Latest / The You Project / #2173 Navigating New Relationships - Tiff and Scotty

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#2173 Navigating New Relationships - Tiff and Scotty · The You Project

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: I got a teram. It's bloody Harps. It's a You Project.
• 0:03
  Speaker 1: It's a Wednesday, it's a bit cold at six o
• 0:05
  Speaker 1: three and the PM. I feel like I'm back doing radio.
• 0:07
  Speaker 1: That's right, it's the You Project with Craig Harper.
• 0:10
  Speaker 2: Coming up next, It's Tiff and Scott all day, all
• 0:13
  Speaker 2: night here on Melbourne's positive alternative Jumbo FM. Up next hour,
• 0:18
  Speaker 2: We've got a fucking killer Hi, tiv high Harps. Is
• 0:24
  Speaker 2: that Muttley you've got in the background there? Hello, Scott?
• 0:31
  Speaker 3: Good evening, mister Harper.
• 0:32
  Speaker 1: How are you look? I'm oh you and your best behavior.
• 0:35
  Speaker 1: You've been reprimanded, you've been warned, You've been given parameters
• 0:40
  Speaker 1: to work within because I think maybe you're good lady
• 0:43
  Speaker 1: friends are it's going to say good light, lady wife,
• 0:47
  Speaker 1: but I don't want to preampt that, but fingers crossed,
• 0:49
  Speaker 1: hurry the fuck up. We've been We've told you not
• 0:55
  Speaker 1: to talk too much, so but I don't want you to,
• 0:57
  Speaker 1: you know, hold back. At the same time, is he
• 1:01
  Speaker 1: if I have noticed when you towour together you are
• 1:05
  Speaker 1: a little bit of a different person because you're straight
• 1:08
  Speaker 1: up chatty Kathy. But when old fucking gobbedy mc gobsters
• 1:13
  Speaker 1: in town. You're just you're just a little field mouse
• 1:17
  Speaker 1: over there. Yeah, okay, mate, you okay with that?
• 1:24
  Speaker 4: Oh? You know, every now and then, once I've got
• 1:28
  Speaker 4: both of you in the vicinity, I'm just.
• 1:33
  Speaker 1: Come on, I'm a when we're not on a podcast,
• 1:35
  Speaker 1: I'm a stomach solid three compared for you two. Fucking
• 1:41
  Speaker 1: it's a word fest. It's like, and then if the
• 1:45
  Speaker 1: crab joins in, who's a mute until he knows someone,
• 1:49
  Speaker 1: then he's fucking verbal quicksand you can't get out of
• 1:54
  Speaker 1: that ship. It's like, mate, do you want me to
• 1:55
  Speaker 1: throw your rope? Hell, I'm in the crab whirlwind? Have
• 2:01
  Speaker 1: you noticed that about him? Like when you first met him, Scott, Yes,
• 2:05
  Speaker 1: he was pretty quiet. You wasn't he he.
• 2:07
  Speaker 5: Was, and you got and you guys are telling me
• 2:10
  Speaker 5: stories about exactly what you just said, and I just
• 2:13
  Speaker 5: was like, well, he's not nothing like that, whereas now,
• 2:16
  Speaker 5: I mean, I mean, this evening, we had a like
• 2:19
  Speaker 5: a twelve minute conversation about metatocracy so and what was
• 2:24
  Speaker 5: wrong with the world.
• 2:25
  Speaker 1: Oh really, yes, it was very good. It was good,
• 2:27
  Speaker 1: but I was Meritocras is a good word isn't it. Yes,
• 2:30
  Speaker 1: it is.
• 2:32
  Speaker 5: Yes, So me and Crab had a bit of a
• 2:33
  Speaker 5: conversation about that, and I was stuck in the in
• 2:36
  Speaker 5: the crab zone.
• 2:37
  Speaker 1: For a little while. Yeah, yeah, well it happens crustacean Land.
• 2:41
  Speaker 1: I mean, he's got a PhD in Instagram, so he
• 2:44
  Speaker 1: fucking knows everything, you know. So if it's on Instagram,
• 2:50
  Speaker 1: the Crab knows it, which is so hilarious because I
• 2:53
  Speaker 1: feel like two years ago he didn't know what social
• 2:55
  Speaker 1: media was, and now he's an expert, and now he is,
• 3:00
  Speaker 1: now he is How long have you to have been?
• 3:02
  Speaker 1: What's the term we use? Mary? Would Mary would say
• 3:05
  Speaker 1: tracking steady, I would say routing. But let's stay with Mary.
• 3:10
  Speaker 1: I like Mary, and haven't met your mother.
• 3:12
  Speaker 5: And she did actually put me on the spot, if
• 3:14
  Speaker 5: you remember, Greig, if you remember, were sitting at the
• 3:17
  Speaker 5: table and she said, oh, yes, Scott, and what are
• 3:19
  Speaker 5: your intentions with Tiffany?
• 3:21
  Speaker 1: Did she? He did? And you leaned that and.
• 3:24
  Speaker 5: Had a big silly smile on your face and your
• 3:27
  Speaker 5: big sh to grin.
• 3:28
  Speaker 1: That's that's a good question though. Anyway, we'll get to that.
• 3:32
  Speaker 1: So I thought, all still in this aside, I would
• 3:36
  Speaker 1: like to talk about starting a new relationship, and it
• 3:42
  Speaker 1: could be a business partnership, it could be a friendship
• 3:45
  Speaker 1: that becomes a lifelong, or it could be something more
• 3:49
  Speaker 1: in the romantic space, like you too, how long has
• 3:54
  Speaker 1: it been now, Tiff? Like, how long have you two
• 3:56
  Speaker 1: been seeing each other?
• 4:00
  Speaker 4: Going on eight months? I think close to Tip seven
• 4:03
  Speaker 4: and a half months?
• 4:06
  Speaker 1: And at what stage? So first was there a first date?
• 4:10
  Speaker 1: Oruld you just just go for a walk with don't?
• 4:13
  Speaker 4: We're not really sure how any pin point it to
• 4:15
  Speaker 4: be honest?
• 4:17
  Speaker 1: All right, Well what was the first thing that you
• 4:18
  Speaker 1: did together? Just you two, not with anyone else.
• 4:21
  Speaker 4: We had a coffee?
• 4:22
  Speaker 1: Coffee right, so that's your first date? And where was that?
• 4:26
  Speaker 1: And going into firstly, where was that?
• 4:30
  Speaker 4: That was it? Miss Alex and up the road from
• 4:32
  Speaker 4: my house.
• 4:34
  Speaker 1: And going into that Tiff the one time self proclaimed publicly,
• 4:41
  Speaker 1: self proclaimed man hater and avoid of anything with a
• 4:45
  Speaker 1: cock other than boy dogs. Because to me, if you
• 4:54
  Speaker 1: go I'm going on a date with I'd be like,
• 4:56
  Speaker 1: who's hijack? Are you possessed? Where's Tiff gone? So going
• 5:01
  Speaker 1: into that, what was your no, your intention? But you're thinking, well,
• 5:07
  Speaker 1: I was.
• 5:07
  Speaker 4: Just going to meet the cool guy from the podcast
• 5:10
  Speaker 4: for a coffee.
• 5:12
  Speaker 1: Right, that was it? So he may have been any
• 5:15
  Speaker 1: he could have been any other dude that you've had
• 5:17
  Speaker 1: a coffee with in the last couple of years.
• 5:19
  Speaker 5: Yeah.
• 5:21
  Speaker 3: Correct, And that's that's what I felt, exactly the same.
• 5:24
  Speaker 5: Like I wanted to meet Tiff because I'd been listening
• 5:27
  Speaker 5: to her podcast for a.
• 5:28
  Speaker 3: While and was quite a big fan.
• 5:29
  Speaker 5: I genuinely liked her podcast, like, I thought she was
• 5:31
  Speaker 5: incredibly brave, and I thought, oh, well, I wonder if
• 5:34
  Speaker 5: she's similar to the idea of her in my head.
• 5:40
  Speaker 1: So Tiff, tell our listeners were, and obviously it's changed,
• 5:44
  Speaker 1: But what was your thinking? As much or as little
• 5:47
  Speaker 1: as you want to share. But I think there are
• 5:50
  Speaker 1: lots of people who are for one of a better term,
• 5:52
  Speaker 1: it's not an ideal term, but it's in the ballpark commitment,
• 5:54
  Speaker 1: phobic or scared of you know, being hurt, let down,
• 6:00
  Speaker 1: you know, all of the things. And you were in
• 6:03
  Speaker 1: that camp, right you had I mean, unless you're bullshitting me,
• 6:08
  Speaker 1: you seem like you had no interest in any romantic relationship.
• 6:13
  Speaker 1: I did suggest you should try the ladies quite a
• 6:16
  Speaker 1: few times, but I mean, just that's it. No but
• 6:25
  Speaker 1: you'd like I would have liked to have a bit
• 6:27
  Speaker 1: of romance and if it wasn't going to be with
• 6:29
  Speaker 1: a man who knows. But anyway, we've cleared that up, Captain,
• 6:35
  Speaker 1: I've got a no, no, don't say it. So what
• 6:41
  Speaker 1: was your thinking about relationships before?
• 6:45
  Speaker 4: I literally had a conversation with Brice Perry on my
• 6:49
  Speaker 4: podcast like one or two weeks before, where I said
• 6:52
  Speaker 4: to him, I've never been less interested in dating or relationships,
• 6:56
  Speaker 4: and that has been the case for the last few years,
• 6:58
  Speaker 4: and I am not compelled to change. It doesn't upset me.
• 7:02
  Speaker 4: I don't. I know why I'm like that, and I'm
• 7:05
  Speaker 4: okay with it.
• 7:06
  Speaker 1: So why were you okay with it? Or how did
• 7:10
  Speaker 1: you get there emotionally and mentally?
• 7:12
  Speaker 4: I just think I wasn't in I hate the idea
• 7:16
  Speaker 4: of dating. I did like the idea and the process
• 7:19
  Speaker 4: of going on dates with people. I was just very uncomfortable.
• 7:22
  Speaker 4: I was. I didn't trust people. I don't I'm not
• 7:27
  Speaker 4: good with boundaries and social cues and all of the things.
• 7:31
  Speaker 4: And it's uncomfortable, it's horrible, and I don't I just
• 7:35
  Speaker 4: didn't trust people.
• 7:37
  Speaker 1: Yeah, and that lack of trust as much or as
• 7:41
  Speaker 1: little as you want, right, that's from previous experiences obviously,
• 7:46
  Speaker 1: or is that just inherent or you got burned?
• 7:51
  Speaker 4: Yeah, I think all of the above. Really, yeah, yeah,
• 7:55
  Speaker 4: all of the above.
• 7:57
  Speaker 1: And so we'll get to you in a moment, Scotty.
• 8:00
  Speaker 1: So when did you at what number date or encounter? Now,
• 8:07
  Speaker 1: I'm not going to ask you that question, although we
• 8:12
  Speaker 1: know the answers the answers number three, but the question
• 8:20
  Speaker 1: when did you go?
• 8:21
  Speaker 4: Oh?
• 8:21
  Speaker 1: Fuck? I might have feelings for him, and that's a
• 8:24
  Speaker 1: problem because I don't want to have feelings for someone,
• 8:27
  Speaker 1: because I don't want to be in a relationship, and
• 8:29
  Speaker 1: as publicly stated, I couldn't have less interest. When did
• 8:32
  Speaker 1: that little kind of fucking light bulb hit, that very
• 8:34
  Speaker 1: inconvenient light bulb hit.
• 8:37
  Speaker 4: I don't know, I feel like there was. It went
• 8:42
  Speaker 4: from a coffee and hanging out to hanging to talk
• 8:45
  Speaker 4: and all the time and hanging out a lot, to
• 8:48
  Speaker 4: the point where I was like, am I dating this guy?
• 8:53
  Speaker 4: Is this dating? And I was a little bit like
• 8:56
  Speaker 4: not sure, but I also wasn't disinterested, but then I wasn't.
• 9:01
  Speaker 4: Also what I know about me is I was like,
• 9:04
  Speaker 4: I don't want to take any action on anything, because
• 9:09
  Speaker 4: I will probably just do a fucking out the door
• 9:12
  Speaker 4: straight away if I acknowledge it, right.
• 9:15
  Speaker 1: So will you kind of was part of the I guess,
• 9:19
  Speaker 1: the ease of it going in with the story that well,
• 9:26
  Speaker 1: this is not a date. We're not dating, he's not
• 9:29
  Speaker 1: a potential anything. He's just a guy that's cool and
• 9:32
  Speaker 1: we're going to hang out. He rides a motorbike. I wrote,
• 9:35
  Speaker 1: ride a motorbike, and I'm jacked. He's not. I look
• 9:40
  Speaker 1: better than him? Was it was it haven't you told
• 9:45
  Speaker 1: him that yet?
• 9:47
  Speaker 4: Oh?
• 9:47
  Speaker 1: Fuck, hang on, Melissa, edit that out. That's embarrassing. But
• 9:54
  Speaker 1: is it because you didn't have a story about I
• 9:56
  Speaker 1: wonder what this will develop into? That it made it easier.
• 10:00
  Speaker 4: Ah, I think yes. I think that I did not
• 10:03
  Speaker 4: have to have my guard up because I had, especially
• 10:07
  Speaker 4: Scott had listened to that podcast. So I went into
• 10:10
  Speaker 4: our first interaction going, well, he knows, like he's heard that,
• 10:14
  Speaker 4: he knows that I'm not interested in dating, so that's
• 10:17
  Speaker 4: not his intention. So I felt very safe, like there
• 10:21
  Speaker 4: were no expectations. I had this and I would talk
• 10:26
  Speaker 4: to this about this with doctor Bill, my therapist. This
• 10:30
  Speaker 4: thing where I like I hated dating, because I would
• 10:36
  Speaker 4: the walls would go straight up and I would almost
• 10:38
  Speaker 4: be in a hyper vigilant state where I couldn't act,
• 10:42
  Speaker 4: I couldn't be present. And that's just to have a
• 10:44
  Speaker 4: fucking coffee with someone. Yeah yeah, yeah, Like I would
• 10:48
  Speaker 4: be defensive. I would be like, like you laughed about
• 10:51
  Speaker 4: the wearing a T shirt that said come give me
• 10:53
  Speaker 4: a hug and wear a hat that says fuck off,
• 10:55
  Speaker 4: but like the hat was on, Yeah.
• 10:58
  Speaker 1: Yeah, give his hug, but don't give his hug and
• 11:01
  Speaker 1: by the way, fuck off. Yeah.
• 11:02
  Speaker 4: Eventually, I'm like, is this bloke ever gonna make a
• 11:08
  Speaker 4: fucking move on me?
• 11:10
  Speaker 1: Yeah? Yeah, Grandpa, the fucking human glacier, the emotional glacier,
• 11:15
  Speaker 1: just fucking spinning around in circles in an ocean of love, going,
• 11:19
  Speaker 1: I'm not sure what to do next, Scotty, I reckon,
• 11:25
  Speaker 1: you knew earlier you're going to pretend. Oh no, mate,
• 11:28
  Speaker 1: I just wanted to meet this interesting person. I don't
• 11:31
  Speaker 1: believe that at all. I believe you were interested from
• 11:34
  Speaker 1: day one.
• 11:34
  Speaker 5: Ish, I don't think you're far off the mark. Look
• 11:38
  Speaker 5: I so obviously, As Chiv said, I listened to the
• 11:41
  Speaker 5: podcast twice.
• 11:43
  Speaker 3: I went for a long drive.
• 11:44
  Speaker 5: I had to go to my brother's farm, so I
• 11:45
  Speaker 5: listened to that podcast that we're talking about.
• 11:47
  Speaker 3: I was so impressed by it.
• 11:48
  Speaker 5: I listened to it again on the way home and went, oh, okay, cool, okay,
• 11:51
  Speaker 5: what's pretty clear what Tiff wants.
• 11:53
  Speaker 3: That's that's fine.
• 11:54
  Speaker 5: But then when we had a coffee, I was like,
• 11:57
  Speaker 5: oh wow, it's a shame because she's very attractive, three any,
• 12:00
  Speaker 5: incredibly intelligent, and she's easy to talk to. I hope
• 12:04
  Speaker 5: that we get to have a coffee again.
• 12:06
  Speaker 1: That would be lovely.
• 12:07
  Speaker 5: And then we went out again, we had breakfast, I think,
• 12:11
  Speaker 5: and I went, oh wow, she is all those things,
• 12:13
  Speaker 5: I think, But she's made it very very clear that
• 12:17
  Speaker 5: she doesn't want to date.
• 12:18
  Speaker 1: And that's cool.
• 12:19
  Speaker 5: So then if we can see music or something, or
• 12:22
  Speaker 5: go for a ride on the motorbikes or or have breakfast,
• 12:25
  Speaker 5: obviously that's all that will happen, which is a shame
• 12:27
  Speaker 5: because she's you know, she's a lot of fun to
• 12:31
  Speaker 5: spend time with, and I was like, oh wow. But
• 12:33
  Speaker 5: then at the same time, I was like, well, I
• 12:35
  Speaker 5: don't want to chase her or I don't want to
• 12:38
  Speaker 5: ever make her feel not safe, So obviously not going
• 12:41
  Speaker 5: to do anything that would do that.
• 12:43
  Speaker 1: Yeah, even you told me. You told me that she's
• 12:46
  Speaker 1: a puzzle to be solved. That's what you told me.
• 12:51
  Speaker 1: You just like, yeah, she goes, you said, I got
• 12:55
  Speaker 1: the key, don't worry about that. She reckons. Why till
• 12:57
  Speaker 1: she gets a load in me. I'm a fucker gift.
• 13:01
  Speaker 1: It's a word for word what you said to me.
• 13:04
  Speaker 1: Till she gets a fucking hint of the totality of
• 13:09
  Speaker 1: the dugnada. Oh yeah, the duggnador two point zero.
• 13:15
  Speaker 3: This is how confusing it was.
• 13:17
  Speaker 5: Yeah, if you if you invite someone out, I think,
• 13:21
  Speaker 5: regardless of their gender or age, I honestly believe it
• 13:24
  Speaker 5: is your responsibility to ensure, within reason.
• 13:28
  Speaker 3: They get home safely. Right, I think I legitimy believe that.
• 13:31
  Speaker 5: And so me and Tiff had gone to see some
• 13:33
  Speaker 5: music and then we'd literally gone, oh, it's pretty early,
• 13:36
  Speaker 5: let's get some food when it's is really cool Japanese
• 13:40
  Speaker 5: sort of like cottage little cafe, and had some amazing
• 13:43
  Speaker 5: food and I said, oh, I'll where's your car, Like
• 13:45
  Speaker 5: I'll walk you to your car, like it's dark, it's Melbourne.
• 13:49
  Speaker 3: And she was like, why would you do that? Kind
• 13:51
  Speaker 3: of vibe.
• 13:52
  Speaker 5: And I'm like, well, it's the right thing to do,
• 13:53
  Speaker 5: that's the first thing. And I want to make sure
• 13:55
  Speaker 5: you get to your car safe.
• 13:57
  Speaker 1: But you go to you you know, I'm a trained
• 14:00
  Speaker 1: killer and you're your well yeah, well, I mean yeah,
• 14:05
  Speaker 1: you know, you're a sweetheart and you can cook. But
• 14:07
  Speaker 1: have you seen my shoulders? Yeah?
• 14:10
  Speaker 5: And then I think so laugh and thinking yeah, like
• 14:12
  Speaker 5: if anyone was to approach her, they just get the
• 14:15
  Speaker 5: shit kicked out of him, Like there's no like I'm
• 14:18
  Speaker 5: a little bit obsolete kind of vibe.
• 14:20
  Speaker 1: Let's not throw that out there too much, shall we?
• 14:23
  Speaker 1: And so all right, So for Scott, when did you
• 14:27
  Speaker 1: kind of go They like, I'm I'm quite into her.
• 14:33
  Speaker 1: I would like this to be something where you owned
• 14:35
  Speaker 1: up to yourself and maybe even a little bit to her.
• 14:38
  Speaker 1: So we had well when did you first okay, from
• 14:40
  Speaker 1: the date, when did you to first acknowledge that this
• 14:44
  Speaker 1: might be a little bit more than a couple of
• 14:46
  Speaker 1: friends hanging out now?
• 14:46
  Speaker 3: And then when we had lunch with my very good friends.
• 14:51
  Speaker 5: So they're a married couple and I've known I've known
• 14:54
  Speaker 5: Midge for since we were fifteen.
• 14:56
  Speaker 3: He's probably one of my closest.
• 14:57
  Speaker 5: Friends, and we went down and visited them, had a
• 14:59
  Speaker 5: lovely day, and we were sitting across like we're sitting
• 15:02
  Speaker 5: in a cafe together, and they were sitting across from us,
• 15:05
  Speaker 5: and his wife looked at us, said, oh, how long
• 15:08
  Speaker 5: have you guys been seeing each other?
• 15:09
  Speaker 3: And we went, oh, we're not dating.
• 15:11
  Speaker 5: And she says, oh, if you don't to talk about it,
• 15:13
  Speaker 5: it's okay, and it's laughed, and she said, like, if
• 15:16
  Speaker 5: you don't to talk about it, it's okay, Like, dain't bullshit.
• 15:18
  Speaker 3: To me, you know. And they've known me a long time.
• 15:21
  Speaker 5: And then we were because we'd written our motorcycles down there,
• 15:24
  Speaker 5: so we were putting all our gearback on, and Lucy
• 15:27
  Speaker 5: come up to me and goes, are you not dating
• 15:29
  Speaker 5: this girl? Because if you're not dating this girl, mate,
• 15:30
  Speaker 5: you're fucking crazy, like she's perfect for you, like you
• 15:34
  Speaker 5: should data. And I said, it's a bit more complicated
• 15:36
  Speaker 5: than that, mate.
• 15:39
  Speaker 1: Of course it is, Scott, of course it is. Oh yeah,
• 15:43
  Speaker 1: Tifts about as complicated as a fucking sandal. So but
• 15:51
  Speaker 1: then that's actually not true, that's not true. I thought
• 15:53
  Speaker 1: it'd just get a laugh. She's pretty complicated.
• 15:57
  Speaker 3: In a wonderful way?
• 15:59
  Speaker 1: Yes, did when did sorry? What did kind of throw you? Like?
• 16:09
  Speaker 1: What were the what were the things that you found
• 16:14
  Speaker 1: even though we know you love him, you're together, you're
• 16:16
  Speaker 1: all good, But what's the stuff that was hard for you?
• 16:20
  Speaker 1: And what were the pleasant surprises?
• 16:26
  Speaker 4: So I think maybe when I would when I was
• 16:33
  Speaker 4: a bit under the weather and Scott would be coming
• 16:37
  Speaker 4: around to do training, Yeah, and like I was tired
• 16:42
  Speaker 4: and not amazing, and he still wanted to come. And
• 16:45
  Speaker 4: it was like I'm used to. If I'm not amazing,
• 16:48
  Speaker 4: then I just shut myself away from everybody and it
• 16:51
  Speaker 4: was and that was, yeah, different for me because I'm
• 16:56
  Speaker 4: not wasn't used to that, And what was nice was
• 17:00
  Speaker 4: in more recent times, I am happy for him to
• 17:03
  Speaker 4: be around when I'm feeling shit.
• 17:07
  Speaker 1: And how have you had to change? I don't mean
• 17:10
  Speaker 1: that change is a bad thing. Maybe it's for the better.
• 17:14
  Speaker 1: But how have you had to change to make because
• 17:16
  Speaker 1: obviously virtually all of your life has been impacted a
• 17:21
  Speaker 1: little bit or a more significant bit depending on what
• 17:25
  Speaker 1: we're talking about. How have you had to change or
• 17:28
  Speaker 1: adapt to make it work with a two person life,
• 17:31
  Speaker 1: not a one person life.
• 17:34
  Speaker 4: Not being selfish all the time, which.
• 17:36
  Speaker 1: Is, how's that going?
• 17:38
  Speaker 5: Yeah?
• 17:38
  Speaker 4: Not good?
• 17:39
  Speaker 1: Like if you're eating chocolate and he wants some.
• 17:43
  Speaker 4: He tried to say he was going to eat some
• 17:45
  Speaker 4: of my salad from the chicken shop when I was
• 17:47
  Speaker 4: about to order it tonight. Yeah, I pult of stop.
• 17:50
  Speaker 1: Howd that go?
• 17:51
  Speaker 4: Not good?
• 17:51
  Speaker 3: Not good? Not good?
• 17:54
  Speaker 1: You too, both? You two both get a little you.
• 17:57
  Speaker 4: Know that stereotype about the chicks do that like, oh no,
• 18:00
  Speaker 4: I'm not hungry, and then they eat the boyfriend's food.
• 18:04
  Speaker 4: That's what was going to happen. That's exactly the scenario
• 18:07
  Speaker 4: that was going to play out at the chicken shop.
• 18:11
  Speaker 1: Well, I'm both, I'm glad you're both eaten and all right,
• 18:18
  Speaker 1: So you know what question I would normally ask. I'm
• 18:21
  Speaker 1: not going to ask that question, but I'm I really
• 18:27
  Speaker 1: want to though. Third time five minutes in, No, I
• 18:37
  Speaker 1: don't know. That's just what I read on socials still
• 18:44
  Speaker 1: in as Acide. When did you feel comfortable? I'm not
• 18:47
  Speaker 1: talking about sex. I'm talking about just intcy being close
• 18:50
  Speaker 1: to someone a lot, being you know, like hugging, kissing,
• 18:55
  Speaker 1: being in proximity where now you're like you're sitting together
• 18:58
  Speaker 1: and you're just meshed like one big thing on the
• 19:00
  Speaker 1: couch rather than like where you just you know where
• 19:04
  Speaker 1: you go from. Ah, it's nice too, but now you're
• 19:07
  Speaker 1: like there's kind of almost no barrier. I'm not talking
• 19:10
  Speaker 1: about sex, just talking about into intimacy from the point
• 19:13
  Speaker 1: of view of, you know, being close physically. How long
• 19:18
  Speaker 1: did that take from day one? Like a week? Four weeks?
• 19:25
  Speaker 3: It was longer.
• 19:27
  Speaker 5: Even when we were in cans because you had to
• 19:30
  Speaker 5: get used to me being in your room.
• 19:32
  Speaker 4: Rubbish but you rubbish? Oh yet no, because.
• 19:37
  Speaker 5: You would Yeah, when we're in cans like, so you've
• 19:40
  Speaker 5: got you need your own space to do your thing,
• 19:43
  Speaker 5: and I want to help you, but I also don't
• 19:44
  Speaker 5: want to get in your way.
• 19:45
  Speaker 3: And I've never seen you get ready for.
• 19:47
  Speaker 5: A big speaking engagement, So it was it was a
• 19:50
  Speaker 5: little bit, Oh, do you want me to be here?
• 19:52
  Speaker 5: Or do you do you want me in the room
• 19:54
  Speaker 5: and you literally are getting ready, or do you want
• 19:56
  Speaker 5: me to piss off somewhere because I wanted I didn't
• 19:58
  Speaker 5: want to get in your way.
• 20:00
  Speaker 1: Sounds like you weren't reading the sign, Scott. I can
• 20:02
  Speaker 1: tell you what she wanted from here. The fuck's wrong
• 20:04
  Speaker 1: with you? Fuck? Hell? Have you met women.
• 20:08
  Speaker 4: Have you met Tiff, Well, that's ridiculous because I loved
• 20:11
  Speaker 4: having him in Cans and I remember coming home from
• 20:12
  Speaker 4: Cans going I don't want him to I don't want
• 20:14
  Speaker 4: you to go home yet, stay.
• 20:15
  Speaker 1: At my host Look at you, Scott. Please, Scott, for
• 20:21
  Speaker 1: the love of God and everyone in Australia, don't leave her, oh,
• 20:31
  Speaker 1: doctor Bill, or to have fucking eighteen hour appointments. No,
• 20:36
  Speaker 1: I'm sure you're going to live a long, happy life together.
• 20:41
  Speaker 1: So what's your advice for people who are a bit
• 20:44
  Speaker 1: like you? Either one of you. We'll start with you, Tiff,
• 20:49
  Speaker 1: But for somebody who's like and not that the somebody
• 20:54
  Speaker 1: shouldn't be feeling this, but someone who's like very gun shy,
• 20:58
  Speaker 1: has been understanding hurt in the past and just doesn't
• 21:02
  Speaker 1: even want to or is not at a place in
• 21:06
  Speaker 1: the moment where they even want to consider it. And
• 21:08
  Speaker 1: we're not trying to change anyone's thinking or behavior. But
• 21:11
  Speaker 1: do you have any general thoughts about what you might
• 21:14
  Speaker 1: share if if you spoke to a version of you
• 21:17
  Speaker 1: from two years ago, current you versus you from two
• 21:21
  Speaker 1: years ago, what might you tell yourself because obviously you've changed.
• 21:26
  Speaker 4: Yeah, but I don't I didn't do anything specific for this,
• 21:30
  Speaker 4: like I don't think that. I think I have done
• 21:33
  Speaker 4: a lot of work over a lot of time, and
• 21:35
  Speaker 4: I was very aware that I liked the idea that
• 21:45
  Speaker 4: I could change and be in a relationship, but I
• 21:47
  Speaker 4: didn't want I didn't want to step into the discomfort
• 21:52
  Speaker 4: and the barriers that existed for me to do the work.
• 21:55
  Speaker 4: So I was open. So I was always open to
• 21:59
  Speaker 4: g to be nice if something just happened, but I'm
• 22:02
  Speaker 4: not looking for it or chasing it. And so I
• 22:05
  Speaker 4: think it's a different conversation to say, what advice do
• 22:09
  Speaker 4: you have, because there's some people out there that are
• 22:11
  Speaker 4: actively trying, and I think when you try, we have
• 22:15
  Speaker 4: a lot of rules or ideas about what things have
• 22:19
  Speaker 4: to be like. And I don't know, I don't think
• 22:23
  Speaker 4: we then we you know, we're looking on apps for
• 22:25
  Speaker 4: people and tickingviss and going they've got to be like
• 22:30
  Speaker 4: this and they've got to do that. And it's like, I.
• 22:33
  Speaker 1: Don't think it's funny that you, the you that's at
• 22:37
  Speaker 1: home is not the same as the you that goes
• 22:41
  Speaker 1: out presenting yourself to the world and maybe hopefully finding
• 22:46
  Speaker 1: a partner or at least you know someone that cares
• 22:50
  Speaker 1: about you and you care about them, and you go
• 22:52
  Speaker 1: out and you kind of you do all these things
• 22:55
  Speaker 1: to be attractive men and women. You know, you wear
• 22:58
  Speaker 1: what you wear and not say every one who dresses
• 23:00
  Speaker 1: up is on the prowle. It's not to say that,
• 23:03
  Speaker 1: but it's like, there's this persona that you bring out
• 23:07
  Speaker 1: into the world that to be potentially more attractive. And
• 23:12
  Speaker 1: then you go home and you stop doing whatever you
• 23:15
  Speaker 1: were doing and you take off the shit that you
• 23:16
  Speaker 1: were wearing, and then you go back to But I
• 23:19
  Speaker 1: guess it doesn't work any other way, not in that
• 23:22
  Speaker 1: kind of context anyway, It's.
• 23:24
  Speaker 4: Nothing worse than the first time you have to wash
• 23:26
  Speaker 4: your fucking makeup off, you misca off, go to bed.
• 23:30
  Speaker 1: I reckon cancer is worse.
• 23:33
  Speaker 4: There's the shittest response, as it's true.
• 23:37
  Speaker 1: Well, I just laugh when people go there's nothing worse
• 23:39
  Speaker 1: than I'm like, whatever you're going to say, here's eepes
• 23:42
  Speaker 1: worst Scotty. What have you had to change or adapt
• 23:48
  Speaker 1: or how is your thinking evolved if it has in
• 23:53
  Speaker 1: the last I don't know, eight months.
• 23:56
  Speaker 5: Okay, So, and I'll refer to what I said earlier,
• 23:58
  Speaker 5: like I. I loved listening to Tiff talk right, so
• 24:03
  Speaker 5: I was like, oh, wow, she's really clever.
• 24:05
  Speaker 3: I wonder if she's like that in real life.
• 24:07
  Speaker 5: And then I met her and she was right, and
• 24:09
  Speaker 5: you go, oh, cool, So she's clever, which I really
• 24:10
  Speaker 5: really enjoy. She's smart, she's funny, and we were talking
• 24:14
  Speaker 5: and we were just laughing and enjoying each other, and
• 24:16
  Speaker 5: I was like, oh, if I have to be super
• 24:19
  Speaker 5: gentle with her. I have to be very careful with her,
• 24:21
  Speaker 5: because she clearly doesn't want like a boyfriend for one
• 24:24
  Speaker 5: of a better word, So I don't ever want to.
• 24:27
  Speaker 3: Come across like that.
• 24:28
  Speaker 5: But at the same time, I want to have a
• 24:29
  Speaker 5: meal with her, like I want to enjoy her company.
• 24:32
  Speaker 5: And then obviously, once we realized that we really did
• 24:35
  Speaker 5: enjoy each other's company, I just had to be super
• 24:37
  Speaker 5: aware of everything that's going on in her life, like
• 24:40
  Speaker 5: you know, just really conscious of it. Like I know,
• 24:43
  Speaker 5: she works, she works incredibly hard, and she trains incredibly hard,
• 24:46
  Speaker 5: and she really squeezes in a lot into her day,
• 24:50
  Speaker 5: and so she's moving quite quickly all the time, so
• 24:53
  Speaker 5: you sort of have to keep up with that, and
• 24:55
  Speaker 5: then you have to factor that in as well, like
• 24:57
  Speaker 5: you have to think, oh, what will she want to
• 24:58
  Speaker 5: do next?
• 25:00
  Speaker 1: Do you know, Scotty the five love languages? Yes, okay,
• 25:05
  Speaker 1: I'll remind you. I'll remind both of you. So not
• 25:09
  Speaker 1: in order. Words of affirmation, so your ace, I reckon
• 25:15
  Speaker 1: your great but words of affirmation, quality time obvious? What
• 25:18
  Speaker 1: that is? Acts of service, so doing stuff for people,
• 25:25
  Speaker 1: giving gifts, so giving you know, you show someone you
• 25:30
  Speaker 1: love them by that. And the last one, number five
• 25:33
  Speaker 1: is physical touch. What do you think TIFFs? Top two
• 25:37
  Speaker 1: are so acts of service, quality time, physical touch, gifts.
• 25:45
  Speaker 1: What's the other one? I forgot tiff? Well, our listeners
• 25:48
  Speaker 1: are shouting out us now it doesn't matter.
• 25:53
  Speaker 5: Service would because I cook a lot for Tiff and
• 25:56
  Speaker 5: because she loves food, So for me that was I'd
• 26:00
  Speaker 5: say that's one of them, for sure.
• 26:02
  Speaker 3: What do you reckon?
• 26:03
  Speaker 4: Cook?
• 26:03
  Speaker 3: So?
• 26:03
  Speaker 1: Is that that's the way you give love? Though? So
• 26:07
  Speaker 1: that's for you that's being loving.
• 26:09
  Speaker 5: Yes, But because she loves food and is very exciting
• 26:13
  Speaker 5: when I cook for her, I think it works.
• 26:15
  Speaker 3: That makes sense.
• 26:17
  Speaker 4: Mhm.
• 26:18
  Speaker 1: Oh. The other one is words of affirmation.
• 26:22
  Speaker 4: You know what?
• 26:23
  Speaker 1: Sorry?
• 26:24
  Speaker 4: Oh?
• 26:24
  Speaker 5: I think words are incredibly important and super powerful.
• 26:27
  Speaker 1: Yes, and I mean you can.
• 26:29
  Speaker 3: Sorry, Sorry, Craig.
• 26:31
  Speaker 1: Sorry dude, It's like this my first fucking podcast. I
• 26:34
  Speaker 1: got my ol plates on how will you not interrupting
• 26:38
  Speaker 1: your dickhead? I think with people, like, for example, how
• 26:45
  Speaker 1: Tiff feels loved by me is words of affirmation when
• 26:51
  Speaker 1: I tell us she's great, when she's done a good job,
• 26:55
  Speaker 1: when she's it's more. It's more than that. I think
• 26:58
  Speaker 1: she likes spending time with me bit, but her love
• 27:02
  Speaker 1: language is because her confidence is not through the roof,
• 27:05
  Speaker 1: but it's growing. And I've been a mentor, correct me
• 27:10
  Speaker 1: if I'm wrong, Tiff. But like when I think and
• 27:12
  Speaker 1: I don't tell you I think you've done great when
• 27:15
  Speaker 1: I don't think it, like if I say it, it's
• 27:18
  Speaker 1: what I really think. So I think that for you
• 27:21
  Speaker 1: that's probably when that's a version of love, friendship, love
• 27:26
  Speaker 1: between you and me, when you get that, am I right?
• 27:29
  Speaker 4: Yeah?
• 27:30
  Speaker 1: Yep yeah? And I think for you, Scottie say, for example,
• 27:37
  Speaker 1: from me, I think my love language to you would
• 27:45
  Speaker 1: be probably quality time, Yes for sure, yes, Like I
• 27:50
  Speaker 1: think if I give you my time, which I'm happy
• 27:52
  Speaker 1: to and it's win when I love it, right, But
• 27:56
  Speaker 1: it's that which is not so you don't appreciate anything else.
• 28:00
  Speaker 1: It's like with you, it's quality time. With Tiff, it's
• 28:02
  Speaker 1: words of affirmation. What do you think Tiff needs to
• 28:06
  Speaker 1: feel loved? Scott, Like, what do you think her love
• 28:09
  Speaker 1: language is?
• 28:11
  Speaker 3: You have to tell her stuff for sure?
• 28:14
  Speaker 1: Okay, so words of affirmation. So we're going to go
• 28:16
  Speaker 1: acts of service, quality time, gifts, physical touch and words.
• 28:22
  Speaker 5: Words and access service I reckon.
• 28:29
  Speaker 1: Yeah, So you like it when he cooks your dinner,
• 28:32
  Speaker 1: You like it when he does shit for you? You
• 28:34
  Speaker 1: feel loved right yeah?
• 28:36
  Speaker 3: Yeah?
• 28:37
  Speaker 1: Yeah? And what about him? What do you think his
• 28:41
  Speaker 1: like from you? What does he most value or appreciate
• 28:46
  Speaker 1: or when does he feel most loved from you? What
• 28:49
  Speaker 1: are you doing?
• 28:51
  Speaker 4: I think his top two would be quality time and
• 28:56
  Speaker 4: acts of service? Yeah, yeah, I agree, because I see
• 29:02
  Speaker 4: that's what That's how he gives love to everybody.
• 29:06
  Speaker 1: Yes, yeah, because sometimes it's different between what we feel
• 29:12
  Speaker 1: as love and the way that we give love, like
• 29:16
  Speaker 1: like giving love. Your love language might be yeah, doing
• 29:20
  Speaker 1: stuff for people all the time, but at the same time,
• 29:23
  Speaker 1: you don't want people to do stuff for you, Like
• 29:26
  Speaker 1: that's me a little bit, I feel a bit awkward. Whatever, Yeah,
• 29:33
  Speaker 1: because I. Yeah, I feel guilty when people do things
• 29:37
  Speaker 1: for me, you know, but I love it when I
• 29:40
  Speaker 1: do things. So it's quite unfair to my friends who
• 29:44
  Speaker 1: want to do shit for me because I'm like, nah,
• 29:46
  Speaker 1: don't I'm good. But yeah, it's different with different people. Yeah,
• 29:51
  Speaker 1: I think like my parent. My mum is acts, is
• 29:58
  Speaker 1: active service and gifts. My old man is words of affirmation.
• 30:03
  Speaker 1: He likes you, he likes being told he's the funniest
• 30:06
  Speaker 1: or the smartest, or the he loves all of that,
• 30:09
  Speaker 1: you know. And then I'm like, you're not really, but
• 30:13
  Speaker 1: you need to hear this so you're hilarious. No, I don't,
• 30:16
  Speaker 1: not at all. And now are there any loose plans?
• 30:23
  Speaker 1: Are there any loose plans moving forwards? Not even going
• 30:27
  Speaker 1: to say, I'm not even going to say the word,
• 30:29
  Speaker 1: but about moving in together? Like is that a thing?
• 30:33
  Speaker 3: Yes, I would definitely like to live with Tiff, and.
• 30:39
  Speaker 1: Just saying nothing, this is all good, fucking sorry. You
• 30:43
  Speaker 1: may be taken that for a teen drive before we've.
• 30:46
  Speaker 3: Got we've really just been starting to talk about it.
• 30:49
  Speaker 4: We've been talking about it.
• 30:50
  Speaker 1: Yes, Okay, what's the what's the timeline on that?
• 30:59
  Speaker 4: Well?
• 30:59
  Speaker 5: I think we're then we get back from Ireland, we
• 31:01
  Speaker 5: would like to start looking at a place where we
• 31:03
  Speaker 5: can live together.
• 31:06
  Speaker 1: All right, because all right, let's let's take the let's
• 31:10
  Speaker 1: take the spotlight off your both of your red faces.
• 31:15
  Speaker 1: What are you going to Ireland?
• 31:17
  Speaker 4: I didn't know today that this was going to be
• 31:19
  Speaker 4: an interrogation on the relationship. You catfished me into this podcast.
• 31:24
  Speaker 1: I don't think it's been an interrogation at all. I
• 31:27
  Speaker 1: think it's been a revelation and jubilation. It's been its celebration.
• 31:31
  Speaker 1: It's been all the ass, but not in terror. So
• 31:34
  Speaker 1: you're welcome, and also also world You're You're welcome to everybody.
• 31:40
  Speaker 2: You know.
• 31:40
  Speaker 1: There's probably people new people listening to this guy. Who
• 31:44
  Speaker 1: the fuck are these two? Nobody cares? They're not famous.
• 31:48
  Speaker 1: It's not fucking Ben Affleck and j Low is it?
• 31:52
  Speaker 1: We don't give a fuck? And to that listener, oh well,
• 31:58
  Speaker 1: what are you going to? You going to Ireland for? So?
• 32:03
  Speaker 3: I go there every year. I've been going there every year.
• 32:05
  Speaker 5: I've gone there like twenty times in the last like
• 32:07
  Speaker 5: twelve years or something.
• 32:08
  Speaker 3: So I go over there to help with the harvest.
• 32:10
  Speaker 5: I have a little cabin over there that will stay
• 32:12
  Speaker 5: in and I have a motorcycle over there, and I'll
• 32:15
  Speaker 5: go over there and stay there for a little while,
• 32:16
  Speaker 5: and then TIF will come over and we'll spend like
• 32:19
  Speaker 5: three almost four weeks together riding around that part of Ireland,
• 32:22
  Speaker 5: which has got some of the best riding in the world.
• 32:26
  Speaker 1: Very romantic place too. I don't know. Fuck, I don't know.
• 32:32
  Speaker 1: There's so many things you could do over there because
• 32:35
  Speaker 1: it's so beautiful and romantic and you know, joyous that
• 32:42
  Speaker 1: I don't know. You guys will figure something out. I
• 32:44
  Speaker 1: think we will. Yeah, Tiff, you have you stopped? Sorry,
• 32:50
  Speaker 1: I've just had something the tiff. Have you ever been
• 32:53
  Speaker 1: to Ireland? No? I have not.
• 32:55
  Speaker 4: No, I have not been to Ireland.
• 32:59
  Speaker 1: And what do you are you going to do? Are
• 33:00
  Speaker 1: you going to help with the harvest? Are you going
• 33:03
  Speaker 1: to do some roofing? Are you going to ail the hay?
• 33:07
  Speaker 1: What are you going to do?
• 33:09
  Speaker 3: Would we baling?
• 33:10
  Speaker 5: Hayer definitely should be washing tractors, servicing tractors, probably even
• 33:16
  Speaker 5: get a crack.
• 33:16
  Speaker 3: In one of the trucks and one of the harvesters.
• 33:18
  Speaker 1: Oh wow, washing tractors. Thank God, you've got a woman,
• 33:22
  Speaker 1: because you're never going to get another one. Ever again,
• 33:28
  Speaker 1: every woman just went no, I'm out, I'm not washing. Well,
• 33:32
  Speaker 1: there's probably a few that might love to wash a tractor.
• 33:34
  Speaker 1: What do I know. I'm an expert on nothing to
• 33:38
  Speaker 1: do with relationships and what's your affiliation with island? Mate?
• 33:45
  Speaker 5: So I've got like an uncle over there who's got
• 33:47
  Speaker 5: a big farm, and I've been going over there, like
• 33:49
  Speaker 5: I said, since twenty twelve.
• 33:51
  Speaker 1: And so then I went and lived over there for
• 33:53
  Speaker 1: five six.
• 33:54
  Speaker 3: Months in twenty fifteen. And as I said earlier, I've
• 33:57
  Speaker 3: been over there every year.
• 33:58
  Speaker 5: Sometimes my brothers come, sometimes my daughter's come and we
• 34:00
  Speaker 5: literally help with the harvest.
• 34:02
  Speaker 3: We literally drive tractors and drive harvesters.
• 34:04
  Speaker 1: It's amazing.
• 34:06
  Speaker 5: Where we are in Ireland is like the lawn of Ireland.
• 34:10
  Speaker 5: So I consider being the prettiest places in Ireland.
• 34:12
  Speaker 3: Like it is, it's amazing, It's it's beautiful.
• 34:14
  Speaker 1: That's a big claim because island's fucking pretty all over.
• 34:18
  Speaker 5: Well, if the listeners would like to google Kinsale, it
• 34:21
  Speaker 5: is literally in the top ten places in Europe.
• 34:25
  Speaker 1: Like, it's amazing, it's beautiful.
• 34:27
  Speaker 5: But at the end of the day, it's a it's
• 34:28
  Speaker 5: a farming community that happens to be in this incredibly
• 34:31
  Speaker 5: beautiful place.
• 34:33
  Speaker 1: You've done a lot of varied jobs to so, I
• 34:35
  Speaker 1: mean you've been a well you are a chef, and
• 34:38
  Speaker 1: you owned restaurants and you crushed with that, and you've
• 34:42
  Speaker 1: worked in the minds in wa and of course you
• 34:44
  Speaker 1: were a paramedic for many years, and a university lecturer
• 34:48
  Speaker 1: and a multiple book author and a fucking you know,
• 34:55
  Speaker 1: someone who sticks their head on a potty whenever they can,
• 34:57
  Speaker 1: and you're very good at it. By the way, I've
• 35:00
  Speaker 1: told you you too should do a once a week potty.
• 35:02
  Speaker 1: But if ignored me.
• 35:04
  Speaker 4: But what are the next five mentoring on that great
• 35:08
  Speaker 4: fucking hell.
• 35:09
  Speaker 1: I'm pretty sure you both got all the equipment, and
• 35:12
  Speaker 1: I think tif you've got about a million potties under
• 35:14
  Speaker 1: your fucking man belt. Do you, by the way, when
• 35:22
  Speaker 1: you go out, do you both keep your delts covered
• 35:24
  Speaker 1: just to protect old mate's self esteem or do you
• 35:27
  Speaker 1: get yours out.
• 35:29
  Speaker 5: One of my very close friends, the first thing he
• 35:32
  Speaker 5: said to Tiff literally it was a really hot danger
• 35:35
  Speaker 5: this like a single it on and he not even
• 35:38
  Speaker 5: met her. He literally was shaking her hand and went, fuck.
• 35:41
  Speaker 2: Dude, like you're jacked, like dude, like Jesus and like just.
• 35:46
  Speaker 3: Carried on about it.
• 35:48
  Speaker 1: Well for Tiff, who's thirty percent male and well done,
• 35:52
  Speaker 1: Scott um, that's a compliment. I mean she doesn't Yeah,
• 35:57
  Speaker 1: she doesn't want someone going, oh you're so pretty. It's
• 36:00
  Speaker 1: like you're hard as a cat's head, motherfucker. That's what
• 36:02
  Speaker 1: she wants. Yes, an ambulance. What's that?
• 36:10
  Speaker 4: Words of affirmation.
• 36:14
  Speaker 1: Is words of affirmation. So I feel like you're in
• 36:18
  Speaker 1: a little bit of professional limbo. Scott you what are
• 36:20
  Speaker 1: you going to do in the next ten years? Are
• 36:22
  Speaker 1: you just going to bits and pieces or do you
• 36:24
  Speaker 1: have a plan? Because as TIFs you know, Surry Gate father,
• 36:29
  Speaker 1: I mean I hadn't need to have some questions answered,
• 36:33
  Speaker 1: some boxes tipped unintended and a bit of clarity around
• 36:39
  Speaker 1: a few things. Okay, so what's your plan, son? I
• 36:43
  Speaker 1: don't have one.
• 36:44
  Speaker 5: But one thing I'm very aware of is I've never
• 36:48
  Speaker 5: been unemployed, and I know a lot of people, and
• 36:51
  Speaker 5: generally speaking, I trust the process. Like in the next
• 36:56
  Speaker 5: six months someone's going to ring me with a very
• 36:58
  Speaker 5: good job offer. I'm not joking, been a wanker, but
• 37:00
  Speaker 5: that's generally what has happened before. And I literally was
• 37:03
  Speaker 5: on the phone two days ago to someone who offered
• 37:05
  Speaker 5: me a very good job, but i'd have to move
• 37:07
  Speaker 5: to wa which I don't want to do. So I
• 37:09
  Speaker 5: think I'll be okay, mister Harper, thank you for your concern.
• 37:13
  Speaker 1: Oh, well, that's good. That's good. And Cook's developing all
• 37:17
  Speaker 1: kinds of new things in the the kitchen, in the
• 37:21
  Speaker 1: commercial kitchen. Well that's that's actually a thing, isn't it.
• 37:25
  Speaker 1: But where she's creating new little projects that she's going
• 37:29
  Speaker 1: to reveal to the world very soon. How much of
• 37:35
  Speaker 1: your relationship is about just following your heart and being
• 37:42
  Speaker 1: instinctive and intuitive, because I feel like TIF you're a
• 37:45
  Speaker 1: bit more of a planner and a fourward thinker. Not
• 37:48
  Speaker 1: that that's good or bad, not the way Scott is
• 37:51
  Speaker 1: is good or bad, but you're a little bit more
• 37:53
  Speaker 1: ADHD and OCD. And I've got a plan, I've got
• 37:56
  Speaker 1: to know and I've got to How do you bring
• 37:59
  Speaker 1: that together with your two somewhat divergent personalities.
• 38:04
  Speaker 4: Yes, I reckon I have had to loosen the group
• 38:11
  Speaker 4: because I am I'm more. I wouldn't say I'm a planner.
• 38:17
  Speaker 4: I would just say that I work obsessively on what
• 38:24
  Speaker 4: I have got going on in the moment, and I
• 38:25
  Speaker 4: have had to re establish my own work boundaries and
• 38:32
  Speaker 4: and my I guess wants and values and try to
• 38:39
  Speaker 4: figure out what's important again and how much of myself
• 38:43
  Speaker 4: I have to give to those things and if I
• 38:46
  Speaker 4: have enough time to still give to get the outcome
• 38:48
  Speaker 4: I want? Does that make sense? Am I rambling?
• 38:51
  Speaker 1: Yeah?
• 38:52
  Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, because I've just I've always had
• 38:54
  Speaker 4: twenty four hours a day to just go in a
• 38:57
  Speaker 4: direction without because I don't have a plan.
• 38:59
  Speaker 5: I have.
• 39:00
  Speaker 4: I have an inspiration and then I chase it and
• 39:05
  Speaker 4: I take action straight away, so I don't need to
• 39:07
  Speaker 4: forward plan so much. I just go this is what
• 39:08
  Speaker 4: I want, and this is what I'm doing now, and
• 39:10
  Speaker 4: nobody can get in my way or stop me. But
• 39:13
  Speaker 4: now I have a big chunk of my time that
• 39:16
  Speaker 4: I have to hit pause on because I want to
• 39:18
  Speaker 4: spend time with somebody, and then I at some point
• 39:22
  Speaker 4: will have to go what do I want life to
• 39:24
  Speaker 4: look like?
• 39:24
  Speaker 1: Then that's the closest thing to fight a disagreement and
• 39:31
  Speaker 1: argument a moment, the closest thing that you've had either
• 39:37
  Speaker 1: of you.
• 39:39
  Speaker 3: Literally half an hour ago in the Chicken sholl No
• 39:42
  Speaker 3: it's not.
• 39:43
  Speaker 1: That's not I meant an actual problem that could have
• 39:46
  Speaker 1: been a problem.
• 39:47
  Speaker 4: He made me once, Oh.
• 39:52
  Speaker 1: How do you make you cry?
• 39:53
  Speaker 4: He didn't mean to. He said something funny, but he
• 39:57
  Speaker 4: hit a button that neither of us were aware of.
• 40:00
  Speaker 4: And I did, and I had a bit of a
• 40:02
  Speaker 4: cry and I had to let him know that that
• 40:05
  Speaker 4: that made him cry.
• 40:07
  Speaker 1: Oh wow, yeah, I bet you felt fucking world class then, Scott.
• 40:12
  Speaker 5: I did when when Tiff was explaining it to me,
• 40:15
  Speaker 5: I actually was like rewinding it in my brain, going, yes,
• 40:20
  Speaker 5: one hundred percent did say that, and you one hundred
• 40:21
  Speaker 5: percent thought it was funny and it wasn't was it?
• 40:24
  Speaker 3: I'm going no, it wasn't funny.
• 40:27
  Speaker 1: Hmm, didn't you.
• 40:31
  Speaker 4: There's been no arguments because I mean, yeah, I'm always right,
• 40:35
  Speaker 4: and Scott is just good at dealing.
• 40:37
  Speaker 1: I mean, well, we know that it's a burden that
• 40:39
  Speaker 1: you carry, Tiff.
• 40:40
  Speaker 3: That's where it. Shoulders are so big.
• 40:43
  Speaker 1: When I think of righteousness, brothers and sisters loving the
• 40:49
  Speaker 1: Lord's wrong, I don't want to be right. When I
• 40:52
  Speaker 1: think of righteousness, I think of Jesus and you, Tiff,
• 40:57
  Speaker 1: so need to yourself a robe. Well, I'm sure we've
• 41:06
  Speaker 1: interested no one and inspired no one? And but fuck
• 41:10
  Speaker 1: it we've Is there anything you two want to ask
• 41:15
  Speaker 1: me before we go.
• 41:17
  Speaker 3: Put me on the spot.
• 41:19
  Speaker 1: Scott's like, ah, God, I wish you had told me earlier.
• 41:23
  Speaker 1: I would have spent all ovo planning.
• 41:25
  Speaker 5: I would have literally I would have at least written
• 41:27
  Speaker 5: down a couple of questions.
• 41:29
  Speaker 3: Mister Harper, I do have a question.
• 41:33
  Speaker 5: Do you think that's say, obviously, you've known to Tiff
• 41:36
  Speaker 5: a way longer than me, and you probably and you
• 41:38
  Speaker 5: discuss your relationship earlier. Yeah.
• 41:40
  Speaker 3: Do you think she has changed since we have been dating?
• 41:44
  Speaker 1: And if she has a do you think the change
• 41:47
  Speaker 1: is good?
• 41:50
  Speaker 2: Yes?
• 41:50
  Speaker 1: And yes? And I'm not just saying that because that
• 41:53
  Speaker 1: sounds you know, of course he's going to say that.
• 41:56
  Speaker 1: I truly think that. I think, oh fuck, I could
• 42:00
  Speaker 1: get myself in trouble. I could make her cry.
• 42:03
  Speaker 4: It's okay, I've got doctor Bale next week.
• 42:06
  Speaker 1: Oh good good. You might want to shift it forward. No,
• 42:12
  Speaker 1: I feel like Tiff is softer. She's softer in a
• 42:15
  Speaker 1: good way. Not physically softer. She's still a fucking weapon,
• 42:21
  Speaker 1: but she's emotionally and uh, I think she seems to
• 42:28
  Speaker 1: have you seem to have, I should say, Tiff, more
• 42:32
  Speaker 1: empathy and compassion. Whether or not that's because of you
• 42:36
  Speaker 1: or that's something that was evolving anyway, I think because
• 42:40
  Speaker 1: you're you're less scared of the world and things and
• 42:45
  Speaker 1: people that than you used to be. And whether or
• 42:49
  Speaker 1: not that's partly because of Scott, a lot because of
• 42:51
  Speaker 1: Scott or none because of Scott, I don't know, but
• 42:55
  Speaker 1: definitely in the time that you two have been together.
• 42:59
  Speaker 1: And this is a very random thing, but this is
• 43:02
  Speaker 1: just what the Lord gave me, Tiff, so I'm going
• 43:04
  Speaker 1: to go with it. You're a better listener, You're a
• 43:08
  Speaker 1: much better listener than you used to be. Yeah, and
• 43:12
  Speaker 1: maybe it's because you can't get a fucking word in
• 43:14
  Speaker 1: at home, but yeah, yeah, yeah, so yeah, that's that's
• 43:22
  Speaker 1: But I think it's good and I think it's good
• 43:24
  Speaker 1: for both you and I truly think that you two
• 43:27
  Speaker 1: are really good together. And you know, I'm a little
• 43:31
  Speaker 1: bit protective of Tiff. I'm a little bit big brother,
• 43:34
  Speaker 1: and so I'm glad I didn't have to beat the
• 43:37
  Speaker 1: crap out of you, Scott, to be honest, So that's good.
• 43:40
  Speaker 3: I'm glad to.
• 43:43
  Speaker 4: Not really it makes me cry again. I'll be honest.
• 43:45
  Speaker 1: Oh yeah, I'll come over in the head button. But
• 43:48
  Speaker 1: you know, it's like, you know people that you care about,
• 43:53
  Speaker 1: like my mates, I want them to have a great partner.
• 43:57
  Speaker 1: You know, my girl, Comma friends, you know, everyone that
• 44:00
  Speaker 1: I care about, I want them.
• 44:02
  Speaker 4: You know.
• 44:02
  Speaker 1: The bottom line is I think life is better and
• 44:07
  Speaker 1: TIFF's life is better because you're together. And I didn't know.
• 44:11
  Speaker 1: I knew you a bit before, Scottie. But and what
• 44:14
  Speaker 1: is hilarious is I remember the day when you told
• 44:17
  Speaker 1: me you're going to ask Tiff out and or you
• 44:22
  Speaker 1: had asked around or but you were shitting yourself to
• 44:25
  Speaker 1: tell me I was you see, seemed nervous, like like
• 44:31
  Speaker 1: I had the power to shut it down. Yeah, oh
• 44:33
  Speaker 1: yeah yeah.
• 44:34
  Speaker 5: And I'm like, ah, because we were having coffee and
• 44:36
  Speaker 5: it was like cord to seven and I was like, oh,
• 44:39
  Speaker 5: I need to be in there before seven.
• 44:41
  Speaker 3: But I was sitting in the car going fuck, I
• 44:43
  Speaker 3: have to tell him. Imagine if he's.
• 44:45
  Speaker 1: Not happy, that's all right, dude. You don't need my approval.
• 44:50
  Speaker 1: Nobody needs my approval, that's for sure. But you definitely
• 44:54
  Speaker 1: had my approval, both of you. And I think it's
• 44:56
  Speaker 1: I think it's nice.
• 44:57
  Speaker 4: Oh no, no, At what point that conversation happened, Oh yeah.
• 45:02
  Speaker 1: I cannot even remember, but it was very very early days.
• 45:06
  Speaker 1: I don't know, but I kind of because whenever Scott
• 45:12
  Speaker 1: would talk about you before you two had even had
• 45:14
  Speaker 1: your coffee, because we used to earl your first whatever
• 45:17
  Speaker 1: the fuck it is liaison, which is French for routing,
• 45:24
  Speaker 1: So before that had happened, he used to talk disproportionately
• 45:32
  Speaker 1: about you at out. I'm like, bro, I'm like, how
• 45:36
  Speaker 1: about give me a little bit of love? Sure gifts
• 45:39
  Speaker 1: fucking amazing. Oh, Tift's amazing. I'm like, okall he's gone.
• 45:46
  Speaker 1: I knew you were gone before I knew you knew
• 45:49
  Speaker 1: you were gone, So that five times.
• 45:51
  Speaker 3: Fast, I reckon that's a fair statement.
• 45:53
  Speaker 1: Actually yeah, but you're like no, no, I'm like, fucking now,
• 45:59
  Speaker 1: I'll just pull back the curtain for you now and
• 46:01
  Speaker 1: you oh yeah, yeah yeah. So anyway, did you eat
• 46:10
  Speaker 1: your chicken or you're having that I've eaten? Yeah, of
• 46:14
  Speaker 1: course you wouldn't have been able to do the pod
• 46:16
  Speaker 1: if you hadn't even would you look at both of them?
• 46:19
  Speaker 4: And that's for sure?
• 46:20
  Speaker 1: No, that's true, all right, appreciate both you, I will
• 46:24
  Speaker 1: say goodbye fare but as always, Scott, Douglay and Tiffany
• 46:29
  Speaker 1: and Cook, thanks for hanging out with me. Also, have
• 46:33
  Speaker 1: a good time and I'll see you before there, but
• 46:36
  Speaker 1: officially on the pod. Have a good time in Ireland, Scott,
• 46:39
  Speaker 1: how long ahead of tifty you arrive there?
• 46:42
  Speaker 3: Three weeks?
• 46:44
  Speaker 1: Island's my second favorite country in the world. I told
• 46:47
  Speaker 1: you my experience, my mythical, magical, spiritual experience in Ireland.
• 46:52
  Speaker 1: Freak to me the fuck out. But yeah, I love Ireland.
• 46:57
  Speaker 1: I love There's something like I'm into lots of places
• 47:01
  Speaker 1: and it's nice, it's great, but when I went to Ireland,
• 47:06
  Speaker 1: it's like I belong in Ireland. It's like I just
• 47:09
  Speaker 1: had I belong in Ireland. And for those who don't know,
• 47:12
  Speaker 1: my grandmother was Irish, so whatever, that makes me some
• 47:18
  Speaker 1: reasonable percentage of Irish. And yeah, but dude, there's something
• 47:24
  Speaker 1: magical about that place. So maybe next year, when all
• 47:29
  Speaker 1: the stuff I'm in the middle of now has passed
• 47:35
  Speaker 1: or resolved or settled or whatever, maybe.
• 47:38
  Speaker 3: I'll come out and do some bailing with you. Yeah
• 47:41
  Speaker 3: it'll be cool, mane.
• 47:43
  Speaker 1: Yeah, while I'm there, I'll officiate the wedding. Hey, it's
• 47:47
  Speaker 1: been great. No, I don't want to put any pressure
• 47:50
  Speaker 1: on you. Also, you don't need to choose me. But
• 47:53
  Speaker 1: I'm very reasonably priced and nobody will ever fucking forget
• 48:00
  Speaker 1: the celebrant, right, so they won't remember you too, but
• 48:05
  Speaker 1: fucking hell, I'll be a crack up for them for
• 48:07
  Speaker 1: decades to come, he says humbly, with zero self awareness.
• 48:15
  Speaker 1: All Right, see you both take it easy, mate, Thank you.
• 48:18
  Speaker 4: Thanks