Latest / WOC and Allies: Business and Career Realtalk with Elaine Lou Cartas / 93: Growth Doesn't Always Mean More, Bigger and Better. How to Redefine "Growth" to Align for You

Transcript

93: Growth Doesn't Always Mean More, Bigger and Better. How to Redefine "Growth" to Align for You · WOC and Allies: Business and Career Realtalk with Elaine Lou Cartas

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_00: What a night.
• 0:01
  SPEAKER_00: I am here at the Double Tree Hilton eating a cookie because they give it to you for free.
• 0:06
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm holding my podcast mic because one, apparently it's a really cool thing to do.
• 0:12
  SPEAKER_00: It's a trend.
• 0:12
  SPEAKER_00: And second, I'll just be honest, I forgot my stand.
• 0:15
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm holding it as if I'm a singer.
• 0:18
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm a really bad Filipino.
• 0:20
  SPEAKER_00: I don't have a really great voice.
• 0:22
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm living out my fake Filipino dreams, pretending I'm a singer by holding this mic.
• 0:28
  SPEAKER_00: So let me just have my moment.
• 0:30
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm at the Double Tree Hilton because I just got off coaching 17 female dentists.
• 0:37
  SPEAKER_00: They're just incredible.
• 0:39
  SPEAKER_00: And this past week I just had a powerful conversation with my business and career mastermind clients.
• 0:48
  SPEAKER_00: I have office hours every Wednesday.
• 0:51
  SPEAKER_00: And the first and third Wednesday of each month, I host office hours.
• 0:54
  SPEAKER_00: And the second and fourth Wednesday of each month, it's different team members, whether it's Scabby with Systems and Operations, Monica with Marketing, or with Irene for intuitive guidance and psychic sessions.
• 1:06
  SPEAKER_00: And I have done podcast episodes with all of them.
• 1:10
  SPEAKER_00: So you can check them out here.
• 1:11
  SPEAKER_00: But this past Wednesday, it was just my favorite one, talking about success.
• 1:17
  SPEAKER_00: And it was interesting.
• 1:18
  SPEAKER_00: It's the same theme that I had with a dentist that I was talking to today.
• 1:23
  SPEAKER_00: And it was talking about this so-called definition of success, of doing the most, doing more, and you will be rewarded.
• 1:33
  SPEAKER_00: I work with a lot of clients who didn't have much.
• 1:38
  SPEAKER_00: In fact, they had less.
• 1:40
  SPEAKER_00: So they became an overachieving woman like you, who's listening, who did the most.
• 1:47
  SPEAKER_00: So they can succeed, they could get what they want, they have options.
• 1:51
  SPEAKER_00: But here's what happens after the hamster will of perpetual working burnout happens.
• 1:58
  SPEAKER_00: And then the question becomes is this success?
• 2:02
  SPEAKER_00: Was this worth it?
• 2:03
  SPEAKER_00: And then the booming answer, no.
• 2:06
  SPEAKER_00: So what does this mean?
• 2:07
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, yes.
• 2:08
  SPEAKER_00: So we are going there in this podcast episode.
• 2:12
  SPEAKER_00: I am recording this at 10 p.m.
• 2:15
  SPEAKER_00: on a Friday night.
• 2:16
  SPEAKER_00: I know it's like Elaine, wait, we're about to talk about like, what if success isn't what you thought it is, but you are recording this at 10 p.m.
• 2:24
  SPEAKER_00: You know what?
• 2:24
  SPEAKER_00: I intuitively knew, I intuitively knew that after coaching tonight with these dentists, that I was just gonna be in this mode of podcast recording.
• 2:36
  SPEAKER_00: Um, plus my hair and makeup looks incredible right now.
• 2:39
  SPEAKER_00: So I was like, I'm gonna record.
• 2:41
  SPEAKER_00: And as soon as I got to my hotel room, I was drafting up what I was gonna say in this podcast.
• 2:45
  SPEAKER_00: I was like, yep, I'm in the mood.
• 2:46
  SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna record.
• 2:47
  SPEAKER_00: So I am considering this fun.
• 2:50
  SPEAKER_00: Mind you, let's say college years, because I'm actually in Irvine.
• 2:54
  SPEAKER_00: I went to UC Irvine.
• 2:55
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I would be disappointed myself because uh college years, I was out partying and here I am, 10 p.m.
• 3:01
  SPEAKER_00: recording this podcast episode.
• 3:03
  SPEAKER_00: I am grown.
• 3:04
  SPEAKER_00: This is what success looks like, college, Elaine.
• 3:07
  SPEAKER_00: All right, all right, all right.
• 3:08
  SPEAKER_00: Let's get back to the podcast episode.
• 3:10
  SPEAKER_00: But before I drop the beat, do me a favor.
• 3:13
  SPEAKER_00: Leave me a rating and review on whatever streaming platform you're listening to, whether it's Apple, Spotify, whatever it is.
• 3:22
  SPEAKER_00: It's gonna help more women of color and allies like you listen to this incredible resource.
• 3:26
  SPEAKER_00: It's just gonna take two minutes of your time.
• 3:28
  SPEAKER_00: That's it.
• 3:28
  SPEAKER_00: All right, now, DJ, let's drop the beat.
• 3:32
  SPEAKER_00: Hey, I'm Elaine Lucartas.
• 3:34
  SPEAKER_00: I'm a business and career coach for women of color and allies.
• 3:38
  SPEAKER_00: LA Weekly awarded me the number one thought leader, and Apple News named me one of the top five business coaches.
• 3:46
  SPEAKER_00: Done doing the most as a woman of color or ally, and you want to create your own definition of success and happiness?
• 3:55
  SPEAKER_00: Well, grab your coffee tea or boba and let's do some business and career real talk.
• 4:04
  SPEAKER_00: So, what do you do next when you realize this isn't the so-called success and happiness you want?
• 4:11
  SPEAKER_00: Well, I want to actually coach you through this.
• 4:14
  SPEAKER_00: You are welcome.
• 4:15
  SPEAKER_00: And what I would do with my clients, because this has been a theme showing up lately.
• 4:22
  SPEAKER_00: For some reason, it is the summer of identity crisis and questioning.
• 4:27
  SPEAKER_00: But you know what?
• 4:28
  SPEAKER_00: Let's celebrate that because the first step is awareness, and then the second step is aligned action.
• 4:34
  SPEAKER_00: So, first, we're gonna like take it from the micro to the macro, which is what are the three important goals in your life right now, and not just in your career or business, but your life.
• 4:50
  SPEAKER_00: So here are common themes I've heard from clients lately, and maybe you could relate.
• 4:54
  SPEAKER_00: So we're just gonna have like a pretend client, right?
• 4:57
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe these are three goals for this person.
• 4:59
  SPEAKER_00: Goal one is to be more present as a parent.
• 5:02
  SPEAKER_00: Goal two, to take care of your health health, and goal three, to grow your business or get to the next level of your career.
• 5:12
  SPEAKER_00: And so often what I hear is this tug of war with that goal number three, to get to the next level of your career business.
• 5:21
  SPEAKER_00: But you acknowledge that it is detrimental to the personal goals of being a present parent and health.
• 5:30
  SPEAKER_00: And lately I have been challenging my clients to answer this question what does next level of your career business mean?
• 5:39
  SPEAKER_00: And here are common answers I hear.
• 5:40
  SPEAKER_00: Next title more money, bigger office, more offices.
• 5:45
  SPEAKER_00: Then I've asked, what if we can make sure your career and business can help support you to take better care of your personal goals, like your health, and be a more present parent.
• 5:59
  SPEAKER_00: So then what needs to happen?
• 6:01
  SPEAKER_00: So for example, I was feeling burnt out earlier this year and I was looking at my finances and I slashed off 50% of my business expenses.
• 6:11
  SPEAKER_00: And it was just, I already felt better doing that.
• 6:14
  SPEAKER_00: But that also meant really difficult conversations, having a leaner team.
• 6:19
  SPEAKER_00: Because I was realizing it was like this perpetual hamster wheel and asking these questions of did I really need this role?
• 6:25
  SPEAKER_00: Did I really need these services?
• 6:27
  SPEAKER_00: Did I even need like all these tech subscriptions that I subscribe to?
• 6:32
  SPEAKER_00: And if this tech subscription is not what I need, how can I downsize it?
• 6:36
  SPEAKER_00: Like, for example, I was using an email platform.
• 6:39
  SPEAKER_00: It was costing$100 a month.
• 6:42
  SPEAKER_00: I found another email platform, which was$29 a month.
• 6:45
  SPEAKER_00: So that is a difference of about$70 a month.
• 6:49
  SPEAKER_00: $70 times 12.
• 6:51
  SPEAKER_00: Can't do the math in the top of my head because it's a Friday night,$700,$800 a year.
• 6:55
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe I don't need to buy anything with that, but I could put that into my savings.
• 6:59
  SPEAKER_00: I could put that into my retirement.
• 7:00
  SPEAKER_00: But I started doing things like that.
• 7:04
  SPEAKER_00: And another thing I owned, and I've shared this in other podcasts.
• 7:08
  SPEAKER_00: I don't need to be like this, like a Tony Robbins, where like the big name where it's like, like I don't want that type of business.
• 7:15
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm not saying anything to Tony Robbins.
• 7:18
  SPEAKER_00: I think he's a great coach, but that's not the model I want.
• 7:21
  SPEAKER_00: I realize what I want.
• 7:23
  SPEAKER_00: And I've owned the fact that I only want to work with a limited number of individual clients, which is 24 B2C clients, because I care about quality.
• 7:32
  SPEAKER_00: I care about my client results and my client experiences and to make more revenues to work more with B2B companies where I'm licensing my curriculum and my workshops to support their leaders.
• 7:45
  SPEAKER_00: So I am going to be direct with you, the listener.
• 7:48
  SPEAKER_00: You want to get to that next level of your business or career, but at what expense to your personal life?
• 7:54
  SPEAKER_00: Then I want to challenge you.
• 7:56
  SPEAKER_00: What if the next level isn't that new title or new revenue?
• 8:00
  SPEAKER_00: And what if it's how can you create your business or career to match the life you want?
• 8:05
  SPEAKER_00: So, what does that mean?
• 8:06
  SPEAKER_00: How can you think outside of the box?
• 8:08
  SPEAKER_00: And that's what I want you to consider doing.
• 8:12
  SPEAKER_00: What are steps you can take?
• 8:14
  SPEAKER_00: What if it is to see?
• 8:16
  SPEAKER_00: Like, for example, I was coaching someone earlier today.
• 8:19
  SPEAKER_00: They wanted to open up a new office and get more staff members.
• 8:23
  SPEAKER_00: And I was sharing, okay, but you feel you seem like you're overwhelmed.
• 8:27
  SPEAKER_00: So what can we start doing?
• 8:28
  SPEAKER_00: We start talking about SOPs, which is system operating procedures and how we create more SO, not just more, but creating SOPs where it's more organized and people in the team understand what they're doing in their roles, how it could be easier.
• 8:43
  SPEAKER_00: And then if they're putting out fires, putting systems into place for that.
• 8:47
  SPEAKER_00: So if you notice that a client is asking the consistent question, what can you do?
• 8:53
  SPEAKER_00: Like you could put a list of scripts in terms of how to respond to that.
• 8:56
  SPEAKER_00: Or if you notice that a certain group is not converting, why aren't they?
• 9:02
  SPEAKER_00: For example, it was January of this year and no, not January of this year, it was January of like a couple of years ago.
• 9:08
  SPEAKER_00: And I had 30 sales calls.
• 9:10
  SPEAKER_00: It was two years ago.
• 9:11
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, it was two years ago.
• 9:12
  SPEAKER_00: I had 30 sales calls and I was exhausted.
• 9:15
  SPEAKER_00: And only like two of them converted.
• 9:17
  SPEAKER_00: I was like, what is going on?
• 9:20
  SPEAKER_00: And I had to think outside of the box, okay, it's because the common theme they've shared is that they couldn't afford me.
• 9:25
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, how can I prevent them from not having a call with me?
• 9:30
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, let me put that in the questionnaire.
• 9:32
  SPEAKER_00: Like, here's my price point.
• 9:33
  SPEAKER_00: So I put that in my form.
• 9:35
  SPEAKER_00: And then since then, it's it's helped reduce where I have a higher conversion rate.
• 9:41
  SPEAKER_00: And even now, when people schedule to call with me and they do not have the budget to work with me, I respond back to honor both your time and my time.
• 9:50
  SPEAKER_00: I've canceled our call.
• 9:51
  SPEAKER_00: If you want free resources, check out my podcast.
• 9:55
  SPEAKER_00: And that has saved me time, not just my time, but also the other person's time.
• 10:00
  SPEAKER_00: But that's what I mean.
• 10:01
  SPEAKER_00: If you're noticing problems or issues happening in your business or career, what can you shift or change?
• 10:06
  SPEAKER_00: If you have a full-time job, what I'm noticing with a lot of clients, like how can they create more boundaries?
• 10:12
  SPEAKER_00: How can they manage up?
• 10:14
  SPEAKER_00: Legacy leader.
• 10:16
  SPEAKER_00: I know what you're thinking.
• 10:17
  SPEAKER_00: Elaine, you have such good stuff here.
• 10:20
  SPEAKER_00: I want more.
• 10:21
  SPEAKER_00: So if you want more tips and advice for your business career in life, sign up for my gifts and gifts newsletter at elaneli.com forward slash join.
• 10:32
  SPEAKER_00: That's J-O-I-N.
• 10:34
  SPEAKER_00: And here's three things you'll get when you join, because I'm like Santa Claus.
• 10:39
  SPEAKER_00: I love giving.
• 10:40
  SPEAKER_00: Number one, funny gifts.
• 10:42
  SPEAKER_00: Cause who doesn't love memes and pop culture references?
• 10:46
  SPEAKER_00: This newsletter is so fetch.
• 10:48
  SPEAKER_00: Number two, receive actionable gifts.
• 10:51
  SPEAKER_00: That's business, career, and life tips that you can start doing today.
• 10:56
  SPEAKER_00: Third, the gift of me.
• 10:58
  SPEAKER_00: Not only do you get my wins, but also my failures, my reflections.
• 11:03
  SPEAKER_00: My gifts and gifts newsletter is like an up-to-date diary.
• 11:06
  SPEAKER_00: Think Zenga or Life Journal for my fellow millennials, where I share vulnerable stories, relatable mistakes, and important life tips like what to watch on Netflix.
• 11:18
  SPEAKER_00: Like when's the next Bridgeton season?
• 11:20
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• 11:32
  SPEAKER_00: That's J O I N.
• 11:34
  SPEAKER_00: All right, let's get back to the episode.
• 11:40
  SPEAKER_00: So starting to practice in terms of okay, here are the key stakeholders that I'm working with.
• 11:44
  SPEAKER_00: How do they like being communicated?
• 11:46
  SPEAKER_00: What's the language I could use?
• 11:48
  SPEAKER_00: What do they need?
• 11:50
  SPEAKER_00: So starting to see things internally of what shifts and things you can change.
• 11:56
  SPEAKER_00: And even for some of my clients, they're realizing, you know what, I'm good here as a VP or as a director.
• 12:03
  SPEAKER_00: I don't need to get to C-suite because so often people are fed, like be C-suite, like that means you've made it.
• 12:09
  SPEAKER_00: That means you're successful.
• 12:11
  SPEAKER_00: But they're realizing I can make more impact and influence here in this job.
• 12:16
  SPEAKER_00: I also don't want more responsibilities where I'm traveling constantly and that's going to take away time from my family.
• 12:22
  SPEAKER_00: So I've had clients own that.
• 12:24
  SPEAKER_00: I've had clients who are business owners who are working on selling their company because they'll just be happy to sell it and go travel and live their life.
• 12:31
  SPEAKER_00: They don't need to go through this endless growing of their career.
• 12:35
  SPEAKER_00: They're just like, I just want to chill, and that's okay.
• 12:39
  SPEAKER_00: And to kind of think about it as I'm talking about all of this, do you know who I admire most from the tech industry?
• 12:45
  SPEAKER_00: And it's not Elon Musk, it's not Mark Zuckerberg.
• 12:49
  SPEAKER_00: Respect them for the work they've done.
• 12:51
  SPEAKER_00: But who I envy right now is the first friend by My from MySpace.
• 12:56
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 12:57
  SPEAKER_00: Our first friend from MySpace, which is Tom.
• 13:00
  SPEAKER_00: Do you remember Tom, the founder of MySpace?
• 13:03
  SPEAKER_00: Exactly.
• 13:04
  SPEAKER_00: You're like, oh yeah, Tom, he made like the top eight list and he was number one.
• 13:10
  SPEAKER_00: And he has an Instagram account called MySpace Tom.
• 13:15
  SPEAKER_00: Go check it out.
• 13:16
  SPEAKER_00: I actually checked it out before hitting record.
• 13:18
  SPEAKER_00: And he has not posted since 2017.
• 13:23
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, that's 2017.
• 13:25
  SPEAKER_00: And if you look at his Instagram, he is living his life, not having to post or perform, but just living it.
• 13:33
  SPEAKER_00: What a life.
• 13:34
  SPEAKER_00: I am jealous.
• 13:35
  SPEAKER_00: So let's go back.
• 13:37
  SPEAKER_00: I want to make this actionable.
• 13:39
  SPEAKER_00: I am not trying to be a Debbie Downer.
• 13:41
  SPEAKER_00: I what I'm trying to do in this podcast episode is to have you think of what you want.
• 13:48
  SPEAKER_00: What are the three goals you want in life?
• 13:52
  SPEAKER_00: And if it is getting to the quote unquote next level of your career business, what does next level mean?
• 13:58
  SPEAKER_00: And if next level in your career and business is holding you back from your personal goals, then maybe next level of your career and business means to find a way on how your career could support your personal goals.
• 14:11
  SPEAKER_00: And if that's the case, what's the first step you can do to do that?
• 14:15
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe as a business owner, it's understanding your PL reports.
• 14:18
  SPEAKER_00: I've been there.
• 14:19
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe in your career it's okay, what boundaries can I create?
• 14:24
  SPEAKER_00: What stakeholders do I need to have a better influence with?
• 14:27
  SPEAKER_00: Or maybe I'm in a company that's just not supporting my personal goals and I need to leave.
• 14:31
  SPEAKER_00: And hey, the first step is awareness.
• 14:34
  SPEAKER_00: The second step, what things can you shift and change?
• 14:38
  SPEAKER_00: And being mindful, what does success look like in this season of life?
• 14:43
  SPEAKER_00: For example, in in this season of life right now, my dad just had his left knee surgery.
• 14:49
  SPEAKER_00: He's getting his second knee surgery.
• 14:51
  SPEAKER_00: So success to me means being able to go to all of my dad's doctor appointments and advocate for him, being able to take days off to drive.
• 15:00
  SPEAKER_00: He's I we just got a home.
• 15:03
  SPEAKER_00: So I am like 90 minutes to two hours away.
• 15:06
  SPEAKER_00: But to be able to not work for a day or not work all day, and I am completely happy with that.
• 15:12
  SPEAKER_00: It is a choice, my choice for me to show up for that, to be there for him.
• 15:18
  SPEAKER_00: And if you need further support in understanding what is this new definition of success for you in this stage of life, then schedule an introductory business and career review call with me at elaneelew.com forward slash call and see if it's a good fit to work together.
• 15:36
  SPEAKER_00: You could also click on the link in the show notes.
• 15:39
  SPEAKER_00: And if you aren't ready to invest, that's completely fine.
• 15:42
  SPEAKER_00: One takeaway I want to give you I've been I recommended it to all of the dentists I met today is listening read or reading rest is resistance by Trisha Hershey.
• 15:56
  SPEAKER_00: She's known as the map nap minister.
• 15:59
  SPEAKER_00: She literally gets paid a lot of money to do workshops for people to nap.
• 16:04
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, I know you're laughing, but look, how often do we pause, rest, and question if this life we're creating is aligned to what we want and not what society and other people want.
• 16:16
  SPEAKER_00: So I highly suggest the power of pausing and resting.
• 16:20
  SPEAKER_00: And you might be like, Elaine, I don't have time for that.
• 16:23
  SPEAKER_00: I don't have time to rest.
• 16:25
  SPEAKER_00: But that's how capitalism works.
• 16:28
  SPEAKER_00: Makes you work a lot and I even think and pause what you really want.
• 16:32
  SPEAKER_00: And if you don't listen to that itty bitty shitty committee, aka your mind, your conscious, your body will tell you.
• 16:41
  SPEAKER_00: They'll either tell you through a diagnosis or simply not getting out of bed.
• 16:45
  SPEAKER_00: That happened to me.
• 16:47
  SPEAKER_00: I remember a couple years ago, I was supposed to go to my niece's nutcracker performance and I couldn't get out of bed because I was so tired.
• 16:54
  SPEAKER_00: I was sleeping all day.
• 16:56
  SPEAKER_00: So pause, rest, reflect.
• 16:59
  SPEAKER_00: Think about the three important goals that you want in your life right now.
• 17:02
  SPEAKER_00: And you're probably asking why three?
• 17:04
  SPEAKER_00: It's just how human brain works.
• 17:06
  SPEAKER_00: Three red, yellow, green, three, two, one.
• 17:10
  SPEAKER_00: Think about phone numbers.
• 17:11
  SPEAKER_00: They're grouped into threes.
• 17:13
  SPEAKER_00: So give yourself time to pause, rest, and journal.
• 17:17
  SPEAKER_00: What is your definition of success in the season?
• 17:20
  SPEAKER_00: And make sure it's your voice, no one else's.
• 17:23
  SPEAKER_00: I am sending you so much love to create aligned action for your definition of success.
• 17:32
  SPEAKER_00: I hope this episode got you thinking.
• 17:35
  SPEAKER_00: And I get it, you probably just want to throw your phone and just go on about your day because I triggered you.
• 17:40
  SPEAKER_00: I did not mean to, by the way.
• 17:42
  SPEAKER_00: But let me remind you the power of pausing and being honest with yourself.
• 17:46
  SPEAKER_00: And if you found this podcast episode helpful, here are four things you can do if you feel called to do them.
• 17:52
  SPEAKER_00: Number one, if you could leave a five-star rating and review, that would mean so much to me and my team.
• 17:59
  SPEAKER_00: We created this podcast episode for accessible education for women of color and allies.
• 18:05
  SPEAKER_00: Each episode takes about four hours to create, takes me one hour to prep, and another 30 minutes to one hour to record.
• 18:11
  SPEAKER_00: Then my team spends another two hours to edit and market.
• 18:15
  SPEAKER_00: And number two, because I care about accessible education, share this with a friend who is struggling right now and just needs to hear from someone that's been through it.
• 18:25
  SPEAKER_00: Number three, don't forget to hit that follow subscribe button because when you do, it lets a streaming platform you're listening to right now let other women of color and allies like you know how important this podcast episode is to women of color and allies like you.
• 18:40
  SPEAKER_00: And number four, if you need support in your career or business and you're interested in working with me, I only bring in two to four new clients each month to ensure each client receives the results they deserve.
• 18:53
  SPEAKER_00: So you can schedule an introductory legacy business and career review call at elanelu.com forward slash call.
• 19:02
  SPEAKER_00: That's e-l-a-i at e l o dot com forward slash call.