Latest / Stuff Mom Never Told You / Happy Hour #29: Hyperion Brewing

Transcript

Happy Hour #29: Hyperion Brewing · Stuff Mom Never Told You

0:05
Speaker 1: Hey, this is Annie and Samantha. I look up to
0:07
Speaker 1: stuff I've never told your production of I Heart Radio,
0:18
Speaker 1: and welcome to another happy hour. Welcome as always, I'm
0:22
Speaker 1: saying that to you Andy as well. I'm welcoming to
0:25
Speaker 1: you as well as I'm happy to be here. Also
0:31
Speaker 1: paid to be here, but I am happy to see you.
0:34
Speaker 1: I'm happy to see you. And just as a reminder,
0:38
Speaker 1: the drinks that we are drinking are not our sponsors.
0:40
Speaker 1: Is just someone that we found that we thought are
0:42
Speaker 1: delightful and have women involved, which should be so hard
0:47
Speaker 1: but sometimes can be to find companies that have women
0:51
Speaker 1: involved as part of the major production. I hope that
0:55
Speaker 1: changes one day. Anyway, this is where we are. But
1:00
Speaker 1: also if you are drinking, please drink responsibly whatever you
1:03
Speaker 1: are drinking, whether it is an alcoholic beverage, a caffeinated beverage,
1:08
Speaker 1: and or something that you enjoy way too much, like
1:11
Speaker 1: if you're doing a milkshakey but you know you don't
1:13
Speaker 1: like us. Intolerant not a great idea. I do it
1:15
Speaker 1: all the time and I'm not necessarily intolerant, but it's
1:18
Speaker 1: not great with my body. I've discovered too much. I
1:22
Speaker 1: shouldn't have tea. That's what I write. Got all weird,
1:25
Speaker 1: intolerant with tea, so and anything with ninten it. Keep
1:28
Speaker 1: that away, so a lot of things. Just be responsible.
1:33
Speaker 1: And today we are sipping on some delicious beers from
1:37
Speaker 1: Hyperion Brewing, which is located in Jacksonville, Florida, if you're interested,
1:43
Speaker 1: and by the way, if you get a chance to
1:45
Speaker 1: be in downtown Jacksonville and actually go to the brewery,
1:49
Speaker 1: the bartenders are delightful. I had two lovely young ladies
1:52
Speaker 1: who were so kind and so helpful and also very
1:56
Speaker 1: weird at about all the questions I was asking rightly,
2:00
Speaker 1: so I explained why. But you know, it's one of
2:03
Speaker 1: those weird things where I'm like, I'm a podcaster and
2:05
Speaker 1: You're like, there's millions of you essentially, and why do
2:08
Speaker 1: I care? And I'm like, yeah, that's fair. I hope
2:13
Speaker 1: they're listening. Hello. I don't think so. They one of
2:16
Speaker 1: them said they kind of heard of us. I was
2:18
Speaker 1: trying to explain. It's one of those moments where I'm like,
2:20
Speaker 1: I'm not trying to get free things, please know, I
2:23
Speaker 1: just want you to know this is why I'm asking
2:24
Speaker 1: all of these questions, because you're looking at me like
2:26
Speaker 1: I'm a weirdo. Fair enough, but they were very kind
2:29
Speaker 1: and so helpful and so informative, and they did help
2:32
Speaker 1: me pick out these beers from hyperion as well. So
2:36
Speaker 1: I'm going to go ahead and open mind to start
2:38
Speaker 1: the drunk and I want to see if we can
2:41
Speaker 1: do this without pouring this into my lap because I
2:42
Speaker 1: did not have luck last time. That was my crowler
2:48
Speaker 1: is a thirty two ouncer. And I am not going
2:50
Speaker 1: to be drinking all of this about myself. I promise
2:52
Speaker 1: I can't. And the ghozl I believe. I just poured
2:59
Speaker 1: myself a six ounce poor. I used to be able
3:04
Speaker 1: to do this. Oh you do you have experience in
3:06
Speaker 1: that world, so I trust you. I am drinking a
3:09
Speaker 1: Selene satrine, which is a blood orange blonde. Just why
3:13
Speaker 1: any what are you drinking? I am drinking hot Daity,
3:17
Speaker 1: which is a great name, which is an I P
3:20
Speaker 1: A type of I P A yeah, which I haven't
3:23
Speaker 1: sipped yet. I just told you that, but I trust
3:25
Speaker 1: that is the truth. You're not trying to trick me.
3:28
Speaker 1: I'm not trying to trict you today today um and
3:32
Speaker 1: just kind of give you a background of hot Perion.
3:34
Speaker 1: It was started by a businesswoman, Alexandremmy Cowen, who is
3:38
Speaker 1: a twenty nine year old who had to desire to
3:40
Speaker 1: be her own boss. Yeah, girl, do it and have
3:44
Speaker 1: a startup, and after reconnecting with a high school friend
3:47
Speaker 1: dabbling with some homebrewing, decided to go down the brewing avenue.
3:51
Speaker 1: And she did have a little bit hard time trying
3:53
Speaker 1: to get the started, especially in trying to get money
3:56
Speaker 1: and loans. Eventually she was able to partner with a
3:58
Speaker 1: couple from Michigan and open end up the brewery in
4:01
Speaker 1: downtown Jacksonville. It is really lovely. It's called Springfield Little
4:05
Speaker 1: Neighborhood just in f Y. There's a few breweries down
4:09
Speaker 1: that way, and it was really delight and if you
4:12
Speaker 1: do go into the space, it's such a large, cute
4:15
Speaker 1: space because they have this whole like set up in
4:18
Speaker 1: the front where you can play games and look at
4:20
Speaker 1: all these fun artwork. And then if you go into
4:23
Speaker 1: the bag they have a whole garden area and it's
4:27
Speaker 1: massive and you can play little games out there. They
4:29
Speaker 1: have plans like it is. They went all out, like
4:32
Speaker 1: they have fire pits everywhere. It was nice and like
4:34
Speaker 1: man I wish I lived here, just gonna have a
4:36
Speaker 1: party in the back at the brewery. Specific at that brewery,
4:41
Speaker 1: like it's a fun brewery. I was like, wow, this
4:43
Speaker 1: is fantastic anyway, but it is a fun little company.
4:47
Speaker 1: And yeah. I went to Jacksonville to visit my partner's
4:51
Speaker 1: family and I was like, hey, Florida. We kind of
4:55
Speaker 1: talked about a little bit. The distributing loss interstate is
4:58
Speaker 1: really complicated, and you can't get things everywhere in Florida
5:02
Speaker 1: and Georgia as much as you would think, don't have
5:05
Speaker 1: a good connection, and so there's things down there that
5:07
Speaker 1: we can't get in Georgia's I wanted to try a
5:10
Speaker 1: couple of breweries and I didn't a couple of Hyperion
5:13
Speaker 1: was one of them, and very glad to find it.
5:16
Speaker 1: We all enjoyed it very much and found good beers.
5:19
Speaker 1: But yeah, I am drinking this a Selene Citrine blood
5:23
Speaker 1: orange blonde, which if you know much about blonde, it
5:26
Speaker 1: is a lighter, almost like a summary beer, kind of
5:29
Speaker 1: along the ale ish, so not really hoppy, not really
5:32
Speaker 1: tired or bitter in any way. It is very smooth
5:35
Speaker 1: to me. It's multi ish. It does have a blood
5:38
Speaker 1: orange like hey ish, and I say, hey ish, and
5:42
Speaker 1: that it's very just soft and mellow in that level
5:45
Speaker 1: that smell you get that's like refreshing, that is comforting
5:48
Speaker 1: to me. Um, and that a little bit of citrus
5:51
Speaker 1: is a really big delight. And I love, love the
5:54
Speaker 1: taste of this. And I definitely understand that the first
5:56
Speaker 1: thing you smell is the orange and it is a
6:00
Speaker 1: lightful beer. And their description says it is a situacy,
6:03
Speaker 1: crisp and pink, and it is a piquache color ish,
6:07
Speaker 1: this blonde will leave you feeling like you're sipping bruise
6:09
Speaker 1: in a beautiful orchard on a sunny day. Hey, right,
6:13
Speaker 1: right right. I don't know, it's a popular beer descriptor.
6:18
Speaker 1: I get what you're saying. That sounds lovely. I am
6:22
Speaker 1: as I said, drinking the Hot Deity. I feel like
6:25
Speaker 1: I said this in the last one too, But I
6:27
Speaker 1: wouldn't have said this was an I p A actually,
6:29
Speaker 1: because to me, whether I'm wrong or right, based on
6:33
Speaker 1: the I p A S I've had in my life,
6:35
Speaker 1: it would be much more hoppy and bitter. And that's
6:37
Speaker 1: definitely still there, definitely still there at the end, but
6:40
Speaker 1: it's it's I also was gonna use mellow, and then
6:43
Speaker 1: you used mellow. It's much mellower in the front, and
6:48
Speaker 1: it's got kind of it's not malt, but it like lingers.
6:53
Speaker 1: It's sort of a grassy, vegetal feeling going on, but
6:56
Speaker 1: it's it's brighter than what I'm used to with a
6:58
Speaker 1: lot of I p s. And I know I say
7:00
Speaker 1: that knowing that I have had a lot of one
7:03
Speaker 1: specific type of IPA in my life. Right, I know
7:06
Speaker 1: that the world of I P A is bigger than
7:07
Speaker 1: what my experiences, but just for me when I go
7:11
Speaker 1: into something. So from their description, it is a balanced
7:14
Speaker 1: I PA with four varieties of hops Magnum for bitterness,
7:18
Speaker 1: centennial and Summit for notes of citrus, and mosaic to
7:20
Speaker 1: provide a fruity aroma. Right, so this is not a
7:23
Speaker 1: double I p A, which is typically a little more
7:26
Speaker 1: bitter and over like a little sweeter, And it's not
7:29
Speaker 1: It doesn't seem like a New England style either, which
7:33
Speaker 1: has a little more bitterness. Typically I could be wrong.
7:36
Speaker 1: They're gonna yell at me. Someone's gonna yell at me.
7:38
Speaker 1: It's been a minute. I'm not drinking it now, But
7:40
Speaker 1: when I had it, at the tasting, it didn't feel
7:42
Speaker 1: that way mosaic, and I think I've said this before.
7:44
Speaker 1: It is one of my favorite hops because it does
7:47
Speaker 1: have that fruity a roma, so it almost takes like
7:50
Speaker 1: the grassy or sometimes there's some beers that smells like
7:53
Speaker 1: weed like. It is that level of aroma, and it
7:57
Speaker 1: mellows it out with a little more fruitiness to it,
8:00
Speaker 1: and I think it adds a greatness to it. This
8:02
Speaker 1: is me of course, like people talk about with the
8:04
Speaker 1: cosmos and all those things. Anyway, that's a whole different
8:06
Speaker 1: other level. But this is a complex for sure, with
8:09
Speaker 1: the fact that they have four varieties of hops, but
8:12
Speaker 1: they balanced it nicely. My opinion from back then, that's
8:16
Speaker 1: my nose trying to remember three weeks ago, so two
8:18
Speaker 1: weeks ago, three weeks ago, how many weeks ago? So
8:21
Speaker 1: many weeks ago, y'all, it could be any number of weeks.
8:25
Speaker 1: There's so many weeks. One of the things that I
8:42
Speaker 1: did love about Alexandra's story about the fact that she
8:45
Speaker 1: got to reconnect with a high school friend because she
8:48
Speaker 1: moved away came back. Apparently he worked with the company.
8:50
Speaker 1: I think it's like to slay for South America or
8:53
Speaker 1: something and came back and found a ruse and just
8:56
Speaker 1: like kind of reconnected, and they started making me think
8:58
Speaker 1: about high school, you know, like if I and I'm
9:01
Speaker 1: not gonna lie, I think there's a been a part
9:02
Speaker 1: of me. So a couple of years ago, it was
9:04
Speaker 1: my tenure reunion and I was petrified, there's no way
9:08
Speaker 1: in hell I'm going to my tenure reunion. All right.
9:12
Speaker 1: Oh no, A couple of years. Oh my god, I've
9:16
Speaker 1: met my twenty year reunion. Holy I'm having a crisis.
9:20
Speaker 1: I'm having a mode of crisis. Give me a minute.
9:23
Speaker 1: A couple of weeks turned into a couple of years
9:26
Speaker 1: for me. A decade is I'm a decade off? Oh
9:29
Speaker 1: my god. I was like, Okay, listeners, I'm so sorry.
9:34
Speaker 1: I just had an identity crisis, a midlife crisis as
9:39
Speaker 1: we speak, because I just realized it was twenty year
9:41
Speaker 1: reunion and not tenu reunion. We did have an excuse
9:45
Speaker 1: of having in COVID, and I'm very grateful for that
9:48
Speaker 1: because there's no way in hell I would go to it.
9:50
Speaker 1: I would like to maintain that I feel like I
9:52
Speaker 1: looked younger than most of the people from my generation
9:55
Speaker 1: because of my brown, oily skin. But I have been
9:59
Speaker 1: thinking about out all of the people that I've lost
10:01
Speaker 1: contact with, and I honestly think I've only talked to
10:04
Speaker 1: two or three people from my high school. And I
10:07
Speaker 1: started thinking about, man, how much have we changed? And
10:10
Speaker 1: also my adorable family member who has recently kind of
10:15
Speaker 1: come away from that and has grown as an adult,
10:18
Speaker 1: looking back on her and her having her own identity
10:21
Speaker 1: crisis of like, I'm changing so much and become a
10:23
Speaker 1: different person, what does this look like? And I want
10:26
Speaker 1: to ask you when you were in high school, and
10:29
Speaker 1: I think we've already talked about this before, but what
10:31
Speaker 1: did you think? What were your plans when you were
10:34
Speaker 1: like a senior year in high school, because that was
10:36
Speaker 1: a pivotal year we were making all of these big plans.
10:40
Speaker 1: What were your plans? Uh, honestly, they were pretty shallow
10:45
Speaker 1: looking back, because I I was a real overachiever in school.
10:51
Speaker 1: But for some reason, when I became a senior, I
10:53
Speaker 1: got the worst case of senioritis. Like I would sit
10:56
Speaker 1: in the parking lot and think I could just drive
10:58
Speaker 1: away and no one would see me again. And it
11:01
Speaker 1: was why, Like I can't really tell you. I guess
11:03
Speaker 1: it was like maybe fear of change and just being tired,
11:06
Speaker 1: but so I wanted it. I wanted a change I
11:08
Speaker 1: wanted like I chose the school I went to. I
11:12
Speaker 1: know I've said it before. I'm embarrassed by it, but
11:13
Speaker 1: I chose it because I thought I have the best
11:15
Speaker 1: chance at like partying and finding a man, which was
11:19
Speaker 1: way off. I was so wrong, and ultimately I'm glad
11:23
Speaker 1: I am, but I wanted like that. I was like,
11:26
Speaker 1: you know, maybe I just needed a new scenery and
11:28
Speaker 1: all be able to be like the cool person because
11:33
Speaker 1: I wasn't uncooled, but I was definitely not cool. I
11:36
Speaker 1: was like the well liked crowd. But I thought it
11:38
Speaker 1: could build a new identity. I guess what I'm saying.
11:40
Speaker 1: I thought I could get I could date, and I
11:43
Speaker 1: wouldn't feel so weird about dating somebody I've known since kindergarten.
11:46
Speaker 1: I thought I could make a new kind of personality,
11:50
Speaker 1: because it's hard to do that when you've known people
11:52
Speaker 1: for so long. For me, it was. And then I
11:55
Speaker 1: really wanted to travel, so that's why I chose that
12:00
Speaker 1: agree I chose, which also feels very shallow and especially
12:03
Speaker 1: now like looking back, as I said, I would have
12:06
Speaker 1: been a terrible spy. But I also wanted to be
12:08
Speaker 1: a diplomat, and I was thinking about like just traveling
12:10
Speaker 1: being a diplomat. But so that's what I thought. I
12:12
Speaker 1: thought I was going to go kind of reinvent myself,
12:16
Speaker 1: as they say, and I did have in the back
12:19
Speaker 1: of my head like I really want to write and
12:20
Speaker 1: I really want to be an actor. But I also
12:24
Speaker 1: I'm a very logical person, and I'm really prone to arguments,
12:28
Speaker 1: like my parents were like, you know, we're not going
12:31
Speaker 1: to pay for any like you need you need to
12:34
Speaker 1: find a way to pay for college, and no one
12:37
Speaker 1: can get jobs in essentially is what they told me,
12:39
Speaker 1: which you know, right or wrong, that's what they said.
12:41
Speaker 1: And I was like, you're right, that's very hard to
12:42
Speaker 1: be able to succeed in. I'll do this other thing.
12:45
Speaker 1: I did also follow one of my friends to Georgia Tech.
12:48
Speaker 1: She wasn't the only reason I chose it, but she
12:51
Speaker 1: was part of the reason. I'll say that, yeah, yeah,
12:54
Speaker 1: for myself, I dreamt of leaving La j Georgia. That
12:58
Speaker 1: was my big goal, and but wanted to go somewhere
13:01
Speaker 1: that I could be with friends. So I'd gone with
13:03
Speaker 1: my high school best friend. We all got in. We
13:06
Speaker 1: were so excited she and our roommates for a freshman year.
13:09
Speaker 1: It didn't break us, surprisingly, the or a lot of screaming,
13:13
Speaker 1: but I definitely was excited. I got accepted. I was
13:16
Speaker 1: a first one to leave the home now to go
13:19
Speaker 1: to school. Now, the others did leave the home, but
13:22
Speaker 1: it was because a marriage, so well that was a
13:24
Speaker 1: whole different conversation. But I was not about that obviously,
13:28
Speaker 1: And I had this whole plan. I had this plan
13:30
Speaker 1: that I was going to be a missionary, a doctor,
13:34
Speaker 1: and I was going to travel the world and save
13:35
Speaker 1: the world essentially. And then eventually, like I came back
13:39
Speaker 1: and that didn't happen, and then I went back and
13:41
Speaker 1: forth about like, well, maybe I don't want to do this,
13:43
Speaker 1: maybe I want to be a social worker. And I
13:44
Speaker 1: did decide early on to be a part of that world.
13:49
Speaker 1: But yeah, I had this dream. I was going to
13:51
Speaker 1: go there, find my husband as well, We're going to
13:54
Speaker 1: connect travel the world together. I had read too many
13:57
Speaker 1: Christian books about couples who left on mission trip and
14:01
Speaker 1: that was gonna be me having children. Maybe understanding that
14:05
Speaker 1: there was a lot of trauma in the back of
14:07
Speaker 1: my mind. But you know, I had already solved it
14:09
Speaker 1: because Jesus right, which is not kind of sending for
14:12
Speaker 1: those who believe in religion, but that was really like, oh,
14:15
Speaker 1: this is not going to be a fixed fall, but
14:16
Speaker 1: I believed it to be at that point for me.
14:19
Speaker 1: And yeah, I think I thought the same thing about
14:22
Speaker 1: like I'm gonna find myself. I'm gonna I'm gonna be
14:24
Speaker 1: the girl who finds a man and it's a perfect man,
14:27
Speaker 1: and everybody's gonna be jealous of this man because in
14:30
Speaker 1: school there I never dated. I didn't have boyfriends, like,
14:32
Speaker 1: it wasn't a thing for me. I was the responsible one.
14:35
Speaker 1: I was the mom of my friend group, and finally
14:38
Speaker 1: I was going to go out and find myself. It
14:42
Speaker 1: didn't happen that way. That's the whole like SpongeBob me,
14:47
Speaker 1: you know, like I don't do. But yeah, and with that,
14:50
Speaker 1: I've got to ask you, how did that experience actually
14:53
Speaker 1: change when you left? Were your expectations rather, I think
14:56
Speaker 1: my expectations changed really quickly because I had been used
15:02
Speaker 1: to not having to study, like I had to put
15:06
Speaker 1: in a lot of homework time, but I didn't have
15:08
Speaker 1: to study, and then I almost failed my first semester
15:10
Speaker 1: of college and so right after that because I was
15:13
Speaker 1: an overachiever and that you know, oh my god, what
15:16
Speaker 1: a eye opener that was. And I will say I
15:20
Speaker 1: didn't reinvent myself in the way I thought I would,
15:23
Speaker 1: and I almost hesitate to use that because I know
15:25
Speaker 1: it's been made fun of so much. But I did.
15:26
Speaker 1: I did go through a lot of growth, and I
15:29
Speaker 1: did discover a lot about myself. A lot of it
15:32
Speaker 1: makes me cringe looking back, but the thing that I
15:36
Speaker 1: think I ultimately wanted, and I just didn't realize what
15:38
Speaker 1: I the end goal of that was. Like I thought
15:42
Speaker 1: it was me married with children, a different person, but
15:45
Speaker 1: instead it was me who did get to go and travel,
15:48
Speaker 1: even if it wasn't for like being a diplomat. But
15:51
Speaker 1: I got to work in other countries through college, and
15:54
Speaker 1: I made friends, and I did get to explore avenues
16:00
Speaker 1: of myself that I hadn't yet and I got I
16:02
Speaker 1: remember having so many and I know that's also a
16:05
Speaker 1: joke too, is you go to like your liberal college
16:07
Speaker 1: and they could they ruin you. But I remember having
16:09
Speaker 1: conversations with people where somebody said something to me once
16:14
Speaker 1: that to me now is such a foundational thing, but
16:16
Speaker 1: back then I never heard anybody talk about it. But
16:18
Speaker 1: she was talking about like the right to human dignity,
16:21
Speaker 1: and we got into a conversation about that because a
16:24
Speaker 1: lot of there were a lot of things I felt
16:25
Speaker 1: and believed, but I wasn't good at articulating my felter
16:28
Speaker 1: believed to them. So I did get that too. I
16:31
Speaker 1: got that in college. I feel like I learned a
16:34
Speaker 1: good work ethic and arguing. So I guess what I'm
16:36
Speaker 1: saying is I didn't I had I wasn't correct about
16:39
Speaker 1: the ultimate idea or goal of the end point, but
16:43
Speaker 1: I got all the stuff that I was really underlying
16:46
Speaker 1: of what I wanted. Right, Yeah, I was with you
16:49
Speaker 1: the first semester of college. The first year of college,
16:52
Speaker 1: I almost I didn't fail, but I was definitely seize
16:54
Speaker 1: and I lost Hope, which is the Hope Grant, which
16:57
Speaker 1: is the scholarship for B and then so um. When
17:00
Speaker 1: I started college, I think it was in the middle
17:02
Speaker 1: of the not middle, but like towards the beginning middle
17:05
Speaker 1: of the program, because now it's changed. The standards have changed,
17:07
Speaker 1: and I don't know if I would qualify now because
17:09
Speaker 1: they're so much more stringent, but like I think I
17:13
Speaker 1: definitely lost that because I got a few seas and
17:16
Speaker 1: I was like, oh, I can't do chemistry, fair, fair,
17:19
Speaker 1: I can't do calculus like this. Fair. I had an
17:22
Speaker 1: Italian teacher like, you can't do it that way, and
17:23
Speaker 1: I was like, wait, no, I'm about have it. Don't
17:26
Speaker 1: do this to me. And so I had to reevaluate, oh,
17:30
Speaker 1: maybe this is not my field. As well as the
17:33
Speaker 1: fact though I actually went in a different direction. I
17:36
Speaker 1: became more conservative almost in college, which is kind of
17:40
Speaker 1: a lot of regret in that, like not necessarily my compassion,
17:44
Speaker 1: but like in my ideas of keeping myself and making
17:49
Speaker 1: sure I maintain myself, make sure I may be responsible decisions.
17:52
Speaker 1: I'm not that crazy kid that does the crazy things
17:55
Speaker 1: which I do. Kind of regret. I kind of wish
17:57
Speaker 1: I'd been able to do a few of the crazy things.
18:00
Speaker 1: And it wasn't until I saw the world and I
18:02
Speaker 1: was plunked into the world and meaning like I started
18:05
Speaker 1: with that job, I went outside of the Christian organizations
18:08
Speaker 1: that I was a part of and realized, oh, the
18:11
Speaker 1: world is not as insulated and and I've just been
18:14
Speaker 1: going through microaggression towards me accepting that because that's what
18:17
Speaker 1: I grew up with, not realizing these are wrong, but
18:20
Speaker 1: like in an idea like this is wrong because they
18:23
Speaker 1: made me want to be white, and I feel guilty
18:25
Speaker 1: that I'm not white, and I feel ashamed of myself
18:27
Speaker 1: because I'm not white, because according to them, this is
18:30
Speaker 1: a superior race and micro aggression and the little digs
18:34
Speaker 1: of being Asian which I have made Joseph myself, it's
18:39
Speaker 1: not a good thing. Oh, this does hurt my self esteem.
18:42
Speaker 1: I'm not just being self deprecating and funny. I'm literally
18:45
Speaker 1: hurting my self esteem. And so were they. But because
18:48
Speaker 1: I've given them permission, they think it's funny. And because
18:52
Speaker 1: I have become their entertainment and their jokes and their
18:54
Speaker 1: clown I have become entertainment and not and not realizing
18:59
Speaker 1: this is what I had learned to acclimate. And in
19:02
Speaker 1: college I fed into that way too long, um and
19:05
Speaker 1: I had no one to tell me I was wrong. Instead,
19:07
Speaker 1: I was encouraged to maintain that because I could not
19:11
Speaker 1: see past the white communities. So for me, it's such
19:14
Speaker 1: a weird thing. It's like I fed into it even
19:17
Speaker 1: more to the fact that my conservative parents thought I
19:20
Speaker 1: was pompous. Yeah, yeah, that's that's us a lot, right,
19:26
Speaker 1: And I was, And I was like, I would not
19:29
Speaker 1: disagree with them whatsoever. I'm sure they're missing that now,
19:35
Speaker 1: but there's a lot to be said. I was like, oh, yeah,
19:38
Speaker 1: I guess I have become a little different. And since then,
19:42
Speaker 1: like my big change didn't happen until I left. I
19:45
Speaker 1: really like feel like college was even more insular for
19:49
Speaker 1: me readly enough. Ye, And I think that goes back
20:06
Speaker 1: to this, what would you tell your high school self today?
20:11
Speaker 1: That's a good question. I feel like I feel like
20:13
Speaker 1: this is a question I get asked like three times
20:14
Speaker 1: a year, and somehow I can never remember what I
20:17
Speaker 1: always say because I think for me, a lot of
20:20
Speaker 1: it would be and I know this is an impossible thing.
20:25
Speaker 1: I would have hated to hear it. I know a
20:27
Speaker 1: lot of young people hate to hear it, but it
20:29
Speaker 1: would have been like it's okay because I was so insecure.
20:33
Speaker 1: I was so insecure and I would not. I just
20:40
Speaker 1: felt so uncomfortable in my own skin. And there's a
20:42
Speaker 1: lot of reasons for that. But because of that, I
20:46
Speaker 1: spent like I don't know, when I look back on
20:48
Speaker 1: high school. I just it's almost a feeling I remember
20:51
Speaker 1: more of just being like shrinking and like hoping no
20:55
Speaker 1: one noticed me, and feeling like I had to when
20:58
Speaker 1: they did. I had to certain ways. Like I said,
21:01
Speaker 1: I would really play up like being sexual, or people
21:04
Speaker 1: would make fun of me for the drugs. Um they
21:08
Speaker 1: thought I was on drugs and people make fun of
21:10
Speaker 1: you for it, and I would play into it. And
21:13
Speaker 1: really I was struggling and I needed help, and I
21:14
Speaker 1: wish I could have confided in somebody that. But I
21:17
Speaker 1: think that's the big thing. I know, it's annoying because
21:19
Speaker 1: it's like cliche off, like it's going to get better.
21:23
Speaker 1: I wish I I just wish I could have been like,
21:24
Speaker 1: it's okay, so you have friends. I was lucky. I
21:27
Speaker 1: had friends. Yeah, it wasn't perfect, but I had friends
21:30
Speaker 1: and we were weird, but it was okay, right, Yeah,
21:35
Speaker 1: And as you said that, I don't. Actually I only
21:37
Speaker 1: have a couple of friends that I talked to. But
21:40
Speaker 1: I think it's because we all grew together, and those
21:42
Speaker 1: who I didn't grow with I don't see as much
21:46
Speaker 1: or talked to as much. There's a big separation between us,
21:49
Speaker 1: and that makes me sad, and obviously a lot of levels,
21:52
Speaker 1: and a lot of that also has to do with
21:54
Speaker 1: distance and where we are in life. You know, I
21:57
Speaker 1: think you and I talked about this earlier about I've
22:00
Speaker 1: gotten to the point that, you know, some people are
22:02
Speaker 1: in their second marriage with more children, or they have
22:04
Speaker 1: five children, three children, four children, like so many more
22:07
Speaker 1: children that it's impossible to get together. And there's it's
22:11
Speaker 1: almost this whole layer of being within your socioeconomic status.
22:18
Speaker 1: And what I mean by that not necessarily about finances,
22:20
Speaker 1: but it is about finances because when you have to
22:22
Speaker 1: two incomes, it was very different from my twenty nine
22:26
Speaker 1: thousand dollars a year income that I was getting at
22:28
Speaker 1: one point in time, so very different. But for myself,
22:34
Speaker 1: I really, like I said, I wish I had a
22:36
Speaker 1: person in my life that taught me what it is
22:41
Speaker 1: to have my own identity, because there was a lot
22:45
Speaker 1: that I missed out on. There's a lot of I'm
22:47
Speaker 1: fearful of today and even exploring and even saying, like
22:51
Speaker 1: claiming myself as Korean seems bold because if I started
22:56
Speaker 1: getting asked questions, I started falling apart. Even to the
23:00
Speaker 1: point that I have my white partner to go in
23:03
Speaker 1: and to authentic Korean restaurants to pick up food for
23:06
Speaker 1: us because I'm scared that I'm going to be talked
23:09
Speaker 1: to judge for being fake and dismissed. And I've had that.
23:13
Speaker 1: It's not it's not just a fear. It's happened to me,
23:16
Speaker 1: and for many times that I've been a part of
23:20
Speaker 1: that fear. Because of that, I shut down, and therefore
23:24
Speaker 1: it's that worse reaction of I feed into that, So
23:27
Speaker 1: therefore I can't come out that like they're trying to
23:29
Speaker 1: dig my whole out, and it's just the whole thing.
23:32
Speaker 1: And I really wish I could have found that part
23:34
Speaker 1: in in college and finding that identity, because it's harder
23:38
Speaker 1: as an adult. It's harder trying to figure that out
23:41
Speaker 1: as an adult because and we're going to talk about
23:43
Speaker 1: this eventually, trying to make friends as an adult, trying
23:46
Speaker 1: to find connections like that as an adult, it's difficult.
23:51
Speaker 1: And I really wish I could have been able to
23:52
Speaker 1: be like you want to take advantage of this, as
23:54
Speaker 1: many times I purposely distanced myself from that ethnicity, from
23:59
Speaker 1: this culture, and I regret that so hard. Yeah, when
24:04
Speaker 1: I look back, for me to for for a lot
24:08
Speaker 1: of those that kind of related in a way of
24:10
Speaker 1: that is like just I wish there was a way
24:17
Speaker 1: to recognize like sexism, what you're I don't know, like
24:21
Speaker 1: these things that are hurting you when you don't realize
24:22
Speaker 1: why you're hurting you and you're playing into it, which
24:24
Speaker 1: is kind of what I was saying of like, yeah,
24:26
Speaker 1: I wish I could have been okay being like this
24:30
Speaker 1: isn't healthy. I'm going to cut you out. Like the
24:32
Speaker 1: importance of cutting out toxic friendships are being able to
24:34
Speaker 1: know what you want, Like I still struggle with that
24:36
Speaker 1: to this day. What do you want? And why can't
24:41
Speaker 1: I just wise the simple question of what you want,
24:43
Speaker 1: like leave me just hamstrong. But when you're in high school, especially,
24:48
Speaker 1: I think when you're younger, that can be a really
24:50
Speaker 1: dangerous proposition when you're like, well maybe I should want
24:53
Speaker 1: this thing, right, yes, let us make it out or whatever,
24:56
Speaker 1: And then I wish I wish I had known better
24:58
Speaker 1: to be able to say no and fiel like I
25:00
Speaker 1: have enough self confidence to know what I want and
25:03
Speaker 1: say no, and I believe that I was worth like
25:07
Speaker 1: it wasn't worth some guy not having blue balls, versus
25:10
Speaker 1: like my emotional state, it's not. Yeah, And you know,
25:15
Speaker 1: I will say, as I was talking about my younger
25:17
Speaker 1: family member trying to figure that out and getting there,
25:19
Speaker 1: I'm glad to know that she's there now because she's
25:22
Speaker 1: ten years ahead of me, you know what I mean.
25:24
Speaker 1: I'm jure you would say that for that younger generation,
25:27
Speaker 1: and I'm glad that they're learning from our mistakes and
25:30
Speaker 1: or they're willing to have that conversation. Yeah, me too.
25:34
Speaker 1: And that's the positivity I think of social networking and
25:37
Speaker 1: social media, all of that is a different level when
25:40
Speaker 1: you start realizing beyond the conforming ideas that we had,
25:46
Speaker 1: and you and I have a tenure gap, So there's
25:48
Speaker 1: just this whole level of conversation in that. But I
25:51
Speaker 1: find it interesting because yeah, as everyone heard my identity crisis,
25:57
Speaker 1: and I'm like, oh my god, it's been twenty years
25:58
Speaker 1: and I've been over to two years, over to over
26:01
Speaker 1: y'all several years, over twenty years of being in high school.
26:04
Speaker 1: That I'm like, what I forgot? The massive change that
26:09
Speaker 1: I hope is for the better. That there are things
26:11
Speaker 1: that I'm glad I didn't have to deal with social
26:13
Speaker 1: media as a kid would have wrecked me, I think,
26:16
Speaker 1: because I are it wrext me. Today, when I see
26:19
Speaker 1: anything that looks like criticism towards us, I'm like, oh
26:21
Speaker 1: my god, they ain't me. But at the same time,
26:26
Speaker 1: the ability to see beyond your own world it's nice.
26:30
Speaker 1: It's it's it's finally there. And the being able to
26:33
Speaker 1: connect because hearing stories of those who are going through
26:37
Speaker 1: the same thing, it's heartening as as much as it
26:40
Speaker 1: is it is sad, but it's this commoditative like, thank god,
26:44
Speaker 1: I'm not the only one, you know. And yeah, I
26:47
Speaker 1: feel like there's no other path I've could have gone
26:50
Speaker 1: down that would have led me to hear and I'm
26:53
Speaker 1: grateful for that. But there are moments that I'm like, man,
26:57
Speaker 1: I really wish I had known back some of the
27:01
Speaker 1: things I know today. Oh yeah, it's funny you say that,
27:05
Speaker 1: because I remember we had a talent show in high school.
27:10
Speaker 1: I did not compete, but this one kid, Spencer, he played.
27:15
Speaker 1: I wish I had known what I do now when
27:17
Speaker 1: I was younger, and I remember sitting there like bah,
27:21
Speaker 1: and I'm like, so many years ago, Oh wow, we've
27:33
Speaker 1: gone down a lot of memory lane trips. Yes, obviously
27:37
Speaker 1: we could keep talking, but you know, another another happy hour,
27:41
Speaker 1: more high school memories perhaps, but we would love to
27:46
Speaker 1: hear high school memories from you listeners. If you would
27:48
Speaker 1: like to email us about them, you can or email
27:50
Speaker 1: Stuff in your Mom Stuff at ihart mea dot com.
27:53
Speaker 1: You can find us on Twitter at most stuff Podcasts
27:54
Speaker 1: or Instagram and Stuff I've Never Told You. Thanks as
27:56
Speaker 1: always to our superproducer Christina. You need to hear your memory, yes,
28:02
Speaker 1: and thanks to you for listening Stuff I Never told You.
28:04
Speaker 1: The production of I Hire Radio for More podcast on
28:06
Speaker 1: my Heart Radio is the get her radio app, Apple
28:08
Speaker 1: podcast or where you listening to your favorite shops