Latest / Let Them Fly - Heather Harries Ed Hub / Why boundaries matter and how to know yours with Leah Nicholls

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Why boundaries matter and how to know yours with Leah Nicholls · Let Them Fly - Heather Harries Ed Hub

• 0:10
  SPEAKER_01: Hello, and a very warm welcome to Let Them Fly with me, Heather Harris.
• 0:15
  SPEAKER_01: If you're a parent, you'll know that quiet worry are my children on the right path.
• 0:21
  SPEAKER_01: This is the podcast that gently reminds you to believe a little more in our children and their wonderful ability to surprise us.
• 0:29
  SPEAKER_01: Because no one is born great, and so few of us follow the path that we first imagined.
• 0:35
  SPEAKER_01: We hope to inspire you, reassure you, and give you the quiet confidence to trust a little more and let your children fly.
• 0:44
  SPEAKER_01: So today it's my joy to welcome Leah Nichols, who's the impulse who's a founder of Impulse Self-Defence, the UAE's only female-led awareness and self-protection club, based in Jobai.
• 0:57
  SPEAKER_01: With a background in martial arts, she blends practical scenario-based training with awareness, confidence, and boundary setting.
• 1:05
  SPEAKER_01: Her starting point is one parent, is every parent here will recognise our children grow up inside the UAE bubble, one of the safest places on earth where ch girls can walk, ride, and roam with freedom that simply doesn't exist in most of the world.
• 1:20
  SPEAKER_01: That safety is a gift.
• 1:22
  SPEAKER_01: But Leah's real concern is what happens when a girl steps outside the bubble off to university or to travel suddenly without that protection around her.
• 1:31
  SPEAKER_01: Through her uni prayer at work with Six Formers, she helps young boys and girls leave home feeling, in her words, strong, safe, and unapologetically confident, carrying the awareness and instincts that the bubble never asked them to develop.
• 1:48
  SPEAKER_01: Her message to every girl and every watching parent is a simple one.
• 1:54
  SPEAKER_01: Be your own hero.
• 1:56
  SPEAKER_01: Welcome, Leah.
• 1:57
  SPEAKER_01: I absolutely love that.
• 1:59
  SPEAKER_01: As you say, Dubai is one of the safest cities on earth.
• 2:04
  SPEAKER_01: How does growing up in that bubble shape our girls?
• 2:07
  SPEAKER_00: I think the key word you've used there is bubble for sure.
• 2:11
  SPEAKER_00: So, yes, it is incredibly safe here, and with that comes lots of advantages.
• 2:16
  SPEAKER_00: However, it does give a false sense of security, I think, when you leave it.
• 2:20
  SPEAKER_00: And it means that kids here don't really get a chance to like test boundaries and be able to be exposed to certain risks.
• 2:31
  SPEAKER_00: There is something called Street Smarts, which you can't really teach, you have to experience for yourself.
• 2:36
  SPEAKER_00: And yes, Dubai is safe, but as soon as kids leave, there's actually a statistic for kids that go to university abroad from Dubai, and the dropout rate is quite high.
• 2:48
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know the exact statistic, but um that to me is quite shocking because it's not just the work, the university degree, the academic side of it, it's everything that goes with it.
• 3:01
  SPEAKER_00: Making new friends, living independently, being in a new environment.
• 3:05
  SPEAKER_00: When it's so far removed to what you're used to in Dubai, it can be a real shock.
• 3:09
  SPEAKER_01: I think it's really hard.
• 3:10
  SPEAKER_01: Dubai, they do grow up beautifully naive and beautifully innocent.
• 3:13
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, I I know that you know my own kids when they've gone to university and they'd be like, I've got to lock the door.
• 3:18
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, you have to lock the door.
• 3:19
  SPEAKER_01: You have to not take drinks from strangers.
• 3:21
  SPEAKER_01: You have to just there's there's those very safety things that I think when you grow up in the UK, you're so aware of.
• 3:27
  SPEAKER_01: And when you grow up here, they're just not second nature.
• 3:30
  SPEAKER_00: You just don't need to really be that cautious here because you know that no, it's it's okay.
• 3:35
  SPEAKER_00: It either, I'm not saying it doesn't happen, but it's very rare.
• 3:39
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and so yeah, kids have a lot more freedom here in terms of safety.
• 3:42
  SPEAKER_00: But as I said, a slight false sense of security when they leave.
• 3:45
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I know the world's such a lovely place from here, isn't it?
• 3:48
  SPEAKER_01: Um so I mean we talk about self-defense, and I know that this is your whole kind of um ethos is about self-defense, but self-defense doesn't have to mean fighting.
• 3:58
  SPEAKER_00: No, that's the biggest misconception, actually, is that self-defense is all about fighting, and it's not 90% of self-defense actually happens before anything physical.
• 4:06
  SPEAKER_00: So a lot of that is recognizing red flags, it is recognising behaviours, it is setting boundaries and knowing that you can say no and without guilt or without shame, and it's preparation mainly before any of the combat skills come into play.
• 4:23
  SPEAKER_00: But the biggest gift I think it gives you is that you don't feel powerless.
• 4:27
  SPEAKER_00: You know, you have it be your own hero.
• 4:30
  SPEAKER_00: You you have it in you to know that no, if I want to leave, I I can leave, or no, I don't want that attention, thank you very much.
• 4:38
  SPEAKER_00: And it's setting those boundaries early.
• 4:40
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and the awareness that happens, like I said, before anything physical.
• 4:45
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 4:46
  SPEAKER_01: I I do remember when I was a child, we I was brought up in West Wales, which is totally safe.
• 4:50
  SPEAKER_01: And before we all went to university, the school put in these self-defence.
• 4:54
  SPEAKER_01: It was I mean, very advanced, really.
• 4:56
  SPEAKER_01: I suppose if you go back a long, a long time ago.
• 4:59
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and I remember we all did these these uh it was a police officer I think came in and we did these sort of self-defence moves, and then we went back up to our common room and we were talking to the you know six-form boys and rugby team and kind of like, come and attack us, we've got this.
• 5:13
  SPEAKER_01: No, actually, if you could just hold my hand in a different way so that I I know the escape room, and it was really that, and it was almost we were given almost too much confidence.
• 5:21
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I I know what you mean.
• 5:22
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and also like in real life, there are no rules, so you don't know how it's gonna happen, you don't know who it's gonna be, and um unless you're training at it over and over again and different options for it, yeah, it's it's really hard to put maybe one session into practice.
• 5:38
  SPEAKER_00: But it's great that your school did that.
• 5:39
  SPEAKER_00: My school never did that, so it's one of the biggest reasons why I started this was that yeah, I didn't have that kind of training or anything when I was yeah, pre-teen, like a tween.
• 5:49
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 5:50
  SPEAKER_01: I I haven't seen schools out here do it before, but it was the same mine when West Wellesby did, and yeah, but it can't say it's a great success.
• 5:56
  SPEAKER_01: Um, so what made you set out a self-defense club for girls?
• 5:59
  SPEAKER_01: Now I know you do boys as well now, but I do start with girls.
• 6:02
  SPEAKER_01: Why did you start it?
• 6:04
  SPEAKER_00: I think I've got different answers for this because I originally came up with the idea during COVID when I was living in a different country uh in Sri Lanka, and domestic abuse cases were rising around the world.
• 6:15
  SPEAKER_00: And I was thinking with all my martial arts experience, there must be something that I can do.
• 6:19
  SPEAKER_00: It's now grown into something that I'm trying to create a safe space and an environment and skills that I didn't learn when I was growing up.
• 6:30
  SPEAKER_00: Um, so it's kind of like therapy for me.
• 6:32
  SPEAKER_00: It's like giving other uh students a chance to have what I didn't.
• 6:37
  SPEAKER_00: So, um, and yeah, like we've said, Dubai is super safe, which is great.
• 6:42
  SPEAKER_00: But even for me, I have to remind myself when I go back to the UK or anywhere when I'm traveling.
• 6:46
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, yes, I have to be more aware and I have to keep an eye on that person, is that person following me?
• 6:51
  SPEAKER_00: Watch my drink, and not saying you shouldn't do that here, but it's just more prevalent um in other countries.
• 6:57
  SPEAKER_01: And was there a point in your life that made you think self-defense was something people should learn?
• 7:03
  SPEAKER_00: I've been through some experiences.
• 7:05
  SPEAKER_00: Um, like I've had friends who have had their drink spiked, um, I've made bad boyfriend choices.
• 7:12
  SPEAKER_00: I've all we all um but I've I've been traveling around the world um by myself um and I got mugged, I've been followed.
• 7:22
  SPEAKER_00: I've been through a lot of different things, which when I look back now, which is why I keep saying it's kind of like therapy for me, I look back, my goodness, if I was just if I'd learnt what I know now and what I'm teaching now, a lot of that could have been prevented.
• 7:36
  SPEAKER_00: Um, so oh I've lost my train of thought.
• 7:39
  SPEAKER_00: I'm so glad this is pre-recorded.
• 7:41
  SPEAKER_01: Anyway, carry on.
• 7:42
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, no, and I I think quite often when when there is always a personal spark that just sets you off on that trail, yeah.
• 7:50
  SPEAKER_01: Definitely.
• 7:50
  SPEAKER_01: So, what changes in a girl once she knows that she's got these skills in place?
• 7:57
  SPEAKER_00: I think it's less physical and more psychological.
• 8:01
  SPEAKER_00: I think there is a quiet confidence with it.
• 8:04
  SPEAKER_00: I I see self-defense as insurance where it's in your back pocket, especially with the physical stuff.
• 8:09
  SPEAKER_00: You hope you never need to use it, but it's great to know it's there.
• 8:12
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and I think when, especially for girls, I mean, I've I've been a girl, a teenager, and I'm now a woman, so I have a unique perspective on this when I'm teaching.
• 8:23
  SPEAKER_00: When you know that you can be in control, and yeah, when you have strong boundaries, you're harder to manipulate, you feel confident in yourself, you um are very aware of who you are, and I think it's more about liking yourself as well.
• 8:39
  SPEAKER_00: There's a lot of no, that's that's okay, I don't care, I'm gonna carry on.
• 8:43
  SPEAKER_00: Uh so I think self-defense definitely for a girl, it um it definitely gives you a sense of power that everybody should have.
• 8:52
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, and it's confidence.
• 8:54
  SPEAKER_01: Bottom line, you can't.
• 8:55
  SPEAKER_01: All of it, yeah.
• 8:55
  SPEAKER_01: It's confidence.
• 8:56
  SPEAKER_01: Be your own hero.
• 8:57
  SPEAKER_01: I love that tagline.
• 8:58
  SPEAKER_01: It's absolutely that.
• 9:00
  SPEAKER_01: Um, how do you help a girl set a boundary or say no and truly mean it?
• 9:07
  SPEAKER_00: So boundaries are quite personal, everyone's got different ones and different levels of it, and it all depends on, I mean, it can depend on culture, religion, all these different things.
• 9:17
  SPEAKER_00: So it's something that each student has to choose for themselves.
• 9:20
  SPEAKER_00: I can't tell them what their boundaries are.
• 9:22
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I give examples an example.
• 9:25
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I've just hired a male instructor, he's French, and I'm thinking about French culture, the wah, wah, wah, wah.
• 9:31
  SPEAKER_00: When even something as simple as that, I'm British, that's very like for us, perhaps not so um normal for us when we greet each other.
• 9:39
  SPEAKER_00: There's nothing wrong with it, but again, that's like a different boundary.
• 9:42
  SPEAKER_00: Like um, so again, I can't I can't keep saying enough.
• 9:45
  SPEAKER_00: It's it's it's the confidence of um what where where's your line?
• 9:50
  SPEAKER_00: Um I always work with a three-strike rule.
• 9:53
  SPEAKER_00: Um, so I ask, I tell, then I do.
• 9:56
  SPEAKER_00: But that's my boundaries.
• 9:58
  SPEAKER_00: Those are my boundaries, depending on context, of course.
• 10:00
  SPEAKER_00: And that is why in my classes I do scenario-based training, because it's hard for these kids here in Dubai to set boundaries when they don't understand what they're setting boundaries for.
• 10:09
  SPEAKER_00: So this surrounds things like consent, knowing coercive control, understanding, you know, what what you're comfortable with and what you're, you know, what's allowed to pass your line and what isn't in terms of compromise or a thumb no.
• 10:25
  SPEAKER_00: So scenario-based training is super important for that, so that kids understand if you are in this kind of scenario, what do you think you should do?
• 10:32
  SPEAKER_00: How do you feel?
• 10:33
  SPEAKER_00: What's right for you?
• 10:34
  SPEAKER_00: And it's funny, different students say different things to me when I'm doing things like that.
• 10:38
  SPEAKER_00: Like with, I don't know, it could be conflict management, and that could be with anyone, with like your friend or when you're older, with your boss, how you handle that.
• 10:47
  SPEAKER_00: It's um, yeah, it's uh setting the boundaries, it's personal, and they have to work it out for themselves.
• 10:53
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 10:54
  SPEAKER_01: And what and what age is the perfect age to sort of take on these type of type of courses or type of training?
• 11:00
  SPEAKER_00: Well, actually, for martial arts, this is traditional discipline um martial arts like karate, jujitsu, kickboxing, that sort of thing.
• 11:07
  SPEAKER_00: Um, statistics show it's five years old.
• 11:09
  SPEAKER_01: No way.
• 11:10
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, so I initially started Impulse for 11 years old.
• 11:14
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, because I started, I think my first martial art was Aikido.
• 11:17
  SPEAKER_00: I thought I was it was a it was 11 years old, but my mum recently told me I was nine.
• 11:21
  SPEAKER_00: So um I started it for girls at that age, that tween age, um, before you're a teenager.
• 11:28
  SPEAKER_00: I started my business for that age group, but now I've started teaching from six years old for boys and girls.
• 11:34
  SPEAKER_00: Um, so I think the younger the better.
• 11:36
  SPEAKER_00: But just to be clear on self-defense, it doesn't matter any age, everybody should know this.
• 11:40
  SPEAKER_01: And is there a real difference between the different types of self-defense?
• 11:43
  SPEAKER_01: What do you mean?
• 11:44
  SPEAKER_01: So you'd mentioned what did you say?
• 11:46
  SPEAKER_01: Taikido, no yes, i aikido.
• 11:48
  SPEAKER_00: Aikido, aikido, okay, and what's what are the differences between uh oh there's different ones.
• 11:54
  SPEAKER_00: So um there's no black belt in self-defense.
• 11:57
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 11:58
  SPEAKER_00: Um, because there are no rules in it.
• 12:00
  SPEAKER_00: So my black belts are kickboxing and taekwondo.
• 12:03
  SPEAKER_00: I've done training in Muay Thai, um jujitsu, krav magar.
• 12:06
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, you've spoken like Japanese to me.
• 12:08
  SPEAKER_00: So tell me tell me a little bit about each, all those different ones.
• 12:12
  SPEAKER_00: So um so kickboxing is where I'm my most confident.
• 12:15
  SPEAKER_00: It's very much on your feet, the keys in the name, kicking and boxing.
• 12:19
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and lots of sparring, lots of pad work.
• 12:22
  SPEAKER_00: And then from that, there's muua, which is a bit more aggressive, where you can use elbows and knees.
• 12:27
  SPEAKER_00: Jiu-jitsu is very much more uh ground-based, and there's lots of locks, there's lots of throws, same with judo.
• 12:35
  SPEAKER_00: Each martial art discipline kind of offers something different, and none of them are wrong, they're all fantastic.
• 12:40
  SPEAKER_00: Krav Megar, I find a bit more brutal, it's more eye gaoji, it's more, yeah, it's more what I consider to be a bit more realistic.
• 12:48
  SPEAKER_00: But each martial art discipline brings something different.
• 12:51
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but there are rules within each one.
• 12:53
  SPEAKER_00: So, like in Kickboxing, I wasn't allowed to elbow.
• 12:56
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, whereas in Muay Thai, you can.
• 12:58
  SPEAKER_00: So that's why you're set there and you look so gentle and so calm, and then you can like do this and I do that.
• 13:04
  SPEAKER_00: Don't fall out with you.
• 13:05
  SPEAKER_00: Well, it was it was a it starts obviously it always starts off as a hobby.
• 13:08
  SPEAKER_00: Like I wasn't really into run, I hate running.
• 13:11
  SPEAKER_00: And like, I don't know, netball wasn't really, yeah.
• 13:14
  SPEAKER_00: So it was always martial arts for me as as my fitness hobby, which kind of just grew and has got bigger and bigger and bigger.
• 13:21
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but yeah, with uh with self-defense, I use things from every discipline that I know because there is no right one right answer.
• 13:29
  SPEAKER_00: It could be because you don't know what's going to happen, so you have to be prepared.
• 13:33
  SPEAKER_00: So I take bits from each discipline and kind of mould it into into one, into impulse defence.
• 13:39
  SPEAKER_01: It's amazing.
• 13:40
  SPEAKER_01: That's obviously and when when um sort of students come to you, do you then take them on?
• 13:46
  SPEAKER_01: So they obviously do their self-defence course with you, but do they then go on to do um martial arts in some form after?
• 13:53
  SPEAKER_00: Well, a lot of my students they've been with me since day one.
• 13:56
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, um, because I started this a year and a half ago, um, and I've still got the same student, so it's role so I I do do specific courses for specially especially for those girls and boys now that are going to university.
• 14:07
  SPEAKER_00: So they're leaving Dubai, so they have a short, they've got two weeks before they leave.
• 14:11
  SPEAKER_00: So I develop courses for them.
• 14:13
  SPEAKER_00: But I I do weekly classes because, as I said, there isn't one right answer.
• 14:18
  SPEAKER_00: So if we're doing, I don't know, defense from a from a choke, there's there's the Krav Magar version, there's the jujitsu version, there's that version that I perhaps have used in real life that has got nothing to do with anything else I've learned, but it worked.
• 14:31
  SPEAKER_00: Um, there's all these different versions that you can do, so there isn't it's it's ongoing, it's not something that has an end date.
• 14:38
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, it is yeah, it leads on.
• 14:42
  SPEAKER_01: Um so our girls obviously, from being in Dubai, and we keep saying about the naivety and the the way they're brought up here, they've never had to learn how to read a room for danger.
• 14:53
  SPEAKER_01: How do you build that instinct?
• 14:56
  SPEAKER_00: So, as as you know, be your own hero is is my tagline.
• 15:00
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and a lot of that I I harp on a lot to my students, it's trusting your intuition, and it's hard to get intuition when you haven't been put in that situation.
• 15:10
  SPEAKER_00: So, a lot of it to start with is pattern recognition.
• 15:13
  SPEAKER_00: So that can come from recognizing behaviours, recognizing body language.
• 15:19
  SPEAKER_00: I use an example in my class, uh, you're from the UK as well.
• 15:22
  SPEAKER_00: You're in a bar in London, and you know when a fight's about to kick off.
• 15:27
  SPEAKER_00: You can you know it even before it's even happened.
• 15:29
  SPEAKER_00: And that's it could be because of the vibe, it could be because you've just got that feeling, your body tells you.
• 15:34
  SPEAKER_00: It could be that you've recognized that guy, he's stood a certain way, he's standing square on, his fists are like this, someone starts shouting.
• 15:42
  SPEAKER_00: You you can feel the escalation, and then you can then be make that decision of you know what, let's go sit outside, let's remove ourselves from this, or whatever your decision is at the time.
• 15:52
  SPEAKER_00: And again, that comes from experience, that comes from being in those situations.
• 15:56
  SPEAKER_00: So trusting your intuition is, I guess, trickier living here when you haven't really had to use it, but your body does give you warning signs.
• 16:06
  SPEAKER_00: There is that stress response, fight, flight, or freeze and fawn.
• 16:10
  SPEAKER_00: Um, where you need to uh it's a training thing, you have to learn to listen to it and when to act, when not to act.
• 16:18
  SPEAKER_00: Um, so again, it comes with training.
• 16:20
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I I always say too when I'm speaking to students, I always say your intuition is very rarely wrong.
• 16:25
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, if it's a lot of if you're looking at somebody, you you get a feel.
• 16:28
  SPEAKER_01: It doesn't matter how training.
• 16:31
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, and and trusting, and I think girls especially are told to you know stop overreacting, yes, and you know, don't make a scene, yeah, and be polite, and be and and it's it's hard, and that's a society thing, that's that's something that's global, it's not um specific to any one country.
• 16:48
  SPEAKER_00: Um, so kind of breaking that a little bit and being like, no, you I I also tell my students, you know, all the serial killer documentaries on Netflix.
• 16:59
  SPEAKER_00: Any survivor from anything will always, the the interview is always the same.
• 17:03
  SPEAKER_00: They'll always say, I felt like something was wrong.
• 17:05
  SPEAKER_00: It was it if it felt different, like he he was different that day, or he did something out of the ordinary and it didn't, and they always say something similar, and it's like that's that gut feeling where you felt like oh something wasn't quite right, but you just ignored it.
• 17:20
  SPEAKER_00: And sometimes, you know what, that's fine.
• 17:23
  SPEAKER_00: But better be safe than sorry.
• 17:25
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, but I think even when you meet your a friend for the first time or somebody you don't know, yeah, your your initial reaction is always the right one, and it might take a year or so before you've actually realized, but you finally get back there and you go, Yeah, yeah.
• 17:37
  SPEAKER_00: I knew that.
• 17:38
  SPEAKER_00: Very true, and again, like saying about the impulse being therapy for me, it's like I can think back to so many situations where I've met people and thought, oh, something off about them.
• 17:46
  SPEAKER_00: But carried on that relationship or whatever, and it all you're right, it comes back to being like, I knew it.
• 17:52
  SPEAKER_01: And it could be five years down the line, but you always come back to them and go, Yeah, I should have guessed that.
• 17:56
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, so um, so for a girl raised in the UAE, and I'm going to girls because I know it's girls we worry about most.
• 18:02
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, obviously, boys they could get on with their own life.
• 18:05
  SPEAKER_01: We're we're worried about girls at the moment because we're it's a girls' show today.
• 18:07
  SPEAKER_01: Um, a girl who raised a hand who is raised in the UAE and they land in university, and obviously Freshers Week is the first week, which is a culture shock of massive proportion for them.
• 18:19
  SPEAKER_00: What's the wake-up call?
• 18:21
  SPEAKER_00: Well, the first few weeks of university, yeah, you're usually your most vulnerable.
• 18:25
  SPEAKER_00: It's referred to as the red zone with law enforcement, um, and unfortunately that is where the higher amount of assaults and harassment happen.
• 18:32
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and for girls coming from the UAE, or I think from anywhere really, I think from my experience, so I'm from a countryside, seaside town, and I went to a big city up north, and I was still wearing boardies and my surf like beads, and I didn't care at that point.
• 18:51
  SPEAKER_00: I had I didn't uh have any of those sort of, you know, I should care about these things.
• 18:56
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but uh I think it's meeting people that don't possibly share the same experiences and the same values and the same morals as you do, um, and trying to find common ground with them.
• 19:08
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I think that's possibly the biggest shock where it's like everyone is from everywhere, everyone's got a different story, everyone enjoys doing different things, they talk differently, they yeah, have different experiences that might not align with yours, and you feel like a bit of an alien, where you're like, uh this is nothing like how it was for me growing up.
• 19:28
  SPEAKER_00: So I think that is the first culture shock, as well as as of course the things perhaps you're used to in Dubai.
• 19:34
  SPEAKER_00: That I mean it's very easy to live here, everything is, you know, I I'm doing this with as if I've got a phone in my hand.
• 19:42
  SPEAKER_00: Everything is quite easy to access and to get around.
• 19:45
  SPEAKER_00: And perhaps the university or the city that you're going to might not be set up the same way.
• 19:50
  SPEAKER_00: So you have to discover a lot of things that perhaps you wouldn't have to do here.
• 19:54
  SPEAKER_01: I think we're so lucky here.
• 19:55
  SPEAKER_01: You can leave your phone on the table or your bag on the table and come back an hour later and it's still there.
• 20:00
  SPEAKER_01: Of course.
• 20:00
  SPEAKER_00: Or the taxi driver might bring it back to you.
• 20:03
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, that would not happen elsewhere.
• 20:06
  SPEAKER_00: So yeah, I think um it's again, like you say, culture shock is different culture.
• 20:12
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 20:12
  SPEAKER_00: And that these kids have to ease their way in and get used to that um without, I guess, looking like an easy target.
• 20:19
  SPEAKER_00: And um, like you said, the vulnerable couple of weeks, sometimes months, sometimes the first year of uni.
• 20:26
  SPEAKER_00: I always tell my students that my A levels were harder than my first year at uni.
• 20:30
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 20:31
  SPEAKER_00: Because I think the first year of uni, you're just getting used to living in it, could be halls of residence, it could be a shared house, it could be on your own, whatever your situation is, but you're in a completely new place.
• 20:41
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, and you need to give yourself time to ease yourself in.
• 20:44
  SPEAKER_01: I think it's a new place with new people and no support network, and I think that's what's really hard because every single person is giving you all kinds of different vibes and feels, and just trying to learn those is so difficult.
• 20:56
  SPEAKER_00: It is, and you're right with that support system, and that's why it's so important for I think parents in the UAE whose kids are going abroad, that the child knows that they have that, even if it's just a phone call away.
• 21:10
  SPEAKER_00: Um because yeah, without that physical support network that you're used to, perhaps here in Dubai, it can you feel like an alien.
• 21:17
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 21:18
  SPEAKER_01: And if people were to get hold of you to jump on your courses, which obviously is a really good thing to do, um, highly recommended, how do we do that?
• 21:25
  SPEAKER_00: So the best way is through my website or through Instagram, I'd say.
• 21:29
  SPEAKER_00: Um so I that's impulse self-defense.
• 21:32
  SPEAKER_00: Impulse self-defense, okay.
• 21:33
  SPEAKER_01: And the last question, just to wrap up, it's a very quick one.
• 21:36
  SPEAKER_01: If you had to give one piece of advice to your seven-year-old self, everything you know today, what would it be?
• 21:42
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, my seven-year-old self.
• 21:45
  SPEAKER_00: Um I think the advice I'd give my seven-year-old self would be um you can always say no, you can always leave, don't have that guilt or shame.
• 21:57
  SPEAKER_00: Um, your your safety should come before anybody else's feelings.
• 22:02
  SPEAKER_01: Thank you so much.
• 22:03
  SPEAKER_01: It's been an absolute pleasure, Leah, and an inspiration, and I think such a useful uh product or service for everyone to join here.
• 22:11
  SPEAKER_01: So, thank you so much for joining us today.