Latest / What's Your (Least) Favorite Scary Movie? / #297: Talon Falls (2017) – Tubi or Not to Be

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#297: Talon Falls (2017) – Tubi or Not to Be · What's Your (Least) Favorite Scary Movie?

0:06
Hello, what's your least favorite scary movie?
0:10
You're in Kentucky, stupid. Welcome to What's Your Least
0:15
Favorite Scary Movie? The podcast where we talk about
0:17
the good, the bad, the ugly and the absurd and all of our
0:20
favorite. And least favorite?
0:21
Scary movies. Because we believe every horror
0:23
movie rightfully has its fan base.
0:24
Even if we don't always get it. My name is Travis, my name is
0:27
Jesse, and welcome back to another live, uncut and mostly
0:31
undrawn bonus episode of To Be or Not To Be, where we dive into
0:35
the free streaming movie services to see what gems we may
0:38
have overlooked in the past. Hell yeah.
0:41
That's right, yeah. No further ado.
0:44
We're just gonna hop right in. No further ado cuz that's what
0:46
we do. Yeah, it was Jesse's month to
0:48
pick a movie this month. It was, and I was honestly torn
0:52
between 2:00 that we've had that we had on our saved lists.
0:56
Yeah. And you know what?
0:58
Something just felt right about a Halloween scare attraction
1:03
that took place in Kentucky. So that's what we did.
1:07
We're talking about Talon Falls. Talon Falls.
1:10
Yeah, that's right. All right, just a wee bit of
1:14
information about it, just the amount we normally do for this
1:17
right. So town falls premiered October
1:20
13th, 2017. We watched it on to be
1:23
obviously, but you can also stream it on Fandango at home,
1:26
YouTube primetime, YouTube TV premium or prime with add-ons.
1:32
It did not specify with add-ons. OK.
1:37
So you can't rent it. You're going to watch this thing
1:40
for free and you're going to. Like it?
1:42
You're going to like it. Yeah.
1:43
You're going to enjoy those ads. Written and directed by Joshua
1:47
Shreve. Music by Michael Whitaker.
1:49
No special makeup effects. Interesting.
1:53
Yeah, I know that there were done.
1:55
There were done, there were some done.
1:57
Yes, but I'm going to assume just based on sets that I've
2:03
been an extra on like real micro budget stuff that is all done by
2:07
the actors. Oh, really?
2:09
Yeah. OK, cool.
2:10
So that's that's my assumption for this.
2:12
That would make sense, yeah. Starring Morgan Wiggins as
2:16
Lindsay, Ryan Rudolph is Sean, Jordan Rudolph is Rider, Brad
2:21
Bell is Lance, Matthew Bozone is Doctor on a checked me and Tim
2:26
McCain as Tiny Travis. Yeah, time for our favorite
2:30
game. Budget or budget?
2:34
Bug Ted. I don't have numbers.
2:37
Yeah, I but we know, we know, we know.
2:39
This is a Bug Ted movie. There's no way this hit $10
2:41
million for budget. I do have a gross though.
2:44
You do. It has made just a little over
2:47
$5000. Hey, you know what, I'm happy
2:50
for you. That's actually not too bad for
2:52
I'm sure. What was a local small scale
2:54
release? And if you were curious, Tallon
2:58
Falls is a real haunted attraction, Scream Park type of
3:04
thing here in Graves County. Yeah, Yeah.
3:07
I the only reason I looked that up last night is because at that
3:10
very end credits, I had the logo for, I was like, why would they
3:13
put the logo there if it's not a real thing?
3:15
So I looked it up and yeah. So I guess this movie, in a way,
3:19
is kind of a big long advertisement for it.
3:22
I'm not mad about it. Though that's a good way to do
3:23
an ad for your thing. I mean, you know, not exactly.
3:27
I don't know, because the whole premise is we're taking real
3:29
people and torturing them for your entertainment as a goer to
3:33
this place. It's.
3:35
Not a movie, it's a documentary. Yeah, it could.
3:37
Maybe it's a documentary, I don't know.
3:41
I am interested. So I am gonna say it did
3:43
actually work on me. Yeah, I want to check something
3:47
real quick. OK, so I meant to look this up
3:49
before onichectomy. I don't know if I'm pronouncing
3:54
it right. It might be onichectomy.
3:55
He said it once at the beginning of the movie, but that that's an
4:00
actual thing. Is the amputation of the last
4:01
toe bone or the third phalanx? The last toe bone.
4:05
It is. It is unfortunately what we
4:08
refer to as declawing cats, which if you don't know decline
4:15
cats, involves like actually maiming their feet.
4:17
So don't declaw your cats. Don't do that.
4:19
Yeah, that's cool. That's sad.
4:21
Yeah, I have 3 movies from 2017 and my theme is wait, you want
4:29
me for what? OK, cool.
4:32
Yeah, that. Was this, They're in a screen
4:33
park and they think they're just going to be walking through and
4:38
experiencing it, but they're actually going to be used for
4:40
the entertainment. I'm curious what we got here.
4:42
Well, the first one's get out OK.
4:45
He's brought to his girlfriend's family and he's being auctioned
4:48
off, which is there's a lot we have to unpack with that movie.
4:52
I can't remember which episode it is, but I'm thinking all I am
4:55
thinking of is that episode of King of the Hill where like, oh,
4:58
and I think it's the one where she, like, spikes his coffee
5:01
with testosterone. And then like, you just hear in
5:03
the background, you're like, you did what?
5:05
Yeah. You want me to do what?
5:08
Yeah, it's kind of men. They're overhearing their fight.
5:11
Yeah, that's a yeah figure. Out like why is he pointing at
5:13
his crutch? Yeah, that's right.
5:15
OK. I'm sorry.
5:17
So get out. Released February 24th, 2017
5:20
$4.5 million Budget 259,000,000 Ghosts because Jordan Peele
5:24
fucking rules. I'm surprised it was only a 4.5
5:27
million budget. Right IMDb score 7.8 out of 10.
5:31
Nice. Yeah, That's a, that's a good
5:34
one. That's a really good movie. 2nd
5:36
movie, The babysitter, she's there, she's babysitting.
5:41
They want his pure virgin childhood, innocence, blood.
5:44
Yeah, they want his blood. That's right.
5:46
That released October 13th October yeah, 13th live show
5:54
2017. I'm a budgeter.
5:56
Gross work. It's a Netflix production.
5:58
It does have a 6.4 out of 10 on IMD.
6:00
BI like that movie? That's a fun movie.
6:02
Yeah, 3rd movie. Yeah, Creep 2.
6:08
Because. She's there documenting him, but
6:10
she's actually, she's actually the yeah, the, the sacrifice.
6:15
Yeah, the sacrifice. Or not really a sacrifice, just
6:17
the target, yeah. That really is October 24th,
6:20
2017. Again, it's something I don't
6:22
have a budget or gross for. Another Netflix movie.
6:24
Yeah, was it Netflix or. That's a Netflix, Yeah, it's on
6:28
there now. And I know that they did the
6:30
sequel, The Creep Tapes. I do want to watch that.
6:33
I just keep forgetting that it's a thing on Shutter.
6:36
Yeah. And I think that's probably why
6:38
I got it confused what streaming service it was associated with.
6:41
Mark D Plus is like, I kind of had a like a mini blow up and
6:44
I'm really happy. For him, yeah, I'm really happy
6:46
for him too. I'm glad that they finally got
6:47
that out there because I remember they were going to be
6:49
doing Creep 3, but it fell apart I think and turned into the
6:52
show. Yeah, OK, I'm going to be score
6:54
6.4 out of 10. Nice.
6:57
Yeah, it wasn't as good as the first one if I remember, but I
7:00
thought it was OK so. I like that she was willing to
7:03
meet his. Weird.
7:04
Yeah, I guess you know, like having a meet his equal in a way
7:09
I guess was interesting, but still I I preferred the first
7:12
one. Yeah, it's just, I feel like you
7:13
can't do that same story twice because then it's like, OK, is
7:16
this how we're just gonna, it's the same issue.
7:17
We've been running into a Texas chainsaw where it's like, all
7:20
right, here's a sequel, but we're gonna do the exact same
7:22
thing as the movies before. Yeah, that's true.
7:25
OK, I have one tag line, only one.
7:27
But. How many Doobie movies have we
7:30
had no tag lines for? That's true.
7:32
OK, what do we have here? Where the torture is real and
7:37
you're the main attraction. That's not too bad, even.
7:40
I yeah, I think it's pretty solid.
7:42
Yeah, OK, good. Good on you.
7:44
Talon Falls doing that self promotion right.
7:46
There. All right, that's it.
7:49
That's it. This is what we've got.
7:51
We're ready to start talking about it.
7:53
I think I already explained why I chose this one.
7:55
So so because it. Was Kentucky.
7:57
Halloween. OK, that's because it's a
8:00
Kentucky Halloween, y'all? That's right.
8:02
Yeehaw. This is actually around Jesse's
8:03
neck of the woods where this is served by the way.
8:05
Yes. So that it's in Melbourne, KY is
8:09
what we're told at the beginning.
8:10
And that is a little bit past Paducah, Paducah's way, Western
8:14
Kentucky, it's like. Bordering the next state.
8:16
Yeah, it's. Is this like an hour, hour and a
8:19
half from my hometown? Is it really that far?
8:24
It's at the very edge of Kentucky.
8:25
The very western edge of Kentucky is Paducah, yeah.
8:28
Yeah, OK, so good, bad, ugly and absurd.
8:33
OK, OK. All right, so I'll kick off with
8:35
the goods here. So First off, I think that this
8:39
movie was surprisingly well put together, especially after
8:42
knowing that this is from a real theme park.
8:46
Yeah, my, I'm wondering who contacted, who did some film
8:51
makers want to make a movie around a theme park?
8:54
And they're like, hey, we can use your theme park and, you
8:57
know, we can kind of give you some free advertisement.
9:00
Or did did they contact film makers and be like, hey, can you
9:04
make a movie And then, you know, let them just use their whole
9:08
set? Plot twist, what if the writer
9:11
director is like an employee or partial owner of the screen
9:17
park? That would fall into one.
9:21
That would fall into two for me. There's somebody there making
9:24
the movie. Either way, it's made for
9:26
advertisement. You.
9:27
Said reaching out to make the movie.
9:30
I'm saying OK, it's one. .5 from inside the house.
9:32
It's this is neither here nor there, not that big of a deal
9:35
either way. I'm just I'm impressed.
9:37
I am impressed that they did what they did considering the
9:40
circumstances. I'm sure that this is a very low
9:42
budget film. And I thought that like, I've
9:45
seen a lot of like films from, you know, people like we've
9:49
we've gone to film fests here for Scarefest where we've seen
9:55
local filming makers make films. And if I saw this at that, I'd
9:57
be like, damn, that was probably the best one that they had there
10:01
just in this imaginary Film Festival that I have in my head
10:04
right here. Haven't.
10:05
OK, yeah, I would see it being as like one of the top
10:08
contenders. OK, OK.
10:10
The they have some really good squirmy effects moments.
10:13
So I'm that's the thing that is what is surprising me about some
10:17
of the like them not having a special effects person.
10:19
Like I go to Sean and his toenail being like removed I.
10:24
Want to know how they they did that cuz they got like the
10:26
gooeyness underneath. It they did a good job.
10:28
It was a really good shot and I was just impressed like, hey,
10:33
good for you guys for pulling that one off right there and I
10:36
like the setting and premise. Like I know that this is a very
10:40
standard one. Yeah, it's a what do you call
10:45
these? Like a Scream Park.
10:46
Yeah, Scream Park, a haunt. A haunted house, I think, where
10:51
they're actually hurting people. But like, with it being such a
10:53
played out premise, I, I thought that they actually handled it
10:57
well. And, you know, I think that that
10:59
goes a long way. You know, when you got something
11:02
that's so generic, but you still make it somewhat interesting.
11:04
Yeah. All right.
11:06
That's it for my goods. OK, yeah, no, I agree.
11:08
They were. I always think it's fun when I
11:12
see an effect that it makes me wonder how they did that, and I
11:14
start trying to piece it together in my head.
11:16
Usually to me that's a sign that they've got some fun effects.
11:18
Going on? Yeah, exactly.
11:20
Yeah, I, I feel like the story, like it has its basic plot
11:27
points, like you said, it's not anything, you know, super
11:31
original, but it's still, it's one of those things that it's
11:34
always a fun premise for me. And I think, of course, a lot of
11:37
times when you think about it, like so many of them just go
11:40
back to the basics of like, what if this very common thing was
11:44
actually this thing? Yeah.
11:46
And I think having people actually dying in a hunt, that's
11:49
the thing that's always going to be effective for me, because how
11:51
do you even fucking know? I think one of the things that
11:54
really helped it with this one right here is it took that
11:56
premise, but it's like you take the House as October Bill and
12:00
mix it with hostile. Yes.
12:02
Is basically what we have. And there were just like, there
12:05
were some moments I even told you, like when they first
12:07
entered the the haunted, it made me think of the haunted house
12:11
they'd have in the mall in Hopkinsville every year and like
12:14
lining up in it with my friends and going through all that.
12:17
And like, everybody's like trying to be the toughest and
12:19
the bravest it. Reminded me of the thing out
12:21
here in Lexington. Yeah, in Jacobson.
12:23
Park. Yeah.
12:23
I can't remember what it's called, but yeah, like, I mean,
12:26
everybody's standing out in the field around this time.
12:28
It's like a cornfield out there, too, you know what I mean?
12:30
Like it. Yeah.
12:31
Everybody knows this place. Yeah, everybody know.
12:33
And like, that's, that's what's great about it being filmed in
12:36
an actual like real location cuz it, it felt so much more real
12:40
than if it had been built on like a sound stage.
12:42
Well, that was another thing that I was wondering about was
12:44
like, I wonder if we're connecting to this because it's
12:46
set in Kentucky. Maybe it's not the same for
12:48
other people, but this is exact. I get captured the Kentucky like
12:51
experience for this very like authentically.
12:54
Yeah, if you're listening to this from another state, let us
12:57
know. Yeah, Let us know if it matches
13:00
your haunt experiences or not. So I I think that was fun and I
13:05
think that gas station got it at the beginning.
13:09
I There was something about his performance that just captured
13:14
me because it was. He was funny, he was.
13:17
Funny. And it was kind of unhinged.
13:19
There were people and I'm there are people that said they like
13:24
went to the Scream park and they watched the movie and they met a
13:29
lot of the cast and they said there are people that didn't
13:32
like the gas station guy. Really.
13:33
I was like, oh, but I think he's like, he's a good harbinger and
13:37
I. Wonder if he's actually like
13:38
that in person. I wonder what are you talking
13:41
about? Movie.
13:42
Yeah, I like him because it's different from being like the
13:47
like cryptic older man type thing.
13:50
Instead he's like, I feel like he's playing.
13:52
It's like the yokel stereotype a little bit.
13:54
He is. I'm going to talk about him here
13:55
in one of my next few things because like, there's just a
13:58
moment with him that it was really funny for me.
14:01
I don't know, like I was like actually laughing out loud to
14:04
him. And I am going to OK I need to
14:07
save this part just to remind me about the opening line I used.
14:10
OK, OK, what's your bad? So some of the bad, I think with
14:15
it being low budget, I'm sure they use a lot of local people
14:19
and I think some of the the non main casts is weak with their
14:23
acting. I think the one I go to
14:25
especially is like the the bald headed dude that's in the cages
14:29
with them. Yeah, they did this thing where
14:32
they're in the cages there, but I couldn't since any urgency in
14:38
the way that they were speaking, it was still like a very casual
14:40
conversation. Yeah.
14:42
And like in that moment, like you need to, you know, get your
14:45
heart rate up a little bit and just, you know, like you got to
14:48
be a little bit panicked, you know, like you're not going to
14:50
be calm and cold during that right there.
14:53
Especially like with the way that they were like the lines
14:56
and everything indicated that they needed a more panic
14:59
performance, but everybody was still playing it kind of cool.
15:01
That's why the that's why the lines were three hours long,
15:03
because they had to keep waiting for the lights to select a new
15:07
person. Yeah.
15:08
Yeah, You know, you're probably right.
15:12
Actually. Another thing is like I felt
15:15
like a lot of, so like a lot of the places in there felt very
15:21
samey. Like if you go to another room,
15:23
it felt like the same room. I never really felt like we were
15:25
moving around. I couldn't tell if we were
15:28
revisiting the same room or not. Exactly.
15:30
Every time, yeah. Yeah, it just nothing ever felt
15:32
distinct, even when they got outside of the cages and into
15:36
different buildings. I think like it had to have been
15:39
different buildings and it just all felt like the same place
15:42
over and over again. And I you know, it just kind of
15:46
it makes it all feel samey and boring.
15:48
And I another thing is like I I just kind of feel like the movie
15:51
loses steam towards the end. I think with them only they only
15:56
take shine back there for the torture and they draw that out
16:00
for the rest of the movie until they kill him and it's like the
16:04
escape. But like, I think it would have
16:06
been better if they would have, you know, done a couple of them
16:09
at a time and like, got unique things for each person, you
16:12
know, But they just drew this one out as long as they could
16:16
and it just kind of made it uninteresting.
16:19
Like, I didn't, you know, like the whole thing of them breaking
16:21
out of the cages and everything was just kind of OK.
16:23
Like I don't know it it could have been done better.
16:27
It it's bad for movie storytelling but good for
16:31
realism that like we can't tell apart the different rooms in the
16:35
haunted house. I guess you're right, yeah.
16:39
My thing is that I think that once they are captured, the
16:45
story, pun intended, becomes a little bit tortured.
16:49
Like they're trying to like figure out how they're going to
16:52
get these people out and also draw it out to a movie.
16:55
Links feature. I think we needed just a little
16:58
bit more in there. But I do think, yeah.
17:02
But I do think that it was good on the director's part not to
17:07
stretch it out any longer because we've seen so many times
17:10
that like we see a movie on TV, there's not a lot of thought
17:13
there. And they stretch it out to an
17:15
hour and a half because that feels like the proper movie
17:17
length. But it's you could have cut 1520
17:20
minutes from it. This movie was close to that.
17:22
It was an hour 20 it. Was an hour 15.
17:25
Hour 15. Yeah, OK.
17:26
So I, I, yeah, I think it maybe needed, maybe needed an outside
17:33
person to kind of be. Well, let's look at this plot
17:38
point. What do we want to do from here
17:39
to make it a little bit more interesting?
17:41
You know what I mean? Yeah, it's just a second set of
17:43
eyes going. There, I think, yeah, I think
17:45
they needed that for sure. OK Well, I guess ugly stuff.
17:50
I felt bad for the dog having to be like held by the collar.
17:53
Like I, I hope that they had like actual like professionals
17:58
on set as like don't hurt the stock.
18:00
Because like, there's a whole point of the movie where Ryder
18:03
has to hold on to the dog's collar and restrict it while the
18:07
guy gets out and tries to escape.
18:09
And I was feeling bad for it the entire time.
18:12
And there were points where like it's tell was wagging so I could
18:15
tell it was so happy. But like, I don't know, I didn't
18:18
like seeing it like wriggle around with its like collar
18:22
choke and because like. Yeah, we've talked.
18:24
We talked about that while it was happening.
18:26
Even Talia, she would have been doing like her.
18:27
She. Chokes Talia.
18:29
She can't help herself. She like if she's trying to go
18:32
somewhere, she is like 100% dead set on getting there.
18:35
And if you had like sometimes you have to like desperately
18:38
like stop her. So you'll have to grab the
18:39
collar and like, it'll accidentally choke her.
18:42
You know, it's not like we're trying to choke.
18:43
Her just avoid grabbing her collar that's.
18:45
Why we got her harness? Option possible yeah, we've got
18:48
her harness and if we can like bear hug her if she's going at
18:51
somebody, we'll do that instead. We don't like pulling at the
18:54
collar because it jokes her. Because believe it or not, dogs
18:58
have to breathe and stuff and they need their.
19:00
I know. Their neck tubes.
19:03
They're they're very high maintenance.
19:06
Yeah. So I just, I hated watching
19:08
that. I yeah, I think.
19:15
Yeah, I guess like the the that the torture was like the main
19:20
plot point of this, a little ugly.
19:23
Yeah, like using real people. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
19:26
Like the whole scene where Lance like fries that dude 2 times
19:29
it's just like fun. That guy's like a say this.
19:32
And it was no surprise that he wound up in that same chair.
19:37
Was that him? Yeah, that shit.
19:38
I didn't realize that was him. Yeah, no, that's why Ryder was
19:41
trying to get him out. I thought that they just
19:42
realized it was actually a real person.
19:44
Finally I was trying to. Say no, no, Ryder said.
19:47
Fuck that, man. Yeah, yeah, for real.
19:50
OK, absurd. OK so going back to the gas
19:53
station quirk guy, that whole interaction between Lance and
19:59
him, like it fucking killed me up because it's like 2 of the
20:03
dumbest people you know having a conversation with each other and
20:06
they keep confusing each other with what they're.
20:08
Saying, you know what they need? They need Mark from Scream Three
20:11
at the end where he's, like, confused about watching movies
20:14
with friends. Yeah.
20:15
What do you do? Haunted theme park Watch movies.
20:19
It's what it's just like they it's like what I what do you do
20:23
in a town like this? I'd fucking kill myself if I
20:25
was, you know, nothing to do around here.
20:27
It's like, what are you fucking stupid?
20:28
There's like all kinds of shit to do over there.
20:30
And then like that poster. Yeah.
20:31
And then you just see like Lance and it's like shot and it's
20:34
like, oh. He takes that man's only flyer,
20:37
too. I know what a fucking asshole.
20:41
That's why this guy is the way he is, because he keeps like
20:44
pointing people to attractions and they keep stealing his
20:47
fucking Flyers so he has to keep going to the backroom.
20:50
That's why it's not up there, because people keep taking the
20:52
damn Flyers. He doesn't print multiples, he
20:54
prints one at a time because he's stupid.
20:56
His computer's real old, so it takes like 30 minutes to boot up
21:00
and pull up the. File Yeah.
21:02
And then I guess the other one is the way Sean's face looks
21:06
after he gets hit with that sweatshammer.
21:07
That special effects makeup was bad.
21:10
It's like. Gave them a bottle of fake blood
21:13
I. Don't even know.
21:14
They went down. It was like all black, Yeah.
21:17
Like his whole face was like black from being hit over there.
21:21
And it's just holy shit. Like that didn't do that kind of
21:24
damage to you, dude, because it didn't do.
21:26
That not if you're still gonna Lindsay had the black, too.
21:29
But it wasn't as severe. Yeah, I just.
21:32
You're not gonna survive that. No, if it's that much blood loss
21:35
to your fucking head, yeah, that thing got caved in.
21:38
If you if they had like more venous blood, like more like
21:41
bright red to show like, you know, a head wound, it would
21:45
have been a little like they should have mixed them together.
21:47
You can also see it was super dry, yeah.
21:49
Too. Yeah, OK.
21:52
Is that it? Yeah.
21:53
All right. So I lived in Tennessee for the
21:59
1st 1011 years of my life and Hopkinsville is very close to
22:03
the Tennessee border. A lot of times you drive to
22:06
Clarksville to do bigger city things.
22:10
There's no way that these 4 kids did not realize they were in
22:14
Kentucky because the difference in the roads is drastic and
22:19
immediate. You know when you switch, when
22:23
you've crossed the line from Tennessee to Kentucky, That's
22:26
to. Be fair, it was Lance, okay?
22:28
It's like, where the fuck are we right now?
22:29
Like you're in Kentucky, dummy. Like, did you not notice how
22:33
much worse the roads got? Did you not get worried about
22:36
the axles on this car? Because if you don't hit that
22:39
border at like the right speed, you're going to go, oh, I hope
22:42
that wasn't expensive. It's bad.
22:45
Wait, so who has the worst roads it's in Kentucky or Tennessee?
22:47
Kentucky Really. Yeah, Damn it, Yeah.
22:50
When you go into Tennessee, it's all of a sudden like.
22:53
God damn it Tennessee, fuck off. 10% sales tax, baby.
22:57
They're they're using that tax. Yeah, they yeah, that's true.
23:03
I also, I mean, I call some absurdity on Lindsay thinking
23:09
it's completely normal for a hospital to just bandage your
23:14
eyes. Yeah, I know.
23:16
I was expecting her to have eye trauma at some point in the
23:19
movie and she never did so I was like this other fucker is just
23:21
like sitting here with her eyes covered.
23:24
Yeah, they didn't really. And she didn't take it off until
23:27
the very end when she hears the knives.
23:29
That's insane. Her hands weren't restricted
23:31
were. They no, no.
23:33
Yeah, what the fuck? I didn't even think about that.
23:36
It reminded me of that, the person at the end of Wrong Turn.
23:39
Five. That's yes, that's exactly what
23:41
I was thinking of too, except she actually had no eyes.
23:44
So. Yeah, exactly.
23:46
Yeah, it made sense. Yeah, yeah.
23:48
If she had like pulled off her bandages, it would just been
23:50
bleeding so man. Some dumb people in this movie.
23:54
Yeah, that was that kind of reared it a little bit for me.
23:58
It's OK. Yeah, it's OK.
23:59
It's OK. OK, well, I guess we can rate
24:04
it. Yeah.
24:04
Yeah. All right.
24:06
Yeah. I, like I said, I was pleasantly
24:07
surprised with this movie. It, you know, it's a fun watch.
24:10
I would, you know, I didn't hate watching it.
24:13
I think I'd give this a 575. 575, yeah, I think I'm probably
24:21
about a five. OK.
24:23
Like I think it's pretty solid. It's got a few things that could
24:26
clean up, but I don't hate it. It's like one that wouldn't be
24:30
offensive to have on like during the game night.
24:32
Yeah, I agree. Yeah, just throw on the TV and
24:35
just kind of watch casually, OK? Yeah, cuz there's not a lot of
24:39
plot. You don't really need to like
24:41
focus on the TV hard to understand what's happening.
24:44
Yeah, there's. People in here, I'm gonna die if
24:46
I don't. Get haunted house torture, does
24:49
it? I have one more absurd.
24:51
OK, the tiny the guy who wears the pig mask.
24:55
He is dressed like Winnie the Pooh and Winnie the Pooh butt
24:57
and honey. Oh yeah, he is, isn't he?
24:59
Yeah, you were talking about that last night.
25:01
Is that what was that his name? Tiny.
25:02
Yeah, I just called him Pig Man. Yeah, I called him Pig Mask for
25:05
most of it, and at one point I heard one of the other workers
25:09
call out to him. But I could have sworn he said
25:12
shiny. And I was a little confused
25:14
because I was like, this man, he's not shiny.
25:16
He's not shiny. He might sweat a lot, but he's,
25:18
you know. He doesn't sweat, he shines.
25:21
It's like Craig Robinson is going to have that towel on him
25:23
at all times. My.
25:24
God, great guy sweats a lot all right.
25:28
Starting average 5.375. All right, let's do it.
25:31
Let's do it. So we start off with another
25:34
sweaty man. He's smoking and driving his
25:37
truck, as you do in Kentucky. I called him Pee Paw.
25:40
Pee Paw. Yeah, he's he's your typical
25:43
little country bumpkin. Yeah, he's a tow truck driver
25:46
driving down the back roads. And this girl comes out
25:49
screaming, just puts herself in his truck and he's like, what on
25:54
earth are you screaming about? And you know what?
25:58
I can see that being a real thing.
26:01
I could too, yeah. Like, isn't that Halloween?
26:03
He's probably dealt with some dip shits.
26:05
But that's the thing though, you know how, how would you react in
26:08
this situation for real? Would you let somebody in or
26:10
would you keep driving? I would see if I just saw the
26:16
person. Yeah, just saw the person on
26:18
their own. I would sit in my car, keep it
26:22
locked, keep the windows locked. I'm calling 911 for you, babe.
26:26
If somebody comes chasing them, that's going to be a split
26:29
second decision because you read so much about these like car
26:34
traps that are set up. That's what I think of.
26:36
Yeah, I mean, I've seen videos of people doing that, you know,
26:38
like it's a gamble. That's what happened the night
26:43
before our wedding. I stayed with my older sister
26:45
and there was this guy that was said he had a what was it?
26:51
It was like a flat tire or no his battery was dead and my
26:56
sister gave him her like spare like she has one of those little
27:00
jumper things. Jumper cables.
27:01
No, not jumper cables, but it actually helps like it's a
27:04
battery. It's like a booster type thing.
27:05
Yes, booster because it was dark and she lived in a neighborhood
27:11
that wasn't super developed yet. So it was very isolated and she
27:15
was like, I don't want, I don't want any of us to get murdered
27:18
before your wedding. If it, if it takes my $30
27:21
booster to help this man out. I was like, that's the right
27:24
call Cuz you don't feel like you've left somebody like shit
27:27
out of luck on the side of the road but also you don't have.
27:31
To put yourself in danger, Yeah, that's smart.
27:34
Yeah, well anyways, it's right in this case because Pig Man
27:40
Tiny comes in, smashes the driver's side window with his
27:43
axe, and they they drive away. Do you think he wanted to be 1
27:48
of Jigsaw's? Pig nap, guys.
27:52
Yeah, and John Kramer was like you.
27:57
You're wearing an inferior mask. Yeah, he would be like a huge
28:01
critic. Of the mask gave him such a
28:02
gravelly voice. You're trying to do the the
28:05
jigsaw voice. You're wearing an inferior latex
28:09
mask. Now you sound like the person
28:11
from Murder Party Trivia. Oh, from Jack Box Games.
28:15
What if I do the spiral voice? You are wearing an inferior
28:20
latex pig mask. That sounds more like Ralph,
28:23
like God. Damn it.
28:26
All right, I'm I'm done with my voices today.
28:28
Sorry. OK, so like.
28:30
Fucking Richie tells you all. Right, we got Lindsay this is
28:35
the person that was in the truck with the people here she now has
28:39
the towel wrapped around her head these.
28:41
Captions spelled her name 5 different ways.
28:45
Did they? Yes, Patrons.
28:47
Budget patrons. If you see this on the Patreon
28:51
and it seems like I don't know how to spell Lindsay, it's
28:54
because the captions kept giving me different spellings.
28:56
I put the LY in the SAY that's that was how I spelled.
29:00
Her. That's what I did most of the
29:01
time, but there were sometimes that it was spelled with an I,
29:06
sometimes with an E at the official to B to B.
29:13
IMDb. IMDb thank you, it was Lyndsey.
29:17
OK, but well, anyways, she has her blinds folded and there's a
29:24
doctor. I thought her folds were
29:25
blinded. Yeah, that's actually probably
29:27
more appropriate. The votes were blinded and we
29:30
have a doctor that is just. Getting my dignity back.
29:34
A doctor's questioning and it's like, all right, so can you tell
29:37
me what happened? She's like, they're all dead.
29:39
They're all dead. She's like, the last thing I
29:40
remember is getting in his truck.
29:42
Yeah, because that just happened. 30 seconds.
29:44
Go dumb, dumb. Yeah, but like, did they bring
29:47
her inside the place or did they like, did he blindfold her?
29:51
Who blindfolded her? No, I don't know.
29:53
She's she's confused now, but she's like it all started.
29:57
She she's had some severe head trauma.
30:00
She has, yeah. Like she's like a miracle
30:02
surviving this. Like that guy in last breath.
30:05
Yeah, So all right, back in time, we're in Melbourne, KY.
30:09
Yeah. They are on a little road trip.
30:13
They're just they're going to. Go stay in a cabin for fall
30:16
back. That's.
30:19
Right. Why do they have to drive all
30:21
the way to Kentucky for a cabin? They're in Tennessee.
30:24
They are, but I understand when you go to a different state, we,
30:27
you know, we got Kentucky cabins up here, but we go to Tennessee
30:30
for cabins too. That's.
30:31
True, that is very true. But usually when we go to
30:33
Tennessee for cabins, it's because we're going to the
30:35
touristy, like Pigeon Forge type area.
30:38
True, true. I don't know.
30:40
I can't. I'm not from Tennessee so I
30:42
cannot answer these questions. For you, do they want a
30:44
bluegrass? Maybe there's a lot of the
30:46
twangy bluegrass music that plays in there.
30:48
Is. There is they they think that we
30:49
love that shit up here. Which to be fair.
30:52
I meant like the actual bluegrass.
30:54
Well, OK, yeah, the bluegrass is pretty nice too.
30:56
Fun Talia Fact. And if anybody was wondering,
30:58
she's allergic to bluegrass. She is.
31:00
She's allergic to everything. She's allergic to life in
31:02
general. She's.
31:03
Allergic to us? So they stop at a gas station,
31:07
and this is your typical, and this actually looks like a real
31:09
gas station from the area. Like, I mean, it, it checked all
31:13
the boxes for me. They head inside, it's Lance and
31:15
Ryder. Nobody's in there, so they're
31:18
wandering around. She's trying to find a bathroom.
31:20
He's trying to find a human. He walks into a back office and
31:23
sees a bunch of tapes. And that's another funny thing
31:25
about this movie. You know, in Parks and Rec, when
31:28
Ben Wyatt first comes to town, he goes, why does everybody in
31:30
this town use Alta Vista? Yeah, that's.
31:33
VHS tapes. Yeah.
31:35
That makes sense for security footage, I guess, not like in,
31:39
you know, the 20 teens at this point.
31:41
But I think some people still do use that.
31:43
But I mean, I don't know. I feel like in 2017 it is
31:47
cheaper to just have a cloud that you source all of your
31:51
videos to instead of buying all of these tapes and making
31:53
copies. Yes, unless you're technophobic,
31:56
then you want to stick with the thing you know, which is a lot
31:59
of older people, like the old man that is hiding in the
32:03
backroom. He comes out from a room and he
32:06
stops Lance, who's checking out the VHS saves.
32:09
This man has a point. He was like, why are you in a
32:13
space when somebody's space without permission?
32:16
Yeah, well, Lance kind of does that a lot in this.
32:19
Movie He keeps just sneaking into people's office space.
32:22
That's so rude. And you know what?
32:25
I don't care if it's an office instead of a home.
32:27
It still feels really invasive to walk into that space that's
32:30
supposed to be yours. Especially if you spend however
32:33
many hours a day at work that becomes your own little private
32:35
space. Knowing somebody who's been
32:36
there just feels violated. It is a little bit, yeah, yeah.
32:40
And they get into it a little bit here.
32:43
The the whole argument carries out into the open area, the shop
32:47
area. I love this like heel flip, heel
32:51
turn for him. I don't want to say heel turn,
32:52
but you know what I mean. Personality Swatch switch.
32:57
We got you, We got you. My scoops, OK.
33:02
He immediately directs Ryder to the bathroom.
33:05
And then he's like, what are you kids doing here?
33:09
And Lance is like, we're going to a cabin.
33:12
How do you do anything in this town?
33:14
It's super boring. And he goes, do you see that
33:16
flyer? And then that's basically it.
33:19
He doesn't tell Lance you can have that fire.
33:22
Do you see it? Yeah, he's saying, do you see
33:24
it? Do.
33:25
You got awesome. Yeah, and he's like trying to be
33:28
friendly, but he's not good at it.
33:30
But he's decided that these are these are some of the new kids.
33:33
And Lance is like, we're trying to get to Kentucky.
33:35
It's like you're in Kentucky, dummy.
33:37
Yeah. Anyway, he directs them to the
33:41
the Haunt and Sean is like, Lindsay's not going to go for
33:46
it. Yeah, Sean heads inside there
33:47
like see what's the. Hold up.
33:48
And because they have been in there a really long time, he's
33:51
like, goddamnit, Lance, did you break into some of these
33:53
offices? Yeah, goddamnit, you've done
33:54
that to every single gas station on this road trip.
33:57
And he's like, yeah, like, let's let's head it on, man.
33:59
Like it sounds like fun and something to do.
34:01
And he's like, yeah, Lindsay's totally not going to be into it.
34:04
Yeah. I get the impression that
34:05
Lindsay is a buzzkill. Yeah, they don't seem to.
34:08
Nobody seems to actually really like her that much and she's
34:13
she's basically like, I don't want to do this, but I guess
34:16
it's up to you guys. And so they're like, cool, we're
34:18
doing it. Yeah, I, I understand like
34:22
Sean's whole thing though, because he's like, it's his his
34:24
girlfriend so he wants her to have fun too, but like also
34:27
like. Lindsay doesn't know how to have
34:29
this. Is a democracy, Lindsay, like
34:30
you know, we're all trying to have fun here you.
34:32
Know three out of the four people want to go to the haunt
34:34
and go to the haunt. Yeah, you're like.
34:36
My my problem though is that they say it's only a couple
34:39
miles out of the way, but this isn't broad daylight.
34:42
They don't arrive to the hunt until it is.
34:44
Dork, dork, dark dork. Yeah, it is 9:00 PM or later.
34:48
Nope. They're around this time.
34:49
It gets dark real early. Yeah, no, but it was dark, dark,
34:52
dark, dark, dark, dark. OK.
34:57
I think it gets dark dark at around maybe 6-7 o'clock this
35:03
time. Daylight savings isn't usually
35:04
until November. Dark, dark.
35:09
I was in a fucking headspace when we watched this movie and I
35:12
think talking about it puts me back in this headspace.
35:16
I'm telling you it's 9 or later. Whatever it's late, it's it's
35:20
dark, dark. You're you're right.
35:22
They get there again. This feels very true right here
35:25
because they're it's the way that we parked for these events
35:27
in Kentucky. It's a.
35:28
Big open field. Yeah, you park in the field.
35:31
You get these fucking? Attendance in a dayglo vest.
35:34
Yeah, he's like, yeah, fucking anywhere.
35:37
It's a field. Yeah.
35:38
And he's just like you, pointing you that way.
35:40
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So they're they get out and
35:48
Lindsay's like, I'm staying here and they're like, really?
35:49
She goes, Yep, I'll have more fun here.
35:54
God, I'm so sorry everybody. We're fucking weird today.
35:57
We have wrestling brain rod again.
36:01
So yeah, they're like, OK, fine, Lindsay, you stay.
36:03
So they go and they're in line for a long time.
36:06
Lindsay's staying in the car. Psycho is just sitting there.
36:10
She's not reading a book, she's not on her phone, she's not
36:13
snooping in anybody's bags. She is sitting there.
36:16
She needs a fucking glass of milk.
36:18
That's how psychotic this woman is.
36:20
She's not right. And she looks in the rearview
36:22
mirror and she sees a guy staring at the car.
36:25
And she's a little creeped off, like, but like, he's, I don't
36:29
know, like he's standing there and looking at a car.
36:31
Maybe he's like, is there somebody in that car?
36:33
Oh, OK, cool. And then he goes about his way.
36:35
You know, I wouldn't be immediately like, holy shit, I
36:37
got to get the fuck out of here. There's this guy.
36:39
OK, if I was a woman alone in a car like Lindsay and I saw a guy
36:42
standing like that, absolutely I would get out of the way.
36:44
But OK, I, I can understand from that point, but I just from the
36:47
guys like there's a million different reasons why he would
36:50
be looking at that car because he's just like one of the
36:52
attendants here, like guiding cars around, you know what I
36:54
mean? But I I get she gets creeped out
36:57
and she decides to go and join the others.
37:00
Small moment of redemption for her.
37:02
She saw Rider left her jacket. And that's true.
37:05
That's true, she was nice there to her friend.
37:07
Because it is cold, it, well, it's hit or miss what the
37:11
temperature is going to feel like in Kentucky in October.
37:13
There have been plenty of years that we've gone to Scare Fest
37:15
and we've been super comfortable in our cosplays, even if they
37:19
are T-shirts and shorts. There are some years where it's
37:21
like, holy fuck, I'm so cold. Yeah, that's true.
37:24
Yeah, around this time, it's unpredictable.
37:27
So they're sitting in line, they think it's going to be a couple
37:30
more hours at least when this guy just pops up and he's like,
37:32
how y'all doing? Are you from out of town?
37:36
What we saw that they didn't see, obviously, is that he got a
37:39
walkie. Like, they communicated that
37:41
this group was coming to them. Yeah, they're who they're who.
37:45
So he gives them speed passes so they don't have to wait and they
37:47
can just be on their way and they think it's so cool and
37:50
they're super excited about it. And you know what?
37:52
We got a fun little montage of haunted house high jinks.
37:55
Yeah, it looks like a lot of fun.
37:57
Yeah, I'm, I'm happy for them. It seems like a good time at
38:00
first, Lance. Now it's his turn to be the
38:03
psychopath. This is cool.
38:05
I like this. They like they make it a little
38:07
bit interactive. So like they have a setup where
38:09
this person sitting in an electric chair and the lever is
38:12
on the outside and Lance, the fucking psychopath that he is,
38:16
just goes over there and like Rams it up and then the shocks
38:19
are real. Like you can see like actual
38:21
sparks flying from the guy, but like he's fucking having a great
38:25
time. They have no reason to believe
38:26
it's real at this point. Yeah, yeah, it's movie theater.
38:29
It's movie watchers. Yes.
38:30
Yeah. But here's nothing.
38:33
Even if it wasn't real, it's still an asshole move to make
38:37
this guy do those convulsions that many times for that long.
38:41
Yeah. Cuz that's got to be.
38:43
Exhausting. Yeah, yeah, you're, you're
38:45
joltin around a lot. It is a lot of movement.
38:49
And he like, goes and does it again.
38:50
Like when they're about the baby's like hold on one second
38:52
goes back and just like slams it back up.
38:55
So they get to a spot where they're just waiting for a door
38:58
to open and eventually it does. And when they get in there, they
39:02
see a woman in a torture chamber and they're just like, this is
39:04
weird, this is creepy, ha ha, ha, bye bye when the next door
39:08
opens. So that's we know what's
39:11
happening. We've seen this movie, but we
39:13
know they don't know. We're excited to see how they
39:16
find out exactly. That's where we're at with it.
39:18
So they're wondering, and then as they're going, Lance and
39:22
Ryder decide to hang back because they see this door and
39:25
Lance, the fucking out of bounds guy that he is, is like, I'm
39:28
going to go back there. We're going to go explore the
39:30
places that we're not supposed to.
39:32
Well, and explore each other's bodies in the places we're
39:35
exploring. Yes, that's right.
39:38
And the other two go forward. Yeah, they don't realize, guys.
39:40
Yeah. So Lance and Ryder are making
39:47
out in this, like, little employee hallway access way,
39:50
whatever. And then Lance realizes there's
39:53
an office, and he loves nothing more than sneaking into
39:58
somebody's office. Yeah, there's like two people in
40:00
there. They're.
40:00
Chilling. They get a call.
40:01
Yeah, they get a call that they're needed out front.
40:03
So yeah, Lance does what Lance does, which is go into this
40:06
break room and start looking at their VHS tapes, and he's, like,
40:11
watching them. And then he realizes he's also
40:12
getting a live feed of what's happening.
40:14
They're also labeled the same way as tapes were at the gas
40:17
station. Yes.
40:17
So that's not immediately suspicious of to me because it's
40:23
just dates, which that is how you would label security.
40:26
It's the handwriting too. It's the same way it's written
40:29
on there. Everything.
40:30
It's a little suspicious, yeah, if you pick up on them.
40:34
Yeah, anyway, he's watching the security footage and he sees
40:38
Lindsay and Sean get hit upside the head and then he's attacked
40:41
and then riders attacked. So this is how they're finding
40:44
out, but it's all real. They are all put in cages except
40:48
for Lance and it kind of looks like like a dog pound that's.
40:53
What I was thinking, yeah, yeah. And there's a few other like
40:57
randos there that they don't know and we never get names for.
41:00
There's the guy with the glasses and the shaved head, and he is
41:02
trying to figure out how to get his cage in locked.
41:04
And he explains that the guard dogs are trained to attack
41:08
anybody who breaks out of their cage.
41:10
Yeah, meanwhile one of the women that's in there gets dragged
41:13
away and they take her to the place where we saw the other
41:18
lady being tortured before, and now her torture is starting.
41:21
Yep. So he's got, but he's got a
41:24
plan. They're all going to have to
41:25
work together, and it's going to involve food.
41:27
Does anybody have food in their cages?
41:29
Oh yes, Ryder has a hot dog bun. Why?
41:32
Where did that come from? They're not.
41:34
It doesn't seem like they're being kept prisoner long enough
41:36
to even get like the stereotypical prisoner, stale
41:39
bred. The only thing I could suspect
41:42
is somebody snuck a hot dog in their back pocket and they got
41:47
abducted and it fell out of their back pocket when they were
41:49
being dragged out. It's.
41:50
Because you can't cancel lunch. You're not allowed to do not
41:54
allowed. To do that I think.
41:56
That's really cool. Yeah.
42:01
So we can we can kind of assume that one of these people.
42:06
No, I want this movie to be remade, but Tim Robinson is in
42:10
one of the cages. He the only logical conclusion
42:13
is he was one of the people that got abducted in this place
42:17
earlier and he has been tortured to death.
42:19
He was the guy that got electrocuted.
42:21
I just want him reacting, connecting to everything that's
42:24
going on. That is my, that is my dream
42:27
sequel. This movie.
42:30
Same everything but with Tim Robinson.
42:32
Honestly, I could do that with any genre.
42:34
I would take like Tim Robinson and plant him in any type of
42:37
movie and him just going on like, you can't do that.
42:40
What? Yeah.
42:42
I mean, you can go watch Friendship and see a comedy
42:44
drama and that'll be exactly how that plays out.
42:49
Well, anyways, they have the bread.
42:51
Yeah, yeah. So Sean goes off and he goes.
42:54
He's so nonchalant. Fuck, I'm dead.
42:58
Yep. Yep, he just.
43:00
Accepts his fate right there. Yep, Sean's dragged away.
43:03
Yeah, and he's strapped to chair.
43:05
And and my God, these macro shots like with the macro lens
43:09
where it's like super close up on his face are not doing the
43:12
effects any. Favors.
43:13
Yeah, it's. Just exposing how badly applied
43:16
it is. Yeah, that's the thing with the
43:18
fake blood is that it it can dry pretty quickly and you've got to
43:23
be conscientious of that in terms of filming and up close
43:26
shots. And yeah, it just did.
43:28
They was bad. They could have done better than
43:30
that. But I love this dude.
43:32
So we get these guys, this guy comes in and it's very, so it's
43:36
kind of got the black apron on and he's got a mask on.
43:39
And we find out later that this this is a doctor declaw.
43:43
Yeah, I can't say the other words.
43:44
So. But this is the thing that I
43:46
love the most. This guy must be like a hibachi
43:49
chef or something cuz he goes over to the knives.
43:51
He's like, you know, just like fucking like rubbing the knives
43:54
on each other, doing the hibachi grill thing.
43:56
Yeah, I was waiting for him to do an onion volcano.
43:58
Dude, if I'm gonna get tortured, I always make a show of it.
44:00
You know, like actually like. Make it fun.
44:02
Slice off my ear and toss it to somebody out in the.
44:05
Make my lips a volcano. Yeah.
44:08
You know what I mean? Like that could be fun.
44:10
Shoot sake at me and light me on fire.
44:13
Instead of sake, it's acid. Just like, yeah, that's where
44:16
the volcano comes from. Yeah, it's pretty neat.
44:20
But yeah, he gets to slice and then he just goes over to him,
44:23
takes one of the knives right to his ear and just.
44:26
So fast wops it off so fast. Yeah, it's like fucking butter.
44:29
Yeah, he cuts off his ear, he breaks his legs, he hits his
44:33
face with a meat tenderizer and causes significant tenderizers.
44:36
Trauma. It was so casual, like he like
44:38
because he did the sledgehammer thing and he just goes over.
44:40
He gets the tenderizer and moisturize just just like right
44:43
into it's like it felt almost like a backhand.
44:47
I don't know like I I like the style that he had with it.
44:49
This guy's got some style with this torture.
44:52
OK, so Ryder is responsible for luring the dog with the bread,
44:57
and then when the dog comes over, she grabs the collar.
45:01
And last, that collar was really tight.
45:02
That dog probably had enough range of motion to turn its head
45:04
a little bit and try and knit better, you know what I mean?
45:07
I was saying that too. Like that dog would have been
45:09
biting at her fingers. Yeah, for sure.
45:11
So the bald guy has figured out how to unlock his cage.
45:15
He gets out, he's. He just kicks it open.
45:18
He doesn't even unlock it the entire time he's trying to pick
45:20
the lock, but this time he just kicks the cage out and just
45:22
crawls out. Well, the dummy was also trying
45:24
to pick the lock from the ground when the lock is like standing
45:26
up. So they probably didn't even
45:27
lock his cage because they were like, this kid doesn't knocks up
45:30
from down and he grabs a board. He knocks down the security
45:34
footage and he's waiting. He's waiting to hit somebody
45:37
when they come through the door, but there are two sets of doors
45:41
and Tiny comes through the other door.
45:42
And this is this guy's best acting when he realizes how
45:45
fucked he is. Yeah, I like that.
45:47
Yeah. So they get into a little
45:49
tussle. There and the Tiny drops his
45:52
keys. Lindsay gets them, it's her and
45:55
rider out. Rider let's the dog go, and the
45:58
dog attacks the bald guy and they're.
46:00
Like bye, I know, what a fucking asshole.
46:03
At first I thought maybe she had adjusted the collar to be like
46:06
on the cage. That's what I thought too,
46:08
because that's what it looked like for a second.
46:10
But then Tiny chases them and as soon as Tiny is not there, the
46:13
dog attacks the bald guy. So whatever.
46:17
There now is a chase through the haunted maze.
46:19
They're at a distinct disadvantage because they don't
46:21
know the layout of this place, but they're running.
46:24
They get to an office at one point and they have to hide real
46:26
quick because the phone rings and somebody's coming to answer
46:29
the phone. Lindsay accidentally makes a
46:32
noise and the guy goes to investigate it, but they get
46:35
another radio call. They gotta go.
46:36
Yeah. And the radio call is them
46:38
discovering that everybody's missing from their cages.
46:42
So all of the employees have to go hunting for them.
46:46
They're this is just like a lot of running around now.
46:49
I wish we had made it. I wish we had kind of done like
46:51
a parallel to that opening montage where they're going
46:54
through the maze and like had done also a creepy little
46:59
montage, like kind of a foil, the scene foil.
47:02
Obviously, like The thing is, I think they're still, I mean,
47:06
yeah, they're still doing the thing right now.
47:08
So like, it would have been interesting to have them run
47:11
through the crowd of people, like go the opposite way while
47:14
people are going through like they're running against the
47:16
traffic. They didn't have money to do
47:18
that shot as well. They should have.
47:21
They had so many other people. I don't know.
47:22
I just think that it was a like they dropped the ball a little
47:25
bit on this because this is where it starts to feel Sammy
47:27
for me. Yeah, they're running around.
47:28
At one point they get separated, Ryder finds a machete and she
47:32
manages to stab Tiny as he's about to kill Lindsay.
47:36
So. Don't have to kill him, just
47:37
enough to, you know, incapacity and for a moment.
47:40
Also, bold move, using the machete to stab instead of like
47:44
chop. Yeah, yeah, as you do with
47:46
Machete. Yeah, that's the whole, I mean
47:47
this step. Kill, kill, kill.
47:49
Kill. Chop, chop, chop, chop to.
47:51
Be fair, Jason also steps with it.
47:54
He chops, but he steps. He's a weapon opportunist.
47:58
OK, there's the Roomba. Yep.
48:00
What's up? Yeah.
48:02
So it's a lot of that running around.
48:05
They ended up making it to the area with the electric chair.
48:09
So they do go back to that part and they climb in there and
48:14
yeah, they notice that it's glance that's in the chair this
48:16
time. And Ryder tries to get him out
48:19
and while she's holding the thing the pig mask pulls the
48:22
switch. And I guess Rider is a lot more
48:25
sensitive to electricity than Lance because he's like burnt
48:28
but he's alive. Rider dies immediately.
48:30
Yeah, it yeah. Rider die.
48:32
I thought of that last night, too.
48:34
Oh my God, I was just. Thinking if I knew that person,
48:36
I I could not like just say, are you ride or die?
48:39
That has to be her Instagram handle.
48:42
Oh yeah, definitely. So yeah, she's dead and he's,
48:48
he's going to die. I mean, we can ride him off as.
48:50
Dead at this point. I mean, he's pretty crispy.
48:52
He's well done. Oh yeah, he's, he's AI.
48:58
Don't know. I was gonna make a joke and I I
49:00
lost the part of it. So he is dead.
49:02
He's dead. So Lindsay's ran outside.
49:05
She makes it to a point where she there's like a shoot.
49:10
Yeah, we're entering Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2 territory
49:13
cuz she falls down the shoot into a body pit and dead bodies.
49:17
And these bodies have been posed, staged intricately.
49:21
Pig mask. His best Leatherface comes down
49:25
looking for her and when he can't find her, start smashing
49:28
up bodies. Yeah, just smashing them all up.
49:30
He's angry. She's hid among the bodies, but
49:33
she's impatient and she's like, OK, he's distracted, smashing
49:36
all the bodies. This is my time to go.
49:38
But she's so fucking loud about it.
49:39
I know he immediately notices. This and he chases her and they
49:43
wind up in like a cave type area at one point.
49:45
And again, like a Texas chainsaw too.
49:48
Yeah, he's attacking at her, hits a support beam and it
49:51
collapses on him. But he's totally fine, guys,
49:55
don't worry. He's.
49:57
Listen, if you all didn't watch this movie, Tiny is an ironic
50:01
name for him. He's big guy.
50:03
He's Big boy. Big boy.
50:04
Yeah. So they make it to a fence and
50:07
there's enough room for her to crawl underneath the fence.
50:09
In the wire grips. And she makes it out, he busts
50:14
through or some shit, I don't know.
50:15
And this is where it all leads back to the beginning of the
50:17
movie. She makes it to the truck and
50:20
you know how this all plays out already.
50:22
Yes, and this is where she's tying the dark blindfolded and
50:27
he. The doctor's like, whoa, it's a
50:30
good thing you had Mr. Levi here to save you.
50:32
And he's like, here, let me go get him for you.
50:34
I don't know why we need to bring Mr. Levi in for this here,
50:37
but whatever. And then you just see Mr. Levi,
50:40
old people over here, He's just like, yeah, you guys are going
50:44
to have to pay for that window. Yeah, he's like, Can you believe
50:46
that More broke my window. It's like I got to get busy to
50:50
tell when all the people are leaving now hearing.
50:53
All of this and she's still not reacting.
50:55
It isn't until she hears the knives and she's like, I know
50:58
I'm not Benihana. But she didn't see that part
51:01
before. So, like, I don't know, it's a
51:04
doctor. Is he going to do like eye
51:05
surgery? I've ever heard knives like that
51:07
at a hibachi grill? I know she's suspicious.
51:10
She has never been in a hospital where there's also a hibachi
51:13
grill. That is.
51:15
A hibachi monologue. Hibachi.
51:18
Yeah, especially, again, I got to go back to like the vegetable
51:22
flipping that they do because you're in the hospital bed.
51:24
You can't get up and move around.
51:25
They just toss little zucchinis into your.
51:27
Mouth the way to do that you know like that H hospital signs
51:30
on the roads just like put that SCH for the hibachi boom there
51:34
we go anyways yeah she's gonna she's gonna get hibachi to death
51:38
too yes and that's the end of it right there That's how that
51:41
movie goes. You know what?
51:44
I'm bumping up to 5.5 OK. Keep mine at 575.
51:49
Yeah, it's not a bad movie. It's fun.
51:52
It meanders there towards the end, but I still had a good
51:55
enough time watching it, yeah. OK, I think the main thing I
52:01
would change is just like, like I said, like some of those
52:04
little things that I said along the way, you know, maybe not do
52:07
the blindfold, figure out some other way to make it so she
52:10
can't see why isn't stupid I. Liked our idea of doing the like
52:13
running against like making them go back through the.
52:16
The maze, yeah, and the maze, like making that more of a
52:19
parallel to the early. That would have been a lot
52:21
better, yeah. Who did you relate to?
52:29
That's a good question. I I think I sort of related to
52:32
God forbid Lance for, you know, being like super into the whole
52:35
idea of doing the screen park thing, you know, like I, I
52:39
thought that was kind of cool. I, I do think it's interesting
52:44
that they came from Nashville to go and they ended up doing that.
52:47
I know that they didn't go for the whole thing, but they have
52:49
like famous places down there for this.
52:53
You have to like sign waivers for.
52:56
Yeah, I know there's that one that has like a lot of like
52:58
stories where like if you make it all the way through, you get
53:00
free. Yeah, you get your money, but
53:02
it's like 100 stories. So it's basically like 100
53:04
stories, $100 and it's like $10 per story.
53:06
I was. Going to say 100 stories.
53:08
That's a big fucking That's a skyscraper.
53:11
Can you imagine if they actually had a skyscraper for like a
53:14
haunted house? So exhausted by the time like I
53:17
I wouldn't be able to get through.
53:18
No elevators. Yeah, what was there was 1
53:21
horror movie we watched so many years ago.
53:24
But basically it was counting the rooms as they were going
53:27
through. Do you remember that?
53:28
And they were trying to get back to the beginning.
53:30
So that's how they were marking how close they were to the exit.
53:34
No, I don't remember. Oh man, that's gonna be stuck in
53:38
my head all day. If you remember, tell us.
53:41
We might find it out between now and then.
53:43
But. OK.
53:45
Anyways, yeah, I like the idea. I like this.
53:48
We haven't done one of those in a long time.
53:50
I'd love to. Yes, OK, I've yes, I probably
53:55
relate to Ryder because I would also be into the haunted house.
53:59
I always need to pee on road trips and I'm always cold.
54:02
I think I would have. And I'm very sensitive to
54:05
electricity. Well, I got like a with you,
54:11
like the whole thing with Lindsay bringing the jacket out
54:13
because like, you do like sweatpants, exchanges with
54:16
friends, you know, like, hey, like I you, I thought you wanted
54:19
to be comfortable, so here you go.
54:20
This part of Girl code? Yeah, friends don't let friends
54:23
be in jeans when they could be in sweatpants.
54:25
Yeah, OK, cool. What's next?
54:31
OK, so we did that. We've already talked about Dream
54:34
sequel Tim Robinson version of this.
54:36
Yeah, I would love to see that. Yeah, like the prequel, I guess.
54:39
Where Like how he got that hot dog bun in there?
54:42
Yeah. Yeah.
54:44
All right. I guess it's time for reviews
54:46
then. Time for reviews?
54:48
Or is it time for what was Scott's favorite part?
54:51
Yeah, Scott's favorite part. I mean, I think a scout really
54:56
did like that part with the the hibachi knives.
55:02
No, obviously. Scout has knives yourselves.
55:06
We got photographic evidence of her holding a knife, a blade.
55:09
Obviously, Scout's favorite part is the electricity room, because
55:12
that little gremlin likes to chew on string lights and
55:15
attempt to execute herself. I almost said that one, but I
55:18
knew that if I said that one, you were going to go somewhere
55:21
else. I can't fucking win this game
55:24
unless no the very the very first episode.
55:26
I won it. I won it on the very first
55:28
episode The Game. To be or not, it was not the
55:30
first episode, it was like the second or third.
55:32
Gatwop. It was Gatwop.
55:34
I won it on Gatwop. People who remember our show
55:37
better than us, let us now it. Was Gatwop.
55:39
I remember 100% because I had two of them and I had both of
55:44
the ones that you had. I had your backup also.
55:47
OK, you're right. This Scott would love that.
55:49
Yeah, she does chew on electricity, and she has shocked
55:51
herself. From it, she's eaten the
55:52
Internet. She has eaten the.
55:54
Entire Internet. Yeah, she has eaten through our
55:57
cables, gremlin. OK.
56:00
OK, so yeah, reviews. Now, now it's time for reviews.
56:03
OK, with TV or not to be we always pull a positive review
56:07
and a negative review. And I actually kind of found
56:09
some that and seem to bring up the same points but in different
56:13
ways of liking it. Interesting.
56:15
So I'm gonna start with the lower rating.
56:18
OK, this is a one out of 10, but this is also by somebody who
56:23
wrote Laverne and Shirley Sacks. So OK, take your like that's
56:27
your username. Take it with a grain of salt.
56:29
OK, People being tortured to death in a haunted house while
56:32
unsuspecting visitors watching the glass thinking it's a show
56:35
and all the people being killed can think to scream as help me
56:37
please over and over and over. Heck, I'd laugh too if I was
56:41
peeking through the glass. Them.
56:42
Why not scream? This isn't a show, it's real
56:44
call the police. But no they only scream help me
56:47
please lol. It's silly script writing
56:49
because people wouldn't act like that in that kind of situation.
56:52
The rest of this film is just as lame and nothing that hasn't
56:54
been seen before. I don't even think there's a
56:56
story here, it's just random people being tortured and
56:58
killed. I miss the days when people made
57:00
horror films for intelligent viewers, but in today's dumbed
57:04
down world this passes as entertainment.
57:06
I don't mind the torture porn flex but between gory scenes I'd
57:09
like to have a story somewhere and maybe toss and some
57:11
character development and good acting.
57:13
Mindless teens screaming over and over help me please can get
57:16
boring and makes you want to see them slaughtered just to shut
57:19
them up. Give me someone to root for.
57:22
OK, well, I did think that also like, you know, why are you like
57:27
that? Feels like you're playing into
57:28
the whole performance. You would want to make it to
57:31
where you're actually drawing attention.
57:33
So that's a valid point, but I think it's really, I don't know.
57:39
I don't know, Like, I mean, if you want a smarter horror movie,
57:41
there are those out there for you.
57:43
Like let the people who want dumb horror movies have their
57:45
dumb horror movies. Sometimes I want a fun, dumb
57:48
horror movie that I have to think too much about.
57:50
I love smart horror movies. I love dumb horror movies, you
57:52
know, like it's perfect for everybody.
57:55
But yeah, I don't know, I guess having like a story could have
57:59
been cool too. I don't know.
58:01
A little bit more of a story. There was a story which was kind
58:04
of loose. I mean, yeah, it was just they
58:06
were going to a place and they take a detour to a screen park.
58:10
Yeah. That's a that's, I mean, that's
58:12
a long. That's all you need for this
58:13
type of movie though. OK, this one's an 8 out of 10.
58:17
Absolutely loved it. Don't understand why rating for
58:20
this film is so low. What criteria is used for such
58:23
ratings? It seems horror films suffer
58:25
from this most. I feel many otherwise brilliant
58:28
horror movies are unfairly rated low.
58:30
Some people, I feel, treat movies as rocket science.
58:33
It just has to be perfect and thick.
58:35
Just about, and I think I mean tick just about every box.
58:38
Not every film is a Godfather a Dog Day afternoon.
58:41
Love this movie. It kept me at the edge of my
58:43
seat at least 80% of the time. I mean, that kind of echoed a
58:47
lot of the things we just. Yeah.
58:48
But I don't think that this is, you know, like I didn't love it,
58:53
but I had a good time with it. Yeah, you know, exactly.
58:55
It's just it's dumb fun. That's all it needs to be.
58:58
It's it is a good cozy horror movie.
59:01
Like you want to feel the fall Halloween vibes, You want to
59:05
watch people get a little bloody and scream.
59:08
This movie does that for you. Yeah.
59:10
And yeah, I we've said that so many times.
59:13
Not every movie has to be like a fucking like masterpiece.
59:17
Yeah, just let me have a good time.
59:18
Yeah, I guess that brings us to our titular question.
59:22
To be or not to? Be to be or not to be, Travis,
59:24
what say you? I say yeah, to be, to be.
59:27
I do it, check it out, especially with it getting close
59:30
to time for these to start opening up and maybe watch it
59:34
and then go do one of these little haunted houses.
59:38
Go do, Yeah, you know, like it's fun.
59:41
I had a good enough time. I wouldn't not watch it again,
59:43
like you said, like throw it on when we're doing something else
59:46
or something like that. Yeah.
59:48
All right. What about you?
59:50
Yeah, No, I agree. Absolutely.
59:52
If these people came to Scare Fest to promote local film
59:56
making, absolutely. We go to their tail and be like,
59:58
hey man, loved that movie. Well.
1:00:01
I would be like, hey man, you won my imaginary film contest.
1:00:03
Yeah, congratulations on the green ribbon.
1:00:07
I just assume you don't do blue ribbons.
1:00:08
In your mind, I assume you do green.
1:00:10
Yeah, because that's my favorite color and you can't see it, so I
1:00:13
get to keep it secret. You're actually giving me the
1:00:16
brown ribbon, but I don't know. You're like, yeah, no, I'll say,
1:00:19
do you want the green ribbon? Everybody's like, why is she so
1:00:23
happy she got the brown ribbon? OK.
1:00:28
I think that's it. Yeah, that's.
1:00:29
It that's, you know, this is fun, this is fucking fun.
1:00:32
And now we're going to talk about sinners for our movie on
1:00:35
Thursday and that's also going to be fucking fun.
1:00:38
Watch that too. Watch this, watch that.
1:00:41
Watch them both. Two different types.
1:00:44
We're going back to the yes, what we're talking about here,
1:00:46
the the good kind of horror that.
1:00:48
Yeah, the well made. Well made, Yeah.
1:00:51
I mean, this is good. It's just like this is good.
1:00:53
It's just indie. This is a, you know, bigger
1:00:55
production thing that we're going.
1:00:56
Towards yes, yes, like well backed I guess is what we maybe
1:01:01
need. To it had longer in the oven
1:01:05
yeah, yeah. Like it cooked it cooked it.
1:01:08
Cooked, son. That's what they say these days.
1:01:12
I thought I think cooked is bad No by today's no.
1:01:15
Sometimes, well. No, yeah, because people will be
1:01:17
like, am I cooked? There are two applications here.
1:01:20
He's cooked as in that person's fucking through.
1:01:22
Or hold on, bro, he's cooking, which means, hey, he's doing
1:01:25
some good shit right there. He's cooking it up.
1:01:27
OK. They they had more time cooking
1:01:29
it this time around. Look, OK, we're not going to
1:01:32
we'll see you on this day. We'll see you then all.
1:01:35
Right, thanks to our patrons. Yes, we have Joe Freakatron, as
1:01:39
is his name. Amber, Michael, Lord, Zombie,
1:01:42
Tyler, Chad, Johnny and Jason. Yeah.
1:01:44
Thank you guys. Really, really appreciate.
1:01:46
It thank you all so much. You should have your stickers by
1:01:49
about now. Ish Travis.
1:01:50
Send them out in the. Before our last episode
1:01:53
premiered. Yeah.
1:01:54
So you should have them by now. If not, let me know.
1:01:56
By now, if you want to join our bubbies that link to the
1:02:01
Patreon, as always, is at the very bottom of our show notes
1:02:04
got. Bonus episode stickers for the
1:02:06
budget tier, yeah. We say your name.
1:02:10
Yeah, and you get to vote for movies like the one that we have
1:02:13
this next week. People voted for sinners, so
1:02:15
that's why we're talking. About it, yeah, if you want to
1:02:19
show support in other ways, we'd love that too.
1:02:21
Rate review, subscribe on wherever you list in your
1:02:24
podcast. Follow us on social media.
1:02:26
That helps us too because let's be real, we kind of need social
1:02:28
media just to promote things these days.
1:02:31
You can find us on Instagram and Threads.
1:02:35
Threads. Thank you.
1:02:36
At least favorite scary movie podcast.
1:02:38
We're on blue sky at least fav pod.
1:02:40
Our website's What's your least favorite scary movie.com.
1:02:42
And if you want to e-mail us instead of DMN on the social
1:02:45
media, we get that our e-mail address is
1:02:47
leastfavoritescarymovie@gmail.com. That's right.
1:02:49
All right, OK, until Thursday. All right.
1:02:52
We'll see you guys then. Bye.
1:02:53
Bye.