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Reconstructed From Trauma To Breakthrough · Stuck No More Voices

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Hey, it's the Kingdom Enter podcast.
• 0:02
  Speaker 1: I'm so glad you're joined us again.
• 0:05
  Speaker 1: My name is Theresa Croft and I'm so excited because I've got a great guest and I'm just know you're gonna be blessed by our post.
• 0:13
  Speaker 1: So please will you help me give a warm welcome to Claire Davy.
• 0:17
  Speaker 1: Hey, claire, how's it going?
• 0:18
  Speaker 2: Hi, what's up?
• 0:19
  Speaker 2: Teresa, thank you so much for having me.
• 0:22
  Speaker 1: And I told Claire and I, as you guys know, we suck.
• 0:25
  Speaker 1: We have a cup of coffee and you get to sit in and, claire, you know I want you to tell a little bit more about yourself, but what I find is we dig deep and just talk.
• 0:33
  Speaker 1: We find the true message.
• 0:35
  Speaker 1: But let me let me preface this.
• 0:37
  Speaker 1: You struggle with trauma.
• 0:39
  Speaker 1: Trauma can Rob your voice, so why not?
• 0:42
  Speaker 1: We'll get into your backstory, but why don't you tell us a little bit more about yourself?
• 0:47
  Speaker 2: Yeah, so I am a wife.
• 0:50
  Speaker 2: I have been with my husband for 19 years.
• 0:53
  Speaker 2: We've been married 16 years.
• 0:55
  Speaker 1: That's great.
• 0:56
  Speaker 2: We have four children 24, 14, 12 and 7 and we live in Palm Beach, florida.
• 1:03
  Speaker 2: Have also I forgot Nala, my precious golden retriever.
• 1:08
  Speaker 2: She's all and I love her so much.
• 1:10
  Speaker 2: Yeah, we, we live in Florida and I I'm just passionate about helping women find Spiritual transformation.
• 1:22
  Speaker 2: Just really breakthrough, right like.
• 1:25
  Speaker 2: I love your message with our voice.
• 1:28
  Speaker 2: Yeah you survivor and I help women just Release the pain of their past and raise for the places of devastation in their heart and rebuild a beautiful life in Christ.
• 1:43
  Speaker 2: And really, as a coach and a course creator and Author, a speaker, I have my podcast.
• 1:51
  Speaker 2: That is how I, you know, do that.
• 1:53
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 1:55
  Speaker 2: You know various ways, but, as a survivor myself, trauma and I think it you know, you touched on that earlier it's been, it's been my entire life, like I don't know.
• 2:09
  Speaker 2: Like for the first 17 years of my life I had so much trauma and and then, at 27, working as a school counselor, I Was triggered and it started to show up and I was to deal with it.
• 2:26
  Speaker 2: I was forced with it and yeah, I mean gosh, I could go a million places, I could let me say this you've got to follow Claire on Instagram I.
• 2:38
  Speaker 1: One thing I love about Claire's passion is we have the same passion and that's video and and she could go live on Instagram and be dropping bombs all over the place.
• 2:47
  Speaker 1: So are you at the reconstructed woman on Facebook?
• 2:51
  Speaker 1: Are you, claire Davey?
• 2:53
  Speaker 2: I am Both.
• 2:55
  Speaker 2: I tend to I have a bigger following on my Claire Davey my okay, but I know that build that Professional on.
• 3:02
  Speaker 2: I like Instagram for whatever reason.
• 3:04
  Speaker 2: It feels yeah and small, and so I need to be better on it.
• 3:08
  Speaker 2: But I am both, so you could find me about.
• 3:10
  Speaker 2: Typically will go live from both from both.
• 3:13
  Speaker 1: Okay, you know I love Instagram too, because they give us filters on bad days.
• 3:19
  Speaker 2: I've got a filter on right now.
• 3:20
  Speaker 2: It's built in this and I'm like.
• 3:21
  Speaker 2: I know my skin doesn't look like this, but Our voice are the same, so if you ever see me in public, I might look a little different.
• 3:29
  Speaker 1: A little more briefly so I met Claire Davey at a Conference, a speaker Academy that was before a conference and it was called the Radiance Speaker Academy.
• 3:40
  Speaker 1: Is that right?
• 3:41
  Speaker 1: Yeah, that's where I immediately connected with her with her message About trauma and you know a survivor of childhood trauma.
• 3:51
  Speaker 1: But the final day I love it.
• 3:53
  Speaker 1: She came out with a tool belt and all these tools and I was like, okay, this is my kind of woman to bring it out, bring the, bring the tools out.
• 4:02
  Speaker 1: Yet there you go.
• 4:03
  Speaker 1: But I Share the excitement of that because we also were real blessed to go to a conference called activate of girl power alliance, which we're both associated with.
• 4:15
  Speaker 1: So what?
• 4:15
  Speaker 1: Let me just talk to you.
• 4:16
  Speaker 1: What was it?
• 4:17
  Speaker 1: You know you speak a lot.
• 4:18
  Speaker 1: What was like that, going on stage and speaking from that place?
• 4:23
  Speaker 2: Yeah, so I started speaking in 2020.
• 4:26
  Speaker 2: But look, 2020, the world was shut down, so I had to learn how to speak virtually and it was horrible.
• 4:33
  Speaker 2: I sounded like an infomercial.
• 4:35
  Speaker 2: It was awful.
• 4:37
  Speaker 2: I was so bad, so bad and I hated it because I'm you know, you're staring at yourself and the screen and all the things.
• 4:45
  Speaker 2: So I was, you know.
• 4:49
  Speaker 2: Once the world started, you know, opening up, I began and speaking in churches and some women's conferences, and so I consider myself a new speaker a couple years, not that seasoned, I like to ramble and Say all the things, and so that's why I joined girl power alliance, because I was like, wow, I want to join the speaker academy, sharp in my speaking skills, and I just fell in love with the formula.
• 5:17
  Speaker 2: They gave us, the tools, they gave us the yeah, concise and being clear, and like I needed that.
• 5:23
  Speaker 1: I.
• 5:24
  Speaker 2: Wanted that because I could talk for hours and then the stage didn't scare me that much.
• 5:32
  Speaker 2: Just so much like how am I going to get this down to 10 minutes?
• 5:38
  Speaker 2: And I got that day, I did it 15 minutes, the first day.
• 5:44
  Speaker 1: So it was like it's like someone would say uh, therese, how do you feel?
• 5:49
  Speaker 1: I'm the opposite.
• 5:49
  Speaker 1: I've spoke mostly on radio and here, but I know I love stages and I've spoken on some small stages and they're like are you worried?
• 5:58
  Speaker 1: I'll start to say I'm worried, oh, you'll do fine.
• 6:01
  Speaker 1: I said no, no, let me complete my sentence.
• 6:03
  Speaker 1: We have 10 minutes and I love to tell stories, so it's okay.
• 6:09
  Speaker 1: Where do I get my point in?
• 6:10
  Speaker 1: I'm just gonna tell you a story.
• 6:12
  Speaker 1: So, anyway, and you are on stages and then 2020 had to learn to speak online.
• 6:19
  Speaker 1: Is that what you're saying?
• 6:20
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, but the Kim 10 is one of the hardest things I've ever had to do, that's honest.
• 6:24
  Speaker 2: I've been through every type of abuse and literally almost died so many times.
• 6:30
  Speaker 2: This was the hardest thing, but you know what I love the stage.
• 6:35
  Speaker 2: I love when I first realized.
• 6:38
  Speaker 2: I mean, I was terrified when I did start speaking.
• 6:41
  Speaker 2: So after I remember going, oh my gosh, I was made for that.
• 6:48
  Speaker 2: I love that.
• 6:49
  Speaker 2: Like, how can I do that more and create all this content?
• 6:55
  Speaker 2: Because I wanted to feed the women everything that the Lord's taught me over the last 11 years.
• 6:59
  Speaker 2: But I really am at a place in my life, even though I just launched my online business, that I'm like Lord, can I just speak?
• 7:07
  Speaker 2: Like, can I just do that?
• 7:09
  Speaker 2: You know, I would just do that if I could.
• 7:12
  Speaker 1: But that's beautiful and you're talking my language and what I focus on.
• 7:17
  Speaker 1: But let me go.
• 7:18
  Speaker 1: Let's talk about trauma.
• 7:19
  Speaker 1: I lost my husband.
• 7:21
  Speaker 1: It's not my identity, but I didn't realize how trauma can, better way, take residents in your body and you start to see side effects, like my side effects, claire, where my eyes wouldn't stop watering.
• 7:35
  Speaker 1: I felt okay, though that's the thing.
• 7:36
  Speaker 1: I was like, oh my gosh, I'm a Jesus and I quit drinking.
• 7:39
  Speaker 1: I was really feeling okay, but I found this lethargy.
• 7:42
  Speaker 1: Come on me.
• 7:42
  Speaker 1: I was a substitute and I'm like in the middle of a gym and a volleyball game is going back and forth and I'm like I'm going to fall asleep.
• 7:49
  Speaker 1: Come on, trace, stay awake.
• 7:51
  Speaker 1: So that was trauma in my body.
• 7:53
  Speaker 1: So we used to speak to someone who may.
• 7:55
  Speaker 1: How do you know that you have trauma in the body and what's the systematic best way, because I know God doesn't want us how can we identify it and then make steps to remove that trauma?
• 8:09
  Speaker 1: Oops, sorry.
• 8:12
  Speaker 2: It's okay.
• 8:12
  Speaker 2: I think the first thing to understand is that your trauma is going to show up in your body differently than it's going to show up in mind.
• 8:21
  Speaker 2: It can have similarities, but for the most part it can show up in so many physical ways Are you there?
• 8:31
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm just off stage.
• 8:40
  Speaker 2: Okay, so basically, it's funny you say that because I was working as a school counselor and I had to test children periodically for academic standardized tests and I would fall asleep too, fatigue.
• 8:54
  Speaker 2: Wow, for me personally, I'll give you a couple of ways.
• 8:58
  Speaker 2: For me, I was sexually, spiritually, ritually and physically abused, and so I've had every kind of abuse.
• 9:05
  Speaker 2: There's not any that you could tell me that I haven't experienced.
• 9:08
  Speaker 2: So it showed up for me in severe fatigue and severe headaches, my stomach constipation I mean not to be gross, but in my body I could feel the body memories, not to get graphic, but especially when you're dealing with sexual abuse and so it showed up in my body so many ways and I had an ulcer as well, and just it will show up in different ways.
• 9:46
  Speaker 2: This way I tell women who are dealing with autoimmune or dealing with even cancer.
• 9:51
  Speaker 2: The first thing I ask them is do you have childhood trauma?
• 9:56
  Speaker 2: Because when we don't deal with it, it does take up residence.
• 10:02
  Speaker 2: Wow, it's about this.
• 10:03
  Speaker 2: Our bodies were never created for the destruction that happens when trauma is inflicted on us, and that is why Satan uses it.
• 10:13
  Speaker 2: It shows what it does to us.
• 10:16
  Speaker 2: It brings damage and devastation, as God says in Thessalonians he says may the God himself sanctify your entire body and spirit.
• 10:32
  Speaker 2: We know that we are three like the triune God, father, son, holy Spirit and that we have to address each area and invite Yeshua Jesus into each area.
• 10:47
  Speaker 2: He can come and cleanse and remove and he does the work.
• 10:53
  Speaker 2: We invite and use our intentional will and our free will to say come in and clean up, and essentially that's what the Reconstructive Woman is all about.
• 11:04
  Speaker 2: Let's remodel these areas in our soul, model these areas in our body.
• 11:13
  Speaker 1: I think it's good to be honest, and so as we bring to light our struggles, we're not trying to talk about them, but as we bring them to the light, we know they're covered in the blood and you may be struggling with something and think, oh okay, you know, I was in kind of a messy marriage, Claire, and I think it was kept getting what I thought were UTIs.
• 11:35
  Speaker 1: Those are how I like having a baby three times.
• 11:39
  Speaker 1: So finally I just got to the doctor and I went again and the nurse said let's check cultures.
• 11:44
  Speaker 1: And then she started looking all on the computer.
• 11:49
  Speaker 1: I wasn't having UTIs.
• 11:52
  Speaker 1: There's something called interstitial psiatis that is triggered by trauma.
• 11:56
  Speaker 1: Of course, if you eat spicy foods, that'll trigger it.
• 11:59
  Speaker 1: And, like at first part, I was like I was relieved and the second part was whoa, I'm going to have to take control of my emotions.
• 12:07
  Speaker 1: Yeah, don't drink the Chick-fil-A Arnold Palmer's.
• 12:10
  Speaker 1: They got too much sugar in them, but I mean.
• 12:13
  Speaker 1: So if I had anything to trigger immediately, I started getting bladder pain.
• 12:19
  Speaker 1: The beautiful thing is that I was able to learn that while I was married and then, even after going through a real sad I mean, he died of pancreatic cancer.
• 12:28
  Speaker 1: Some identity, but even.
• 12:30
  Speaker 1: But do you know what?
• 12:31
  Speaker 1: As I've worked through therapy, I have not had one of those Wow, To me that's I want to wave a victory.
• 12:37
  Speaker 1: That's an issue for your friend listening, Maybe you need to, maybe you just I mean, Claire, I know you know how to talk to people, to cleanse and walk through healing.
• 12:51
  Speaker 1: Let's touch on that.
• 12:53
  Speaker 1: You touched on a little bit, let's go through a little.
• 12:55
  Speaker 1: Let me ask you I personally think you need help.
• 13:00
  Speaker 1: I mean, I got a therapist, a neuropsychologist oh my gosh, you can't get out of this alone.
• 13:06
  Speaker 2: Thank you, I spent six to eight hours in therapy, okay, summer a week?
• 13:14
  Speaker 2: Wow, okay, and I am out there public.
• 13:19
  Speaker 2: I've been speaking, I've been leading, but you guys, so we got to check the pride at the door and realize that, in order to heal, we need to get humble and honest.
• 13:33
  Speaker 2: Yeah, we need to say I need help and I'm hurting.
• 13:35
  Speaker 2: The problem is is the abusers shame you for hurting?
• 13:39
  Speaker 2: They abuse you, they shame you and then they say, oh, you're so broken, and then that level of shame produces stigma.
• 13:47
  Speaker 2: Well, I can't let anyone know that I'm hurting.
• 13:49
  Speaker 2: No, bump that and bump the religious mindsets that you hate Christ, because Christ is enough.
• 13:58
  Speaker 2: However, he gave us people, community sisterhood, experts, right to support us, and so that's basic.
• 14:12
  Speaker 2: But I'll tell you, so many people can't get past that first step.
• 14:16
  Speaker 1: Right because they think somebody was what's so and so in church going to say I really feel for those who are in ministry leadership, yes, where they can't really they all.
• 14:27
  Speaker 1: I'm on stage worshiping every night day and I really heard for those people they need safe places.
• 14:33
  Speaker 2: But I got it first, teresa, because, like I said I, I didn't go into ministry until my.
• 14:40
  Speaker 2: My healing began 11 years ago.
• 14:43
  Speaker 1: Wow.
• 14:43
  Speaker 2: And I go into heal, into ministry until 2018.
• 14:47
  Speaker 2: And God, I had that conversation with God.
• 14:51
  Speaker 2: Well, is anyone going to want to come to me for help?
• 14:54
  Speaker 2: Like I don't.
• 14:55
  Speaker 2: You know you can't help out of an oozing, bloody wound, but you can help out of a scar and you're helping out of a scar.
• 15:05
  Speaker 2: Oh, I have a scar in this area.
• 15:06
  Speaker 2: I may be wounded in this area.
• 15:08
  Speaker 2: I'm not going to process this with you while I'm wounded, but I can process ABCDE that I have come through, and so we need to take all of that pressure off us as coaches, counselors, ministry you know these titles like, because some, so many of the people are actually putting that before the work and they're not going to be able to stand or prevail because you know they're going to that running away from the healing and presenting that they're one way, and so, if that's you like, no shame.
• 15:47
  Speaker 2: I did that in my career as a school counselor.
• 15:49
  Speaker 2: I'm a good school counselor and I don't need to do anything.
• 15:52
  Speaker 2: I'm successful.
• 15:52
  Speaker 2: I have it all together, but I was broken.
• 15:56
  Speaker 2: Yeah, someone else is saying, not mine and so give yourself the compassion and the love.
• 16:03
  Speaker 1: Hmm.
• 16:04
  Speaker 2: You just, whatever you are, and praise to know that God, your heavenly Father, wants to heal you and he's so sorry for what happened to you.
• 16:13
  Speaker 2: Yes, he waits for you and your free will to invite him in and to take action.
• 16:20
  Speaker 1: Yes, that's so good this falls so well with my heart to help women speak, whether online or on stage, because I have a course.
• 16:31
  Speaker 1: But the first part of the course is all mental.
• 16:33
  Speaker 1: I mean, we don't want you and this is me speaking we don't want you speaking from your wound, like when I was going through my husband got caught on fire and then three months later he was stage four pancreatic cancer.
• 16:47
  Speaker 1: I didn't, I was not on my face.
• 16:50
  Speaker 1: Now I could write because I'm processing.
• 16:53
  Speaker 1: Anything I write is processed through the Holy Spirit and I'm not bleeding.
• 16:56
  Speaker 1: But you know, you may be so passionate to go forward with speaking and everything, but please make sure your heart is I'm.
• 17:06
  Speaker 1: This isn't a performance thing, just make sure that God is helping you deal with things.
• 17:11
  Speaker 1: I think you can, as you're healing, like I'm still healing, but you know when God releases you, right, claire?
• 17:17
  Speaker 1: You know when he releases you and you only speak like I'm not.
• 17:21
  Speaker 1: I can't speak as deep as Claire on this issue, but I can invite guests like this to really dig down to the bones and skin of this.
• 17:30
  Speaker 1: So what would you say to someone who knows they have a message Okay and they really want to release it, but two things One, they feel controlled at home by their husband, and two, they still have some childhood problems.
• 17:43
  Speaker 1: What would you say to that?
• 17:47
  Speaker 2: Healing.
• 17:48
  Speaker 2: All of that baggage is going to be the catalyst that propels you to be able to deliver your message, because, essentially, your message is going to be found in that, in the breakthrough, in the freedom that you gain in the transformation.
• 18:07
  Speaker 2: So you have got to face that and deal with that and know that it's because of those very things that you're silent.
• 18:20
  Speaker 2: It's because of those very things that you are manipulated and you may have felt like your voice has been stolen, because it has.
• 18:31
  Speaker 2: And the only way that you can take your voice back is by facing those fears, and sometimes that means calling the coach, calling a therapist Exactly who are speaking right, or just getting getting using your voice to your husband and saying, no, I'm just rolling the line here and I'm not going to be manipulated.
• 18:55
  Speaker 1: And I'll take full responsibility.
• 18:57
  Speaker 1: I always say this, but I don't say it enough that I wish I would have stood up for myself more.
• 19:03
  Speaker 2: We all do.
• 19:04
  Speaker 2: We all do Me too.
• 19:06
  Speaker 2: How many things can I put up?
• 19:08
  Speaker 2: I'm sure everyone out there, but when you go, through responsibility.
• 19:13
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 19:14
  Speaker 2: But it's.
• 19:14
  Speaker 2: But when you're controlled, manipulated and abused and I don't know your full story, teresa, because I was in and out at the Kim Jensen, so but to the viewers, like, how, give your, take responsibility, yes, yes, yes, but also give yourself grace not to be enabled and stay at that.
• 19:37
  Speaker 2: The grace is the ability to overcome so good.
• 19:42
  Speaker 1: It's different, so good.
• 19:44
  Speaker 1: Hmm, the grace to overcome that is so well.
• 19:47
  Speaker 1: And I will say a lot of times you're in a, if you're in that kind of relationship, you don't realize how much the mind game is going and you're getting gaslighted and you're, you know, and you just like then when you realize it's like okay, backup I'm.
• 20:01
  Speaker 1: You know I'm dealing with something that I'm going to have to do the best, but at least I think the best thing is when you identify it.
• 20:09
  Speaker 1: I wish I would have identified it sooner.
• 20:12
  Speaker 1: Everyone else did, but me, so anyway.
• 20:15
  Speaker 1: So when you're in that, environment.
• 20:18
  Speaker 2: I always say get around other.
• 20:20
  Speaker 2: In your case, you're talking to wives, excuse me Right.
• 20:24
  Speaker 2: In my case I'm talking to survivors, you know, okay, Get around a different environment so you see that there is something different.
• 20:34
  Speaker 2: Oh, wait a minute Now.
• 20:35
  Speaker 2: I know we're not supposed to compare, but we're supposed to observe and say, um, that's not how a godly man should, you know, treat his wife.
• 20:47
  Speaker 2: That's not how a godly father should treat his daughter, you know?
• 20:51
  Speaker 2: Just throwing it out there, I mean, I'm used by my dad.
• 20:54
  Speaker 2: So, that's my story, but yeah.
• 20:57
  Speaker 1: I could speak to the problem that I had that I think many women had.
• 21:00
  Speaker 1: We're getting down and dirty on this one.
• 21:02
  Speaker 1: Like.
• 21:03
  Speaker 1: My husband got married to me and that was all he needed as his friend.
• 21:06
  Speaker 1: I saw a video recently that shows the.
• 21:11
  Speaker 1: I wish I could speak the the research how women have something that they need.
• 21:16
  Speaker 1: Other women Men don't need that same.
• 21:18
  Speaker 1: I wish I could remember what that does make sense.
• 21:21
  Speaker 1: My husband's like I always thought if he just.
• 21:24
  Speaker 1: I always thought whenever I do spend time with my girlfriends without the control, I come back such a better wife.
• 21:31
  Speaker 1: But when you you get married to someone who thinks all they need is you and doesn't like you having other friends, that becomes a trap, and so I want to encourage someone if that's you find a way to reach out to someone If they leave, like I.
• 21:49
  Speaker 1: There was a period where I found someone I had to wait till he left.
• 21:53
  Speaker 1: He left the.
• 21:55
  Speaker 1: He didn't work regularly, it's a construction, so he's around a lot, so I had to wait till he left the door and then get on the phone.
• 22:01
  Speaker 1: I need some help there.
• 22:01
  Speaker 1: You know I'm just talking to maybe a wife, right?
• 22:04
  Speaker 1: We're talking to a wide range of people that this may hit Claire, so I don't know.
• 22:10
  Speaker 1: Can you relate?
• 22:11
  Speaker 1: Can you speak to that?
• 22:13
  Speaker 2: Yeah, like being controlled my whole life.
• 22:15
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah, I can't I.
• 22:19
  Speaker 2: Yes, holy spirit, where do we start?
• 22:22
  Speaker 2: Uh, yeah, I think that I'll tell you how it.
• 22:26
  Speaker 2: It showed up for me in the most harmful way.
• 22:29
  Speaker 2: Well, one in my marriage, because then I became controlling and early on and thought, you know, I never had a voice back then.
• 22:37
  Speaker 2: So then I'm going to be the one to take charge because my husband is amazing, and he was is not controlling, and all that and I had to learn really quick, but that's not okay.
• 22:46
  Speaker 2: So maybe that's for someone, but also it affected my relationship with God, because I thought that God was going to control me.
• 22:53
  Speaker 2: My parents sure did.
• 22:55
  Speaker 2: My whole life.
• 22:56
  Speaker 2: They manipulated me, abused me, brainwashed me, mind controlled me.
• 23:03
  Speaker 2: It's a whole other conversation.
• 23:05
  Speaker 2: However, I thought well, god, if you want me to do something, it's just gonna happen.
• 23:13
  Speaker 2: I mean, I had to come out of so many dysfunctional, limiting beliefs and I had to learn action.
• 23:22
  Speaker 2: One of the things the Lord said to me is it's in the acts.
• 23:25
  Speaker 2: It's in the acts.
• 23:25
  Speaker 2: I was flipping through the Bible in the acts going, yeah, in the acts the action player like I was used to the talk and the show and the fake, and then behind the doors it's all hell.
• 23:40
  Speaker 2: So I was like, oh, you actually have to.
• 23:44
  Speaker 2: You know, take action.
• 23:46
  Speaker 2: So, surrounding yourself with safe people that are healthy and whole and look different than controlled, is it uncomfortable at first?
• 24:00
  Speaker 2: Yeah, but you can't grow in comfort, surrounding yourself with other people and saying, oh wow, like I just would see other friends, I would see how other parents treated their children, and I'm like, oh wait, we're not supposed to be.
• 24:15
  Speaker 1: You know you're abused your whole life.
• 24:16
  Speaker 2: You don't know what's wrong and what's right.
• 24:19
  Speaker 2: Even though you have that innate knowing, you're so manipulated and controlled.
• 24:26
  Speaker 1: You know, as far as friends and stuff, that's what was so freeing this past weekend.
• 24:31
  Speaker 1: I didn't have a lot of friends.
• 24:33
  Speaker 1: I'm learning to get friends now, and when Michelle called me up after the first day and then I had all these people praying for me, it's like.
• 24:42
  Speaker 1: It's like something broke.
• 24:43
  Speaker 1: Like Teresa, you can have friends.
• 24:46
  Speaker 1: That was so healing for me.
• 24:50
  Speaker 1: And you know, I'm at an age where it takes me to be vulnerable to say you're at that age and you're just now learning to get friends.
• 25:01
  Speaker 1: Yes, I love it.
• 25:04
  Speaker 1: I love it, but I love how God, you know, only God can connect you.
• 25:09
  Speaker 1: Like my therapist, I call her, but we've continued on after and she's become such a dear friend All during the speaker Academy.
• 25:19
  Speaker 1: I'm, like you know, texting her and she's talking to me and just to have someone walk through that.
• 25:25
  Speaker 1: You know I was so precious and Jenny Hadfield was my roommate and you know, jenny, I prayed, for I said I had a couple of things I prayed and one of them was Lord, let me just make one really good friend, yeah, and let the presence of Jesus just go with me that weekend, because I knew I wasn't working the business.
• 25:46
  Speaker 1: I had my own issues at the time and I was the first night Claire and we were out eating and you know, jenny, I'm like you did this fast.
• 25:55
  Speaker 1: I have found a friend.
• 25:57
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I love it.
• 25:59
  Speaker 2: I just I could cry because, like I understand that life, I understand that, yeah, I just cry and don't worry, it's not a wound, it's just maybe a scar, because no, I mean, I've had, I've had some good friends, but like I lost my family.
• 26:15
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 26:17
  Speaker 2: And to to lose my, my siblings and my parents and my extended family.
• 26:23
  Speaker 2: It was hard for me to to trust again.
• 26:29
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 26:30
  Speaker 2: I don't think you're alone, and I don't care how old you are when you're finding that, because I bet there's a million women out there that wish they could say that at your age.
• 26:41
  Speaker 2: And we all encounter different walls and build different walls based on the things that we have been through in the past.
• 26:51
  Speaker 1: That's good.
• 26:52
  Speaker 2: I am just happy that God, you know, connected us and connected Jenny, and I can tell you that I felt the same way.
• 27:02
  Speaker 1: Okay.
• 27:02
  Speaker 2: And I I was at the Girl Power Alliance, I joined to be the speaker you know the speaker Academy for that and I left, I'm going all in and I've just launched the reconstructed woman and because of the sisterhood, because of who they are, that they.
• 27:18
  Speaker 2: It's been hard, you know, to find women that are not reconstructed women or don't want to be reconstructed women.
• 27:27
  Speaker 2: So they are jealous and they're caddy or they gossip or they tear you down or they judge you and like, even in circles, like and we don't have that in girl power, it's not tolerated.
• 27:38
  Speaker 1: Mm-hmm.
• 27:39
  Speaker 2: So I'm like yes, please, and thank you.
• 27:42
  Speaker 1: That's so good.
• 27:43
  Speaker 1: So there'll be a link in the show notes about girl power lines, but there'll also be a link.
• 27:48
  Speaker 1: You have a book available, claire.
• 27:50
  Speaker 1: Tell us about.
• 27:52
  Speaker 1: Tell us about your book.
• 27:54
  Speaker 2: Yes, okay.
• 27:55
  Speaker 2: So if you go to WWWTTRWcom, get this book for free.
• 28:00
  Speaker 2: It is awesome.
• 28:01
  Speaker 2: It's a woman.
• 28:02
  Speaker 2: Blueprints for a beautiful life.
• 28:04
  Speaker 2: Oh, it's behind me too, so it's awesome.
• 28:07
  Speaker 2: Three part framework.
• 28:09
  Speaker 1: Okay.
• 28:09
  Speaker 2: How to a blueprint, blueprints for a beautiful life.
• 28:12
  Speaker 2: How do you release?
• 28:14
  Speaker 2: So we've talked about how do we release, where do we start, how do we restore and how do we rebuild, and it top touches on topics such as Release, pride, release, fear, release, denial like I'm gonna go over the yeah, shame, grief, repentance, reaping spiritual rewards, release, forgiveness, restoring beauty, restoring your heart, faith, intimacy with God, your identity and Rebuilding.
• 28:45
  Speaker 2: There's a chapter on missional motherhood and rebuilding a beautiful life in Christ and it's free.
• 28:50
  Speaker 2: So please go get it, because I say even men could benefit, or any human, even if you don't have abuse.
• 28:59
  Speaker 1: Yeah, that's good.
• 29:00
  Speaker 1: I'll make that in the show notes too, if you missed that, that website that she just mentioned, we'll get.
• 29:05
  Speaker 1: Make sure we go to the show notes.
• 29:07
  Speaker 1: Okay, we want you to get that.
• 29:09
  Speaker 1: We want that in your hand.
• 29:10
  Speaker 1: It's funny.
• 29:11
  Speaker 1: You said Restore and repair.
• 29:14
  Speaker 1: I didn't get it in the second night, the second day, because I didn't.
• 29:17
  Speaker 1: But the whole emphasis of my healing has come from Amos 9, verse 11, which says I'll restore the house of David.
• 29:26
  Speaker 1: I will repair its walls, restores from its ruins and will rebuild it as it used to be.
• 29:32
  Speaker 1: And I believe, like you said, the repair Is really forgiveness.
• 29:37
  Speaker 1: But we know the.
• 29:38
  Speaker 1: The scientific fact is that's where the forgiveness.
• 29:43
  Speaker 1: You still may have trauma in your body, so it's a product.
• 29:46
  Speaker 1: Forgiveness is a process, but it immediately goes into the restore.
• 29:50
  Speaker 1: I think really the restore is what we've talked about, is the bedrock of your intimate relationship with Jesus and you get help and then you know what the rebuild is.
• 30:00
  Speaker 1: I'm so excited about the rebuild process.
• 30:03
  Speaker 1: It's it's expectancy mode, like research shows that when you walk in expectancy it changes the structure of your brain.
• 30:09
  Speaker 1: What does that mean?
• 30:11
  Speaker 1: It means, from a place of Thanksgiving, you're expecting God to act, even though you have no evidence above you, but you're expecting it from that Thanksgiving.
• 30:20
  Speaker 1: You look at Jesus.
• 30:22
  Speaker 1: He was the greatest example.
• 30:23
  Speaker 1: He had 5,000 to feed, five loaves to fish.
• 30:26
  Speaker 1: I can just see him.
• 30:27
  Speaker 1: We got guys, okay, let's, let's do it.
• 30:29
  Speaker 1: And what did he do?
• 30:30
  Speaker 1: He offered up Thanksgiving.
• 30:32
  Speaker 1: Look at Moses.
• 30:33
  Speaker 1: He called those things that were not as though they were.
• 30:35
  Speaker 1: Look at Sarah after she got Done laughing her.
• 30:38
  Speaker 1: It says in Hebrews 11, verse 11 in the passion, her faith Embraced the miracle working power of God, even though she was there and even though she's past the age of childbearing.
• 30:49
  Speaker 1: But you know what she did?
• 30:50
  Speaker 1: Her faith Rested in the one who promised and then she tapped into his faithfulness.
• 30:56
  Speaker 1: So there's a lot to be said in the healing of having compassion and learning how to rest, because I don't know about you, claire, but part of my Therapy was the thought I'm not good enough.
• 31:08
  Speaker 1: So if you don't feel like you don't good enough, everything you do, you strive and you and there.
• 31:14
  Speaker 1: So get this structure from Claire's book.
• 31:17
  Speaker 1: This is a great tool and those steps I guarantee you.
• 31:21
  Speaker 1: I'm a witness.
• 31:22
  Speaker 1: They have help.
• 31:24
  Speaker 1: They've helped me when I was married, yeah, and right after I went through it.
• 31:28
  Speaker 1: I started the Kingdom Mentor Academy but I had to drop it to take care of my husband.
• 31:32
  Speaker 1: So now I'm waiting.
• 31:34
  Speaker 1: And then I'm thinking, wait a minute, this Kim 10 thing I didn't talk about it.
• 31:38
  Speaker 1: But the last day is like, okay, I'm just walking it out.
• 31:43
  Speaker 1: Yeah, there's so much Hope for you, my friend.
• 31:47
  Speaker 1: If you're listening on the podcast you you can't see a smile and but there is so much hope.
• 31:53
  Speaker 1: Yes, there is so go get the book of Claire's.
• 31:59
  Speaker 1: Claire.
• 32:00
  Speaker 1: How can they connect to you on on Instagram or how can they connect to you in even deeper, more way?
• 32:05
  Speaker 2: Yeah, so I also have a course that goes with the book that is online and pre-recorded.
• 32:14
  Speaker 1: Wow.
• 32:15
  Speaker 2: You go to that website to get the book and you get the book put your information in.
• 32:18
  Speaker 2: It will guide you there, and I also have a monthly membership that just launched called the Toolbox, and that's filled with resources, live prayer, live coaching, a group and individuals.
• 32:30
  Speaker 2: So there's plenty of ways that you can connect to me, with me, and I can provide you resources through that.
• 32:38
  Speaker 2: But also on social media, I am on the Reconstructive Woman at Instagram and I am at Claire Davy and the Reconstructive Woman at Facebook and I think I'm on TikTok too.
• 32:52
  Speaker 2: My assistant posts that, okay.
• 32:55
  Speaker 1: I think, if you're like me, I think the best way is Claire's really open to DMs, so DM her on Instagram If you are like hey, I want to get in your membership.
• 33:04
  Speaker 1: Hey, instead of us throwing all these links at you Because I love it.
• 33:09
  Speaker 1: I think Instagram is wonderful because if someone DMs you, it gets their attention.
• 33:13
  Speaker 1: They'll be boundaries, but that's how I met some of my best friends.
• 33:19
  Speaker 2: I love it for that.
• 33:20
  Speaker 1: Three from Australia.
• 33:22
  Speaker 1: I love that.
• 33:23
  Speaker 2: And you have the voice too, and Instagram.
• 33:24
  Speaker 2: I don't know if Facebook has that, but you can voice them and connect them.
• 33:31
  Speaker 1: Yeah, it's so nice.
• 33:32
  Speaker 1: So anyway, I could talk social media.
• 33:34
  Speaker 1: Claire and Davy, thank you so much for taking time out of your busy schedule.
• 33:40
  Speaker 1: It's just been man.
• 33:42
  Speaker 1: I just look forward to connecting with you more.
• 33:44
  Speaker 1: That's the beauty.
• 33:45
  Speaker 1: Once you get connected in this GPA thing, it's like you're connected.
• 33:48
  Speaker 1: I guess I get into it with one thing for you.
• 33:51
  Speaker 1: And now my therapist worked through this with me.
• 33:55
  Speaker 1: Before I went about, I said find your people as a myth.
• 34:00
  Speaker 1: Now she worked with me and she let me know hey, are we in community?
• 34:03
  Speaker 1: Yes, you and I are.
• 34:05
  Speaker 1: She was like community may look different right now.
• 34:07
  Speaker 1: So community may look different.
• 34:09
  Speaker 1: But let me tell you, did you?
• 34:10
  Speaker 1: I tell you, I met some three amazing friends from Australia.
• 34:13
  Speaker 1: How do we talk?
• 34:14
  Speaker 1: We'd Instagram, we'd Zoom, but when I went to Girl Power Alliance and this activate and saw, I thought, oh my gosh, I think I found some of my people and I was like I thought I was a myth.
• 34:27
  Speaker 1: You know, I was reading this book Find your People by Jenny Allen and I got halfway and I couldn't stand it.
• 34:33
  Speaker 1: I couldn't start reading it anymore.
• 34:34
  Speaker 1: I was like she's got something that I don't see me of it, you know.
• 34:37
  Speaker 1: So that's for someone frustrated and who's really looking to find your people.
• 34:42
  Speaker 2: So good, so true.
• 34:43
  Speaker 2: Thank you so much for having me.
• 34:45
  Speaker 1: Yeah, thank you, and thanks for letting me ramble with you and get all excited and how I go on for hours.
• 34:52
  Speaker 2: You know that girl.
• 34:53
  Speaker 1: And we'll have you on again because that was too much fun.
• 34:56
  Speaker 1: Thank you, Claren.
• 34:57
  Speaker 1: Hey, thank you for listening to the Kingdom Mentor Academy.
• 34:59
  Speaker 1: You know it.
• 35:00
  Speaker 1: Please share it on Instagram, write a review.
• 35:05
  Speaker 1: That helps us go farther and further.
• 35:07
  Speaker 1: And hey, thank you for listening.
• 35:09
  Speaker 1: I'll talk to you in the next episode of the Kingdom Mentor podcast.