  no
• 17:41
  shoes.
• 17:42
  Yeah,
• 17:42
  no,
• 17:43
  exactly.
• 17:45
  Yeah.
• 17:45
  No,
• 17:45
  I
• 17:45
  was
• 17:45
  just
• 17:45
  kind
• 17:46
  of.
• 17:46
  I
• 17:46
  know
• 17:46
  that
• 17:46
  was
• 17:46
  kind
• 17:46
  of
• 17:46
  off
• 17:47
  topic,
• 17:47
  but
• 17:47
  I
• 17:47
  really
• 17:47
  just
• 17:48
  wanted
• 17:48
  to
• 17:48
  kind
• 17:48
  of
• 17:48
  get
• 17:48
  your
• 17:48
  take
• 17:48
  on
• 17:49
  that
• 17:49
  because
• 17:49
  it's
• 17:50
  one
• 17:50
  of
• 17:50
  those
• 17:50
  things
• 17:50
  that
• 17:51
  just
• 17:51
  gets
• 17:51
  under
• 17:51
  my
• 17:51
  skin
• 17:51
  and
• 17:52
  it's
• 17:52
  with
• 17:52
  everything,
• 17:52
  you
• 17:53
  know,
• 17:53
  it's
• 17:53
  with
• 17:53
  all
• 17:54
  kinds
• 17:54
  of
• 17:54
  heal
• 17:54
  any
• 17:55
  healing
• 17:55
  from
• 17:55
  anything.
• 17:56
  It's
• 17:56
  people,
• 17:57
  you
• 17:57
  just.
• 17:58
  It's
• 17:58
  not
• 17:58
  your
• 17:58
  business,
• 17:58
  like
• 17:59
  you
• 17:59
  said.
• 17:59
  Right.
• 18:00
  It's
• 18:00
  the
• 18:01
  person's
• 18:01
  choice.
• 18:02
  It's.
• 18:03
  Yeah.
• 18:03
  So
• 18:05
  I
• 18:05
  want
• 18:05
  you
• 18:05
  to
• 18:06
  share
• 18:06
  with
• 18:06
  us
• 18:06
  a
• 18:06
  couple.
• 18:07
  I
• 18:08
  know
• 18:08
  you
• 18:08
  said
• 18:08
  you
• 18:08
  used
• 18:09
  humor
• 18:09
  and
• 18:09
  I,
• 18:09
  I
• 18:10
  mean,
• 18:10
  I
• 18:10
  am
• 18:10
  a
• 18:10
  child
• 18:11
  from
• 18:11
  a
• 18:12
  tumultuous
• 18:12
  background
• 18:13
  and
• 18:13
  humor
• 18:13
  was
• 18:14
  my
• 18:14
  thing.
• 18:14
  Like
• 18:15
  that
• 18:15
  was.
• 18:16
  I
• 18:16
  could
• 18:16
  laugh
• 18:16
  at
• 18:17
  some
• 18:17
  of
• 18:17
  the
• 18:17
  things
• 18:17
  that
• 18:17
  people
• 18:17
  like,
• 18:18
  Are
• 18:18
  you
• 18:18
  kidding
• 18:18
  me?
• 18:19
  That's
• 18:19
  not
• 18:19
  funny.
• 18:19
  But
• 18:20
  talk
• 18:21
  about,
• 18:21
  give
• 18:21
  me
• 18:21
  some
• 18:22
  laugh
• 18:22
  out
• 18:22
  loud
• 18:23
  moments.
• 18:23
  I'm
• 18:23
  sure
• 18:23
  you
• 18:24
  had
• 18:24
  them.
• 18:25
  Yeah.
• 18:25
  Oh,
• 18:25
  yeah.
• 18:26
  Well,
• 18:27
  one
• 18:27
  of
• 18:27
  the,
• 18:27
  one
• 18:28
  of
• 18:28
  the
• 18:28
  hardest,
• 18:29
  one
• 18:29
  of
• 18:29
  the
• 18:29
  hardest
• 18:30
  moments
• 18:30
  was
• 18:32
  when
• 18:32
  I
• 18:32
  had
• 18:32
  to
• 18:32
  tell
• 18:32
  my
• 18:33
  youngest,
• 18:34
  you
• 18:34
  know,
• 18:34
  that.
• 18:35
  That
• 18:35
  I
• 18:36
  had
• 18:36
  breast
• 18:36
  cancer.
• 18:37
  And
• 18:37
  it
• 18:37
  was
• 18:38
  absolutely,
• 18:39
  just
• 18:39
  as,
• 18:39
  you
• 18:40
  know,
• 18:40
  15
• 18:40
  year
• 18:40
  old
• 18:41
  in
• 18:41
  tears,
• 18:42
  you
• 18:42
  know,
• 18:43
  none
• 18:43
  of
• 18:43
  it
• 18:43
  was
• 18:44
  fair.
• 18:44
  I
• 18:44
  was
• 18:45
  the
• 18:45
  mom
• 18:45
  and
• 18:45
  suddenly
• 18:46
  sick
• 18:46
  way
• 18:46
  earlier
• 18:47
  than
• 18:47
  I
• 18:47
  should
• 18:47
  have
• 18:47
  been.
• 18:48
  I
• 18:48
  was
• 18:48
  50,
• 18:49
  you
• 18:49
  know,
• 18:49
  it
• 18:50
  just
• 18:51
  horrible.
• 18:52
  Absolutely
• 18:52
  horrible.
• 18:53
  But
• 18:54
  at
• 18:54
  the
• 18:54
  same
• 18:54
  time,
• 18:55
  she
• 18:55
  had
• 18:55
  been
• 18:56
  stressed
• 18:57
  out
• 18:57
  about
• 18:57
  college
• 18:58
  applications.
• 18:58
  She's
• 18:59
  very
• 18:59
  type
• 18:59
  A.
• 19:00
  She'd
• 19:00
  been
• 19:00
  thinking
• 19:00
  about
• 19:01
  college
• 19:01
  since
• 19:01
  she
• 19:01
  was
• 19:02
  12.
• 19:02
  Like
• 19:02
  she
• 19:02
  was
• 19:03
  well,
• 19:03
  well
• 19:03
  ahead
• 19:04
  of
• 19:04
  the
• 19:04
  game,
• 19:05
  you
• 19:05
  know,
• 19:06
  but
• 19:06
  she
• 19:07
  had
• 19:07
  just
• 19:07
  been
• 19:07
  incredibly
• 19:08
  worried
• 19:08
  about
• 19:08
  this.
• 19:09
  And
• 19:09
  then,
• 19:10
  you
• 19:10
  know,
• 19:10
  to
• 19:11
  break
• 19:11
  the
• 19:11
  tension
• 19:12
  and
• 19:12
  break
• 19:12
  the.
• 19:13
  Just
• 19:13
  the
• 19:13
  sadness,
• 19:14
  I
• 19:14
  was
• 19:14
  like,
• 19:14
  well,
• 19:15
  I've
• 19:15
  just
• 19:15
  given
• 19:15
  you
• 19:16
  the
• 19:16
  best
• 19:16
  college
• 19:17
  app,
• 19:18
  you
• 19:18
  know,
• 19:18
  subject
• 19:18
  I
• 19:19
  possibly
• 19:19
  could.
• 19:19
  You're
• 19:19
  welcome.
• 19:21
  You're
• 19:21
  welcome.
• 19:23
  And
• 19:23
  she
• 19:23
  laughed
• 19:24
  even
• 19:24
  through
• 19:24
  her
• 19:24
  tears,
• 19:25
  because
• 19:26
  it
• 19:26
  is
• 19:27
  absurd
• 19:27
  and
• 19:28
  yet
• 19:28
  true.
• 19:29
  Like,
• 19:29
  you
• 19:29
  know,
• 19:30
  I.
• 19:30
  You
• 19:31
  know,
• 19:31
  in.
• 19:31
  In
• 19:32
  the
• 19:32
  book,
• 19:32
  I
• 19:32
  talk
• 19:32
  about
• 19:32
  playing
• 19:33
  the
• 19:33
  cancer
• 19:33
  card.
• 19:34
  And
• 19:34
  you
• 19:34
  100%
• 19:35
  should.
• 19:35
  Like,
• 19:36
  that
• 19:36
  is
• 19:36
  the
• 19:36
  only
• 19:36
  good
• 19:37
  thing
• 19:37
  about
• 19:37
  cancer
• 19:38
  is
• 19:38
  you
• 19:38
  get
• 19:38
  to
• 19:38
  play
• 19:38
  the
• 19:39
  cancer
• 19:39
  card.
• 19:39
  And
• 19:40
  part
• 19:40
  of
• 19:40
  that
• 19:40
  is,
• 19:41
  you
• 19:41
  know,
• 19:41
  writing
• 19:41
  an
• 19:41
  essay
• 19:42
  or,
• 19:43
  you
• 19:43
  know,
• 19:43
  deciding
• 19:44
  you,
• 19:44
  you
• 19:44
  know,
• 19:44
  don't
• 19:45
  want
• 19:45
  to
• 19:45
  go
• 19:45
  see
• 19:45
  your
• 19:46
  obnoxious
• 19:46
  neighbor's
• 19:47
  new
• 19:47
  kitchen.
• 19:48
  You
• 19:48
  know
• 19:48
  what
• 19:48
  I
• 19:48
  mean?
• 19:49
  Right.
• 19:50
  There
• 19:50
  are
• 19:50
  many
• 19:51
  things
• 19:51
  about
• 19:51
  it,
• 19:52
  and
• 19:53
  there
• 19:53
  are
• 19:53
  also
• 19:53
  just
• 19:53
  absurd
• 19:54
  things
• 19:54
  that
• 19:55
  happen,
• 19:55
  like,
• 19:55
  you
• 19:55
  know,
• 19:55
  my
• 19:56
  mri.
• 19:57
  But
• 19:57
  there
• 19:57
  was
• 19:57
  also
• 20:01
  funny
• 20:01
  things
• 20:01
  that.
• 20:02
  On
• 20:02
  my
• 20:03
  first
• 20:03
  trip
• 20:03
  to
• 20:03
  chemotherapy,
• 20:05
  you
• 20:05
  know,
• 20:05
  again,
• 20:05
  I
• 20:06
  thought
• 20:06
  it
• 20:06
  was
• 20:06
  a
• 20:06
  very
• 20:06
  somber
• 20:07
  moment.
• 20:07
  I
• 20:07
  was
• 20:08
  voluntarily
• 20:08
  poisoning
• 20:09
  myself,
• 20:09
  which
• 20:10
  is
• 20:10
  never
• 20:11
  on
• 20:11
  anyone's
• 20:11
  agenda.
• 20:13
  And
• 20:14
  my
• 20:14
  husband
• 20:15
  was
• 20:15
  driving
• 20:15
  me,
• 20:16
  and
• 20:16
  I
• 20:16
  said,
• 20:17
  well,
• 20:17
  I'm
• 20:17
  gonna
• 20:17
  need.
• 20:17
  I'm
• 20:18
  gonna
• 20:18
  need
• 20:18
  a
• 20:18
  pep
• 20:18
  talk.
• 20:19
  I'm
• 20:19
  really
• 20:19
  gonna
• 20:19
  need
• 20:19
  a
• 20:19
  pep
• 20:20
  talk.
• 20:20
  And
• 20:20
  he's
• 20:20
  like,
• 20:20
  okay,
• 20:21
  all
• 20:21
  right.
• 20:21
  Well,
• 20:21
  you
• 20:21
  know.
• 20:21
  Okay.
• 20:22
  And
• 20:22
  I'm
• 20:22
  like,
• 20:23
  okay,
• 20:23
  are
• 20:24
  you
• 20:24
  ready
• 20:24
  to
• 20:24
  give
• 20:24
  me
• 20:24
  a
• 20:24
  pep
• 20:25
  talk?
• 20:25
  And
• 20:25
  he's
• 20:25
  like,
• 20:25
  yes.
• 20:26
  And
• 20:26
  then
• 20:26
  he
• 20:26
  just
• 20:26
  starts
• 20:27
  shouting
• 20:28
  at
• 20:28
  the
• 20:29
  top
• 20:29
  of
• 20:29
  his
• 20:29
  lungs
• 20:29
  like
• 20:30
  a
• 20:30
  little
• 20:30
  league
• 20:30
  coach.
• 20:31
  He's
• 20:31
  like,
• 20:31
  we're
• 20:31
  gonna
• 20:31
  go.
• 20:31
  We're
• 20:32
  gonna
• 20:32
  go.
• 20:32
  Yeah,
• 20:33
  we're
• 20:33
  gonna
• 20:33
  go
• 20:33
  do
• 20:33
  this.
• 20:34
  Yeah,
• 20:34
  let's
• 20:34
  do
• 20:34
  it.
• 20:35
  Let's
• 20:35
  do
• 20:35
  it.
• 20:36
  And
• 20:36
  I
• 20:37
  was
• 20:37
  like.
• 20:37
  I
• 20:38
  just
• 20:38
  started
• 20:38
  laughing
• 20:38
  because
• 20:39
  I'm
• 20:39
  like,
• 20:39
  why
• 20:39
  are
• 20:39
  you
• 20:39
  so
• 20:39
  excited?
• 20:40
  And
• 20:41
  he's
• 20:41
  like,
• 20:41
  well,
• 20:41
  it's
• 20:41
  a
• 20:41
  Peptide,
• 20:42
  and
• 20:42
  he
• 20:43
  is
• 20:43
  a
• 20:43
  little
• 20:43
  league
• 20:44
  soccer
• 20:44
  coach.
• 20:44
  So,
• 20:45
  of
• 20:45
  course,
• 20:47
  you
• 20:47
  know,
• 20:47
  he's
• 20:48
  like,
• 20:48
  this
• 20:48
  is.
• 20:48
  This
• 20:48
  is
• 20:49
  it.
• 20:49
  This
• 20:49
  is
• 20:49
  how
• 20:49
  we
• 20:50
  do
• 20:50
  pep
• 20:50
  talks.
• 20:50
  We
• 20:50
  scream
• 20:51
  and
• 20:51
  we
• 20:51
  yell.
• 20:52
  Yeah,
• 20:52
  we
• 20:52
  scream
• 20:52
  and
• 20:52
  we
• 20:53
  yell,
• 20:53
  and
• 20:53
  we're
• 20:53
  really
• 20:54
  excited,
• 20:54
  you
• 20:55
  know,
• 20:55
  and.
• 20:56
  And
• 20:56
  it
• 20:56
  was
• 20:57
  so
• 20:57
  silly.
• 20:57
  It
• 20:57
  was
• 20:57
  perfect
• 20:58
  because,
• 20:59
  you
• 20:59
  know,
• 20:59
  it
• 20:59
  just
• 20:59
  made
• 21:00
  me
• 21:00
  laugh.
• 21:00
  So,
• 21:02
  you
• 21:02
  know,
• 21:02
  there.
• 21:03
  There
• 21:03
  are
• 21:03
  plenty
• 21:03
  of
• 21:04
  things
• 21:04
  that
• 21:05
  have
• 21:05
  happened.
• 21:05
  I.
• 21:05
  I
• 21:05
  was
• 21:06
  getting
• 21:06
  a
• 21:06
  biopsy,
• 21:07
  and
• 21:07
  they.
• 21:08
  They
• 21:08
  poked
• 21:09
  me
• 21:09
  a
• 21:09
  million
• 21:09
  times
• 21:09
  because
• 21:10
  they
• 21:10
  couldn't
• 21:10
  find
• 21:10
  it,
• 21:11
  and
• 21:11
  it
• 21:12
  was,
• 21:12
  you
• 21:12
  know,
• 21:12
  in
• 21:12
  my.
• 21:13
  In
• 21:13
  my
• 21:13
  armpit,
• 21:13
  and
• 21:14
  I'm
• 21:14
  like,
• 21:14
  you
• 21:14
  know,
• 21:14
  careful.
• 21:15
  I'm
• 21:15
  ticklish.
• 21:16
  And
• 21:16
  then
• 21:16
  they
• 21:16
  laughed.
• 21:18
  Right.
• 21:19
  You
• 21:19
  know,
• 21:20
  which.
• 21:20
  I
• 21:21
  mean,
• 21:21
  it's
• 21:21
  just
• 21:22
  things
• 21:22
  are
• 21:23
  absurd,
• 21:23
  and
• 21:23
  absurd
• 21:24
  things
• 21:24
  happen,
• 21:25
  even
• 21:25
  in,
• 21:26
  you
• 21:26
  know,
• 21:26
  times
• 21:27
  of
• 21:27
  seriousness,
• 21:28
  you
• 21:28
  know,
• 21:28
  and.
• 21:29
  And
• 21:29
  cracking
• 21:30
  that
• 21:30
  joke
• 21:30
  can,
• 21:32
  you
• 21:32
  know,
• 21:32
  just
• 21:32
  diffuse
• 21:33
  the
• 21:33
  tension,
• 21:34
  you
• 21:34
  know,
• 21:34
  it.
• 21:34
  Doesn'T
• 21:35
  break
• 21:35
  all
• 21:35
  doom
• 21:35
  and
• 21:36
  gloom.
• 21:36
  Yeah.
• 21:36
  Yeah.
• 21:37
  It
• 21:37
  just
• 21:37
  breaks
• 21:37
  the.
• 21:38
  The.
• 21:38
  It
• 21:39
  lightens
• 21:39
  up
• 21:39
  the
• 21:40
  moment
• 21:40
  in
• 21:40
  the
• 21:40
  moment,
• 21:41
  you
• 21:41
  know?
• 21:41
  Yes,
• 21:42
  yes.
• 21:42
  Like,
• 21:43
  yes.
• 21:44
  I
• 21:44
  love
• 21:45
  that.
• 21:45
  I.
• 21:45
  I
• 21:46
  can
• 21:46
  just
• 21:46
  think,
• 21:46
  like
• 21:46
  I
• 21:46
  said,
• 21:47
  I
• 21:47
  have
• 21:47
  a
• 21:47
  best
• 21:47
  friend
• 21:47
  that's
• 21:48
  going
• 21:48
  through
• 21:48
  it
• 21:48
  right
• 21:48
  now.
• 21:49
  And
• 21:49
  some
• 21:49
  of
• 21:49
  the
• 21:49
  things
• 21:50
  that.
• 21:50
  I
• 21:50
  don't
• 21:50
  even
• 21:50
  remember
• 21:51
  exact
• 21:51
  situations,
• 21:52
  but
• 21:52
  I
• 21:52
  do.
• 21:52
  Like
• 21:52
  what?
• 21:53
  Some
• 21:53
  of
• 21:53
  the
• 21:53
  things
• 21:54
  we
• 21:54
  would
• 21:54
  laugh
• 21:54
  so
• 21:54
  hard,
• 21:55
  like,
• 21:55
  in
• 21:55
  the
• 21:55
  hospital
• 21:55
  where
• 21:56
  she's
• 21:56
  getting
• 21:56
  her
• 21:56
  treatments
• 21:56
  and
• 21:57
  stuff.
• 21:58
  You
• 21:58
  know,
• 21:58
  the
• 21:58
  things
• 21:58
  that
• 21:59
  you
• 21:59
  come
• 21:59
  up
• 21:59
  with,
• 21:59
  and
• 21:59
  it's
• 22:00
  like.
• 22:00
  Yeah.
• 22:01
  You
• 22:01
  know,
• 22:01
  there's
• 22:01
  nothing.
• 22:01
  I
• 22:02
  can't
• 22:02
  even
• 22:02
  imagine
• 22:02
  anything
• 22:03
  more
• 22:04
  positive
• 22:04
  than
• 22:05
  to
• 22:05
  have
• 22:05
  somebody
• 22:05
  who's
• 22:05
  sitting
• 22:06
  in
• 22:06
  there
• 22:06
  getting
• 22:06
  their
• 22:06
  immunotherapy
• 22:07
  or
• 22:07
  whatever
• 22:07
  and
• 22:08
  getting
• 22:08
  the
• 22:08
  giggles
• 22:09
  and
• 22:09
  not
• 22:09
  being
• 22:09
  able
• 22:09
  to
• 22:09
  stop.
• 22:10
  Yes.
• 22:10
  It's
• 22:11
  like
• 22:11
  a
• 22:11
  beautiful
• 22:11
  moment.
• 22:13
  Exactly.
• 22:14
  Exactly.
• 22:15
  Exactly.
• 22:16
  But
• 22:16
  it's.
• 22:16
  It's
• 22:17
  like
• 22:17
  the
• 22:17
  best
• 22:17
  medicine,
• 22:18
  in
• 22:18
  my
• 22:18
  opinion.
• 22:19
  It
• 22:19
  really
• 22:20
  is.
• 22:20
  It
• 22:20
  really
• 22:20
  is.
• 22:21
  So
• 22:22
  I
• 22:22
  have
• 22:22
  another
• 22:23
  question.
• 22:23
  And
• 22:23
  you
• 22:24
  use
• 22:24
  a
• 22:25
  term,
• 22:28
  screaming
• 22:29
  in.
• 22:29
  Screaming
• 22:30
  into
• 22:30
  the
• 22:30
  void.
• 22:30
  Is
• 22:31
  that
• 22:31
  what
• 22:31
  you
• 22:31
  said?
• 22:31
  Yes.
• 22:32
  Yeah.
• 22:32
  Yeah.
• 22:32
  Okay.
• 22:33
  So
• 22:33
  you
• 22:33
  talk
• 22:33
  about,
• 22:33
  like,
• 22:34
  your
• 22:34
  journey
• 22:34
  as
• 22:35
  being
• 22:35
  kind
• 22:35
  of
• 22:35
  like
• 22:35
  part
• 22:35
  pep
• 22:36
  talk,
• 22:37
  part
• 22:38
  what?
• 22:38
  I
• 22:38
  don't
• 22:38
  remember
• 22:39
  what
• 22:39
  you
• 22:39
  said.
• 22:39
  Honestly,
• 22:39
  I
• 22:39
  don't
• 22:40
  remember.
• 22:40
  But
• 22:40
  then
• 22:40
  screaming
• 22:41
  into
• 22:41
  the
• 22:41
  void
• 22:41
  and.
• 22:42
  Yeah,
• 22:43
  yeah,
• 22:44
  These
• 22:44
  different
• 22:44
  parts.
• 22:45
  Talk
• 22:45
  about
• 22:45
  the
• 22:45
  screaming
• 22:46
  into
• 22:46
  the
• 22:46
  void
• 22:46
  for
• 22:46
  me.
• 22:47
  Yeah.
• 22:47
  Yeah.
• 22:48
  Well,
• 22:48
  because
• 22:48
  there's
• 22:49
  so
• 22:49
  much
• 22:49
  frustration
• 22:51
  around
• 22:52
  cancer.
• 22:54
  Cancer
• 22:55
  doesn't
• 22:55
  get
• 22:55
  to
• 22:55
  decide,
• 22:56
  and
• 22:56
  yet
• 22:57
  there's
• 22:58
  a
• 22:58
  lot
• 22:58
  of
• 22:58
  hurry
• 22:59
  up
• 22:59
  and
• 22:59
  wait.
• 23:00
  There's
• 23:00
  a
• 23:00
  lot
• 23:00
  of
• 23:01
  waiting
• 23:01
  to
• 23:02
  find
• 23:02
  out
• 23:02
  what
• 23:02
  kind
• 23:02
  of
• 23:03
  cancer
• 23:03
  you
• 23:03
  have,
• 23:04
  how
• 23:04
  far
• 23:04
  it's
• 23:05
  progressed,
• 23:06
  what
• 23:06
  are
• 23:06
  the
• 23:06
  treatment
• 23:07
  options,
• 23:08
  and,
• 23:08
  you
• 23:09
  know,
• 23:09
  at
• 23:09
  each.
• 23:09
  You
• 23:10
  want
• 23:10
  to
• 23:10
  know
• 23:10
  now?
• 23:11
  I
• 23:11
  did.
• 23:11
  I
• 23:11
  want
• 23:12
  to
• 23:12
  know
• 23:12
  now.
• 23:12
  I
• 23:12
  want
• 23:12
  to
• 23:13
  get
• 23:13
  it
• 23:13
  cut
• 23:13
  out
• 23:13
  now.
• 23:14
  And
• 23:14
  the
• 23:14
  doctors
• 23:14
  are
• 23:15
  like,
• 23:15
  we
• 23:15
  have
• 23:15
  to,
• 23:15
  you
• 23:16
  know,
• 23:16
  measure
• 23:16
  three
• 23:16
  times,
• 23:17
  cut
• 23:17
  once,
• 23:18
  you
• 23:18
  know?
• 23:19
  Right.
• 23:19
  I
• 23:19
  was
• 23:19
  like,
• 23:19
  it
• 23:19
  feels
• 23:20
  like
• 23:20
  measure
• 23:20
  500
• 23:21
  times,
• 23:21
  but
• 23:21
  okay,
• 23:22
  you
• 23:22
  know,
• 23:24
  So
• 23:25
  I
• 23:25
  think
• 23:25
  there's
• 23:26
  just
• 23:26
  this
• 23:26
  innate
• 23:27
  frustration.
• 23:28
  There's.
• 23:29
  There's
• 23:29
  a
• 23:29
  lot
• 23:29
  of
• 23:29
  feeling
• 23:30
  like.
• 23:30
  There's
• 23:31
  a
• 23:31
  lot
• 23:31
  of
• 23:31
  feeling
• 23:31
  like,
• 23:32
  why
• 23:32
  me?
• 23:33
  Why.
• 23:35
  You
• 23:36
  know,
• 23:37
  what
• 23:37
  did
• 23:37
  I
• 23:37
  do
• 23:38
  wrong?
• 23:38
  You
• 23:39
  know,
• 23:40
  and
• 23:40
  so
• 23:40
  there's.
• 23:40
  That
• 23:41
  just
• 23:41
  leads
• 23:41
  into
• 23:41
  this
• 23:42
  feeling
• 23:43
  like
• 23:43
  I'm
• 23:43
  just
• 23:43
  screaming.
• 23:44
  Yeah.
• 23:44
  You
• 23:44
  know,
• 23:45
  and
• 23:45
  everyone
• 23:45
  else,
• 23:46
  by
• 23:46
  the
• 23:46
  way,
• 23:46
  is
• 23:47
  just
• 23:47
  living
• 23:47
  their
• 23:47
  normal
• 23:47
  lives.
• 23:48
  You
• 23:48
  know,
• 23:48
  You're.
• 23:50
  I
• 23:50
  felt
• 23:50
  like
• 23:50
  my
• 23:50
  life
• 23:50
  was
• 23:51
  turned
• 23:51
  upside
• 23:51
  down
• 23:51
  and.
• 23:52
  And
• 23:53
  everyone
• 23:53
  else
• 23:53
  is
• 23:54
  just
• 23:54
  fine,
• 23:54
  you
• 23:54
  know,
• 23:54
  which
• 23:55
  is.
• 23:55
  Which
• 23:55
  is
• 23:55
  what
• 23:55
  happens
• 23:56
  when
• 23:56
  you're
• 23:56
  going
• 23:56
  through
• 23:56
  something,
• 23:57
  you
• 23:57
  know,
• 23:57
  traumatic
• 23:57
  and
• 23:58
  stressful
• 23:59
  and
• 23:59
  you're
• 24:00
  dealing
• 24:00
  with
• 24:00
  whatever
• 24:00
  you're
• 24:00
  dealing
• 24:01
  with.
• 24:01
  And.
• 24:01
  And
• 24:02
  it's
• 24:02
  not
• 24:02
  fair
• 24:02
  because
• 24:03
  everyone
• 24:03
  has
• 24:03
  Their
• 24:03
  stresses.
• 24:04
  And
• 24:04
  everyone
• 24:05
  has
• 24:05
  their
• 24:05
  front,
• 24:05
  the
• 24:06
  face
• 24:06
  they
• 24:06
  put
• 24:06
  on.
• 24:07
  And
• 24:07
  you
• 24:07
  don't
• 24:07
  really
• 24:07
  know
• 24:08
  what's
• 24:08
  going
• 24:08
  on
• 24:08
  at
• 24:08
  home.
• 24:08
  It
• 24:09
  could
• 24:09
  be
• 24:09
  as
• 24:09
  stressful
• 24:10
  as
• 24:10
  is
• 24:10
  cancer.
• 24:11
  There
• 24:11
  could
• 24:11
  be
• 24:11
  something
• 24:11
  even
• 24:12
  worse
• 24:12
  happening
• 24:12
  in
• 24:12
  their
• 24:13
  home.
• 24:13
  You
• 24:13
  don't
• 24:13
  know,
• 24:14
  but
• 24:15
  it
• 24:15
  feels
• 24:15
  like
• 24:15
  you're
• 24:16
  alone.
• 24:16
  It
• 24:16
  feels
• 24:17
  like
• 24:17
  you're
• 24:17
  frustrated
• 24:18
  and
• 24:18
  angry.
• 24:19
  And
• 24:19
  that's
• 24:19
  where
• 24:20
  the
• 24:20
  screaming
• 24:20
  into
• 24:20
  the
• 24:21
  void.
• 24:21
  Like
• 24:21
  what?
• 24:22
  You
• 24:22
  know,
• 24:22
  just
• 24:23
  that
• 24:23
  frustration
• 24:24
  of,
• 24:25
  you
• 24:25
  know,
• 24:26
  what's
• 24:26
  going
• 24:27
  on,
• 24:27
  why,
• 24:27
  you
• 24:28
  know,
• 24:28
  why
• 24:28
  me?
• 24:29
  And
• 24:29
  I
• 24:30
  feel
• 24:30
  like
• 24:31
  this
• 24:31
  book
• 24:31
  will
• 24:32
  help
• 24:32
  people
• 24:32
  feel
• 24:33
  seen
• 24:33
  in
• 24:33
  that.
• 24:34
  That
• 24:34
  you're
• 24:34
  not
• 24:34
  alone.
• 24:35
  You
• 24:35
  know,
• 24:35
  there
• 24:36
  are
• 24:36
  a
• 24:36
  lot
• 24:36
  of
• 24:36
  people
• 24:36
  screaming
• 24:38
  and
• 24:38
  there.
• 24:39
  And.
• 24:40
  And
• 24:40
  I
• 24:41
  think,
• 24:41
  you
• 24:42
  know,
• 24:42
  just
• 24:42
  the
• 24:42
  first
• 24:42
  step
• 24:43
  is,
• 24:45
  for
• 24:45
  me
• 24:45
  at
• 24:45
  least,
• 24:46
  was
• 24:46
  moving
• 24:47
  from
• 24:47
  why
• 24:47
  me
• 24:48
  to
• 24:48
  why
• 24:48
  not
• 24:49
  me?
• 24:49
  You
• 24:49
  know,
• 24:50
  I
• 24:50
  mean,
• 24:50
  cancer
• 24:51
  just
• 24:51
  strikes
• 24:51
  randomly,
• 24:52
  anyone
• 24:53
  at
• 24:53
  any
• 24:53
  time.
• 24:53
  It
• 24:54
  wasn't
• 24:54
  anything
• 24:54
  I
• 24:55
  did.
• 24:55
  I
• 24:55
  didn't
• 24:56
  press
• 24:56
  for
• 24:56
  it.
• 24:57
  You
• 24:57
  know,
• 24:58
  I
• 24:59
  didn't
• 24:59
  have
• 25:00
  risky
• 25:00
  behavior
• 25:01
  that
• 25:01
  I
• 25:01
  knew
• 25:01
  of.
• 25:01
  It
• 25:02
  didn't.
• 25:02
  In
• 25:02
  my
• 25:02
  family.
• 25:03
  There
• 25:03
  was,
• 25:03
  you
• 25:03
  know,
• 25:04
  there
• 25:04
  was
• 25:04
  nothing
• 25:04
  else
• 25:05
  I
• 25:05
  could
• 25:05
  have
• 25:05
  done
• 25:06
  to
• 25:06
  prevent
• 25:06
  it.
• 25:07
  It
• 25:07
  just
• 25:07
  happened.
• 25:08
  And
• 25:08
  so
• 25:08
  then
• 25:08
  I
• 25:09
  had
• 25:09
  to.
• 25:09
  Once
• 25:10
  I.
• 25:10
  Once
• 25:10
  I
• 25:10
  got
• 25:10
  there,
• 25:11
  then
• 25:11
  it
• 25:11
  was
• 25:12
  less
• 25:12
  screaming
• 25:12
  into
• 25:12
  the
• 25:13
  void
• 25:13
  and
• 25:13
  more,
• 25:14
  you
• 25:15
  know,
• 25:15
  what
• 25:15
  can
• 25:15
  I
• 25:15
  do
• 25:15
  now?
• 25:16
  How
• 25:16
  can
• 25:16
  I.
• 25:16
  How
• 25:17
  can
• 25:17
  I
• 25:17
  start
• 25:17
  fighting
• 25:18
  this?
• 25:18
  Yeah.
• 25:18
  Instead
• 25:19
  of
• 25:19
  looking
• 25:19
  for
• 25:19
  these
• 25:20
  philosophical,
• 25:20
  unanswerable
• 25:22
  question
• 25:22
  answers,
• 25:23
  questions
• 25:24
  you
• 25:24
  just
• 25:25
  accept.
• 25:26
  And
• 25:26
  that's
• 25:27
  a
• 25:27
  big
• 25:27
  state.
• 25:28
  Part
• 25:28
  of
• 25:28
  it.
• 25:28
  But
• 25:28
  yes.
• 25:29
  I
• 25:29
  mean,
• 25:29
  that's
• 25:29
  another
• 25:29
  very
• 25:30
  profound
• 25:30
  statement
• 25:31
  that
• 25:31
  I've
• 25:31
  heard
• 25:31
  people
• 25:31
  say
• 25:32
  before,
• 25:32
  is
• 25:33
  you
• 25:33
  stop
• 25:33
  looking
• 25:33
  at
• 25:33
  it
• 25:34
  at
• 25:34
  why
• 25:34
  me?
• 25:34
  And
• 25:34
  just
• 25:35
  why
• 25:35
  not
• 25:35
  me?
• 25:36
  It's
• 25:37
  a
• 25:37
  thing.
• 25:37
  It
• 25:37
  just
• 25:38
  happens.
• 25:38
  So
• 25:38
  let's.
• 25:39
  It's
• 25:39
  here.
• 25:40
  It's
• 25:40
  got
• 25:40
  to
• 25:41
  be
• 25:41
  dealt
• 25:41
  with.
• 25:41
  So,
• 25:42
  yeah,
• 25:43
  let's
• 25:43
  deal
• 25:44
  with
• 25:44
  it
• 25:44
  now
• 25:44
  on
• 25:45
  your
• 25:45
  book.
• 25:45
  I'm
• 25:45
  excited
• 25:46
  to
• 25:46
  actually
• 25:46
  get
• 25:46
  your
• 25:47
  book.
• 25:47
  It's
• 25:47
  already
• 25:47
  out,
• 25:47
  right?
• 25:48
  Yes,
• 25:48
  yes.
• 25:49
  Okay.
• 25:49
  Just
• 25:49
  came
• 25:50
  out
• 25:50
  this
• 25:50
  month.
• 25:50
  Just
• 25:51
  came
• 25:51
  out
• 25:51
  in
• 25:51
  October.
• 25:52
  Yep.
• 25:52
  Okay.
• 25:53
  So
• 25:53
  I'm
• 25:53
  excited
• 25:54
  to
• 25:54
  get
• 25:54
  it
• 25:54
  because
• 25:54
  you
• 25:54
  said
• 25:55
  it
• 25:55
  was
• 25:55
  kind
• 25:55
  of
• 25:55
  broken
• 25:55
  up
• 25:56
  into
• 25:56
  like,
• 25:56
  pep
• 25:56
  talk.
• 25:58
  Your
• 25:58
  memoirs.
• 25:59
  And
• 25:59
  then
• 25:59
  the
• 26:00
  screaming
• 26:00
  into
• 26:00
  the
• 26:00
  void
• 26:01
  part,
• 26:02
  which
• 26:02
  was
• 26:02
  the
• 26:03
  most
• 26:03
  fun
• 26:03
  or
• 26:03
  the
• 26:04
  most
• 26:04
  difficult
• 26:04
  part
• 26:04
  for
• 26:05
  you
• 26:05
  to
• 26:05
  write.
• 26:06
  Yeah,
• 26:06
  you
• 26:06
  know,
• 26:09
  they
• 26:10
  all
• 26:10
  had
• 26:10
  interesting,
• 26:11
  interesting
• 26:11
  aspects.
• 26:12
  I
• 26:12
  really,
• 26:14
  you
• 26:14
  know,
• 26:15
  I
• 26:15
  journaled
• 26:16
  while
• 26:16
  I
• 26:17
  was
• 26:17
  going
• 26:17
  through
• 26:17
  cancer,
• 26:18
  so
• 26:19
  I
• 26:19
  had
• 26:19
  a
• 26:19
  lot
• 26:19
  of
• 26:20
  the
• 26:20
  memories
• 26:20
  fresh,
• 26:21
  you
• 26:21
  know,
• 26:21
  in
• 26:21
  my
• 26:21
  journal
• 26:22
  to
• 26:22
  talk
• 26:22
  about
• 26:22
  the
• 26:22
  memoir
• 26:23
  part
• 26:23
  of,
• 26:23
  like,
• 26:24
  how
• 26:24
  it
• 26:24
  worked
• 26:25
  for
• 26:25
  me.
• 26:26
  And
• 26:26
  of
• 26:26
  course,
• 26:27
  everyone's
• 26:27
  journey
• 26:27
  is
• 26:27
  different
• 26:28
  and
• 26:28
  everyone
• 26:28
  has
• 26:29
  a
• 26:29
  different,
• 26:29
  you
• 26:29
  know,
• 26:31
  set
• 26:31
  of
• 26:31
  steps
• 26:31
  that
• 26:32
  they
• 26:32
  go
• 26:32
  through
• 26:32
  and
• 26:33
  doctors
• 26:34
  visits
• 26:34
  and
• 26:34
  that
• 26:34
  sort
• 26:34
  of
• 26:35
  thing,
• 26:35
  and
• 26:36
  different
• 26:36
  kinds
• 26:36
  of
• 26:36
  cancer.
• 26:37
  But
• 26:38
  it
• 26:38
  was
• 26:38
  helpful
• 26:39
  to
• 26:39
  me
• 26:39
  to
• 26:39
  talk
• 26:39
  about
• 26:40
  my
• 26:40
  experience.
• 26:40
  It
• 26:41
  just
• 26:41
  was
• 26:41
  kind
• 26:41
  of
• 26:41
  grounding.
• 26:43
  The
• 26:43
  pep
• 26:43
  talks
• 26:44
  were.
• 26:44
  I
• 26:44
  really
• 26:45
  enjoy
• 26:45
  writing
• 26:45
  the
• 26:45
  pep.
• 26:46
  Each
• 26:46
  chapter
• 26:46
  ends
• 26:47
  in
• 26:47
  a
• 26:47
  pep
• 26:47
  talk
• 26:47
  because
• 26:48
  I
• 26:48
  feel
• 26:48
  that
• 26:48
  we
• 26:48
  all
• 26:49
  need
• 26:49
  one
• 26:50
  regard.
• 26:51
  Whether
• 26:51
  or
• 26:51
  not
• 26:52
  you're
• 26:52
  dealing
• 26:52
  with
• 26:53
  cancer,
• 26:53
  you
• 26:53
  know,
• 26:53
  someone
• 26:54
  who
• 26:54
  is,
• 26:54
  or
• 26:54
  you're
• 26:55
  simply
• 26:55
  going
• 26:55
  through
• 26:55
  a
• 26:55
  difficult
• 26:56
  time.
• 26:56
  Like,
• 26:56
  it's.
• 26:57
  You
• 26:58
  know.
• 26:58
  During
• 26:59
  the
• 26:59
  research
• 26:59
  for
• 27:00
  this
• 27:00
  book,
• 27:00
  I
• 27:00
  found
• 27:00
  out
• 27:01
  that
• 27:02
  Navy
• 27:02
  SEALs
• 27:02
  give
• 27:03
  themselves
• 27:03
  pep
• 27:03
  talks
• 27:04
  before
• 27:04
  missions.
• 27:05
  And
• 27:06
  it
• 27:06
  was
• 27:06
  so
• 27:06
  profound
• 27:07
  to
• 27:07
  me
• 27:07
  because
• 27:07
  I
• 27:07
  thought,
• 27:08
  why
• 27:08
  do
• 27:08
  they
• 27:08
  need
• 27:08
  a
• 27:08
  pep
• 27:09
  talk?
• 27:09
  They're
• 27:09
  so
• 27:09
  tough
• 27:10
  and,
• 27:10
  like,
• 27:10
  you
• 27:10
  know,
• 27:11
  like.
• 27:12
  And
• 27:12
  brave
• 27:13
  already.
• 27:13
  And
• 27:13
  then
• 27:13
  I
• 27:14
  was
• 27:14
  like,
• 27:14
  well,
• 27:14
  if
• 27:14
  they
• 27:14
  need
• 27:14
  a
• 27:14
  pep
• 27:15
  talk,
• 27:15
  then
• 27:15
  the
• 27:16
  rest
• 27:16
  of
• 27:16
  us
• 27:16
  do
• 27:16
  too.
• 27:17
  So,
• 27:18
  you
• 27:18
  know,
• 27:19
  I
• 27:20
  thought
• 27:21
  writing
• 27:21
  the
• 27:21
  pep
• 27:22
  talks
• 27:22
  at
• 27:22
  the
• 27:22
  end
• 27:22
  of
• 27:22
  each
• 27:22
  chapter
• 27:23
  was
• 27:23
  just
• 27:24
  some
• 27:24
  tangible
• 27:24
  way
• 27:24
  that
• 27:25
  people
• 27:25
  could
• 27:25
  take
• 27:25
  away,
• 27:26
  you
• 27:27
  know,
• 27:27
  a
• 27:27
  bit
• 27:27
  of
• 27:27
  encouragement,
• 27:28
  you
• 27:28
  know,
• 27:29
  something
• 27:29
  to
• 27:29
  maybe
• 27:30
  get
• 27:30
  them
• 27:30
  through
• 27:31
  the
• 27:32
  next
• 27:32
  difficult
• 27:32
  doctor's
• 27:33
  appointment
• 27:33
  or,
• 27:34
  you
• 27:34
  know,
• 27:35
  whatever
• 27:36
  was
• 27:36
  next
• 27:36
  on
• 27:36
  that
• 27:37
  road.
• 27:37
  Because
• 27:37
  it's,
• 27:39
  you
• 27:39
  know,
• 27:39
  I
• 27:39
  think.
• 27:40
  I
• 27:40
  think
• 27:40
  we
• 27:40
  all
• 27:40
  need
• 27:40
  a
• 27:40
  little
• 27:41
  encouragement,
• 27:41
  but
• 27:42
  it's
• 27:42
  a
• 27:42
  difficult
• 27:43
  journey,
• 27:43
  no
• 27:43
  matter
• 27:43
  what
• 27:44
  we're
• 27:44
  on,
• 27:44
  so
• 27:44
  we
• 27:45
  can
• 27:45
  all
• 27:45
  use
• 27:45
  a
• 27:45
  little
• 27:46
  more
• 27:46
  pep
• 27:46
  talks,
• 27:47
  I
• 27:47
  think.
• 27:47
  Yeah,
• 27:48
  I
• 27:48
  agree.
• 27:48
  And
• 27:49
  it's
• 27:49
  funny,
• 27:49
  the
• 27:49
  Navy
• 27:50
  SEALs,
• 27:50
  like,
• 27:50
  we
• 27:51
  compare
• 27:51
  so
• 27:51
  many
• 27:51
  things
• 27:52
  to
• 27:52
  the
• 27:52
  Navy
• 27:52
  SEALs,
• 27:52
  because
• 27:53
  like
• 27:53
  you
• 27:53
  said,
• 27:54
  it's
• 27:54
  true.
• 27:54
  We
• 27:54
  think
• 27:55
  they're
• 27:55
  these
• 27:55
  big,
• 27:55
  tough
• 27:55
  people.
• 27:56
  They
• 27:56
  don't
• 27:56
  need
• 27:56
  anything,
• 27:57
  but,
• 27:57
  boy,
• 27:57
  they
• 27:57
  need
• 27:58
  pep
• 27:58
  talks.
• 27:58
  They
• 27:59
  need
• 27:59
  that
• 27:59
  visualization.
• 28:00
  They
• 28:00
  need
• 28:01
  that
• 28:01
  positive
• 28:01
  mindset
• 28:02
  work.
• 28:02
  They
• 28:02
  need
• 28:03
  it
• 28:03
  all.
• 28:03
  Because
• 28:04
  it's
• 28:04
  grueling
• 28:05
  what
• 28:05
  they
• 28:05
  do,
• 28:06
  and
• 28:06
  struggling
• 28:07
  with
• 28:07
  a
• 28:07
  disease
• 28:08
  is
• 28:08
  grueling.
• 28:09
  I
• 28:09
  mean,
• 28:09
  flat
• 28:10
  out,
• 28:10
  it's
• 28:10
  hard.
• 28:11
  Yeah.
• 28:12
  And.
• 28:12
  And.
• 28:12
  And
• 28:12
  for
• 28:13
  me,
• 28:13
  I
• 28:13
  think
• 28:14
  a
• 28:14
  part
• 28:14
  of
• 28:14
  that
• 28:14
  journey
• 28:15
  was
• 28:15
  understanding.
• 28:17
  I
• 28:17
  just
• 28:17
  had
• 28:17
  a
• 28:17
  lot
• 28:17
  of
• 28:18
  negative
• 28:18
  self
• 28:18
  talk
• 28:19
  that
• 28:19
  I
• 28:19
  had
• 28:19
  to
• 28:19
  unwind,
• 28:21
  you
• 28:21
  know,
• 28:22
  for
• 28:22
  me
• 28:22
  to
• 28:22
  even
• 28:23
  believe
• 28:23
  the
• 28:23
  pep
• 28:23
  talk.
• 28:24
  You
• 28:24
  know,
• 28:25
  there
• 28:25
  was.
• 28:25
  There
• 28:25
  was
• 28:25
  a
• 28:26
  lot
• 28:26
  of
• 28:26
  negativity
• 28:27
  just
• 28:27
  running
• 28:28
  like
• 28:28
  a
• 28:28
  playlist
• 28:29
  in.
• 28:29
  In
• 28:29
  my
• 28:30
  mind
• 28:30
  set
• 28:30
  there
• 28:30
  from
• 28:31
  childhood,
• 28:31
  you
• 28:31
  know.
• 28:32
  Yeah.
• 28:33
  And
• 28:33
  I
• 28:33
  had
• 28:33
  to
• 28:34
  unwind
• 28:34
  that
• 28:35
  consciously
• 28:36
  in
• 28:36
  a
• 28:36
  way
• 28:36
  that
• 28:36
  I.
• 28:37
  I
• 28:37
  never
• 28:37
  had
• 28:37
  as
• 28:38
  an
• 28:38
  adult
• 28:39
  in
• 28:39
  order
• 28:39
  to
• 28:39
  really
• 28:41
  find
• 28:42
  the
• 28:42
  strength,
• 28:42
  you
• 28:43
  know,
• 28:43
  to
• 28:43
  believe
• 28:44
  that
• 28:44
  I
• 28:44
  could
• 28:44
  get
• 28:44
  through
• 28:44
  it,
• 28:45
  that.
• 28:45
  That
• 28:45
  the
• 28:46
  treatments
• 28:46
  would
• 28:46
  work.
• 28:47
  That's
• 28:48
  true.
• 28:48
  And
• 28:48
  talk
• 28:49
  a
• 28:49
  little.
• 28:49
  Can
• 28:50
  you
• 28:50
  go
• 28:50
  a
• 28:50
  little
• 28:50
  deeper
• 28:51
  into
• 28:51
  that
• 28:51
  with
• 28:51
  the
• 28:51
  negative
• 28:52
  self
• 28:52
  talk?
• 28:52
  Because,
• 28:53
  like,
• 28:53
  when
• 28:53
  you're
• 28:53
  going
• 28:53
  through
• 28:54
  something
• 28:54
  like
• 28:54
  this,
• 28:54
  because
• 28:54
  we
• 28:55
  talk
• 28:55
  all
• 28:55
  the
• 28:55
  time
• 28:55
  on
• 28:55
  this
• 28:55
  podcast
• 28:56
  about
• 28:56
  the
• 28:56
  negative
• 28:57
  self
• 28:57
  talk
• 28:57
  and
• 28:58
  that.
• 28:58
  Yeah.
• 28:58
  What
• 28:58
  are
• 28:59
  some
• 28:59
  examples
• 28:59
  of
• 28:59
  things
• 29:00
  that
• 29:00
  you
• 29:00
  would
• 29:00
  say
• 29:00
  to
• 29:00
  yourself?
• 29:01
  And
• 29:01
  then
• 29:01
  how
• 29:01
  would
• 29:02
  you
• 29:02
  kind
• 29:02
  of
• 29:02
  combat
• 29:03
  that
• 29:03
  or
• 29:04
  answer
• 29:04
  yourself
• 29:05
  back
• 29:05
  it,
• 29:05
  for
• 29:06
  lack
• 29:06
  of
• 29:06
  a
• 29:06
  better
• 29:07
  term.
• 29:07
  Yeah,
• 29:08
  yeah.
• 29:08
  So,
• 29:09
  you
• 29:09
  know,
• 29:09
  I
• 29:09
  realized.
• 29:10
  I
• 29:10
  think
• 29:11
  I
• 29:11
  already
• 29:11
  knew,
• 29:11
  you
• 29:12
  know,
• 29:12
  I
• 29:12
  had
• 29:12
  a
• 29:12
  lot
• 29:12
  of
• 29:12
  imposter
• 29:13
  syndrome.
• 29:13
  I
• 29:13
  mean,
• 29:14
  I've.
• 29:14
  I've
• 29:14
  written
• 29:14
  more
• 29:15
  than
• 29:15
  35
• 29:15
  books,
• 29:16
  two
• 29:16
  of
• 29:16
  them
• 29:16
  on
• 29:16
  the
• 29:16
  USA
• 29:17
  Today
• 29:17
  bestseller
• 29:18
  list.
• 29:18
  Two
• 29:19
  are
• 29:19
  movies.
• 29:19
  You
• 29:20
  know,
• 29:20
  one's
• 29:20
  Lifetime
• 29:21
  movie,
• 29:21
  one's
• 29:21
  a
• 29:21
  Hallmark
• 29:22
  movie.
• 29:23
  You
• 29:23
  know,
• 29:23
  I
• 29:24
  just.
• 29:26
  But
• 29:26
  at
• 29:27
  each
• 29:27
  stage,
• 29:28
  there
• 29:28
  was
• 29:28
  always
• 29:29
  for
• 29:29
  me
• 29:29
  something
• 29:30
  that,
• 29:31
  you
• 29:31
  know,
• 29:32
  I
• 29:32
  would
• 29:32
  tell
• 29:32
  myself,
• 29:32
  oh,
• 29:33
  well,
• 29:33
  you
• 29:33
  know,
• 29:34
  congrats
• 29:34
  for
• 29:34
  being
• 29:35
  on
• 29:35
  the
• 29:35
  USA
• 29:35
  Today
• 29:35
  bestseller
• 29:36
  list.
• 29:36
  I
• 29:36
  mean,
• 29:36
  it's
• 29:37
  not
• 29:37
  the
• 29:37
  New
• 29:37
  York
• 29:37
  Times,
• 29:38
  but
• 29:38
  you
• 29:38
  got
• 29:38
  to
• 29:38
  start
• 29:39
  somewhere.
• 29:39
  You
• 29:39
  know,
• 29:39
  there
• 29:40
  was
• 29:40
  always
• 29:40
  like
• 29:40
  this,
• 29:41
  like,
• 29:42
  passive
• 29:42
  aggressive
• 29:43
  negativity
• 29:44
  to
• 29:44
  everything,
• 29:45
  or
• 29:45
  like,
• 29:46
  congrats
• 29:46
  on
• 29:46
  the
• 29:46
  new
• 29:47
  book
• 29:47
  deal,
• 29:47
  but,
• 29:47
  you
• 29:48
  know,
• 29:48
  it's
• 29:48
  only
• 29:49
  for
• 29:49
  two
• 29:49
  books.
• 29:49
  So
• 29:49
  what
• 29:50
  are
• 29:50
  you
• 29:50
  going
• 29:50
  to
• 29:50
  do
• 29:50
  after
• 29:50
  that?
• 29:50
  Or,
• 29:51
  like,
• 29:51
  you
• 29:51
  know,
• 29:52
  no
• 29:52
  one's
• 29:52
  going
• 29:52
  to
• 29:52
  want
• 29:53
  to
• 29:53
  read
• 29:53
  your
• 29:53
  next
• 29:53
  one.
• 29:53
  Everyone
• 29:54
  read
• 29:54
  this
• 29:54
  one,
• 29:54
  but
• 29:54
  no
• 29:54
  one's
• 29:55
  going
• 29:55
  to
• 29:55
  read
• 29:55
  the
• 29:55
  next
• 29:55
  one.
• 29:55
  Like,
• 29:56
  there's,
• 29:56
  There's.
• 29:56
  There
• 29:57
  was
• 29:57
  this
• 29:57
  horrible
• 29:58
  meanness
• 29:59
  in
• 29:59
  this
• 29:59
  self
• 30:00
  talk
• 30:01
  that,
• 30:01
  that
• 30:01
  I.
• 30:02
  That
• 30:02
  was
• 30:02
  going
• 30:02
  on
• 30:02
  in
• 30:02
  my
• 30:03
  brain.
• 30:03
  And
• 30:03
  I
• 30:03
  think
• 30:04
  I
• 30:04
  didn't
• 30:05
  really
• 30:05
  understand
• 30:06
  how
• 30:07
  damaging
• 30:07
  it
• 30:08
  was
• 30:08
  until
• 30:10
  I
• 30:10
  was.
• 30:11
  I
• 30:11
  was
• 30:12
  going
• 30:12
  to
• 30:13
  get
• 30:13
  my
• 30:13
  double
• 30:13
  mastectomy.
• 30:14
  And
• 30:14
  this
• 30:14
  was
• 30:15
  just
• 30:15
  terrifying
• 30:15
  to
• 30:16
  me
• 30:16
  because
• 30:16
  I.
• 30:16
  I
• 30:16
  just
• 30:17
  don't
• 30:17
  like
• 30:18
  the
• 30:18
  idea
• 30:18
  of
• 30:18
  being
• 30:18
  cut
• 30:19
  on
• 30:19
  and
• 30:19
  the
• 30:20
  idea
• 30:20
  of
• 30:20
  losing
• 30:21
  part
• 30:21
  of
• 30:21
  me.
• 30:21
  It
• 30:21
  was
• 30:22
  very
• 30:22
  complicated.
• 30:24
  I
• 30:25
  spent
• 30:25
  a
• 30:25
  lot
• 30:25
  of
• 30:25
  time,
• 30:26
  you
• 30:26
  know,
• 30:26
  crying
• 30:26
  on
• 30:27
  my
• 30:27
  counselor's
• 30:27
  couch
• 30:28
  about
• 30:28
  it,
• 30:28
  you
• 30:29
  know,
• 30:29
  before
• 30:29
  I
• 30:29
  made
• 30:29
  peace
• 30:30
  with
• 30:30
  it.
• 30:30
  And
• 30:30
  then,
• 30:31
  you
• 30:31
  know,
• 30:31
  once
• 30:31
  I
• 30:31
  made
• 30:31
  peace
• 30:32
  with
• 30:32
  it,
• 30:32
  I
• 30:32
  was
• 30:32
  like,
• 30:32
  okay,
• 30:33
  I'm
• 30:33
  gonna,
• 30:33
  you
• 30:33
  know,
• 30:34
  exercise.
• 30:34
  I'm
• 30:35
  going
• 30:35
  to
• 30:35
  try
• 30:35
  to
• 30:35
  eat
• 30:36
  right.
• 30:36
  I'm
• 30:36
  going
• 30:36
  to,
• 30:36
  you
• 30:37
  know,
• 30:37
  try
• 30:37
  to
• 30:37
  get
• 30:38
  in
• 30:38
  the
• 30:39
  best
• 30:39
  shape
• 30:39
  I
• 30:39
  can
• 30:40
  be
• 30:40
  mentally
• 30:40
  and
• 30:40
  physically
• 30:41
  for
• 30:41
  the
• 30:41
  surgery
• 30:42
  because
• 30:42
  I
• 30:42
  had
• 30:42
  about
• 30:42
  six
• 30:42
  weeks.
• 30:43
  So,
• 30:43
  you
• 30:44
  know,
• 30:44
  I
• 30:44
  started,
• 30:44
  you
• 30:44
  know,
• 30:45
  doing
• 30:45
  those
• 30:45
  things.
• 30:47
  And
• 30:47
  then
• 30:47
  after
• 30:48
  the
• 30:48
  surgery,
• 30:49
  things
• 30:50
  went
• 30:50
  well.
• 30:50
  Like,
• 30:51
  I
• 30:51
  was.
• 30:51
  I
• 30:51
  was
• 30:51
  irrationally
• 30:52
  worried
• 30:52
  about,
• 30:53
  like,
• 30:53
  running,
• 30:53
  screaming
• 30:54
  from
• 30:54
  the
• 30:54
  hospital,
• 30:56
  booking
• 30:56
  a
• 30:57
  flight
• 30:57
  to
• 30:57
  Australia,
• 30:58
  just
• 30:58
  not
• 30:58
  showing
• 30:58
  up.
• 30:59
  You
• 30:59
  know,
• 30:59
  I
• 30:59
  mean,
• 31:00
  there
• 31:00
  were.
• 31:00
  There
• 31:01
  were
• 31:01
  plenty
• 31:01
  of,
• 31:01
  like,
• 31:02
  real
• 31:02
  anxieties
• 31:03
  about,
• 31:03
  like,
• 31:03
  can
• 31:04
  I
• 31:04
  even
• 31:04
  go
• 31:04
  through.
• 31:04
  Through
• 31:04
  with
• 31:05
  this?
• 31:05
  And
• 31:05
  then
• 31:05
  I
• 31:05
  did.
• 31:06
  And
• 31:06
  then
• 31:06
  I
• 31:06
  did
• 31:06
  well,
• 31:07
  and
• 31:08
  I
• 31:08
  recovered
• 31:08
  well.
• 31:10
  And
• 31:10
  I
• 31:10
  told
• 31:11
  myself,
• 31:11
  like,
• 31:11
  I
• 31:11
  gave
• 31:12
  myself
• 31:12
  a
• 31:12
  genuine
• 31:13
  compliment.
• 31:13
  Like,
• 31:14
  you
• 31:14
  put
• 31:14
  in
• 31:14
  a
• 31:14
  lot
• 31:14
  of
• 31:15
  hard
• 31:15
  work,
• 31:15
  you
• 31:16
  know,
• 31:16
  and
• 31:16
  you
• 31:17
  mentally,
• 31:17
  you
• 31:18
  know,
• 31:18
  you
• 31:18
  went
• 31:18
  to
• 31:18
  the
• 31:18
  counselor,
• 31:19
  you
• 31:19
  dealt
• 31:19
  with
• 31:19
  your
• 31:20
  fear.
• 31:20
  That
• 31:20
  was
• 31:20
  hard.
• 31:21
  You
• 31:22
  know,
• 31:22
  physically.
• 31:23
  You
• 31:23
  know,
• 31:23
  you
• 31:23
  started
• 31:24
  eating
• 31:24
  better,
• 31:24
  you
• 31:25
  started
• 31:25
  exercising.
• 31:26
  You
• 31:26
  know,
• 31:27
  these
• 31:27
  things
• 31:27
  helped
• 31:28
  you.
• 31:28
  You
• 31:28
  did
• 31:28
  what
• 31:28
  the
• 31:28
  doctors
• 31:29
  told
• 31:29
  you,
• 31:29
  you
• 31:30
  took
• 31:30
  it
• 31:30
  seriously,
• 31:31
  you
• 31:31
  did
• 31:31
  a
• 31:31
  good
• 31:31
  job.
• 31:32
  And,
• 31:33
  and
• 31:33
  that
• 31:34
  compliment
• 31:34
  didn't
• 31:35
  have
• 31:35
  a
• 31:35
  fighting
• 31:36
  undercurrent
• 31:37
  of
• 31:37
  anything.
• 31:37
  It
• 31:38
  was
• 31:38
  just
• 31:38
  a
• 31:38
  genuine
• 31:39
  compliment.
• 31:39
  And
• 31:40
  I
• 31:40
  immediately
• 31:41
  just
• 31:41
  started
• 31:41
  crying,
• 31:42
  like,
• 31:42
  because
• 31:43
  I
• 31:43
  felt
• 31:43
  like
• 31:43
  that
• 31:43
  was
• 31:44
  the
• 31:44
  first
• 31:44
  time
• 31:45
  I'd
• 31:45
  ever
• 31:46
  given
• 31:46
  myself
• 31:47
  just
• 31:47
  a
• 31:47
  flat
• 31:48
  out
• 31:48
  genuine
• 31:48
  Gucci
• 31:49
  bob,
• 31:50
  you
• 31:50
  know,
• 31:50
  without,
• 31:51
  without
• 31:52
  that
• 31:52
  passive
• 31:53
  aggressive,
• 31:54
  you
• 31:54
  know,
• 31:55
  you're
• 31:55
  not
• 31:55
  really,
• 31:56
  you
• 31:56
  know,
• 31:56
  that
• 31:56
  wasn't
• 31:57
  really
• 31:57
  good,
• 31:58
  you
• 31:58
  know,
• 31:58
  because
• 31:59
  it
• 31:59
  was
• 32:00
  good.
• 32:00
  Like,
• 32:00
  I
• 32:01
  did
• 32:01
  get
• 32:02
  through
• 32:02
  it,
• 32:02
  you
• 32:03
  know.
• 32:03
  Right.
• 32:04
  So
• 32:04
  I
• 32:04
  think
• 32:05
  after
• 32:05
  that
• 32:05
  I
• 32:06
  realized,
• 32:06
  like,
• 32:06
  God,
• 32:07
  I've
• 32:07
  been
• 32:07
  so
• 32:07
  mean
• 32:07
  to
• 32:08
  myself
• 32:08
  for
• 32:09
  so
• 32:09
  long
• 32:10
  for
• 32:10
  no
• 32:10
  good
• 32:11
  reason,
• 32:12
  you
• 32:12
  know,
• 32:14
  I'm
• 32:14
  gonna
• 32:14
  stop
• 32:15
  that.
• 32:15
  Like,
• 32:15
  I
• 32:16
  mean,
• 32:16
  obviously
• 32:16
  we
• 32:16
  can't
• 32:17
  stop
• 32:17
  at
• 32:17
  all
• 32:17
  and
• 32:18
  overnight.
• 32:19
  But
• 32:19
  now
• 32:19
  when
• 32:20
  I
• 32:20
  hear
• 32:20
  that
• 32:20
  negative
• 32:21
  playlist
• 32:21
  running,
• 32:22
  I
• 32:23
  challenge
• 32:23
  it,
• 32:24
  you
• 32:24
  know.
• 32:24
  Now
• 32:24
  when
• 32:24
  it's
• 32:25
  like,
• 32:25
  you
• 32:25
  know,
• 32:25
  oh,
• 32:26
  you
• 32:26
  know,
• 32:27
  you've
• 32:27
  done
• 32:27
  well
• 32:27
  in
• 32:27
  this
• 32:28
  book.
• 32:28
  No
• 32:28
  one's
• 32:28
  going
• 32:28
  to
• 32:28
  read
• 32:28
  the
• 32:29
  next
• 32:29
  book.
• 32:29
  And
• 32:30
  I'll
• 32:30
  challenge
• 32:31
  it.
• 32:31
  I'll
• 32:31
  say,
• 32:32
  everyone's
• 32:33
  read
• 32:33
  all
• 32:33
  these
• 32:33
  other
• 32:33
  books,
• 32:34
  they're
• 32:34
  going
• 32:34
  to
• 32:34
  read
• 32:34
  the
• 32:34
  next
• 32:35
  book.
• 32:35
  If
• 32:35
  they
• 32:35
  like
• 32:36
  the
• 32:36
  last
• 32:36
  one,
• 32:36
  they'll
• 32:37
  read
• 32:37
  the
• 32:37
  next
• 32:37
  one,
• 32:38
  you
• 32:38
  know,
• 32:38
  but
• 32:39
  it's
• 32:39
  really
• 32:39
  about
• 32:40
  not
• 32:40
  letting
• 32:41
  the
• 32:41
  loop
• 32:41
  run,
• 32:42
  like,
• 32:42
  without
• 32:43
  challenging.
• 32:43
  It's
• 32:44
  really
• 32:44
  about
• 32:44
  paying
• 32:45
  attention
• 32:46
  and
• 32:46
  then
• 32:46
  challenging
• 32:47
  it.
• 32:47
  And
• 32:48
  I
• 32:48
  think
• 32:49
  now
• 32:49
  I'm
• 32:50
  doing
• 32:50
  that
• 32:50
  more
• 32:51
  consciously
• 32:51
  than
• 32:52
  I,
• 32:52
  than
• 32:52
  I
• 32:52
  ever,
• 32:53
  than
• 32:53
  I
• 32:53
  ever
• 32:53
  have.
• 32:54
  And
• 32:54
  it's,
• 32:55
  It's
• 32:55
  a
• 32:55
  hard
• 32:55
  habit
• 32:55
  to
• 32:56
  get
• 32:56
  into
• 32:56
  because
• 32:56
  especially
• 32:57
  if
• 32:57
  you
• 32:57
  come
• 32:57
  from.
• 32:58
  And
• 32:58
  a
• 32:58
  lot
• 32:58
  of
• 32:58
  the
• 32:58
  people
• 32:58
  on
• 32:59
  here
• 32:59
  listening
• 33:00
  have
• 33:00
  come
• 33:00
  from
• 33:00
  those
• 33:01
  tumultuous
• 33:01
  backgrounds
• 33:02
  where
• 33:03
  you're
• 33:03
  wired
• 33:04
  to
• 33:04
  look
• 33:04
  for
• 33:05
  negativity.
• 33:06
  And,
• 33:07
  you
• 33:07
  know,
• 33:07
  like
• 33:07
  you
• 33:07
  said,
• 33:07
  you
• 33:08
  had
• 33:08
  the.
• 33:09
  It's
• 33:09
  survival.
• 33:10
  And
• 33:10
  when
• 33:10
  your
• 33:10
  brain
• 33:11
  is
• 33:11
  wired
• 33:11
  for
• 33:12
  survival,
• 33:13
  that's
• 33:13
  what
• 33:13
  you're
• 33:14
  trying
• 33:14
  to
• 33:14
  do
• 33:14
  is
• 33:14
  survive.
• 33:15
  You're
• 33:15
  not
• 33:15
  trying
• 33:15
  to
• 33:16
  thrive.
• 33:16
  And.
• 33:17
  Right.
• 33:18
  So.
• 33:18
  And
• 33:19
  I
• 33:19
  always
• 33:19
  talk.
• 33:19
  It's
• 33:20
  like
• 33:20
  the
• 33:20
  stop
• 33:21
  and
• 33:21
  you
• 33:21
  know,
• 33:21
  like
• 33:22
  the
• 33:22
  stop,
• 33:22
  drop
• 33:22
  and
• 33:22
  roll
• 33:23
  when
• 33:23
  you're
• 33:23
  on
• 33:23
  fire
• 33:23
  kind
• 33:24
  of
• 33:24
  thing.
• 33:24
  I
• 33:24
  say
• 33:24
  that
• 33:24
  with
• 33:25
  the
• 33:25
  negative
• 33:25
  self
• 33:25
  talk.
• 33:26
  It's
• 33:26
  like
• 33:26
  nip
• 33:26
  it
• 33:26
  in
• 33:26
  the
• 33:27
  butt.
• 33:27
  Like
• 33:27
  the
• 33:28
  minute
• 33:28
  that
• 33:28
  thought
• 33:28
  comes
• 33:29
  into
• 33:29
  your
• 33:29
  mind,
• 33:30
  question
• 33:30
  it,
• 33:31
  challenge
• 33:31
  it,
• 33:32
  make
• 33:32
  yourself
• 33:33
  show
• 33:33
  proof
• 33:33
  of
• 33:33
  that.
• 33:34
  And
• 33:34
  you
• 33:34
  can't
• 33:34
  do
• 33:35
  it
• 33:35
  because
• 33:35
  usually
• 33:35
  it's
• 33:36
  something
• 33:36
  that
• 33:36
  you're
• 33:36
  amazing
• 33:37
  at.
• 33:37
  Like,
• 33:37
  you.
• 33:37
  Right,
• 33:38
  right.
• 33:38
  You
• 33:39
  wrote
• 33:39
  34
• 33:39
  books.
• 33:40
  Why
• 33:40
  would
• 33:40
  you
• 33:40
  write
• 33:40
  a
• 33:40
  35th?
• 33:41
  Nobody's
• 33:41
  gonna
• 33:42
  read
• 33:42
  it
• 33:42
  and
• 33:42
  just
• 33:42
  be
• 33:42
  like,
• 33:42
  what?
• 33:43
  What?
• 33:43
  That's
• 33:44
  crazy.
• 33:44
  Yeah,
• 33:45
  exactly.
• 33:46
  Exactly.
• 33:47
  And
• 33:47
  especially
• 33:48
  when
• 33:48
  you're
• 33:48
  going
• 33:49
  through
• 33:50
  a
• 33:50
  health
• 33:50
  issue.
• 33:51
  I
• 33:51
  had
• 33:52
  doctors
• 33:52
  tell
• 33:52
  me,
• 33:53
  my
• 33:53
  surgeon,
• 33:53
  my
• 33:54
  breast
• 33:54
  Surgeon
• 33:54
  told
• 33:54
  me,
• 33:55
  well,
• 33:55
  you
• 33:55
  know,
• 33:55
  if
• 33:56
  you
• 33:56
  think,
• 33:56
  if
• 33:56
  you
• 33:57
  think
• 33:57
  you're
• 33:57
  going
• 33:57
  to
• 33:57
  do
• 33:57
  well,
• 33:57
  you
• 33:58
  will
• 33:58
  do
• 33:58
  well.
• 33:59
  You
• 33:59
  know,
• 33:59
  like
• 33:59
  there's
• 34:00
  a
• 34:00
  lot
• 34:00
  of
• 34:00
  studies
• 34:00
  about
• 34:01
  that.
• 34:01
  Like
• 34:01
  if
• 34:01
  you
• 34:01
  think
• 34:01
  you're
• 34:02
  going
• 34:02
  to
• 34:02
  do
• 34:03
  well,
• 34:03
  you
• 34:03
  will.
• 34:03
  So
• 34:03
  if
• 34:04
  you
• 34:04
  have
• 34:04
  this
• 34:04
  negative
• 34:04
  self
• 34:05
  talk
• 34:05
  that's
• 34:05
  telling
• 34:05
  you
• 34:05
  the
• 34:06
  surgery
• 34:06
  is
• 34:06
  not
• 34:06
  going
• 34:06
  to
• 34:06
  work,
• 34:07
  the
• 34:07
  chemo
• 34:07
  is
• 34:07
  not
• 34:07
  going
• 34:07
  to
• 34:08
  work,
• 34:08
  nothing's
• 34:08
  going
• 34:09
  to
• 34:09
  work,
• 34:09
  it's
• 34:09
  hopeless.
• 34:11
  There's
• 34:11
  a
• 34:11
  chance
• 34:11
  that
• 34:12
  becomes
• 34:12
  a
• 34:12
  self
• 34:12
  fulfilling
• 34:13
  prophecy,
• 34:13
  which
• 34:14
  is
• 34:14
  the
• 34:14
  last
• 34:14
  thing
• 34:14
  you
• 34:15
  want,
• 34:15
  you
• 34:15
  know.
• 34:16
  So
• 34:16
  negative
• 34:17
  self
• 34:17
  talk
• 34:17
  isn't
• 34:17
  just
• 34:18
  like
• 34:18
  bad
• 34:18
  for
• 34:18
  self
• 34:19
  esteem
• 34:19
  and
• 34:19
  your
• 34:20
  feelings.
• 34:20
  It
• 34:20
  can
• 34:20
  also
• 34:20
  be
• 34:21
  literally
• 34:21
  bad
• 34:21
  for
• 34:22
  your
• 34:22
  health.
• 34:22
  So
• 34:23
  I
• 34:24
  would
• 34:24
  tell
• 34:24
  people,
• 34:25
  yeah,
• 34:26
  no.
• 34:27
  I'm
• 34:27
  sorry,
• 34:27
  go
• 34:27
  ahead.
• 34:28
  Yeah,
• 34:28
  I
• 34:28
  mean,
• 34:29
  so,
• 34:30
  because
• 34:31
  that
• 34:31
  negativity
• 34:32
  can
• 34:32
  literally
• 34:33
  harm
• 34:33
  you,
• 34:34
  might
• 34:34
  even
• 34:35
  kill
• 34:35
  you.
• 34:36
  I
• 34:36
  think
• 34:36
  it's,
• 34:36
  it's,
• 34:37
  it's
• 34:37
  all
• 34:37
  about,
• 34:39
  if
• 34:39
  that
• 34:40
  doesn't
• 34:40
  encourage
• 34:40
  you
• 34:40
  to
• 34:41
  like
• 34:41
  take
• 34:41
  another
• 34:41
  look
• 34:41
  at
• 34:42
  it
• 34:42
  and
• 34:42
  take
• 34:42
  it
• 34:43
  seriously,
• 34:43
  you
• 34:44
  know,
• 34:44
  then
• 34:44
  I,
• 34:44
  you
• 34:45
  know,
• 34:45
  you
• 34:46
  should,
• 34:46
  I
• 34:47
  mean
• 34:47
  there's
• 34:47
  just.
• 34:47
  There'S
• 34:48
  just
• 34:48
  so
• 34:48
  many
• 34:48
  studies.
• 34:49
  It's
• 34:49
  not,
• 34:49
  it
• 34:50
  used
• 34:50
  to
• 34:50
  be
• 34:50
  woo
• 34:50
  woo,
• 34:51
  you
• 34:51
  know,
• 34:51
  all
• 34:51
  this
• 34:51
  stuff,
• 34:52
  but
• 34:52
  now
• 34:52
  there
• 34:52
  is
• 34:53
  so
• 34:53
  much
• 34:53
  science
• 34:53
  behind
• 34:54
  it.
• 34:54
  And
• 34:54
  it
• 34:54
  is
• 34:55
  true.
• 34:55
  If
• 34:55
  you
• 34:55
  think,
• 34:55
  if
• 34:56
  you
• 34:56
  think
• 34:56
  negatively,
• 34:57
  that's
• 34:58
  what
• 34:58
  the
• 34:58
  universe
• 34:58
  is
• 34:59
  going
• 34:59
  to
• 34:59
  give
• 34:59
  you.
• 35:00
  If
• 35:00
  you
• 35:00
  say
• 35:00
  it's,
• 35:01
  it's
• 35:01
  not
• 35:01
  working,
• 35:01
  well,
• 35:02
  your
• 35:02
  wish
• 35:03
  is
• 35:03
  granted,
• 35:03
  my
• 35:04
  loyal
• 35:05
  friend.
• 35:05
  It's
• 35:05
  not
• 35:05
  working.
• 35:06
  So
• 35:06
  here
• 35:07
  you
• 35:07
  go.
• 35:08
  So
• 35:08
  yeah,
• 35:08
  that's.
• 35:09
  And
• 35:09
  it,
• 35:10
  and
• 35:10
  it
• 35:10
  is
• 35:10
  hard
• 35:10
  to
• 35:11
  do
• 35:11
  but
• 35:11
  you
• 35:12
  know,
• 35:12
  fake
• 35:12
  it
• 35:13
  till
• 35:13
  you
• 35:13
  make
• 35:13
  it
• 35:14
  just
• 35:15
  stop
• 35:15
  it
• 35:15
  and
• 35:16
  eat.
• 35:16
  And
• 35:16
  you,
• 35:16
  eventually
• 35:17
  you
• 35:17
  will
• 35:17
  start
• 35:17
  to
• 35:17
  believe
• 35:18
  it
• 35:18
  because
• 35:18
  you're
• 35:18
  going
• 35:18
  to
• 35:18
  start
• 35:18
  to
• 35:19
  rewire
• 35:19
  those
• 35:20
  synapses
• 35:21
  and
• 35:21
  all
• 35:21
  those
• 35:21
  neurons
• 35:21
  that
• 35:22
  are
• 35:22
  firing
• 35:22
  in
• 35:22
  that
• 35:22
  negative
• 35:23
  way.
• 35:23
  You're
• 35:24
  going
• 35:24
  to
• 35:24
  start
• 35:24
  to
• 35:24
  rewire
• 35:24
  them
• 35:25
  to
• 35:25
  think,
• 35:25
  yes,
• 35:26
  it's
• 35:26
  working,
• 35:27
  but
• 35:27
  you
• 35:27
  have
• 35:28
  to,
• 35:28
  you
• 35:28
  have
• 35:28
  to
• 35:29
  listen
• 35:29
  to
• 35:29
  your
• 35:29
  body
• 35:30
  and,
• 35:30
  and
• 35:31
  catch
• 35:31
  yourself.
• 35:32
  And
• 35:33
  do
• 35:33
  you
• 35:33
  have
• 35:33
  any
• 35:34
  tips
• 35:34
  for
• 35:34
  like,
• 35:34
  like
• 35:35
  I
• 35:35
  used
• 35:35
  to
• 35:35
  carry
• 35:35
  around
• 35:36
  a
• 35:36
  journal
• 35:36
  with
• 35:36
  me
• 35:37
  and
• 35:37
  like
• 35:37
  a
• 35:38
  little
• 35:38
  book
• 35:38
  and
• 35:38
  every
• 35:39
  time
• 35:39
  something
• 35:39
  popped
• 35:40
  in
• 35:40
  my
• 35:40
  head
• 35:40
  like,
• 35:40
  oh,
• 35:41
  you're
• 35:41
  so
• 35:41
  dumb.
• 35:41
  Why
• 35:42
  would
• 35:42
  you
• 35:42
  do
• 35:42
  that?
• 35:42
  I
• 35:43
  would
• 35:43
  stop
• 35:43
  and
• 35:43
  I
• 35:43
  would
• 35:44
  write
• 35:44
  that
• 35:44
  down
• 35:44
  or
• 35:45
  I
• 35:45
  would
• 35:45
  say
• 35:45
  it
• 35:45
  out
• 35:46
  loud.
• 35:46
  You're
• 35:47
  not
• 35:47
  dumb.
• 35:47
  You
• 35:48
  are
• 35:48
  amazingly
• 35:48
  smart.
• 35:49
  You
• 35:49
  have
• 35:49
  two
• 35:49
  master's
• 35:50
  degrees
• 35:50
  and
• 35:51
  you
• 35:51
  know,
• 35:51
  like,
• 35:51
  why
• 35:51
  would
• 35:52
  you
• 35:52
  say
• 35:52
  you're
• 35:52
  dumb
• 35:52
  and
• 35:52
  question
• 35:53
  it
• 35:53
  and
• 35:53
  stop
• 35:54
  yourself?
• 35:54
  But
• 35:55
  do
• 35:55
  you
• 35:55
  have
• 35:55
  any
• 35:55
  other
• 35:55
  tips
• 35:56
  on
• 35:56
  how
• 35:56
  to
• 35:56
  do
• 35:56
  that
• 35:56
  for
• 35:57
  these
• 35:57
  people?
• 35:57
  Yeah,
• 35:58
  yeah,
• 35:59
  yeah.
• 35:59
  You
• 35:59
  know,
• 36:00
  for
• 36:00
  me,
• 36:02
  when
• 36:02
  the
• 36:03
  first.
• 36:03
  I
• 36:03
  would
• 36:04
  challenge.
• 36:04
  So
• 36:05
  the
• 36:05
  very
• 36:05
  first
• 36:05
  thing,
• 36:05
  like,
• 36:06
  you
• 36:06
  know,
• 36:07
  if
• 36:07
  I.
• 36:07
  If
• 36:07
  I
• 36:07
  had,
• 36:08
  like,
• 36:09
  you
• 36:09
  know,
• 36:09
  that.
• 36:10
  That.
• 36:10
  That
• 36:10
  chemotherapy
• 36:11
  won't
• 36:11
  work
• 36:11
  for
• 36:11
  me,
• 36:12
  you
• 36:12
  know,
• 36:13
  I
• 36:13
  would
• 36:13
  challenge
• 36:13
  it.
• 36:14
  I
• 36:14
  would
• 36:14
  say,
• 36:14
  well,
• 36:14
  the
• 36:14
  doctors
• 36:14
  say
• 36:15
  it
• 36:15
  will.
• 36:15
  And,
• 36:16
  you
• 36:16
  know,
• 36:16
  all
• 36:17
  of
• 36:17
  this
• 36:17
  science
• 36:18
  says
• 36:18
  it
• 36:18
  will.
• 36:18
  So
• 36:19
  I
• 36:19
  think
• 36:20
  it
• 36:20
  will,
• 36:20
  actually,
• 36:21
  you
• 36:21
  know,
• 36:21
  I.
• 36:21
  You
• 36:22
  know,
• 36:22
  that
• 36:22
  the
• 36:23
  negativity
• 36:23
  didn't
• 36:24
  have,
• 36:24
  like,
• 36:24
  actual
• 36:24
  research
• 36:25
  backing
• 36:26
  it.
• 36:26
  It
• 36:26
  was
• 36:26
  just.
• 36:27
  It
• 36:27
  was
• 36:27
  just
• 36:27
  fear
• 36:27
  and
• 36:27
  anxiety,
• 36:28
  you
• 36:28
  know,
• 36:29
  and.
• 36:29
  And
• 36:29
  a
• 36:29
  lot
• 36:29
  of
• 36:30
  the
• 36:30
  time
• 36:30
  that
• 36:30
  fear
• 36:30
  would
• 36:31
  be,
• 36:32
  no
• 36:32
  one's
• 36:33
  going
• 36:33
  to
• 36:33
  love
• 36:33
  you
• 36:33
  because
• 36:33
  you're
• 36:33
  going
• 36:33
  to
• 36:34
  lose
• 36:34
  all
• 36:34
  your
• 36:34
  hair.
• 36:34
  You
• 36:34
  know,
• 36:35
  I
• 36:35
  mean,
• 36:35
  if
• 36:35
  you
• 36:35
  really
• 36:35
  got
• 36:36
  down
• 36:36
  to
• 36:36
  it,
• 36:36
  it
• 36:37
  wasn't
• 36:37
  even
• 36:37
  about,
• 36:38
  like,
• 36:38
  the
• 36:38
  therapy
• 36:39
  not
• 36:39
  working.
• 36:39
  It's
• 36:40
  really
• 36:40
  about
• 36:40
  you
• 36:41
  being.
• 36:41
  Me
• 36:42
  being
• 36:42
  scared
• 36:42
  of
• 36:42
  being,
• 36:42
  like,
• 36:43
  rejected,
• 36:43
  you
• 36:44
  know?
• 36:44
  Right.
• 36:44
  And
• 36:44
  then.
• 36:45
  And
• 36:45
  then
• 36:45
  you
• 36:45
  would
• 36:45
  be,
• 36:45
  like,
• 36:45
  digging
• 36:46
  deep
• 36:46
  into
• 36:46
  that.
• 36:46
  So.
• 36:47
  So
• 36:47
  you
• 36:47
  can
• 36:48
  challenge
• 36:48
  it.
• 36:48
  You
• 36:48
  can
• 36:48
  get
• 36:48
  into
• 36:48
  a
• 36:49
  fight
• 36:49
  with
• 36:49
  yourself
• 36:49
  about
• 36:50
  it
• 36:51
  sometimes.
• 36:53
  I
• 36:53
  didn't
• 36:53
  really
• 36:54
  have
• 36:54
  a
• 36:54
  lot
• 36:54
  of,
• 36:54
  you
• 36:54
  know,
• 36:54
  like,
• 36:55
  time
• 36:55
  and
• 36:55
  energy
• 36:55
  for
• 36:55
  that,
• 36:56
  so
• 36:56
  I
• 36:56
  had
• 36:56
  a.
• 36:57
  I
• 36:57
  had
• 36:57
  a
• 36:57
  mantra
• 36:59
  to
• 37:00
  sort
• 37:00
  of
• 37:00
  silence
• 37:01
  the
• 37:01
  negativity,
• 37:02
  which
• 37:02
  is,
• 37:03
  there's
• 37:03
  no
• 37:03
  way
• 37:03
  but
• 37:04
  through.
• 37:05
  So
• 37:06
  because
• 37:07
  my.
• 37:07
  My
• 37:07
  negative.
• 37:08
  My
• 37:08
  negative
• 37:09
  voice
• 37:09
  kind
• 37:10
  of
• 37:11
  would
• 37:11
  be
• 37:12
  like,
• 37:12
  you
• 37:12
  don't
• 37:12
  want
• 37:12
  to
• 37:12
  do
• 37:13
  this
• 37:13
  treatment.
• 37:14
  Why
• 37:14
  don't
• 37:14
  we
• 37:14
  just
• 37:15
  quit?
• 37:15
  You
• 37:16
  know,
• 37:16
  like,
• 37:16
  maybe
• 37:17
  there's
• 37:17
  a
• 37:17
  lot
• 37:17
  of
• 37:17
  bargaining
• 37:18
  in
• 37:18
  with
• 37:19
  the
• 37:19
  negative
• 37:19
  negativity.
• 37:20
  Like,
• 37:22
  maybe
• 37:22
  we
• 37:22
  don't
• 37:22
  have
• 37:23
  to
• 37:23
  do
• 37:23
  it.
• 37:23
  You
• 37:23
  know,
• 37:23
  maybe
• 37:24
  we
• 37:24
  could
• 37:24
  go
• 37:24
  to
• 37:25
  Australia.
• 37:25
  Maybe
• 37:26
  we
• 37:26
  could
• 37:26
  find
• 37:26
  a
• 37:27
  herbal
• 37:27
  doctor.
• 37:28
  Like,
• 37:28
  maybe
• 37:28
  we
• 37:28
  could
• 37:29
  do
• 37:29
  all
• 37:29
  these
• 37:29
  things
• 37:29
  and
• 37:29
  get
• 37:30
  out
• 37:30
  of
• 37:30
  this
• 37:30
  hard
• 37:30
  thing
• 37:31
  in
• 37:31
  front
• 37:31
  of
• 37:31
  us.
• 37:32
  And
• 37:32
  the
• 37:33
  more
• 37:33
  the
• 37:33
  bargaining
• 37:33
  happened,
• 37:34
  that's
• 37:35
  when
• 37:35
  I
• 37:35
  realized
• 37:35
  it
• 37:35
  was
• 37:35
  just
• 37:36
  fear
• 37:36
  and
• 37:36
  anxiety,
• 37:37
  you
• 37:37
  know,
• 37:38
  and
• 37:38
  then
• 37:39
  I
• 37:39
  just
• 37:39
  told
• 37:39
  myself,
• 37:39
  like,
• 37:40
  there's.
• 37:40
  The
• 37:40
  fastest
• 37:41
  way
• 37:41
  is
• 37:41
  through.
• 37:42
  Like,
• 37:42
  there's.
• 37:42
  There's
• 37:43
  no
• 37:43
  bargaining.
• 37:43
  There's
• 37:44
  no
• 37:44
  shortcuts.
• 37:45
  There's
• 37:45
  no.
• 37:46
  There's
• 37:47
  no
• 37:47
  magic
• 37:47
  bullets.
• 37:48
  It's
• 37:48
  all
• 37:49
  going
• 37:49
  to
• 37:49
  be
• 37:49
  terrible.
• 37:49
  And
• 37:50
  we
• 37:50
  just
• 37:50
  have
• 37:50
  to
• 37:50
  get
• 37:51
  through,
• 37:51
  and
• 37:52
  we
• 37:52
  don't
• 37:52
  have
• 37:52
  to
• 37:52
  get
• 37:52
  through
• 37:53
  like
• 37:53
  a
• 37:54
  ballerina
• 37:54
  or
• 37:55
  a
• 37:55
  gazelle.
• 37:55
  We
• 37:56
  can
• 37:56
  get
• 37:56
  through
• 37:57
  ugly
• 37:57
  crying,
• 37:58
  you
• 37:59
  know,
• 37:59
  we
• 37:59
  can.
• 37:59
  We
• 38:00
  can
• 38:00
  get
• 38:00
  through
• 38:00
  like
• 38:00
  a
• 38:01
  bull
• 38:01
  in
• 38:01
  a
• 38:01
  china
• 38:01
  shop.
• 38:02
  Just
• 38:03
  got
• 38:03
  to
• 38:03
  get
• 38:03
  through.
• 38:04
  You
• 38:04
  just
• 38:04
  got
• 38:04
  to
• 38:04
  get
• 38:04
  through.
• 38:05
  You
• 38:05
  just
• 38:05
  got
• 38:05
  to
• 38:06
  get
• 38:06
  through.
• 38:06
  Yeah,
• 38:07
  so
• 38:07
  sometimes
• 38:07
  it
• 38:07
  was
• 38:07
  just
• 38:08
  like,
• 38:08
  there's
• 38:08
  no
• 38:08
  way
• 38:08
  but
• 38:08
  through.
• 38:09
  So
• 38:09
  that
• 38:09
  was
• 38:09
  those.
• 38:10
  Those
• 38:10
  negative
• 38:10
  thoughts
• 38:11
  would
• 38:11
  come,
• 38:11
  and
• 38:11
  I
• 38:11
  was
• 38:11
  like,
• 38:11
  there's
• 38:12
  no
• 38:12
  way
• 38:12
  but
• 38:12
  through.
• 38:13
  So
• 38:13
  it
• 38:14
  would
• 38:14
  just
• 38:14
  sort
• 38:14
  of
• 38:14
  silence
• 38:15
  it.
• 38:15
  Like,
• 38:15
  we
• 38:15
  just
• 38:15
  got
• 38:15
  to
• 38:15
  keep
• 38:16
  going.
• 38:16
  Like,
• 38:16
  we
• 38:16
  just
• 38:17
  have
• 38:17
  to
• 38:17
  keep
• 38:17
  on
• 38:17
  the
• 38:17
  path.
• 38:18
  I
• 38:19
  love
• 38:19
  that.
• 38:19
  I
• 38:19
  love
• 38:20
  that.
• 38:20
  Love
• 38:20
  all
• 38:21
  this
• 38:21
  information.
• 38:22
  And
• 38:22
  I
• 38:22
  think
• 38:23
  I
• 38:23
  can't
• 38:23
  wait
• 38:23
  to
• 38:23
  get
• 38:23
  your
• 38:24
  book
• 38:25
  and
• 38:25
  this
• 38:25
  has
• 38:26
  been
• 38:26
  fun.
• 38:26
  Good.
• 38:27
  Yes,
• 38:27
  I
• 38:27
  do,
• 38:27
  thank
• 38:28
  you
• 38:28
  so
• 38:28
  much.
• 38:29
  I
• 38:29
  do
• 38:29
  appreciate
• 38:29
  you
• 38:30
  coming
• 38:30
  on.
• 38:31
  And
• 38:32
  I
• 38:32
  will
• 38:32
  have
• 38:32
  all
• 38:33
  of
• 38:33
  the
• 38:33
  show
• 38:33
  notes
• 38:34
  in
• 38:34
  the,
• 38:35
  everything
• 38:35
  that
• 38:36
  you
• 38:36
  have,
• 38:36
  all
• 38:36
  your
• 38:36
  links
• 38:36
  as
• 38:37
  there.
• 38:37
  Do
• 38:37
  you
• 38:37
  take
• 38:38
  calls?
• 38:38
  I
• 38:38
  mean,
• 38:39
  what
• 38:39
  do
• 38:39
  you
• 38:39
  do?
• 38:40
  I
• 38:40
  know
• 38:40
  your
• 38:41
  money
• 38:41
  goes,
• 38:41
  the
• 38:41
  books,
• 38:42
  your
• 38:42
  money
• 38:42
  goes
• 38:42
  to
• 38:43
  half
• 38:43
  of
• 38:43
  it
• 38:43
  to
• 38:44
  organizations
• 38:44
  and
• 38:45
  everything.
• 38:45
  Do
• 38:45
  you
• 38:46
  work
• 38:46
  with
• 38:46
  people?
• 38:46
  Are
• 38:46
  you
• 38:47
  just
• 38:47
  a
• 38:47
  support
• 38:47
  or
• 38:48
  how,
• 38:48
  how
• 38:48
  does
• 38:48
  that
• 38:48
  look?
• 38:49
  Yeah.
• 38:50
  So
• 38:50
  on
• 38:50
  my
• 38:51
  website,
• 38:51
  Kara,
• 38:52
  the
• 38:52
  author,
• 38:52
  Kara
• 38:53
  with
• 38:53
  A
• 38:53
  C
• 38:53
  karateauthor.com
• 38:56
  People
• 38:56
  can
• 38:56
  reach
• 38:56
  out
• 38:57
  to
• 38:57
  me,
• 38:58
  email
• 38:58
  me.
• 38:59
  I,
• 38:59
  I
• 39:00
  do.
• 39:00
  I'm
• 39:01
  happy
• 39:01
  to
• 39:01
  send
• 39:02
  little,
• 39:03
  little
• 39:03
  pep
• 39:03
  talks
• 39:04
  or
• 39:05
  some
• 39:05
  people
• 39:05
  have
• 39:06
  asked
• 39:06
  for
• 39:07
  book
• 39:07
  plates.
• 39:08
  Those
• 39:08
  are
• 39:08
  little
• 39:09
  stickers
• 39:09
  that
• 39:09
  are
• 39:10
  like
• 39:10
  signed
• 39:10
  stickers
• 39:11
  because
• 39:11
  they
• 39:11
  can
• 39:11
  go
• 39:11
  right
• 39:12
  in
• 39:12
  the
• 39:12
  book.
• 39:12
  So
• 39:12
  I'm
• 39:13
  happy
• 39:13
  to
• 39:13
  do
• 39:13
  that.
• 39:15
  I
• 39:15
  also
• 39:16
  work
• 39:17
  with
• 39:17
  a
• 39:17
  non
• 39:18
  profit
• 39:18
  called
• 39:18
  twistedpeak.org
• 39:20
  so
• 39:20
  they
• 39:20
  send
• 39:21
  out
• 39:21
  care
• 39:21
  packages
• 39:22
  to
• 39:22
  people
• 39:22
  in
• 39:23
  treatment
• 39:23
  and
• 39:24
  I'm
• 39:24
  providing
• 39:25
  for
• 39:25
  every
• 39:25
  book
• 39:25
  purchased.
• 39:26
  A
• 39:26
  free
• 39:26
  one
• 39:27
  goes
• 39:27
  in
• 39:28
  to
• 39:28
  the,
• 39:28
  to
• 39:29
  the
• 39:29
  packages.
• 39:29
  So
• 39:30
  I'm
• 39:31
  just
• 39:31
  trying
• 39:31
  to,
• 39:31
  you
• 39:32
  know,
• 39:32
  let
• 39:32
  people
• 39:32
  know
• 39:32
  they're
• 39:33
  not,
• 39:33
  not
• 39:33
  alone.
• 39:34
  If
• 39:34
  anyone
• 39:35
  ever
• 39:35
  wants
• 39:35
  to
• 39:35
  connect
• 39:36
  on
• 39:36
  social
• 39:36
  media,
• 39:37
  that's
• 39:37
  all
• 39:37
  on
• 39:37
  my
• 39:37
  website,
• 39:38
  you
• 39:38
  know,
• 39:39
  I'm
• 39:39
  happy
• 39:39
  to
• 39:39
  offer
• 39:39
  encouragement,
• 39:40
  you
• 39:40
  know,
• 39:40
  if
• 39:41
  I
• 39:41
  can,
• 39:41
  just,
• 39:42
  just
• 39:42
  to
• 39:42
  let
• 39:42
  people
• 39:42
  know
• 39:43
  they're,
• 39:43
  they're
• 39:43
  not
• 39:43
  alone.
• 39:44
  Perfect.
• 39:45
  I
• 39:45
  love
• 39:45
  that.
• 39:46
  And
• 39:46
  I,
• 39:46
  like
• 39:46
  I
• 39:46
  said,
• 39:46
  I'll
• 39:47
  put
• 39:47
  all
• 39:47
  those
• 39:47
  show
• 39:47
  notes
• 39:47
  in
• 39:48
  there.
• 39:48
  I'll
• 39:48
  put
• 39:48
  a
• 39:48
  link
• 39:48
  to
• 39:48
  your
• 39:48
  book
• 39:49
  and
• 39:49
  everything
• 39:49
  because
• 39:49
  I
• 39:49
  think
• 39:49
  the
• 39:50
  book,
• 39:51
  I
• 39:52
  think,
• 39:52
  you
• 39:52
  know,
• 39:53
  you
• 39:53
  don't
• 39:53
  want
• 39:53
  to
• 39:53
  read.
• 39:53
  I'll
• 39:54
  be
• 39:54
  honest,
• 39:54
  like
• 39:55
  if
• 39:55
  you're
• 39:55
  going
• 39:55
  through
• 39:55
  that,
• 39:56
  I've
• 39:56
  had
• 39:56
  people
• 39:56
  that
• 39:56
  are
• 39:57
  going
• 39:57
  through
• 39:57
  it
• 39:57
  and
• 39:57
  they're
• 39:58
  like,
• 39:58
  I
• 39:58
  don't
• 39:58
  want
• 39:58
  to
• 39:58
  read
• 39:58
  another
• 39:59
  story,
• 39:59
  story,
• 39:59
  another
• 40:00
  sad
• 40:00
  story.
• 40:02
  Because
• 40:02
  they're
• 40:02
  like,
• 40:02
  that's
• 40:03
  not
• 40:03
  helping
• 40:04
  me.
• 40:04
  But
• 40:04
  to
• 40:05
  be
• 40:05
  able
• 40:05
  to
• 40:05
  throw
• 40:05
  humor
• 40:06
  in
• 40:06
  there
• 40:06
  and
• 40:06
  to
• 40:06
  have
• 40:07
  the
• 40:07
  pep
• 40:07
  talks
• 40:07
  and
• 40:07
  to
• 40:08
  be
• 40:08
  able
• 40:08
  to
• 40:08
  skip
• 40:09
  through
• 40:09
  the
• 40:09
  book
• 40:09
  and
• 40:10
  to
• 40:10
  navigate
• 40:10
  and
• 40:10
  to
• 40:11
  go
• 40:11
  back
• 40:11
  to
• 40:11
  a
• 40:11
  pep
• 40:11
  talk
• 40:12
  that
• 40:12
  you
• 40:12
  might
• 40:12
  need
• 40:12
  one
• 40:13
  day
• 40:13
  when
• 40:13
  something
• 40:13
  happens.
• 40:14
  I
• 40:14
  mean
• 40:15
  I,
• 40:15
  I
• 40:15
  love
• 40:15
  the
• 40:16
  way
• 40:16
  you
• 40:16
  set
• 40:16
  that
• 40:16
  up
• 40:17
  and
• 40:17
  I
• 40:17
  love,
• 40:17
  you
• 40:17
  know,
• 40:18
  just
• 40:18
  the
• 40:18
  pep
• 40:18
  talks
• 40:19
  alone
• 40:19
  is
• 40:19
  so
• 40:20
  encouraging
• 40:21
  and
• 40:22
  that
• 40:22
  we,
• 40:22
  we
• 40:23
  need
• 40:23
  it
• 40:23
  and
• 40:24
  it
• 40:24
  means
• 40:24
  so,
• 40:25
  so
• 40:25
  much
• 40:25
  more
• 40:25
  coming
• 40:26
  from
• 40:26
  someone
• 40:26
  who's
• 40:27
  experienced
• 40:27
  it.
• 40:28
  Yeah,
• 40:28
  absolutely.
• 40:29
  And
• 40:29
  there,
• 40:29
  there
• 40:30
  is
• 40:30
  an
• 40:30
  audiobook
• 40:31
  version
• 40:31
  too.
• 40:32
  So
• 40:32
  if
• 40:32
  you,
• 40:32
  you
• 40:33
  know,
• 40:33
  have
• 40:33
  several
• 40:33
  hours
• 40:34
  at
• 40:34
  the
• 40:34
  infusion
• 40:34
  center
• 40:35
  and
• 40:35
  you,
• 40:35
  you
• 40:36
  know,
• 40:36
  just
• 40:36
  want
• 40:36
  a
• 40:37
  little
• 40:37
  bit
• 40:37
  of
• 40:37
  humor,
• 40:37
  a
• 40:38
  little
• 40:38
  bit
• 40:38
  of
• 40:38
  encouragement,
• 40:39
  you
• 40:39
  know,
• 40:39
  in
• 40:40
  your
• 40:40
  ear,
• 40:41
  that's
• 40:42
  something
• 40:42
  available
• 40:42
  too
• 40:43
  because
• 40:43
  it's
• 40:44
  for
• 40:44
  me,
• 40:44
  I'm
• 40:44
  really
• 40:44
  hoping
• 40:45
  to
• 40:45
  show
• 40:45
  people
• 40:46
  not.
• 40:46
  Not
• 40:46
  the.
• 40:47
  Here's.
• 40:48
  Here's
• 40:48
  exactly
• 40:48
  what
• 40:49
  happened
• 40:49
  to
• 40:49
  me
• 40:49
  and
• 40:49
  how
• 40:50
  horrible
• 40:50
  it
• 40:50
  was.
• 40:51
  It's.
• 40:51
  It's
• 40:51
  really
• 40:52
  more.
• 40:52
  How
• 40:52
  do
• 40:52
  you
• 40:52
  go
• 40:53
  from,
• 40:53
  you
• 40:54
  know,
• 40:54
  being
• 40:55
  panicked
• 40:55
  in
• 40:55
  the
• 40:56
  White
• 40:56
  Room
• 40:56
  to
• 40:56
  being
• 40:57
  a
• 40:57
  warrior?
• 40:57
  Like,
• 40:58
  it's
• 40:58
  the
• 40:58
  transformation,
• 40:59
  and
• 40:59
  a
• 40:59
  lot
• 41:00
  of
• 41:00
  that's
• 41:00
  pep
• 41:00
  talk
• 41:00
  and
• 41:01
  dealing
• 41:01
  with
• 41:01
  the
• 41:02
  negativity
• 41:02
  and
• 41:02
  just
• 41:03
  emotionally,
• 41:04
  how
• 41:04
  do
• 41:04
  you
• 41:04
  handle
• 41:04
  it?
• 41:05
  Right.
• 41:05
  Right.
• 41:06
  Well,
• 41:06
  thank
• 41:07
  you
• 41:07
  so
• 41:07
  much
• 41:07
  for
• 41:08
  Kara
• 41:08
  for
• 41:08
  coming
• 41:08
  on.
• 41:09
  Thank
• 41:10
  you
• 41:10
  so
• 41:10
  much
• 41:10
  for
• 41:10
  having
• 41:10
  me.
• 41:10
  It's
• 41:11
  been
• 41:11
  a
• 41:11
  pleasure
• 41:11
  talking
• 41:11
  with
• 41:12
  you.
• 41:12
  Yeah,
• 41:12
  absolutely.
• 41:13
  Now,
• 41:14
  you're
• 41:14
  not
• 41:14
  off
• 41:14
  the
• 41:14
  hook
• 41:14
  yet,
• 41:15
  because
• 41:15
  I
• 41:15
  always
• 41:15
  ask
• 41:15
  the
• 41:16
  guests
• 41:16
  to
• 41:16
  give
• 41:16
  the
• 41:17
  listeners
• 41:17
  one
• 41:18
  last
• 41:19
  piece
• 41:19
  of
• 41:19
  advice
• 41:20
  or
• 41:20
  something
• 41:20
  tangible,
• 41:21
  or
• 41:21
  if
• 41:21
  you
• 41:21
  had
• 41:21
  to
• 41:21
  give
• 41:21
  your
• 41:22
  best
• 41:22
  pieces
• 41:22
  of
• 41:22
  wisdom
• 41:23
  for
• 41:23
  how
• 41:24
  to
• 41:24
  navigate
• 41:24
  from
• 41:25
  diagnosis
• 41:26
  to
• 41:27
  remission
• 41:27
  or
• 41:27
  whatever
• 41:28
  that
• 41:28
  looks
• 41:28
  like,
• 41:29
  what
• 41:29
  would
• 41:29
  it
• 41:29
  be?
• 41:30
  Yeah,
• 41:31
  I
• 41:31
  would
• 41:31
  say
• 41:33
  you're
• 41:33
  stronger
• 41:34
  than
• 41:34
  you
• 41:34
  think
• 41:34
  you
• 41:34
  are.
• 41:35
  And,
• 41:35
  you
• 41:35
  know,
• 41:36
  you
• 41:36
  really,
• 41:36
  truly
• 41:37
  are.
• 41:37
  Don't.
• 41:37
  Don't
• 41:37
  listen.
• 41:38
  There.
• 41:38
  There
• 41:38
  will
• 41:38
  be
• 41:38
  people
• 41:39
  who
• 41:39
  be
• 41:39
  like,
• 41:39
  ah,
• 41:39
  you
• 41:40
  got
• 41:40
  it.
• 41:40
  And
• 41:40
  you're
• 41:40
  like,
• 41:40
  I
• 41:40
  don't
• 41:40
  have
• 41:41
  it.
• 41:42
  You're
• 41:43
  stronger
• 41:43
  than
• 41:43
  you
• 41:43
  think
• 41:43
  you
• 41:44
  are.
• 41:44
  And.
• 41:47
  You
• 41:47
  will
• 41:49
  get
• 41:49
  your
• 41:49
  arms
• 41:49
  around
• 41:50
  it.
• 41:51
  It'll
• 41:51
  take
• 41:51
  some
• 41:51
  time.
• 41:52
  It'll
• 41:52
  take
• 41:53
  a
• 41:54
  lot
• 41:54
  of
• 41:54
  tears
• 41:54
  and
• 41:54
  a
• 41:55
  lot
• 41:55
  of
• 41:55
  emotion,
• 41:57
  but
• 41:57
  you
• 41:58
  will
• 41:58
  get
• 41:58
  your
• 41:58
  arms
• 41:58
  around
• 41:59
  it.
• 41:59
  You're
• 41:59
  stronger
• 41:59
  than
• 42:00
  you
• 42:00
  think
• 42:00
  you
• 42:00
  are.
• 42:01
  And
• 42:01
  trust
• 42:01
  yourself,
• 42:03
  because
• 42:05
  you're
• 42:05
  stronger
• 42:05
  than
• 42:06
  you
• 42:06
  know.
• 42:07
  Amen.
• 42:08
  Thank
• 42:08
  you
• 42:08
  so
• 42:08
  much.
• 42:09
  And
• 42:09
  for
• 42:10
  everybody
• 42:10
  else
• 42:10
  out
• 42:10
  there
• 42:10
  listening,
• 42:11
  you
• 42:11
  heard
• 42:11
  it.
• 42:11
  You
• 42:12
  heard
• 42:12
  it
• 42:12
  right
• 42:12
  from
• 42:12
  her.
• 42:13
  You
• 42:13
  are
• 42:13
  stronger
• 42:13
  than
• 42:14
  you
• 42:14
  think
• 42:14
  you
• 42:14
  are.
• 42:14
  And
• 42:14
  I
• 42:14
  love
• 42:15
  some
• 42:15
  of
• 42:15
  the
• 42:15
  quotes.
• 42:15
  You
• 42:16
  know,
• 42:16
  the.
• 42:16
  The
• 42:17
  quickest
• 42:17
  way
• 42:17
  is
• 42:18
  to
• 42:18
  go
• 42:18
  through
• 42:18
  it
• 42:18
  is
• 42:19
  there's
• 42:20
  no
• 42:20
  way
• 42:20
  but
• 42:20
  through.
• 42:21
  No
• 42:21
  way
• 42:22
  but
• 42:22
  through.
• 42:22
  Yep.
• 42:23
  And
• 42:23
  I
• 42:23
  also
• 42:24
  love
• 42:24
  for
• 42:24
  everybody
• 42:24
  else
• 42:25
  out,
• 42:25
  and
• 42:25
  this
• 42:25
  goes
• 42:26
  for
• 42:26
  everything.
• 42:26
  I
• 42:26
  mean,
• 42:27
  people
• 42:27
  on
• 42:28
  here,
• 42:28
  they're
• 42:29
  going
• 42:29
  through
• 42:29
  adversities
• 42:30
  that
• 42:30
  might
• 42:30
  not
• 42:30
  be
• 42:30
  a
• 42:31
  cancer
• 42:31
  diagnosis,
• 42:32
  but
• 42:32
  they're
• 42:32
  going
• 42:32
  through
• 42:33
  stuff.
• 42:33
  And
• 42:34
  all
• 42:34
  of
• 42:34
  this
• 42:34
  applies
• 42:35
  to
• 42:35
  any
• 42:36
  kind
• 42:36
  of
• 42:36
  trauma,
• 42:37
  any
• 42:37
  kind
• 42:37
  of
• 42:37
  life
• 42:38
  event.
• 42:38
  It's.
• 42:39
  It's
• 42:40
  all
• 42:40
  practical
• 42:40
  information
• 42:41
  that
• 42:41
  we
• 42:41
  can
• 42:42
  all
• 42:42
  use
• 42:43
  for
• 42:43
  sure.
• 42:44
  And
• 42:44
  I
• 42:44
  just.
• 42:45
  I
• 42:45
  love
• 42:45
  that
• 42:45
  you
• 42:46
  came
• 42:46
  on
• 42:46
  to
• 42:46
  share
• 42:46
  that.
• 42:46
  If
• 42:47
  anybody
• 42:47
  out
• 42:47
  there
• 42:47
  is
• 42:48
  listening
• 42:48
  and
• 42:48
  you
• 42:48
  want
• 42:49
  to
• 42:49
  ask
• 42:49
  questions
• 42:50
  to
• 42:50
  myself
• 42:50
  or,
• 42:51
  you
• 42:51
  know,
• 42:51
  drop
• 42:51
  a
• 42:51
  comment
• 42:52
  below,
• 42:52
  let's
• 42:53
  see
• 42:53
  how
• 42:53
  we
• 42:53
  can
• 42:53
  work
• 42:54
  together.
• 42:54
  If
• 42:54
  you
• 42:54
  need
• 42:54
  a
• 42:55
  pep
• 42:55
  talk,
• 42:56
  let's
• 42:56
  do
• 42:56
  it.
• 42:56
  I
• 42:57
  love
• 42:57
  those
• 42:57
  pep
• 42:57
  talks.
• 42:59
  So.
• 42:59
  And
• 42:59
  I
• 43:00
  will
• 43:00
  see
• 43:00
  you
• 43:00
  guys
• 43:01
  back
• 43:01
  next
• 43:02
  week.
• 43:03
  Thanks
• 43:03
  so
• 43:04
  much.
• 43:04
  Thank
• 43:05
  you.