Latest / The Good People Project: Kindness, Service & Community / Mentoring First-Gen Students: The Quiet Work of Showing Up | The Good People Project
Transcript
- I still remember the exact moment my first mentee realized she didn’t have to apologize for being there. She was sitting in a cramped campus library, staring at a syllabus like it was written in ancient Greek, and I saw her shoulders drop—not from defeat, but from the sudden, heavy relief of finally being seen. Let’s get real about what it costs to care, because caring for a first-generation college student isn’t just about helping them pass a chemistry test or writing a better cover letter. It’s about navigating a world that wasn’t built with their maps in hand. When you mentor someone who is the first in their family to step onto a university campus, you aren’t just offering advice. You are offering translation. You are translating the unspoken rules, the hidden expectations, the subtle social cues that seem obvious to everyone else but feel like foreign languages to your mentee. I think about this often when I hear people talk about 'giving back.' There’s a tendency to want to fix things quickly, to hand over a solution and move on. But mentorship is slow. It’s messy. It requires you to sit in the discomfort of not knowing the answer alongside them. Last year, I spoke with a young woman named Elena, who was terrified to email her professor because she thought asking for an extension would make her look stupid or lazy. That fear? It wasn’t about laziness. It was about imposter syndrome so deep it felt like a physical weight. My job wasn’t to tell her she was smart. My job was to help her understand that asking for help is part of the curriculum, not a deviation from it. So many well-meaning volunteers jump into mentorship programs thinking they need to be experts. They worry they don’t have the right degree, or the perfect career path, or enough time to give proper guidance. But here is the truth that surprised me early on in my own journey: expertise is secondary to presence. The most valuable thing you can offer a first-generation student is not your resume, but your humanity. These students are often carrying immense pressure. They might be sending money home to family members who sacrificed everything to get them here. They might be feeling torn between two worlds—too educated for their old neighborhood, too working-class for their new one. It’s a lonely place to be. When you show up consistently, you become an anchor. You remind them that they belong. This isn’t about charity. It’s about solidarity. It’s about recognizing that talent is evenly distributed, but opportunity is not. By sharing your experience, including your failures, you normalize the struggle. You let them know that stumbling is part of the climb, not a sign that they’ve fallen off the path. I want to take a moment to talk about vulnerability, because it’s the bridge that connects us all. When I started mentoring, I thought I needed to have it all together. I wanted to project confidence, success, stability. But my mentees could see through that. They needed someone real. So, I started sharing my own stories of doubt. I told them about the times I felt out of place in boardrooms, the times I cried in my car after a meeting, the times I questioned if I was good enough. And do you know what happened? Their eyes lit up. They leaned in. Because suddenly, I wasn’t some distant figure of authority. I was a person who had navigated similar waters. This shift changed everything. It created space for them to share their own fears without shame. When we strip away the pretense, we create room for genuine connection. And that connection is where the magic happens. It’s where a student realizes they are not alone in their confusion. It’s where they find the courage to ask for the resources they need, whether it’s financial aid counseling, mental health support, or just a friend to call when the pressure gets too high. Now, I know what you’re thinking. 'This sounds beautiful, Felicia, but how do I actually start? Where does this land in your spirit?' If you’re feeling called to this work, here is my practical advice. Start small. Consistency matters more than grand gestures. Commit to thirty minutes a week. Show up on time. Listen more than you speak. Ask questions like, 'What’s one thing that felt overwhelming this week?' instead of 'How are your grades?' Also, pay attention to the systemic barriers these students face. Don’t just offer emotional support; help them navigate institutional hurdles. Maybe it’s explaining how to read a course catalog. Maybe it’s advocating for them when they feel dismissed by administration. Be their ally in the system, while also empowering them to eventually become their own advocates. Remember, the goal isn’t to save them. The goal is to walk beside them until they find their own strength. It’s a delicate balance, but it’s worth every ounce of energy you put into it. There is something profoundly healing about watching a first-generation student thrive. It’s not just about their individual success; it’s about the ripple effect. When one person breaks through, they open doors for others. They become role models for their siblings, their cousins, their friends. They change the narrative in their families and communities. I’ve seen it happen time and again. A young man who once struggled to speak up in class starts leading group projects. A young woman who felt guilty for taking time for herself begins setting boundaries with her employers. This transformation is quiet, but it is powerful. It shifts the culture. It challenges the idea that intelligence or potential is tied to privilege. As mentors, we are planting seeds. We may not see the full tree grow, but we know it’s there. We trust the process. We trust that our presence matters, even when we don’t see immediate results. Sometimes, the most important thing you can do is simply be there, holding space for their dreams until they are ready to claim them. I’ll leave you with this thought. Mentorship is not a transaction. It is a relationship. It requires patience, empathy, and a willingness to be changed by the experience. You might find that you learn as much from your mentee as they learn from you. They might teach you resilience, perspective, and the true meaning of community. They might challenge your assumptions and expand your heart. If you’ve ever wondered if you have enough to give, I hope this episode reminds you that you do. You have your story. You have your time. You have your willingness to listen. These are gifts that cannot be bought or measured. They are the currency of connection. So, take a breath. Look around. Who needs your voice? Who needs your support? The work is waiting, and it is sacred. Let’s get real about the cost, but let’s also celebrate the joy of showing up. Thank you for letting me into your day. Thank you for listening, for caring, and for being part of this community. Until next time, keep showing up. I’m rooting for you, always. Love to you.