Latest / What's Your (Least) Favorite Scary Movie? / #336: Cooties (2014)

Transcript

#336: Cooties (2014) · What's Your (Least) Favorite Scary Movie?

• 0:06
  Hello, what's your least favorite scary movie?
• 0:11
  Dual rear view Dual rear view welcome.
• 0:18
  Watch Your Least Every Scary Movie, The podcast where we talk
• 0:21
  about the good, the bad, the ugly and the absurd, and all of
• 0:24
  our favorite and least favorite scary movies.
• 0:26
  Because we believe every horror movie rightfully has is fanbase.
• 0:28
  Even we don't always get it. My name's Travis.
• 0:31
  My name's Jesse, and welcome back to another horror comedy.
• 0:35
  Yeah, we're out of order. Yes, we're out of order.
• 0:38
  And basically what happened was life happened.
• 0:41
  Lots of it. Yeah, it's some good, some bad.
• 0:44
  It just it it really fucked our schedule all the way off.
• 0:49
  So we're doing this live. I'm doing it live.
• 0:51
  Doing it live so if there's more pauses and and mouth sounds than
• 1:00
  usual, that's why. She looked at me when you said
• 1:04
  that. Well, guys, I did my best, OK?
• 1:07
  And. I'm going to declick it.
• 1:09
  It's going to still get declicked.
• 1:11
  OK, OK. And we're going to do to be or
• 1:13
  not to be this weekend. We, I mean, we watched the
• 1:17
  movie, we had it ready. It's zombie verse.
• 1:19
  Yeah. So now you actually have like a
• 1:20
  straight up heads up. Yeah, that'll be out on
• 1:22
  Saturday. We are keeping a zombie theme
• 1:26
  for multiple weeks in a row. Swear to God, we did not plan it
• 1:29
  out that way. That's just kind of what
• 1:31
  happened. Yeah, it's a little bit.
• 1:32
  I think it's really all your fault 'cause I threw out Cooties
• 1:35
  is one of the vote options before you came up with
• 1:38
  Zombieland 2 and then the To Be pick was also yours so you're
• 1:43
  never beating the allegations. I'm responsible.
• 1:46
  Do I take responsibility? No.
• 1:50
  Typical, yeah. Typical.
• 1:53
  Yeah, exactly. All right, but today we're going
• 1:56
  to talk about cooties and guess what?
• 1:59
  I had all of my notes written and then my fucking tablet
• 2:02
  closed out the window and it said, oh, it looks like you
• 2:04
  closed out the window. We just went ahead and deleted.
• 2:06
  Oh no. Which is the second time that
• 2:09
  has happened to me. I almost gave up.
• 2:12
  I was sitting on the couch, tell you, I was licking my foot.
• 2:14
  I was ready to just go lay down in bed.
• 2:16
  And I was just going to say we're not doing an episode this
• 2:19
  week. Damn, because it was almost over
• 2:21
  with. Yeah, it was.
• 2:22
  The show almost ended. Almost ended, but it's OK I've
• 2:26
  got I don't have a lot to go off of.
• 2:28
  As you can imagine, that really, really dampered my spirit.
• 2:33
  Yeah, I can imagine. Yeah, I'm sorry.
• 2:35
  But I have some. OK, I have some interesting
• 2:37
  stuff that I think you'll like. Cool, I'm ready.
• 2:39
  Cooties premiered on January 18th, 2014 at the Sundance Film
• 2:43
  Festival. It's wide release in the US was
• 2:46
  on September 18th, 2015. We watched it on Prime, but
• 2:49
  right now you can also watch it for free on To Be Pluto TV, Plex
• 2:54
  Prime, or if you have subscriptions that involve
• 2:58
  YouTube and YouTube TV, you can watch those there.
• 3:01
  You can also rent it from Apple TV, Google TV, or Fandango at
• 3:05
  home. This movie was written by Lee
• 3:08
  Whannell, Ian Brennan and Josh C Walker.
• 3:13
  Directed by Jonathan Millett and Terry Murnian.
• 3:18
  Music by Pepien Codron as Krang. Special effects makeup
• 3:24
  department head was Martin assholes.
• 3:26
  There were a lot of people involved with the hair and
• 3:28
  makeup, as you might imagine. Yeah, with this cast starring
• 3:34
  Elijah Wootz as Clint, he's. Probably the most expensive with
• 3:37
  the hair you got to get that swoop.
• 3:41
  Gotta get cut tight. That kind of ties into some of
• 3:44
  the fun facts. Doesn't really.
• 3:45
  Yeah, well, not his hair and definitely not not wigs.
• 3:51
  I don't. I don't know if we ever learned
• 3:53
  when he would wear wigs. Always.
• 3:55
  That's why he's got the most expensive makeup and hair
• 3:57
  department. I am 1000% positive that he grew
• 4:02
  out his own rat tail for I don't feel at home in this world
• 4:04
  anymore. I that sounds like a thing he
• 4:06
  would do for sure. OK, Rainn Wilson as Wade,
• 4:10
  Allison Pill as Lucy, Jack Mcbrayer as Tracy, Lee Whannell
• 4:16
  as Doug, Nassim Pedrad as Rebecca Morgan, Lily as Tamra,
• 4:20
  Armani Jackson as Calvin. And.
• 4:26
  Yeah, not Talia. Talia was not in this movie.
• 4:29
  I was not in it. This is what happens on your
• 4:32
  record live. Peter Kurong is Mr. Hitachi.
• 4:35
  OK, Yeah. Time for our favorite game on
• 4:37
  this show. Budget or bug Ted?
• 4:40
  Bug Ted. Yeah, I actually don't have the
• 4:44
  budget information for this. I mean, it's a good looking
• 4:47
  movie, but I mean, it's even got a pretty good cast.
• 4:51
  I just don't feel like it's $10 million.
• 4:53
  I will explain how it got the cast it got.
• 4:56
  Oh, really? Yeah, I'm curious, OK.
• 4:57
  Opening Box Office 33,000 Worldwide gross 485,000 IMDb
• 5:03
  score 5.7 out of 10. So I feel like I remember this
• 5:07
  was a straight to like, I don't think they did much of A
• 5:10
  theatrical release. If they did, it was extremely
• 5:12
  limited because I remember you and I watched this on release
• 5:15
  day because we were excited. Yes, we were so excited for
• 5:18
  Yeah, that was like, that was a red box moment.
• 5:21
  Yeah, that was before Red Box. We ran it on prime, did we?
• 5:24
  Yeah, I remember. I remember, yeah.
• 5:26
  Because I remember like, that was, that was still like a new
• 5:29
  concept at the time where you could, like, get movies directly
• 5:32
  to your house, like rent it. Like, holy shit.
• 5:35
  I was so excited to do that. It's so weird.
• 5:39
  OK, yeah, I'll take your word for.
• 5:40
  It. Yep, big moment.
• 5:43
  There was a theme in 2014. Oh yeah, and that theme calling
• 5:48
  Fuck them kids. Oh, OK.
• 5:50
  Because it's movies where fucked up things happen to kids.
• 5:55
  I like it. I like that.
• 5:56
  The first one is The Babadook, and here's the thing.
• 6:00
  That's why I wanted to specify where fucked up things happen to
• 6:03
  kids, because I will defend that boy in that movie with all my
• 6:07
  heart. Yeah, he's he's a lot, but
• 6:10
  there's a reason. For.
• 6:12
  That it's not, he's not just like an asshole.
• 6:14
  Yeah, like he he's got issues. So The Babadook released
• 6:19
  November 28th, 2014. Budget of 2 million, worldwide
• 6:23
  gross of 10 million, and an IMDb score of 6.8 out of 10.
• 6:27
  OK, not bad. 2nd movie Clown. I want to watch that movie.
• 6:33
  Yeah, I know this one on your list for a while that released
• 6:37
  it's very first premiere was in November 13th, 2014.
• 6:43
  Budget of 1.5 million, Worldwide gross of 4.3 million.
• 6:47
  IMDb score of 5.7 out of 10. OK, I mean, I hear a lot of
• 6:52
  people say it's a good clown movie, and I'm a sucker for a
• 6:54
  good clown movie. You indeed are.
• 6:55
  I'm a sucker for even bad ones. Yeah, third movie, Unfriended.
• 7:01
  Yep, fuck those kids. Those kids are all assholes they
• 7:03
  can get. Fucked.
• 7:04
  Yeah, they are assholes that I well.
• 7:07
  Except for Mitch. Mitch was an asshole.
• 7:09
  Mitch was. I think Mitch was probably.
• 7:11
  Yeah, Mitch was an asshole to himself by associating with
• 7:15
  those people. Yeah, he just didn't do himself
• 7:18
  any favors. Actually, in the kid that sticks
• 7:19
  his hand in the blender. I think he was OK.
• 7:22
  He was a he was a funny guy. He was a fun guy.
• 7:24
  He had to be like, listen, I'm not saying this to degrade him,
• 7:30
  but like the chubby kids always had to be.
• 7:32
  Funny, I know. Yeah.
• 7:34
  I know. So yeah, Unfriended, which we've
• 7:38
  talked about on the show with special guests, girls like us.
• 7:41
  Yeah. So you can go listen to us talk
• 7:44
  about that in more detail. Unfriended released July 20th,
• 7:48
  2014. Budget of 1,000,000.
• 7:50
  Worldwide gross of 62 million. IMDb Square 5.6 out of 10.
• 7:54
  That's a classic in this house. It absolutely is Taglines 4 OK,
• 8:01
  you have 4 good. You are what they eat.
• 8:05
  That's pretty good. Yeah, I like that.
• 8:07
  I like it too. I like to imagine that was a Lee
• 8:09
  pitch. I can see that.
• 8:13
  An infectious new comedy. That's pretty good too.
• 8:17
  Circle, circle, square, square. Now you have it everywhere.
• 8:21
  Oh, that's so good. That should have been the
• 8:25
  tagline right there. Yeah, I I like that.
• 8:29
  So that was always like the mean alternate to the Cootie shot in
• 8:32
  elementary school. I never, I never got that far
• 8:36
  with me. I always got my shot.
• 8:38
  Get vaccinated, people. 8 year old girls are mean.
• 8:42
  Yeah, I know. Please don't feed the children.
• 8:48
  That's pretty good too. I like that one too.
• 8:50
  It took me like a second to think on it and I liked it.
• 8:53
  OK, so this movie was shot in LA.
• 8:57
  Lionsgate actually funded the shoot for an alternate ending,
• 9:01
  and the alternate ending screen premiered.
• 9:04
  Other screening at the Stanley Film Festival and I just, I
• 9:10
  screenshotted it cause again, I lost the little live when I had
• 9:13
  to redo these notes. So it was at the end when you
• 9:18
  know, they've driven away and they're running out of gas.
• 9:21
  So they're walking on foot and eventually they find a deserted
• 9:24
  campsite. They're enjoying themselves.
• 9:27
  Clint throws his book in the fire, has this whole confession
• 9:30
  to Lucy. You know, everybody's getting
• 9:33
  along. Things are great and then he
• 9:37
  gets a strong feeling of dread and they find like a a troop
• 9:42
  leader. We find his dead body and then
• 9:46
  the scouts, led by the initial sick girl, Shelley.
• 9:51
  They are coming to get them, looking even worse than ever.
• 9:56
  So this is the alternate ending. Yes, OK.
• 9:59
  It sounds like it went on a long time.
• 10:01
  And so it's unknown what happened to everybody else, but
• 10:04
  then it comes to carnival music that's playing as 3 managers
• 10:08
  from an amusement park, a theater, and a family fun center
• 10:11
  respectively get chicken nugget boxes out of a truck carrying
• 10:15
  them. So the the ending to that
• 10:19
  afterwards was never shown. So it's just kind of like a
• 10:22
  suggestion that they were infected, but nobody ever
• 10:24
  actually knows for sure. Interesting.
• 10:27
  OK, well, I think I like the one we got better.
• 10:33
  It does end with them just driving away, right?
• 10:36
  Yeah. Yeah, I mean, that's OK too.
• 10:38
  I wonder why they didn't go with it.
• 10:41
  So I've got a little bit of information.
• 10:44
  So like I said that that Ultra ending premiere at the Stanley
• 10:49
  Film Festival and there's an interview with some of them at
• 10:53
  the Stanley Film Festival. So this is where I got some of
• 10:55
  this information from. So Spectra Vision, the
• 10:57
  production company for this is actually founded by Elijah Wood,
• 11:01
  Daniel Noah and Josh Walker. So one of the writers of the
• 11:06
  story, plus Elijah Wood, they developed this production
• 11:10
  company because they really wanted to work on horror movies.
• 11:12
  They wanted to produce indie horror movies.
• 11:14
  OK, that's cool. I respect that.
• 11:16
  And Lee Wannell, I guess friend of a friend type of situation.
• 11:20
  So the company, they were just kind of thrown around different
• 11:22
  ideas and one of them was cooties.
• 11:24
  Lee Whannell hears this and he's like, I've got to, I've
• 11:26
  absolutely got to be involved. And he gets Ian Brennan
• 11:28
  involved. Ian Brennan does a lot of shows
• 11:30
  with Ryan Murphy like Glee and Scream Queens and whatnot.
• 11:34
  And he was like, who else do you want riding a horror comedy
• 11:39
  about children infected zombie virus movie.
• 11:44
  Obviously the writer of Saw and Glee.
• 11:46
  Wait, so did Lee 1L write this too?
• 11:48
  Yeah, OK, I I just you said that in the beginning right?
• 11:51
  Yes, OK. That if.
• 11:53
  We were editing this. I'd tell you to roll back the
• 11:55
  tape. OK, that explains it again why
• 11:58
  he's acting also yes, but at the same time.
• 12:01
  His acting's a lot better. It is a lot better, so much
• 12:04
  better. But Jesse and I, just to repeat
• 12:07
  on a previous episode, we watched the commentary for Saw
• 12:10
  the first Saw. It's amazing.
• 12:12
  It's the commentary with Lee, 1L, James Wan and Carrie Ellis.
• 12:16
  Yeah, that dude is fucking funny.
• 12:18
  So funny. All three of them are funny,
• 12:20
  actually. I didn't expect Carrie always to
• 12:22
  have that kind of charisma, but he was actually really funny
• 12:25
  too. But James Wan and Lee Whannell
• 12:27
  surprised me. They were like really, really
• 12:29
  funny guys. So yeah, I'm, I'm happy that he
• 12:31
  had a chance to do a comedy, you know, because I don't think I've
• 12:34
  seen anything like that from him.
• 12:35
  Yeah, until now. And because he's Lee Whannell,
• 12:40
  obviously this is the type of movie with a low budget.
• 12:42
  He knows all about it. He's like, it's one location,
• 12:45
  it's one day. So you save money on wardrobe,
• 12:48
  you save money on set rentals, you save money on a lot of
• 12:53
  different things. Elijah Wood initially wasn't
• 12:57
  going to be in it. Really.
• 12:58
  Yeah. So kind of the opposite if we
• 13:01
  went well, where he's like writing, but he also wants to
• 13:04
  act. Yeah, which I totally get.
• 13:07
  That would be how I would. Be I get that as a writer.
• 13:09
  I get it also from I'm assuming what his situation is.
• 13:13
  Yeah, Elijah was just, he just wanted to produce the movies.
• 13:16
  Like he just wanted to see these movies get off the ground.
• 13:19
  This was in no way like a vanity project, but.
• 13:22
  He's an actor trying to do like, producing stuff now.
• 13:24
  Yeah, but what he said was basically like at the 11th hour,
• 13:28
  he decided to join in because it just seemed like so much fun.
• 13:31
  He was kind of like, fuck it, this seems like it's going to be
• 13:33
  summer camp and it's just going to be a good time.
• 13:34
  Isn't that funny? The 11th hour was like, I'll be
• 13:37
  the main character. It was a tough decision.
• 13:44
  They weren't, if they even had anybody cast.
• 13:47
  Yeah, I'm sure you would have known like in your research if
• 13:50
  that was. Yeah, well, the interview kind
• 13:52
  of went off the rails a little bit.
• 13:53
  It got a little bit like kids these days.
• 13:56
  So I was just, yeah, I kind of backed away from it after that,
• 14:00
  but I just thought that was really interesting.
• 14:02
  And I think that kind of speaks to like some of the budget
• 14:05
  questions you had. In terms of the cast.
• 14:08
  It seems like it was a lot of like, friends and people really
• 14:11
  into the whole indie horror thing.
• 14:13
  They did say Alison Pill was perfect for Lucy because they
• 14:16
  wanted somebody that's psychopathically positive and
• 14:20
  they said she played Lucy just right.
• 14:23
  She also plays psychopath well, like in Scott Pilgrim.
• 14:26
  Yes, also that she also plays married to psychopath really
• 14:30
  well, like in trap. That's her.
• 14:34
  We talked about this literally when we watched Jacooties.
• 14:38
  I stopped after you said Scott Pilgrim, and I was still
• 14:41
  processing that. Now I'm having to process that.
• 14:44
  Well, because then you argued with me about if her character
• 14:46
  was blonde or not in Scott. Pilgrim Because I was thinking.
• 14:49
  I thought. I was thinking who it was.
• 14:50
  I thought it was a blonde person.
• 14:52
  OK, OK, so this is cool. So that's all.
• 14:54
  Those are all my fun facts. Fun.
• 14:56
  I liked. It that's pretty good.
• 14:58
  Thought it was all pretty interesting.
• 15:00
  I agree. There were a lot of like video
• 15:03
  interviews that I didn't get a chance to watch, but they're out
• 15:07
  there. They're out there.
• 15:08
  Yeah, so we're gonna do our thing now I.
• 15:12
  Knowing that, like, when I was a really funny guy and knowing
• 15:14
  Elijah Wood is a really funny guy, and I'm sorry if I go on
• 15:18
  Elijah Woods, it's not because I don't know his name.
• 15:21
  It's just because of the fucking prank interview.
• 15:25
  Donovan Monahan. That's Stomach Monahan.
• 15:28
  Yeah. That's going to be a required
• 15:29
  viewing I'm. Just sorry.
• 15:31
  Like that is for this show. If you want to be a fan of the
• 15:33
  show, you have to watch that video.
• 15:34
  It's so fucking funny. I think Sarah Michelle Gellar
• 15:36
  recreated it with him for. I saw that promotion for Ready
• 15:40
  or Not. Yeah, OK.
• 15:42
  OK, so let's go on to our good that ugly and absurd, OK?
• 15:47
  Well, I Speaking of like the cast a lot.
• 15:52
  This is a really fun group of people that they got here.
• 15:54
  I I like that a lot of these people are in roles that you
• 15:57
  don't normally expect them to be in, like you got Rainn Wilson.
• 16:00
  He's the jock. The jock, gym coach, like the
• 16:04
  guy that, yeah, that guy. And he can't say Drew or.
• 16:08
  The rear wheel. See, that is the thing that has
• 16:10
  stuck with me since we watched this.
• 16:12
  It's I think, the single most relatable movie line I have ever
• 16:18
  heard in modern cinema. I yeah, But yeah, so this is our
• 16:22
  first time talking about him after he had done The Office.
• 16:25
  We talked about my house with 1000 Corpses, which was filmed
• 16:28
  before The Office. So now he's having a fight
• 16:31
  that's like that typecast that he has for himself.
• 16:34
  And it is really hard to not see Dwight whenever you watch him in
• 16:39
  anything. And I admit that when you first
• 16:42
  start watching this movie, he is Dwight.
• 16:45
  But I give him props. He comes into the role, He does
• 16:48
  a really good job with it. Eventually when?
• 16:50
  Yeah, once you accept that that's not Dwight, you're like,
• 16:53
  OK, you replace. The basketball with karate and
• 16:57
  you're there. Exactly.
• 16:58
  Yeah, but like, I love Lee Whannell's character.
• 17:02
  He's so fucking funny in this movie.
• 17:04
  I love that he wrote himself as an absolute psychopath.
• 17:09
  You know, he wrote that for himself.
• 17:10
  He's like, I'm playing this guy. Yeah.
• 17:13
  Absolutely. Absolutely.
• 17:14
  He's a guy that cannot have human conversations.
• 17:18
  So he's like actively reading a book on how to have like, legit
• 17:21
  conversations with people in the teachers lounge.
• 17:24
  And he's just this like, awkward.
• 17:25
  Person, he's just full of non sequiturs.
• 17:27
  Yeah, it's amazing. And he's like super
• 17:29
  inappropriate too. And it's just like.
• 17:32
  And his American accent is a lot more believable.
• 17:35
  Yeah, yeah, he's honestly, he's improved a lot, I think, And I'm
• 17:40
  not shitting on him as very fucking confused anymore than he
• 17:43
  shit on himself in the commentary.
• 17:46
  He's not bad in that movie, but The thing is, maybe he is better
• 17:50
  suited for comedic roles. Maybe.
• 17:53
  He's got a natural gift for him, and as we say on this show all
• 17:56
  the time, the line between horror and comedy is razor thin.
• 18:00
  Yeah. But aside from the funny bits
• 18:03
  and the good cast, I think that this movie actually manages to
• 18:06
  pull off some good zombie scenes too.
• 18:08
  Like it's an actual good zombie movie.
• 18:10
  And that's one of those things that when you start out, you're
• 18:12
  concerned which way they're going to lean.
• 18:14
  Are they going to try and be like just a comedy with some
• 18:17
  zombie sprinkled in or is it going to be like horror and they
• 18:21
  actually walk the line? Pretty perfect if you ask me.
• 18:24
  And I think it's really interesting because it could go
• 18:28
  so many ways with it being kids. I always like it when when a
• 18:31
  zombie movie is like, OK, what if it's a zombie outbreak?
• 18:35
  But but here. So we add in like for this one,
• 18:38
  it's Butt Kids and the Tubi we'll talk about this weekend,
• 18:42
  it's Butt Beavers. Yeah.
• 18:46
  Yeah, yeah. And then then something that I'm
• 18:48
  not going to spoil here because I did not know anything about
• 18:51
  the movie going into it. Was on Beavers.
• 18:53
  Yeah. So I'm not, I'm not going to say
• 18:55
  anymore, but it's. Not that deep of a movie.
• 18:59
  I know, but I still like I had a moment with it.
• 19:02
  OK, OK, it's fine. Anyway, having it be kids and
• 19:08
  treating it as cooties is like. Such a good.
• 19:11
  Idea It's such a like thing that we can all relate to when we
• 19:15
  were at that age, but also as an adult and having gotten sick off
• 19:21
  of the Petri dishes that are our nieces and nephews.
• 19:24
  So many times. Cooties are fucking real.
• 19:27
  And then the horror comes from how quickly these adults just
• 19:32
  were OK braining their students. Dude, they were looking for a
• 19:37
  reason. They're like, they've give me
• 19:40
  one goddamn reason not to bust you up.
• 19:43
  It is so dark. But it's funny, I think it has.
• 19:48
  To be, yeah. It's dark comedy.
• 19:50
  All this comedy works. Yeah, I, I feel like it's like,
• 19:53
  meant to be like, OK, like as soon as one kid scratches
• 19:56
  another kid on the playground, we're fucking killing them.
• 19:59
  That's that was where the line was drawn that day.
• 20:02
  Yeah, it it's just a lot I and I obviously like.
• 20:06
  I love this cast. I can go on about how much I
• 20:09
  love Elijah Wood. Travis can tell anytime Elijah
• 20:12
  Wood is on a screen because, like, I perk up, Yeah,
• 20:17
  immediately. He's.
• 20:18
  A He's a treasurer. Yeah, he's a good guy to watch.
• 20:21
  Naseem Pedrid, I think her last name is she She's she's got a
• 20:26
  connection to Ian Brennan because she was in the first
• 20:28
  season of Scream Queens. Yeah, yeah, she's Gigi.
• 20:31
  She did it well, too, yeah. Yeah.
• 20:33
  Gigi. Yeah, that 90s woman.
• 20:35
  Lucy Pill did a great job. I just, I, I think this, this
• 20:38
  movie has like all of the right boxes to check if you want a
• 20:43
  bunch of God damn weirdos and a art comedy.
• 20:47
  Yeah, and that's what this movie is.
• 20:49
  Yep. All right, bad.
• 20:53
  There's not a lot bad, I have to say.
• 20:55
  I guess I could probably do without the love triangle thing
• 20:58
  that's going on with. It's even hard to call it a love
• 21:01
  triangle thing. It's just like the romance.
• 21:03
  It's weird. Yeah, just like the romance part
• 21:06
  of this movie. You know, I could do without it.
• 21:08
  I could I could love it if they just were a teensy bit more soap
• 21:16
  operatic about it. I guess like.
• 21:20
  Because it's got some funny moments, like when they're on
• 21:21
  the radio between the basement and the library, and like Clint
• 21:26
  keeps cutting in and out. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 21:29
  It has. Its like, it's not terrible.
• 21:31
  And actually, it gives like Rainn Wilson, like one of his
• 21:34
  better moments as an actor when he's like, like talking about,
• 21:37
  like seeing her smiling with him and like the way that he
• 21:40
  delivered that he did it in such a heart wrenching way.
• 21:43
  You feel bad for him. And he's been kind of a Dick the
• 21:45
  whole movie. It made me think, you won't
• 21:48
  appreciate this because you've not seen it, but in Erin
• 21:50
  Brockovich, Erin Eckhart's character goes up to Julia
• 21:54
  Roberts's character and he's like, I bought you these
• 21:57
  earrings and I was like, next time Erin does something nice,
• 22:02
  I'm just going to give these to her because I think they look
• 22:04
  pretty on her Pretty Little ears.
• 22:06
  And he was like, that was six months ago.
• 22:08
  And he leaves them on the bed and then he just leaves.
• 22:12
  And that's what that moment made me think of.
• 22:14
  And I'm comparing Rainn Wilson to a fucking multi award
• 22:18
  nominated biopic drama type movie stuff.
• 22:23
  Yeah, I mean, he like, he really goes there with it.
• 22:25
  I'm impressed. You know, I kind of talked to
• 22:27
  myself out of it because look, I don't I I don't like that the
• 22:31
  way it went down for him because I feel really bad for him in
• 22:34
  this movie. But The thing is, he goes
• 22:36
  through such a he probably has the best character arc in the
• 22:39
  entire movie because he's like this asshole.
• 22:41
  And then he has this like, devastating thing happened to
• 22:43
  him. And then he has his redemption
• 22:45
  arc. And yeah, he could.
• 22:48
  He's secretly the lead. He was supposed to be the lead
• 22:51
  until Elijah Warner was like, I'm joining this movie too.
• 22:54
  Lee and Josh were you guys right like and and.
• 22:58
  Then Cliff was there and dated the his wife.
• 23:02
  Clint. What I said, Clint.
• 23:04
  You said Cliff. Jesse Quiff, you did.
• 23:06
  OK, it's gotta be Clint because otherwise it doesn't look like
• 23:08
  cunt when he writes it on the board.
• 23:10
  You're right. Either way, Elijah was like,
• 23:12
  yeah, and I totally go in and I totally still his girlfriend and
• 23:15
  I'll win the day. It's just like.
• 23:18
  OK, then, he adds it then. But also, I was never a cool
• 23:21
  writer in New York. Yeah, he's like, so.
• 23:24
  He's going to bounce it out a little bit.
• 23:25
  Yeah. It can't be a Mary Stu.
• 23:28
  Gary, Stu. So I I don't love the ending.
• 23:35
  You don't. I feel like it just.
• 23:37
  Kind of. It is kind of just an ending.
• 23:39
  I don't really. It's just like they didn't
• 23:40
  really have anywhere else to go with it.
• 23:42
  Yeah, it is kind of abrupt, but I don't think I would have liked
• 23:46
  what they had extra there either.
• 23:48
  Like they go to a place and they party for a little bit and then
• 23:51
  they find a girl like Girl Scout troop and that's it.
• 23:54
  Yeah. I don't know, it just like feels
• 23:56
  like OK, then they die. It just feels like maybe nobody
• 24:00
  really knew how to end this. I don't think they did.
• 24:02
  Yeah, I really don't. We're like, we're going to leave
• 24:04
  it ambiguous all the way around. Yeah, and I guess that's when,
• 24:09
  you know, they just like. And then that was it.
• 24:11
  They went somewhere. It's and that's that.
• 24:16
  The story that Braden told once of the Hulk.
• 24:19
  And then Hulk goes back home to his Hulk family and has Hulk
• 24:22
  dinner. Yeah, and that was after Travis
• 24:25
  led him in a series of about 5 questions where the response was
• 24:29
  Hulk smash. The final question being what
• 24:32
  happens when Hulk sees a spider is a Hulk takes spider outside,
• 24:37
  Hulk goes home it. Is just like dude, I was
• 24:42
  disappointed. And it was never the same again.
• 24:47
  I love that kid, but that was a. Relationship.
• 24:51
  Rocky moon. All right, let's see.
• 24:55
  What ugly. Ugly.
• 24:59
  The whole opening where we're seeing the process of the
• 25:03
  chicken being turned into chicken Nuggets, I just, I don't
• 25:06
  need to see that. I like chicken too much to have
• 25:09
  to watch that. It made me think of the training
• 25:12
  video at McDonald's. Did they show that?
• 25:16
  I don't think I'll watch that when I'm.
• 25:17
  Working on the chicken taste, My mom said when she worked at
• 25:20
  McDonald's, it was like an animated video of, like,
• 25:24
  sentient chicken Nuggets jumping into a fryer bucket.
• 25:28
  So, like, they were happy and willing.
• 25:29
  Yeah. So you don't.
• 25:30
  I don't know if I'd rather have that.
• 25:32
  I would like that better, no? I would like that better.
• 25:34
  The chicken are like willingly doing it and they're happy.
• 25:36
  They're like, we want this. That sounds like a cult type of
• 25:40
  thing. Like, yeah, no, no.
• 25:42
  These people, they're happy with what they're doing.
• 25:44
  They're sacrificing to the odd. Yeah.
• 25:46
  I mean, all right, OK. What's your ugly?
• 25:49
  My ugly man, I guess, I guess the kids that like are just so
• 25:58
  angry and upset. It makes me sad because they're
• 26:01
  not that just because they're assholes, they're assholes
• 26:04
  because they are young and the people around them have put them
• 26:08
  in an environment that made them assholes.
• 26:11
  So like, I don't know, like a nine year old isn't just going
• 26:16
  to wake up one day and going to be like, I feel like I'm going
• 26:18
  to be an asshole. I mean all kids do that to some
• 26:20
  extent, but like I'm talking about what the extent Patriot
• 26:23
  was. No, I get what you're saying.
• 26:26
  Yeah, some kids are just assholes.
• 26:28
  Some kids, yeah, but like, I just, there's several, many of
• 26:33
  them. And this is summer.
• 26:34
  School that episode of Angel where that kid just like to burn
• 26:37
  their fucking shit down and he was possessed and his sister was
• 26:40
  possessed by a demon. Who was a psychopath though?
• 26:44
  Yeah, like the demon was afraid of him.
• 26:46
  Yeah, I know. Like the demon was there and
• 26:48
  that wasn't that bad guy the. Demon was like the.
• 26:51
  Demon was in the sister, Yeah, like that kid was an asshole.
• 26:55
  I don't think that family taught him that shit.
• 26:56
  The demon didn't even teach him that shit.
• 26:58
  But. That was also like he, he was a
• 27:00
  psychopath. Like he had other things going
• 27:02
  on. I'm talking about psychopaths
• 27:04
  are assholes. Well, yes, but I'm just saying
• 27:06
  like these kids are young and I just, I refuse to believe that
• 27:10
  all of them are psychopaths have felt.
• 27:13
  We got birds. Really impressive right now.
• 27:16
  Yeah, this is a live episode. You can't be that distracted by
• 27:19
  birds. Zombies.
• 27:21
  OK. But yeah, it just, I, I feel
• 27:24
  like there's got to be like an element of home stuff going on
• 27:28
  probably. Impacting, unfortunately, yeah.
• 27:31
  And so it's ugly because it's sad and mirrors what happens to
• 27:35
  some kids in real life. Like so all.
• 27:37
  Right. Absurd.
• 27:38
  I just have all of Wee 1L's dialogue in this movie.
• 27:43
  He's just so fucking weird. His background for learning
• 27:47
  about the brain because he what got what is it encephalitis, The
• 27:54
  brain, the brain swelling. I know what you're talking
• 27:57
  about. I know what it's called though.
• 27:58
  So he wanted to learn as much as he could about the brain.
• 28:01
  So then he's doing these like bathroom autopsies.
• 28:05
  The fact that he's doing this, no gloves, but the fact that
• 28:09
  he's able to do that and everybody's just like trusting
• 28:12
  this guy. Like I wouldn't trust this guy.
• 28:15
  But they are like they're taking his word as fact.
• 28:19
  Like he's already, he actually at the end of the movie, he's
• 28:21
  like, I can make a cure. Like you can make a cure, dude.
• 28:25
  Like are you a fucking teacher? And you're, you're, you could be
• 28:28
  doing that. At some point, I feel like you
• 28:29
  have to imagine that this day isn't really happening to you.
• 28:32
  So you're just like, yeah, sure, Doug.
• 28:35
  Go, Yeah, I guess take your chances.
• 28:37
  Yeah, you know, whatever. Like he was.
• 28:39
  He said it in a convincing way too, so it's harder to question
• 28:43
  it. But yeah, that's my absurd.
• 28:47
  My absurd. I guess I don't really have a
• 28:54
  good absurd. Other.
• 28:56
  Than like most of the movie, I I guess Clint, this is more like
• 29:01
  cringy than absurd, but him trying to get the kids to read
• 29:06
  the first chapter, yeah. I was like, dude, really?
• 29:09
  That's what your first lesson's going to be.
• 29:11
  Although I do love the name of his book, Kill Them All.
• 29:18
  Oh my God. Everybody else grown.
• 29:21
  But I was like, no, it's great. His book is If you're writing a.
• 29:23
  Book that's like kind of Christine esque.
• 29:28
  Yeah. And then I started fighting with
• 29:31
  the TV because Wade was like, oh, so that's just basically it.
• 29:36
  It's a boat that possesses you. So it's just Christine but on
• 29:39
  the water. And I was like, well,
• 29:41
  technically or no, it's a possessed boat.
• 29:43
  So it's just Christine on the water.
• 29:44
  I was like, well, technically the boat, the car possesses you
• 29:47
  and Christine and Travis is like somebody only watched the.
• 29:50
  Movie, it's true. It's different.
• 29:53
  Yeah. So I guess that.
• 29:55
  Yeah, OK. That works OK all.
• 29:59
  Right, we gotta rate this. Still, we rate I'd give this 8
• 30:03
  1/2. 8 1/2. Yeah, I like this.
• 30:06
  I'd give it an 8. OK, it was a lot better than I
• 30:08
  remembered. 8.25 is our starting average.
• 30:12
  OK cool. I am very happy we watched this
• 30:14
  again. I'm not ready to talk about it
• 30:15
  all. Right, me too.
• 30:16
  Let's do it. We have a monochrome chicken
• 30:19
  coop. Monochrome in the opening of the
• 30:22
  movie is never good. No, if it's.
• 30:24
  Not the 1950s. Yeah, it's, it's upsetting.
• 30:27
  I don't like it. A man kills 1, drops it in the
• 30:30
  processor and we get into a Nagy making montage which ends at a
• 30:35
  very gross school lunch. This reminded me so much of the
• 30:39
  intro to Cabin Fever 2 with the water bottle.
• 30:43
  Yeah, that one was all animated. What if Party Cop showed up at
• 30:49
  the end of this movie? Oh my God, party cop and me one
• 30:52
  L. Can I call it now dream sequel?
• 30:54
  Yeah, I like that. Yep, there we go.
• 30:56
  Perfect. Perfect.
• 30:58
  All right, OK, so yeah, the little girl in the school
• 31:01
  cafeteria eating her nuggie is really gross looking inside.
• 31:05
  It is like it's. On white meat it's like brown,
• 31:09
  almost like it's got a bruise. Yeah, it's a color that your
• 31:12
  food shouldn't be. Yeah.
• 31:15
  The PE teacher which is suede, yes.
• 31:19
  OK, he parks. Wait, wait.
• 31:22
  You were jumping so. Far.
• 31:24
  Ahead, we got to have Kate Flannery absolutely owning.
• 31:28
  I went spoke out of her son. 'S I went down the whole line.
• 31:31
  You're right. OK, my bad.
• 31:33
  You take the. Leaf OK, so an alarm clock radio
• 31:35
  goes off. And it's the worst thing about a
• 31:39
  radio alarm clock is that sometimes you get the morning
• 31:42
  report instead of music, which is what happens here.
• 31:45
  And we hear vaguely about a chicken recall, You know, no,
• 31:49
  this town probably has to smell bad.
• 31:51
  It's chief money making thing. Chief business.
• 31:59
  No, there's a word for it anyway.
• 32:01
  No. Anyway, it's whole thing is
• 32:03
  chicken. It's called Fort Chicken.
• 32:06
  There's no way this whole town doesn't smell like absolute
• 32:09
  shit. Yeah, yeah.
• 32:12
  It's, it's like our place. We have a Jif peanut butter
• 32:16
  plant and that makes a whole town smell like peanut butter.
• 32:19
  Yeah, if you don't have a peanut allergy and you have the chance
• 32:22
  to live near a peanut roasting plant, pretty awesome.
• 32:24
  I would absolutely recommend that much.
• 32:26
  Prefer that to chicken. It's amazing.
• 32:28
  Sometimes it makes driving to work in the mornings.
• 32:30
  Yes, amazing. It's.
• 32:31
  Always a nice surprise, right? Thank you.
• 32:34
  But yeah, so they're talking about there's a chicken recall,
• 32:38
  but it's only like some batches. So it's just in the Nuggets.
• 32:43
  His mom comes in, Clint's mom comes in and wakes him up, and
• 32:46
  he asks about the manuscript. And she's like, oh, I thought it
• 32:51
  was good. You know, I really liked the
• 32:53
  characters in the story. Goes, mom, I'm not going to get
• 32:56
  better if you don't give me honest feedback.
• 32:57
  She goes, OK, well I actually didn't understand what was
• 33:00
  happening or why they were doing it and what was.
• 33:03
  Going. On none of the characters were
• 33:05
  likable and like he's just dying inside the whole time he gets
• 33:12
  gross and then he's going to go to summer school I.
• 33:15
  Love this part where he's recording to himself like the
• 33:18
  opening line in the book right there.
• 33:20
  What was it like? The book was evil, but he was OK
• 33:24
  with. It boat the boat.
• 33:25
  The boat was evil, but he was OK.
• 33:28
  You're writing the book about him writing the.
• 33:29
  Book I am, yeah. Can I tell you something?
• 33:32
  When I was in elementary school and I wanted to be a writer, I
• 33:36
  also had a tape recorder. Absolutely I did.
• 33:40
  I would have loved to know. Absolutely I did I It's no
• 33:44
  surprise that I wound up with a podcast.
• 33:46
  Oh wow. Yep.
• 33:48
  Was it about an evil boat? I don't remember what it was
• 33:52
  that I was writing about because I would lose attention so
• 33:56
  quickly and then I would like start recording myself singing
• 34:00
  and. Yeah, after recording is like
• 34:02
  your initial idea and then you get distracted halfway through.
• 34:06
  All right, so he arrives at school, he's got this is the
• 34:11
  thing. That's true.
• 34:12
  He's got a beat up P or not. Prius.
• 34:15
  Prius. That is so fucking true.
• 34:17
  Every Prius owner I've ever known has had a beaten up to
• 34:20
  that point. 'Cause if you get a Prius
• 34:23
  especially like like when they were newer, you were like really
• 34:28
  caring about the environment and what not, which means you also
• 34:31
  drive the vehicle until it's completely undrivable.
• 34:33
  Which in his case means the back windows held together by
• 34:37
  packaging. Just tape and the brake lights
• 34:40
  are out, I think. Yeah, Yep.
• 34:43
  So he pulls in parking lot, but then a big old truck parks right
• 34:47
  next soon. There were so many other spots,
• 34:50
  too. He didn't have to do this.
• 34:53
  He wanted to. He wanted.
• 34:54
  It's intentional. Yep, and he blocks them in so
• 34:57
  Clint can't get out, so he has to climb through the passenger
• 35:01
  window because the other car is also really close to him.
• 35:03
  So. Yeah, he yeah, he climbs out
• 35:05
  through the trunk. Oh yeah, the trunk.
• 35:06
  Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's it.
• 35:07
  Yeah, so let's see. He is covering for Mrs. Kenner,
• 35:14
  who is supposedly pregnant. They're like, well, she either
• 35:18
  has the flu or she's pregnant, but she's Mormon, so she's
• 35:21
  probably pregnant. Could be both.
• 35:24
  And then he is in the teacher's lounge and he runs into Lucy,
• 35:28
  who introduces her to Wade, who is the truck owner.
• 35:34
  In the corner. We have Doug reading How to Have
• 35:36
  a Normal Conversation. That's the actual title of the
• 35:39
  book. He's staking it out.
• 35:40
  He's like, this is my chance, like he's over there waiting for
• 35:43
  a conversation to jump into. OK, so you know, in the Series
• 35:46
  of Unfortunate Events, some of the additions there would be
• 35:49
  like a dust cover over the books.
• 35:53
  That way it would look like a happier book.
• 35:54
  And then you take the dust cover off.
• 35:57
  I imagine that whoever wrote this book had a dust cover of
• 36:01
  like a different book title because it's just like black
• 36:05
  text on a bare red cover. How to have a normal
• 36:10
  conversation. It is as off putting as the rest
• 36:16
  of Doug's character. I just imagine he saw the dust
• 36:18
  cover and he's like, oh, this title doesn't match.
• 36:20
  Yeah, Yoink. It's so fucking funny.
• 36:24
  I can't even remember what he says here either.
• 36:29
  Does he jump in right here? I think he does.
• 36:31
  I don't remember exactly what he says cuz I got distracted with
• 36:34
  Wade saying that the book sounded like Christine or Speed
• 36:37
  2. Speed two, Yeah, need to watch
• 36:40
  speed one. So the kids are making fun of
• 36:44
  the sick girl, Shelly. They're just like teasing her.
• 36:46
  She looks really gross. And they're like, you look so
• 36:49
  gross. You look like a butthole's
• 36:51
  butthole, which is mean but funny.
• 36:55
  It is, but Pan, you don't wanna reward that.
• 36:59
  Don't give him a laugh. Yeah, I'm I'm not giving him a
• 37:02
  laugh. I said it was funny.
• 37:04
  Little. Asshole.
• 37:05
  Yeah. So Clint, he comes in and he
• 37:08
  introduces himself to the class and then he's like, hey, I'm,
• 37:12
  you can call me Clint. Or as he writes it.
• 37:15
  He he puts the L in the I too close together so it looks like
• 37:18
  his name is Cunt because he does it All in all caps, which is a
• 37:21
  mistake. And this is how This is why I
• 37:24
  don't believe that he was a teacher before this, because
• 37:28
  there's no way. There's no way he wouldn't know
• 37:30
  what kids are like. No, I know.
• 37:32
  Yeah, maybe he know like me. Patriot is like that unique type
• 37:36
  of asshole because he's the one they called him out on that
• 37:38
  there. So Patriot was born on 9/11,
• 37:42
  which is why he's named Patriot. So I think he's got one up on
• 37:45
  John Wolf, who was conceived to the hour on 9/11.
• 37:51
  What is that reference? To America's Next Top Model.
• 37:54
  It's a contestant said that. To the hour.
• 37:58
  She is like, what is that like? The second the plane hit like
• 38:02
  that happened. That's so weird.
• 38:05
  I don't. Know entire CCS have been
• 38:07
  written about that moment on Reddit like it's.
• 38:11
  It's it goes deep, OK. It's such a dreamy way that she
• 38:14
  says it too. I need to know more.
• 38:17
  Let's talk after this. OK, so Clint is like, OK, hey,
• 38:28
  I've got a lesson for you guys. I'm going to give you guys,
• 38:31
  everybody, my first draft of my book.
• 38:33
  He's like, I'm a horror writer. That's really cool, right?
• 38:36
  I'm cool. Call me by my first name, read
• 38:40
  my book. We're not.
• 38:41
  Can we feel like those other teachers?
• 38:43
  It's so embarrassing. Yep.
• 38:44
  So he calls a kid up to start reading.
• 38:47
  And it's Calvin. I kind of like Calvin.
• 38:49
  I don't know what he's doing in summer school cuz he seems like
• 38:52
  a sweet little kid who does his homework.
• 38:54
  Yeah, I don't know, like cuz when they all go out to recess,
• 38:57
  he's in the library studying. And he's up there reading it.
• 39:01
  Meanwhile, the kids are still picking on the little girl.
• 39:04
  Shelly, Shelly Patriot pulls her ponytail and it just comes off
• 39:11
  and she turns around and bites his face.
• 39:15
  Fair. Yeah.
• 39:17
  You pull one of my pigtails off, expect a face bait, a face bite
• 39:22
  retaliation. Yeah.
• 39:23
  Yeah, it's going down. It's going down and she runs
• 39:27
  away. Patriots bleeding.
• 39:29
  So, Clint. He's got a big gash on his face.
• 39:32
  Clint takes it to the nurse's office and the nurse is like he
• 39:36
  needs to go to the ER, he needs stitches and Clint's like good
• 39:40
  bye. You can.
• 39:41
  You can take it, right Patriot? You're you're a Marine.
• 39:46
  Patriot's friend, who I believe based on the IMDB's name is.
• 39:51
  Dink, dink. Dink OK, He confronts Shelly on
• 39:56
  the playground while the where the rest of them are at on
• 39:58
  recess and she attacks him. And so like an attack is going
• 40:03
  on, Wade is the recess monitor. But the problem with Wade being
• 40:08
  the recess monitor is Wade is one of those guys that when he
• 40:11
  sees a basketball hoop, has to compulsively shoot a basketball.
• 40:15
  Hooper's got a hoop. He's a Hooper.
• 40:17
  He's hooping. And so like, the kids are
• 40:21
  getting more and more infected and he is just shooting.
• 40:26
  We've got Clinton, Lucy talking. And Lucy's like, oh, my God, is
• 40:30
  Shelly in trouble? Did she at least could like, not
• 40:33
  go to recess? And Clint's like, I wanted to
• 40:35
  give her a medal. Like, you know, they're just
• 40:37
  sitting around chatting, talking.
• 40:39
  He says he's sorry that he called wait a Dick earlier
• 40:41
  because he didn't realize that was her boyfriend.
• 40:44
  And. Then meanwhile, the dog comes
• 40:49
  over and he's like, oh look, mutiny or something like that,
• 40:52
  just like points outside to the window and he like all the
• 40:55
  zombie children are out there surrounding Wade now.
• 40:58
  And Wade makes a run for it, gets away, gets inside the
• 41:02
  building. Yes, the what?
• 41:12
  OK, So what? Is this word?
• 41:15
  What? What?
• 41:15
  What is it? Syndrons what?
• 41:24
  Are you, I don't know, are you talking about the traffic stop
• 41:27
  guy? Because like that we have this,
• 41:28
  we didn't even talk about this, but the guy from Los is kind of
• 41:32
  just in this movie for a little while too.
• 41:34
  He's this guy. He's.
• 41:35
  Just there to get high in his van.
• 41:37
  He's the crosswalk guy. Somebody it's somebody goes out
• 41:41
  and gets ripped apart. Oh, it's the principal.
• 41:45
  Principal Vice Principal Simmons.
• 41:47
  Yeah. Synonyms Simmons.
• 41:50
  Gorgeous. There you go.
• 41:53
  I did not write Simmons. I wrote Cinnamons.
• 41:57
  Cinnamons. Yeah, you guys, I bought a
• 42:03
  handwriting book all right? Once.
• 42:06
  Once my handwriting is legible, it's over for all y'all bitches
• 42:12
  OK? Yeah, he gets absolutely
• 42:14
  destroyed out there, which is when Wade runs inside because I
• 42:18
  guess the guy offered himself unintentionally a sacrifice.
• 42:22
  Yeah, I was a little bit sad because his performance was
• 42:24
  funny, but then when I was looking him up, I was like, oh,
• 42:26
  he's like 95% writer and producer.
• 42:30
  He does not want to be on the screen.
• 42:32
  Yeah, I think maybe Elijah would just meet everybody else who
• 42:35
  helped, like write and produce. He's like, Nope, you got to, you
• 42:38
  got to come on skiing too, otherwise I look like an
• 42:40
  asshole. OK, so let's see.
• 42:45
  The nurse is dead, the teachers are watching the playground from
• 42:48
  the lounge and a copper eyes. Oh, it's Badger.
• 42:51
  From Breaking Bad and they're like yay he will surely save the
• 42:55
  day and what he does because he is a grown up cop and these are
• 43:02
  9 year olds. He's got his hand through the
• 43:04
  chain link and he's like you kids need to stop and they bite
• 43:08
  his fingers off. Yep.
• 43:10
  So he runs back into his cop car, starts to drive away, but
• 43:14
  oh, there is a kid in there and gets killed.
• 43:17
  Yep. Wade tries to go out of the
• 43:21
  lounge, but Patriot attacks everybody.
• 43:25
  He's made it into the building and he makes it into the lounge.
• 43:27
  So he's like attacking them in the lounge and they end up
• 43:31
  opening a cabinet and he attacks an unnamed teacher who none of
• 43:35
  them know who she is. They're like, who is that?
• 43:37
  I don't know. And like they close them both in
• 43:39
  the cabinet and like we should help her.
• 43:41
  And then like the scream stop and they're like just like.
• 43:43
  Nah Nah, sacrifice. So as a group, they're moving
• 43:47
  through the school and they get to the library.
• 43:49
  Calvin's there, but he's not sick.
• 43:52
  He's just been a good little boy and he's just doing his
• 43:56
  homework. He's studying for his test.
• 43:57
  It says kids got cooties. Yeah, which he is correct.
• 44:01
  They have cooties. So they take him with them and
• 44:06
  they go to the music room next and they're trying to figure out
• 44:09
  what it is. As you said before, he said it
• 44:11
  was cooties. Doug agrees and they're like,
• 44:14
  OK, Doug, you're being weird. He goes no, cuz like it's like
• 44:17
  it's a virus. And that's what viruses are.
• 44:20
  They're like cooties. Also at this time, I think Clint
• 44:22
  has thrown up. Yes, and they discover that he
• 44:27
  has been scratched. Yes, yeah.
• 44:29
  So. So they quarantine him.
• 44:31
  Yeah, cuz he's been infected, Yes and but Doug comments that
• 44:35
  it's not affecting him like the children essentially.
• 44:39
  They will get to that in a minute.
• 44:40
  Oh, that hasn't happened. Yet.
• 44:42
  OK, Yeah, Wade is starting to suggest they run at the kids and
• 44:45
  they can use the various instruments in the music room as
• 44:47
  weapons, which I would have loved to see that.
• 44:50
  But also from a budgetary aspect, I can see why they
• 44:53
  didn't want to destroy a bunch of instruments.
• 44:55
  Yeah, Wade and Clint fight before he goes into quarantine,
• 45:01
  by the way. And I just need to point out
• 45:03
  this moment because Wade called The Hobbit.
• 45:05
  He does, yeah. And like, he looks kind of like,
• 45:09
  surprised by that. So the Clint is wanting to go
• 45:12
  for the phones and as he's like they're arguing about the phones
• 45:19
  because this is a phone free school.
• 45:20
  So the principal took all of their phones and hasn't locked
• 45:23
  up in the office. And he's like, Oh my God, that's
• 45:26
  it. And he's like, what?
• 45:28
  He pulls out his little tape recorder.
• 45:29
  He goes, oh, it's just, you know why they, my characters didn't
• 45:33
  call for help and kill them all? Like your book is called kill
• 45:36
  them all. And so they're they're arguing
• 45:39
  and Lucy ends up vetoing both their plans and says that they
• 45:44
  just need to wait until the 3:00 pick up because that's when all
• 45:49
  the adults are going to come in and they will shout for help
• 45:51
  from the roof. Doug followed.
• 45:55
  This is where they put Clinton to quarantine as the rest of
• 45:57
  them go upstairs. Doug follows Clint because he
• 45:59
  wants to kind of observe him. And then he comes out and tells
• 46:04
  the group that he's affected, that the symptoms seem to be
• 46:08
  different, more flu like. And it's his hypothesis that
• 46:13
  this is because he's an adult. Yeah, so.
• 46:16
  We'll get more data on that later.
• 46:19
  OK, OK. So.
• 46:21
  OK, they quarantine him and then he is they go up to the roof.
• 46:27
  Yes, and they're watching recess and we have this.
• 46:33
  We have a slow motion recess montage with a horrifying
• 46:39
  musical piece that I referred to as Calliope Jazz.
• 46:44
  Calliope Jazz. Which is a phrase I hope I never
• 46:49
  have to use again. I don't see it ever happening
• 46:53
  again. I hope not.
• 46:55
  I hope not. Sorry Krang, you did a really
• 46:57
  good job with this composition and it's terrible and I hate it
• 47:01
  because I love khalifi music and I hate jazz and I I you can't,
• 47:06
  you can't mix jazz into other things and make it better.
• 47:09
  You just make the other things worse.
• 47:13
  That's a fairpoint. All right, so there's a mom, she
• 47:16
  arrives, and there's one kid out on the.
• 47:19
  Bench. She's the head of the PTA.
• 47:20
  Because they were. They're like, she's always going
• 47:22
  to be here early. She's the head of the PTA.
• 47:24
  She's waiting for her kid. She's sitting on the bed, Racer.
• 47:28
  Yes. And she's got a little baby in
• 47:30
  the backseat. Yeah.
• 47:31
  She's on the phone. She's arguing with somebody
• 47:32
  about something. She's not paying attention to
• 47:34
  Racer. Racer gets in the car and Racer
• 47:38
  just fucking attacks a baby. And I thought that they were
• 47:41
  gonna like, straight up kill the baby.
• 47:43
  I mean, they kind of did. But like, the baby turns into a
• 47:45
  zombie. Yeah, but they destroy the mom.
• 47:48
  Yes, the it's it's pretty bad. Yeah, it's crazy.
• 47:53
  And then one of the teachers, they're getting attacked because
• 47:57
  the kids have realized they can climb the tree and get onto the
• 47:59
  roof. There's no way that non zombie
• 48:02
  version of kids didn't figure this out at some point.
• 48:04
  There, there was a kid there because the kid was hanging off
• 48:07
  there and they're pulling her up there.
• 48:10
  Oh yeah, the uninfected 1 camera.
• 48:12
  Yeah, she's hanging right there, so they're having to pull her in
• 48:14
  real quick. Yeah, and then the others are
• 48:16
  like climbing up there. No, I'm just saying before the
• 48:18
  zombie outbreak. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, I got.
• 48:21
  You like, there's no way that that hadn't become such a hazard
• 48:24
  that somebody got the tree cut down.
• 48:26
  Yeah. For sure.
• 48:27
  Yeah. OK, so they all make it back
• 48:30
  into the music room and. They end up going to the
• 48:35
  auditorium. Dink grabs Doug.
• 48:39
  Wade kills him. Tamra is not sick, but she does
• 48:43
  have a scratch. They notice Dink's blood is
• 48:48
  black. Doug wants to dissect him, so
• 48:52
  these are all pieces of information that he's now going
• 48:54
  to be working with. We hear on the radio reports of
• 48:57
  the attacks, and then the DJ is also being attacked on air.
• 49:01
  Such a trope in horror movies, but I kind of love it.
• 49:03
  I like it too because I'm like, OK, cool.
• 49:05
  Now we know that the attack has gotten so bad that it's not just
• 49:08
  our main characters. It's all over town.
• 49:10
  So this is where we have the big moment between Lucy and Wade.
• 49:14
  Wade, he is really shooken up from braining a fucking child,
• 49:18
  Yes. So he's just kind of like goes
• 49:20
  off into the other room with the closet.
• 49:22
  Yeah, it's existential in a way. Yeah.
• 49:26
  That it should be. Yeah, yeah, it's fair.
• 49:29
  You have to have these kinds of moments in the dark comedy like
• 49:31
  this too, to balance it out a little bit.
• 49:33
  I think I. Give him this time so we'll see.
• 49:36
  Decides to go talk to him and it's not a pleasant conversation
• 49:41
  so he basically tells her that she doesn't love him anymore.
• 49:46
  She's in love with Clint and he is really upset with the way
• 49:51
  that she looked whenever she well, she thought he thought she
• 49:56
  was pretty when she was smiling at Clint and he's sad that he
• 50:00
  never sees her smile like that. It's really harsh.
• 50:05
  He says he'd bought her a ring yesterday, which I feel like
• 50:08
  would be more impactful if we had ever seen them.
• 50:11
  Happy. Happy as a couple, yeah.
• 50:14
  Yeah, yeah. And it's kind of weird.
• 50:18
  Like, they kind of just ended there.
• 50:21
  Yeah. So like, yeah, I don't fucking
• 50:23
  know. But Doug is ready to present his
• 50:26
  findings. He says that there there is.
• 50:31
  The grey and white matter inside of the brain is gone.
• 50:34
  Necrotic. Tamra.
• 50:37
  She's been scratched, she says. Tamra, have you had your menses?
• 50:42
  And she's off screen, but you can see this girl's face.
• 50:46
  Yeah. And then, yeah, this is when
• 50:48
  like, it's always the weird ones.
• 50:51
  Yeah. Then she's like, sweetie, have
• 50:52
  you gotten your period? And he's like, upset.
• 50:56
  He's like, I taught you biology. I know you know that term.
• 50:58
  Yeah, you you shouldn't. It's not, it's not the not
• 51:00
  knowing the term Doug. It's.
• 51:02
  Just the way you. Your biology teacher asking you
• 51:06
  that in front of Yeah, come on. Man, don't do that.
• 51:09
  As he's dissecting your classmates.
• 51:12
  He's like excited too. So OK, yeah, he presents his
• 51:16
  findings, but based off of that evidence right there, it's just
• 51:19
  because if you don't hit puberty, you don't like.
• 51:22
  If you hit, you become a zombie if you haven't hit puberty.
• 51:25
  Yes, he says that the virus is only dangerous if you're
• 51:28
  prepubescent. He says a lot of things about
• 51:32
  hormones in the brain receptor and this and that, and I really
• 51:37
  would love to know how much of that Lee 1L actually like looked
• 51:41
  up and studied versus how much of it was just like a lot of
• 51:43
  words that if you say really fast and convincingly.
• 51:46
  Remember when good when they were writing saw they actually
• 51:49
  like called a doctor to try and like ask how somebody could like
• 51:55
  how much of A dosage it would take for them to have like a
• 51:57
  steady heartbeat of something? And the doctor was super
• 52:00
  uncomfortable with answering that question.
• 52:02
  So maybe the same thing happened.
• 52:03
  Stephen King give shout outs like that.
• 52:05
  He's got a neighbor that was or he had a neighbor at one point
• 52:07
  that was a doctor. And so he'd ask him questions
• 52:10
  like that all the time when he gives them, like shout outs and
• 52:12
  the acknowledge and such. That's cool.
• 52:13
  That's really cool. But yeah, if I was a doctor and
• 52:17
  I was being consulted for a movie, I might fuck with them a
• 52:21
  little bit, yeah. And then they'd.
• 52:23
  Be like, we'll give you an acknowledgement.
• 52:25
  And the girls. No, that's OK.
• 52:26
  I don't need that. Yeah, just knowing that I helped
• 52:29
  make the movie is good. Yeah, I give them like a fake
• 52:32
  name. Yeah, Doctor.
• 52:38
  Pepperoni. Pepperoni.
• 52:41
  I like. Pepperoni.
• 52:44
  All right, so hey, Calvin's having like some diabetes.
• 52:49
  Problem. Yeah, he's.
• 52:50
  Having some kind of crash, so they're like, hey, we got to get
• 52:54
  him something sweet to eat. Yeah, I can't believe none of
• 52:57
  these classrooms have like any sweets hidden in a desk.
• 53:01
  Yeah, you would think. Yeah.
• 53:03
  Well, 'cause they're saying like, 'cause his medication is
• 53:05
  in the nurse's office, which is obviously been attacked by the
• 53:08
  students, so they're like, well, we need to get him sugar or
• 53:10
  something. So they're trying to figure that
• 53:15
  out. Patriot has cut the lights.
• 53:17
  So I like how these kid zombies are still smart zombies.
• 53:20
  Yeah, Yeah. And I think it kind of leads
• 53:22
  back into that whole like these kids being.
• 53:26
  Assholes. I was going to say a wise and
• 53:28
  experienced beyond their years. Well, not wise beyond their
• 53:31
  years, but smart beyond their years, knowledgeable beyond
• 53:34
  their years. You know, it's kind of a
• 53:37
  parallel to that where it's like horrifying to hear a a nine year
• 53:41
  old say the word cunt. Yeah, it's horrifying to see a
• 53:44
  zombie know how to cut the electrical wiring.
• 53:48
  Dude I would struggle. If you told me to go do that for
• 53:52
  the house now, I'd be like, can I just flip the switches?
• 53:54
  Yeah. I'll tape them down so that way
• 53:57
  it's like, hard to get the life cycle things here.
• 54:01
  Yeah. Can I just cut the power cord to
• 54:05
  our lamp? No, just turn it off man.
• 54:08
  Yeah. It's easier.
• 54:09
  Everybody wins that. One and then we can use the lamp
• 54:11
  again after. Exactly.
• 54:13
  If we make it out, I'm thinking in this like hypothetical
• 54:16
  situation, we're about to be killed.
• 54:18
  What if Cordelia is secretly the zombie and it's like a super
• 54:22
  slow acting zombie virus and like we just don't know it yet?
• 54:26
  Well, we're fucked. Man.
• 54:29
  She's endeared us. No going back.
• 54:33
  All right, that would be such an interesting movie.
• 54:36
  Nice zombies. Zombies that trick you into
• 54:39
  like. I'm sure there's one that
• 54:41
  exists. Man, if not, we're writing it
• 54:44
  patent, it's happening. TM copyright.
• 54:47
  Those are all legally binding now, yeah.
• 54:51
  All right, so they they come up with a plan to go into the
• 54:54
  event. Clint is the tiniest, so he's
• 54:57
  gonna go. Yeah, like we need somebody
• 54:59
  small that can fit in the air ducts.
• 55:01
  Obviously, it's gonna be Elijah. Woods Yep.
• 55:03
  So he's crawling through there and then Lucy's like, hey, I'm
• 55:07
  gonna go too. Well, cuz like everybody's
• 55:09
  arguing and she's like, I hate you all.
• 55:12
  Yep. She goes hard.
• 55:15
  So yeah, she joins Clint. Pulls out some of her her Kim.
• 55:18
  Yeah. She.
• 55:20
  Does they make it to the other end, which is a teacher's
• 55:23
  lounge? Which we didn't even talk about.
• 55:25
  Mr. Hitachi basically lives in the basement.
• 55:27
  Yeah. So we didn't talk about that.
• 55:29
  Yeah, he like popped up into the auditorium, but he was surprised
• 55:33
  that they were there and they were surprised he was there.
• 55:35
  And he's cooking there, Went out.
• 55:36
  Yeah. Dude, he was looking for a
• 55:38
  reason to kill those kids. Absolutely.
• 55:40
  You know, they've been terrorizing him for years.
• 55:43
  Absolutely. So Clint is getting the candy.
• 55:47
  Lucy's going to go look for the keys and phones because they're
• 55:50
  also going to try and get the keys to Wade's truck because his
• 55:54
  truck can fit everybody and it's got Guru rear wheel, wheel,
• 56:00
  wheel wheel. I'm I legitimately can't say it.
• 56:05
  Door. Rear wheel.
• 56:06
  Door, rear wheel it was better. You did OK?
• 56:10
  Yeah, you're getting there. It's like it was fun.
• 56:13
  That's mean. I don't know why you have to
• 56:15
  keep bringing that up. OK, so they go into the the
• 56:19
  office, the teacher's lounge, and they are trying to get the
• 56:25
  sweets from the machine. I don't understand why they're
• 56:27
  actually He asks her for a dollar and she's like, yeah,
• 56:30
  here you go, just bust the fucking thing.
• 56:33
  OK, I agree with you and it's a silly funny moment, but also
• 56:37
  thinking about it, they probably didn't want to make noise and.
• 56:40
  Attractive. That makes sense.
• 56:41
  Yeah, I get that. But come on, man.
• 56:43
  And what ends up happening is that the dollar wouldn't take
• 56:48
  because it was crinkly and it kept spitting it back out.
• 56:52
  And one of those sounds is what alerted the kids.
• 56:56
  And so they end up following Lucy and Clint, who are trying
• 57:01
  to get out. They end up in like the library
• 57:05
  and they tell, they use the radio and tell everybody in the
• 57:10
  basement that they need to like, basically block the duct so that
• 57:13
  way the kids can't get to them. And then here's the thing.
• 57:18
  They're in the library. And this is where Clint reveals
• 57:21
  that he knew Lucy taught there so it wasn't a surprise to see
• 57:24
  her, and that he's actually a teacher, and that he was never a
• 57:28
  minor in New York. So I don't know.
• 57:31
  The Lionsgate alternate ending had to have cut this scene too.
• 57:35
  Yeah, because like I was wondering about the confession,
• 57:37
  like does he confess 2 times when he said that?
• 57:39
  Yeah. Yeah, they must have moved it.
• 57:44
  I don't know. Who knows?
• 57:45
  They they end up kissing and then they joke that they need a
• 57:48
  bottle of wine and they're like, well, we could just, you know,
• 57:50
  take some of the meds from one of these kids backpacks.
• 57:53
  And that's when they get an idea.
• 57:56
  Meanwhile, down in the basement, everybody talks about a thing
• 57:58
  that they wish they'd done while they still had the time.
• 58:02
  And honestly, this is a thing that I'm really, really trying
• 58:06
  to do more in my life is like those things that I'm like, man,
• 58:10
  I wanna do this thing. And I have to be like, well why
• 58:12
  am I not? Yeah.
• 58:14
  Like, we've booked an anniversary trip and it's a
• 58:17
  place we've wanted to go. We saved up the money for it.
• 58:19
  And there were tons of reasons for us to be like, well, maybe
• 58:22
  we shouldn't do it. Maybe we should use the money
• 58:24
  for this. And it's like, well, no, we
• 58:25
  saved the money for this. Life is too short.
• 58:27
  You never know what's going to happen.
• 58:29
  You should experience those things.
• 58:30
  And so this is just my serious, heartfelt Erin Brockovich Wade
• 58:35
  moment. Yeah, of the show and just
• 58:38
  encouraging you. But if there's a thing you want
• 58:40
  to do, and if you can't, if you have to convince yourself why
• 58:44
  you shouldn't do it, that probably means that you should.
• 58:47
  Yeah, that's why I tell you all the time, if you like, you'll
• 58:49
  regret if you don't. That's why I have my space
• 58:51
  pants. That is why you have them.
• 58:53
  And everybody that's ever seen me in them says that those are
• 58:56
  the best purchase I've ever made.
• 58:57
  Yeah. And that's without knowing my
• 58:59
  finances. True.
• 59:02
  OK, so they're they also realize that all the phones are busted
• 59:08
  during all that so they could not call for help.
• 59:12
  So they they give the kids Ritalin is what the plan was.
• 59:16
  They toss all the meds in the hall and the kids, they kind of
• 59:19
  look like James Franco and Allison Brie in together, where
• 59:23
  they're just like. Kind of like coming together.
• 59:26
  No where. They're just like like devouring
• 59:29
  the pills off. The Oh yeah, yeah, you're right,
• 59:33
  yeah. So they're waiting for them to
• 59:35
  fall asleep and then they get down to the basement and the
• 59:38
  group has a suiting up montage. There was a moment where Wade
• 59:42
  talks about like he he talks about Speed 2 when he's
• 59:46
  referencing that. And basically he he's he loves
• 59:49
  the works of Jason Statham, who doesn't exactly.
• 59:53
  Yeah, he's an inspiration in this moment especially.
• 59:56
  So they're having a suiting at one time.
• 59:57
  Yeah, I like his gear. He's got like the football pads
• 1:00:00
  on and he's got like the baseball like pitch machine on
• 1:00:03
  his back as like a shooter. So it's a pretty nifty little
• 1:00:07
  set up there and they start working their way through the
• 1:00:09
  hallways. Right.
• 1:00:10
  Not to keep bringing him back to Dwight, but it's kind kind of
• 1:00:14
  kind of reminiscent of his Recyclops.
• 1:00:16
  That's what it was. I was thinking the entire time.
• 1:00:19
  I was like, what is the fucking name of his character in that?
• 1:00:22
  It's the guy that, like, slowly develops.
• 1:00:26
  Yeah, Recyclops, thank you for saying that.
• 1:00:28
  That was killing me that night and I just didn't want to ask.
• 1:00:32
  OK, Yes, it is very Recyclops. Yeah.
• 1:00:35
  So yeah, they're making their way through there.
• 1:00:37
  They make it to Clint and Lucy, and they join the party.
• 1:00:41
  So they make it outside and they see the truck.
• 1:00:44
  They're gonna go for Wade's truck.
• 1:00:46
  But wait till, like, hold on a moment.
• 1:00:48
  I'm gonna sacrifice myself. Yeah.
• 1:00:50
  And he tosses Quint the keys and they all get over to the truck,
• 1:00:54
  except for Lucy, who stays and tries to get away, to come back,
• 1:00:57
  but it's too late. He's already made the sacrifice.
• 1:01:00
  Mr. Hitachi has also sacrificed himself in the school.
• 1:01:03
  I'm upset at how much you keep leaving Hitachi.
• 1:01:06
  Dude, he's such a badass dude. He's not even sacrificing us.
• 1:01:09
  I was like, this is too fun. You.
• 1:01:11
  Guys want to Yeah, he stayed in the school and he was just
• 1:01:13
  fighting the kids, so he was holding off that wave you.
• 1:01:16
  Guys sure you don't want any of this?
• 1:01:17
  Like you guys are actually cool if I kill them all.
• 1:01:20
  That's that's Zoe and Cordelia chasing bugs.
• 1:01:23
  Yeah, it is. Yeah, you guys.
• 1:01:24
  Oh, did you, did you want it? Go ahead.
• 1:01:26
  Yeah, you can. Get.
• 1:01:27
  It do you understand? No.
• 1:01:29
  OK. So at the end of the truck and
• 1:01:33
  go and. Drive drive out of Fort Chicken,
• 1:01:35
  somebody's in the bed of the truck.
• 1:01:37
  That's fucking Patriot. Of course it is.
• 1:01:39
  He grabs Clint through the window but then gets thrown off.
• 1:01:42
  And then they ram him into a fucking tree sign style.
• 1:01:46
  It's nice. This movie, it's just it's dark.
• 1:01:52
  It just brings out the dark humor it.
• 1:01:54
  Is so they arrive in Danville, which seems pretty empty.
• 1:02:00
  And that's so weird because this movie is in Indiana, so there's
• 1:02:03
  like a part of me. That's like it's like a talkie.
• 1:02:05
  I was thinking this. Could be, yeah.
• 1:02:08
  Although Wade strikes me as the type of person who probably
• 1:02:13
  doesn't fill his engine, his tank very often.
• 1:02:16
  And that has to be a gas Goozler.
• 1:02:19
  Yeah, cuz they're out of gas now.
• 1:02:21
  Yeah, they come across a theater, I think, isn't it?
• 1:02:25
  It's, I think it's more of a like a, an amusement center.
• 1:02:33
  Yeah, OK. So but.
• 1:02:35
  They also see like a TV show that's like a it's like full
• 1:02:39
  outbreak is all over the world, or the United States at least.
• 1:02:43
  And Doug thinks that he could make a vaccine if he got an
• 1:02:47
  infected nugget. So they go into a building and
• 1:02:53
  kids attack. No kids attack, and then they go
• 1:02:56
  and hide in the building. They find the Nuggets in there
• 1:02:59
  because this is an entertainment area, and then they realize
• 1:03:05
  they're in the middle of a play place.
• 1:03:07
  And then they're all surrounded. They it is a chilling scene and
• 1:03:11
  ruins so many of my childhood memories because I fucking loved
• 1:03:15
  an entertainment center there. Me too, dude.
• 1:03:17
  Yeah, the. Things going on, yes.
• 1:03:20
  Absolutely. So fun.
• 1:03:22
  There was like, it was the McDonald's playface and Chuck E
• 1:03:25
  Cheese and Fun Center way up here, really, because Fun
• 1:03:29
  Center, it was so much bigger than Chuck E Cheese and didn't
• 1:03:33
  have the shitty hardboard pizza. I put Gaddy's at the top.
• 1:03:37
  Gaddy's is mostly arcade games, so I had.
• 1:03:39
  Movies too at the top. OK, jot this down so we remember
• 1:03:46
  what the poll is going to be on Friday.
• 1:03:49
  All right? Did we read poll results?
• 1:03:52
  We actually had a poll, didn't we?
• 1:03:54
  We did. We'll get that after.
• 1:03:56
  This OK? God damn it.
• 1:03:59
  We're just. I'm sorry, guys.
• 1:04:01
  We're a mess. We're a mess.
• 1:04:03
  It'll be better this weekend, I hope.
• 1:04:05
  Yeah, All right, I got our poll of this.
• 1:04:09
  OK, Daddy's are Chuck E Cheese. OK.
• 1:04:12
  Or McDonald's. Or Fun Center.
• 1:04:14
  OK or OK. OK, whatever, let's bring.
• 1:04:17
  This, anyway. Anyway, so they're surrounded,
• 1:04:19
  Yeah, but wait. And Hitachi arrived in Rick's
• 1:04:22
  band. Drive through the building.
• 1:04:25
  Technically Rick's there too, but yeah.
• 1:04:29
  Yeah, whatever. He doesn't do much, no.
• 1:04:31
  Everybody climbs in and Wade's got a super Soaker and he just
• 1:04:35
  kind of soaks the whole building and then tosses in some fight.
• 1:04:39
  Dude, yeah, he throws on the shades and like, turns around
• 1:04:42
  just in time and. Well, yeah, he's got to have the
• 1:04:45
  cool guy walk away from that social moment.
• 1:04:47
  So he's alive and they're all back in the truck and driving
• 1:04:50
  away. Yeah, that's pretty much how it
• 1:04:53
  ends that. Is exactly how it ends.
• 1:04:56
  I don't like this movie, I think it's a lot of fun.
• 1:04:59
  I wish it had a better ending but dude I read Stephen King so
• 1:05:03
  I can live with a weird ending. I really did feel at the end of
• 1:05:06
  that like that was what Braden said and then they.
• 1:05:09
  Sprayed the children and then they go folk family and eat folk
• 1:05:13
  dinner. Driveway.
• 1:05:15
  Driveway. That's it.
• 1:05:16
  I'm gonna keep it in eight. I'm keeping mine 85 OK 825. 825
• 1:05:22
  S Talia She watched the movie. She did.
• 1:05:27
  Talia loves our nieces and nephews.
• 1:05:31
  She has globalized the concept of a child.
• 1:05:34
  All children are her niece and nephews.
• 1:05:38
  That makes things really awkward around the neighborhood cuz
• 1:05:41
  she's like trying to shepherd them into our yard.
• 1:05:43
  It looks us. Yeah, it it, it's a little.
• 1:05:49
  And she has seen them all sick, she's seen them get me sick.
• 1:05:56
  And she's like, I'm pretty sure that's just a documentary.
• 1:05:58
  Guys, yeah, this is all truthful.
• 1:06:00
  So I think she's going to give it a 7 because she would prefer
• 1:06:03
  to watch fiction on her nights off, but at least this was like
• 1:06:06
  a cinematic non fiction. OK, I get that it was always
• 1:06:12
  Ultimate warrior. I think it was Patriot because
• 1:06:15
  she is being a little asshole to her little sister right now, but
• 1:06:19
  her little sisters being an asshole back.
• 1:06:21
  So what if she patriots Cordelia's Shelly?
• 1:06:27
  No, no, Cordelia is the other kid.
• 1:06:33
  Cordelia's Dink and scout Shelly.
• 1:06:35
  Yes. Exactly.
• 1:06:39
  That's yeah. OK.
• 1:06:40
  And was this a hoot or a holler for Cordy?
• 1:06:42
  A who? Because she's an asshole.
• 1:06:45
  She related hard to those kids all.
• 1:06:50
  Right. Who did you relate to?
• 1:07:07
  I'll go ahead and say that unfortunately I also struggle
• 1:07:10
  with certain words and relate to the movies of Jason Statham.
• 1:07:13
  So unfortunately, I must say that I relate to Wade.
• 1:07:18
  I relate to Doug because sometimes I have a hard time
• 1:07:21
  talking to people too. It's not.
• 1:07:24
  He makes me feel better about myself at least, but he needs me
• 1:07:27
  sometimes. Yeah, so dream sequel, clearly
• 1:07:31
  it's. A proper Yeah, we.
• 1:07:35
  Need Doug and party cop together.
• 1:07:37
  Yes, yes, Oh my God. I want nothing more.
• 1:07:40
  I like Spectra vision. Elijah Woods, please, you and
• 1:07:47
  Noah and Josh like this happen. Party Cop is a pretty good cop.
• 1:07:52
  The cabin fever too. At least he is the only one
• 1:07:55
  that's responsible in that entire movie.
• 1:07:57
  And that's Sands, which is. Yeah, it's bad.
• 1:07:59
  Yeah. OK, what would Dom Toretto do?
• 1:08:10
  Well, I just. The thing is, I'm surprised they
• 1:08:15
  haven't taken on zombies at this point.
• 1:08:18
  Right. I think he would use like his
• 1:08:20
  cross and he would like turn into a silver bullet because
• 1:08:24
  he's getting like zombie and werewolf war mixed stuff.
• 1:08:27
  He didn't have time for any of that.
• 1:08:29
  The only got time for driving doesn't have time for movies.
• 1:08:32
  You know, you know what? You can't watch a quarter mile
• 1:08:35
  at a time? Anything.
• 1:08:37
  Because that's not how movies and television.
• 1:08:40
  Exactly. So he does that and he shoots
• 1:08:42
  some of the kids. He doesn't feel good about it
• 1:08:44
  though. No.
• 1:08:45
  He also runs him over with his car.
• 1:08:47
  I don't know. Then he just drives away, just
• 1:08:49
  like they do in this movie. He just drives away.
• 1:08:51
  Exactly Like he's gonna have kind of like a front of me
• 1:08:54
  relationship with Wade because he's like, you remind me of this
• 1:08:57
  other. Ass dude but will be it's gonna
• 1:08:59
  be in the school. Yeah, but Lil B is probably like
• 1:09:02
  hanging out with Calvin and Tamra.
• 1:09:05
  They probably rehearse like a safety hideaway at the school,
• 1:09:08
  like Halloween, Like, yeah, when Cypher comes over and they're
• 1:09:11
  like, all right, you know where to go.
• 1:09:12
  And then he like, hides in his like.
• 1:09:14
  They're like, why did you hide? This wasn't a Cypher situation.
• 1:09:18
  And Lil B is like, I don't know, that bitch is crazy.
• 1:09:20
  She invited me to buy a weapon. Yeah.
• 1:09:23
  All right, so that's what happens.
• 1:09:25
  And I was like, don't call women bitches.
• 1:09:27
  I'm sorry. He's like.
• 1:09:28
  But you're right about Cipher. Yeah, yeah.
• 1:09:31
  The movie writes itself honestly.
• 1:09:33
  It's so easy, all right? Do we have a new tag on?
• 1:09:44
  If we can't think of one in immediate, we need to.
• 1:09:49
  Just kind of a compassion. Yeah, we can't be.
• 1:09:52
  We're doing this live, we can't edit this.
• 1:09:55
  You've already done the artwork. I have, yeah.
• 1:09:58
  So. All right, well, I guess we
• 1:10:01
  don't have to do 1, but. Growing kids need their protein.
• 1:10:11
  That OK, I'll I'll give you, you actually got something up there.
• 1:10:15
  Yeah, you were just saying, hmm, so.
• 1:10:18
  Yeah, OK. Growing up bites.
• 1:10:26
  That's a good one. OK, there we go there.
• 1:10:30
  We go, OK, review. Yeah, we're onto a review.
• 1:10:35
  OK. A lot of people hated that this
• 1:10:38
  was a movie about zombie children.
• 1:10:40
  Like, that was the main complaint.
• 1:10:42
  So I tried to find something that went beyond that because a
• 1:10:46
  lot of the negative reviews were like, wow, really?
• 1:10:49
  You're going to make all the kids zombies and then kill them.
• 1:10:53
  Really. People are that upset about it?
• 1:10:54
  Yeah, that's a surprise. It's like, I don't know, maybe
• 1:10:57
  this movie just wasn't for you babes.
• 1:10:58
  Yeah, OK, tired retread. OK.
• 1:11:03
  Get ready for the history lesson.
• 1:11:05
  In 1998, Elijah Wood LED a stellar ensemble cast as a
• 1:11:08
  student in The Faculty, A refreshing blast of sci-fi
• 1:11:11
  horror and comedy about a high school in Ohio whose teachers
• 1:11:13
  are infected by aliens and the students who try to thwart them.
• 1:11:16
  In 2015, Wood now leads a less stellar ensemble cast as a
• 1:11:19
  teacher in an elementary school in Illinois where students are
• 1:11:21
  infected by a foodborne virus that turns the little monsters
• 1:11:24
  into little monsters who eat the teachers.
• 1:11:26
  It's quite a come down for Wood who even has to endure a Hobbit
• 1:11:30
  joke poorly delivered by Ryan Wilson who plays his character
• 1:11:33
  as if The Office's Dwight was a redneck gym teacher.
• 1:11:36
  And even that is better than Co screenwriter Ian Brennan, who
• 1:11:39
  does a cut rate imitation of Owen Wilson and playing the Vice
• 1:11:42
  principal. That's the least of this film's
• 1:11:46
  problems, whose tonal clashes are matched by an annoying,
• 1:11:49
  clinging soundtrack that tries too desperately to conjure
• 1:11:51
  excitement from a tedious story. It's not that the basic scenario
• 1:11:55
  is unoriginal, because the scenario is something the film
• 1:11:57
  makers could have done a lot with.
• 1:11:59
  It's not that the characters are unlikable and unsympathetic,
• 1:12:01
  it's that they're uninteresting. Since the kids are essentially
• 1:12:04
  not entities, it's up to the teachers to carry the movie, but
• 1:12:07
  neither the actors nor the screenplay are up to the task.
• 1:12:09
  There are some good lines here and there, mostly in the 1st 3rd
• 1:12:12
  when they're still hope that this thing might be the fun
• 1:12:14
  snarky thrill ride it wants to be.
• 1:12:15
  But none of these people develop any rapport with each other, and
• 1:12:18
  it never develops any momentum. If anything else, I hope the
• 1:12:21
  kids had fun running around covered in fake blood. 2 Bad
• 1:12:24
  viewers get no such joy. OK, well, they were right that
• 1:12:29
  Elijah Wood was in the faculty. I remember that.
• 1:12:34
  I think, I mean, it's kind of like what I was saying earlier
• 1:12:37
  where you have to have those moments where you're like
• 1:12:39
  serious about it because it undercuts how absurd and dark
• 1:12:46
  the premise is. If you actually stop and look at
• 1:12:48
  it for a minute, you have to have that moment that tethers it
• 1:12:51
  to reality to bring it back to like the horror and the
• 1:12:54
  darkness. True.
• 1:12:56
  And also that moment where it just becomes so absurd and over
• 1:12:58
  the top. That is that dark comedy.
• 1:13:01
  Yeah, I think it walks though. I I think it's, I think it's
• 1:13:04
  tasteful. It doesn't do anything that I
• 1:13:05
  think is like really that bad. Yeah, it's not one of those that
• 1:13:08
  like you. Don't even see the kids get like
• 1:13:10
  really fucked up. It's all off screen whenever
• 1:13:12
  that happens. Yeah, it's one of those things
• 1:13:14
  that like, I wouldn't necessarily think twice about
• 1:13:17
  recommending this to most people, like, because I just
• 1:13:20
  don't think there are a lot of bad taste media out there and I
• 1:13:24
  just don't feel like this falls into it.
• 1:13:27
  Maybe I'm fucked up. I don't know.
• 1:13:28
  It's possible. It's possible.
• 1:13:30
  I'm not going to rule that out, but I don't think it's, I don't
• 1:13:33
  think I'm fucked up just because I like this movie.
• 1:13:35
  I agree. With you and I, I don't think
• 1:13:38
  the tonal changes are that distracting.
• 1:13:41
  I think, like I said, I think they serve to to give a balance
• 1:13:44
  to the movie. I agree, and I wasn't bothered
• 1:13:47
  by in Brandon's performance. I actually kind of liked it.
• 1:13:49
  I didn't get Owen Wilson vibes, and that's something because I
• 1:13:52
  get Owen Wilson vibes from a lot of people.
• 1:13:54
  Yeah, I also thought Rainn Wilson did well.
• 1:13:57
  Yeah, I didn't think he pointed like Dwight.
• 1:13:59
  I mean, like at first. I think it's just like kind of
• 1:14:01
  like you see. An internal bias.
• 1:14:03
  It is like if you, if you've never watched The Office, I'd
• 1:14:06
  say you're much better off seeing him than something else
• 1:14:08
  like this because you'd be able to see him as like what he's
• 1:14:10
  playing. Yeah, it's hard not to separate
• 1:14:13
  that character from anything he does, but I think he did a good
• 1:14:16
  job. Yes.
• 1:14:17
  OK, All right. Well, I don't have Western
• 1:14:21
  reviews, but I guess we can do the poll that we.
• 1:14:23
  Yes. So we did a poll for what we do
• 1:14:26
  in the shadows. I was very proud of it.
• 1:14:29
  I remembered it when I was editing cuz I was like, we'll
• 1:14:33
  have to remember to do this as a poll.
• 1:14:35
  I texted it to Travis yes. So we did it.
• 1:14:38
  He's got the notes for this week's poll, which will
• 1:14:41
  hopefully be announced in a more timely, better edited version of
• 1:14:46
  next week's episode. Yeah, it'll be fun.
• 1:14:48
  All right, so would you rather be turned into a vampire when
• 1:14:51
  you're super young or super old? So 67% when you're really young,
• 1:14:58
  33% when you're really old, man. See, like, I guess it's all like
• 1:15:07
  how old and how young? I like if.
• 1:15:11
  I'm a kid. I don't want to be a kid for my
• 1:15:13
  whole life. Do my joints still hurt?
• 1:15:18
  I doubt it. I think you're like, you're
• 1:15:20
  thriving as a vampire, always. Like that's the thing, 'cause
• 1:15:24
  like I feel like much like, what's your face in the movie?
• 1:15:30
  Like I feel like I'm coming into my prime.
• 1:15:32
  Yeah, exactly. And perhaps, like a fine wine, I
• 1:15:36
  will just continue to age. Well, the way my body is
• 1:15:40
  breaking down on me says that's not so.
• 1:15:42
  But hey, if the vampirism fixed that fixes that, then that's
• 1:15:47
  what I got to go with. Yeah, I think, yeah.
• 1:15:49
  I mean, that's the whole point. Yeah, you.
• 1:15:51
  Yeah. Well, let's do it.
• 1:15:52
  We'll hook it up. Although if I was turned really
• 1:15:54
  young I could just like forever do my Jane impression and go
• 1:15:58
  around say pay to people. Yeah, yeah, OK, OK.
• 1:16:05
  Yeah, I'm old. I'll do old.
• 1:16:08
  We'll be all together. Yeah, there we go.
• 1:16:11
  All right, you have to turn eight months before me, so that
• 1:16:17
  way we can be the same age forever.
• 1:16:20
  Yeah, I like that. OK, OK.
• 1:16:24
  Next week, which is really just a couple days from now from our
• 1:16:27
  perspective, we're doing Zombieland 2.
• 1:16:30
  Yeah, double tap. Yeah, we're doing, we're doing
• 1:16:33
  more zombie movies, another 2019 movie.
• 1:16:35
  Guess what? Also another watchable movie,
• 1:16:38
  'cause you can see it on Tubi for free.
• 1:16:40
  You can also watch it on Prime. It requires an add on.
• 1:16:45
  I have no more specific information than that.
• 1:16:48
  I don't know, if you don't want to do Tubi and you want to try
• 1:16:50
  Prime, maybe you'll figure out if you have the add on or not.
• 1:16:54
  Can't tell ya. You can also rent it from
• 1:16:56
  YouTube, Google TV, Apple TV, or Fandango at home.
• 1:17:00
  This one's definitely worth a watch.
• 1:17:02
  I'm excited to watch it again. Yeah.
• 1:17:04
  Me too. So.
• 1:17:06
  All right, cool. So we'll catch you guys.
• 1:17:08
  That's on that one then. Yeah.
• 1:17:10
  And we'll have our two be here not to be this weekend.
• 1:17:12
  In the meantime, we would also like to thank our patrons.
• 1:17:16
  We would like to shout out Joe. Freakatron.
• 1:17:19
  S is his name Amber, Michael, Tyler, Chad, Johnny, Jason and
• 1:17:23
  Lord Zombie. Sorry that Travis almost forgot
• 1:17:26
  about you guys. That's not funny.
• 1:17:35
  No, it's not, It's not OK. But thank you guys.
• 1:17:40
  We, we really appreciate your support.
• 1:17:42
  It means a whole lot to us. I'm sorry we're a mess tonight.
• 1:17:45
  Yeah, I'm not, I'm not making it any better right now, but thank
• 1:17:50
  you guys. We really appreciate you guys,
• 1:17:51
  all your support. You guys are amazing.
• 1:17:53
  If you are unable to be a patron, you can help us other
• 1:17:56
  ways. You can visit our social media
• 1:17:59
  and check us out over there. You can rate, review whatever,
• 1:18:04
  subscribe on whatever platform you listen on.
• 1:18:07
  That stuff helps a lot too. And you can catch us on our
• 1:18:11
  website. What's your least favorite scary
• 1:18:13
  movie.com? We have social media at
• 1:18:16
  Instagram, least favorite scary movie podcast, Blue Sky, at
• 1:18:21
  leastsafe pod, and we have an e-mail.
• 1:18:24
  What's your least favorite? scarymovie@gmail.com.
• 1:18:26
  Yep, so. All right, that does it for this
• 1:18:29
  one. We'll see you guys next time.
• 1:18:31
  Until then. Bye.